How to Turn Rejection Into Opportunity

You see, the thing about rejection is that it’s only a negative thing if you allow it to be. Sure, it feels lousy at first, but underneath that rejection is an opportunity that can change you for the better. What you feel and what you can do about it is two different things. So how to turn rejection into opportunity?

Ask for an Explanation. If you’re turned down for a job or a raise, calmly and coolly ask the rejecting person why. The reasons may have nothing to do with you (such as budget issues) or, if they do, you’ll be able to use this information to improve for next time. Resist Taking it Personally! It is important to realize that whatever someone says or does that appears to cause you pain is often, if not always, not personal. So if you’re feeling like the rejection is a personal affront to your character, let it go. Learning to let go is actually a simple process that is ingrained in all of us. However, most up us need to relearn the powerful act of letting go.

Let go of wanting to change what happened. If you’re wishing that you were the center of attention in your office, or envying the person who got your promotion, the colleague that dresses better, etc, you are only making matters worse. Let go of wanting to change what the others are doing or not doing, and allow yourself to let go of the feeling of being rejected. You cannot feel others rejecting you, you can only feel your rejecting them back. So let go of wanting to reject them back, and then notice how you relax and lose interest in what they think. You will also find that they begin treat you with much more love and respect.

Take back control. Being rejected can make you feel like a victim but you have been in control all along. The more you learn to let go of your hurt feelings, the more you will realize that only you have the power to determine how you feel. So rather than letting a rejection get you down, use the failure as a stepping stone to your future success.

Now lets look at the situation in a personal capacity when involved with someone. If you're trying to build a relationship with a person and they reject your offer of either getting together, going on a date or becoming more than friends, let it be. Don't let it chew you up inside. The world is made up of all sorts of people. You may not be their type. They may not like the way you look, dress or even talk. You don't expect to go up to Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt and they like you above all other persons, would you? If they rejected you, wouldn't you except it because they said so and move on? Sure you will. A celebrity, however, is no different than anyone else so why let it eat you up inside? If you can accept the rejection from a celeb(and I don't mean that they are any better) why not a normal person?

Shake it off and move on. People are sometimes hurt because the rejection comes a little later into knowing a person. They may have been going out for a while. They also could have been having sex. The rejection by one person may be due to indifference's about lifestyle issues or possibly their ideals of a spouse and partner. It's just one of those things where people find that it's not working out the way they like it to be. Maybe their "space" is being compromised. They may not be ready for a commitment or one is rushing the relationship and the other is feeling trapped. Whatever the rejection reason is one must respect the others decision. Take a bow and leave even with your head held high.

Bar advice. The rejection is sometimes lessons well learned. It makes a person better and brings tested feelings into light. Look into that light for better things to come.

Relationship advice by zodiac compatibility

The compatibility of someone in a relationship is something that we all want. Lots of people do follow with zodiac sign charts to find a mate. Sometimes you even got a nagging mother that tells you the "stars" can guide you to find your soul mate. Here's my relationship advice by zodiac compatibility. Maybe there's something or even nothing to all this but lets just see what sort of person you may be dealing with and what to expect in the mystical relationship.

Aquarius
This sign loves humanity as a whole, and first must love a friend before they become a partner. Independence and freedom loving, they are fully and completely loyal, once committed or married. They expect their partners to share the responsibilities of home and family as well as have common goals for the relationship.

Pisces
Love is the fuel that energizes Pisces into a lasting commitment. For Pisces, love, affection and romance are a package deal. These dreamy romantics need assurance that they are loved, and do not handle rejection from their partners very well. Pisces makes a very sensitive and understanding partner who will be loyal as long as the romance remains.

Aries
The thrill of the chase and the challenge of love as well as the passion of romance are on this possessive sign's priority list. In relationships Aries are demanding. They don't don't want to be controlled and it's important for them to feel that they come first. Aries expect fidelity and loyalty from their mates, and are more than willing to give the same. As long as the relationship is exciting and supportive, the union is bound to be strong.

Taurus
Taurus love is sensual and physical, devoted and steady. A Taurus will settle for no less than absolute loyalty, and likes a relationship that is stable and has a sense of routine. You won't find a Taurus spending time on frivolous affairs, instead they invest in long-term, long-haul relationships. When things get tough, a Taurus tends to be loyal to their commitments.

Gemini
Romantics in search of the perfect love or soul mate, their charismatic and flirty nature allows them to enjoy their affairs, until they believe they have found a supportive and faithful partner who loves to listen. When they do find love, its because these ultra sensitive types, have given the situation much thought.

Cancer
Happiest when they feel needed, Cancer loves to love, and be loved. They have a strong sense of family and tradition, and offer equally strong feelings of acceptance in return, especially when their partner is totally devoted. They can be emotional and sensitive to others or the other way around but it's the price you pay for having a partner who will go to extremes to never let you down. One of the better signs.



Leo
Drama is present in Leo-love. They will fight to the death to protect a loved one, and offer their undying support and loyalty. As long as their egos are fed a healthy diet of romance, praise and devotion, they will make sacrifices to make sure that the one they are committed to can depend on them for happiness and comfort.

Virgo
These sensible and practical people, take the same approach to love and commitment. While a Virgo may wait for years to find love, once they do, their partner tends to be the love of their life. Virgo love is warm and steady, committed and trustworthy. As long as Virgos are treated with care, honesty, and respect, you can expect a strong and steady union for life.

Libra
Love makes the Libra world go round. They thrive on love and romance, and will go to great lengths to avoid hurting the ones they love. Faithful and loyal, when they feel appreciated - Libras expect a partnership to be harmonious. They can be emotionally dependent on their partners, but ask for no more than they are willing to give freely.

Scorpio
Committed and in love, Scorpio can be intensely passionate - and intensely confusing. While they are very exciting, they have a way of hiding their emotions which can cause a bit of confusion. They expect faithfulness and loyalty, and they in return will be deeply connected to their partner. And when they feel secure, they may even let you in on their ever-present secrets.

Sagittarius
Love is an adventure to Sagittarius, and they prefer not to be tied down. Sagittarius needs a partner who can intellectually stimulate them, make them feel secure and keep things exciting. Sagittarius will commit to the right person, but that person has to be secure in knowing that freedom is Sagittarius' first love, and that must be respected for any commitment to be a lasting one.

Capricorn
Capricorn love is an inspiration. While they love deeply and fully, they may not be the most open expressing these details. Any commitments to a Capricorn are expected to be long-term and generally involve the promise of family. They expect loyalty and support from their partner, and prefer to be more dominant than passive in the relationship.

Bar advice. They say opposites attract. The truth is that's really the case in the zodiac love compatibility madness. It's complicated but their way makes people balanced in life.

Strained relationships

Laying the foundation in the beginning is the first step to a successful relationship. Foundations based on stability offer a rewarding, long-lasting relationship, while unstable foundations lead to break-ups. If you can sit down and talk through your problems, this is the best solution and it will save the couple's relationship. Talking is the mark of eliminating problems, while frustration comes from those who don't have the skills to communicate.

Incompatibility can lead to break-ups, thus weighing out your relationship carefully before beginning a relationship can prevent disaster. If you are already involved in a sour relationship, more than likely, you will need to evaluate the compatibilities. You do have the options of working through the incompatibilities or getting out.

Compatibility extends to family history. If you are suffering problems due to family quarrels, the ride gets strenuous. Families that tend to like the person their child is with, is less likely to give you problems. Strained relationships are painful when families butt into their business frequently. Many people who begin relationships and have been with their mate for sometime may find that neither party is compatible. The relationship can still work if the two of you communicate and comprise a plan that both can agree on. Read up about good relationships by buying books that offer a good strategy for the incompatible couples. This is because sometimes one side thinks the partner is not as compatible.

