Monday, April 30, 2007

Confidence makes you Sexy

He walks down the street with a purpose to his step, and people notice him. He is aware of this. He especially likes the looks he gets from the ladies.

She is sitting on a bench awaiting the bus to arrive when she sees him approach from the opposite end of the street. There is just something about the way he carries himself. If she were asked to describe him using only one word, that one word would be. SEXY!!

Confidence is sexy in both men and women. However, the amount of confidence that should be displayed and still considered to be sexy differs between the sexes. Some women have had the misfortune of being labeled cold or uptight for appearing too confident. Whereas the same amount of confidence, when shown by a man does not draw such harsh criticisms.

Confidence sends a message of strength, bravery, competence, and skill to others. These positive qualities tend to attract others to the confident person. People are more likely to look for the guidance of a confident person in times of trouble and crisis. This is because confident people are strongly believed to be more level headed, able to think beyond emotions when problems or emergencies arise. Confident people tend to rise further in work careers and in other areas of life because their strong belief in themselves results in the trust of others, especially of those who can help them to further careers and social standings.

The appeal of these qualities, so often equated with confidence, (strength, bravery, competence, and skill) hearkens back to the time of the cave man. It was only those cave men who showed great confidence against such great adversity, who won the affections of cave women. Confident cave women appealed to cave men because it signaled that she was also quite capable of surviving the harshness of the world they were living in at the time. This encouraged mating between cave men and women, allowing the continuing survival of the human species despite the heavy perils to life that savage animals and environmental conditions presented for man at the time.

Today most of us live in comfortable homes, safely protected from the elements. None of us has ever had to face-down a lion in a battle for life and limb. Sexual relations are not just for the sole purpose of the continuance of the human species as it was back then. The steady growth of human populations throughout the world is testament to the fact that the human species is not in jeopardy of being lost. Still, we find confidence just as sexually appealing today as those early cave men and women did.

You can gain the confidence that will get you where you want to go in your career and life. Build your confidence. Walk with purpose in your step. Draw the attention you desire from the opposite sex with the best known aphrodisiac. Confidence!!

Did you know that exercise can help boost your confidence levels? Have you ever noticed how the really fit guy in the gym confidently lifting large weights, always seems to have a crowd of gals close to him? Have you wished for that kind of appeal with the ladies? Or how about the woman that men just can't seem to take their eyes off of, out on the dance floor with her tight, toned body, confidently grooving to the music? Would you like to have what she has? You can have the confident and fit body that commands the attention of others, through exercise.

Our society puts such an emphasis on physical beauty that it seems natural that the more fit and physically attractive a person the more confident they will be. Your sex appeal will increase with confidence and your confidence will increase the more attractive you are, and being in shape helps.

So the next time you're at the gym, hold your head high, even if you're not feeling so confident about yourself, this simple gesture holds a lot of power and you can certainly fake it. The more confident you feel about yourself the sexier those around you will find you.

Bar advice. Looks are not all thee is in life. Confidence gave Arthur Miller what he needed to be with Marilyn Monroe and he was just a timid writer. Can you do it?

Sunday, April 29, 2007

The Advice Sisters

Life & career expert Advice Sister Alison helps you make great relationships and attract success, happiness & love!

Bar advice. This site is rank No1 in search engines. There's always two perspectives to questions and it gives you a feel like you're takling to friends who are giving you their advice. Great read.

What's on our minds.

The things is that we are always having thoughts of pleasure on our minds. We have visions of winning the lottery. Flying to secluded destinations with people waiting on us hand and foot. We long for the easy life and it's lustfulness of being able to get what we want and more than anything, who we want. It has to be split between guys and gals but some stuff are similar between them.

The secret desires in our heads works differently. Some guys look at at a girl walking down the street and wish she was his girlfriend or wild lover. Sometimes they imagine the girl seeking their attention and wanting them sexually. The details are all too real to them at times. Many just think back at the porn that they saw a few days ago and substitute her face with the one in the show. It also goes to the work areas like when a guy is having a business meeting with a girl. He may slowly be undressing in his mind or imaging what she looks like naked. He may even role play, in his head, a drama of himself and the girl and of course it ends up with him getting her into bed and making love.

By the end of it and when reality starts to set back in he just goes on his way doing whatever it was that's normal.The next day is another day for pleasure for him and it's his release from the world and it's difficlties. The freedom to be on top of the world and every woman being his lets him get through the day.

These women fool most men. They use modesty or just pretend that they are innocent to these thoughts and desires. They won't tell guys that they are interested. That's for sure. They know that guys look at them and when they catch one doing it they look away so there's no misunderstandings. The plain truth is that they too have these lustful, pleasurable, naughty thoughts. They long to have a knight in shinning armor come sweep them off their feet. They would rather have Prince Charming kissing them than the frog they have in their life at the moment. Women's thoughts also stretch the imagination wild but theirs are more lengthy and romantic.

The girls like to even see themselves as a ravaging beauty in some magazine that the guys are after and will drop dead in front of them. Guys always imagine themselves as they are because they are not getting any ass at that moment so it makes them feel better. The reality is, most girls don't like what they see in the mirror and want to role play other ways. A lot of them do the whole porn show thing in their heads as well but women tend to be less intrusive, like taking "it" up the ass. Hers will be pleasurable with lots of steamy scenes, water flowing, hot bodies mashed together; unless her fetish is more to bondage or something, than anything goes. At the end, and when reality sets back in, she goes on her way hoping that someone has picked up on her thoughts and will present itself the next day.

I only gave a few points here. The fact is that most of us are in that zone daily. We think more about sex than anything else. Well, maybe money too. We want each other but we see the same person in different settings, seduction, romance, sexiness, roles and bed partners. Why? It's because we long for different pleasures. Men and women have different sexual needs. Guys who see porn feel inadequate because they are afraid the the girls may have seen porn and may expect him to have a cannon but when he pulls out a pee shooter, what's he to do?

Girls react differently to guys because they feel inadequate with things like the size of their breast. Maybe even that their Virgina may not be a welcome sight to him. Has he seen better? Is it tight? What's he thinking? Should I kill the lights? These things draw the women to their own sexual thoughts whereby she changes her appearance and knows what's on her mans mind and she's in control.

People fantasize daily. From money to banging the hottest Hollywood star or singer and we love it. If we didn't have that, our lives would be so screwed up that we would be miserable all the time.

Bar advice. It's human nature to have these thoughts. Whatever our marital status may be or age and even size, it's normal. The mind is a powerful tool. Use it.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Holistic Care & Modern Day Healthy Lifestyles: You are what you eat - Part 2....

Holistic Care & Modern Day Healthy Lifestyles: You are what you eat - Part 2....

Bar advice. This is a good blog to read. Get some good tips from here. We all neglect our health and realize when it's too late or when we get sick.

200 Resale Rights Pack

Bar advice. Some offers are just too good to pass up. This is one of them.

What sort of relationship are you in?

A relationship should be like a flowing river. Fresh, moving around and finding ways around obstacles. Enjoying a relationship should never be like a still pond of water that just exists. A relationship should have life and should never be a compromise.

Many relationships become like a pond. They began like river but are now stationary wondering where to go, and whether to exist at all. They continue existing without any pleasure. The main reason is the inability of partners to face the uncertainty of breaking the relationship. How does it end up that way?

The relationship continues because the partners do not want to face the future alone. They are tired of it and worried that they will undergo more pain if they break the relationship. They neither try to refresh the relationship nor break it. There lies the heart of the matter.

What should they do? They should sit together, talk about the stagnation in the relationship, and talk about how to give it a new life. If they decide that it will not be possible, they should break up and look towards a better future. A relationship without pleasure will break up any way after some years. By that time, lot of time would have been lost and the discord would leave a very bad stamp of experience on both the partners. Better to control the disease in time.

