Faults

What can I say? Faults, we all got them. These faults can be something psychical, in our character, what we say, our behaviour or how we work. There's also the strengths and weaknesses that we have in dealing with others like family, friends and the relationship were in.

Stop what you're doing right now and go look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like what you see? At times I don't. If you say you do then great but most will agree with me that they would rather change something that they see as an imperfection. Why? It's just that people want to be seen the way they want others to see them so what they were born with is never good enough. Look at the women that go for beauty pageants. Do you think they got there because they were born like that? Most had stuff done before they joined the pageant. For some the mirror is a friend. For others it's their worst nightmare.

Lets look at what we are like inside. Everyone has faults in their character and being. How they behave and what they do can make the most handsome man or beautiful woman look ugly. Kindness and gentleness towards others sometimes seems soft and wimpy to some. It doesn't go well in the business and that's why a lot of women have a though time in the corporate world. Being shy won't land you that job. Gossiping about others will label you a bitch. Doing whatever the boss says makes you a "yes" man. Taking on extra works puts you in bad light with others because they think you're over ambitious. No one will talk to you because they think you're in cahoots with the boss.

Even going to lunch can be difficult. People start to criticize everything about you and even make fun about your clothes, the way you eat, the way you talk or what your hairstyle is like. If you're a woman it gets worse when all the other ladies are gossiping rumours about an affair that never happened but someone tarnished your reputation by making stuff up. They talk about your short shirt, low cleavage blouse, your shoes or your flirting (made up) with male colleagues. Guys have to worry about their language and comments with their female counterparts or find a sexual harassment complaint go up to the boss. Are all these faults that need correcting? Who is really at fault here?

In a relationship it can get really bad as well. Some people end up in divorce because the person they marry turns out to be a monster in disguise. You ask, "what happened to that sweet boy that brought me flowers?" or " why is this girl stuffing her face with so much food everyday that she now looks like a watermelon?" We find that the person we went out with and the person we live with are from different planets. Some live like slobs and expect everyone to pick after them even after marriage. Some like to cut their toenails on the bed or pick their nose and flick the booger out the window. They forgot that they had individual lives before. The smallest of things eventually adds up and divorce or a break up happens. All this is just what happens at home. Can you imagine going out in public?

All these faults are just the tip of the iceberg. There's some far worse than this. We all got them. We're not perfect and we can never be. However, we can change ourselves. Habits and life choices can be altered. We sometimes forget that others see us differently and we don't see all these faults till it's pointed out to us. Take the advice from good friends or love ones and you might just find a huge change in your life.



Bar advice. The seven deadly sins are the extreme ends of this but there are people that have them. Stay clear of these ones.

Bad habits

I just don't get some of the things that people do at the bar. Lots of people pick up bad habits from friends. Apply it. Think it's cool but don't know that the things they do irritates others. What things am I talking about?

People just don't get that tearing out the labels from beer bottles and sticking them on glasses or the table tops can be time consuming to remove or clean up. Another thing is when people tear up coasters into pieces and try to place it back into the original shape and make a jigsaw puzzle out of it. They leave it there so when someone tries to pick it up it falls apart instead of just one piece. There's many pieces that needs to be cleared so more time is lost.

These people also make things worse when they place chewing gum under the tables or chairs. It's not only disgusting when others have to clean it but it's also socially wrong. The chewing gum companies know that this is a problem and they leave clear messages on their wrappers telling people to keep the foil so they can dispose of it later. This bit seems to skip the intelligence of these people. Sometimes they even just throw it on the ground and this makes it more difficult to remove.

Why do people pick up on these bad habits. Most of the time we see that it's a lot of younger people doing it. They are suppose to be the future leaders of the world. Instead they are showing a bad example and the worse part is that they either don't care or don't see that bad habits like these are socially wrong and their character is tarnished because they act in this manner.

Other bad habits can be spitting on the road. They don't know that this can lead to people getting tuberculosis. Some people don't flush the toilet after use. Some don't wash their hands either. If an ice bucket is place on the table for their drinks, some use their hands instead of the tongs. God only knows what they touched before contaminating all those other ice cubes that others will be placing in their drinks. Think about it. Some guy scratched his ass in the toilet and then placed it in the same ice bucket that you're going to take from to use in your drink. Tasty, isn't it?

There's so many other bad habits that people do as well. One thing that I sense is that these people tend to pick them up from their circle of friends. It becomes something that is normal to them and they think that everyone does it so it's not wrong or that it's not a bad habit at all. Parents can only do so much to teach but the individual person has to make a conscious effort to change and tell others that the things they do are wrong.

Bar advice. A friend is someone that will tell you the truth in your face. Not ignore it or stay away from the topic because of the friendship.

Relationships that don't take off.

Last week Mindy(not real name), the one that works at the restaurant nearby, came to the bar. "Just killing time to go meet someone later", she said. She started to tell me that she was leaving her company and worse of all, that she and her boyfriend had ended the relationship. No surprise to me actually.

She said that what I had told her before about it not working out and that he was after different things and relationship than her, was true. I wasn't sure if she was alright about it because she didn't really show it. Was she hurting inside? Possibly but she wasn't expressing it. Later I find out that she was calculating her zodiac a year extra because they do that in the Chinese culture. She wasn't a Capricorn/Pig but a Capricorn/Rooster. Now here's what she really is like in character.

Capricorn/Rooster.
Dignified and impeccable, the Capricorn born Rooster cuts a dashing figure. He/She will be well turned out, strong of opinion and honest to a fault. Capricorn's reserve matches the conservative side of the Rooster nature harmoniously. There is little conflict and lots of restraint. The Capricorn/Rooster possesses integrity and autonomy. He/She functions well alone if need be but prefers to be surrounded. Count on the Capricorn/Rooster to do the "done" thing. This person's charm is increased by his/her excellent manners, careful use of words, and ability to find the best in each situation. Capricorn/Roosters worry about how others see them and make heroic efforts to please those who judge their behavior. These people care greatly for appearances but are never guilty of pretension. You won't find one of these noble souls engaged in anything disreputable. Even sex! No. This character is faithful to a fault (if such a thing exists) and not attracted to dealing with deep emotion. He or she is easy to love. Everybody does. But intimacy with such a reserved type is a challenge to say the least.

Now I understand why it was hard to figure out if she was hurting inside. With her character she's not one to really show it. Lot of the other traits are fitting this lovely girl as well. One thing she did admit to me was when I told her she was still a newbie about things like work, people, worldly affairs and of course relationships. Maybe she wasn't all that upset because the relationship was still new and deep feelings had not set in yet. She even said she hoped someone better would come along soon.

The fact that relationships that don't take off when and if we want them to is normal with lots of people. We chance upon someone and hope they will be the one we have been searching for or at least close to it. We don't want to have someone to be humourous only to find out that he can be too much of a clown. Not someone to be a hard worker and find that he/she is not around at all because of work. There's got to be acceptable allowances but fulfills our needs as well. Most importantly they just got to be there for us and committed as well.

Bar advice. In the end we have to remember that it either works out or we need to get out of the relationship we're in.