Many times people commit to relationships with the idea that they can change the other person later. This is not good. Either you like whom you meet, or you do not. No one can change another human being, the person must have the desire to change him or her self, and the first step to change is acceptance and then willingness to make the changes. Remember that this person, any person for that matter, is not going to have all the qualities that you desire. Does it mean they're not right for you? One should be sceptical of those who vow to change for you. Often the promises are not met or the person has hidden intentions that could be forced onto you later.

Working toward a strained free relationship is only possible if you're willing to tell yourself that it may not last. You're both discovering each others faults and finesse. The move toward having sex is not a good idea if the person or you, or even at the slightest hint, feels that it not the right time. There may the pressure that you place upon yourself to partake in the sexual act but that makes the physical body and the spiritual separated during intercourse. Does having sex mean that the relationship will be sealed, bonded and inseparably?

If you are a dreamer, you may look at your mate as a fantasy. This is not good either. You lose the benefits by not getting to know the person you have mated with or you wake up from your dream and find that you made a serious mistake. The main focus to keep in mind are communication, spending quality time, stay focused, and lay a good foundation for your relationship. Keep it honest and learn to trust one another with unselfish motives. Selfishness can lead to various problems, including adultery, murder, fornication, theft, and so forth. Thus, selfishness is one of the leading causes of break ups in relationships and marriage.

Sharing plays a large part in love and relationships. When two people share, they are giving something to the other that leaves a lasting feeling of joy and love. Do not count or take stock as to what you gave or did for your partner. It should be given or done without the need to receive anything in return. If both are on this same wave length, well guess what happens? Two people working together without selfishness often builds a relationship on solid ground and often endure through tribulations, sad moments and so forth. Relationships built on solid foundations rarely fall apart when trouble comes their way. Thus, enhance your strained relationship or get out!

Bar advice. Having your ideals is nice but sometimes the person least likely may just turn out to be the person that's really who you need in your life. Don't let your heart be blinded.

Advice about you and your money

Here's a look at what you're like with money in your zodiac characteristics. This may just be a non-scientific way of how you are with money but you'll see that eight out of ten people are just like this. So here's the advice about you and your money.

Aquarius
They tend to take an intelligent approach to the money that comes their way, always setting something aside for the unforeseen future. They don't appreciate money for money's sake, but they do enjoy the happiness it can bring to others. They are generous but conscientious. They care not about being rich or poor and their priority is to enjoy getting by.

Pisces
To Pisces, money comes and money goes. They tend to live simply, yet elegantly. When they have it, they spend it. When they don't, they won't. The Pisces nature doesn't allow them to become consumed with excess or lack, they just adjust to living within their means, whatever that may be.

Aries
For Aries, money represents freedom. And freedom is more important than the things that money can buy. Most Aries enjoy the challenge of making money and treat it like a game. When the mood hits them, they can be avid savers, sometimes crossing the line into being downright cheap. And yet they are capable of shopping sprees that can leave them seriously in the red.

Taurus
They love money. Taurus enjoys the smell of a crisp bill, the rattle of change in a jar. They love to watch balances grow and reinvest dividends received. A Taurus would much rather pay with cash, and if credit must be used, they are likely to pay the balance in full before the bill comes in. While a Taurus may not go without, they tend to think long and hard before they treat themselves to a well earned reward.

Gemini
Gemini's truest appreciation of money is the fact that it can be spent. Gemini likes to collect things. Objects, trinkets, clothing, and credit cards. The sheer act of spending gives Gemini pleasure, often more pleasure than the things that they buy. While a Gemini may not be able to figure out where their money went, they are certain more will come to take its place.

Cancer
They tend to look at money as security. As long as there is money in the bank, tomorrow will be okay. It doesn't matter how much or how little they have, a Cancer will find a way to save. Clipping coupons and bartering for a better deal is the Cancer way of life. A penny earned is a penny that they can bury in a Mason jar in the yard, just in case they ever need it.



Leo
Money in the hands of a Leo is sure to swiftly leave. What Leo wants, Leo gets, and as long as it is spent before it is entered in the checkbook, well, it never really existed. Leo believes that if they need more money, they'll make more money. More often than not, they are right. Leo's like money, but are way more appreciative of the elegance money can buy.

Virgo
They are the accountants of the celestial world. They have every receipt, impeccable records, and budgeting procedures that could correct the financial imbalances of the world. Virgo's tend to invest wisely, always planning for tomorrow. They will save for a vacation even if they have the cash in their pocket. While Virgo is driven by the need for financial security, wealth can be a happy side effect of their original goal.

Libra
Libra is funny when it comes to money. They definitely are gifted when it comes to handling finances, because they love living the good life filled with expensive things they buy to make themselves happy. Their love of luxury makes them excellent with a budget and investments that will pay off in the long run.

Scorpio
To Scorpio, money is power, and achieving power is their personal challenge. Scorpio people can stretch a dime as far as a dollar, and will sacrifice things on the monetary plane in order to achieve their goals. You can never judge a Scorpio's net worth by their appearance, they have the gift of looking as if they have a million bucks, even if their bank account is overdrawn.

Sagittarius
Sagittarius could honestly care less about money. It is only metal, paper or plastic. What matters to them are the experiences money allows them to have. Generous to a fault, a Sagittarius is prone to giving away their last dollar. They are just as likely to pay the rent as they are to rent a private jet to entertain their friends with that month's rent money. It simply depends on their mood.

Capricorn
They are blessed with the ability to make and multiply their money all the way to the bank. While they can be cheap and downright greedy, they can also reach deep into their pockets to help a friend in need. The biggest thrill to a Capricorn, when it comes to their funds, is just knowing they have them and that they're safe and sound.

Bar advice. This analysis doesn't take into account about your Chinese animal zodiac so it can mean that you are not as extreme as what is written here. We are after all individuals.

Relationship advice on what we want.

Why do we sabotage what we really want in our relationships? That's a great question and one we've been living with in our own lives and I'm sure that you've run across it from time to time.

There are many possible reasons why people unconsciously destroy something that's going well. One of the main ways is having the belief that you don't deserve the happiness, the praise, the passion, the good feelings and all that. There seems to be an imaginary ceiling that allows just so much happiness, success, passion or anything else that we say we want in our lives. Why should there be a cap on it? A relationship is giving but remember it's also receiving. Many people are afraid that their relationships won't last or they feel that he or she will leave them anyway so somehow, either consciously or unconsciously, they do something to push the other person away.

We see this a lot when there's fears. Why allow fears such as fear of abandonment either physically or emotionally, beliefs that keep us from having the great relationships and lives that are available to all of us? These fears are for the most part unconscious and we might not even be aware of them. Sometimes it may have been triggered because of failed relationships previously. It can also happen when we see our love ones or friends have bad relationship problems. While we are continually working on this within our own relationships, our partners support is important to ease doubts and fears.

The obvious thing would be to first identify your beliefs and fears that are holding you back from having the relationships and life that you want. What is it that you believe, even on a deep subconscious level? Once you've identified these beliefs and fears, then explore whether you are willing or not to allow them to keep you from having the relationships that you want. Are you willing to change those beliefs? Make a commitment to allow yourself to feel good and to have what you want. A belief is like a habit and if you don't like one that holds you back, you can change it. One at a time.

Understand that chaos and disruption in your life is normal and you should expect it when you challenge old ways of being and take on a new belief system especially one that is empowering. People may be used to you acting in a certain way and they might be uneasy when you begin to change. When or if your life feels overwhelming, take a moment, breathe and center yourself. If you do, you will find a calmness in your chaos and you'll be able to move forward from fear to joy.

