What's the state of your relationship?

What's the state of your relationship? Yours may have romance, love and a greatly understanding partner but there's a possibility the relationship may fail. What can you do to help your relationship?

Don't nitpick, as everyone has a tendency to do this. Stop looking at their peculiar habits and this will help you to enjoy their company more. You're not your partners parent. Talk about these things.




Try discussing any issues which you may face with your partner. Solve the problem instead of dumping it, leaving then coming back to argue even further. The problem is still there, earlier or later, but later it may get worse so nip it in the bud before it escalates

People who select the wrong partner find it difficult to settle in the relationship. Weigh all the advantages and disadvantages on who will be an ideal person in your life. Changing someone to your needs or idealism can be difficult and a strain on the feelings of the heart hen things start to sour because of poor choices.

To really make things work you must accept the flaws of your partner as no one is perfect. Before you both met you were different people leading different lives and acceptance of silly, crazy and sometimes irritating things the other one does is all part of the process of the work in the state of the relationship.

Bar Advice. Do not be jealous when meeting their ex or when a person in previous relationship is mentioned. Before you became a couple other people were in your lives...remember that.

Getting her alone

When in any social setting such as a club or bar, you'll want to separate the girl you like from her friends. Once she's separated from her friends, it's just a matter of building a bond and connection with her but how many times have you had a woman pulled away from you in a club by one of these friends? How many times have her friends interrupted your conversation and pulled her away with the "we're going to the bathroom" routine? How many times have you seen a friend barge in between and say,"She's my girlfriend", and leaves with the woman you want?

How many times have your intentions been thwarted by the dreaded,"My friends want to leave?" and the last thing you see is her looking back at you with a face that says, "Sorry! I like you but I have no choice but to leave!" You see, women are not as in control of their lives as you might think. Women, especially beautiful women, rely on their social network of friends and family to protect, comfort, and support them. They seek advise on all matters when in doubt. A woman's social network of people she's with is a influence on her, even if it limits her choices in terms of who she can date, have sex with, or even talk to. On top of that, beautiful women hardly go out alone. They tend to go out in groups of two or three to prevent each other from the constant and never ending onslaught of guys trying to get into their pants thus removing her from her friends is a must.

The irony is that if you approach women, they say their looking for a guy to meet. However, the social dynamics of her peer group control her choices. So how do you take a woman away from her friends so that you can bond and connect with her? After all, you can't just steal her. The problem is two fold. Her friends and her. Her friends might become jealous of all the attention she gets from you. They may be protecting her from being hurt after her last relationship issues. They might be possessive of her. They might be dealing with their own issues with guys that may have hurt them in the past. They may have lesbian desires that even the woman doesn't know about. Whatever the case is with her friends, understand that they're often in protection mode. Protecting the woman you desire from winding up with the wrong kind of guy, again possibly.

On the other hand, she's all caught up in thinking,"What do my friends think?". "What will they say if they see me with him?". "What if they think I'm a slut!?". You can neutralize these issues by including her friends in the conversation and getting them to like you. Start off with more coversation with them. Don't be afraid to ignore the girl you like a little and pay more attention to entertaining and getting along with her friends. This alone will both satisfy the friends desire for attention that they hardly get because their pretty friend is usually the one in the spotlight and also increase her liking you by getting her a little jealous of her friends taking some of the attention away.

Use stories, techniques, and routines to come across as successful, intelligent, fun and a nice guy to her friends. If her friends think you're a cool guy, they will not stand in your way when you want to spend some time with the girl you like alone. They are, without even realizing it, giving you their acceptance, approval, and permission. Unknowingly but willingly. Sometimes, her friends will even do the hooking up for you. They'll start telling you all about her. The woman you're seducing will see her friends now like you, so her normal thought pattern change to thoughts like, "I want to be associated with a successful, intelligent,and funny guy like him". "Look how my friends pay attention to him, laugh with him, and like him". "I better take him away from them before they get any ideas". "He's mine!"

See the difference it makes when you make her friends comfortable? Now you can safely get her friends permission to talk with her privately without worry about being cock blocked. Say to the girl's friends, "Hey, we seem to get along pretty well, do you guys mind if we go over there to talk?" They'll all agree and even urge her. Now bring her to a quiet corner and sit down with her alone. Now you can relax, lay back, and concentrate on getting to know the girl more intimately. Importantly, this time you used the power of her friend's influence over her to further your goals. There's no need to waste anymore time starving in the dating wasteland.