Worst thing that can happen is if both do not solve it and one of them gets involved with someone new and the other finds out. it will feel like a betrayal even if things weren't going smoothly and the relationship was stagnant. The other will feel that there was wasted time given to the other and all kinds of psychological effects will take place. It's sad to see things like that happen to people that start out really good then change and never seem to know what to do, how to change it and not find help from others.

You got to want to be in love and make your partner fight for your love daily. Even if people have kids, they have to have that 'special' time for themselves and always have the fire burning in their hearts for each other. When children, friends and family see that, it makes them search for love inside themselves as well.

Bar advice. Love yourself. Give onto others. Help people. Be generous. Pray. It's all good, you'll see.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Pain, trust and forgiveness.

Bar advice. Getting help from family and friends will help in the healing process. Seek prfessional advice if need be but remember this. Time is a great healer too.

Love is forgiveness

Most of the lovers do not forgive their loved ones. They may forgive their sworn enemy, but they may not forgive their lover. Do you agree with me? Why is this so? It should have been exactly reverse. Somehow it's a always the case of a third party.

What is love? What do we understand by loving someone? How is love different than other relationships and emotions? In love, we give our whole mind and heart to our beloved. We try to keep our beloved most comfortable. We take care not to hurt our darling. In love, we care for each other. We are in the mood of giving in love. Giving always gives more pleasure in love than anything else. If we give things, our heart, our being, our soul, our time and more; it doesn't matter to us because we feel so cherished and want to make the other happy.

If our lover makes a mistake, shall we berate them? Shall we blame them and give them pain? Shall we hold it against them forever? Shall we call them betrayer? If we do all this then it is not love, but a business relationship. You feel you have given so much now want the truth, faithfulness and everything else in return. You feel sad and confused. What has gone wrong?

In love, we have to forgive. We have to pacify our beloved that mistakes are a way of life and everybody does them. We have to tell them not to worry and we are with them. We have to tell them to stop thinking of what happened and think of good things and try to live life joyously. But a majority of us behave in reverse. That is our failure. It was never love to begin with. If you believe that you love your partner, please learn forgiveness.

A quick story is whereby I was forgiven for flirting with another girl and her friends told her about. It was really nothing and there was no intent for anything to happen. i guess I did not consider what her feelings about it would be. She confronted me and the girl about it. Nothing really did happen but it hurt her to know that I did something of that nature. In the end we had a long talk and I apologised for what happened and for hurting her. We made up and she cried for a while but was glad that we had sorted things out.

One thing that normally happens when women find out that a guy has cheated, not in my case though, is to seek out the other woman to confront her. She does this to see with her own eyes what was so special about the other woman. Also, she wants to give her a piece of her mind. The one thing is she forgets is that the guy is a willing party to the actions taken. She should be dealing the issues with the guy instead of the other woman who may not even know that he was seeing anyone. The worst thing happens to be the lack of respect that the guy has done if he sleeps with another when he's in a relationship. There's really something lacking in the relationship if this happens. Both need to tackle the problem with great desire.

If they are a married couple or not, forgiveness can still be allowed. Why? It hurts yes but the shame and guilt has been placed on the head of the culprit. The one you love and reality are still in love with although he may have done this terrible thing. It will take time but people can work things out. If it be the girl that has made the betrayal, most men will be devastated. Professional help may be need but it can be done as well.

Bar advice. The human heart is a fragile thing but it's ability to love and forgive is great. You may not know just yet your own ability.

Expressing appreciation

One very vital way we show that our spouse is important to us is by expressing appreciation. There's a tendency to forget the good things a person does and focus on his mistakes and errors. It should be the other way round with you and your spouse. Think more about their good works and express appreciation for them more than complaining about their errors.

Women are more likely to express their feelings of lack of appreciation than men, but neither wives or husbands should be taken for granted. Some people really want their relationships to work and will do whatever is necessary to ease the difficulty of their partner.

I remember when I was trying to run a home based internet marketing and I was run off my feet maintaining the website, taking calls from customers, packaging and shipping items, responding to emails, etc. Generally all the things that go with running a internet business. I had to do all of this and still do the bar business at the same time. It was really hard work. Much harder than what I'm doing now working at the bar. Then I worked Monday to Sunday, till 4 am most times. When you're with someone as well and trying to earn money and help with finances of two people, there's a slow down in a persons appreciation level if things are not going according to plan.

At the end of a heart-felt discussion where both express their feelings about the efforts, both making to move their lives forward, people realised one thing. We don't really want to give up what we were already doing, but what we both want from the other is appreciation. The discussion should be on just realizing that love is what drives us to do things for the other and not because we have to but because we want to.

After that discussion, make more of a conscious effort to express gratitude for the things that both do. So look at your spouse and the things that they do. Focus more on their good deeds than bad ones. And then learn to say an earnest "Thank you" or "Well done". Believe me, it goes a long way.

Bar Advice. Sometimes the simplest of things can brighten your partners day. Even loving the other more when he or she realizes that their partner is doing their best in the relationship. It's never too late.

Celebs without Make up

Bar advice. I will still give it to Mariah Carey and Jessica Simpson. Even without the make they are hot. Don't get me wrong. This video just proves that people don't realize that celebs are normal people away from the glamour.

Web Directory
Human-reviewed and family friendly web links.

Our obsession with celeb pictures

Celebrity pictures have graced our walls, minds and hearts since well before the massive popularity of the World War II pin up girls that so many GI's took with them and "pinned up" on the drab, barrack walls. During this time, movie stars such as Betty Grable and Rita Hayworth were wearing what was considered at the time to be the scantily clad attire of a one piece swimsuit, or a somewhat low-cut, bikini or full length evening gown.

Many historians believe the start of the celebrity icon picture infatuation in America began with the 1887 debut of the "Gibson Girl", when the mere thought of a woman's bare ankles were enough to send anyone to an afterlife of damnation. This passion continued into the new century, straight through the roaring twenties with the infamously sexy "Flapper Girl". The years following the stock market crash of 1929 were somber in more ways than one, but great prosperity followed these depressing years, including the latest, more revealing pin up girls and celebrity pictures and photos of the 1950's.

Before the inception of the World Wide Web, our celebrity fascinations were limited to magazine pictures, purchased posters, and collectible shoppes. But now, we can access the latest photos of our favorite stars instantaneously, with just a click of a mouse (and maybe the help of a search engine or celebrity site).

Since then, the glamour of Hollywood has tightened its hold on us, for the beauty that these icons represent goes unmatched by anyone that we come in contact with on a day to day basis. We've all heard the stories of plastic surgeries and eating disorders, drug use and abuse, not to forget about the on again/off again romances that grace the covers of the supermarket tabloids, yet our obsessions continue. For example, Britney Spears has had her once sparkling image dragged through the mud by the very same media that made her a superstar. Her personal life, including her marriage and motherhood tactics leave a foul taste in our mouths, but she is still one of the most sought after celebrities, with her name constantly on the top searches across the internet for pictures and information.

A picture or photo of our favorite celebrity can bring much needed joy to any of us, even if it's only for a moment or two. If looking at such a photo or illustration can put a smile on our face and get us through a crazy, hectic, new millennium day, then there really seems to be no harm in looking at one of a million celebrity pictures out there. After all, the pictures we long to see are just a click away.

One bad thing that comes out of all this is more to the female side than to males. What is it? Anorexia and Bulimia. Lots of the girls seem to think that it is the way to go. They look so much to the magazines and tabloids and don't know that sometimes these celebs get operations or check themselves into clinics to get better from some bad situation themselves. We get so obsessed with them that we want to believe that they live a fairy tale life. Worst is we want to be them. It's fine to watch and read but to follow...well then make yourself a star.

Bar advice. Like Oprah Winfrey said " Lead your best life". make that happen and you'll be a star in your own right.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Finding relief from an abusive relationship.

When the two of you are taking your vows of marriage, saying “I do”, the thought that the relationship would seriously deteriorate probably never crossed your minds. That is a day of happiness for you, thinking you had each found your soul mate.