In every relationship that you have, start being as conscious as possible in all ways. Consider whether your words and actions will build the relationship and take it higher or weaken and possibly destroy it. Take some time to figure out if and how you sabotage yourself from having the relationships and life that you want. If you do, your life will just get better. We sensible and reasonable with others as well. Your partner may not have the same fears or doubts and could see it as if you don't have the same interest as he or she does. This could cause relationship tensions. Clear the mind so you can be open to welcome the goodness of what is happening with you and your partner. Let there be bliss.

Bar advice. Communication with your partner is important so they understand you and not feel there is a problem in the relationship or themselves.

Topic Of Sex

I meet up with a total sexy stranger online yesterday. We started talking about all sorts of stuff from her work, which is modelling, to relationship advice, her outfits she wears at modeling shows, photo shoots and of course we headed to the topic of sex. She's half my age yet she was comfortable(being online) talking about those things but did get her a little shy at times when persisting for certain answers.

Anyway this is one hot babe who had all these great photos of herself and I could see them flashing on MSN messenger that we were chatting on. They just kept coming up one after another. A load of it and was either in sexy bikini, lingerie or car show outfits. There was even a Coppertone advertisement with two other girls in the sun. I was just blow away by her. Remember she can't see me as we weren't on cam.

As we got into all sorts of discussions, she revealed that she only ever had one boyfriend but he dumped here sometime after several occasions when they were intimate. She lost her virginity to him. Sadly, and it's more often than not, lots of guys do and say anything to get the girl. What comes after is immaterial to them. He went for it, he scored and now he cheers. Who cries after? It's always the girl. This girl was just seventeen at the time. She also included a story(after the boyfriend) about a masseuse that came over to massage her friends but she ended up having sex with him. She said to me, "I was really stupid back then."

As we kept going on about everything on the topic of sex, I started to realize that she wasn't all that bright about the matter. I asked if she knew or had done certain things and her answer was in the negative. That's when I felt that she was just pretending to be knowledgeable about things like intercourse, cunnilingus, fellatio, sexual positions and even a subject that she brought up. Anal sex!

I gave comments about the sexy pictures she had. She liked it and I told her which ones I thought were the best. She was really interested in hearing my opinion that after I told her I would have loved to have seen what her tits would have looked like, she took a digital shot of her tits to show me. She told to keep it to myself. When I saw it, and boy was it a good set, I was blown away. However, naughty me asked for another one saying that the shot was taken too quickly and blurred. She refused but after some coaxing she agreed. With all the sweet words I used, I got her to basically take off all her clothes and snap more. I finally got four but when I asked for a shot of her Virgina, she drew the line. More coaxing almost did the trick but it never materialized.

Her words about being "stupid" echoed in my head. I know she wasn't but a stranger just got to see her naked. The power of the Internet in real time. I felt she was just more curious then naive when I asked her, and she agreed, that she was not sure about her body and awarkward sensations she feels at times. She said parts of her was screaming for someone to really show her what it was like to be made love to as a woman. I of course volunteered myself. She declined at first, so should a young lady, but I reminded her that she had just let me see naked pictures of her. At this point I just want to add that she has one of the hottest looking bodies that I've seen in a long time especially breast with nipples that was howling at the moon. Not joking about it! Call me whatever you want but I couldn't pass up this beautiful creature after seeing her naked. Sorry I can't show her naked picture here for all to admire.

We were up to the point of me asking her for her address to "party" with her. She wanted me to describe the things I was going to do to her. I guess she must have also been turned on. Then, of all things, she asked if I was intending to bring someone along, have anal sex with her and even told me that I couldn't cum inside her but only in her mouth. How much more descriptive can you get? These were her little inklings not mine. As it got till morning she decided to give it more time and come back to the messenger chat another time so we could get to know each other better. Why not? I almost got an album at this point of time. I can't wait.

Bar advice. I keep telling people that sometimes you never know what to expect and here's the proof. Sure it's a little superficial but I had it handed to me on a silver platter . Will see how far I will be able to go with her.

What to do on the second date?

We seem to focus a lot on the "first dates". All the jitters and what it takes to make a good impression. What if you do? You're bound to be want a second date or more, otherwise what was it all for? This time, go pick her up. Preferably, try to get a little sexy love at the door to break the ice. At least give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. She’ll think you’re happy to see her. They usually let you, so go for it. It gets the guy a little confidence to move toward more physical contact later, if possible.

What to do on the second date? You can do whatever you want for the evening. Take her to a bar then dancing. Maybe you could also take her to a bar and then dinner if you want. Avoid movies at all cost, they tend to put you both to sleep. Movies are for dates when you are together for a long time and it's something you both want to watch. Not when trying to get a persons intention. You could also cook dinner for her at your house or plan a certain thing that you want to do together or show her. In any case if your goal is to get her back to your place, or hers if she wants, don’t wait until you are ready to go home. Instead, ask early. Give an indication that you want some private time with them. Maybe they may like to share a bottle of wine or just come over to hang out a little and relax in each others company.

Once on your turf, they can be putty in your hands. An advanced technique for guys(hope I'm not giving anything away) guaranteed to speed up your time is quite simple. After some time when you’re making out on the couch or wherever with a girl, try telling her(with a strait face) that you never sleep with a women unless you've been dating them for at least a month. Then shut up! Do anything else for a few minutes. This will process through her mind for a while and then she’ll become the aggressor. Women love a challenge. Nine out of ten times she’ll jump your bones that night. She will want to be that "special" someone that can manipulate your actions than any other woman.

Bar advice. Some women prefer to take you to their place or somewhere else because they may not be comfortable being in your domain with such a short time knowing you. At this stage of a relationship, follow her lead.

Advice on email flirting

Online dating gives you the opportunity to meet singles out there through the use of the Internet. However, you can also use another tool with people that you already know, or don't, and it's the email service. Emails that you exchange is a vital feature of online dating sites. Also for office or personal usage. Through emails, you could get to know more about someone or you could even flirt. An email can be very useful to flirt with anyone around who is an online junkie or is tied to the desk because of work. Here's advice from on how to effectively connect with anyone through email.

How can you effectively flirt using email? Flirting through emails is necessary at the beginning of your correspondence with single people. Flirting is the first step before you could meet face to face, unless you already know them, and that is what online dating subscribers, colleagues or friends are aiming for. Just like regular flirting, it all depends on your chemistry with the person. Even if you're bereft of body languages to use, with online chemistry, flirting may still fail.

Flirting is very crucial because most of the time, if not properly done, it sends misunderstood messages. One example is flirting using "about the past" messages. If you think that saying that you understand things like these because you experienced them beforehand, then you're wrong. This includes past girlfriends, relationships or break-ups. This will only make your online date uncomfortable. That's not a good way to flirt. Trying to flirt with someone in the office or some business contact will probably get you blocked.

You should also be careful about your grammar when flirting using emails. Women are easily turned off by men who don't know how to express themselves right in print. Men don't like having to read over what a woman has written as they already find it hard to understand them as it is. Wrong grammar and misspellings translate disasters. Like those cases where you interchange "your" with "you're"? Well make sure you proofread your messages before you actually send them. We're all busy and sometimes it's forgivable but we shouldn't have to try understanding what you write since it may already be hard just trying to understand you itself.

What you should do is write messages that stimulate the interest of your partner. One example is sending her humorous emails. You should use funny stories to your advantage but make sure not to go overboard. You should remember that you're actually flirting so insert harmless teases and ask them flirtatious questions to generate a response. There are a lot of people that like the online flirting emails especially if in the office because it gives them a chance to get away from routine. Also, just keep your emails short and simple. Long emails tend to bore people so just keep them light and readable. This way, your message will be clearly sent and not have the danger of being lost after the 100th paragraph. If you know what I mean. Do remember too that people have to work as well.

