Phone sex

Now this is quite common in many countries that have the payment method where people call in to listen to someone tell them some fatasy and it "get's them off" but when normal people have phone sex; well, it can become a disaster.

There's some of us that can pull it off but many are just not sure what to say or how to turn on someone else if their not in their presence. The phone is a great tool but what do you do when faced with the fact that now your partner is going to sense that you got no sexual imagination or fantasies. It is difficult for some to express something mentally rather than pshysically especially with sex. Not uncommon.


Bar advice. This may not be for everyone but it can highten the sexual relationship of people that are in anticipation of the next time they make love.

Pumping up your sex life

Even if you're in or not in a relationship that long, her are some tips that can help with pumping up your sex life. Sometimes we get into routine if we've been together for sometime. Singles can take this as future lessons. Here we go.

Sleep naked
Even Posh Spice does it. Sleeping in the buff might not get you more sex, but it will add an element of sensuality to your bedtime routine. Every time you brush up against each other, you'll feel soft, smooth skin and you know what that could lead to. Especially on chilly nights.

Sexy bedtime story
Take turns reading sexy books or articles. Something like the Kama Sutra to get in the mood. Stimulate the mind, and your bodies will follow. Visit the sex or erotic literature section of a bookstore, or go online for more ideas.


Play dress up
Dressing up isn't just for Halloween. Does your partner fantasize about a hot nurse or a fireman coming to the rescue? Sharing fantasies and then finding ways to safely act them out can be a lot of fun. If you think you and your partner will just break into giggles, all the better. Laughing together helps couples bond and feel closer, so it's a wining situation for both.

Playthings
This will be a shopping spree that even most guys will enjoy. The Internet has made it easy to shop together for sexy toys in the privacy of your own home. Try searching for everything from fine leather to chocolate body sauce to fuzzy restraints. It's just for fun. You may not use them all the time.

Flattery gets everywhere
Nothing will snuff out your sex drive faster than feeling taken for granted. For couples, there's always the danger of growing a bit complacent. You can keep the embers of your love hot by making a point of complimenting each other at least once a day. Remember, men love words of flattery as much as women.

Switch off and switch on
Agree that one night it'll be all about you, and the next all about your partner. When it's their turn, remind them early in the day. You might even try whispering in their ear a little something you have in mind for later. They'll be looking forward to it all day long. Sometimes you also need to use a new method or position to excite your partner. He or she may not like it so you can remove it next time but you'll be appreciated for the effort.

Location
See who can come up with the most creative spot in the house to do it. What about on the washing machine, shower, sofa, dining room table, pool table, if you got it? Let your imagination run wild. If you want to get even more adventurous, consider places outside the home, like a hotel room, the beach or at the back of your car on a quiet street. The mile high club is always looking for new members.

Dancing
Bodies bumping. Hips shaking. Salsa or lambada moves is what you're going for here. Go out dancing or, better yet, take a dance class together. Try partner dancing. Once you know a few basic moves you'll find you both may just get turned on when listening to it in bed.

Supercharge your body
Couples often pass on sex not because they aren't in love or attracted to one another, but because they're too exhausted. Healthy habits like eating right, getting enough sleep and exercising can improve your sex life dramatically. Improving your sex life might also be as simple as crossing a few things off your list, so you have more time and energy for lovemaking. Consider what's more important for your happiness, a clean car or mind-blowing sex?

But we forgot to mention the first and most important step to getting more and better sex out of your relationship. Talk about it! If your partner uses a new technique or moves don't go thinking that it was learnt from another person. Maybe they took the time to find better ways to please you. Sharing these tips and your own ideas with each other might just be the thing to start the sparks flying. Most of all, have fun and remember to use your imagination.

Bar advice. Remember also to tell your partner, when having sex, that you're enjoying what they're doing at that moment so they will know what to do next time. Don't expect them to read your mind and lastly thank them for a great time, every time.

Sexual fantasies

The only reason why people keep their fantasies to themselves is because they fear that people will think of them as weird, crazy or something like that. Sexual fantasies may involve having sex in a public place or with a friend's partner or even violence and rape. Women may have 'fantasy sex' with several men at once, while men may show an inclination towards the extremes of virgins or prostitutes. Sometimes it's just our own small fetishes that we desire.

Sometimes a woman who 'dreams' about making love to another woman may fear she is a lesbian, while a man who 'dreams' about a prostitute may feel he is betraying his wife. The actual act did not occur so there is nothing to fear. This is actually just normal human traits. It can happen consciously or subconsciously. Can we control our minds from the neurons that feed these cravings or desires? Unless you're comatose and not know what's going on. Even in that state we can't tell if someone is fantasizing. People feel there's a link to this and real life dangers that they can pose to others because of their sexual behaviour and thoughts.

Some people convince themselves that they may act out such fantasies in real life or even that they are mentally ill. It is easy to understand why some people might feel guilt and concern about their fantasies. Nevertheless, having any particular fantasy is, by itself, generally not seen as an indication that a person has a psychological problem or personality disorder. We all got some sort of fantasy. It can be general like being super rich, being a celebrity or having a dream home. The main point is that even if those fantasies came true you'd still have sexual fantasies. It's something we all cannot escape from.

