Seduction success

When people think about seduction, they think about wooing their women in the bedroom and having them fall for their every move. Sure, there are may things that come to mind when talking about seduction, but overall seduction lies in your preparation and confidence.

When looking at preparation, we look at all of the things you can control such as location, what you have planned for the evening, what you say to her and what you do with her. When we look at confidence, we look at your attitude towards being with her and your actions when you are with her in the bedroom.

The Plans
Like most men, you probably are not into planning what you are going to do or where you are going to do it. However, if you want to seduce your partner, planning the evening is mandatory. One thing you must not do is make her know what you did to get this day off and running. Even though it may have taken you a few hours to plan, having you complain about how much time you have spent on how long it took to set things up will ruin the day. By telling her you "planned" it will make her think you're just trying to get laid. Don’t worry because your romantic gestures will get you hours and hours of fun afterwards.

If you are thinking of heading straight for the bedroom, planning to seduce her from there, you are going to fail miserably. Your seduction should always start with something basic then move forward to something sensual and unique.

Something Basic
If you wish to do something basic you can either go out for a candle lit dinner, a walk on the beach or talk to her over drinks. During your pre-seduction adventure you should be able to romance her with your words. Hopefully.

Something Sensual and Unique
After your pre-seduction adventure you will want to have something sensual planned for desert. Your sensual adventure should start and end at your place but it can also involve going to a beach chalet, another home you have or a hotel room. This sensual romance is the beginning of foreplay, which is the start of the fun. Have some desert ready at your destination and include two to three events to perform where you can concentrate on her with your actions. Things you can have planned include sharing deserts, spending time on a rug with cushions, a sensual massage, some time in the hot tub (with swim wear as not to seem too eager) or anything that includes the five senses.

Where ever you end up, you will have to take the time to look at the atmosphere. Here are some helpful tips to increase your seduction success.

Atmosphere
The decor of your location is the first thing that you have to look at. Some things that will add romance, while others will kill it. First, it is also important to look at cleanliness. Remember it is not your friends that are coming over, it is your partner. If your home smells like left over pizza and beer, you can kiss your night of seduction goodbye. Speaking of the smell of your house, purchasing some incense or aromatic burning oils will be one of the best investments for your home. Not only will it make your home smell better, but the scent of incense or oils can have some powerful effects on your partner.

Lighting is the best way to set the mood when you get her home. If you already have lamps in your home, let's hope that you can dim them. If you can't dim your lights don't worry, purchase some candles and have fun under candlelight.

Finally, you should look at some soft music to play in the background. Sensual music includes jazz, R & B, or classical. Have the music soft enough so you can hardly notice it is on, but loud enough so that it is not overbearing and doesn't interrupt your night. Remember conversation is key to the seduction process.

Your Words
The words that you use, and how you use them, can make or break your date. Always remember compliments go a long way when it comes to sex. Since many females are self-conscious about their body and their looks, complimenting them on things that they are insecure about will make them feel more confident and comfortable around you. Don’t try too hard because your words won’t seem sincere. Stick to two or three compliments before sex, during sex, and after sex.

When it comes to her sense of self you can compliment:
Her attitude, looks, clothes, touch, hairstyle, perfume or how she makes you feel

Here are some body parts you can compliment:
Her eyes, hands, face, skin, lips, butt, back, breasts and legs, even toes.

Foreplay
Though many men don’t enjoy foreplay, it is very important for the female. Men are always jumping the gun. Women enjoy foreplay because it has you concentrating on her entire body instead of just the genitals. When it comes to foreplay, make sure you touch, lick, and kiss her entire body. As you do this, watch how she reacts to where you touch her and the different ways that you touch her. Foreplay should involve all five senses so look at enhancing them. The best advice when it comes to foreplay, is using a gentle touch and going as slow as possible and so you know, foreplay should last between fifteen minutes to two hours. Don't laugh if you want to have a smile on your face tonight.

Intercourse
This is the FUN, and also the part that most men are looking forward to. Most men see intercourse as penetration, but the best sex mixes both intercourse and foreplay. Furthermore, you should switch positions only when necessary. At most you will probably go through five or six different positions so try mixing it up by incorporating all of the basic positions (woman on top, man on top, spooning, standing, sitting, and rear entry) and spending about five minutes in each position. Though men love speeding sex up, you should be going as slow as possible when it comes to foreplay and seduction.