You could also try giving compliments through email. Show sincerity. This tells people that even though you are funny and playful, you also have a sensitive side. This will make them want to see you in person more. Sending an ecard can also add a touch of gift appreciation. It won't cost you any real money so why not? If you've been emailing someone at work, for example, than slowly make request about having some drinks after or maybe dinner. Even if things start to go well and you've become a couple, emails are like little reminders that you're thinking about that person. It's like you dropped by to say "hello". It shows your interest. The recipient will have a smile on their face.

Don't send out anyting on weekends. Why? Well, they'll think you're at home all the time. No real social life after work hours. May find it claustrophobic to have to answer emails all the time from you, including weekends. Only send something if it's like a surprise for the beginning of the work week or something you know they'll really like.

So there, my advice on email flirting is just make sure that your emails are short, funny and is free of any emotional anecdotes. Email flirting, like in actuality, still takes a lot of practice so don't be afraid to send messages and gauge the different reactions that you get. If you do it right, you'll be an expert at online flirting in no time.

Bar advice. Messenger services like Yahoo or MSN comes at a later stage. Remember that you can correct emails before you send it out but messenger service is in 'real time'. Don't make a mistake and say the wrong thing and blow your chances.

Advice for guys on talking to ladies.

Guys, think a moment about what turns you on? Chances are, you're thinking to yourself about her legs, breast size or something else like that. That's alright, your thinking being that shallow is normal. It's not that men are dogs, it's that men are "visual". For most men, it's what we see in front of us that triggers attraction. It's not the be all and end all, but it dominates our first impressions.

Question is, how often do you think about what turns a woman on? You may be fooled by listening to ladies occasionally hooting at cute butts, saying something about a hot guy or swooning at Brad Pitt. Don't be! The way you strut plays a vital role. Women are much more in tune to body language, eye contact and non verbal communications, and that's where their buttons are pushed. Sure, a handsome man with a good body is attractive to women but he won't necessarily create attraction with their deeper level of wants. Attraction is created by style and attitude, by what women often call charm. If you don't look like Brad Pitt, good, because it can be learned. Just as BODY LANGUAGE trumps BODY SHAPE in attracting women, your VOICE will trump over your WORDS.

Guys trying to learn how to be more successful with women, turn to pick-up lines. Men seem to think the "right words" will move a girl's heart. Maybe it's because we've seen too many movies and you think you'll be able to get her just as easy as what you see on screen. Maybe we just can't get the difference between the jokes we tell, the things we said and what really works. If at some point you've thought that pick-up lines were the key to breaking the ice with a woman, you may be forgiven. Let's talk about what does work.

It doesn't really matter what words you use. You could have the best pick-up line in the world and it may fail but if you deliver your words well, it doesn't really matter what you say. Controlling your voice the right way will have a positive affect on many aspects of your life, but right now, we care about how it affects women. There are ways of speaking in a commanding, confident way that women find sexy and attractive. The easiest one is volume. Speak clearly and loudly doesn't mean you should yell at a woman. Your volume has to come naturally and should be the sort of thing that fills a room with your confidence. When you speak quietly, it communicates that you don't believe what you say has worth. That's the last thing you want. Don't stumble over words, be clear so you sound confident. Even hypnotic.

Another thing is speaking with confidence. When talking to ladies be a little less nervous. Women like a confident guy. She feels safer with him. She feels he's more worldly, more open, a better communicator and the fact that he can woo her makes her think you won't be an embarrassment in front of colleagues and friends of hers when introduced. She also feels that you'll be on par to communicate with her if it blossoms into a loving relationship further down the road.

Another thing, while in conversation, is be a little playful. Just like British comedies, throw in words with underline meanings. If she is on the same wave length as you she will pick them up on her radar. You can actually get a point across without never having said the actual words. Said something else and meant something completely different. The flirtatious word game is what you're trying to achieve here. The main thing is that she got the point and she may even start to get into this word playing game with you. The fact is, neither guy nor girl will really say what's on their mind in the early stages of getting to know each other. So, this lets them flirt openly but holds the dignity and respect of the lady's esteem. Now, just remember all this advice and start talking.

Bar advice. Breath deeply and calm yourself. when you know you're calm, that calm will quickly translate into COOL Someone in control of situations, a leader. An alpha male the girls want to be with.

Relationship advice on dating

We don’t, really, all fall in “love at first sight.” No, most of us find ourselves surfing through the dating pool during at least one point in our lives, and often during multiple points.

It is, of course, completely normal to feel apprehensive before a date, but a few butterflies in your stomach and sweaty palms aside, your attitude and beliefs about the date could actually form its outcome. Think about it.

Here’s how it works. The more you hold on to fears, regrets or assumptions such as that the date will be lousy or you’re sure the person isn't right for you anyway, the more those things will come true. So if you meet your date with your arms full of your emotional baggage from your past relationships, well your date will probably start carrying some of it for you and your greatest fears will come true. You will not have found your prince or princess. Due to pass relationships or dates, you tend to lay some form of blame or any shortcomings on the new person. Sometimes you measure the person to the former partner that you had which tends to leave you with a yardstick that's too great because it can only be measured in your heart.

The events and feelings in your last relationship do not determine those in your next one unless you hold on and believe they will. So if you have a date planned right now, and you’re worrying about it, analyzing it and coming up with multiple reasons why it’s not right for you, your self-doubt and fears about dating may be sabotaging your personal life. Stop adding pressure to yourself and leave the gate open for something better to come your way. In contrast, if you keep an open mind and release your past emotional baggage, such as your fears of being rejected or betrayed, you will stop the cycle. You will stop attracting more of that into your life.

Here's some relationship advice on dating in the present. You should let go of wanting to change what was and then hold in your mind what it is that you would like to have. Let go of the thoughts and feelings that say you cannot or should not have. Also, review your past relationships and figure out what worked best, then allow yourself to be open to more of that and simply get back out there and keep letting go. You may be surprised what can magically appear in your life.

You can find out everything you need to know about letting go by learning that relationships need lots of work. This is the tool used by hundreds of thousands of people to master their emotions, thereby mastering their actions, their thoughts, and their life. You can master yours too if you try to see that you have to deal with yourself first. Your self destructive thoughts, ways, communication, shallowness, mindset and such transgress outwards and makes your relationships strained and unpleasant.

So set your sights high on working things out within yourself and channeling that towards your dates. Imagine the date you’d love to have, and the person you’d love to have it with. Be adventurous and allow someone and something new to happen to you. Change can be a good thing. When you’re open to releasing, you’ll be amazed at what, and who, is attracted into your life. Keep telling yourself the good news will be coming soon, carrying flowers.

Bar advice. Standing in front of the mirror and talking to yourself about the reasons why you're not with anyone actually helps. It's a therapy of self.

Stay in the present

Are you familiar with the expression "to live in the moment?" This is the ability to be fully present and aware of yourself and your surroundings as you live each moment. Achieving such a state requires observation, appreciation, patience, quiet, and the ability to turn off the clock and put away the calendar.

While most of us don't experience such times frequently, this is when we feel the most alive. In theory, being present involves learning how to pay attention, and the process of getting there is far easier than you might think. Relationship issues can also be solved this way and you'll find it much easier in your life. There are a few simple things you can do right now to help you stay in the present and pay attention to your life experience in a very positive way.

Start by setting a few quiet minutes aside each day to close your eyes and take stock of what you are feeling, no matter how good or bad those feelings may be. Don't judge your feelings, just allow yourself to become aware of the emotions behind them. Reflecting, if any, on where it involves in your relationship, your life and what you can do to make things better.

Next, send your attention outward and become aware of things around you. Notice if you feel warm or cold, what your clothing feels like against your skin, the feeling of the air moving in and out of your lungs. Let the sounds around you filter through you and notice the underlying noises that you may have been tuning out. Then, open your eyes and notice the colors and sights around you in this same subtle, attentive way. By the time you are halfway through this little exercise, you may be surprised at how much you actually notice about your internal and external presence. If you try this, you will probably find that "paying attention" will take on a whole new meaning, and it will be a very nice one at that.

