Returning With Love

I am returning with love and of course more advice to help others in need. It's been a while as I have been really busy doing affiliate and internet marketing. Doing business always takes a tole on people but I always say you have to leave time for some rest and relaxation.

But now I'm back to fill one gap of what I use to do and that's giving my two cents worth on relationship problems or any other issue that drives men and women crazy about each other or over each other. So the Unofficial Psychiatrist and Psychologist is back. The topic about returning with love is appropriate, not only for me and this blog but for a story of that nature.

I'll keep it brief as it's the first post in a long time. There's this girl I know who worked as a domestic helper and after her two years away working she returned home to find so many things changed at home. The son sold off crops from the field only to pocket some of the money for himself. The daughter asked for her to send money home at one point to buy medicine for her grandson but later it was discovered she wanted to buy a piece of jewelry that was on sale and a great price. Basically she lied about it as she thought the mother would refuse. 

Worse of all was this lady's own mother secretly sold of a portion of land that was left by her late father to her. Upon discovering all this, naturally being human, got really upset about this. Now here's the twist. She had won about twenty thousand from the local lottery just before returning home and wanted to share her winnings as a gift. Instead she bought back the land sold by her mother, bought her own jewelry and got her son to repaint the entire house with him buying the paint of course. Nobody argued and everyone was a little terrified for all their wrong doings. Except one. The grandson of her daughter.

This boy always made her laugh and smile when she called home. After three days of silence, beside speaking to the grandson only, she gathered everyone to a discussion. After venting a little anger still, she mentally stepped back and took a breath, then started a heart felt talk with them. She told them she was returning with love and joy only to find deceit and lies but although disappointed she forgave them, being a Christian, all because times are hard and the economy is bad. Plus, she added, she was blessed with a small fortune before her return and she showed them her bank account statement. They nearly fell to the floor.

She made them promise never to do all that again, gave them each a thousand and a week later returned to her work overseas. Till today, if any of them need anything, they ask. The story of their discussion at home is more in depth with religious aspects included but basically the message got through. Now she frets not about the home front especially the fact that her grandson will not learn such practices and pick it up from anyone at home. 

She divulged that she later sent more money home to buy additional land and added extension to the house. Looks like things are on the right track. So her story is ongoing and that is also going to be mine with this blog.

Bar advice. Sometimes even the people we think we know best can change. So, communicate constantly. 

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Expressing appreciation

One very vital way we show that our spouse is important to us is by expressing appreciation. There's a tendency to forget the good things a person does and focus on his mistakes and errors. It should be the other way round with you and your spouse. Think more about their good works and express appreciation for them more than complaining about their errors.

Women are more likely to express their feelings of lack of appreciation than men, but neither wives or husbands should be taken for granted. Some people really want their relationships to work and will do whatever is necessary to ease the difficulty of their partner.

I remember when I was trying to run a home based internet marketing and I was run off my feet maintaining the website, taking calls from customers, packaging and shipping items, responding to emails, etc. Generally all the things that go with running a internet business. I had to do all of this and still do the bar business at the same time. It was really hard work. Much harder than what I'm doing now working at the bar. Then I worked Monday to Sunday, till 4 am most times. When you're with someone as well and trying to earn money and help with finances of two people, there's a slow down in a persons appreciation level if things are not going according to plan.

At the end of a heart-felt discussion where both express their feelings about the efforts, both making to move their lives forward, people realised one thing. We don't really want to give up what we were already doing, but what we both want from the other is appreciation. The discussion should be on just realizing that love is what drives us to do things for the other and not because we have to but because we want to.

After that discussion, make more of a conscious effort to express gratitude for the things that both do. So look at your spouse and the things that they do. Focus more on their good deeds than bad ones. And then learn to say an earnest "Thank you" or "Well done". Believe me, it goes a long way.

Bar Advice. Sometimes the simplest of things can brighten your partners day. Even loving the other more when he or she realizes that their partner is doing their best in the relationship. It's never too late.

Back blogging again

I was having some difficulties with the PC and at work in the bar so haven't been able to add to the blog for a while. Anyway things were a little hectic trying to sort out the Internet marketing business that I'm in.

Busy or not, I just had to get back to this quickly. Those reading may be wondering what happened to me. Recently met a nice girl and 'No' didn't find her on friendfinder or anything like that. Just met her at the bar and we got to talk. She was kind of hot and one thing led to another and we ended up in each others arms. She is from the Philippines. Educated and very business orientated. She told me how she was doing business over the Internet and found it a little hard. That's very true actually but some like My Money Dragon aren't. There's also the OTO Goldmine and Megabooster that can make you money quite easily. If you know Google then you can use Adsense on your site like the ones on the right of this blog or you can join the Adwords Miracle that can make you a small fortune as well.

