How To Add Variety To Your Sex Life?

For the guys...

Lets talk about variety

Variety is the spice of life, and it is definitely a big one to transform your sex life!

So, how to add variety to your sex life?

Emotional Variety

This is the most important type of variety in sex. Some times you should go for a romantic experience. Start with a massage and spend loads of time with foreplay. Tell her how much you love her and how great it feels to make love to her. Other times you should give her the authoritative and dominant style. Playfully tear her clothes off getting in the door and talk dirty to her. Shake things it up! Don't give her the same emotional experience every time.

Fantasy 

Most guys don't have a problem with fantasy, especially since they are more likely to have seen porn online or seen magazines, etc but that is really fake. It's an industry that is driven on sexual stimulation combined with peoples sexual desire and curiosity that makes them money. So please don't think real women does what you've read or seen in porn. Some women might but that's not what should be applied here. 

Do you really understand how much (emotional) fantasy is involved in a woman's sex life? Women do and feel great if a guy can trigger this in the right way. Author Danielle Steele is the seventh best selling author of all time with 550 Million books sold because she knows how to turn a woman on emotionally.  If a woman picked up her book to read, they are immediately connected emotionally because she writes it that way. If guys can tap into this then your woman will be more into you.

Spontanaeity

Your sex life is dead in the water if it's just routine. Day in day out the same routine, time slot, sexual method, etc. Doom! There are many things one can do if you put your mind to it. If you're the sort that just takes her out once a week then go back and have your weekly romp in bed then it's all done and if this sounds like you...then you need to try some of these immediately!

• Wake her up with sex. (A slow morning approach before she wakes up. Fantastic!)
  
  
• Surprise her in the shower. (A woman likes privacy but intimacy and spontaneity wins)
  
  
• Pull over on the side of the highway and get it on in the car. (Simple and effective)
  
  
• Do it in the kitchen, the pool, the stairs, the back yard. (Sex around the house is fun)
  
  
• Take an afternoon off to do nothing but have sex. (Make sudden special time just for her)

Different Positions

I bet you thought when I mentioned variety earlier it meant different positions. Incredible sex isn't about putting her in the reverse upside down doggy style one night and the inverted spinning frogy style the next. Even the simple missionary style can be fulfilling if there is great connection on both emotional and physical levels. That being said, a little variety of positions can go a long way. By combining the emotional feed, fantasy and different approaches in your sex life, you can keep changing and making it exciting for both of you.

 Bar Advice. Where possible, sex should never be planned, made routine, or obligatory.

Why A Man Pulls Away From A Woman?

A little help for the ladies in this one. I'm going to reveal to you why a man pulls away from a woman and what to do to bring him close to you again. Imagine attracting a man emotionally and intellectually in such a way that he absolutely can't resist wanting to be around you.

Not only that, but imagine all the obstacles and excuses falling away. No more "I'm too busy" or "I have to work through some issues." The only thing he'll know is his desire to be with you. If you finally want to feel this secure in a relationship, then you need to check out specific ways to subtly communicate to a man the things that will trigger that intense level of attraction inside him.

You can literally have a man who wasn't totally "feeling it" for you to suddenly take notice, see and recognize the things inside you he simply didn't look for or see before. You will need to turn up the dial on the level of attraction a man feels and experiences with you on both a physical and emotional level. You may begin seeing some amazing changes in your love life right away and feel the kind of confidence and security with a man that you've never experienced before. But, it may not start off like that initially. So, how to make him think you're a good catch?

Wouldn't it be great to know for sure that your man was going to take you in his arms and let you know  without a doubt that he wants you and only you? Wouldn't it be amazing never to have to worry again that he is losing interest when he becomes distant or that you've done something wrong? It's entirely possible when you understand the reasons a man has for acting distant and what to do about it when he does.

A man will seem really excited to be with you, he'll ask you out, maybe even bring you flowers, call all the time, and then... Bang! Something shifts. He pulls back. He stops making plans like he used to and you start to feel like you did something wrong or that he doesn't like you as much any more. Doubt and insecurity creeps in.

Here's an insight about men that's fascinating and strange and that once you understand it is going to stop a lot of the pain and frustration you experience with dating and relationships. When a man gets truly close to a woman and deeply intimate for any extended period of time, he loves that feeling and wants more of it. But the strange part of this is that the moment a man experiences this period of intense closeness, he will take some space for himself. I know this sounds counter intuitive, but it's how most men work emotionally. Most guys will actually seek some amount of space to "recover". It's kind of like how after a muscle gets worked out it needs to rest before it can grow stronger and be active again. An extreme example would be a groom not showing up for his wedding.

Men can become distant even in good relationships and if you know what to do, you can keep your guy physically and emotionally engaged...even when he needs so called time to recover. There's also another reason why a man might withdraw that has nothing whatsoever to do with you. He's not living his "purpose".

It's important for a man to be clear about what he's doing in his own life and what his purpose is. A man's purpose can be anything from something as straight forward like excelling at his career or building his own company, to something more creative like starting and working a project at home or training at his favorite sport. The point is that men have goals and are engaged and focused on doing something and doing it well. A man's purpose is essential to his overall emotional and social well being. But often times, even men themselves aren't clear on what their purpose is or don't really go after their purpose and assert themselves. They can also be lost in a sense of an incomplete life.

 When a man isn't going after his own purpose, or has fallen away from it or forgotten about it, it often gets in the way of the strained relationship he's in. Men become withdrawn, restless, irritated and seem generally unengaged in life as a whole. Not forgetting, he may have parents that nag him or constantly remind him of his dream or objective or goal he had set and not done it yet. All due to you! So this added pressure, dealing with you and everyone else, causes them to take a step back.

They stop initiating plans. They stop spending as much time with people. Even their own friends. They shut the world out. Of course, they become emotionally withdrawn and distant as well. Too often men aren't conscious that this is what's happening to them and they end up pulling away from their relationship and making things even worse for themselves. This is when they often seem to go in and out of being present and
engaged in the relationship, and then completely withdrawn. 

Often women take on the problems the man is going through and try and help or even mistake his behavior to mean his feelings is about them or the relationship. So now that you know that a man's withdrawing is not automatically your fault, what can you do about it?

When you're with a man who is feeling or acting uncertain with you, trying to convince him otherwise puts you in a very dangerous and weak position for your relationship even if you give him an ultimatum that would move things ahead to the place in your relationship that you want. Why? Because he's not really making that decision based on what he wants or feels. What you really want and need is a man who is truly committed to being with you on a physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual level. Not coerced, not forced, not convinced. He needs to come to his own realization of everything.