Finding the source of the 'inner' you and staying in the present helps you to see clearly where and what your relationship is all about. What make you happy in it? Where you are headed in it? Most of all, is everything working well in your life?

I hope that you can take some time to practice living in the moment and to stay in the present. I'm sure that it will change your experience in "now" time.

Women in a club

Clubs are my favorite, and I like spending time in bars. I know many guys will see those environments as having the highest concentration of available women and for a busy life it does solve a convenience issue. They're all gathered there as well because they'e on the hunt as well. Women enjoy attention, they crave it, they love the chase from men and it's the primary reason they go to clubs. They don't go to clubs with the same mindset as guys. It's hard to see that on the surface, but it's true. Now for some targeted advice for guys.

Sure, there's always the ones that were dragged there by office friends to celebrate a birthday or something but that's the exception. Here is the singles scene on things. When you meet women in a club and hit it off right away, you can take things in one of two directions. You can either go for a one night stand or angle to follow through with meeting her outside the club at a later time, on another day. Usually, in fact nearly all of the time, women will never go to clubs alone, they will go with friends, people they know, other girls, and even other guys. So even if they're there with the same mindset as you, to meet a potential boy friend, new interesting people or get laid, they still have the social pressure of their friends to consider. That social pressure weighs on their heads in ways that men will never know, and it keeps them from acting in ways that their friends might see as being distinctly separate from merely "garnering or enjoying attention" and more like "being easy", or being seen as a "slut".

That means a woman will dirty dance, be grabby, flirt, make out, and show all indications and signs that she's ready and willing to have sex and then abruptly stop that behavior or act evasive at the end of the night when the lights go on and the club is closing up. In those moments of your perceived self-studliness, you may think everything is on the right track and all you need to do is leave with her and you'll be rewarded with a night of animalistic 'boom boom'. Then the axe drops and it feels like you have a wall two feet thick to bust through to take things further. You got to remember she has to have some modesty in front of people.

Does it mean she was just faking interest the whole time? No, but if your goal is to take things further that night, you can't presume that you can just walk out the door with her as the only remaining effort. When you are making out with her, you should also be assessing what the deal is with her friends and help her to help you provide a context that allows you to end up with her at the end of the night.It could be that her friends have plans for somewhere to go after leaving the club, or she is responsible for driving someone home or one or more of her friends would judge her uncomfortably if she simply left with an unknown guy.

If you get hot and heavy with a woman in a club, then you are really only leaving one option on the table for yourself. Sleeping with her that night. If you don't follow through that night, it's highly unlikely you will ever be able to hook up with her any other time in the future. So, to make it work, you need to understand the context of what is going on with her peers so that you can work yourself into that context innocuously and eventually work your way towards finding a legitimate area of isolation for you and her where sex can happen, if ever. It could be that you tag along to an after party with them, invite them all to your place, take the same cab or otherwise get some or most of those friends to separate out on their own with an implied consent that they approve of you hanging with her. It's possible, but it's a lot of tricky work, and if it flops then you've pretty much lost her as an option and it's the end of the night with no more options. So, ask yourself, does that kind of success make sense?

In those situations, the very thing that is causing you to believe that you're on your way to success is actually premature. It sure feels good and boosts your ego, but you're not going to be satisfied with that at the end of the night, where as most women can be. By doing it that way you will start from scratch again another night with another girl. If that's what you're after, that's fine. Just be prepared to get really good at the game of follow through as the only way to bed your focus of desire because when you get hot and heavy with a woman in a club, the mood will change drastically if you try to follow through later on another day after the night and her thoughts normalize. She will think twice, hesitate, rationalize her way out of it. She will feel objectified and cause herself to believe that the only reason you want to meet with her is because you perceive her as "easy" and you just want to sleep with her. It could be true and that could be all you do want but if that's what she is inspired to think, then it will never happen for you.

If, instead, you want to do the 'boom boom' and maintain her as an option for more than just one night, you have to resist extreme physical escalation within the club. You have to basically still relay interest but become a literal "tease" whenever she tries to obtain that kind of physical attention from you. Wait until you've left the club, and you're somewhere else or following through at a later time or day to escalate physically. Maintaining that kind of patience may feel like you are not getting immediate success but it will result in a much more fulfilling time because you can build such interest with multiple women in one night. Follow through with all of them, and it only takes one success from that group to make it worthwhile, and that success is more likely to provide you repeat satisfaction rather than a one night stand.

That kind of patience also offers you the additional opportunity that even if you don't achieve the horizontal mambo with some of the women you follow up with outside the club, you can still maintain a context of befriending them and get introduced to their friends and increase your social circles, which adds additional opportunities to meet many more women. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

Bar advice. The thrill of the chase is also felt by the women. Guys, do the chase but don't chase her away.

Relationship advice on break ups

After a breakup, people often take time to reflect on the dynamics of their relationship. What went wrong and why, as well as what went right. It's not uncommon for ex-partners to begin to believe the relationship is salvageable and could potentially blossom again. No one can guarantee that rekindling a relationship with an ex will work out, but there are steps you can take to greatly increase the chances. So lets see if you can increase you chances.

Ask yourself if there's still love between you and your ex? If you are certain that you're still in love and he or she still loves you, then you could try to reestablish a successful relationship. If you aren't sure whether or not you still love one another, then you probably need to take more time until you are certain. It has to work both ways, so talk to your partner about it and be careful not to confuse love with the desire for companionship and comfort. Normally after a break up you feel out of sync from the world because of the routine you had when in a relationship.

You got to overcome doubt. One or both parties already gave up on the relationship once, so what makes you think you can make it work this time around? This is the doubt you will have. Doubt can undermine your efforts. Consider the polarities. Faith on one end, and doubt on the other. If you have decided to get back together, you have faith but inevitably, there will also be doubt. The first place to start is to recognize doubt will be there. Just being aware of this will help you find the strength to let doubt subside and not rule you. This, by the way, will be felt on both sides and is also normal.

How do you face the issues? One of the most important factors in getting back together is a willingness to face the issues honestly, together and individually. The things that led you to breakup in the first place. Since it's almost impossible to change the other person, a good place to start is with you. Ask yourself how you can take responsibility for your part in the breakup. Are there ways that you could act or react differently to a problem? What part of the relationship which was not working out was your responsibility? How can you change to make your ex see that you want he relationship to work. See how it's more about you than your ex? Make a list and then talk with your partner about your part in the problem. Take responsibility and chances are they will be forthcoming with their own shortcomings.

Staying committed to the relationship is hard work. Taking the responsibility for your part in the problems is part of the healing. Reestablishing a strong foundation for the relationship comes with making a commitment to work on these problems one at a time. This will take time, and results will be slow to come, so remain consistent and persistent. Both need to commit to making changes. If you find yourselves getting stuck, consider seeking professional assistance such as couples counseling. When negotiating what needs to change in a relationship, do your best to avoid criticism and blame. Instead, focus on what your responsibility is and make sure your partner is on board with you. The worse thing is when one does not see that they are part of the problem when the relationship is on the rocks.

Bar advice. Taking someone for granted is one of the downfalls of any relationships. Ensure that the relationship has committed conversations as often as possible.

How not to look old?

There are plenty of fashion books and magazines on the market but very few are specifically geared towards the over forty set. Today's aging baby boomer population is looking better and younger than ever and authors are beginning to take notice.

Forget about getting older gracefully. This is the beauty and style bible every woman's been waiting for. This book is the first ever cheat sheet of to-do's and fast fixes that pays off big time. All from Charla Krupp and her friends. The best hair pros, makeup artists, designers, dermatologists, cosmetic dentists and personal shoppers in the biz. Packed with eye opening details on hair color, brows, lipstick, wrinkle erasers, jeans, shapewear, jewelry, heels, and more, the book speaks to every woman from low maintenance types who don't want to spend a fortune or tons of time on her looks to high maintenance women who believe in looking fabulous at any price.

