Intense pressure

Here's a sentence of what was said not too long ago in a conversation with a few guys. "The women you want, you can't have and the women you can have, you don't want." How true can this be, or is it even? A sad fact but intense pressure about getting girls has been around for a long time now.

I think that most guys have had that experience of being chased by a girl that they're just not interested in. She's usually a friend, classmate or co-worker that we're NOT attracted so we treat her like one of our guy friends. We're not trying to hook up with her, so we're not afraid to joke around or be bold with her, challenge her, the stuff that most guys don't do around girls they're attracted to. So guys inadvertently draw in women, it's just they don't do it purposely to the women they want to attract. Funny but true, again.

In order to improve your dating success with drop dead gorgeous women you need to change. If you are not getting the results you desire with women then something needs to change. This is obvious but it may not be "changing" in the way that you think. Often men already have the personality traits needed to attract beautiful, funny and intelligent women but the problem isn't that men don't have confident and outgoing personalities, most of us do, but the problem is that we don't show our best side to women we are interested in.

Since the beginning of time men have always wondered how to please and win them over to become the sole provider for her. Men have tried all sorts of things in their determination to get a particular woman. They use pickup lines. They buy them gifts and they slave to do anything for the woman. Men end up doing things for women that they would never otherwise do. What men don't realize is that these things are actually manipulation to get something from women. Would you act this humble and nice for a woman you weren't sexually interested in? What men are doing here is changing for the wrong reasons. They change the way they talk. They change the way they act. They change their sense of humour. Actually in most cases they kill any sense of humour as soon as they start talking with a woman they want to get romantically involved with.

How does a man act around his male buddies? He's funny, laughing, enjoying himself and he makes fun of his friends and jokes around. Then the guy suddenly see a stunning woman in the distance and decides to go talk to her but unlike the way he interacted with his friends. Now he stops being funny. He stops laughing. He stops playfully making jokes and he becomes Mr.Serious. Why do guys CHANGE in these certain circumstances when surrounded by beautiful women?

The intense pressure the man places on himself to 'get the girl' becomes huge. He wants the woman so bad that he stops doing things that might be too risky in order to date her. What he doesn't realize is that by speaking in a boring way, constantly complimenting on her striking appearance and giving her whatever she wants he presents a BORING personality to the woman. The man presents a fake and boring personality that the woman can't stand! Of course this isn't how he usually acts. Only when he is in the presence of women he is romantically interested in. Think to yourself, if you were an amazingly gorgeous woman would you like guys who come up to you and talk to you about the weather, their job or other plain topics that have no spice? No! You would think, "How can I get away from this guy as fast as possible?"

Women like to be subtle about their non-interest for a man. So when a woman tries to give a man the *hint*, he sadly never gets it. He wonders why she doesn't call, why she keeps talking about another man or why she wants to be "just friends"? Ultimately when men change they lower their chances of success. See, when you are interested in a woman it doesn't matter if you're a great funny and interesting guy, unless you can show that to her. There is no point trying to make friends with a woman or holding back your true personality until later, because by then it will already be too late. Here's an amazing secret you must understand how to be outrageously successful with women.

If you talk to a woman for a few minutes and she has NO sexual interest towards you, it will be almost impossible to change it later. So when you're talking with women think about how you are acting. Is it the same way you would act around your friends or are you changing yourself to try and date her? Pay attention to how you act and speak around women and do a little self analysis to determine if that's how you would act around your friends. "Am I being interesting? Am I being fun? Would I joke around and be playful like this with my buddies?" You'll be surprised.

Bar advice. If you "check" yourself to act the same way as with the guys, you'll find that women see you that same way as well and that's why they liked you.

Getting her alone

When in any social setting such as a club or bar, you'll want to separate the girl you like from her friends. Once she's separated from her friends, it's just a matter of building a bond and connection with her but how many times have you had a woman pulled away from you in a club by one of these friends? How many times have her friends interrupted your conversation and pulled her away with the "we're going to the bathroom" routine? How many times have you seen a friend barge in between and say,"She's my girlfriend", and leaves with the woman you want?

