No feelings

I often hear people say that after going out with a lady once, how come she wouldn't want to go out with them again. If you guys are asking the same, you'd be treated with this 'final answer' that once and for all lays that question to rest.

A majority of the women coincidentally say, "Because there were NO FEELINGS" to the guy when the date ends. It may seem too unclear, so let's explore what does "no feelings" mean exactly when women say that. Firstly, when a woman goes out with a guy the first time, she's hoping it would be different on that new date as compared to other disappointing ones she went to. She secretly craves to feel some emotions on a date. Hopeful that the guy can spark some special interest in her. In cases where there's zero emotions generated, she tells her friends or colleagues the next day how much the date, or the guy, sucked. She also uses these words to get out of guys that are pester her constantly to go out or who she feels may disclose that he likes her.

Opposite is true too. When she did experience feelings on a date, she'll tell her friends how much she wanted to see that guy again. So, on an unspoken level, a woman wants to feel three primary emotions on a date.

1)She wants to feel you are interesting. That means having a 'thrill factor' and fascination associated with interacting with you. Most dates are called 'boring' by ladies simply because she experienced a lack of something new. As a guideline, the amount of giggling and smiles from the female is a fair measure of how interesting the experience is. Use that as a measurement device for the amount of interest you generate on a date. However, being interesting alone is not enough sometimes.

2)She wants feelings of getting attracted to you. Human beings have 'mating habits', just like any other species on earth. Within these mating habits, there are "rules" that define what makes a man "high mating quotient" and what makes him a person of "low mating quotient". The good news is, man is a 'self-correcting' species, with the ability to learn and turn from low to high mating quotient. On a date, it's your role to reflect the super male traits that women naturally get attracted to in a man. This is no bull. It's instinctive in females since the dawn of mankind and caveman days when trying to develope a realtionship.

3)She wants to feel she bonded with you. You may have the most interesting things to say, but if you don't know how to create closeness or bridge the gap between you and her, the date may not work out well. It's a pity when some guys go out with women and spend the whole day chatting but in the end nothing is done to pull close the distance. You may get a shot at another date but if it happens again you'll be pushed to the "friends" list in her book.

So, the date is simply a 'frame of time' that gives you an opportunity to bring about the above feelings in the gal. One thing's for sure, you'll definitely find yourself in dating situations with women in future. Since it's going to be unavoidable, try to masterfully ace that date. How; is going to be up to you guys really.

Bar advice. There will be times when a lady just 'clicks' with you right off the bat. Well, don't waste too much time thinking about what skills to use. Let things take a natural course.

The trill of being sought after

Going out with women on dates can result in the female having positive emotions about you. Only if you know how to make it not just an ordinary date but one that connects with thrills and emotion exchanges.

Some pointers here. Most guys miss the point. They sweat over which restaurant to bring the girl or which movie will be 'date friendly', etc. The real deal in getting the lady interested is in your interaction with her. Never ever come across like the last five typical dudes a lady has went out with. That doesn't mean you have to dress weird or speak with a funny voice but you must have an ability to inject the "fun factor" at various points during the date. When you're out on a date, you can't simply see yourself as just a 'possible suitor' for the lady. You have to be a "chemistry creator". Learn to "engineer" feelings of liking in women.

The point here is to be a little creative. Do new things that may influence her thoughts about you. Will she remember you after the date? What will her reaction be when she's meeting you the next time, if ever? Did she say she was thinking about you when you called her again? The fact is what you do or say is vital in leaving a good impression to have return invites to meet up with her and possibly further interactions that may also lead to intamacy.

Sometimes it's good to do something surprising. Sending flowers to her office for no reason is one. Why her office? Well, all her colleagues will start to envy her having a thoughtful and romantic guy. She'll smile all day and will be willing to meet up. Another way is showing up to take her to some place special. Now this is a bit tricky. Don't go picking her up when she's dressed all casual with hair and make up out of wack. She'll feel totally out of place with you all spiffy and she looking like drab. Make sure you call, and in the conversation, try to slowly find out what she's dressed like that day so you can plan properly.