If you're like most women, then you think sharing your feelings with a man first will somehow get him to share his feelings in return.  But this isn't how it works for a man. You can share your feelings with a man, but to expect that this will encourage him to do the same with you will only lead you to unnecessary frustration, especially if a man is already acting withdrawn. When a man acts withdrawn, that's a signal that he is undergoing his own emotional process and needs time to recharge. Once he's ready to share his feelings, he'll be back. But trying to stimulate him to do so by becoming overly emotional won't work. Most guys never experience a good relationship so they are thrown into the deep and even if they know how to swim, they feel paralyzed.

Women tend to think that if things are going well with a guy, that he will naturally want to move things forward to the next level. They'll just assume this even when the guy has never talked about the future. Woman created all these expectations about what the relationship was supposed to look like and how he was supposed to behave and when he fell short of that, she becomes disappointed and unfulfilled. This usually winds up in a confrontation that causes tension and maybe even creates more distance.

What you need to do first, before you do anything else, is get clear about what you want and expect from your love life. You need to be honest with yourself first before you can be honest with anyone else in your life. Stop pretending you only want a casual, fun fling when what you really want is to have committed, serious relationship that's going somewhere.


Now, let's get down to what's really going on when it comes to men and relationships.

Here's the thing, get clear about what you want. Guide your mind in all kinds of positive directions to help you find and attract the right situations and people in your life. Accepting a situation that is anything other than what you truly want will not only make you unhappy, it will keep you tied to a man who's not right for you. So really ask yourself what kind of relationship you want before you become involved with a man. It's OK to want what you want and to let a man know it. In fact, it's a must. And it's OK to tell a man that his behavior doesn't match with what you want.

Guys crave honest women who are up front about who they are and what they want in relationships. In a way that says that she's not too attached to the immediate outcome and subtlety lets him know that he better have his act together, or else. He suddenly sees you as "one of the guys". A buddy that he can talk to. Remember, most guys are not able to pick up on your complex girly thinking but when you keep it simple, send the message out like one of his friends...then he gets it. Simple right?

You'll not only move closer to the relationship you want, but you'll weed out the guys who can't give you that in the process. This is the critical key to inspiring a man to be close to you again. Actually allow yourself to be open and vulnerable. This is the space that you will actually receive love from your man and to do this requires that you actually take a step back so that a man can come towards you and start giving you his love and attention.  If you don't leave this space, you will keep filling the space, and he will not step forward. That means you let go of the need to control what happens next and give him the chance to adjust, call, make plans with you or initiate affection.

When you back off like this, a man will firstly be caught off guard and pleasantly surprised as he probably hasn't had this happen with a woman before. Once he gets over this, he'll realize that he actually needs less time away from you, because you're not going to hold it against him.

Remember:, a man can't read your mind, or know all that's in your heart. If you're carrying around pain or fear, it's surely getting in the way of him seeing that beautiful and real you underneath that he would want to know and love.

Bar Advice. Make it easy for him and it will change for you.

The Advice We Get About Our Relationship

I've seen so many situations where a relationship between two people have been jeopardized by other people like family members, friends, colleagues, etc. These people, may at times be genuinely concerned but on numerous occasions they are not.

The Advice We Get  About Our Relationship can occasionally be damaging. Sometimes our best friends say bad things about the person we are with because they may have feelings of loss of your friendship or feel like someone splitting up a good team between you two. There is also, at times, jealousy involved where a friend just can't find a partner and if you are involved with someone they advise you that the person you're with isn't right for you. Some may even spread rumors or lies in hopes of breaking you up.

Office colleagues working together have a tendency to have an office romance or even sexual encounters where it is a mutual understanding, including affairs with married people. However, if someone gets attached and is in a relationship suddenly the whole dynamics change. Where a sexual friendship is suddenly interrupted, people have feelings stirred to the surface that they didn't realize was alive. This could also be anything as low key as daily flirting in the office and not actually having sex with that person but it remains the same feeling.

Being deprived access to someone because a third party has stepped in could drive some people to do ugly things and sure enough they provide all sorts of warnings and bad advice to place terror into the mind in hopes that they can invoke a break up so things can go back as it was and they look the hero.

In certain circumstances the advice about your new relationship may come from a colleague of the same gender and gives you negative remarks about the person you're with because they have a hidden agenda. In certain cases, they may be gay and attracted to you in secret so they advise you about relationship horror stories hoping you don't remain hitched and they may still have a shot even if you're not gay. Doesn't matter if you're male or female. They probably are hoping for the best or fearing the worst if you find out about their desire or orientation and that's why they do it.

On the home front, you may have to deal with older sisters or brothers and if they are married, its worse. They believe they are fit to be your adviser on matters of the heart because their monotonous life works! So, in their head, they are fit to advise you on your choice of partner and relationship matters even though the lack of romance or sex in their own relationship is up for debate.

Parents on the other hand is a little tricky. They may have your best interest at heart but most of the time we never listen to them. Do we? Some mothers are concern we make an impulsive choice or be lured away by an unscrupulous person that will bring heartache and sadness. However, mom's advice although sound, is hardly in our minds when we make choices of the heart. I guess the dreaded idea of bringing home that special someone only to have a disapproving argument later on our choice is enough for anyone to have a heart attack. Just like in the movies.

Don't get too discouraged. Not all advice is bad. There are many friends and colleagues that will be happy for you, tease you along and even help you when needed. Parents too, especially mom, will be your biggest supporter and helpful adviser. So its not all doom and gloom even though there is a lot of bad advice coming from people who you should stay far away from.

Bar Advice. It boils down to your choice. No one else. Just be aware what advice you're getting, who and why they're giving it to you.

Pause

I guess we all need a break so I'm in pause mode for now. Got some stuff to do, work to concentrate on and business to take care off. Will be back with more relationship issues, more advice and , YES!, more sex stuff to be included. Later!!

Bar advice. Wake up before it's too late!!


P.S. Use this travel site if you want to best Asian destination travel like me.

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Millionaire Society

Being Compatible

Sure, a lot of times opposites attract, in a big way! The push and pull of differences can create friction, heat and a whole lot of excitement in many relationships. Some of these connections last and many don't but for the most part, when it comes to finding a long term mate, the more you have in common, the less likely there is to be conflict. So that means you can also be attracted to someone more similar to yourself.

As humans, many of us find this really boring! Even still, no relationship is a walk in the park and it won't be smooth sailing all the way, no matter how similar you are. So, you might as well go for the fire. However, part of finding and keeping a mate means accepting and getting past differences and working on change when necessary. It's what you do share that will come to your rescue in challenging times. That's why it's important to identify common ground in every love connection.

It's the age old question of "How compatible are we?" Or, "what should I be looking for?" There are probably hundreds of answers to these questions, so here it's narrowed down to the top five main compatibility "musts" in a mate.

