How to Turn Rejection Into Opportunity

You see, the thing about rejection is that it’s only a negative thing if you allow it to be. Sure, it feels lousy at first, but underneath that rejection is an opportunity that can change you for the better. What you feel and what you can do about it is two different things. So how to turn rejection into opportunity?

Ask for an Explanation. If you’re turned down for a job or a raise, calmly and coolly ask the rejecting person why. The reasons may have nothing to do with you (such as budget issues) or, if they do, you’ll be able to use this information to improve for next time. Resist Taking it Personally! It is important to realize that whatever someone says or does that appears to cause you pain is often, if not always, not personal. So if you’re feeling like the rejection is a personal affront to your character, let it go. Learning to let go is actually a simple process that is ingrained in all of us. However, most up us need to relearn the powerful act of letting go.

Let go of wanting to change what happened. If you’re wishing that you were the center of attention in your office, or envying the person who got your promotion, the colleague that dresses better, etc, you are only making matters worse. Let go of wanting to change what the others are doing or not doing, and allow yourself to let go of the feeling of being rejected. You cannot feel others rejecting you, you can only feel your rejecting them back. So let go of wanting to reject them back, and then notice how you relax and lose interest in what they think. You will also find that they begin treat you with much more love and respect.

Take back control. Being rejected can make you feel like a victim but you have been in control all along. The more you learn to let go of your hurt feelings, the more you will realize that only you have the power to determine how you feel. So rather than letting a rejection get you down, use the failure as a stepping stone to your future success.

Now lets look at the situation in a personal capacity when involved with someone. If you're trying to build a relationship with a person and they reject your offer of either getting together, going on a date or becoming more than friends, let it be. Don't let it chew you up inside. The world is made up of all sorts of people. You may not be their type. They may not like the way you look, dress or even talk. You don't expect to go up to Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt and they like you above all other persons, would you? If they rejected you, wouldn't you except it because they said so and move on? Sure you will. A celebrity, however, is no different than anyone else so why let it eat you up inside? If you can accept the rejection from a celeb(and I don't mean that they are any better) why not a normal person?

Shake it off and move on. People are sometimes hurt because the rejection comes a little later into knowing a person. They may have been going out for a while. They also could have been having sex. The rejection by one person may be due to indifference's about lifestyle issues or possibly their ideals of a spouse and partner. It's just one of those things where people find that it's not working out the way they like it to be. Maybe their "space" is being compromised. They may not be ready for a commitment or one is rushing the relationship and the other is feeling trapped. Whatever the rejection reason is one must respect the others decision. Take a bow and leave even with your head held high.

Bar advice. The rejection is sometimes lessons well learned. It makes a person better and brings tested feelings into light. Look into that light for better things to come.

Bad habits

I just don't get some of the things that people do at the bar. Lots of people pick up bad habits from friends. Apply it. Think it's cool but don't know that the things they do irritates others. What things am I talking about?

People just don't get that tearing out the labels from beer bottles and sticking them on glasses or the table tops can be time consuming to remove or clean up. Another thing is when people tear up coasters into pieces and try to place it back into the original shape and make a jigsaw puzzle out of it. They leave it there so when someone tries to pick it up it falls apart instead of just one piece. There's many pieces that needs to be cleared so more time is lost.

These people also make things worse when they place chewing gum under the tables or chairs. It's not only disgusting when others have to clean it but it's also socially wrong. The chewing gum companies know that this is a problem and they leave clear messages on their wrappers telling people to keep the foil so they can dispose of it later. This bit seems to skip the intelligence of these people. Sometimes they even just throw it on the ground and this makes it more difficult to remove.

Why do people pick up on these bad habits. Most of the time we see that it's a lot of younger people doing it. They are suppose to be the future leaders of the world. Instead they are showing a bad example and the worse part is that they either don't care or don't see that bad habits like these are socially wrong and their character is tarnished because they act in this manner.

Other bad habits can be spitting on the road. They don't know that this can lead to people getting tuberculosis. Some people don't flush the toilet after use. Some don't wash their hands either. If an ice bucket is place on the table for their drinks, some use their hands instead of the tongs. God only knows what they touched before contaminating all those other ice cubes that others will be placing in their drinks. Think about it. Some guy scratched his ass in the toilet and then placed it in the same ice bucket that you're going to take from to use in your drink. Tasty, isn't it?