But the one thing about life is that change is inevitable. If a couple is able to change at the same time and in the same direction as life circumstances change, the change can be a good thing and keep your relationship healthy. But if you each change separately and/or in different directions, there are going to be problems. One of the biggest problems is that a once loving relationship turns into an abusive relationship.

The word “abusive” does not necessarily mean physical violence. (Although it can be that, and at that point the local authorities and police department via the domestic violence department can lend a needed hand) but abuse can also happen in other ways, sometimes very subtle way.

One partner may take every opportunity to verbally abuse the other, whether in private or even in public like at office parties. These little cuts and defamation's all add up, until the person who is saying them eventually starts to believe them, and the person who is the brunt of the cruel joke also starts to believe that they are stupid or not worthy, causing a severe lowering of their own self-esteem.

Counseling, as quickly as possible, is the best answer. But that depends on both parties being willing to attend the counseling sessions. If only one partner attends the counseling sessions, the session will not be effective in terms of resolving the problem, but may indeed start to turn into topics of whether or not divorce is the answer. There is no rule of thumb to determine if divorce is the real answer, even though that would be a pretty drastic move. At the same time, you need to realize that if your paths in life have diverged significantly from where they were when you were at the point of your marriage vows, there is a decent chance that it is unlikely that your paths may ever converge again, unless both of you take drastic steps to make that happen. And like with the counseling sessions, this is something that both of you need to work on, since just one of you will be unable to make changes that will accommodate both of you. It is a two way street.

If counseling is not an option, perhaps because of cost or perhaps because one of the two people is unwilling to attend counseling, then the two people need to sit down in a quiet place without distractions and talk it out. Communication, really effective communication between two people can take a relationship to tremendous heights if it can be done effectively, where the “ground rules” clearly indicate there will be no yelling, no blaming, and the goal is to come to a common meeting place as far as what direction you both need to take to get to where you want to be.

One very good method is to have two sets of relatives or friends who are married as well that can be called on anytime to come to the rescue if abuse is happening. They will be able to help and advise both of you and it helps them not to have the same problems as well. It also gives the troubled couple an outlet from hurting the other. When people see others in need it helps them to be better involved in their marriage as well because they have will have first hand encounters with people that have the problem. It makes them and their relationship better. Those that just get married should learn from others and find ways to help those in need as it will strengthen themselves.

Sometimes the couple needs to consider whether divorce is an option. Divorce is not something you enter into on a whim, it is a huge step especially if there are children, yet sometimes a step that needs to be seriously considered. Seek proper help first to change things and not give in without a fight.

Bar advice. A abusiveness relationship is not something you need to put up with, nor is it something that you need to tolerate. Before things get really serious, get good advice from your religious leaders, parents, relatives and close married friends. This will help settle yourselves to understand the sacrifice needed for it to work.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Parenting your teenager

Does this sound familiar? "What ever happened to that sweet little kid we used to have a few years ago?" Teens can be difficult, and this should not be surprising, considering all the changes during adolescence that they go through. You will need to up the ante on your patience to be able to cope with them.

Even though you were once a teenager, and may have been difficult to your parents, it still takes a lot of effort to understand what your teen is going through. It will be your responsibility to bridge the communication gap between you and your child.

This is not always easy, and you will have to do your best during two crucial periods in your child's life. Adolescence and young adulthood. Your children will need all the guidance and understanding you can provide. Communication and understanding, during these sometimes trying times, may very well set the tone for the life decisions your child will make.

Here are a few tips that should help with teen parenting bonding issues:

1. Learn What Your Teen Enjoys
When your teen was a child, finding things to do was a snap. But, as they grow into their teens, you will have to work extra hard to learn about what your teens like. It may not be easy, but being able to relate to your teens likes and dislikes is integral to building an open and meaningful relationship with your child.

Remember, to be a good parent, you also have to be a good friend.

2. Being Strict Is Not A Bad Thing
Most teenagers bristle at rules and restrictions. They feel that they are old enough to take care of themselves. The invincible syndrome. While this is partially true, teens still have a need for restrictions. With new found freedoms, and desires; they could very well hurt themselves if they do not restrain themselves responsibly. Make your teen understand that he or she will be given greater freedom, but with greater freedom they must develop greater responsibility, and accountability. Freedom without responsibility is useless.

Make sure you help your teen learn to plan ahead. You do not have to plan it for them; just help guide them to make good decisions on their own.

3. Communicate Daily
Daily communication is important in keeping the channels of concern open. You teen will be more inclined to confide in you if you engage in daily conversation. Confiding in someone takes some practice and some trust. This can only be build by meaningful relationships that are facilitated by good communication. Learning to understand the world your teen lives in will put you in a better position to not only gain their trust, but to have a greater understanding of their overall behavior.

Daily communication will show your teen that you care for them. This is a very important teen parenting factor, since teens will feel more comfortable with parents that are actively involved with them. In the absence of parental involvement, teens may turn to unreliable peers when looking for guidance, or comfort. It is very important for a teens parents to provide the guidance and caring they require.

Another important thing that you can do is to get your teen to bring his or her friends home. Get to know them and be a second parent to the friends but not meddling and looking over their shoulders all the time. This way you know who they are and what is going on in your kids life and who he or she mixes with. Girls and boys will have different needs and need different approaches.

Bar advice. By the time he or she grows into a young adult and may be off to college or university, you would at least have a relationship with them and hopefully , even with new found freedom, the values, love and self pride and dignity makes them better people in society. At the same time it puts your mind at ease as well.

Vrginia Tech - Massacre

Well I bet most people around the world has heard about the shooting that took place in the US at Virginia Tech. Where's the sense it what happened? People are now asking questions and so few answers especially for the victims families.

There's already a lot of tragedy that we hear and see on the news. Just turn on CNN or your local stations and you'll find there's some madness going on in the world. Shootings, killings, destruction, terrorism, violence, suicide and much more. We live in a terrible world at times and a lot of us are lucky that we don't live in that particular parts or affected by it. Some of us live in some peaceful place and it shocks us to hear such stories.

Where there is so much oppression, terrorism, dictatorships, lawlessness and more in the world is something that we see, hear, cope with, despise on, frown upon and hold in disgust but when it a story about some kid that had got a better life living in the US, huge future and more; it is just unbelievable. How and why would someone do such a thing to kill others and destroy the lives of families who had so much dreams and aspirations for their children.

Whatever the problem could have been the shooter, Cho, does not deserve any sympathy from anyone for his act of cowardice. it is now left in Gods hands to dispense justice. I shall not write anymore to add to the fame of this sad situation.

Bar advice. There are a lot of people out there that need proper psychiatric and psychological help. If you know anyone like that, help them get it or tell someone that you think may help that person.

Monday, April 16, 2007

How to make it work?

Ever run into a brick wall, so to speak, with your mate? Can’t
seem to pass “Go” without collecting 200 fresh wounds? Well,
it’s time to build a bridge and tear down that brick wall. Here
are your tools:

1.ATTITUDE – Get an attitude adjustment first. Lighten up and do
a 180-degree about face. Read the Sunday comics, grab an old
comic book, turn on the Comedy channel, watch funny videos or
DVDs. Get in a better mood and pass it along to your mate.
Invite your mate to tune in to comedy with you, too.

2. FRIENDSHIP – Go back to being friends for starters now that
you’re in a good mood. Forget the love stuff, if you want. And
just focus on being good friends; share compliments, do things
for one another, go out and have fun together, enjoy one
another’s company.

3. RELAX – Let your hair down. Trust and relax. Be yourself.
Don’t let old wounds open or fester. Forget the garbage
memories and just be in the here and now together.

