How To Add Variety To Your Sex Life?

For the guys...

Lets talk about variety

Variety is the spice of life, and it is definitely a big one to transform your sex life!

So, how to add variety to your sex life?

Emotional Variety

This is the most important type of variety in sex. Some times you should go for a romantic experience. Start with a massage and spend loads of time with foreplay. Tell her how much you love her and how great it feels to make love to her. Other times you should give her the authoritative and dominant style. Playfully tear her clothes off getting in the door and talk dirty to her. Shake things it up! Don't give her the same emotional experience every time.

Fantasy 

Most guys don't have a problem with fantasy, especially since they are more likely to have seen porn online or seen magazines, etc but that is really fake. It's an industry that is driven on sexual stimulation combined with peoples sexual desire and curiosity that makes them money. So please don't think real women does what you've read or seen in porn. Some women might but that's not what should be applied here. 

Do you really understand how much (emotional) fantasy is involved in a woman's sex life? Women do and feel great if a guy can trigger this in the right way. Author Danielle Steele is the seventh best selling author of all time with 550 Million books sold because she knows how to turn a woman on emotionally.  If a woman picked up her book to read, they are immediately connected emotionally because she writes it that way. If guys can tap into this then your woman will be more into you.

Spontanaeity

Your sex life is dead in the water if it's just routine. Day in day out the same routine, time slot, sexual method, etc. Doom! There are many things one can do if you put your mind to it. If you're the sort that just takes her out once a week then go back and have your weekly romp in bed then it's all done and if this sounds like you...then you need to try some of these immediately!

• Wake her up with sex. (A slow morning approach before she wakes up. Fantastic!)
  
  
• Surprise her in the shower. (A woman likes privacy but intimacy and spontaneity wins)
  
  
• Pull over on the side of the highway and get it on in the car. (Simple and effective)
  
  
• Do it in the kitchen, the pool, the stairs, the back yard. (Sex around the house is fun)
  
  
• Take an afternoon off to do nothing but have sex. (Make sudden special time just for her)

Different Positions

I bet you thought when I mentioned variety earlier it meant different positions. Incredible sex isn't about putting her in the reverse upside down doggy style one night and the inverted spinning frogy style the next. Even the simple missionary style can be fulfilling if there is great connection on both emotional and physical levels. That being said, a little variety of positions can go a long way. By combining the emotional feed, fantasy and different approaches in your sex life, you can keep changing and making it exciting for both of you.

 Bar Advice. Where possible, sex should never be planned, made routine, or obligatory.

Sexual fantasies

The only reason why people keep their fantasies to themselves is because they fear that people will think of them as weird, crazy or something like that. Sexual fantasies may involve having sex in a public place or with a friend's partner or even violence and rape. Women may have 'fantasy sex' with several men at once, while men may show an inclination towards the extremes of virgins or prostitutes. Sometimes it's just our own small fetishes that we desire.

Sometimes a woman who 'dreams' about making love to another woman may fear she is a lesbian, while a man who 'dreams' about a prostitute may feel he is betraying his wife. The actual act did not occur so there is nothing to fear. This is actually just normal human traits. It can happen consciously or subconsciously. Can we control our minds from the neurons that feed these cravings or desires? Unless you're comatose and not know what's going on. Even in that state we can't tell if someone is fantasizing. People feel there's a link to this and real life dangers that they can pose to others because of their sexual behaviour and thoughts.

Some people convince themselves that they may act out such fantasies in real life or even that they are mentally ill. It is easy to understand why some people might feel guilt and concern about their fantasies. Nevertheless, having any particular fantasy is, by itself, generally not seen as an indication that a person has a psychological problem or personality disorder. We all got some sort of fantasy. It can be general like being super rich, being a celebrity or having a dream home. The main point is that even if those fantasies came true you'd still have sexual fantasies. It's something we all cannot escape from.

I'll bet that even holy men have them as well. We don't talk about this but we know that everyone is human. They may suppress them better than others but now and again they probably arise. There's no shame in this because it's part of our human essence. In fact if you're in a relationship, my advice is to talk to your partner. Get this topic out in the open. Make things start to fill those fantasies up. Find out what he wants and what she wants. This is probably going to fire up your sex life so much that you won't know left from right. Your love relationship is your special resource that aids your sexual relationship. I just ended another session of cyber sex with the same girl previously and again she masturbated and enjoyed herself. This fantasy between me and her is just beginning.

Now let's say your man makes a comment on a sexy outfit you both saw in a magazine. He's probably imagining the girl not the clothes but don't be offended. Take it as a opportunity to fill his desires. Find a way to get that outfit or like it and role play what he wants. If a women is checking out a guy dancing she may imagine herself as the seductive partner. Make your own teasing dance when you get home. Don't go blowing up and arguing about what she was looking at and why she's interested in the guy. That all doesn't make any sense and your role playing fantasies is short lived.

Even watching porn together, and I'm not suggesting anything illegal, will help both partners experiment with things that one may not have known about or was unwilling to do. Sometimes it may backfire as pain may be involved. Do what you're comfortable with. Illustrated books can also help. The Karma Sutra has been around a long time. There are things in there that you never even heard of, tried or did. Discussing the most erotic fantasies could also put you on the path to some juicy sex.

Anything to do with more than the two of you, for example threesomes or more, is entirely between the two of you. This I advise against if there isn't strong trust between both partners. Many a time one will accuse the other of doing things with someone else without them present. If you're into this sort of thing it is always best to be with the other present. If the bonds of trust are broken it's doomed. Listen here. If you're getting the permission to be with another person sexually in the presents of your partner why do you need to sneak of with someone alone? This is the life of swingers but I'll get into that another time

Having these secret fantasies come true will make you and your partner have a better sex life. Nothing gets stale and people tend to stay together in the relationship a long time. Why go anywhere else? If you can't do it all the time maybe you can work it out to a point that both of you can do it once a week or fortnightly. Maybe you can take turns to address your partners fantasy that way there's anticipation when it comes to your week. All said and done if there's to much going on like work, then just have normal passionate sex. Making love to the person you love in a passionate sexual manner far outweighs any fantasy that's in peoples minds.

Bar advice. Sometimes staying away from each other sexually for a short time can build to a more eager anticipation. Playfulness and build up to the event will be a fantasy all on it's own.