Keep this in mind. Women that think they have the upper hand are happier in the relationship. They will play hard to get, although they actually like you. This is because they also like the "chase". They also like to see how well you are at catching their hearts. The trill of being sought after, the hunt, is a game played long ago by women for all time. It's not new and will continue till the end of time.

Bar advice. We guys just have to learn how to master some new ways to get what we desire. Women are not as complex if you just find those certain likes of theirs.

Questions about relationships

I’ve got one big question. It’s a question that will make everything in your relationship completely worthwhile. Even the bits that get on your nerves and cause you head and heart aches.It’s the type of question you wouldn’t ordinarily ask but that’s okay, because you didn’t know to ask it… until now!

For most people, relationships don’t go smoothly. Undercurrents, disputes, emotions, periods, children, habits, morals, values, work hours and workloads, these are just a few of the kind of things that can cause conflicts. But what if I told you something.What if I told you it’s not about the issue?

My philosophy is that no issue is bigger than the relationship. If we’re honest it’s never really the issue that causes the problem. What causes the problem is the emotions behind the issue and what causes the emotions?

What causes the our relationship conflicts is, at the core, very rarely the issue that’s in front of us now. This may seem hard to take at first so let me explain a little more.

When we react to something someone says or does we are in effect re-acting - behaving in way we acted before. This is what we might call learned behaviour. We may have learned that behaviour in a number of ways. Watching our parents behaviour in a relationship, seeing it on TV, school, older siblings or our own experience etc.

Are these learned re-actions appropriate in all circumstances?
I’d say no. A few days ago my partner made a sweeping statement that… well… to be frank, pushed all my buttons. What she said was like a red rag to a bull. Thankfully I caught myself before any real damage was done. I immediately knew there was nothing wrong with what she had said, or how she had said it. But the words she used, reminded me of someone else and a pattern of behaviour I ran with them. This is the type of conditioned, unconscious, response I’m talking about.

If your partner presses your buttons does it mean the relationship bad?Conflict doesn’t have to mean the relationship is bad. It can indicate that you, or your partner, or most probably both of you, on occasions, have some things that you need to become more aware of. If you can begin to view your relationship as a playground to work these things out, the relationship can become a whole new arena of fun and games. And this is where my question can really help.

My question will get you thinking about the how you can help yourself and your relationship become a harmonious haven rather than a gladiator’s ring. It will help you be a more understanding person for your partner and it will help to spare you from saying things you’ll regret later.

The question is profoundly simple. But when you ask it and use the outcome effectively you begin to take your relationship onto a new level.Things that used to cause you problems will vanish. And when new things come up they’ll have very little power.

When you find your buttons have been pushed the question you have to ask is this: What’s this really about?

Simple isn’t it. But it takes you right to the heart of the matter. As I said, relationship conflict is rarely about an issue and more to do with the conditioned responses.

By asking my question what you do is take the conditioned behaviour and transform it into the conscious. In effect what begins to happen is this. You move beyond the past conditioned response that causes conflict and are left with the current issue. This question allows you to understand what’s going on inside you. Knowing this means you can then bypass the past and deal with what is currently before you.

But what if you don’t want to move beyond the past? Then I guess you’ll continue to re-act it out until the pain and loss get the better of you. Change it and you and your partner will be free of this problem.

Bar advice. You and your partner should talk together. Get a mirror and help each other talk to your image in front of the other and ask those all important questions about yourselves and the relationship. Try it. It works!

Karma Sutra

Just in fairness for both guys and girls. I know some of you don't like to read so here you can get a better idea in the form of visual experience.

Pleas don't think that this is some sort of porn movie or something. it's been around for a very long time and the western world was really the one that brought it to light. These are some very interesting methods and advance ways to please your lover.