Although this is true, the tempo and speed of sex should always be changing. Try switching your tempo by speeding up and slowing down to tease her and make her want more. Another benefit of slowing down is that it allows you to last longer and increase your stamina in the bedroom. The trick is whenever you feel like you are about to orgasm, slow down briefly or stop penetrating completely while you use your hand and mouth on her. It sometimes takes a longer period for her and if you cum first she may pull you back into her to satisfy her till climax. Will you be able to?

After play
Afterplay is what a couple does after sex, and no, falling asleep is not afterplay. This includes things such as kissing, cuddling, holding each other, and talking. During this time, all people, especially women, are very vulnerable because of the intimacy involved in sex. The best thing you can do is make sure you spend five to ten minutes with each other, before you fall asleep. Once again I stress, conversation is key.

Your Mindset
Your attitude and the way you think when it comes to seduction will do wonders for how your partner views you. If you are confident with all of your actions and what you do, it will show when you are with her. Remember that confidence comes from planning and technique.

Bar advice. By incorporating all this, seduction success with your partner will be receptive with regards to sex and of course this will lead to even more adventurous nights together.

Social spheres

Guys, memorizing a few common openers when meeting girls and being prepared builds some confidence to "just do it" for those who constantly hesitate and, in doing so, their results will improve because they are at least doing something whereas before they did nothing. Hence, the perception of better results based on material when, in fact, at least for the beginner, the bigger impact comes from taking action versus not taking action.

Once you get over this hump and approaching girls are no longer issues, you will begin to feel the need to have a natural context for normal conversations to take place. When approaching women you need to focus on getting under the radar to get "in' faster and easier than what might otherwise be perceived as a "pickup". You may wonder why this is important. It is a subtlety that you won't hear about often because it requires the person to explain social context, especially the context of a typical woman's world and thought process. Most women who aren't normally promiscuous, especially when they're younger, see the world of meeting men as; through friends, being introduced or waiting until they are approached.

Still, even when a man approaches her, in the back of her mind she will later have to describe to her girlfriends and immediate social network how she met him. She does not want to be perceived as promiscuous(even if she is) and she, like many women, will need to feel validated. Unlike most men, most women know they can get just about any man to sleep with them if they just simply offer. It's the truth! This, however, is not the goal for them. The primary goal is to find a man who they are interested in, but there is a lot of pressure to also meet him through established "social spheres". Let's review some places of intimacy or familiarity that would meet, within a woman's social context or the notion of a "social sphere" that meets approval would be.
* Met at a respectable vacation resort
* Met at a location of mutual interest(museum, concert, etc)
* Met at a social club event(painting class, pottery, etc)
* Met at a private party(wedding, celebration, holiday, etc)
* Have a mutual friend(better still a parents friend)
* Involved in mutual activity (volunteering, hobby)
* Go to same school(university, management, etc)
* Work at same company(co-worker or client)

In contrast, those situations women will feel their friends,family, or co-workers might look upon negatively.
* Happen to be in same place, no context
* Met on the Internet
* Met in a bar or club
* Met on the street
* Met at random but common location (store, elevator,etc)

For women, at least if anything more than a secret fling is to occur, the means in which they meet must match their notion(and their friends' notions) of "social sphere". That is not to say the places that will have negative approval cannot be construed to be within a "social sphere" context. Only that upon initial reflection how such situations will be seen. I'll explain in a moment.

Guys, put yourself in places and situations where the women you meet will not hesitate based on a context that people they know will not look upon negatively. It's easier to meet women from within the context of social spheres or mutual interests than walking up to them as a literal stranger. The point here is to explain 'why' this is the case and with the knowledge of 'why' we can now get to the good stuff. How to still succeed in places and situations that would normally be stacked against you!

It is possible to get past context issues by playing with subtlety. Imagine approaching women within their social spheres as a "hot" approach and approaching her outside those circles as a"cold" approach. Then the way you look at this is to find an avenue for a middle ground to turn "cold" approaches into "warm" ones. You can also see warm approaches as possibly more positive for her because they allow her to pursue a relationship that, if doesn't go well, won't put the structure of her established social sphere into chaos. For example, if you meet a woman in a bookstore, you must find common ground of familiarity(same book section) and context to allow for what could be perceived as "social sphere". You can even bend the laws of logic to do so! So long as you can achieve attraction in the interaction. Context issues will not be a problem if you can have her perceive the meeting to be at least peripherally within her perception of her social sphere.

A girl in the foreign language section of the bookstore might be interested to learn a new language. For the context of that approach, so are you. That is your subtle context but that's not enough. There must be familiarity with something in the environment. In terms of conversation and interaction, this would be known as "rapport", but in terms of initiating to meet someone, it would be a shared element of the environment or a shared observation. In addition, opening this way allows you to quickly find a context of familiarity and rapport but, and this is a big but, you must not chase the rapport, but rather allow it to come about on its own through your lead.