4. TIME OUT – If possible, spend extra time together for
awhile, like during your original courting days. Hire a sitter,
order out, eat at fast food places, grab ice cream cones and go
for walks in the park. Get to know each other all over again.
That’s the key. Then you’ll remember why you fell for each
other in the beginning and history will hopefully repeat

5. COMMUNICATION – Take it slow and easy. Keep away from
subjects that you don’t agree upon. And slowly re-learn to
communicate with each other all over again. If necessary, and
it’s not a crime or shame – get help. Seek a trusted friend or
adviser, a church clergy member or certified professional
counselor. No need to go it alone. Find your weak areas and how
to over come them and plan for future communication

6. GOALS – Gradually develop goals together so you’ll have a
direction to head. Write them down in a notebook just for the
two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross
them off your list. The idea is to have goals together and work
towards a common goal.

7. SCRAP BOOK – Create a memory album together. Add photos,
clippings, menus and anything that reminds you of the “good
times.” Then when tough times comes, you’ll have something to
“hold on to” – your bridge to romance.

Bar advice. So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve
your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by
while you hold on to your relationship.Work your own magic.

Centerfold men &Bikini Destinations

Bar advice. These DVDs are great for both the guys and gals to enjoy. Actually both can get great tips from watching the videos about other men and women. How they tackle their sensual and seductive side that helps their lives. Word of caution the bikini models are nude in this one.

Bikini Babes from Mars

Bar advice. This is a little info on the string bikini. It's roots and the story of how Rose de Primo, the original Girl from Ipenema, came up with the Tonga( string bikini). Ah! The joy and pleasure for all men out there.

Irresistible Attraction

Based on both scientific research and real-world testing, this book gives you far more strategies that you can absorb and apply immediately. The value comes from using the information, not from just learning about it.

One way to benefit the most is to select a few behaviors and patterns whose benefits you want most. Keep this book handy while you're making habits of those initials behaviors and getting the results you want. Then select a few more actions and apply regularly. Repeat for as long as you want more positive results.

Bar advice. If you're lacking in confidence then I suggest you get help in that direction first before using this book. Amazon has a great list of help in this as well. If you need help just talking to the opposite help then you really need help. Geeze!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Their eyes were watching God

Oprah Winfrey Presents THEIR EYES WERE WATCHING GOD, the story of a remarkable and resilient woman's quest for love and fulfillment based on the best-selling book by Zora Neale Hurston. Academy Award(R) winner Halle Berry (Best Actress 2003, MONSTERS BALL) stars as the beautiful Janie Crawford, who embarks on an emotional and dramatic journey of self-discovery.

Refusing to compromise in spite of society's expectations, Janie endures two stifling marriages until finally finding love in a passionate romance with a much younger man. In one of the greatest, most lyrical love stories ever written, Janie experiences all that life has to offer, from unbelievable triumph to unspeakable heartbreak. Be inspired again and again by this timeless story of passion, romance, and the spirit of true love.

Bar advice. This is also a good book to get. It was 10 years in the making and now is finally out as a movie. Great for romance.

How to attract the person of your dreams?

In my quest to find the perfect mate, I often ended up dating or
attracting people who were completely wrong for me. It was only when I
realized a simple truth that my entire concept of relationships

Practitioners of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) have a rule that
states: The meaning of your communication is the response that you get.

That means the response you elicit from a person depends entirely on
how you communicate your ideas to them. If you communicate in a way
that gets you the response you desired, you were successful. If not,
you need to learn what was missing in your communication and how to
incorporate that the next time you try. Notice how this rule places the of getting a response on YOU, not
on the other person.

If you extrapolate this to relationships, you could say, "The kind of
person you attract depends on the kind of person you are." Our
relationships, and the people we attract into our lives, are just a
reflection of who we are, at that point in our lives.

We often talk about men or women being "emotionally unavailable" or
unwilling to commit to a better relationship. But the kind of people we
attract into our lives often tend to be people who mirror our
personality or the issues we are dealing with, in some way.

If, deep down, you have a fear of commitment or of "losing your
freedom", then you're going to attract a mate with the same issues. If
you have no self-love or low self-esteem, you'll end up attracting
people with the same problems. The reason why we see patterns in our lives, why we get into abusive or unfulfilling relationships, is because we've not dealt with the issues that were responsible for creating our own beliefs and personalities.

The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. If you think positive thoughts, you'll attract good things to you. If you respect people and do good by them, you'll elicit the same response from them.If you want to attract a person with all the qualities you want in a mate, then you must develop those qualities in yourself.Want your mate to be more loving, giving and kind? Then become more
loving, giving and kind. Want your mate to be health-conscious? Start taking charge of your own health and fitness.Want your mate to have a good sense of humour? Take the time and effort to develop your own sense of humour.Want your mate to be financially secure? Get your own finances in order. Want your mate to be emotionally available? Commit to sharing more of yourself first.

If you've been attracting the wrong kind of people into your life, take
a good look at the person in the mirror. Get to know yourself better.
You'll find the answers are all inside you.

Bar advice. If you want a better relationship, you must become a better person. To
attract the mate of your dreams, you must become the person you want to
attract.Don't expect people to be what you want then to be unless you're going to do it too.

Asking a guy out

In this day and age it's not wrong to ask a guy out. We do things in a modern way now like splitting the check so girls should be able to ask guys out. Are you guilty of taking a passenger seat in your personal life? Move over! We hear time and again that the burden of posing the question is a responsibility most men don't relish. Let's face it, if you wait for him, it might not happen!

It's time to be the open and confident woman you are. Forget subtlety, your best hints will only slip under his radar. Shy types, don't fear, you don't have to be super forward either. The key is to be clear, but casual. Look for an opening, and if you don't see one, make one!

The Payback
If a man you've been eying goes out of his way for you, seize the moment as the golden opportunity it is. He picks up the tab for coffee. Offer to return the favor sometime. He gives you a ride, offers helpful advice and introduces you to a professional contact? Then you totally owe him lunch (or dinner!) for that. Offering to "pay him back" is a playful and relatively safe way to say you appreciate his efforts and would like to see more of him. You'll be surprised.

The Mission
Should a local attraction or place come up in conversation (or you make sure it does), make a mission of discovering it together. It works for restaurants and martini bars as well as museums and theme parks, and it doesn't take much. At the mention of somewhere interesting, casually suggest, "We should go sometime." Unless he's completely dense, he'll pick up the cue. If you want to be a bit bolder, seal the deal yourself with a sly "Wanna check that out with me next week?" Make an offer that is clear and immediate and you're likely to get the same in return. Keep working along those lines for all other things as well.

The Premiere
Bring up the movies (hopefully there's something out you both want to see). Then give him an opening. "We should go see it this week." If you feel more comfortable with a cover, add that your friends aren't really into the flick or have already seen it. This one's great because you've given him a wide open invitation. He knows the way is safe, and still has the chance to do the aggressive guy thing. Sometimes it's good to make it seem like it's his idea. He'll feel good about himself and your night will be great.

The Tip
It's never a bad idea to tap his mind, just try to make it an honest question. Are you looking for a good cyber cafe near the office? Something to do after work? Looking for a new bar to hang out at? He just might have some insights (and be interested in keeping you company).

If you know anything about him, ask a question in the realm of his expertise. If he works in computers, you might get his help on a technical question or ask for advice on a reasonable upgrade. If he's an artsy type, stick to the arts. Maybe you're not in on the scene and are looking for a good art opening. With luck, he'll be happy to take a look at your Mac or escort you to the event. At the very least, you'll get a decent tip and owe him dinner for the trouble.

Bar advice. Try to get more info about him. Draw on what info you can gather on him and use it to your advantage. Guys like it when girls are knowledgeable about things that interest them. It gives them a window of conversation because some guys just don't know what to say to a woman. Trust me, if you make it easy for them it becomes easy for you.

Chasing Bars

Bar Advice. Thought I would start off to today with a little humour about 3 Doors Down song "Chasing cars" that was humourously changed to "Chasing Bars".The you tube video is silly and funny but a lot of us have done this at one time or another. Well maybe some of us.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Career and relationships

While you’re soaring with the eagles at work, things are about as low as they can get on the home front. This is a quandary many people before you have had, but within the situation is an opportunity to evaluate life.