Social
How do you and your partner match up when it comes to socializing? Do you like to be with and meet new people? Do you talk to every person you possibly can at a party? Does spending time socializing energize you? It's fine if someone doesn't have quite the same passion for socializing as their partner but if the difference is extreme and if one person needs to stay home to rest and recoup constantly, while the other needs to go out or invite friends over multiple times a week to get their groove on, conflict may arise. You and your partner needn't do everything together but for optimum happiness, it's best to pick a partner who has similar social desires.

Sexual
Of course, without sexual chemistry most couples would never get together in the first place! By sexual it means early desires and later physical interaction. This initial attraction is the easy part but the nuts and bolts of making it work in bed for the long run is a much more complex affair. It's good to gauge your compatibility in this area by getting answers to certain questions. Are you matched in terms of your preferences and expectations? For instance, are you more dominant or submissive, expressive or inhibited, experimental or conservative? Is there a balance? How much foreplay do you like to give and receive? Is there a shared commitment to monogamy or is an open relationship acceptable? The answers will be different for everyone but they can be the biggest deal breakers in a relationship.

Financial
If you're planning on being with someone long term, know what their approach to money management is. To avoid unpleasant surprises, talk about it before taking any legally binding steps. How does each of you feel about credit? What's more important, spending or saving? Will you pool your money together or operate separately? Do both parties expect to earn an income and, if not, is one willing and capable of supporting the other? Do you love the person enough that money is not an issue between yourselves even if one lacks or has lesser of it?

Spiritual
Spiritual compatibility encompasses values, beliefs and behaviors. Whether or not you are a deeply spiritual or religious person, compatibility, or absolute acceptance and discussion of differences, in this area should be addressed as it could affect the long term development of a relationship. Is a shared religion and faith an important qualification for a mate? Can you talk openly to each other about spiritual topics? Does your partner have an accepting and warm response? Do you feel like you can support each other on a spiritual path? Is your partner willing to change for you?

Lifestyle
Thankfully, this is the area of compatibility that is often easiest to work through, but can also be the source of much conflict. Is your partner up all night while you're early to bed and early to rise? Things to consider include;
1) Your level of organization.
2) Your living space preferences? (big or small, style, decor).
3) Hobbies and pastimes.
4) Preferences for sports and exercise.
5) Vacationing or staying at home.
6) Are cultural events, art, music and dancing valued?
7) What level of political or religious involvement in the community is desired?
8) What obligations to family, relatives or friends is required?
9) Where do you see your life unfolding? (in the city, suburbs or country?).
10) Is charity and volunteer work part of your life?

A friend of mine, Anne Curtis, who is a celebrity and star in the Philippines was just chatting with me yesterday. She's always so bubbly and friendly but people don't get to see past her celeb status. Question is, does she even have the time to think about all the points highlighted above? Maybe the most important compatibility in her case would be the "spiritual" one. A religious bond perhaps that makes sense of the world she lives in and whoever she's in a relationship with. So count your blessings that you have more going for yourself.

Bar advice. The odds of you being compatible with someone is far greater than my friend Anne. However, my advice to all and someone like Anne is, never give up the belief you'll find the "one."

Reading The "Hints"

So what are the various areas of communication you should pay attention to with women? Advice for guys on talking to ladies....we can break it down to these.

Her Subtext. This means the reading the "hints" she gives amongst the jumble of words coming out of her mouth.
Her Body Language. How her body shifts, moves, rests, and leans whenever she is saying something or reacting to something. 
Eye Contact. How she maintains, or not, eye contact and various things which may happen with her eyes.
Her Actions. What she ACTUALLY has done, is doing, or will do, whether in conflict with her words or not.
Her Topics. What she talks about and how she talks about it or tells you about it.
 

Statements & Questions. What kind of statements does she make, and what kind of questions she asks.

How She Dresses. Not just WHAT she's wearing, but HOW she wears it.

Touch. How she touches and reacts to different kinds of touch.





Now here are some examples of the ways women will mis-communicate or communicate that which you should be aware of.

SUBTEXT: She may be talking about with the staff at the convenience store, but she may also be signaling the types of behaviors she finds attractive, offensive, weird, scary, or fascinating. For example, if a woman wants a caring man, wants you to know she wants a caring man and wants to know if you are a caring man, she will not just say "I want a caring man and I hope you are one." If she did, every schmuck who she tells that to will just act as if he's got that quality which actually says to her "he is just saying that and it's not real." Instead, at most she will drop it into subtext and the "better" man will be able to "read" it and capitalize. If you didn't get this first one...you're already in trouble.

BODY LANGUAGE: There is no harm in repeating what you may have already heard a few dozen times. If her body language is closed or locked up, then she's being defensive. If her body is open then she's opening up to chances. If she doesn't face you directly when talking to you, she feels higher value than you. If she points her feet at you while standing, she has some interest. If she leans in, she's interested. Leans back, she's not. If she shifts her hair away to display her neck, she is flirting. There's a lot more. A lot of this you may know or have learned already. What you need to do now is connect it to her "verbal" communications (along with subtext) and, once again, "read" the true picture.

EYE CONTACT: If she maintains eye contact, she is more likely being honest. If her eyes look away almost every time she needs to answer a question, then she's "accessing" which means she has to think about it before answering which usually means she's not being entirely honest. If she looks at you and both her eyes sort of "vibrate" a bit back-and-forth then she is some what overwhelmed by your communication or is a little distress as to how to follow through. If she mostly keeps eye contact but makes a jerking motion (turn) with her head while reacting to you then she's being shy (insecure) or may be thinking about something (maybe sexual or playful) she doesn't want you to know about. You can "read" a lot of information by casually observing all these eye things.

HER ACTIONS: Mostly you should observe a woman's actions to understand what most resembles what she is likely to actually do in the future or how she truly feels about something or someone. If she says she doesn't like men who order her around yet every one of her past boyfriends ordered her around and she only broke up with them when she "tamed" them, then clearly she is only relaying (at most), a belief in how she would "like" to be. You will be able to read that actually as certain behavior will attract her more than others, regardless of what she says. It may be best to exit that sort of relationship because trying to change someone is one of the hardest things to do. Have you ever tried changing something in your life? Hard right? Well try changing just one part of another person.

HER TOPICS: What does she talk about a lot? What kind of things draw her attention? Does she say claim to be a hippy type but always seems to talk about fashion and conservative topics? What kind of people does she talk about? What things in the news interest her? Does she even bring up anything from the news or does she exclusively talk about certain shows on prime time TV? Does subjects about helping others in need ever come up? Is she interested in the people that are suffering in third world countries or only in the tourist attractions of those countries? You can "read" a lot about her based on her common topics.