How many times have your intentions been thwarted by the dreaded,"My friends want to leave?" and the last thing you see is her looking back at you with a face that says, "Sorry! I like you but I have no choice but to leave!" You see, women are not as in control of their lives as you might think. Women, especially beautiful women, rely on their social network of friends and family to protect, comfort, and support them. They seek advise on all matters when in doubt. A woman's social network of people she's with is a influence on her, even if it limits her choices in terms of who she can date, have sex with, or even talk to. On top of that, beautiful women hardly go out alone. They tend to go out in groups of two or three to prevent each other from the constant and never ending onslaught of guys trying to get into their pants thus removing her from her friends is a must.

The irony is that if you approach women, they say their looking for a guy to meet. However, the social dynamics of her peer group control her choices. So how do you take a woman away from her friends so that you can bond and connect with her? After all, you can't just steal her. The problem is two fold. Her friends and her. Her friends might become jealous of all the attention she gets from you. They may be protecting her from being hurt after her last relationship issues. They might be possessive of her. They might be dealing with their own issues with guys that may have hurt them in the past. They may have lesbian desires that even the woman doesn't know about. Whatever the case is with her friends, understand that they're often in protection mode. Protecting the woman you desire from winding up with the wrong kind of guy, again possibly.

On the other hand, she's all caught up in thinking,"What do my friends think?". "What will they say if they see me with him?". "What if they think I'm a slut!?". You can neutralize these issues by including her friends in the conversation and getting them to like you. Start off with more coversation with them. Don't be afraid to ignore the girl you like a little and pay more attention to entertaining and getting along with her friends. This alone will both satisfy the friends desire for attention that they hardly get because their pretty friend is usually the one in the spotlight and also increase her liking you by getting her a little jealous of her friends taking some of the attention away.

Use stories, techniques, and routines to come across as successful, intelligent, fun and a nice guy to her friends. If her friends think you're a cool guy, they will not stand in your way when you want to spend some time with the girl you like alone. They are, without even realizing it, giving you their acceptance, approval, and permission. Unknowingly but willingly. Sometimes, her friends will even do the hooking up for you. They'll start telling you all about her. The woman you're seducing will see her friends now like you, so her normal thought pattern change to thoughts like, "I want to be associated with a successful, intelligent,and funny guy like him". "Look how my friends pay attention to him, laugh with him, and like him". "I better take him away from them before they get any ideas". "He's mine!"

See the difference it makes when you make her friends comfortable? Now you can safely get her friends permission to talk with her privately without worry about being cock blocked. Say to the girl's friends, "Hey, we seem to get along pretty well, do you guys mind if we go over there to talk?" They'll all agree and even urge her. Now bring her to a quiet corner and sit down with her alone. Now you can relax, lay back, and concentrate on getting to know the girl more intimately. Importantly, this time you used the power of her friend's influence over her to further your goals. There's no need to waste anymore time starving in the dating wasteland.

Bar advice. It may get a bit tricky with men friends around than with all women friends but it can still work provided there's no other guy that's interested in her or they're trying but not succeeding.

Bad boys all women want

You may have noticed around you, there's a 'breed' of man who ladies tend to be attracted to or stick with. He's conventionally called the 'bad boy' or the 'not so nice guy'.

Call such a man whichever way but the fact remains, such men with a 'taint of badness' have more desirable female activity around them. Let's first define something. A bad boy is not a bad person. In the "real-world sense", the word 'bad' when describing a man, brings up associations of a guy who abuses dogs or holds a bunch of criminal records. In the "attraction sense", 'bad' is not about nastiness, ill-doing or the mafia. It's just a guy who gives women a perceived feeling of "thrill". Another way to phrase it(as described to me by a female) is, such men are "naughty in a charming way".

What differentiates him from other guys is his natural ability to flirt with women without trying. He teases all women. Be it work mates, ordinary lady friends or the lady(she's trilled) who washes the toilet and it seem to be the happy guy who's unaffected by things. He didn't even realised this himself. He tends to be cool and suave naturally. Women want to look at him or get to know him. It just comes automatically. He'll say stuff that gets laughter out of ladies and while they're still in the middle of a giggling fit, he'll say to them in a jokingly stern manner to stop laughing like a five year old and get more laughs. With that, he gets smilingly registered as a 'bad boy' by many females and they like him. The fact that he admits to girls he's always been naughty since he was a kid makes it much more inviting and stirs all sorts of curiosity in women. One question you may have is "Do I have to be a 'bad boy' to attract females"?