Often it takes a relationship breakdown of divorce proportions to force us to stop and take stock of the meaning and direction of our life.

We also know that “love” is one of the pillars of our life. We also know it’s not logical to be working as hard and as long as we do, creating all the money and success imaginable only to end up alone and unable to share all the fruits with the one you love the most.

What the successful career, rocky relationship situation provides you with though is an opportunity to evaluate. Let me explain.

Life is about purpose. You, within your life purpose, above everything else, are striving for happiness and in order to help you evaluate your situation I have a few questions for you that takes you right to the heart of the matter.

Are you happy “with you” in your relationship?
Are you happy with your partner in the relationship?
Do you still want the relationship?
Are you still in love today with that person?
Can the relationship be salvaged? If so, how?

Are you using work to hide from something at home? Children; in-laws; step-children, the pain of a family death; something your partner said to you months ago that hurt and you never let go of it?
Are there pressures at home that could be worked out with a different strategy i.e. outside help, like coaching or counseling?

Do you love your work more than your partner?
Do you change into a different person that you don’t like when you cross the threshold, or when you turn into the street?

Many situations can be worked out if you want to work them out. In the short term talking or working together can work, but you must be careful that you don’t just stick a plaster over what appeared to be a small wound only for it to reopen again later.

One of the ways to avoid this is to strip down your life in order to rediscover your self. Doing this will make you happy, not just for an hour or a day, but for life. The truth will set you free.

People who have been in successful careers, rocky relationships are using this situation to reevaluate their meaning and direction in life. They’re doing it and finding they’re now mastering more than just the career pillar, but the relationship one too.They are growing into stronger, fitter, happier people. Do you want to join them?

Bar advice. Work on the relationship. If you've been in it a long time, stop and think for a moment. Lots of relationships go up and down. Seek help if you have to but don't let the ship sink if there's something you can do to keep it afloat.

ChickMagnet 101

Bar advice. This is a really good way to get some knowledge of what's going on with flirting by women. Guys can listen and learn secrets easily.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Tokyo Girl Downunder

Bar advice> Well worth the read at this award winning blog.

Flirting 101& How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace

Flirting 101
This is an insightful read for those who want to learn how to flirt, how to charm people, and/or how to read people better. The book is a quick and enjoyable read. It goes into how to charm all different types of people and mentions the differences (visual, auditory, etc.) and how to recognize these and still charm them. It has some good examples on how to make good impressions on people just by simple little acts like asking questions rather than talking about yourself, or when making a point touch their elbow for a strong effect. So far I've put quite a few of the practical tips to use and have gotten excellent results.

How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace
Guys, especially, can learn a lot from this book. It's full of helpful hints for those of us who are shy or not naturally outgoing, and it provides some insight into the female value system - so often such a mystery to men. Well worth the read.

Bar advice. I recommend this for a fun read that can be insightful, even to a seasoned flirter. There's lot's of help out there for people and lot's of hope as well.

Flirting tips

How to flirt without really flirting.

Most people are not comfortable to speak to strangers and that is why it is not appreciated if you just start a conversation with almost anyone. That is why in airports, on planes and trains, and in other public places it is hard to indulge in small talk for most of us but if you take the right approach, you can successfully meet new people, even make friends and the best of all, flirt. The beauty of a lot of these encounters is that you can go a bit further simply because you know that you probably will not meet with the same person again.

Techniques for women to make the first move.

Smile. It works since it is a great ice-breaker and makes you look approachable. Almost all men are won over by this. Glance at him or even keep a fixed gaze on him.

If you are close to him, brush up against him. Men treat it as a positive sign of acceptance. If you are in a group, show special interest in him, ask questions and try to move him away from the group.Lick your lips during eye contact. Parade close to him with exaggerated hip movement so that he will notice you and will know that you are interested. Basically it means that sometimes you have to strut your stuff.

Ask for his help with something. Remember how girls would drop their books in college when they wanted the guy to come to help and break the ice. Do not play hard to get.Guys tend to brand women like that as bitches.

Techniques for men to make the first move.

Lots of good eye contact. Women always look at guys directly in the eye. Lots of smiles, compliments, and nice gestures. Try to move physically closer but be careful. You do not want to be overly aggressive but you do want to show your interest in physical intimacy. Maybe you can hold her at the waist when in conversation.

Show interest in her. Ask a lot of questions about her and maintain eye contact all the time. Follow-up questions helps as well. Keep talking about yourself to a minimum level. Just throw in a point here and there just to make sure that she does not think that you have nothing to talk about. If you don't know the subject you should say so. Don't pretend like you do and get caught flat footed when a question is being asked about the topic. It will make you look stupid and she's going to know it. Remember the saying which goes something like this. "You make look like a fool but if you open your mouth it will confirm it".

Bar advice. Play the game. You got to sense it with that person. Try harder. Make the effort to go that extra distance. Make time the bench mark. You must give yourself certain periods of the day or night a fixed target to achieve what your plan is. Even if it's a first time meeting with someone, come up with a impromptu one. What have you got to loose?

Monday, April 9, 2007

Don't limit yourselves guys.

The success of any encounter with a woman depends on a series of factors, but, undeniably, the most important one is the mental component. A mentally strong person is surrounded by a powerful charisma and will find the dating game a lot easier to play than an insecure person.

Now don’t get nervous. You don’t have to have nerves of steel to score with women. Instead you can learn how to use your nervousness to your advantage and transform it into the fuel needed on the "battlefield".

“Yeah right,“ you say. But what happens when your heart starts pumping like crazy and your voice and hands shake every time you approach a girl?

First of all you should know (know it and believe it) that it is all in your mind. You are your own worst enemy telling yourself that you can't do it, that you're not good enough or that she would never be with someone like you. Instead of sabotaging yourself try to have a more positive attitude. It will make you seem more confident and therefore more attractive.In order to be successful you have to project self confidence and strength. But how can you pose as a successful man when inside your head there is this voice that keeps telling you that you're actually a loser?Strength comes from within so there is where it all starts.

Imagine the successful completion of your objective before you approach a woman, or even head out the door. Know exactly what you want to achieve both short term and long term with women.Set achievable goals.

Ex. I am coming home with one or more women’s phone numbers.

Ex. I am having sex with an attractive woman tonight.

Imagine the whole scenario. Picture the successful completion of your objective then work backwards.What did you need to do to reach that objective? Does it mean dressing a little differently?

Maybe do a search online for great jokes or pick up lines? Women love men that make them laugh.Plan on a different kind of club than you normally go to? If you are interested in an upscale girl, then the local pub may not provide what you are looking for.Dating attractive, intelligent women takes planning.

Bar advice. Know what you want, create a strategy and go after her. If you need more help than talk to someone or get help books.

Chasing Cars ( Grey's Anatomy Special)

Bar advice. Those that have seen Grey's Anatomy will know it. What it shows as well is the pain, troubles, difficulties and daily struggles that people go through to make it in the world. Sometimes we can't do it by ourselves. Sometimes we need to reach out.

Here without you

Bar advice. Sometimes we all feel bad when we break up, divorce, loose someone or move away. That's part of life but they will always be in our hearts and minds. It's OK to cry.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Questions about relationships

I’ve got one big question. It’s a question that will make everything in your relationship completely worthwhile. Even the bits that get on your nerves and cause you head and heart aches.It’s the type of question you wouldn’t ordinarily ask but that’s okay, because you didn’t know to ask it… until now!

For most people, relationships don’t go smoothly. Undercurrents, disputes, emotions, periods, children, habits, morals, values, work hours and workloads, these are just a few of the kind of things that can cause conflicts. But what if I told you something.What if I told you it’s not about the issue?

My philosophy is that no issue is bigger than the relationship. If we’re honest it’s never really the issue that causes the problem. What causes the problem is the emotions behind the issue and what causes the emotions?

What causes the our relationship conflicts is, at the core, very rarely the issue that’s in front of us now. This may seem hard to take at first so let me explain a little more.

