The elusive kiss. (For guys)

Finding the elusive kiss. How? You've been touching your lady in a nonthreatening, playful, and sexually stimulating way. You're ready to go further and she seems into you but for whatever reason, the chance never seems to come. The "kiss me" look never quite materializes or it comes at just the wrong time.

She's shy and never gives you a good head to head look from which you can lean into. What can you do? Well, one thing that works all by itself almost always is this. Hold her gently but firmly and take hold of her chin between your thumb and index finger. Move her head to face you. Think sex scene in a movie. Chances are she'll melt then and there and you won't have to say a thing. However, sometimes you'll have a woman who wants to "prove" just how strong she is, maybe how cool she is, or she'll just be so nervous that she'll actually pull away slightly even though she wants to be kissed. What do you do?

Be straightforward. Ask if she wants to be kissed by you. If she says yes or nothing, just do it. If she says maybe, presuade her a little and try doing it. If she says no, unlikely given the build-up you've gone through to get here, tell her "it can wait if she's not ready" in a playful teasing tone. Don't act let down. You were just playing with her. Get it? Wow, that was easy. Be bold by not caring. You need to be the alpha male here. Act like you don't to care. Listen, obviously you want to score. If you didn't, you wouldn't go to the trouble of wooing this lady, or setting the right mood but you can't let that be your obvious goal when you're in the process. You need to concentrate on the process, and your goal should be as slick as you can. Do that, and yeah, the sex will come (woohoo!), but if all you worry about is the sex that gets telegraphed to your lady in the worst possible way. So, again, relaxed playfulness is the key.

While you are sexually cuing her you don't want it to be overtly sexual. You want it to be fun. Don't get serious. The mistake most men make when they try to turn up the notch is they suddenly get too quick and unprepared for a possible pause on her part. Think about it. Imagine yourself in a first kiss. How often are either of you smiling as you go into it in your head? Admit it. Not much. Most likely your imagination has you thinking of some movie you saw last night. Just like people can fall in love at first sight. However, when you get serious at this crucial moment you cause her to think seriously about it. Suddenly she's switched into thinking if you're the one for her and unless you've got a deep spiritual connection going, she's gonna have some doubts. You don't want doubts. You don't want all those somber questions floating around. Hell, it's just a kiss! Stop treating it like a life long pairing. You're both suppose to get to know each other.

Keep it relaxed. Keep it playful. Keep it fun. So no, don't be brave about the kiss. If it takes that much bravado, you've already built it up too much. Treat it like you've been there before. Like a natural extension of the fun you're having and not like you're entering some new chapter in a saga, but just part of the path. Trust me, this works. That's right. Go back to the fun you were having like nothing happened. She'll wonder what the hell's going on. Of course, you know you're just teasing her. By pushing forward and then stepping back, you're increasing the sexual tension. Suddenly she's the one thinking about sex. Not in the serious "Could I Marry Him" way, but in the "Does He Like Me?" way.

When you fill in the next silence with another kiss, do a bit on her shoulders as well. You should take it a little further. Then draw back a bit and then take it a bit further. See where this is going? Maybe a kiss on her neck, from the back. You want to ratchet up the sexual tension until she is wanting to go further, faster than you're going. Keep it playful. Make her beg (not in a mean way, remember, this should be fun for both of you). Before you know it, you'll both be naked and putting the lambada to shame. If you go too fast and she is uncomfortable, back off a bit and build her up. The key is making sure she wants the next step before you get there. This means taking your time. Go slow. Pay attention to all the parts of her body. Surprise her now and again. Give her a tickle when she expects a caress. Peck her cheek and lean back when she expects a french kiss. Get it?

This video isn't exactly what I have in mind but it helps.

VideoJug: How To Kiss Someone Passionately

Bar advice. Remember this advice. She's the girl your are desiring. She's no hooker. You want her to want you just as much. It drives me crazy to explain these things to guys.

How to make it work?

Ever run into a brick wall, so to speak, with your mate? Can’t
seem to pass “Go” without collecting 200 fresh wounds? Well,
it’s time to build a bridge and tear down that brick wall. Here
are your tools:

1.ATTITUDE – Get an attitude adjustment first. Lighten up and do
a 180-degree about face. Read the Sunday comics, grab an old
comic book, turn on the Comedy channel, watch funny videos or
DVDs. Get in a better mood and pass it along to your mate.
Invite your mate to tune in to comedy with you, too.