No! Take the example of the movie Hitch. Some don't look anything like the imaged 'bad boy' but they incorporate elements of the bad boy naughty appeal into their interactions with ladies and still attain huge success. It's all about having conversation with females not just as chatting but seeing it as a process of blasting attraction and appeal in her mind during the interaction. In the course of movies, television and real life history we always see this happening. Women do like to be seen with, in conversation with and in bed with that little 'bad boy'.

Bar advice. Even the funny, simple, shy girl who ends up in a relationship or marriage with the simple 'Joe' or classroom nerd, has a secret desire for her own 'bad boy'. It's natural.

What not to do on first dates

This may surprise you, but you shouldn't take women on dates. That might sound strange, doesn't it? If you take a woman to dinner and a movie, you're asking to be strung along like a book club member. You set yourself up for all sorts of mistakes and you're just begging for uncomfortable silences and boring conversation.

You can make it work but you'll just make yourself work a lot harder. So what should you do instead? Well, best case scenario you create an instant date. You go from meeting up to going somewhere, together. This can mean moving from the bookstore to a coffee shop, one club to another or often, to begin, just leading a woman from one part of a bar to another. maybe the bar counter to the pool table, to a seat or patio area for fresh air.

Create a powerful move. Say you want to tell or show her something. Maybe it can be about something you want to show her at your house, like an album or a book. (Done subtly, this is a great way to lead to your place). Take her hand and lead her to a more secluded spot in the home. Don't put your hands all over her you'll look desperate and a perv. Once you've led her somewhere, you've shifted the world a little bit because you are together, alone. Maintain strong eye contact. Speak in a quieter, confidential voice (the kind she wants to lean in to hear). Set yourself up that way, and it should be much easier to get things moving. The important thing is that you concentrate not on getting a woman to bed, but on moving to the next step.

Once you've got a connection, next is changing settings so you reaffirm and strengthen that connection. This is good in so many ways. It gives you a chance to get to know the girl quickly, which is impressive when it happens quickly, plus it let's you figure out if the lady is worth your time before you've invested much effort. It should feel natural. It's low-pressure fun. Spontaneous, without expectations or commitments. It's just great. Not to mention it allows you to set the pace you proceed at.

Initially, don't ask her to dinner. If possible, don't even ask her in advance. A spontaneous meeting at a coffee shop or going shopping in a flea market with built-in conversation is great. Make sure you're going somewhere fun. The kind of place with strange knick-knacks all around so you're conversation can naturally flow from your surroundings. Why do extra work when you can let the atmosphere help you? Maybe miniature golf. You don't need skills for that and if you are good, it gives you the opportunity get behind her and show her how to play.

One key thing is , Don't Pay All! Especially with a woman you've just met. Paying says all the wrong things. In the old days it was the "gentlemanly thing" to do but it's different in this day and age. Women will read it different ways. It says "I'm not interesting, so I'm bribing you to spend time with me." Also, "I want to prove I'm good guy material by showing off my financial success." The corollary, "I'm insecure, so like a man with a small penis and a hot sports car, I'm trying to buy myself some confidence." Worse still, "I don't really know you, but I think you're hot so I'm going to try and buy my way into your pants." Equally cringe worthy, "I just paid for you. Now what are you going to do for me?". The part about you being a gentleman just skips the ladies minds at times.

The biggest reasons to avoid the dinner date, at least to begin, is not creating an awkward social setting with someone you barely know. You basically force all sorts of uncomfortable thoughts about the money involved. My advice. Coffee? Who cares about a couple of bucks? Shopping? You're not going to buy her something, are you? That smells of bribery worse than dinner, and you'll just make her uneasy. Avoid putting yourself in situations where the issue of payment comes up, and you'll avoid this whole can of worms.

Bar Advice. More conversation are needed first. Be it the phone, messenger, emails, PC cams or whatever. Be comfortable and you'll both be at ease. These awkward issues can be resolved even before going out.

Breaking the silence in conversation

We all may have had this happen to us once before or for some, still. You happen to see a girl or guy at and you know he or she likes you but when you finally come close and say your quick hello, the conversation dies. There's a wall of silence that some how pops up. Thoughts race in your minds like what to say next. Does that person like me? There's nothing being said he/she must think I'm a complete idiot.

Things like this happen so what can we do about it? Here are a couple of tips to keep handy. My advice is to store some knowledge about things that they show in National Geographic, Discover Channel or Lonely Planet. There's a host of subjects that you can talk about and you can keep yourself well informed about interesting subjects. Start off by asking where the person has traveled before or went on holiday. What was the culture like? Where will they like to visit next? This may lead to you discussing about making plans on going there together.

