The elusive kiss. (For guys)

Finding the elusive kiss. How? You've been touching your lady in a nonthreatening, playful, and sexually stimulating way. You're ready to go further and she seems into you but for whatever reason, the chance never seems to come. The "kiss me" look never quite materializes or it comes at just the wrong time.

She's shy and never gives you a good head to head look from which you can lean into. What can you do? Well, one thing that works all by itself almost always is this. Hold her gently but firmly and take hold of her chin between your thumb and index finger. Move her head to face you. Think sex scene in a movie. Chances are she'll melt then and there and you won't have to say a thing. However, sometimes you'll have a woman who wants to "prove" just how strong she is, maybe how cool she is, or she'll just be so nervous that she'll actually pull away slightly even though she wants to be kissed. What do you do?

Be straightforward. Ask if she wants to be kissed by you. If she says yes or nothing, just do it. If she says maybe, presuade her a little and try doing it. If she says no, unlikely given the build-up you've gone through to get here, tell her "it can wait if she's not ready" in a playful teasing tone. Don't act let down. You were just playing with her. Get it? Wow, that was easy. Be bold by not caring. You need to be the alpha male here. Act like you don't to care. Listen, obviously you want to score. If you didn't, you wouldn't go to the trouble of wooing this lady, or setting the right mood but you can't let that be your obvious goal when you're in the process. You need to concentrate on the process, and your goal should be as slick as you can. Do that, and yeah, the sex will come (woohoo!), but if all you worry about is the sex that gets telegraphed to your lady in the worst possible way. So, again, relaxed playfulness is the key.

While you are sexually cuing her you don't want it to be overtly sexual. You want it to be fun. Don't get serious. The mistake most men make when they try to turn up the notch is they suddenly get too quick and unprepared for a possible pause on her part. Think about it. Imagine yourself in a first kiss. How often are either of you smiling as you go into it in your head? Admit it. Not much. Most likely your imagination has you thinking of some movie you saw last night. Just like people can fall in love at first sight. However, when you get serious at this crucial moment you cause her to think seriously about it. Suddenly she's switched into thinking if you're the one for her and unless you've got a deep spiritual connection going, she's gonna have some doubts. You don't want doubts. You don't want all those somber questions floating around. Hell, it's just a kiss! Stop treating it like a life long pairing. You're both suppose to get to know each other.

Keep it relaxed. Keep it playful. Keep it fun. So no, don't be brave about the kiss. If it takes that much bravado, you've already built it up too much. Treat it like you've been there before. Like a natural extension of the fun you're having and not like you're entering some new chapter in a saga, but just part of the path. Trust me, this works. That's right. Go back to the fun you were having like nothing happened. She'll wonder what the hell's going on. Of course, you know you're just teasing her. By pushing forward and then stepping back, you're increasing the sexual tension. Suddenly she's the one thinking about sex. Not in the serious "Could I Marry Him" way, but in the "Does He Like Me?" way.

When you fill in the next silence with another kiss, do a bit on her shoulders as well. You should take it a little further. Then draw back a bit and then take it a bit further. See where this is going? Maybe a kiss on her neck, from the back. You want to ratchet up the sexual tension until she is wanting to go further, faster than you're going. Keep it playful. Make her beg (not in a mean way, remember, this should be fun for both of you). Before you know it, you'll both be naked and putting the lambada to shame. If you go too fast and she is uncomfortable, back off a bit and build her up. The key is making sure she wants the next step before you get there. This means taking your time. Go slow. Pay attention to all the parts of her body. Surprise her now and again. Give her a tickle when she expects a caress. Peck her cheek and lean back when she expects a french kiss. Get it?

This video isn't exactly what I have in mind but it helps.

VideoJug: How To Kiss Someone Passionately

Bar advice. Remember this advice. She's the girl your are desiring. She's no hooker. You want her to want you just as much. It drives me crazy to explain these things to guys.

Overweight? You can still enhance your sex life.

You could try one of the many sexual enhancement drugs available today. You could sign up for very expensive workshops and retreats. You could even strip down and pole dance for your partner.

My guess is that these things just aren't your style. I believe that you're seeking natural and balanced healing for your sex drive and your overweight body.

You're tired, your energy is low and you aren't feeling quite like you think you should. Age is catching up as well. You don't have unrealistic expectations. You do have some dreams you've hung onto despite your physical size. You've clung to them, knowing that some day those dreams would take you to a place inside you where you were finally ready to take control.Once you embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment, you can never plead ignorance again. You can never say "I didn't know".

Your sex drive does not need to take a complete dive while you're in the process of losing weight. That extra weight does not have to be like carrying heavy sacks of spuds around. It doesn't have to tire you out. Here are simple things you can do to help energize you and lighten the load..


You can make sure your daily food intake contains the highest possible raw content you can achieve up to about 80%. For now, to go much higher is a path you can move into. Keep the raw fruits and veggies separate and your energy level will steadily climb. Your body will respond to what you feed it. It has no choice, chemically speaking.

Step in place for ten minutes. Hardly a spit in the ocean of time in your day. Get up and do this for yourself. I promise you will love yourself for it. Walk around the house. Preferably outside and breathing with a full inhale/exhale. The more you move, the more you’ll be able to move both in your live and in your love life. You don’t want your partner to have to do all the work do you? Keep your eye on the prize. It’s your dream. You can make it happen!

Make the choice to work at your sex life. Most especially if you and your partner have been together a long time. Sometimes things just need sprucing up. If you feel too overweight to feel sexy, try splitting a bottle of pleasant red wine. Put on something nice and enhance the mood of your room. Work at it. Overweight, underweight or just perfect, people have to make the effort to keep the sexual tension alive.

Tend to your physical appearance. Sometimes in our daily lives, we forget to take a moment to add the little touches that we used to do daily. Trim those stray hairs or apply that bit of lipstick. Guys cut your nails.Small things can enhance your appearance and the way you walk, adding confidence to your style. When we take care of ourselves, we stand taller and feel better about ourselves.

Don’t let life get in the way of preserving the passion and fire you and your partner once had. Don’t let the pounds you’re in the process of losing, discourage you from feeling just as sexy as you did. You’ll get there again and when you do, you’ll still have your mate. The one you fell in love with. Don’t let anything get in the way. Schedule dates with your mate and make the effort.

Bar advice.We have all sorts of obstacles in life and each one can seem insurmountable at the time. Later, we can see each in perspective and sometimes even with humor. Don’t let tomorrow’s comic relief get you down today. Do something about your sex life and the drive will take care of itself.Also, if you think young, you'll be all the time. No matter what the mirror tells you.