With this style of warm approach, you utilize an observation of the environment around her to create your opener and deepen the connection to her social sphere by connecting the overall environment to a mutual interest or lifestyle or common connection. You may not come up with the greatest of openers your first few times but getting the swing of this style of approach actually gets you in deeper from the start. You must work on your powers of observation. To get you started, here is a list of things in her environment you can take notice of.
*Where you both are
*Something she is looking at
*Something she is wearing or using
*Something interesting in front of her
*Music which may be playing in the background
*Someone on TV(if there's one nearby)
*Some occasion in the country(national holiday, etc)

Once opened, pinpoint a common ground for you and her and during conversation reinforce(interpret) how this common ground connects the both of you and continue with the attraction skills that you know best. Remember that you are just getting to know someone that will be weary of you, your approach, your intentions and may have been hurt in the past. Take it slow guys. You need to breath as well.

Bar advice. The women also are assessing you so don't expect all doors to be opened. It doesn't work that way.

Flirting tips and relationship advice for women

Flirting is your way of letting the opposite sex know that you're "on the prowl". How available you are determines how you flirt and how serious you are about making and taking things to the next level. Here we'll discuss tips on how women can flirt with positive results. This is not a discussion about women being equals or being submissive to a male, but rather a primer on tactics that will attract interest to men. Everything that comes after you have gotten his interest is up to you and your style. The relationship advice portion is added to expand on what can happen.

Now, everybody enjoys looking at something they find appealing and you don't want him to think you don't have an interest in him do you? Best beginning is to glace over to him often until you have gotten a contact of about two seconds. This will establish the setting. If you're insecure about this you'll perhaps find it difficult to hold his gaze for a moment longer than you should but you really must look at him to begin the flirting process. Looking away will will throw him off and that's hardly what you want, is it? If you're really confidant, don't go making the reverse mistake by staring at him. Men may love it but in reality, being stared at makes a person feel awkward and embarrassed. The best is a balance of looking into his eyes and then looking down to break the tension. Most women do this almost naturally but that too may not work. Why? Well, a guy won't know to if he should approach or if you're just looking for a hair pin that dropped. He may just leave you alone and you'll get nowhere.

Another key element would be to smile. Naturally most women do if they're talking to someone but even if you're just looking from a far keep it on because you never know who else may be interested. If a guy sees a smiling face he may be more at ease to approach even if he was not the intended person directed. When he talks, smile in appropriate places and be conscious of your smile as you talk. Don't sit there with a false grin or he'll think you've forgotten to take your medication. A smile shows interest and best of all, it's contagious. If you combine this with appropriate eye contact it will begin to solidify your hold over him and you can progress to the next step.

Keeping interest. Nobody likes it when someone ignores them or doesn't pay attention to them. Guys find it hard enough trying to talk to women. If you don't show interest in what he does or says, he's going to think you're not interested and if he starts shifting interest to your girlfriends or someone else, don't blame him. People leading busy lives fail to remember to take a little to vest in the interest of the person they're with. This is also true for men with women.

Conversation should be light and easy. It should also be flowing with fun and talking about interesting subjects won't bore anyone. If you've been out several times already maybe you can start to share some deeper conversations about relationship concerns but if you don't think it's the right time, leave it out. No necessity for heavy commitments at the beginning. If you start to pressure a guy into a deeper relationship after the first or few meetings, he's going to run for the hills. He's either going to think you've just ended a relationship and you're on the rebound, isn't ready and is just jumping at whatever falls in your lap at the moment or you're completely psychotic. Very rarely, but, who in their right mind starts a relationship that quick and with someone you barely know? Are you that desperate?

Behaviour is something that a lot of guys are always checking. What do I mean by this? A lot of guys like it when their girls are at their sides. They may talk to others but they appreciate it, especially when talking among other guys, that the girl will touch them, hold their hand or place it on their shoulder leaning a little. Maybe even a kiss before heading to the ladies room. This is because men want to feel like the women they're with really wants them. She's not interested in anyone else there and she's not looking anymore. Another thing is women that get drunk or really high tend to change into some witch from the depths of the piss pot. She's not only taking loudly but she's demeaning him, scolding, shouting, crying, showing tantrums like a kid and worse of all her clothes are either coming off or parts of her are being exposed to everyone. No guy wants anything to do with YOU if you're like that.