STATEMENTS & QUESTIONS: Is she critical of a lot of things or people? Does she often voice high opinions of herself or points out the lack in others? Does she claim to be better than other people in the world? Will she ask for help if she's unsure about something? Does she seek your opinion about things especially if it's something about her appearance, character, work, thoughts or insecurities? You can "read" what her opinions or doubts are. Don't forget, she could be complaining or bitching about you behind your back too.

HOW SHE DRESSES: Conservative? Casual? High Maintenance? Does the way she dress contradict anything about her? In a good or bad way? Sneakers? Skirt? Pleated pants? Does she pay attention to details and try to draw attention to herself or is she understated and low key? It's always nice to have a few good things but would you want her becoming Paris Hilton? People more materialistic tend to look down on others who lack, even if the other has a heart of gold. You can "read" her style.

HER TOUCH: Does she touch you when talking to you? Where? How often? Does she reciprocate your touches? If a woman starts touching you a lot when you talk to her then she's either really interested or really friendly. Either is pretty good. If she jumps or reacts a bit off when you touch her, then she's communicating that your vibe is not sitting well with her. What about the objects around her? If she is toying incessantly with an object, then she's nervous. If she plays with her hair while talking, she's attracted. Her manner of touch with you and the people and things around her will allow you to read her internal sensitivities of her interaction with you.

Realize you can learn a lot of this over time and what better way to learn than interacting with lots of women? Also, try this. Lets say you're in a bar or cafe. Watch the couples. You'll be able to sense the vibes of those that are together for some time, the new dating ones, those meeting for the first time and you're bound to see a cool and suave guy. In control and probably with a "hot" date. Keep observing him the most and learn.

Bar advice. Guys see women all the time every day but do we really read the hints thrown our way, be it the good and bad ones? Think about it!

Abstinence

At first, you dream of her. Then you see her across the room. You know immediately that you have to have her. You meet, and you make a brilliantly sexy connection. you date some time. Then she wants you to wait three months. It seems perfectly ridiculous. Who are you kidding? Neither of you are virginal. So how long is too long to wait and is it really worth it in the end? No matter how hot she seemed at first, will abstinence really make the heart fonder and the sex hotter?

To gauge woman’s sexual vibes is always challenging when you first meet. Some women send out ridiculously strong sexual signals, sometimes without even recognizing their strength. Other women make an effort to lure you in with their sex appeal, and then expect you to make the rest of the moves. While a certain period of harmless flirting is always necessary, its also a good idea to cut to the chase early when it comes to both of your sexual motives. As unassumingly as possible, you might ask that new sexy woman in your life what type, if any, of relationship she is after. Her answer will likely range from "none" to "I’m not sure". These are both fine answers, as neither of them close the door on a potential sexual connection. However, if at anytime in her response she mentions the word "slow", as in "I need to take things slowly", you are best prepared to expect the worse in terms of waiting for sex.

Taking things slowly differs from woman to woman in every relationship. Generally, a woman who wants to go slowly though, is speaking in terms of months, not dates. While some women’s intentions remain quite Victorian, we all know that when things get really hot and steamy, it sometimes becomes impossible to wait at all. Hopefully you have run into this type of woman. She plays hard to get but when it comes down to play time she is actually hard to get off you. In the opposite scenario, your experience will likely be less thrilling. Sure this flirty lady will engage in foreplay and test the waters a little but just when you think you are really getting somewhere, bam! She calls it off and declares that things are moving "way too fast".

So what else can this impossible woman expect from you besides abstinence (as if that’s not enough)? A woman who wants to take things "slow" in the sexual department wants you to connect with her on an emotional level, not just a physical one. I think we all regret that this means having lots of long talks, giving her lots of attention, and yes, maybe even some gifts. Sound like way too much effort? You might be right. If time spent with her is relatively enjoyable and gets you that much closer to your long term goal, then a few weeks of chivalry and foreplay will not kill you in the end. Months of abstinence, however, might be another story altogether. A woman who expects you to wait an extended period of time before sex is, in effect, suggesting that sex be used as a tool to "consummate" the relationship.

Beware of this woman as she might have much grander plans in mind, like marriage! Any woman with a healthy sex drive and a passion for life who chooses abstinence with someone as sexy as yourself is trying one of two goals. One, she is engaging in a religious practice, or two, she is husband shopping.

The truth is that when a woman decides that her next serious (i.e. sexual) relationship will be her last one, she intends to turn that serious relationship into a marriage. Don’t say we didn't warn you. The woman who wants to be "worth waiting for" has other potentially unrealistic expectations of you as well. As you might have predicted, after several long months of touching and waiting and touching and waiting some more, the build up to the big event is almost intolerable. The weight of the world is resting on both of your shoulders to make this all worth waiting for. Can it really turn out as well as you both hope and expect? Not likely. Remember that it is hard to recover from a flawed or failed first attempt at sexual intimacy. In the end, it may be better to hurry up and get the first time over with, so that you can get on with the practicing and really getting to know each other in the bedroom.

There are only a few real benefits to waiting weeks or months before having sex. First of all, as you might imagine, the waiting adds an exciting level of suspense to the relationship. You know you both want to and you are both dying to find out what the other will be like but you are so into each other that you already know that it will be great. This can be an absolutely dreamy period of time in a relationship. On the total opposite chance that you begin to lose interest in a woman as you get to know her, then it will be much easier to break up with her if you have not engaged in intercourse. In the right relationship, abstinence might make you fonder of each other and strengthen your sexual relationship down the road. However, this is generally the exception rather than the rule.

If this is the sexy lady for you, then go ahead and distract yourself for a few months, and wait for her to come around but if the waiting is making you more upset and frustrated than happy to be with her at all, then the delayed enjoyment of sex with this woman will probably not be worth investing you time into. Don't get me wrong, some guys can wait and one reason is because they are also lacking in intimacy due to experience. They're not sure how it all works too so they dare not push forward and are content to wait it out. Their lack of relationships earlier in life brings them to this point. The abstinence on the part of the woman may also come from this reason at times. It's different with everybody generally.

Bar advice. Meeting the 'right person' may be a high factor in breaking the abstinence period but communicating about your sexual fears and doubts may surprisingly clear theirs as well and abstinence may never arise.

Happy Easter

SEXY & HOT COMMENTS



We all may not be in the Christian faith but to realize the relationship that Jesus had with man is unexplainable even till today. Whatever your beliefs are and whatever faith you got to admit that his suffering and death on the cross was a feat done by no other. The main fact is it was done out of love.

Bar advice. Be the change you want to see- M.Ghandi

Roadblocks

We're going to talk about some roadblocks now. You may have the attitude and the moves but there are always going to be twists thrown at you along the way. Ever been stood up? Have a woman show up an hour late with little or no warning? Whine when she isn't getting her way? Sure you haven't. Why does this happen?