I'll bet that even holy men have them as well. We don't talk about this but we know that everyone is human. They may suppress them better than others but now and again they probably arise. There's no shame in this because it's part of our human essence. In fact if you're in a relationship, my advice is to talk to your partner. Get this topic out in the open. Make things start to fill those fantasies up. Find out what he wants and what she wants. This is probably going to fire up your sex life so much that you won't know left from right. Your love relationship is your special resource that aids your sexual relationship. I just ended another session of cyber sex with the same girl previously and again she masturbated and enjoyed herself. This fantasy between me and her is just beginning.

Now let's say your man makes a comment on a sexy outfit you both saw in a magazine. He's probably imagining the girl not the clothes but don't be offended. Take it as a opportunity to fill his desires. Find a way to get that outfit or like it and role play what he wants. If a women is checking out a guy dancing she may imagine herself as the seductive partner. Make your own teasing dance when you get home. Don't go blowing up and arguing about what she was looking at and why she's interested in the guy. That all doesn't make any sense and your role playing fantasies is short lived.

Even watching porn together, and I'm not suggesting anything illegal, will help both partners experiment with things that one may not have known about or was unwilling to do. Sometimes it may backfire as pain may be involved. Do what you're comfortable with. Illustrated books can also help. The Karma Sutra has been around a long time. There are things in there that you never even heard of, tried or did. Discussing the most erotic fantasies could also put you on the path to some juicy sex.

Anything to do with more than the two of you, for example threesomes or more, is entirely between the two of you. This I advise against if there isn't strong trust between both partners. Many a time one will accuse the other of doing things with someone else without them present. If you're into this sort of thing it is always best to be with the other present. If the bonds of trust are broken it's doomed. Listen here. If you're getting the permission to be with another person sexually in the presents of your partner why do you need to sneak of with someone alone? This is the life of swingers but I'll get into that another time

Having these secret fantasies come true will make you and your partner have a better sex life. Nothing gets stale and people tend to stay together in the relationship a long time. Why go anywhere else? If you can't do it all the time maybe you can work it out to a point that both of you can do it once a week or fortnightly. Maybe you can take turns to address your partners fantasy that way there's anticipation when it comes to your week. All said and done if there's to much going on like work, then just have normal passionate sex. Making love to the person you love in a passionate sexual manner far outweighs any fantasy that's in peoples minds.

Bar advice. Sometimes staying away from each other sexually for a short time can build to a more eager anticipation. Playfulness and build up to the event will be a fantasy all on it's own.

Appreciate your lover

We tend to overlook the things that are right in front of our face. Think about it, do you write your lover a thank you card for every little gift you're presented with? Probably not but you would never forget to write or say so to your mother for the same gesture.

Take stock of the things (and people) in your life that you're grateful for. Don't forget the person lying next to you. Ask yourself if you've shown your gratitude to the individual who brings you the most pleasure in life. Your lover! Here's some things that you can do do keep things hot and fresh and also appreciative.

Make a date.
Sometimes it's easy to take each other for granted. After all, you've got commitments, other people are counting on you and more. Your schedule is tight and when you get home from work or the late hours, you're exhausted! It's not exactly hot love time and it's certainly not time for planning.

The good news is, your lover knows this because most likely, they're feeling it too. So, if you really want to make them feel special, schedule some time to show them a little appreciation. How that manifests is up to you but a full body massage, a hot soak in the tub (together!), dinner late night by candlelight are all easy options that don't require much effort, yet they speak volumes. What you're going for is something that says It's just you and me, babe! The gesture (whether naughty, nice or some saucy combo) will help remind them that, even when you're torn in a many directions, they're still first and foremost in your head and heart.

Technological advances.
Whether it's via cell phone, text message, email or IM, these days, we're all accessible at the touch of a button. Oftentimes the constant communication can be annoying. We come to expect requests and lists at any time of day and mid-day messages become just one more thing to add to our already over scheduled lives but we're all willing to be surprised! In addition to easy access, technology also offers us a chance to say the things we otherwise might not have the courage to say… In other words, a chance to talk dirty without fear of embarrassment!

Just when your partner thinks you're messaging to say, "Can you pick up the dry cleaning?" or that you'll be late coming home. Surprise them with something sexy and suggestive. Bonus points if it's a promise for when they get home!

Fantasies do come true.
If you've been paying attention, your lover probably has, at some point or another, expressed an interest in something romantic. Think back. If it wasn't directly stated, did they ooh and ahh over a commercial you've seen or a story they've read? Did you notice them quietly raise an eyebrow at something risque? Sometimes, it's easier to figure out what they'd like than you think. Be open to clues that they generate but keep it to yourself.

Is there anything that you haven't acted on yet? A desire to be served breakfast in bed, perhaps, or one to be pampered with a relaxing foot massage. Maybe it's something more scandalous like indulging in a sexual fantasy via role-play or something more naughty. Now is the time to act on it. No matter what you do to show appreciation to your one and only, it will be worth the effort!

Bar advice. There are many more ways as well. If both keep this cycle of constant appreciation the journey together will be a joyous one.