Simple one is movies. Lots of people watch them so it's a no brainer that you got lots to talk about. Find out if the person likes comedies, romance, period dramas or whatever the fancy is. Discuss your favourites. Which stars do they like? Also move to TV shows as lots of people have likes and dislikes of certain shows. If you want to talk about music that could be good as well because there's lots of entertainers to talk about. See how the conversation gets moving. As it continues it will feel more pleasant. Just remember to give the other a chance to talk so as well.

Another one you can talk about is festive days. Ask what they did last Christmas or what their New Year's resolution was. This generally leads to why they did or made the resolution at the end of that year. It normally is because they year may have been bad and they wanted to change things. Most people are glad to just purge themselves so they are willing to bring up all the stuff that they dislike and off load it to any listening person. Let them do most of the talking. you'll find that you just became their 'best friend' when you become a sympathetic listener to them.

Remember one thing as you get further into conversation. Your main interest was getting to know the person better so as conversation deepens you must also add the attraction factor into it. Underline your conversations, from time to time, with sublime suggestions. By this I mean that your main thoughts should be to add to the attraction of the person and getting him or her to be more interested in you. Where possible add suggestions about going somewhere together. Maybe a holiday, watching a movie or getting a couples massage spa treatment. If you can reach that last one, you've scored big.

Don't get me wrong. Those are just suggestions that will help out but there's lots of other stuff you can use. The main thing is to keep handy some of these so the silence won't be visible and you don't look or feel like a complete idiot. Please don't go researching on topics like lymphatic nodes disorders to make yourself sound wiser. The silence will definitely be worse and you can hear a pin drop after because the other person won't have a clue how to respond to you. Your voice will be the only thing you'll hear and you would have forced the silence into the other person. Don't make the other person seem stupid. The point is to talk about things that are more common and the conversation flow will be a two way street.

Bar advice. The silence can be broken if you just open your mouth and if you got a whole bag of topics to discuss.

Items you need when meeting women

The items you carry can make all the difference in the world when it comes to meeting women. In other words, you have to like a boy scout, and always be prepared. By carrying certain things, you'll find that it's a lot easier to engage women in conversation and impress them.

Here are just a few things you should have on you when you're out meeting women.

A Camera
Having a camera is a great way to capture great moments and show you're having fun with your friends. One trick is to ask an attractive girl nearby to take a picture of you and your friends. Then once she takes the picture, say something funny and initiate a conversation. Please don't go asking if you can take nude shots of her.

A Lighter
Even if you don't smoke, carry a lighter. By having a lighter, you can easily initiate a conversation with a girl if she is a smoker and needs a light. Don't take it out and play with it as some women are put off by smokers so you'll loose out if she's that sort.

Gum and Breath Mints
The quickest way to turn-off a woman is to have bad breath. To prevent this, you should carry an assortment of breath mints and gum. Usually mint flavor gum or Altoids can dramatically improve any body's breath. Drinkers especially need this or if you just had dinner with lots of garlic.

A Pen or Cell Phone
In order to get a girl's number, you should have a device that will help you quickly jot it down. If you don't have anything you'll look like an amateur when you're wandering around asking people if they have a pen. By carrying a cell phone or pen, you can quickly grab a woman's number while maintaining your conversation. If using a pen, you should keep small bits of paper in your wallet as well.

Condoms
Obviously you know what a condom is used for. Yet many guys make the mistake of not carrying this simple item. In this age of sexually transmitted diseases, it's an absolute must to always have protection. Don't take the risk of disease by not carrying condoms on you. Also she may fear you if you want to risk not using it. By not carrying it you will have to go to a store to buy with her in tow and she may be embarrassed with the storekeeper looking at her. The whole mood will be changed.

Bar advice. It's important to be prepared for the common things that occur when you're meeting women. Carrying these simple items prepares you for any situation.

Meeting new people

This one is a little short as I'm running out of time at the moment. Last weekend it was raining a little. Business was alright for a while. Nice people were coming by the bar. Things were going well.

Later in the night two girls and a gentleman arrived and got a table. Got their orders and later was doing other stuff. I kept looking at this girl Grace, I got her name later that night, because she sat facing me. I recognized her from the last time she came. The guy as well actually. The other girl was there the first time.