The truth is, most of the time this sort of behavior is your own fault. Yes, your own. It comes from your initial meetings. Either she didn't have as much fun with you as she should have. Maybe you gave an indication that you can be walked over or she just plain didn't get excited by you. These are all things you can solve by perfecting your relaxed confidence and playful attitude. That will get rid of most flaky behavior. Sometimes women do this just to see what kind of man you REALLY are! Maybe she wants to see you again but refuses your first request for her number. She might say she does that because she doesn't want to be seen as easy. What this really does is reveal who she's dealing with. How do you react to the pressure? Do you get nervous, defensive? Flee? Do you bow your head, shrink your shoulders and don't say anything?

Oftentimes the woman just wants to see if the confident face you're presenting is for real. Women have tons of tests they use on men. Most of them unconscious but after being approached by hundreds or thousands of guys over the years, women need this sort of thing to separate the wheat from the chaff. Don't be thrown. Recognize it as a test and don't let it break your character. Lots of guys know they shouldn't just cave in but they swing too far the other way, and scare women off. You want to stay playful. Liking what she decides to do in any situation isn't given huge importance in your life. You're going to have fun regardless and if she's smart she'll join in but if not, her loss.

If you're in a bar and the woman doesn't want to be led to another area, feel free to tease. You don't want to constantly try to please her because she'll know it. She'll slowly lose respect for you and set the bar higher and higher. The further you bend over backwards to please her, the less she'll like you. It's a strange world but if you make it clear that being boring, being difficult or worst of all being (legitimately) bratty isn't something you're going to allow into your life, not only will you gain her respect and pass her tests and you'll probably have to deal with such behavior a lot less.

Another example is if you're on the phone and your lady gives you a wishy-washy, "maybe", type answer when you set up a meeting, cut off the possibility of a no-show from the get-go. A strong statement telling her you dislike uncertain answers or displeasure in negativity leading to possible no-shows will set things straight. This will usually shocks a lady out of her doubt or, worst case, you'll find out early on whether she'll be there or not. Your attitude should be "I enjoy my life, and if you want to join the fun, you're welcome but if you're going to throw bullshit my way or try to bring me down, I'll look elsewhere for interesting people." As the above statement makes clear, this isn't just about early tests. This roadblock can be a hard hit. If you've got a girl you've been seeing a while but she starts getting negative or whiny, the same sort of thing applies.

Your goal is to advance into a relationship later on so get out that "attraction journal" and mark a page "tests." Write down every test you can think of. Everything that's happened to you or you can imagine happening. They can be things women do to find out about your true character. Maybe to find out if you're real or just an act or they can simply be things that test your cool and control. Then, under each entry, write down ways you can keep your cool. Lines you can use. Images you can call up to help you stay in the right frame of mind. Triggers that bring out your relaxed happy self. Leave plenty of space, because you'll constantly find new tests from them and you'll also come up with better responses over time.

Plus, when you get a very confident sharp woman, these sorts of exchanges can go back and forth almost indefinitely and you don't want to be the one to break the chain. When the sexual tension is being dialed so high, you need to have the confidence to keep bringing it further. Trust me. She'll end up ripping your clothes off but you can't change into a wimp in front of her eyes. It's like a beautiful woman smiling and revealing secretly she's got no underwear on. It will drive you crazy. You'll want her but restrain is in order as well so you don't look desperate.

Bar advice. Looking out for these these test or roadblocks may not be as easy but just remember they're there and it'll be easier if you can spot them early.

No feelings

I often hear people say that after going out with a lady once, how come she wouldn't want to go out with them again. If you guys are asking the same, you'd be treated with this 'final answer' that once and for all lays that question to rest.

A majority of the women coincidentally say, "Because there were NO FEELINGS" to the guy when the date ends. It may seem too unclear, so let's explore what does "no feelings" mean exactly when women say that. Firstly, when a woman goes out with a guy the first time, she's hoping it would be different on that new date as compared to other disappointing ones she went to. She secretly craves to feel some emotions on a date. Hopeful that the guy can spark some special interest in her. In cases where there's zero emotions generated, she tells her friends or colleagues the next day how much the date, or the guy, sucked. She also uses these words to get out of guys that are pester her constantly to go out or who she feels may disclose that he likes her.

Opposite is true too. When she did experience feelings on a date, she'll tell her friends how much she wanted to see that guy again. So, on an unspoken level, a woman wants to feel three primary emotions on a date.

1)She wants to feel you are interesting. That means having a 'thrill factor' and fascination associated with interacting with you. Most dates are called 'boring' by ladies simply because she experienced a lack of something new. As a guideline, the amount of giggling and smiles from the female is a fair measure of how interesting the experience is. Use that as a measurement device for the amount of interest you generate on a date. However, being interesting alone is not enough sometimes.

2)She wants feelings of getting attracted to you. Human beings have 'mating habits', just like any other species on earth. Within these mating habits, there are "rules" that define what makes a man "high mating quotient" and what makes him a person of "low mating quotient". The good news is, man is a 'self-correcting' species, with the ability to learn and turn from low to high mating quotient. On a date, it's your role to reflect the super male traits that women naturally get attracted to in a man. This is no bull. It's instinctive in females since the dawn of mankind and caveman days when trying to develope a realtionship.

3)She wants to feel she bonded with you. You may have the most interesting things to say, but if you don't know how to create closeness or bridge the gap between you and her, the date may not work out well. It's a pity when some guys go out with women and spend the whole day chatting but in the end nothing is done to pull close the distance. You may get a shot at another date but if it happens again you'll be pushed to the "friends" list in her book.

So, the date is simply a 'frame of time' that gives you an opportunity to bring about the above feelings in the gal. One thing's for sure, you'll definitely find yourself in dating situations with women in future. Since it's going to be unavoidable, try to masterfully ace that date. How; is going to be up to you guys really.

Bar advice. There will be times when a lady just 'clicks' with you right off the bat. Well, don't waste too much time thinking about what skills to use. Let things take a natural course.

How to make a woman happy?

There many things that we can do to make a woman happy. It's complicated yet ever so easy. Here's a little couple of notes to remember. Take your time and read through it slowly and carfully. Help your relationship a little with some understanding.




Bar Advice. For the guys it's not that easy but, yes, it's pretty much that simple. For the chicks, see why guys just don't get it.

What to do on the second date?

We seem to focus a lot on the "first dates". All the jitters and what it takes to make a good impression. What if you do? You're bound to be want a second date or more, otherwise what was it all for? This time, go pick her up. Preferably, try to get a little sexy love at the door to break the ice. At least give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. She’ll think you’re happy to see her. They usually let you, so go for it. It gets the guy a little confidence to move toward more physical contact later, if possible.

