While you’re soaring with the eagles at work, things are about as low as they can get on the home front. This is a quandary many people before you have had, but within the situation is an opportunity to evaluate life.
Often it takes a relationship breakdown of divorce proportions to force us to stop and take stock of the meaning and direction of our life.
We also know that “love” is one of the pillars of our life. We also know it’s not logical to be working as hard and as long as we do, creating all the money and success imaginable only to end up alone and unable to share all the fruits with the one you love the most.
What the successful career, rocky relationship situation provides you with though is an opportunity to evaluate. Let me explain.
Life is about purpose. You, within your life purpose, above everything else, are striving for happiness and in order to help you evaluate your situation I have a few questions for you that takes you right to the heart of the matter.
Are you happy “with you” in your relationship?
Are you happy with your partner in the relationship?
Do you still want the relationship?
Are you still in love today with that person?
Can the relationship be salvaged? If so, how?
Are you using work to hide from something at home? Children; in-laws; step-children, the pain of a family death; something your partner said to you months ago that hurt and you never let go of it?
Are there pressures at home that could be worked out with a different strategy i.e. outside help, like coaching or counseling?
Do you love your work more than your partner?
Do you change into a different person that you don’t like when you cross the threshold, or when you turn into the street?
Many situations can be worked out if you want to work them out. In the short term talking or working together can work, but you must be careful that you don’t just stick a plaster over what appeared to be a small wound only for it to reopen again later.
One of the ways to avoid this is to strip down your life in order to rediscover your self. Doing this will make you happy, not just for an hour or a day, but for life. The truth will set you free.
People who have been in successful careers, rocky relationships are using this situation to reevaluate their meaning and direction in life. They’re doing it and finding they’re now mastering more than just the career pillar, but the relationship one too.They are growing into stronger, fitter, happier people. Do you want to join them?
Bar advice. Work on the relationship. If you've been in it a long time, stop and think for a moment. Lots of relationships go up and down. Seek help if you have to but don't let the ship sink if there's something you can do to keep it afloat.
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Friday, April 13, 2007
Monday, April 9, 2007
Here without you
Bar advice. Sometimes we all feel bad when we break up, divorce, loose someone or move away. That's part of life but they will always be in our hearts and minds. It's OK to cry.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
When it ends
I recently met a new customer who just moved here. He came over to Singapore well before he wife was suppose to arrive here. This guy is a 51 year old American but looks like he's 38 or something. Being here for the first time in his life and without the wife. Well what do you think happened?
When I herd the story I thought to myself here is a situation that I've heard and seen before. He had a sexy Indonesian girl with him. They had been together for several months and he was falling head over heels for her. I've seen this sort of thing before and it was nothing new to me.
He told me that his wife had arrived and that he had been with the Indonesian girl for a while that he decided to divorce his wife of 30 years.They moved out of the apartment that the company was paying for and they were in a hotel that was nearby.When he told me this story I could see in his eyes and gestures that he felt relieved and almost glad that this was the outcome. There was a look of rebirth and vigour on his face while he was constantly holding and hugging the girl.His speech was that of a man that was imprisoned and was just released.
I wanted to tell him that this is not new to me. Hearing stories like that but I also wanted to advise him of women that take advantage of guys like that and make them feel so special especially in ways that his wife, of a western country, will never do. The problem is that she was right there in front of us and she spoke english as well so there was no way to get that piece of advice out to him.The next day they were back at the bar and he met with a friend that happen to be in Singapore as well.
Guess what? The friend had an Indonesian girl as well on his arm. The girls didin't know each other but became friends seeing that they were from the same country and the two guys are from the same hometown. The conversation was very light and it was a party mood. I guess he felt better that she had someone to talk to as well.The other girl was really pretty and had a sweet smile. I was surprised that she was 30 years old because she looked like she was 22 or something. Then again the difference betwen Asian and Western women are very wide.It can help if you know how to find things like nano technology.
What's going on exactly at this point of time is baffling to me. He seems ready to move on. I haven't met his wife but he did say that she was going to be going back soon and he will be returning to the apartment. He did say that he blames her for leaving him here to be alone for 5 months without her and it looks like the devil came out and got him to do the ultimate betrayel. Then again I believe that it may have been heading in that direction already. The divorce was probably going to happen for him . This just made it easier for him to go ahead with it.
Bar advice. Just because you're in another country and alone, don't make the mistake of the girl that will want you and because you're feeling or starving from love that you get blinded by it. She will come out with a really sad story and you'll fall for it. Tell you what. They all have one. I've heard them all. Trust me. They want the one thing to solve it and that's your wallet.
When I herd the story I thought to myself here is a situation that I've heard and seen before. He had a sexy Indonesian girl with him. They had been together for several months and he was falling head over heels for her. I've seen this sort of thing before and it was nothing new to me.
He told me that his wife had arrived and that he had been with the Indonesian girl for a while that he decided to divorce his wife of 30 years.They moved out of the apartment that the company was paying for and they were in a hotel that was nearby.When he told me this story I could see in his eyes and gestures that he felt relieved and almost glad that this was the outcome. There was a look of rebirth and vigour on his face while he was constantly holding and hugging the girl.His speech was that of a man that was imprisoned and was just released.
I wanted to tell him that this is not new to me. Hearing stories like that but I also wanted to advise him of women that take advantage of guys like that and make them feel so special especially in ways that his wife, of a western country, will never do. The problem is that she was right there in front of us and she spoke english as well so there was no way to get that piece of advice out to him.The next day they were back at the bar and he met with a friend that happen to be in Singapore as well.
Guess what? The friend had an Indonesian girl as well on his arm. The girls didin't know each other but became friends seeing that they were from the same country and the two guys are from the same hometown. The conversation was very light and it was a party mood. I guess he felt better that she had someone to talk to as well.The other girl was really pretty and had a sweet smile. I was surprised that she was 30 years old because she looked like she was 22 or something. Then again the difference betwen Asian and Western women are very wide.It can help if you know how to find things like nano technology.
What's going on exactly at this point of time is baffling to me. He seems ready to move on. I haven't met his wife but he did say that she was going to be going back soon and he will be returning to the apartment. He did say that he blames her for leaving him here to be alone for 5 months without her and it looks like the devil came out and got him to do the ultimate betrayel. Then again I believe that it may have been heading in that direction already. The divorce was probably going to happen for him . This just made it easier for him to go ahead with it.
Bar advice. Just because you're in another country and alone, don't make the mistake of the girl that will want you and because you're feeling or starving from love that you get blinded by it. She will come out with a really sad story and you'll fall for it. Tell you what. They all have one. I've heard them all. Trust me. They want the one thing to solve it and that's your wallet.
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