Suddenly it begin to rain down hard. Others that were outside came inside as well. it was alright for a while but it begin to rain even harder. I got out a squeegee to push water that was coming in and flooding the floor a little. Just then Grace begin to talk to me. What else to start a conversation but to talk about the weather. I thought to myself,"smart girl". I kept going back and forth a little doing things to secure the place from the rains and dropped a sentence or two every time I passed the table.

I knew that I was running out of things to do near them so I gave it one last suggestion to her. I told her that if the water was a problem that they should come to the bar counter where it was dry. I, of course being behind the bar, wanted her to come over. She stayed there with them for a while but eventually she got up and did move to the bar counter with them. Immediately she engaged into conversation with me. It didn't matter that the two others were there. She seems to be this little ball of fire that was really so sweet looking. Hot as well and intelligent.

Later we got into this guessing game about where they were from and I guessed correct that she and the other girl were from the Philippines and the guy was from France. The guessing about age sort of shot me down when I guessed her older than she actually was. We did the whole zodiac sign thing. I really just wanted to dig a little more about her character. Several occasions she mentioned that they were all just friends. In conversation, several times, she reached out to touch me on the arm that was leaning on the counter but than again she held hands with the french guy as well.

I was wondering what was going on. Are they together? Anyway, she happen to fall between two zodiac signs. Ones that I like and am at the same time. We talked about relationships and such because she was stunned that I wasn't married or had ever been. I finally told her about this blog as well and the moment she asked for the url, I also managed to get her email address. Luck I guess.

This exotic creature is so bubbly. Fun and alive and seems so happy unfortunately it looks like she may leave her sales job here to join Emirates airlines later. Can't blame her for thinking about her future. Hope she does well.

Bar advice. Some women know when someone likes them and some know what they want. She said she'll read the blog so Grace of you're reading. Cheers!

Touching someone

Last Saturday Kat messaged me on my cell phone because she thought I was not opening the bar. Actually I opened late a little and she came up to see me. I was setting up the tables when she arrived. She sat there and started smoking. Just as I turned to ask her a question she lit another cigarette using the end of the first one before stubbing it out.

She must have missed smoking for a week and the fact that she would be going to her salsa classes probably made her smoke more. Where she sat had only two chairs. She sat on one and placed her bag on the other. When I joined her she was going to move the bag but I told her that I'd get another chair. The reason was that I could sit nearer and next to her. She smiled as I sat next to her. It was obvious that she knew that I knew that she knew what I was doing. It's called making a 'move'.

Even for someone like my self, touching someone is hard sometimes. The whole animal instinct of guys starts to emerge and women sense the tension that both people have. Don't get me wrong, we haven't done anything but, I do think that we like each other and we are comfortable chatting about anything. Touching just adds to the comfort zone. What's wrong with it? Absolutely nothing. I still got to remember that she's my customer although now a friend as well.

I sat next to her for sometime admiring her figure and of course her 'hot ass' as I called it because she sometimes wear these body hugging outfits for classes and being tight, every detail is revealed. So shoot me. After all I'm a guy. We sometimes ogle at the beautiful form of women. What's wrong with that. She knows she has it and women have to flaunt it proudly especially when gravity hasn't applied it's force on the form as yet.

She needed a lighter to smoke some more and so I got it but I put my arm around her and lit it. The fact that she didn't mind made me feel at ease. If she had said something or told me she was uncomfortable with it then we would have an invisible wall of stress between us from that point onwards. Luckily, that was not the case. I did, however, stop sitting next to her and I even told her that I felt too tempted to do something so I was taking away the seat next to her. I guess it was better not to move too fast as well.

We continued our conversation about her living on her own and her balcony space that she has. Also about the room mates that lives with her. Students from China so conversations are pretty much non existent except when she needs a condom in the middle of the night and had to ask one of them there. She said that when she asked for the condom the guy didn't understand her. Thoughts of getting his penis out and demonstrating the procedure of putting it on went through her mind but she suddenly remembered to say the words, "Sex", to him which brought the latex product out of the drawer. If a girl came up to me and said those word in the middle of the night, irregardless of what language we spoke, I would have had my clothes off in two seconds. What was that guy thinking?

Now I remember. She said he may be gay. Well, his loss. Now all I got to do is figure out who the condom was for. Actually, our conversations are rugged, mature and open to everything. So far.