All of Bollywood have probably read it. Possibly even Hollywood. It is actually a educational video and gives better relationships and sex appreciation of partners.If you're into the whole romantic,erotic and sexual lifestyle then this is for you.

Bar advice.If you're not ready for this then I suggest that you go for the books first and slowly cross to the DVD. This sensual art of love making is also not know to most people either so I don't expect you to be an expert overnight.

What women are lookin for in men.

The behavior of women is as much of a mystery to men as men is to women. However, one thing is certain. The women love to be wooed. They want to be pursued. They want to be courted. They want men to try and win their affection.It’s a great psychological game that both men and women play. The winners enjoy it; the losers end up wondering what went wrong.

To end up as winner men need to understand what women want. Here is a list of seven qualities that every woman expects to see in their men:

Well groomed.
Do women pay attention to the way a man is dressed? Yes.Do women want men to open doors for them? Even in this age of liberalism they want and long for the days of chivalry.

Just as men like their women to be pretty and gorgeous, women like their men to be well groomed and stunning. They expect their men to be courteous, well behaved and well mannered. Among other things, they expect them to know the social graces. They also expect them to be well dressed, and in tune with the fashion of the day. Men who are loud or obnoxious are unlikely to win the attention of sensitive women. The same applies to those men who don’t pay sufficient attention to the way they look.

Good listener
Should men do what women want? Listen carefully to what a woman say.

All women want their men to pay attention to what they are saying. Men may not agree with their thinking but they should not make the mistake of looking bored or causal. They must pay attention, even if they don’t intend to do what their women want. The very fact that their point of view was considered before a decision was taken is enough to make the women happy. It is the basis of a strong relationship.

Good in bed.
What do women want in bed? If you think it's just the sex,think again.Do women like to be forced?How can women be made happy?

Every woman wants her man to be good in bed. They want to be aroused, and to be sexually fulfilled. The relationship has to be equal in the bed. The man must make an honest effort to fulfill the sexual needs of his women He should, however, not take advantage of a relationship. But he should respect those days when the woman wants to stay off. Women don’t like to be pushed into sex unless they are in a mood to do so. They would much rather prefer being cajoled and cuddled instead of being rushed into sex.Women want the passion in it. Men just need a place.

Honest and sincere.
Do women want to know everything about their men? Should men tell everything to women?

Two qualities that women value in their men are honesty and sincerity. They don’t want their men to cheat on them or to hold back anything from them. They would like to be equal partners in both the joys and sorrows of their men. Very often men try to hold back their problems related to work or their finances. This is not a good policy. Women feel more wanted and involved when their men take them into confidence. Men should also not try to delude women into false notions. They must gently inform them of their problems without being blunt or cruel. No woman wants to be told that she is ugly, fat or dumb. But, at the same time, they would not like their men to lie to them about their looks.Worse thing.Being honest upfront will not be hard when skeletons in your closet come out.

Stable career
How important is financial stability? Are women after successful men?

Women want stability in their lives. They don’t want to be in a situation where they are forced to scrounge for favors. They would like their men to take care of all basic necessities of life. They would therefore prefer men who are successful and well organized. However, this does not mean that they want to hook the rich and the well placed. This is a wrong notion. Money and success alone is not enough to satisfy a woman.Just take Hollywood as an example.

Love for surprises.
Should men give lavish gifts to win the love of women?Gifts that women cherish the most.

No woman wants to be tied to home and children. She would like some excitement in her life. This is where men need to be imaginative and thoughtful. The surprises need not be big. They can be as simple as enjoying an evening at the theatre, followed by a dinner at her favorite restaurant or it can be driving down to a resort at the weekend. The joy is multiplied if these bonuses come unannounced.Watch her smile at the smallest and silliest thing you did to please her. They deal with emotions and sentimentality

Intelligent and witty.
Are witty men more charming?How does intelligence matter in a relationship?