There's also 'too old' versus 'just right', before and after photos, celebrity examples of good and bad style, shopping lists of Charla's brilliant buys in fashion and beauty products and more. 'How not to look old' covers it all. Style expert Charla Krupp dishes out her secrets in this "ultimate" to-do list for looking hip and fabulous no matter what your age.

Bar advice. One key element that I find helps, is to think youthfully as well. Fitting into society is one thing but living out who you truly are helps as well.

Playing the confession game

Playing this confession game can be between you and your partner. Does not matter what the gender or sexual preference is because both can answer the questions. It's a sort of truth or dare type game. however this is a lot more personal and it leads to arousal if played in the bedroom. It can also be played in a group if you're having that sort of fun. These were meant for the heterosexual singles. Feel free to add you own questions to the game.

Questions:
First time I heard about sex, I was...
My first experience with self stimulation was...
The farthest I have ever gone in a parked car was...
The thought of watching women in the nude makes me...
When someone tells me a dirty joke, it usually makes me...
The first time I had an orgasm or cum, I thought I was....
The sexiest person I ever shared a bed with was...
The worst thing I ever did to not make love was...
The excuse I most often hear for not making love is...
My favorite method of picking up someone is...
The most I have ever flirted with a colleague was...
I am dressed the hottest is when I am wearing...
If I ever surprised my partner in the act of self-stimulation, I would probably...
To describe my "sexual equipment" in one word it would have to be...
The thought of making love to two others at the same time really makes me...
To estimate how often I fantasize about making love to a stranger, would be...
If my friends all decided to skinny dip, I would probably...
If, on a first date the subject of birth control came up, I would...
If on a cruise and I discovered the passengers were nudists, I would probably....
If my brother/sister announced his homosexuality, I would probably...
If I saw my best friend moonlighting as a male/female stripper, I would probably...
The most exciting place I have ever made love was...
If opening a package addressed to my partner and contained sex toys, I would...
If someone much younger asked me to teach everything I know about sex, I would...
When it comes to making love on a water bed, my experience has been....
If my lover wanted to video tape our love-making, I would probably...
When it comes to making sensual noises during sex, I consider myself...
The one thing about sex that I wish I knew when I was younger is...
I would consider going to a nude beach if...
If I found my partner in bed with a member of the same sex I would probably...
The last person in the world I would make love to is...
My favourite sexual position is...
If I have a sexual fetish, it would have to be...
When it comes to making love on the first date, it has always been my policy to...
My experience with an obscene phone call was...
The time I thought I needed a sex therapist was...
The relative I would most like to have sex with, if we were not related, would be...
The thought of making love to a virgin makes me...
The sexual technique that I am weakest at is...
The sexual technique that I am best at is...
The part of my body that responds most to fondling is...
The part I most like to be touched at is...
What I like someone to do to me sexually but there not say is...
You would allow someone to see you making love secretly if...
I hate a tongue in/at my...
My ultimate fantasy about sex in a public place is...
The last sexual request I was asked was...
While making love I fantasize about...
I would make love with my colleague only if...
Last time someone tried to seduce me was...
The one thing I hate about sex is...
The thing I dislike about my partners sexual method is...
The position I prefer most when making love is...
I need sex a lot because I feel...
The one thing that my partner doesn't know about my secret fetish is...
The number of times I am physically capable of making love is...
The truth is I like sex a lot because of...

These are many examples of questions that you can add to the game. Place them in a hat and start pulling them out. There's no real right or wrong answers here. Just having fun and laughing at them will bring sexual stimulation. This can be played with your partner or a total stranger. The answers will be almost different with everyone. Try it.

Bar advice. Remember, if you're playing this the first time with your partner, take note of some of the answers because you can help make their needs, fantasies or desires come true. You'll be having the best time after that if you...

Phone sex

Now this is quite common in many countries that have the payment method where people call in to listen to someone tell them some fatasy and it "get's them off" but when normal people have phone sex; well, it can become a disaster.

There's some of us that can pull it off but many are just not sure what to say or how to turn on someone else if their not in their presence. The phone is a great tool but what do you do when faced with the fact that now your partner is going to sense that you got no sexual imagination or fantasies. It is difficult for some to express something mentally rather than pshysically especially with sex. Not uncommon.


Bar advice. This may not be for everyone but it can highten the sexual relationship of people that are in anticipation of the next time they make love.

Getting her alone

When in any social setting such as a club or bar, you'll want to separate the girl you like from her friends. Once she's separated from her friends, it's just a matter of building a bond and connection with her but how many times have you had a woman pulled away from you in a club by one of these friends? How many times have her friends interrupted your conversation and pulled her away with the "we're going to the bathroom" routine? How many times have you seen a friend barge in between and say,"She's my girlfriend", and leaves with the woman you want?

How many times have your intentions been thwarted by the dreaded,"My friends want to leave?" and the last thing you see is her looking back at you with a face that says, "Sorry! I like you but I have no choice but to leave!" You see, women are not as in control of their lives as you might think. Women, especially beautiful women, rely on their social network of friends and family to protect, comfort, and support them. They seek advise on all matters when in doubt. A woman's social network of people she's with is a influence on her, even if it limits her choices in terms of who she can date, have sex with, or even talk to. On top of that, beautiful women hardly go out alone. They tend to go out in groups of two or three to prevent each other from the constant and never ending onslaught of guys trying to get into their pants thus removing her from her friends is a must.

The irony is that if you approach women, they say their looking for a guy to meet. However, the social dynamics of her peer group control her choices. So how do you take a woman away from her friends so that you can bond and connect with her? After all, you can't just steal her. The problem is two fold. Her friends and her. Her friends might become jealous of all the attention she gets from you. They may be protecting her from being hurt after her last relationship issues. They might be possessive of her. They might be dealing with their own issues with guys that may have hurt them in the past. They may have lesbian desires that even the woman doesn't know about. Whatever the case is with her friends, understand that they're often in protection mode. Protecting the woman you desire from winding up with the wrong kind of guy, again possibly.

On the other hand, she's all caught up in thinking,"What do my friends think?". "What will they say if they see me with him?". "What if they think I'm a slut!?". You can neutralize these issues by including her friends in the conversation and getting them to like you. Start off with more coversation with them. Don't be afraid to ignore the girl you like a little and pay more attention to entertaining and getting along with her friends. This alone will both satisfy the friends desire for attention that they hardly get because their pretty friend is usually the one in the spotlight and also increase her liking you by getting her a little jealous of her friends taking some of the attention away.

Use stories, techniques, and routines to come across as successful, intelligent, fun and a nice guy to her friends. If her friends think you're a cool guy, they will not stand in your way when you want to spend some time with the girl you like alone. They are, without even realizing it, giving you their acceptance, approval, and permission. Unknowingly but willingly. Sometimes, her friends will even do the hooking up for you. They'll start telling you all about her. The woman you're seducing will see her friends now like you, so her normal thought pattern change to thoughts like, "I want to be associated with a successful, intelligent,and funny guy like him". "Look how my friends pay attention to him, laugh with him, and like him". "I better take him away from them before they get any ideas". "He's mine!"

See the difference it makes when you make her friends comfortable? Now you can safely get her friends permission to talk with her privately without worry about being cock blocked. Say to the girl's friends, "Hey, we seem to get along pretty well, do you guys mind if we go over there to talk?" They'll all agree and even urge her. Now bring her to a quiet corner and sit down with her alone. Now you can relax, lay back, and concentrate on getting to know the girl more intimately. Importantly, this time you used the power of her friend's influence over her to further your goals. There's no need to waste anymore time starving in the dating wasteland.