I really do enjoy my meetings with her and although it's for brief periods, she never fails to put a smile on my face. Great gal but I feel she still searching for something in life that even she can't understand or see in herself as yet. It seems that we both need this little interlude of meetings to stray to some adolescent contact to cut out the world for a while. I hope that she thinks like this as well and touching will just have to slowly take it course.

Bar advice. Some moves should never be done too quickly. Take time to feel relaxed and comfortable with the other. Touching the others mind and heart comes first. It will happen when it happens.

Waxing for ladies.

Saturday came and Kat(meow) did show up. She got there a little late but said that there were no dance classes that weekend. When I asked why than she was there, she said that she went a few streets down to get a waxing done. My radar went on high alert especially seeing her hot ass in shorts as well.

I know it sounds like very male, whatever you want to call it, but "hey" I'm human too. Don't forget she's reading this as well. She already commented on this blog. We did also speak about what I wrote about her Chinese and English zodiac signs. It seems that she got some friends to read it as well and they agree that it's her alright. Anyway back to the latest stuff. Just before that, I pricked her with my finger and blew the top just to indicate that her ass was hot. She laughed her in cute way.

I wanted to know if she got a bikini or Brazilian wax job and she told me the latter. I said I could do it for free next time. More cute laughing again. I was flirting. What's a guy to do when a girl tells him something like that. I was imagining myself with running hot water, foam, a shaver and her naked body. I know it's not waxing. I wouldn't know how really and it sounds painful. Right? I rather have her screams and moans be pleasurable than tearing the hair from her vagina area. Hell, I'll even throw in a massage. Now that; I'm good at. Any lady takers? Guaranteed, no strings.

There's one really nice thing about this girl. She is fairly extrovert and open minded. Some may say it's a character flaw but it sure beats the deceptive people out there. Truth and honesty in a person is a good thing. We just really started talking to each other on a different level and it becomes really interesting conversation. It also feels comfortable to both. People that can converse on all subjects, not hold back and enjoy the discussion, often want to it more as well. I believe that's why she's even talking to me.

When she first came to the bar alone, she didn't talk. I talked to her first and ever since then, she talks to me every time after. To me it's due to the fact that when I speak, all words, pronunciation, vocabulary and subjects, is something that she hasn't found in other local people. She has told me that a lot of the people that she goes out with are expats that live here. My guess is that she is seeking for similar intellectual people to have a good time with.

How many times in this blog have I stressed the importance of conversation. It is key at all levels of a relationship. We are just becoming friends and I hope she drops by every Saturday. We joked about me becoming her 'shrink'. She'll see me once a week and the payment, well, I'll have to think something up. Anyway, the waxing that was done must have hurt so I'll go find out about the procedures and get more info about it and hope that if I can solve the pain issue I may get the chance to try it out with her. (Blog flirting here when she reads)

Bar advice. For the guys out there who are going to use this tactic on girls, just remember to tell her that you'll make sure it's smooth enough by testing it with your tongue.

Let the woman make the first move.

Whoever came up with the rule of thumb that guys should make the first move must be dead by now. It’s a totally outdated concept! Women have climbed the corporate ladder, battled with male politicians, voted, so why couldn't they go ahead and make the first move when meeting men?

It’s always scary to take that first step. We are all sprinkled with ingredients of rejection in varying amounts. If only we could predict whether or not a person would turn us down, then we wouldn't bother to sit beside her and waste some $10 on a drink.

If it’s too much of a hassle for you to approach a woman, then just reverse the whole situation. Charm your way to her and let her make the first move. If there is one traditional formula to do that, that will be the magic of eye contact.

Making eye contact, as simple as it is, can be a little tricky. The eyes can communicate a thousand words in those precious seconds you met her eyes. Make sure you have the right look in your eyes. How do you know when you've achieved the correct look? What's in your mind is basically what would be projected in your eyes. So if you are thinking to go get a girl and get her to bed, that tinge of lust would be caught in your eye. I say this many times for the guys. men look everywhere, women look into the eyes. They want to see into the soul of the man who's in front of her. I seldom look at a woman direct as well unless I'm really interested, someway or another, in her. Still, the best way is to have good eye contact.