There's so many other bad habits that people do as well. One thing that I sense is that these people tend to pick them up from their circle of friends. It becomes something that is normal to them and they think that everyone does it so it's not wrong or that it's not a bad habit at all. Parents can only do so much to teach but the individual person has to make a conscious effort to change and tell others that the things they do are wrong.

Bar advice. A friend is someone that will tell you the truth in your face. Not ignore it or stay away from the topic because of the friendship.

Americans are NOT stupid - WITH SUBTITLES

Watch this video on You Tube and find out what it's like to really hear and see what people "know" about other parts of the world. The places, people, countries, landmarks, leaders and even geographically where other places are. Not forgetting that they couldn't even pick out a country starting with the letter "U". Their own.

Bar advice. This is the people of the most powerful nation on the planet. God help us all if they were in the front lines.

Getting to commitment

A very worthwhile read for anyone in any type of relationship. Book covers topics to make you more aware of the motivations for your own behavior and reactions to other people. Good for men and women, people who don't think they have relating problems and for those who know they do. It is worth your time.

Bar advice. Where do you stand in the face of commitment? Is the relationship going anywhere?

Celebs without Make up

Bar advice. I will still give it to Mariah Carey and Jessica Simpson. Even without the make they are hot. Don't get me wrong. This video just proves that people don't realize that celebs are normal people away from the glamour.

Web Directory
Human-reviewed and family friendly web links.

How to attract the person of your dreams?

In my quest to find the perfect mate, I often ended up dating or
attracting people who were completely wrong for me. It was only when I
realized a simple truth that my entire concept of relationships
changed.

Practitioners of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) have a rule that
states: The meaning of your communication is the response that you get.

That means the response you elicit from a person depends entirely on
how you communicate your ideas to them. If you communicate in a way
that gets you the response you desired, you were successful. If not,
you need to learn what was missing in your communication and how to
incorporate that the next time you try. Notice how this rule places the of getting a response on YOU, not
on the other person.

If you extrapolate this to relationships, you could say, "The kind of
person you attract depends on the kind of person you are." Our
relationships, and the people we attract into our lives, are just a
reflection of who we are, at that point in our lives.

We often talk about men or women being "emotionally unavailable" or
unwilling to commit to a better relationship. But the kind of people we
attract into our lives often tend to be people who mirror our
personality or the issues we are dealing with, in some way.

If, deep down, you have a fear of commitment or of "losing your
freedom", then you're going to attract a mate with the same issues. If
you have no self-love or low self-esteem, you'll end up attracting
people with the same problems. The reason why we see patterns in our lives, why we get into abusive or unfulfilling relationships, is because we've not dealt with the issues that were responsible for creating our own beliefs and personalities.

The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. If you think positive thoughts, you'll attract good things to you. If you respect people and do good by them, you'll elicit the same response from them.If you want to attract a person with all the qualities you want in a mate, then you must develop those qualities in yourself.Want your mate to be more loving, giving and kind? Then become more
loving, giving and kind. Want your mate to be health-conscious? Start taking charge of your own health and fitness.Want your mate to have a good sense of humour? Take the time and effort to develop your own sense of humour.Want your mate to be financially secure? Get your own finances in order. Want your mate to be emotionally available? Commit to sharing more of yourself first.

If you've been attracting the wrong kind of people into your life, take
a good look at the person in the mirror. Get to know yourself better.
You'll find the answers are all inside you.

Bar advice. If you want a better relationship, you must become a better person. To
attract the mate of your dreams, you must become the person you want to
attract.Don't expect people to be what you want then to be unless you're going to do it too.

One song to describe the 'Human Race'

Bar Advice. Challenge the injustice against what's happening to people. Don't exchange blows but blow away the dust and exchange dialogue to settle things. Make your voice known by sending mail, emails, TV, protest or whatever clever ways you know to get these things to stop.

A night with 3 ladies and myself

The night was a little chilly because of all the rain but it was a good day at the bar. These 3 ladies had come up because they heard the music. I wasn't sure if they were into what I was playing but as the night went on they kept ordering more drinks.

The place was a little busy so no time to chit chat but eventually as the night worn down I had to check if they need any more booze. Then they started to talk to me. Initially they commented about the song choices and how they were enjoying it. Music does bring people together even if they were younger than me.Mostly it was about the artist, old music, new music and what the people of today and yesterday were listening to and the fact that a lot of new artist do a cover version of other people's songs. It's also a nice 'ice breaker' to start a conversation.