What to do on the second date? You can do whatever you want for the evening. Take her to a bar then dancing. Maybe you could also take her to a bar and then dinner if you want. Avoid movies at all cost, they tend to put you both to sleep. Movies are for dates when you are together for a long time and it's something you both want to watch. Not when trying to get a persons intention. You could also cook dinner for her at your house or plan a certain thing that you want to do together or show her. In any case if your goal is to get her back to your place, or hers if she wants, don’t wait until you are ready to go home. Instead, ask early. Give an indication that you want some private time with them. Maybe they may like to share a bottle of wine or just come over to hang out a little and relax in each others company.

Once on your turf, they can be putty in your hands. An advanced technique for guys(hope I'm not giving anything away) guaranteed to speed up your time is quite simple. After some time when you’re making out on the couch or wherever with a girl, try telling her(with a strait face) that you never sleep with a women unless you've been dating them for at least a month. Then shut up! Do anything else for a few minutes. This will process through her mind for a while and then she’ll become the aggressor. Women love a challenge. Nine out of ten times she’ll jump your bones that night. She will want to be that "special" someone that can manipulate your actions than any other woman.

Bar advice. Some women prefer to take you to their place or somewhere else because they may not be comfortable being in your domain with such a short time knowing you. At this stage of a relationship, follow her lead.

Stay in the present

Are you familiar with the expression "to live in the moment?" This is the ability to be fully present and aware of yourself and your surroundings as you live each moment. Achieving such a state requires observation, appreciation, patience, quiet, and the ability to turn off the clock and put away the calendar.

While most of us don't experience such times frequently, this is when we feel the most alive. In theory, being present involves learning how to pay attention, and the process of getting there is far easier than you might think. Relationship issues can also be solved this way and you'll find it much easier in your life. There are a few simple things you can do right now to help you stay in the present and pay attention to your life experience in a very positive way.

Start by setting a few quiet minutes aside each day to close your eyes and take stock of what you are feeling, no matter how good or bad those feelings may be. Don't judge your feelings, just allow yourself to become aware of the emotions behind them. Reflecting, if any, on where it involves in your relationship, your life and what you can do to make things better.

Next, send your attention outward and become aware of things around you. Notice if you feel warm or cold, what your clothing feels like against your skin, the feeling of the air moving in and out of your lungs. Let the sounds around you filter through you and notice the underlying noises that you may have been tuning out. Then, open your eyes and notice the colors and sights around you in this same subtle, attentive way. By the time you are halfway through this little exercise, you may be surprised at how much you actually notice about your internal and external presence. If you try this, you will probably find that "paying attention" will take on a whole new meaning, and it will be a very nice one at that.

Finding the source of the 'inner' you and staying in the present helps you to see clearly where and what your relationship is all about. What make you happy in it? Where you are headed in it? Most of all, is everything working well in your life?

I hope that you can take some time to practice living in the moment and to stay in the present. I'm sure that it will change your experience in "now" time.

Relationship advice on break ups

After a breakup, people often take time to reflect on the dynamics of their relationship. What went wrong and why, as well as what went right. It's not uncommon for ex-partners to begin to believe the relationship is salvageable and could potentially blossom again. No one can guarantee that rekindling a relationship with an ex will work out, but there are steps you can take to greatly increase the chances. So lets see if you can increase you chances.

Ask yourself if there's still love between you and your ex? If you are certain that you're still in love and he or she still loves you, then you could try to reestablish a successful relationship. If you aren't sure whether or not you still love one another, then you probably need to take more time until you are certain. It has to work both ways, so talk to your partner about it and be careful not to confuse love with the desire for companionship and comfort. Normally after a break up you feel out of sync from the world because of the routine you had when in a relationship.

You got to overcome doubt. One or both parties already gave up on the relationship once, so what makes you think you can make it work this time around? This is the doubt you will have. Doubt can undermine your efforts. Consider the polarities. Faith on one end, and doubt on the other. If you have decided to get back together, you have faith but inevitably, there will also be doubt. The first place to start is to recognize doubt will be there. Just being aware of this will help you find the strength to let doubt subside and not rule you. This, by the way, will be felt on both sides and is also normal.

How do you face the issues? One of the most important factors in getting back together is a willingness to face the issues honestly, together and individually. The things that led you to breakup in the first place. Since it's almost impossible to change the other person, a good place to start is with you. Ask yourself how you can take responsibility for your part in the breakup. Are there ways that you could act or react differently to a problem? What part of the relationship which was not working out was your responsibility? How can you change to make your ex see that you want he relationship to work. See how it's more about you than your ex? Make a list and then talk with your partner about your part in the problem. Take responsibility and chances are they will be forthcoming with their own shortcomings.

Staying committed to the relationship is hard work. Taking the responsibility for your part in the problems is part of the healing. Reestablishing a strong foundation for the relationship comes with making a commitment to work on these problems one at a time. This will take time, and results will be slow to come, so remain consistent and persistent. Both need to commit to making changes. If you find yourselves getting stuck, consider seeking professional assistance such as couples counseling. When negotiating what needs to change in a relationship, do your best to avoid criticism and blame. Instead, focus on what your responsibility is and make sure your partner is on board with you. The worse thing is when one does not see that they are part of the problem when the relationship is on the rocks.

Bar advice. Taking someone for granted is one of the downfalls of any relationships. Ensure that the relationship has committed conversations as often as possible.

Create goals

Do you have a vision in mind of how you want your life to be, as well as a clear plan on how to get there? It is surprising how many times when people are asked this question, only to discover that they are simply wandering along just letting life happen to them, all the while wishing that their dreams would come true.

This is what you need. Why should we sit back, waiting for life to happen as it will, when we have the power to set our own goals and the energy and desire to make our dreams a reality? Setting goals puts you squarely in charge of your own life and that is a very desirable situation. That is why I'm sharing a few simple tricks I have found helpful in making "goal setting" even easier and more successful.

The physical act of writing a goal on paper helps to anchor it in your mind, so write your goals down every day, and make certain that you keep your goal centered on you and not someone else.

Be sure to state your goal in positive terms, as positive statements draw positive things your way. For example, "I am always on time" is preferable to "I am never late."

Our subconscious only understands present time. So, if you create goals that are set in the future, your subconscious will keep those goals in the future. For this reason, it is best to always write your goals as if they were already happening or had already happened.

State your goals clearly and precisely so that the Universe and your subconscious know exactly what you want. Using strong words that evoke emotion and command action helps to call forth the energy needed to move forward.

Relationship goals can be achieved the same way. Work in out on paper. Apply what you know, read about or learnt to get things going your way. Open yourself up to new things and people. Relationships are tricky in itself. You don't need the universe to block you as well as you blocking yourself.