When we react to something someone says or does we are in effect re-acting - behaving in way we acted before. This is what we might call learned behaviour. We may have learned that behaviour in a number of ways. Watching our parents behaviour in a relationship, seeing it on TV, school, older siblings or our own experience etc.

Are these learned re-actions appropriate in all circumstances?
I’d say no. A few days ago my partner made a sweeping statement that… well… to be frank, pushed all my buttons. What she said was like a red rag to a bull. Thankfully I caught myself before any real damage was done. I immediately knew there was nothing wrong with what she had said, or how she had said it. But the words she used, reminded me of someone else and a pattern of behaviour I ran with them. This is the type of conditioned, unconscious, response I’m talking about.

If your partner presses your buttons does it mean the relationship bad?Conflict doesn’t have to mean the relationship is bad. It can indicate that you, or your partner, or most probably both of you, on occasions, have some things that you need to become more aware of. If you can begin to view your relationship as a playground to work these things out, the relationship can become a whole new arena of fun and games. And this is where my question can really help.

My question will get you thinking about the how you can help yourself and your relationship become a harmonious haven rather than a gladiator’s ring. It will help you be a more understanding person for your partner and it will help to spare you from saying things you’ll regret later.

The question is profoundly simple. But when you ask it and use the outcome effectively you begin to take your relationship onto a new level.Things that used to cause you problems will vanish. And when new things come up they’ll have very little power.

When you find your buttons have been pushed the question you have to ask is this: What’s this really about?

Simple isn’t it. But it takes you right to the heart of the matter. As I said, relationship conflict is rarely about an issue and more to do with the conditioned responses.

By asking my question what you do is take the conditioned behaviour and transform it into the conscious. In effect what begins to happen is this. You move beyond the past conditioned response that causes conflict and are left with the current issue. This question allows you to understand what’s going on inside you. Knowing this means you can then bypass the past and deal with what is currently before you.

But what if you don’t want to move beyond the past? Then I guess you’ll continue to re-act it out until the pain and loss get the better of you. Change it and you and your partner will be free of this problem.

Bar advice. You and your partner should talk together. Get a mirror and help each other talk to your image in front of the other and ask those all important questions about yourselves and the relationship. Try it. It works!

复活节 Easter bunny and family

If you want to have a ball this year then consider throwing an Easter egg hunt. There is no better way to get the whole family together and enjoying the holidays like they should. This type of fun will ensure that all of the kids will have more fun than they have ever had before.

If you want to plan the best possible Easter egg hunt you should consider getting everyone that you know involved. Talk to your family members, especially the ones who have kids, along with all of your friends. Try to arrange it so that you can all get your kids to participate in the Easter egg hunt. This will make it a thousand times more fun.

For generations children have been playing and having fun in Easter egg hunts and there is no reason why your family cannot do the same thing. This is one of the finest of all family Easter traditions. Your Easter egg hunt can have real eggs or candy eggs; it does not matter.

Many people choose to spend the night before Easter dying and decorating all kind of Easter eggs with the kids.This makes for a wonderful holiday craft that everyone can enjoy. Some may even break but that will just bring out more laughter and fun. These eggs can then be placed all around the yard or park, depending on where you choose to have the Easter egg hunt.

What many families do is hide real eggs outside for the kids to hunt for and at the end of the Easter egg hunt these eggs get traded for candy. This way no candy gets dirty or wasted and if some eggs get left behind it is not a big deal. The best part though is coloring the eggs together the night before. This is a fantastic together time that you just would not have if you used candy eggs for the Easter egg hunt.

Another way is to have someone hide the eggs earlier before the kids get up. Tell them that the eggs are hidden by the Easter bunny. get them excited. Later get someone to play the part of the Easter bunny in a suit and exchange the real eggs for candy ones. If the kids ask why they have to do that, tell them that the Easter bunny needs them for other parties for other kids as well.

After the Easter egg hunt you can arrange for a wonderful brunch for all of the participants - kids and adults alike. Everyone can then discuss what a great time they had during the hunt and how to make it even better the next year. Easter egg hunts are something that everyone can enjoy and no one will ever regret having. It is a fun and easy idea that will be remembered for years. Just remember to bring your camera!

Bar advice. We need to take time out for activities like this. Relationships at home are really refreshed with things like this. There is also the need to explain the meaning behind Easter to kids.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Men who pay escorts

The first image that comes to my mind when hear the word Escort is an athletic woman with jet-black hair, sparkling brown eyes, olive tan, an incredible behind, a smile to die for and 4 inch black pump heels. A true Latina beauty. So why is it that so many men contact women over the internet via On-Line Adult Directories and flip through local newspaper Adult Entertainment pages searching for the perfect hot n’ sexy date? Most men say they are lonely and would appreciate the company of a beautiful woman for just an hour or two to fill the void.

Many men say that they pay for sex because it “is easy to get exactly what you want”. You don’t have to worry about any surprises. When you have the option of setting up a date by viewing a picture of your dream girl, reading her description and simply making a telephone call (or sending an e-mail) and your date shows up at your door 30 minutes later, it almost sounds too perfect.

Other men that I have talked to make a point to emphasize that paying for sex via calling upon an escort is ideal because there is “no emotional attachment with the other person”. You don’t have to sit down at a dinner table (unless you want to) and listen to your date go on and on about all of the generally boring stories about their life and what ails them. On the other hand, your date will readily listen to you ramble on about your personal problems as long as you are on the clock.

Do men enjoy watching porn movies? Try this, ask 100 men if they have ever watched an adult movie and if they enjoy doing so. The overwhelming response to your question will undeniably be a YES. Some lucky guys do find a partner that enjoys porn just as much if not more than he does. Most men will agree that their girlfriend or wife does not watch porn however this may be not be the case for everyone you speak to. This is another reason some men pay for sex, they fantasize about ‘the porn-star experience’. Deep down inside the majority of men yearn for that wild, kinky, sloppy, crazy … you know what I mean. Paying a few hundred bucks for mind blowing latex fueled sex doesn’t sound like too bad of an investment if your regular (sex) life is boring. Variety and spice may be good thing.

Not many men will admit they are afraid of rejection. Well guess what, women are too. The vast majority of men would rather not be turned down after asking a girl out on a date or to a movie. It’s just a daunting thing. There are rarely turn down’s when arranging a date with an escort unless she is all booked or under the weather. Tomorrow is another day and your luck ought to improve with another telephone call.

In Asia the girls are easier to come by. With a choice ranging from Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia, Phillipines, and even China. Money is what they need and the disguise of being labeled an escort is better than a prostitute. Guy's that book them are just looking for a quick way to meet up with someone and have a conversation. He know's that it's his choice to end it without the sex act but he still has to pay for the hours though. Still, he's in control.

Bar advice. So you have just ended your 2 or 4 hour date with the woman of your dreams and she really seemed to care about you. Now she’s gone and guess what, you’re lonely again. Was it worth it? Only you will truly know.

Cyberspace online dating

Do you frequently feel lonely late at night when the house is empty? Yes indeed, you are all alone with a bowl of stale soup. You could say that life couldn't be better, right? Okay, who are we kidding? Of course life could be better. For starters, you need to make a new bowl of soup. Then you should do something exciting. Why don’t you call one of those phone sex hotlines? No, scratch that idea!

Those things are fake anyway. I suspect that these phone sex hotlines are all scripted, maybe even pre-recorded. Anyway, there are other ways to cure your boredom. Have you ever heard about adult online personals? This is the hottest stuff in the dating scene these days. It's about time that you caught up with the new millennium.

In the past, I though that adult online personals were rather lame. However, my views changed when I witnessed my best buddy meet a hot girl through the Internet. I was shocked! Did you ever think 20 years ago that couples would be making first contact through a computer? Nowadays there are just so many adult online personals to sort through. It makes total sense if you actually take the time to think about it, since we all spend a lot of hours on our computers already. We might as well make computers a medium for meeting other singles.