So the next time you sit in a bar or shop in a mall and see a woman you might want to have a date with, here's what you need to do. Stare seriously at her eyes, not at her legs or anywhere else. It doesn't matter if she's looking at you or not. It's a common thing for people to be conscious of the people looking at them. If she feels your eyes on her, she will eventually acknowledge that she knows you are looking by giving her own look. When this happens, simply smile back at her. Don't wink or lick your lips, please! The few seconds you lock her in eye contact may be all the chance you're going to get to make an impression, so don't blow it!

If she stares back that gives you the green light signal. It's even better if she gives you a shy smile, which simply means she's open to the thought of meeting you. Next thing you know, she might come up and talk. Women like to sometimes approach by doing a "passing chance". What's that? Well, she will get up from her seat and head in your direction but she will pass you. Normally it's to go to the toilets or something like that but she's secretly hoping that you'll stop her and start up a conversation. She's got tricks of her own you see. When you see this happening jump at the chance. Women don't want to start it off for fear that she will be embarrassed that's why. Try it. It works.

Bar advice. Women should really make the first move at times. Why? Guys sometimes need to be led. They are like software that needs to be fed info about what to do. Their mothers have been giving them instructions all their lives so continue the programming. Some guys don't know what to do if their not told or allowed.

Asking a guy out

In this day and age it's not wrong to ask a guy out. We do things in a modern way now like splitting the check so girls should be able to ask guys out. Are you guilty of taking a passenger seat in your personal life? Move over! We hear time and again that the burden of posing the question is a responsibility most men don't relish. Let's face it, if you wait for him, it might not happen!

It's time to be the open and confident woman you are. Forget subtlety, your best hints will only slip under his radar. Shy types, don't fear, you don't have to be super forward either. The key is to be clear, but casual. Look for an opening, and if you don't see one, make one!

The Payback
If a man you've been eying goes out of his way for you, seize the moment as the golden opportunity it is. He picks up the tab for coffee. Offer to return the favor sometime. He gives you a ride, offers helpful advice and introduces you to a professional contact? Then you totally owe him lunch (or dinner!) for that. Offering to "pay him back" is a playful and relatively safe way to say you appreciate his efforts and would like to see more of him. You'll be surprised.

The Mission
Should a local attraction or place come up in conversation (or you make sure it does), make a mission of discovering it together. It works for restaurants and martini bars as well as museums and theme parks, and it doesn't take much. At the mention of somewhere interesting, casually suggest, "We should go sometime." Unless he's completely dense, he'll pick up the cue. If you want to be a bit bolder, seal the deal yourself with a sly "Wanna check that out with me next week?" Make an offer that is clear and immediate and you're likely to get the same in return. Keep working along those lines for all other things as well.

The Premiere
Bring up the movies (hopefully there's something out you both want to see). Then give him an opening. "We should go see it this week." If you feel more comfortable with a cover, add that your friends aren't really into the flick or have already seen it. This one's great because you've given him a wide open invitation. He knows the way is safe, and still has the chance to do the aggressive guy thing. Sometimes it's good to make it seem like it's his idea. He'll feel good about himself and your night will be great.

The Tip
It's never a bad idea to tap his mind, just try to make it an honest question. Are you looking for a good cyber cafe near the office? Something to do after work? Looking for a new bar to hang out at? He just might have some insights (and be interested in keeping you company).

If you know anything about him, ask a question in the realm of his expertise. If he works in computers, you might get his help on a technical question or ask for advice on a reasonable upgrade. If he's an artsy type, stick to the arts. Maybe you're not in on the scene and are looking for a good art opening. With luck, he'll be happy to take a look at your Mac or escort you to the event. At the very least, you'll get a decent tip and owe him dinner for the trouble.

Bar advice. Try to get more info about him. Draw on what info you can gather on him and use it to your advantage. Guys like it when girls are knowledgeable about things that interest them. It gives them a window of conversation because some guys just don't know what to say to a woman. Trust me, if you make it easy for them it becomes easy for you.

Flirting tips

How to flirt without really flirting.

Most people are not comfortable to speak to strangers and that is why it is not appreciated if you just start a conversation with almost anyone. That is why in airports, on planes and trains, and in other public places it is hard to indulge in small talk for most of us but if you take the right approach, you can successfully meet new people, even make friends and the best of all, flirt. The beauty of a lot of these encounters is that you can go a bit further simply because you know that you probably will not meet with the same person again.

Techniques for women to make the first move.