Now, most importantly, when you write down your goals, imagine yourself already being, doing, or having the things that you are dreaming about. This will further activate and imprint your goals on your subconscious. I hope that these tips will help to make your dreams a reality. You can achieve the goals you set for yourself.

Bar advice. Never give up. The reality of what you want can be achieved if you just believe it will happen and put in the effort.

Verbal abuse

A guy that lives around my neighbourhood is always making his wife feel like shit. He always has some form of verbal abuse toward her. They can be in a coffee shop and he'll be talking loudly and putting her down so others can hear. In the shops buying things and he'll raise his voice to make it seem like she's either spending too much of his money again or he'll make her look stupid like she doesn't know which brand item to buy. He's never embarrassed that everyone will be looking and continues till they reach home or till he's satisfied.

People like this may or may not know that they abuse their partners and it can be classified as a medical problem but I believe that it starts from young. How you were raised? What your parents, family members or teachers thought you and how you were disciplined.

These are people that want to be in a superior position at all times and make sure that everyone knows that they are the head of the household. They feel that if they allow anyone to talk back, interrupt them, debate or even tell them off; they'll be disrespected. They cannot accept this and thus will rule their domain and all in it with an iron fist. The relationship to them is something sealed and cannot be broken and they believe this permits them to do as they please. Say as the please. Ridicule and embarrass as they please.

There are also those that abuse with physical violence. Most of the time the violence will be inside the home as they don't want others to see it and there will not be any proof if the law is called. Verbal abuse in and outside the home tends to be at all times as it is not against the law. The verbal abuse can sometimes be so demeaning or highly embarrassing that the woman knows not where to face when she's in public. Every direction she turns will have a face staring back at her but none able to rescue. What does she do? Only to look downwards to the ground but that normally entails the abuser to get more angry and abusive because he wants her to be embarrassed. He wants her face to be seen by others. He just wants to "put her in her place" for no rhyme or reason whatsoever.

He flaunts his "power" over her and he also wants others to see it. When he's alone and in public, he's "Mr nice guy" with everyone. The worst thing is that everyone thinks he is since they have not seen his abuse or any of that behavior. They will accept him as someone that's normal in society. Question is, why can he not be like this towards his partner? Lots of times this abuse also extends toward the children and he uses them to inflict harm onto his wife more so because the tendency is she will be protecting them against any abuse.

We also should look at women that abuse their husbands. It's a true fact. Although there are far fewer cases but it does exist. Laugh if you like but there are women out there that make their husbands look like complete idiots or puppets. They "mother" them and do things that embarrass them in public as well. This tends to be in places like supermarkets and restaurants. Worse place will be at family get togethers like holidays or birthdays. They let everyone know that their man is hen pecked. He's got to bite his lip and accept it. They don't accept any "back talk" either. There's "hell" to pay if she gets she doesn't get her way. She wants all the other women, and men, to see that she's in charge. She's the one that wears the pants in the family. What she says goes in her household.

All these people seem to have a power struggle problem. They accuse, are possessive, jealous and insinuate things so as to create issues and cause these relationship problems and abuse. They can never allow anyone to have a moments peace. These people need this sort of things to feel alive. They may have been abused as a child themselves or never received the proper discipline when they were young. Also, it could be due to them being punished too harshly as a kid or they had fears that causes them to act in this manner. These fears are psychological and is deep within and it's exerted verbally or physically to people that they love. There are so many medical reasons that can be added but I still firmly believe that it all starts from a young age and is adopted so.

Living with people like this can be hard and painful. Sometimes it's best to get family members involved so everyone can assist. Domestic violence and abuse is difficult for everyone to confront. An intervention of this nature can backfire with violence from the abuser on everyone but it may be necessary. One should always report the abuse to the police. Separation may be necessary. What ultimate decision can later be attained. Moving out is one of the better options and divorce, after much consideration may be needed if there's irreconcilable differences.

Those in single relationships facing such problems should tell someone about it in case things escalate to serious difficulties. Trying to solve the problem is amicable but it's not an overnight result type deal. The abuser didn't get that way in a day. There may be deeper issues that even takes psychiatrist years to uncover or resolve. Don't go thinking that your love can change the person. You're in for a rude shock. In most cases the abuse only start when they are settled deep into the relationship. Be alert. Be aware.

Bar advice. Stay clear if you are involved or getting involved with someone like this. If it happened once be sure it's not going to end anytime soon.

Picking up the pieces

I recently met this guy at a bar and we were talking about work and problems in the world. Even the weather, of all things, because that's no longer a subject of convenience since we're battling global warming and it effects everyone. There's also the natural disasters that occur but we ended up talking about his personal disasters.

He seemed like a nice guy so I asked him to tell me about the problem. He went on about how he met his girlfriend, what they did and all that. It dragged on a bit but he insisted to tell me the story with more details thinking that I wouldn't understand if he didn't. Lot of graphical descriptions were added as well. He bought me a beer so I had to go through it but I knew that it would be therapeutically for him to just release what was bottled up inside.

It seemed that the the girl and him had been going out for about a year. Their in the mid twenties and having fun and both are working as well. The got decent blue collar jobs but recently the girl got a bit of a promotion. It seems that the boss had taken a liking to her. It all started at her company dinner and dance and she brought him but everyone assumed that she was unattached. I asked him why that was. He said, as the night went on, he found out later from her colleague that she was really carefree at work. Flirted with all the guys at work. Dressed quite seductively at times and was very forthright with guys. It seems that she was having two lives and keeping secrets from him. Before I could ask another question he interupted me and told me to wait till the story had ended.

The worse was yet to come. He told me that she was suppose to go to a company barbecue on one of the weekends and he couldn't come but in truth she had spent the weekend with her direct boss at a hotel. The same colleague, whom he got the number from, told him because he wanted an inside source and promised not to reveal names. They had a heated argument and it seems she denied everything. They argued for days over the phone and on several meetings. He told me he was hurt that they never slept together but she went with someone else and now they had broken up. His hand raise to halt me from asking questions. So I let him continue.

Then he goes on to tell me the colleague and himself were still in contact after that and the person happened to be female. They started talking on the phone for hours on end on a daily basis. Him pouring his feelings out to her about his broken heart and she trying to console him. Then he says they started going out and when it came to Christmas, they got a room. Sometime after they had made love and still in the nude, the door bell rang. She answered it and let in the guest but immediately went to the bathroom. The guy was shocked to see his ex-girlfriend there. The ex was stunned to see him with her colleague.

The girl emerged from the bathroom, all dressed, and shouted at his ex for being too friendly with the guy she really liked. The boss. She also accused her of getting the promotion by unscrupulous means. She revealed that she planned all of it from the start and how she injected stories and false information into his mind about his ex-girlfriend so she could hurt her the same way. She left after a bit more words.