Bar advice. It may get a bit tricky with men friends around than with all women friends but it can still work provided there's no other guy that's interested in her or they're trying but not succeeding.

Prevention with Food

Your choice of food reflects your whole well being. Unhealthy eating habits could cause serious disease and illness. The kind of food that provides optimum nutrition is one of the best ways to achieve good health. In fact, scientists are discovering that certain foods actually protect against disease and are an important source for your health.

Carrots and broccoli, for example, contain beta-carotene which appear to be able to help the immune system destroy cancer cells. You can prevent high blood pressure and heart disease by adopting a healthy lifestyle. These steps include maintaining a healthy weight, being physically active, a healthy eating plan that emphasizes fruits, vegetables, and low fat dairy foods, choosing and preparing foods with less salt and sodium, and if you drink alcoholic beverages, drinking in moderation. We don't want to cramp your style. Take Whiskies with club soda or water. Their less fattening. Also, try to avoid too much beer and ales. Drink wines for longer life.

Your sex life is also effected with what you eat or don't. Relationships are tensioned when people are too tired, have loss of sex drive, aging, stressed out, exhausted and other forms of lack of knowledge about these reasons. Here's some foods that help.

Prevention with Food

Black, Blue, Raspberry, Strawberries: antioxidant, prevent arterial disease, cholesterol
Apples: antioxidant, prevent cardiovascular disease.
Lemons: purifying , nourishing, stimulating digestion, reducing toxins
Dates and Figs: high fibers, increase energy, help build tissues
Almonds: increase energy and prevent cancer and heart disease
Beans: Legumes: stimulating digestion, high fiber
Garlic: used for high blood pressure and cholesterol, sore throats, sex drive
Ginger: prevent cancer, reducing cholesterol, blood-thinning, prevent heart disease, anorexia, vomiting
Yogurt and Honey: benefits for lungs and heart
Seeds: digestive, removing toxins
Soy: reduce effects of menopause, prevent heart disease, colon cancer, extra protein
Beets: prevent cancer, maintain normal blood pressure
Carrots: prevent cancer, digestive aid, eliminates flatulence
Melons, Kiwi: antioxidant, high Vitamin C
Oranges and Grapefruits: prevent cancer, high Vitamin C, contain fibers
Peaches, Pears, Plumes: antioxidant, improve vitality, stimulating bowel
Asparagus: blood cleaning, prevent kidney disease, high fiber
Oats: strengthens nervous system, removes cholesterol, prevent heart disease
Corn: fight kidney disease, promote tees, overcome sexual weakness, improve appetite
Broccoli: prevent cancer and heart disease, high Vitamin C, high fiber, fat burner
Cabbage, Cauliflower: rich in collagen, antioxidant, prevent cancer
Leafy green, spinach: high fiber, prevent heart disease, source of Vitamin A,C
Green Tea: prevent cancer and heart disease, fight dental cavities, antioxidant

Obviously we can go down a longer list to more stuff that you can eat as a form of prevention with food but consulting a doctor is best if you're having problems of any specific areas.

Bar advice. Moderation of food intake, exercise, lots of water and sleep is probably the best thing you can do for yourself. If in a relationship, set that as a constant in your lives together.

Internet marketing EXPLAINED!

Here you get the latest product to hit the Internet. How would you like to be ahead just like Google or You Tube when they first came out. If you knew how big they could get, surely you too would have jumped on board. Well, here's your chance. Armand Morin has been in the forefront of Internet Marketing and has made over 15 million dollars as of today. He now shares all what he does in these training videos that will show you exactly how it's done. You also earn money from the affiliate program that's inside.

Bar advice. I advise you to jump on board now to make 2008 bring you financial freedom.

Create goals

Do you have a vision in mind of how you want your life to be, as well as a clear plan on how to get there? It is surprising how many times when people are asked this question, only to discover that they are simply wandering along just letting life happen to them, all the while wishing that their dreams would come true.

This is what you need. Why should we sit back, waiting for life to happen as it will, when we have the power to set our own goals and the energy and desire to make our dreams a reality? Setting goals puts you squarely in charge of your own life and that is a very desirable situation. That is why I'm sharing a few simple tricks I have found helpful in making "goal setting" even easier and more successful.

The physical act of writing a goal on paper helps to anchor it in your mind, so write your goals down every day, and make certain that you keep your goal centered on you and not someone else.

Be sure to state your goal in positive terms, as positive statements draw positive things your way. For example, "I am always on time" is preferable to "I am never late."

Our subconscious only understands present time. So, if you create goals that are set in the future, your subconscious will keep those goals in the future. For this reason, it is best to always write your goals as if they were already happening or had already happened.

State your goals clearly and precisely so that the Universe and your subconscious know exactly what you want. Using strong words that evoke emotion and command action helps to call forth the energy needed to move forward.

Relationship goals can be achieved the same way. Work in out on paper. Apply what you know, read about or learnt to get things going your way. Open yourself up to new things and people. Relationships are tricky in itself. You don't need the universe to block you as well as you blocking yourself.

Now, most importantly, when you write down your goals, imagine yourself already being, doing, or having the things that you are dreaming about. This will further activate and imprint your goals on your subconscious. I hope that these tips will help to make your dreams a reality. You can achieve the goals you set for yourself.

Bar advice. Never give up. The reality of what you want can be achieved if you just believe it will happen and put in the effort.

Verbal abuse

A guy that lives around my neighbourhood is always making his wife feel like shit. He always has some form of verbal abuse toward her. They can be in a coffee shop and he'll be talking loudly and putting her down so others can hear. In the shops buying things and he'll raise his voice to make it seem like she's either spending too much of his money again or he'll make her look stupid like she doesn't know which brand item to buy. He's never embarrassed that everyone will be looking and continues till they reach home or till he's satisfied.

People like this may or may not know that they abuse their partners and it can be classified as a medical problem but I believe that it starts from young. How you were raised? What your parents, family members or teachers thought you and how you were disciplined.

These are people that want to be in a superior position at all times and make sure that everyone knows that they are the head of the household. They feel that if they allow anyone to talk back, interrupt them, debate or even tell them off; they'll be disrespected. They cannot accept this and thus will rule their domain and all in it with an iron fist. The relationship to them is something sealed and cannot be broken and they believe this permits them to do as they please. Say as the please. Ridicule and embarrass as they please.

There are also those that abuse with physical violence. Most of the time the violence will be inside the home as they don't want others to see it and there will not be any proof if the law is called. Verbal abuse in and outside the home tends to be at all times as it is not against the law. The verbal abuse can sometimes be so demeaning or highly embarrassing that the woman knows not where to face when she's in public. Every direction she turns will have a face staring back at her but none able to rescue. What does she do? Only to look downwards to the ground but that normally entails the abuser to get more angry and abusive because he wants her to be embarrassed. He wants her face to be seen by others. He just wants to "put her in her place" for no rhyme or reason whatsoever.

He flaunts his "power" over her and he also wants others to see it. When he's alone and in public, he's "Mr nice guy" with everyone. The worst thing is that everyone thinks he is since they have not seen his abuse or any of that behavior. They will accept him as someone that's normal in society. Question is, why can he not be like this towards his partner? Lots of times this abuse also extends toward the children and he uses them to inflict harm onto his wife more so because the tendency is she will be protecting them against any abuse.

We also should look at women that abuse their husbands. It's a true fact. Although there are far fewer cases but it does exist. Laugh if you like but there are women out there that make their husbands look like complete idiots or puppets. They "mother" them and do things that embarrass them in public as well. This tends to be in places like supermarkets and restaurants. Worse place will be at family get togethers like holidays or birthdays. They let everyone know that their man is hen pecked. He's got to bite his lip and accept it. They don't accept any "back talk" either. There's "hell" to pay if she gets she doesn't get her way. She wants all the other women, and men, to see that she's in charge. She's the one that wears the pants in the family. What she says goes in her household.