Adult online personals are a brilliant way to interact with other singles. There's no reason to be nervous with this method because you won’t be face to face with anyone. You're merely getting a feel for what they're like online. If you do decide that you want to meet up with them, you can if the feeling is mutual. That's the great aspect of adult online personals. You can post your information out in the World-Wide-Web and others will come to you.

Are you interested in adult online personals? Then you can start by posting your information on the Internet. You can find other singles just like yourself who enjoy the same past times and activities. You may even meet your soul mate this way. Hop on Google right now and sort through a variety of adult online personal sites. Start finding that special someone who's right for you. Your soul mate might be just a mouse click away.

Bar advice. Be careful as well when in cyberspace. Don't just give all your personal info to strangers. These things can work out. Some people have married their long distance internet pals. It may just be you next. No harm just browsing, right?

Friday, April 6, 2007


LOVE......... - Watch a funny movie here

Bar advice. Love is special. The saying "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before" rings out loud for a lot of us. Sometimes we find that unconditional love in animals. They teach us more than we think we know.

If love is a Game, These are the Rules & More than a match

In the book to her widely acclaimed title, "If Life is a Game, These are the Rules", Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott has identified some basic knowledge that can help a person find, create and maintain authentic, long-lasting relationships. Some of these truisms may seem familiar, but as is the case with her other titles, a reader is bound to find a gem of wisdom, or two that may change their perspective and impact their lives.

"More Than a Match" explores the “compatibility factor,” demystifying the science behind matchmaking and giving you the tools you need to find the love you want. You’ll learn how to apply the specifics of good compatibility to a prospective date or mate, as well as how to break things off when you find yourself in the wrong relationship.

Bar advice. Fantastic marriages begin long before the exchange of the rings; they start when two people in search of love commit themselves to learning to how to love well…and forever so If life is a game, Here are the Rules but finding and keeping the love of your life is about much More Than a Match. Get it yet?

Please, ' No games'

Well, if you've ever read an online dating profile anywhere, you've invariably seen some version of today's Phrase Of The Day in there somewhere. This can come in the form of, "No Games!" or "I am sick of playing games!" or "I do not play games, and won't put up with those playing games", among others.

Having read this phrase a few hundred times, I got a bright idea. I started asking people what they meant by that.Based on certain patterns, there are four conclusions.

1) People have no concrete idea what they mean by "No Games",...

2) If they do know what they mean, it's not a standard definition that the rest of us can relate to immediately.

3) It's altogether possible that people put "No Games" in their profiles just because everyone else did and it sounds like the thing to write.

4) They have been through some bad, weird, awful, distasteful, hurtful or plain lousy relationships.

My bet is that #4 and #3 is more often the reason than not. Lack of creativity has never been in short supply on dating web sites! That said, when so many people bring the "games" thing up-even putting it at their very headline in multiple instances-there's got to be something going on here.So what's up with it? What does it mean?

After considerable thought and conversation, here are just some of the possibilities as far as what people are talking about here. I don't see this as an exhaustive list, and I welcome additions from readers. For your convenience, I've broken it down by gender.


1) What's a "game" without a "player"? Now, what a "player" is, exactly, is a whole other topic, thereby adding complexity to this entire thing. Whoever he is, some women are "sick" of him. For the record, other women are inexplicably drawn to "player" types. So thank you, ladies, for clarifying up front what your preference is assuming that's what you meant.

2) The dating "rules" of engagement.This involves doing things or acting in a certain way based on unwritten ‘protocol'. For example, when a guy gets your phone number/takes you out on a date/etc. He should wait three days to call you afterward, right? Dumb!

3) Lying about intentions. He "loves you" and wants a relationship, or vice-versa. Wake up!

4) Over promising/under delivering. He says he has a "wonderful evening" planned for you. You are all excited, and you end up doing absolutely nothing. Again. Another version of this is right after dinner out somewhere, while it's still early, he says he's really just ready to go home and "chill". This is categorized as a guy "game" because in my opinion the guy should have dates planned for the couple to enjoy, largely based(hopefully)on her favorite things to do/places to go.


1) Playing "hard to get". She leaves him hanging. A lot.

2) Marking territory.This is all about getting involved in a guy's life in such a way that before he knows it, you are most certainly not going away anytime soon. (e.g. making friends with his friends, introducing his and her kids to one another, etc.)

3) Meal ticket.She keeps him around because he'll buy her dinner, and stuff and that's really all. My personal opinion on this, BTW, is that if it's going on, it's the guy's stupid fault. He has failed to create attraction on her part and besides, who can blame her?

4) Sexual control. Anything under the general heading of "manipulation by sex" is a "game". Duhh!!


1) Flakiness -- Generally described as saying something will get done and not delivering. Some people are legitimate all-around flakes/deadbeats, and that's no game. The game here generally involved flaking out on someone after committing to a date, etc, because a "better option" came along. That's ‘Game City', baby.

2) Mind games -- Either hinting or outright saying something is so, and then pretending it was never said later. Acting in approval of some activity at one time, disapproving of the same thing another time. Carrots and Sticks. Carts and Horses. You get the idea, and this can take any form whatsoever. Everything from where the relationship stands to what size boxers the dude wears is fair "game" for this type of thing. This gig is all about controlling someone by weakness. Usually in a passive aggressive manner (Which is, ahem, another topic for another day).

3) Presumptuous assumptions -- Whenever someone imposes on another person and says, "Oh, I just assumed…" you have this going on. Example here would be A invites B to drinks. A automatically expected B to pay the bill, and doesn't have money. Someone has been "played" here. Anything involving presumed use of the other's time, resources or talents is this sort of game. Ladies, if you automatically assume your guy is going to help you move (unless maybe if it's in with him?) you are looking at a problem waiting to happen.

4) Guilt trips -- A major tactic of manipulation, often characterized by projecting blame upon someone else rather than accepting any responsibility for one's actions. (In fact, run away from anyone who runs this brand of smack on a regular basis.)


Just for the record, there are a few things that may seem like games, but be careful before you consider them such.

1) Not knowing what one wants -- If someone wants a relationship and the other isn't quite there yet, for whatever reason, the one driving the relationship often thinks the other is "playing games". Assuming everyone has been honest about intentions here, this frustration is merely to be called "not getting what one wants immediately". It's not a "game". It's part of the relationship.

2) Details surrounding non-exclusivity -- If you are not in an exclusive relationship with someone, it is not a "game" when the other person is dating other people. Further, it's not a "game" when you are not being given details. In fact, if one person is asking the other for said details (for which there is no answer that will make said person happy, of course) that might in fact fall under the "game" category. Assuming exclusivity, by the way, is not a good strategy. People in exclusive relationships should have a common understanding that it's the case.

3) Outright stupidity -- Laugh hard if you must, but you know it happens. A or B did or said something in a bonehead moment, and the other thinks it was a deliberate tactic to derail things in general. Yeah, well, it may actually derail things. But it wasn't deliberate so it wasn't a "game". People that have been in problems before will take it as such.

So the summary here could theoretically be that if someone isn't being up front about something, the "game" is on.

Bar advice. Look at yourself in the mirror first of all. Ask yourself if you're the one playing the "games". If you get accused of it and you weren't "playing" it, how would you feel? At the end of the day were going to find these still written on the profile pages and such. What are you going to do/ tell the person you're a "game player"?

Asian Girl Tickled

Asian Girl Tickled - Funny bloopers are a click away

Bar advice. There are other bed games you and your partner can do as well. Tickling is just one of them. Using other body part is another. I know,just looking at the video is giving you ideas, isn't it?

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Crying 哭泣

There is a lot to be said about crying out loud with all your might. How often do you hear someone yelling a swear word when they are hurt? They don't hold back; they just let it out along with the anger and frustration that accompanies the pain.

Well, do you know it's alright to yell at God, too? In fact, He is waiting for you to tell him your troubles. You may have grown up with a traditional mindset that all prayer must be done on your knees, with your hands folded, your head bent, and your voice down to a mere whisper.