If you don't know, affiliate marketing, is worth a look into. What is affiliate marketing? Well, basically it's the selling of other peoples stuff. You join their company and get a share of the profits. All you got to do is promote the replicated website with your code on it and earn the cash.Let's say you joined Anbes ( Brest serum) and wanted to make money. all you had to do is join the affiliate site and when people buy from your replicated site or if people join through your site, you'll make money. It's that simple and best of all affiliate sites are free.

After telling her all these things, I kind of got her a little confused. That's because she didn't know there was so many ways to earn money on the Internet.Getting back to her. She was only here for two days and we had a great time. I know people think that if you're from the Philippine or one of the other South East Asian countries then there's going to be a problem. Some people are not like that and with the experience that I have I can tell if someone is out to play me or not. This girl seemed to have her head on her sholders and was really interested to get the info to improve herself. It's always good to see people trying to better themselves and their lives.

Bar advice 律師忠告 . Trying to improve one's self is far better than moping about it. get off your ass and help yourself. Dreaming about making things better and actually doing it are two different things. I gave you examples of some of them earlier. Start somewhere.

That's the way things are sometimes.

What can we say? People sometimes want to be cool and suave. Guys try to attract that someone special so they try all the tactics they can. Sometimes they work and sometimes we fall flat on our faces.

The magic either works for us when we want to get to know that special girl but if we get the dreaded rejection then the only magic you want to do is a great big disappearing act. One of my customers that came to the bar regularly was a guy from Australia. His name was Dave. He was an expat that had never been out of the country before. In the beginning he look like a lost sheep from the flock but after a couple of years he turned in the wolf in sheep clothing. Here's a little story about this guy in the early stages when he got to Singapore.

He seemed shy and timid in some ways. Normally after work he would come into the place to unwind and get a cold beer. He always came straight up to the bar area because he didn't know to many people and he could talk to me. The unofficial psychiatrist always at hand even if people were having a good day or bad. One day he came in and there were two great looking girls seated at the end of the bar. They were to themselves and we could hear them laughing and giggling. I think it was because I already served them three long island teas each. Somehow or rather Dave decided that he was going to approach them so he told me to get them two more cocktails and fill up another Tiger beer for him. He walks over and starts to chat them up after I sent the drinks over. I was busy serving others then I had a break so I went over to see how things were going with those three.

Dave's job, big money, was doing computer internet marketing and such, so, when I went to talk to them it seemed a bit silent. I knew this guy was loosing it because he just didn't know what the heck to say. He was trying to go on about the IT stuff but the girls didn't have a clue what he was saying. I could see it in their faces. The girls were pissed so maybe that's why they stayed that long. I tried to help him out by throwing in some questions to the girls. A couple of jokes and such but boy this guy Dave was just dying with them. Even when he made a joke it turned out to be like some long winded corporate tax statement being read and when the punch line came the girls didn't get. For that matter neither did I. He was in a situation like a plane going down in flames, one parachute but people were happy to die then hear anything more from this guy.

Towards the end and more drinks were being consumed the one thing happened that I knew was going to happen eventually. Dave had his fill of beer and it was time to go to the toilet for a piss. The moment he was away from the bar counter the girls were signalling for me to come over to them. First thing they said, both at the same time, was to get the bill. I laughed and asked them why they were in such a hurry. Smiling they shook their heads and said that if I of all people didn't know then there was something wrong with me too. I winked at them and just smiled. They knew I knew. Just as they were about to go off Dave got back. I heard one of them calling the lords name.

Dave asked what was happening and the girls said that they had to go home. This was a Saturday night mind you so something else was going on but Dave still tried to pick them up. I guess he had a chat with himself in the loo or something and found some new courage. After a few attempts to get them to go with him to some other place and even inviting them back to his apartment, one of the girls just told him to stop. We're not going anywhere with you ,she said. We're lesbians that were out for a few drinks and we're now going to enjoy each other's company and we don't need a guy. So they walked off after saying a quick goodbye to me.

Dave standing dumbfounded there just stopped talking till I got back to him. He had that look on his face with thoughts racing in his head saying, I never suspected, to himself and then later to me. I felt a little sorry for him but the reason he didn't get it was because they weren't lesbians and it was really the girls who gave him a way out instead of having to be rude and tell him off because they just weren't interested in him or more to the point he wasn't interesting to them. Two weeks later the girls did come back but that day Dave wasn't there so we had a really nice time chatting away and telling jokes and getting pissed with way too much booze.

Bar advice. I'll leave it to your imagination as to how I found out that they weren't lesbians.