The ex-girlfriend cried after that and as she looked at him she asked why he didn't trust her or believe her in the first place. Their relationship had been destroyed and what he did in the hotel room with the girl was the last nail in the coffin. She felt he was forever dead to her. She left crying and he was left to contemplate what had happened over all that time. What was happening to his life and why he mistrusted his girl in the first place? Will he be able to go picking up the pieces in his life?

Bar advice. Things like this do happen in real life and not only in movies. Sympathy for this guy is normal but I advised him certain things that I won't write here. Just be a witness to his story and learn.

Pumping up your sex life

Even if you're in or not in a relationship that long, her are some tips that can help with pumping up your sex life. Sometimes we get into routine if we've been together for sometime. Singles can take this as future lessons. Here we go.

Sleep naked
Even Posh Spice does it. Sleeping in the buff might not get you more sex, but it will add an element of sensuality to your bedtime routine. Every time you brush up against each other, you'll feel soft, smooth skin and you know what that could lead to. Especially on chilly nights.

Sexy bedtime story
Take turns reading sexy books or articles. Something like the Kama Sutra to get in the mood. Stimulate the mind, and your bodies will follow. Visit the sex or erotic literature section of a bookstore, or go online for more ideas.


Play dress up
Dressing up isn't just for Halloween. Does your partner fantasize about a hot nurse or a fireman coming to the rescue? Sharing fantasies and then finding ways to safely act them out can be a lot of fun. If you think you and your partner will just break into giggles, all the better. Laughing together helps couples bond and feel closer, so it's a wining situation for both.

Playthings
This will be a shopping spree that even most guys will enjoy. The Internet has made it easy to shop together for sexy toys in the privacy of your own home. Try searching for everything from fine leather to chocolate body sauce to fuzzy restraints. It's just for fun. You may not use them all the time.

Flattery gets everywhere
Nothing will snuff out your sex drive faster than feeling taken for granted. For couples, there's always the danger of growing a bit complacent. You can keep the embers of your love hot by making a point of complimenting each other at least once a day. Remember, men love words of flattery as much as women.

Switch off and switch on
Agree that one night it'll be all about you, and the next all about your partner. When it's their turn, remind them early in the day. You might even try whispering in their ear a little something you have in mind for later. They'll be looking forward to it all day long. Sometimes you also need to use a new method or position to excite your partner. He or she may not like it so you can remove it next time but you'll be appreciated for the effort.

Location
See who can come up with the most creative spot in the house to do it. What about on the washing machine, shower, sofa, dining room table, pool table, if you got it? Let your imagination run wild. If you want to get even more adventurous, consider places outside the home, like a hotel room, the beach or at the back of your car on a quiet street. The mile high club is always looking for new members.

Dancing
Bodies bumping. Hips shaking. Salsa or lambada moves is what you're going for here. Go out dancing or, better yet, take a dance class together. Try partner dancing. Once you know a few basic moves you'll find you both may just get turned on when listening to it in bed.

Supercharge your body
Couples often pass on sex not because they aren't in love or attracted to one another, but because they're too exhausted. Healthy habits like eating right, getting enough sleep and exercising can improve your sex life dramatically. Improving your sex life might also be as simple as crossing a few things off your list, so you have more time and energy for lovemaking. Consider what's more important for your happiness, a clean car or mind-blowing sex?

But we forgot to mention the first and most important step to getting more and better sex out of your relationship. Talk about it! If your partner uses a new technique or moves don't go thinking that it was learnt from another person. Maybe they took the time to find better ways to please you. Sharing these tips and your own ideas with each other might just be the thing to start the sparks flying. Most of all, have fun and remember to use your imagination.

Bar advice. Remember also to tell your partner, when having sex, that you're enjoying what they're doing at that moment so they will know what to do next time. Don't expect them to read your mind and lastly thank them for a great time, every time.

When Good Relationships Go Bad

This You Tube video is just highlighting some things that could happen that breaks a relationship between people. Funny thing is, the girl in the video hits the right but stupid things that could happen that makes people wonder why they got together in the first place.

Bar advice. If you ever made a mistake about someone before that you thought was "the one", just take it as a life lesson that you needed that's going to benefit your life ahead.

Asking for help

Why is asking for help so difficult? We need assistance but we just don't reach out. Instead we choose to suffer alone. With individualism running amok, one in four people say they have absolutely no one to confide in. How sad! Our ingrained independence is creating a culture of need and unprecedented isolation. Too many like to show independence in front of the boss or whoever works for them instead.

It doesn't have to be this way. Mastering the "Mayday" is a skill you can learn. Not only will it ease and enhance your life, it can deepen connections, reduce stress, restore energy and remind you that despite your grim determination to endure hardships, you are not alone. Here are simple ways you can seek help.

Ask early and often
Building your mayday muscles requires regular practice. With exercise you can become more comfortable in your requests and when you do ask for help, make sure you articulate. Clarify what you're looking for. From terms to time lines but be careful not to micromanage and don't wait till the last minute either. If you expect that you need help making the bills, don't wait until the end of the month to get assistance.

Believe
Faith grounds us heart and soul. Believe that you are not alone and that your needs will be met and you will be able to make your request for help. Your voice won't shake(or at least it will quiver less) and your request will be clear and strong. Rather than being filled with worry, you'll know that your needs will be met. You have the power to manifest.

Gratia
Remain grateful. Gratitude helps put your need into perspective. When you recognize all the blessings of your life, your need will be in proportion to those blessings. Gratitude will also help you to receive either the "yes" or the "no" response. Also, use the "three thanks" rule. Don't flub the thanks. Express your gratitude three times. When the agreement is struck, when the need has been met and the next time you see your helpmate.

Cast a wide net
Expand your list of helpmates. Look beyond the obvious. Family and friends and add some new names to the list. For instance if you need money to fund a project, keep in mind that there are organizations that are looking for you. When you do gather up the courage to ask for help, be attentive to the subtle cues behind a general "yes" or "no" response. People sometimes like to have more information before parting with their money. Is your potential helpmate willing or reluctant? Be honest with them. Remember, rejection is a part of life.

Intimate partner.
Sometimes we tend to take our partners for granted. We expect them to just drop everything and help us out. Think for a second. Would you, if asked? If the partner is just as busy, stretched out, pressured, over worked or whatever, it makes no sense to start a blow out argument in the relationship with your intimate partner and end up on the losing side. Seeking for help here may receive a "no" response. If it concerns both of you, surely the partner will do whatever is necessary to assist. However, sometimes it's because they don't want to get involved or because they're unable to help. Don't blame but seek alternative help. It's not worth damaging the relationship for something only YOU need help in.

Bar advice. We try to be independent but even the best and brightest people were never able to do it all on their own.