Talking to strangers

So many of us find it difficult, some nearly even impossible, to start talking to strangers. Maybe because it was so ingrained in us as kids that it was dangerous to do so, or maybe precisely the opposite. Maybe as adults we're all too aware of the sting of rejection.

Whatever the case, in the grown-up world, one without unnecessary ego attachments, there's nothing wrong with chatting up that cute girl or hot guy who's caught your eye. In fact, you may be missing out on an opportunity if you don't at least smile and say hello. You never know if they may be looking for a good person in their lives as well.On that note, believe it or not, the best thing to do might just be that simple. Smile. Yes, smile but sincerely. You know, not that plastered on,"I'm terrified doing this", kind of smile but rather a genuine warm greeting and say "hello". Ask how they are. Ask if they come there often (ironically of course because you both know you see each other in this space almost everyday). Just come out with small talk that hopefully makes sense and doesn't show your nerves. Be natural and if you make or say something dumb, laugh it off because the other person is probably feeling the same at that moment as well. They'll understand. You won't look stupid.

If it's the first time you're noticing this person, don't let that stop you. A little common everyday friendliness will help. Mention uncharacteristic weather, a headline in the news (particularly if a paper's in sight) or even the traffic and the door is opened to communication. Remember, your "pick up line" need not be a line at all (in fact, it shouldn't be), nor does it have to be the most creative conversation in the world. The point is to let the person know you've noticed them and have a conversation. Girls, especialy, should know that men will jump into a conversation if they initiate it because guys are worse in the approach game. They get all tongue tighed and the blurr state or stage fright syndrome takes over and they fear looking like a complete moron so they say nothing.

If you're still searching, take note of common ground. Even though the person in question may be a stranger, there's no doubt you share something in common. If you're at a certain place than you both go there often but if at that moment, it must be for a purpose. So try to get up the nerve to say something before the moment slips. Just remember, don't be afraid at what's the worst that can happen. Even they not responding in a friendly fashion or they completely ignore you. If that's the case, you're not really interested anyway, are you? Move on.

If you aren't particularly shy and can take it past a smile and hello, make your introduction more personal by noticing and commenting on something specific about your potential paramour. Are they wearing a new coat? Did they get a haircut? Do you always notice their shoes,dog,hair, beverage of choice? Whatever the detail, ask about it. Compliment it. Show, casually of course without seeming stalker like, that you've paid attention to them in the past or that you're paying attention at that moment. A person who is similarly interested will take the hint most of the time. They'll start to be interested in someone that notices them.

Lastly, if this whole idea makes you nervous, ask yourself why? What have you got to lose? Better to try talking and get no response than wonder about that "missed chance", right? If it helps, remember that people who are skilled at talking with strangers rarely plumb the depths with them in casual conversation. They start simple. They smile. They comment on the world around them. Then they find out, courtesy of the universe and its energy, that great things can happen when you're not afraid to reach out for the smallest human connection.

Bar advice. Technology makes the world a smaller place but if you can't communicate with another person in front of you, your world is still huge.

How to Turn Rejection Into Opportunity

You see, the thing about rejection is that it’s only a negative thing if you allow it to be. Sure, it feels lousy at first, but underneath that rejection is an opportunity that can change you for the better. What you feel and what you can do about it is two different things. So how to turn rejection into opportunity?

Ask for an Explanation. If you’re turned down for a job or a raise, calmly and coolly ask the rejecting person why. The reasons may have nothing to do with you (such as budget issues) or, if they do, you’ll be able to use this information to improve for next time. Resist Taking it Personally! It is important to realize that whatever someone says or does that appears to cause you pain is often, if not always, not personal. So if you’re feeling like the rejection is a personal affront to your character, let it go. Learning to let go is actually a simple process that is ingrained in all of us. However, most up us need to relearn the powerful act of letting go.

Let go of wanting to change what happened. If you’re wishing that you were the center of attention in your office, or envying the person who got your promotion, the colleague that dresses better, etc, you are only making matters worse. Let go of wanting to change what the others are doing or not doing, and allow yourself to let go of the feeling of being rejected. You cannot feel others rejecting you, you can only feel your rejecting them back. So let go of wanting to reject them back, and then notice how you relax and lose interest in what they think. You will also find that they begin treat you with much more love and respect.

Take back control. Being rejected can make you feel like a victim but you have been in control all along. The more you learn to let go of your hurt feelings, the more you will realize that only you have the power to determine how you feel. So rather than letting a rejection get you down, use the failure as a stepping stone to your future success.