Being the last customers, I was asked to sit and join them at their table so I got my beer. The topic soon started to change to relationships, guys, girls, expectations and lots more. Some of the things that we talk about were simple stuff but some were a little more indepth but it was really frank and open.That was great because it shows that a lot of younger people d9o think about this stuff and try to understand their partners that their with or at least are trying to.

They bombarded me with a lot of 'guy' questions. I guess after telling them that I was much older and the fact that we were all drinking, it made it easier for them to open up and ask some intense questions. I'm sure that they would have loved to ask more stuff and all avenues of what a guy wants and thinks.I'm referring to both of his heads as well. Maybe that will come up the next time. Frankly, I was checking them out. They seemed nice and interesting. Good figures and intelligent as well. What they didn't know is that I too was getting a lot of insight into the workings of the female mind and here I had three of them.

It struck me that these girls, although friends, saw and felt differently about guys. Some knew more than others and some felt differently about certain issues. Things like why a guy does this or why do guys say that? Even to bring it down to genetics. These are hard things to answer but I told them that I could only give them my perspective and analysis on what maybe going through their minds and why they do them, seeing that I'm a guy as well.

Ladies, here are some insightful tips about guys. Make them work for it. Don't put out too quickly, if you know what I mean. Just as I was sitting there I could smell the perfume, check them out as they walked back and fort from the ladies room, looking at the ass as the moved away from the table and then checking out their breast as they were coming back. What I'm getting at is that guys like to look. Even if he's married and won't go any further than that, he will still look. It's a guy thing. He may have a solid, beautiful, sexy girlfriend or wife and he'll still look. Women can't help looking at shoes when they pass a store but for guys it's cleavage. These two things causes the same effect on the different genders.It's true people. We guy's have to look. With all the naughty modern day clothing, can you blame a guy. Don't forget you girl's wear that stuff just to make us look.

Women have to play smart. Find out more details about men and then you can have a great relationship. Whenever I see two people falling out after a few years it's sad We've all gone through it and what we need is insight about each other. One little thing that women need to do is let the guy do the chasing. The male instincts go all the way back to the caveman days. That's instilled in him by nature but letting him crave you and chase you longer puts you in the driving seat. Please don't over do it or he'll stray away to someone else if you're not going to even give him a kiss. A reward like that is all it takes to fuel his fire.

An example of this caveman ways is what guys do if they are with someone and another guy comes along. It doesn't matter if he's a friend or not. Imagine 3 people in a conversation. If the lady is having a good time conversing with the other guy the first guy(that was with her) will start to lean in more. Maybe put his arm around her on on her leg or even give her a kiss on the cheek before he excuses himself to go to the toilet. Why is this so? Well the male instinct in him is telling him to show the other guy his dominance over the situation and him. It has nothing to do with her.It's a clear message to the other guy to know that the girl is with him. In the caveman days that's how it was. Territory and possessions are important to guys.

Bar advice. There are a lot of other things that can be said about the matter and everyone is different. This has been going on for so long and it isn't going to end anytime soon. One last thing to reflect on. When women are looking for guys, they want to go to that 'special place'...men just need a place.

P.S. The title suggested that it was a night of lustful sex between 3 women and a guy but it wasn't. See, it's a guy thing.

Can we blog all this?

Whoever came out with the whole blog thing may or may not have known what they started. This is an outlet for so many people, irregardless of where in the world you are, and you have just become an author.

Whatever you want to say or advise and maybe point out is easily done. The only thing is, who's reading it? Well if people are like you and they are interested in what makes sense to them or reflect all your stuff as something in their lives then you have an audience.

Your stuff can be crap, erotic, sexy, intoxicating, professional, weird or any damm thing. As long as people have an interest then you're ready to party. money is something that most people are interested in but so is life. what can you possibly know about philosophy?

Well you lead you own life so that's a start. Is there any thing that you can share about it? If it's dull and boring don't worry. Most other people are in the same boat. If they weren't than the whole planet would be full of celebrities.

Bar advice.What is it that I'm getting to , besides the fact that this is going to be a short entry, is that our lives are like blogs that we read and see all the time. A lot of us don't journal it but if we did the whole Internet would be filled with mostly that. This is what you do. Add or make a blog today.