Being a secret friend can be a decider in a blossoming relationship. What's that you ask? They guy likes it when you tell him a secret about yourself. Let it be something that others don't know but also isn't damaging to you if you two break up later on. Also keeping him in confidence about work and family difficulties makes a guy feel that you value him enough to seek his advice or opinions. Try also to get him to open up to you in this manner and as time goes by you two will be sharing stuff like you were already husband and wife for years. So you see, my relationship advice and flirting tips for women could be beneficial to you.

Bar advice. There's obviously more than meets the eye on all these flirting tips and relationship advice but these are some good factors to consider when the next guy comes along.

The true secret about getting ?

I stressed this point several times before. Due to the fact that men are primarily attracted to a woman's physical beauty, they make the mistake of assuming that she is also attracted by physical beauty. Hopefully I can clear this up for you.

Women bear children, men don't. So while men are drawn to the youthful, healthy, physical signs of a woman, women instinctively gravitate towards fearless men who takes charge of a situation. In essence, confidence! This is the true secret about getting women. This makes perfect sense when you think about it from a biological point of view. Women want men who can protect her family and herself from the big bad things of this world. So, this explains why you see so many women with guys like bad boys and the rebel sort. They aren't always the most "suitable", but they're oozing with confidence, which makes them irresistible from Mother Nature's point of view.

Women are realist. They just want to get to the bottom of things and that includes who you are. They want the real you. You see women looking at celebs and drooling about them but what happens when they find out something bad about them? They turn away with disgust. They feel let down by the actions of their idol. The thought of the person they adored doing a "bad" thing cannot seem to register in them. Women that do this must realize that they don't know the person at all. The actions of that celeb falls badly on all other guys simply because they are men. When a woman really meet a man it is then an added bonus that he looks half good. Not quite their idol but presentable. She sees beyond the physical and less imperfect features. She seeks the confident and stable soul.

If you go to online dating sites, you'll find a lot of women adding on their preference section for guys not to 'play games'. Also, and more importantly, they state that the guy's looks are not important to them. The tendency here is that these are a little more matured women. Those in their late twenty's till forties. Why is this so? The ones that are still looking for their handsome "prince charming" tend to be the younger ones. Maturity level in looking for "true love" is blocked by the hot handsome celeb look a like. It's understandable that the youthful will stick to what they know and feel. Peer pressure also looms in every part of their lives. Women in the other group have found that love, commitment and strong lasting relationships is what they're after.

Another point for women is, the older they get the less likely they show that they want sex. A brave front to deny themselves the physical pleasure they like but they seek things of greater value i.e. someone that cares for them the way they want. They always want a secure foundation with a man. Once everything is laid and all barriers have come down, all fears aside, the sex will follow. Women are more likely to fill a mans every desire because she has placed trust in him from that point onwards. Beside her wanting to fill her sexual needs she will make sure that the man get his "all" so she needs not have to go looking anymore. Who wants to after all that time.

Women need to know that men are unwise to these particular needs of women. They tend to see women like themselves. Men think women think the same way as them so they falter. Their train of thought is derailed at the sight of the next lovely girl that comes along. Getting a man is one thing but getting him to stay with you is another. By understanding that men need some coaching to a women's way will get you ahead in the game. Men want and need to be told sometimes, just like their mommy's did, to know what they need to do. Pleasing a woman that's difficult can be tough and that makes some men run off to find another one less demanding and less self centered. Seeking for an ideal man is nice but reality is he'll never be as perfect as you dreamed up and neither will you be to him. Acceptance and working the relationship will see both through and together.

Bar advice. Men can also be just as complex as women. If both can just see the others wants and needs it can just about click. Take a chance sometimes.

Confidence makes you Sexy

He walks down the street with a purpose to his step, and people notice him. He is aware of this. He especially likes the looks he gets from the ladies.

She is sitting on a bench awaiting the bus to arrive when she sees him approach from the opposite end of the street. There is just something about the way he carries himself. If she were asked to describe him using only one word, that one word would be. SEXY!!

Confidence is sexy in both men and women. However, the amount of confidence that should be displayed and still considered to be sexy differs between the sexes. Some women have had the misfortune of being labeled cold or uptight for appearing too confident. Whereas the same amount of confidence, when shown by a man does not draw such harsh criticisms.

Confidence sends a message of strength, bravery, competence, and skill to others. These positive qualities tend to attract others to the confident person. People are more likely to look for the guidance of a confident person in times of trouble and crisis. This is because confident people are strongly believed to be more level headed, able to think beyond emotions when problems or emergencies arise. Confident people tend to rise further in work careers and in other areas of life because their strong belief in themselves results in the trust of others, especially of those who can help them to further careers and social standings.