Now lets look at the situation in a personal capacity when involved with someone. If you're trying to build a relationship with a person and they reject your offer of either getting together, going on a date or becoming more than friends, let it be. Don't let it chew you up inside. The world is made up of all sorts of people. You may not be their type. They may not like the way you look, dress or even talk. You don't expect to go up to Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt and they like you above all other persons, would you? If they rejected you, wouldn't you except it because they said so and move on? Sure you will. A celebrity, however, is no different than anyone else so why let it eat you up inside? If you can accept the rejection from a celeb(and I don't mean that they are any better) why not a normal person?

Shake it off and move on. People are sometimes hurt because the rejection comes a little later into knowing a person. They may have been going out for a while. They also could have been having sex. The rejection by one person may be due to indifference's about lifestyle issues or possibly their ideals of a spouse and partner. It's just one of those things where people find that it's not working out the way they like it to be. Maybe their "space" is being compromised. They may not be ready for a commitment or one is rushing the relationship and the other is feeling trapped. Whatever the rejection reason is one must respect the others decision. Take a bow and leave even with your head held high.

Bar advice. The rejection is sometimes lessons well learned. It makes a person better and brings tested feelings into light. Look into that light for better things to come.

The right flirting techniques for men

Did you know that research has been conducted to show that flirting is instinctive and is used to succeed with the opposite sex? Evolutionary and biological scientists even argue that flirting is the basis for reproduction.So what is the right flirting techniques for men?

There is evidence that supports the idea that our use of intelligence, language, humor, creativity and flirting are things that separate us from the animal kingdom. Simply complex processes designed to do two things. Make us feel important and attract and the opposite sex. If flirting is instinctive then why some men have to learn it, is always asked. While you're born with this ability, you still need to develop it. That means if you spent most of your childhood in front of the television, with limited social contact, then your communication skills will need improving. If this is you, don't worry as yet.

Some men use the right flirting techniques only to get rejection constantly. They'll conclude that flirting equals pain and never use it again from then on. They'll search for another approach to win over the women they want by being 'nice', buying flowers and giving compliments on her beauty. Which of course is not the best way to attract exceptionally beautiful women in the beginning. There's a time and place for everything. Let's look at the flirting techniques and apart from teasing women, what else should you do when talking to them?

While friends talk about hobbies, the weekend, and gossip, there is one form of communication that two friends never engage in with each other. Flirting is more than telling jokes, being funny and being confident. Sexual flirting speaks right to a woman's core and allows her to understand you in her language. While men tend to think very logically and straight down the line, women think emotionally. When interested in men, women hit and tease them, while women who aren't interested tend to stay in the demographics.

The conversation remains in the realm of asking you things like where you live and what work you do. That sort. She can be "interested" in your conversations, which can go for hours, but she'll never feel "attracted" to you. Why? Well women are different creatures; therefore they think, feel and act differently. If you want women to realize you're the man she's been searching for, you need to speak suggestively. Example would not be by saying how beautiful she looks but rather by suggesting that she's a 'bad girl'. While flirting is very powerful, it's also the most difficult concept to understand and explain. What makes flirting so powerful is the unspoken intent. A woman who like a man can sense thoughts about him even when nothing is said. Body, eye and facial movements can say much more than words.

Instead of just talking about each other, you should playfully suggest that you should "be together" without actually saying it, and never actually asking for it. It's a powerful mixture of eyes, posture, voice tone, touch and your words all combined to make her feel emotionally drawn to you. Maybe, as it's just a suggestion, one should read up on compatibilities of zodiac signs as well. This brings great help in dealing with those that you meet out of the blue. Another funny thing is the sense of smell is also playing a part in it but a lot of people don't know this. The natural aroma of a person draws another one into themselves and that's also why when the act of sex itself is ongoing people tend to breath in the other person deeply.

One way to remember what you need to do next is this. How would you act if the woman was your an annoying little sister? These method can be used after any comment or action the woman makes. Please don't go doing it till she cries like your little sister. She's going to hate you after that and see you as a bully. There's suppose to be just enough to put her in the mood. Make her fight with you in a playful way. Suggestive flirting is where you imply an interest and relationship between yourself and the woman. Let it move it's course from there.

Bar advice. When meeting someone new, give them a little time to adjust to you first. Sometimes the basic questions do help in bringing down walls but wait for the spark of interest to move further.