Bar advice. It may get a bit tricky with men friends around than with all women friends but it can still work provided there's no other guy that's interested in her or they're trying but not succeeding.

Verbal abuse

A guy that lives around my neighbourhood is always making his wife feel like shit. He always has some form of verbal abuse toward her. They can be in a coffee shop and he'll be talking loudly and putting her down so others can hear. In the shops buying things and he'll raise his voice to make it seem like she's either spending too much of his money again or he'll make her look stupid like she doesn't know which brand item to buy. He's never embarrassed that everyone will be looking and continues till they reach home or till he's satisfied.

People like this may or may not know that they abuse their partners and it can be classified as a medical problem but I believe that it starts from young. How you were raised? What your parents, family members or teachers thought you and how you were disciplined.

These are people that want to be in a superior position at all times and make sure that everyone knows that they are the head of the household. They feel that if they allow anyone to talk back, interrupt them, debate or even tell them off; they'll be disrespected. They cannot accept this and thus will rule their domain and all in it with an iron fist. The relationship to them is something sealed and cannot be broken and they believe this permits them to do as they please. Say as the please. Ridicule and embarrass as they please.

There are also those that abuse with physical violence. Most of the time the violence will be inside the home as they don't want others to see it and there will not be any proof if the law is called. Verbal abuse in and outside the home tends to be at all times as it is not against the law. The verbal abuse can sometimes be so demeaning or highly embarrassing that the woman knows not where to face when she's in public. Every direction she turns will have a face staring back at her but none able to rescue. What does she do? Only to look downwards to the ground but that normally entails the abuser to get more angry and abusive because he wants her to be embarrassed. He wants her face to be seen by others. He just wants to "put her in her place" for no rhyme or reason whatsoever.

He flaunts his "power" over her and he also wants others to see it. When he's alone and in public, he's "Mr nice guy" with everyone. The worst thing is that everyone thinks he is since they have not seen his abuse or any of that behavior. They will accept him as someone that's normal in society. Question is, why can he not be like this towards his partner? Lots of times this abuse also extends toward the children and he uses them to inflict harm onto his wife more so because the tendency is she will be protecting them against any abuse.

We also should look at women that abuse their husbands. It's a true fact. Although there are far fewer cases but it does exist. Laugh if you like but there are women out there that make their husbands look like complete idiots or puppets. They "mother" them and do things that embarrass them in public as well. This tends to be in places like supermarkets and restaurants. Worse place will be at family get togethers like holidays or birthdays. They let everyone know that their man is hen pecked. He's got to bite his lip and accept it. They don't accept any "back talk" either. There's "hell" to pay if she gets she doesn't get her way. She wants all the other women, and men, to see that she's in charge. She's the one that wears the pants in the family. What she says goes in her household.

All these people seem to have a power struggle problem. They accuse, are possessive, jealous and insinuate things so as to create issues and cause these relationship problems and abuse. They can never allow anyone to have a moments peace. These people need this sort of things to feel alive. They may have been abused as a child themselves or never received the proper discipline when they were young. Also, it could be due to them being punished too harshly as a kid or they had fears that causes them to act in this manner. These fears are psychological and is deep within and it's exerted verbally or physically to people that they love. There are so many medical reasons that can be added but I still firmly believe that it all starts from a young age and is adopted so.

Living with people like this can be hard and painful. Sometimes it's best to get family members involved so everyone can assist. Domestic violence and abuse is difficult for everyone to confront. An intervention of this nature can backfire with violence from the abuser on everyone but it may be necessary. One should always report the abuse to the police. Separation may be necessary. What ultimate decision can later be attained. Moving out is one of the better options and divorce, after much consideration may be needed if there's irreconcilable differences.

Those in single relationships facing such problems should tell someone about it in case things escalate to serious difficulties. Trying to solve the problem is amicable but it's not an overnight result type deal. The abuser didn't get that way in a day. There may be deeper issues that even takes psychiatrist years to uncover or resolve. Don't go thinking that your love can change the person. You're in for a rude shock. In most cases the abuse only start when they are settled deep into the relationship. Be alert. Be aware.

Bar advice. Stay clear if you are involved or getting involved with someone like this. If it happened once be sure it's not going to end anytime soon.