Smile. It works since it is a great ice-breaker and makes you look approachable. Almost all men are won over by this. Glance at him or even keep a fixed gaze on him.

If you are close to him, brush up against him. Men treat it as a positive sign of acceptance. If you are in a group, show special interest in him, ask questions and try to move him away from the group.Lick your lips during eye contact. Parade close to him with exaggerated hip movement so that he will notice you and will know that you are interested. Basically it means that sometimes you have to strut your stuff.

Ask for his help with something. Remember how girls would drop their books in college when they wanted the guy to come to help and break the ice. Do not play hard to get.Guys tend to brand women like that as bitches.

Techniques for men to make the first move.

Lots of good eye contact. Women always look at guys directly in the eye. Lots of smiles, compliments, and nice gestures. Try to move physically closer but be careful. You do not want to be overly aggressive but you do want to show your interest in physical intimacy. Maybe you can hold her at the waist when in conversation.

Show interest in her. Ask a lot of questions about her and maintain eye contact all the time. Follow-up questions helps as well. Keep talking about yourself to a minimum level. Just throw in a point here and there just to make sure that she does not think that you have nothing to talk about. If you don't know the subject you should say so. Don't pretend like you do and get caught flat footed when a question is being asked about the topic. It will make you look stupid and she's going to know it. Remember the saying which goes something like this. "You make look like a fool but if you open your mouth it will confirm it".

Bar advice. Play the game. You got to sense it with that person. Try harder. Make the effort to go that extra distance. Make time the bench mark. You must give yourself certain periods of the day or night a fixed target to achieve what your plan is. Even if it's a first time meeting with someone, come up with a impromptu one. What have you got to loose?

First date conversations

The most dreaded thing during first dates, aside from choosing what clothes to wear, is what to say on your first real eye to eye conversation. You can’t really help it when you turn all giddy on first date. It’s a natural thing.

There’s only one rule to first date conversations. Don’t make a fool of yourself. Stop being overly anxious and suppress all signs of nervousness Appear relaxed, confident and at ease. Get the thought of rejection out of your head and avoid negative speculations. Think good thoughts, this can also help you exude a positive aura that always adds charm to your personality.

Silence can be your worst enemy on first dates, it makes me cringe just thinking about it. It can make one jump into the brink of nervousness and say things that you wish you hadn’t said. If you think the conversation will lead to some dead air, you can make little distractions like slowly sipping your drink. This would give you those precious split seconds to think of something creative to say to keep the conversation flowing smoothly.

There are a number of great subjects that can jump start a conversation. Make a quick observation of the person you are dating. If she’s the intellectual type, current events can be a good topic to start with. Talk about your present jobs and how happy or discontented you are with your career. Along that line you can also talk about your past schools and funny experiences you might want to share. Ask your date about her hobbies and what interests her. Always add some comments or a follow-up question to keep the conversation moving forward. Guys you got to remember to shut up at some point and let her do some of the talking. Remember it's suppose to be a conversation, you're not there to give a lecture and she's not your psychiatrist to listen to your problems.

Those popular “what’s-your-favorite?” questions shouldn't’t be missed. You can really get to know a person’s personal taste with this type of question. Since everyone generally loves traveling, you can also talk about your past leisure trips and some of the vacation spots you fancy. Of course, your date would share his or her own thoughts of a dream holiday as well, and who knows, you might even end up having a vacation together.

One can tell a good date from a bad date on the basis of how the conversation on your first date went. Be prepared and have a mental list of the possible things you can talk about. The key to a successful first date is to be yourself and as long as you can do that, everything else will follow. Women always look into the eyes of men so guys try to let her see the inner you. Men are little boys that are shy at talking to women because they just don't understand them so they are really the ones that are nervous so ladies understand that you got to make them feel at ease.

Bar advice. For the guys, if you really like her, tell her. Also, when you're comfortable, hold her hand.Use the Alpha male method. Ladies, don't just wait for him to make any kind of move. Be a participant. Some guys are really nice but they just become puddy when it comes to women. Show him you're interested.

Will gives relationship advice

Bar advice. Conversation is the key. People that are in a relationship should talk to others to get a better ideas of what they want because some still don't know what they are looking for in a partner. Seeing the problem in others may just bring yours to the surface as well. Will says " A crazy guy at the bus stop doesn't know he's crazy", till he's told. So, listen and learn.