Women like their men to charm them. They would like them to be intelligent and witty, who can liven up the evenings and make a room come alive. Men who are dull and boring or too obsessed with their own musings are unlikely to enchant women. Women like men who are willing to chat with them on their wavelength.Take Marilyn Monroe as an example. She was married to Arthur C Clark. The guy who wrote the book 2001 A space Odyssey. Not forgetting that she was later involved with the president of the US as well.

Bar Advice.Go and rethink about what your girl wants or needs and ask yourself this. What have I done recently to put a smile on her face? Now go do something about it.

Women and emotions

Have you ever heard someone say that women are really emotional? Well, it's true. And actually, everyone is very emotional... whether we like to believe so or not. We make emotional decisions and then justify our behavior with logic. Let me share something with you.

Whenever I go out with a girl, guys always try to come up and hit on her. It'll go really badly for them and at some point she will tell them that I can help them get better success with women because I teach men how to meet and date women.

The next thing I know, the guys are trying to convince her that she shouldn't be with me and that they are much nicer guys that she should be with. Then, they ask me for dating tips which they then try to use on my her.

It's pretty funny. I get a good laugh from it every time. And, it only makes them look like idiots and make her want to be with me more.This is why no matter how much you beg, whine, try to convince or logically justify or rationalize to a woman why should she be with you, it won't ever change her mind. She won't ever say, "Hey, that really makes sense, I think I'm compatible with you!"

This isn't a cloning lab. You aren't in a debate. You can't say, "I have good breeding, a good job and high apparent intellect... I think we'd make good natural companions" and expect anything but her to look at you funny before she walks away creeped out.

It'll never work. Just like no matter how much someone tries to convince you that she's hot and sexy, if you don't have beer goggles on, she'll still be nothing more. So, STOP TRYING TO CONVINCE WOMEN TO BE ATTRACTED TO YOU!

So, how do you get a woman attracted to you if you can't do it by convincing her logically?

You do it through emotions. She has to feel emotionally drawn towards you. You have to do all the things that I've been talking about.Be a challenge, tease her, be unpredictable, be interesting. That's the only way you'll make a woman feel attracted to you.If you walk up and a woman isn't instantly attracted to you, you need to press her emotional buttons. You need to be different than every other guy out there who tries to convince her to be attracted to them.

Let's talk about a few of these things.

Be a Challenge and teasing

Hot women are used to men coming up to them, giving them anything they want and then agreeing with everything that a woman says. I've had girls crawling all over me just because I disagreed with what they said and had an argument with them.

Hot girls are so bored with their life of guys doing anything for them that they want something new, some type of substance in their lives. Give it to them. Tease them about their clothes or their jewelry. Don't be worried about offending them.I even found Brenda some what close to this.

Be Unpredictable

Women have the same things happen every single time they go out. Before a guy even walks up, she knows exactly what the guy is going to say.And you know what? I do too! It's probably going to be some compliment that she's heard seven times already tonight followed by buying her a drink that he's going to force her to accept whether she wants one from him or not.

After that he's either going to try to come on to her so hard that she basically has to call security over or he'll be so unbelievably nice to her that she'll have to come up with an excuse like, "I have to go to the bathroom" in order to get away from him without hurting his feelings.

Do something different. Be interesting, fun, exciting, challenging, engaging, cool and indifferent. Don't let her know that you're interested in her by pushing it and showing her that her looks don't impress you.

Be Interesting

Have you ever talked about your job, school, your car or your family? Stop it! I'm getting bored just thinking about it!Have something interesting to talk about at any time. Have a good story that you can tell if your conversation dies down.

Take her somewhere that always has interesting things going on where you can talk about relevant things in the area. I like to go to shopping malls with crazy shops in them and try on really silly trendy clothing that you only see people on runways in fashion shows wearing.

Bar advice.Read some books or ebooks on comedy and have fun wherever you go. Do anything you can to be different than most guys and have a good time. A woman would rather be with a poor, funny, interesting guy than a rich, handsome, predictable guy any day of the week. Win their Hearts, Not their Minds.