All these people seem to have a power struggle problem. They accuse, are possessive, jealous and insinuate things so as to create issues and cause these relationship problems and abuse. They can never allow anyone to have a moments peace. These people need this sort of things to feel alive. They may have been abused as a child themselves or never received the proper discipline when they were young. Also, it could be due to them being punished too harshly as a kid or they had fears that causes them to act in this manner. These fears are psychological and is deep within and it's exerted verbally or physically to people that they love. There are so many medical reasons that can be added but I still firmly believe that it all starts from a young age and is adopted so.

Living with people like this can be hard and painful. Sometimes it's best to get family members involved so everyone can assist. Domestic violence and abuse is difficult for everyone to confront. An intervention of this nature can backfire with violence from the abuser on everyone but it may be necessary. One should always report the abuse to the police. Separation may be necessary. What ultimate decision can later be attained. Moving out is one of the better options and divorce, after much consideration may be needed if there's irreconcilable differences.

Those in single relationships facing such problems should tell someone about it in case things escalate to serious difficulties. Trying to solve the problem is amicable but it's not an overnight result type deal. The abuser didn't get that way in a day. There may be deeper issues that even takes psychiatrist years to uncover or resolve. Don't go thinking that your love can change the person. You're in for a rude shock. In most cases the abuse only start when they are settled deep into the relationship. Be alert. Be aware.

Bar advice. Stay clear if you are involved or getting involved with someone like this. If it happened once be sure it's not going to end anytime soon.

Picking up the pieces

I recently met this guy at a bar and we were talking about work and problems in the world. Even the weather, of all things, because that's no longer a subject of convenience since we're battling global warming and it effects everyone. There's also the natural disasters that occur but we ended up talking about his personal disasters.

He seemed like a nice guy so I asked him to tell me about the problem. He went on about how he met his girlfriend, what they did and all that. It dragged on a bit but he insisted to tell me the story with more details thinking that I wouldn't understand if he didn't. Lot of graphical descriptions were added as well. He bought me a beer so I had to go through it but I knew that it would be therapeutically for him to just release what was bottled up inside.

It seemed that the the girl and him had been going out for about a year. Their in the mid twenties and having fun and both are working as well. The got decent blue collar jobs but recently the girl got a bit of a promotion. It seems that the boss had taken a liking to her. It all started at her company dinner and dance and she brought him but everyone assumed that she was unattached. I asked him why that was. He said, as the night went on, he found out later from her colleague that she was really carefree at work. Flirted with all the guys at work. Dressed quite seductively at times and was very forthright with guys. It seems that she was having two lives and keeping secrets from him. Before I could ask another question he interupted me and told me to wait till the story had ended.

The worse was yet to come. He told me that she was suppose to go to a company barbecue on one of the weekends and he couldn't come but in truth she had spent the weekend with her direct boss at a hotel. The same colleague, whom he got the number from, told him because he wanted an inside source and promised not to reveal names. They had a heated argument and it seems she denied everything. They argued for days over the phone and on several meetings. He told me he was hurt that they never slept together but she went with someone else and now they had broken up. His hand raise to halt me from asking questions. So I let him continue.

Then he goes on to tell me the colleague and himself were still in contact after that and the person happened to be female. They started talking on the phone for hours on end on a daily basis. Him pouring his feelings out to her about his broken heart and she trying to console him. Then he says they started going out and when it came to Christmas, they got a room. Sometime after they had made love and still in the nude, the door bell rang. She answered it and let in the guest but immediately went to the bathroom. The guy was shocked to see his ex-girlfriend there. The ex was stunned to see him with her colleague.

The girl emerged from the bathroom, all dressed, and shouted at his ex for being too friendly with the guy she really liked. The boss. She also accused her of getting the promotion by unscrupulous means. She revealed that she planned all of it from the start and how she injected stories and false information into his mind about his ex-girlfriend so she could hurt her the same way. She left after a bit more words.

The ex-girlfriend cried after that and as she looked at him she asked why he didn't trust her or believe her in the first place. Their relationship had been destroyed and what he did in the hotel room with the girl was the last nail in the coffin. She felt he was forever dead to her. She left crying and he was left to contemplate what had happened over all that time. What was happening to his life and why he mistrusted his girl in the first place? Will he be able to go picking up the pieces in his life?

Bar advice. Things like this do happen in real life and not only in movies. Sympathy for this guy is normal but I advised him certain things that I won't write here. Just be a witness to his story and learn.

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Pumping up your sex life

Even if you're in or not in a relationship that long, her are some tips that can help with pumping up your sex life. Sometimes we get into routine if we've been together for sometime. Singles can take this as future lessons. Here we go.

Sleep naked
Even Posh Spice does it. Sleeping in the buff might not get you more sex, but it will add an element of sensuality to your bedtime routine. Every time you brush up against each other, you'll feel soft, smooth skin and you know what that could lead to. Especially on chilly nights.

Sexy bedtime story
Take turns reading sexy books or articles. Something like the Kama Sutra to get in the mood. Stimulate the mind, and your bodies will follow. Visit the sex or erotic literature section of a bookstore, or go online for more ideas.


Play dress up
Dressing up isn't just for Halloween. Does your partner fantasize about a hot nurse or a fireman coming to the rescue? Sharing fantasies and then finding ways to safely act them out can be a lot of fun. If you think you and your partner will just break into giggles, all the better. Laughing together helps couples bond and feel closer, so it's a wining situation for both.

Playthings
This will be a shopping spree that even most guys will enjoy. The Internet has made it easy to shop together for sexy toys in the privacy of your own home. Try searching for everything from fine leather to chocolate body sauce to fuzzy restraints. It's just for fun. You may not use them all the time.

Flattery gets everywhere
Nothing will snuff out your sex drive faster than feeling taken for granted. For couples, there's always the danger of growing a bit complacent. You can keep the embers of your love hot by making a point of complimenting each other at least once a day. Remember, men love words of flattery as much as women.

Switch off and switch on
Agree that one night it'll be all about you, and the next all about your partner. When it's their turn, remind them early in the day. You might even try whispering in their ear a little something you have in mind for later. They'll be looking forward to it all day long. Sometimes you also need to use a new method or position to excite your partner. He or she may not like it so you can remove it next time but you'll be appreciated for the effort.

Location
See who can come up with the most creative spot in the house to do it. What about on the washing machine, shower, sofa, dining room table, pool table, if you got it? Let your imagination run wild. If you want to get even more adventurous, consider places outside the home, like a hotel room, the beach or at the back of your car on a quiet street. The mile high club is always looking for new members.

Dancing
Bodies bumping. Hips shaking. Salsa or lambada moves is what you're going for here. Go out dancing or, better yet, take a dance class together. Try partner dancing. Once you know a few basic moves you'll find you both may just get turned on when listening to it in bed.

Supercharge your body
Couples often pass on sex not because they aren't in love or attracted to one another, but because they're too exhausted. Healthy habits like eating right, getting enough sleep and exercising can improve your sex life dramatically. Improving your sex life might also be as simple as crossing a few things off your list, so you have more time and energy for lovemaking. Consider what's more important for your happiness, a clean car or mind-blowing sex?

But we forgot to mention the first and most important step to getting more and better sex out of your relationship. Talk about it! If your partner uses a new technique or moves don't go thinking that it was learnt from another person. Maybe they took the time to find better ways to please you. Sharing these tips and your own ideas with each other might just be the thing to start the sparks flying. Most of all, have fun and remember to use your imagination.

Bar advice. Remember also to tell your partner, when having sex, that you're enjoying what they're doing at that moment so they will know what to do next time. Don't expect them to read your mind and lastly thank them for a great time, every time.