I love the story of blind Bartimaeus. When Jesus was coming into the city of Jericho, there was a large crowd following Him and it was hard to get within earshot of Him. Bartimaeus figured out that the only way he had a chance to receive his healing was to yell. The more people told him to shut up, the louder he yelled. He did not care what others were thinking. His health and welfare were at stake here! He knew this may be his only chance to get this close to the Man "who healed all that were oppressed of the devil". (1 Acts 10:38)

Well, his strategy worked! Jesus heard him, commanded him to come near to Him and asked what he could do for him. As he got up, he threw off the shawl which by law all blind people had to wear. When Bartimaeus told Jesus that he would like to receive his sight, he was simply told: "Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole." From that moment on he was blind no more! (Mark 10: 46-52)

Now all the people, including Jesus, knew by his garment that this man was blind. Bartimaeus may have just continued to sit there, hoping that Jesus would pass by, say a prayer, and heal him. He could have asked others to have mercy on him, taken him by the hand, and brought him to the Healer. Yet again, he might have thought to himself: "well, I was born this way; there must be a purpose for it. If the doctors cannot heal me, then maybe Jesus can't, either." He might also have told himself that all he needed to do was pray quietly.

There are times when in quiet, confident trust, you thank God in faith for your needs.Just as it is to your advantage to yell out in order to be heard above the crowd, so it is good to cry out loud to God. Whenever you express a heartfelt cry to God, whether singing praises, or crying out in faith for your needs, you are making a declaration. You are giving notice to the devil that you refuse to listen to his defeatist whispers and that your hope is focused only on the Lord. Psalm 149: 5-9 declares that, if you know Him and praise Him out loud in faith, you can overcome those who persecute you and even change oppressive governments!

These things are from my faith but never the less, those of other faiths can recognize that it is true to all religions. Whatever your religion may be, it is in us all to cry out to the heavens for help and guidance. We seek for answers and hope it can be answered.

Bar advice. Good Friday is almost upon us. Lets us remember the sacrifice by others long ago for the place we live and things we have. Do something good n the world for others. It will come back to you in a greater fold. Bring blessings to others and you to will be blessed.

Monday, April 2, 2007

考 Driving test don'ts.

I remember this girl Brenda, who use to come to the bar, telling me that she was always doing her driving lessons. I don't know whether she took the test already or not but I hope she passed. Especially after all those days rushing to meet up with the instructor and all that.

Anyway here's a little tease to make you laugh about what you should not do or say if you want to pass your driving test.

1) Challenge the instructor to a drag race at Dead Man's Curve after the test finishes.

2) Insist on playing your own mix tape really loudly while driving.

3) Rev the engine and beep the horn furiously if any kids wave at you through the back window.

4) Slow down and whistle and holler at any attractive people. Question the instructor’s sexuality should he/she disapprove.

5) Tell the instructor you only drive sports cars and can’t be seen driving the stupid test car.

6) Ask the instructor has he/she ever come across a talking car such as KITT in knightrider

7) When asked to turn left, turn right instead, when asked for an explanation. say, "Oh you mean my left".

8) When asked if you are sitting comfortably and can reach the pedals, bend down, touch them with your hands and say, "Yep, no problem".

9) Ask the instructor to duck down when passing by a group of your friends as you feel he/she may be bad for your image.

10) Ask the instructor if its possible to travel back in time in a fast car or would you have to make some adjustments after you buy one. Also ask if you need to apply for a different license for time travel.

Bar advice. If you end up doing these things you'll be taking public transport for the rest of your life.

News about Booze

A new medical study has provided more good news about booze. There is an ingredient in red wine that apparently really does prolong life, at least, the life of mice.

How do we know? In a recent study, mice that were fed all kinds of artery clogging foods and fattened up were given huge doses of the elixir, while other mice were just fattened up. Despite being obese, the cardiovascular systems of the lucky mice on the regimen remained healthy. So healthy that the researchers, at no less than the Harvard Medical School, rushed to publish their findings even before the study was complete.

The work, which was done along with the National Institute on Aging, determined that heavy doses of the ingredient in red wine called resveratrol, lowers the rate of diabetes, liver problems and other fat related health problems. While it’s too soon to know if the same ingredient works in humans, some scientists were excited by the findings and even called them "spectacular."

But don’t reach for a second bottle of juice too fast. To get the amount of the ingredient that the mice were given, you would have to drink 100 bottles of red wine a day, an amount beyond the capacity of even the most delirious wine drinker.

Yet there is hope. The promising ingredient is available as a health supplement, and without a prescription.

Of course, the usual drawback applies. It’s not available at a dose that would really make much of a difference. For that salubrious event, you’ll need a prescription. Since we all know how promptly the govermental health agencies approves new therapies, we can expect that the first prescription will probably be written for one of our great grandchildren.

Bar advice. This is meant as a bit of a joke as well so please don't go drinking tons of red wine daily. It is, however, good to have a glass or two a day.

April's Fool

Ever wonder how the tradition of April Fool's Day got started? Historians don't know, but some believe that it is associated with the Spring Equinox. If so, the first day of April shares much in common with The Fool in the Tarot deck. Both symbolize fresh new beginnings. The Fool is assigned the number zero, and his place can be either at the beginning or the end of the 22 major arcana - after all, in every ending is a new beginning. Like a child, The Fool embarks on a new journey, not caring where he will end up, but taking delight in all the wonderful sights awaiting him. When The Fool turns up in a reading, he symbolizes a new start in some area of your life.

Bar Advice. Don't play too many tricks on people. The new spring is beginning and the last shakey quarter of the year just ended. Make the most of the rest of the year.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Sexually transmitted Infections

With all the attention heaped upon the most deadly sexually transmitted infection of all (HIV), other non-fatal forms of infection have been somewhat neglected, and even overlooked in sexual education. However, incidences of STIs such as chlamydia and gonorrhea have been dramatically and silently rising in many parts of the world in recent years, though receiving far less attention. It is now recognized that this is a major public health issue, affecting thousands of people, irrespective of background, education or social class.

Bar Advice. Keep your guard up against other infectious diseases as it can lead to some real painful experiences. People, especially women, sometimes don't know that they may have something because discharge from the vigina looks like something ordinary. Last thing. Take all the precautions seriously. Idoit!

Venereal Disease 在性病病

Venereal diseases, or sexually transmitted diseases (STD) as they are better known today, are a series of diseases which are transmitted through sexual contact between persons, most commonly through vaginal, oral or anal sex. Another term used by experts is “sexually transmitted infections”, but this term is less common.

Venereal diseases are an old companion and concern of mankind. As the British Empire spread throughout the world, British travelers, sailors and soldiers started bringing all sorts of diseases back to England. This is why the first VD clinic opened on January 31, 1747, at the London Dock Hospital. The biggest threats in those times were the syphilis and gonorrhea and the main purpose of the clinic was to study these diseases. They were also considered incurable at the time and doctors focused mostly on treating the symptoms.

The situation changed after the discovery of antibiotics, which made a lot of the old venereal diseases curable. Public health authorities have also launched campaigns of eradication against these diseases, which led to a decline in the number of cases. However, the 80's meant the advent of AIDS and genital herpes, which cannot be cured by modern medicine.

The most common VD's are Syphilis, Chancroid, Chlamydia Infection, Gonorrhea, Herpes, AIDS, Candidiasis and LGV. Sexual contact is also a means of spreading parasites such as pubic lice and scabies.

The easiest way of protecting yourself from VD's is to use condoms during sex. Although this will not help you against pubic lice, it would at least prevent the spread of infections and spare you the 'pleasure' of visiting the STD ward. More so since, despite all efforts, AIDS still means death.

Bar advice. You never know who a carrier is. Keeping your clothes on may just save your life. Some girls are like a hot knife going through margerine, they spread so easily. Some guys have the tools but let's everyone use it. In this day and age it pays to keep a civil thought for your well being.