2. FRIENDSHIP – Go back to being friends for starters now that
you’re in a good mood. Forget the love stuff, if you want. And
just focus on being good friends; share compliments, do things
for one another, go out and have fun together, enjoy one
another’s company.

3. RELAX – Let your hair down. Trust and relax. Be yourself.
Don’t let old wounds open or fester. Forget the garbage
memories and just be in the here and now together.

4. TIME OUT – If possible, spend extra time together for
awhile, like during your original courting days. Hire a sitter,
order out, eat at fast food places, grab ice cream cones and go
for walks in the park. Get to know each other all over again.
That’s the key. Then you’ll remember why you fell for each
other in the beginning and history will hopefully repeat
itself.

5. COMMUNICATION – Take it slow and easy. Keep away from
subjects that you don’t agree upon. And slowly re-learn to
communicate with each other all over again. If necessary, and
it’s not a crime or shame – get help. Seek a trusted friend or
adviser, a church clergy member or certified professional
counselor. No need to go it alone. Find your weak areas and how
to over come them and plan for future communication
difficulties.

6. GOALS – Gradually develop goals together so you’ll have a
direction to head. Write them down in a notebook just for the
two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross
them off your list. The idea is to have goals together and work
towards a common goal.

7. SCRAP BOOK – Create a memory album together. Add photos,
clippings, menus and anything that reminds you of the “good
times.” Then when tough times comes, you’ll have something to
“hold on to” – your bridge to romance.

Bar advice. So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve
your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by
while you hold on to your relationship.Work your own magic.

First date conversations

The most dreaded thing during first dates, aside from choosing what clothes to wear, is what to say on your first real eye to eye conversation. You can’t really help it when you turn all giddy on first date. It’s a natural thing.

There’s only one rule to first date conversations. Don’t make a fool of yourself. Stop being overly anxious and suppress all signs of nervousness Appear relaxed, confident and at ease. Get the thought of rejection out of your head and avoid negative speculations. Think good thoughts, this can also help you exude a positive aura that always adds charm to your personality.

Silence can be your worst enemy on first dates, it makes me cringe just thinking about it. It can make one jump into the brink of nervousness and say things that you wish you hadn’t said. If you think the conversation will lead to some dead air, you can make little distractions like slowly sipping your drink. This would give you those precious split seconds to think of something creative to say to keep the conversation flowing smoothly.

There are a number of great subjects that can jump start a conversation. Make a quick observation of the person you are dating. If she’s the intellectual type, current events can be a good topic to start with. Talk about your present jobs and how happy or discontented you are with your career. Along that line you can also talk about your past schools and funny experiences you might want to share. Ask your date about her hobbies and what interests her. Always add some comments or a follow-up question to keep the conversation moving forward. Guys you got to remember to shut up at some point and let her do some of the talking. Remember it's suppose to be a conversation, you're not there to give a lecture and she's not your psychiatrist to listen to your problems.

Those popular “what’s-your-favorite?” questions shouldn't’t be missed. You can really get to know a person’s personal taste with this type of question. Since everyone generally loves traveling, you can also talk about your past leisure trips and some of the vacation spots you fancy. Of course, your date would share his or her own thoughts of a dream holiday as well, and who knows, you might even end up having a vacation together.

One can tell a good date from a bad date on the basis of how the conversation on your first date went. Be prepared and have a mental list of the possible things you can talk about. The key to a successful first date is to be yourself and as long as you can do that, everything else will follow. Women always look into the eyes of men so guys try to let her see the inner you. Men are little boys that are shy at talking to women because they just don't understand them so they are really the ones that are nervous so ladies understand that you got to make them feel at ease.

Bar advice. For the guys, if you really like her, tell her. Also, when you're comfortable, hold her hand.Use the Alpha male method. Ladies, don't just wait for him to make any kind of move. Be a participant. Some guys are really nice but they just become puddy when it comes to women. Show him you're interested.