The appeal of these qualities, so often equated with confidence, (strength, bravery, competence, and skill) hearkens back to the time of the cave man. It was only those cave men who showed great confidence against such great adversity, who won the affections of cave women. Confident cave women appealed to cave men because it signaled that she was also quite capable of surviving the harshness of the world they were living in at the time. This encouraged mating between cave men and women, allowing the continuing survival of the human species despite the heavy perils to life that savage animals and environmental conditions presented for man at the time.

Today most of us live in comfortable homes, safely protected from the elements. None of us has ever had to face-down a lion in a battle for life and limb. Sexual relations are not just for the sole purpose of the continuance of the human species as it was back then. The steady growth of human populations throughout the world is testament to the fact that the human species is not in jeopardy of being lost. Still, we find confidence just as sexually appealing today as those early cave men and women did.

You can gain the confidence that will get you where you want to go in your career and life. Build your confidence. Walk with purpose in your step. Draw the attention you desire from the opposite sex with the best known aphrodisiac. Confidence!!

Did you know that exercise can help boost your confidence levels? Have you ever noticed how the really fit guy in the gym confidently lifting large weights, always seems to have a crowd of gals close to him? Have you wished for that kind of appeal with the ladies? Or how about the woman that men just can't seem to take their eyes off of, out on the dance floor with her tight, toned body, confidently grooving to the music? Would you like to have what she has? You can have the confident and fit body that commands the attention of others, through exercise.

Our society puts such an emphasis on physical beauty that it seems natural that the more fit and physically attractive a person the more confident they will be. Your sex appeal will increase with confidence and your confidence will increase the more attractive you are, and being in shape helps.

So the next time you're at the gym, hold your head high, even if you're not feeling so confident about yourself, this simple gesture holds a lot of power and you can certainly fake it. The more confident you feel about yourself the sexier those around you will find you.

Bar advice. Looks are not all thee is in life. Confidence gave Arthur Miller what he needed to be with Marilyn Monroe and he was just a timid writer. Can you do it?

How to meet women tonight

You go out with some buddies for a night on the town, hoping to meet a girl to have some fun with. You head to a bar, get a table, and order drinks. The place is alive, and you and your buddies are having a good time looking at all the pretty girls except nobody is meeting any them. You want to talk to them, but you feel more comfortable sitting around with your friends talking about how you would like to go home with a girl that night. Instead, you all end up leaving the same way you came in.Together.

This is a pretty common occurrence among the lovelorn bachelor. This is a symptom of what I like to call the "comfort zone". Basically, everyone has a comfort zone. This is a state of mind where people are surrounded by that which is familiar.Familiarity breeds complacency, which can keep you from taking the action necessary to achieve your goals, because that action introduces uncertainty into your life. This is something the comfort zone likes to keep at bay.

So when you want to meet a woman, you need to know how to break out of this comfort zone.How do you do this? The answer is self-evident. You must learn to meet women by yourself.

Friends can be a great asset, but most of the time, going out with friends actually hinders one's ability to meet women. Not just because of the comfort zone factor, but because other guys who don't know what they're doing with girls can actually ruin the interactions you have with them. Be it by jealousy or ineptitude.

So the best way to counter this is to leave your friends behind. This doesn't have to be permanant but only when you are on the prowl for girl.But the prospect of going out by oneself can strike fear into the hearts of men. After all, doesn't going out by yourself signal to everyone that you're a loser with no friends? Doesn't it make you look creepy? The answer to both these questions is:NO!!!!!

The simple act of going out on your own can shake your comfort zone, because you have no anchors to keep you there. Often your friends will act as an anchor to your comfort zone that keep you from approaching women. And it is easier to break out of this comfort zone without those anchors present. Plus, you don't have to worry about failing with women and being judged by your friends if they're not around.

But the most powerful thing about going out by yourself is that it puts your focus on what you are doing. This means that every interaction you have is without distraction, so it is more easily examined and the problems you had are more easily identified. This allows you to spot your sticking points more quickly and correct them.

Not only that, but being out by yourself gives you the freedom of flexibility when it comes to where you're going and who you talk to. If you're bored with a place, you can leave and go to another one. If you want to talk to a girl who your friends might poke fun at you for, you can. Not only this, but you're free to mess up the interactions you have, because chances are, no one there will ever see you again, so you don't have to worry about what others think of you.

But like all things, knowing what to say will help you to go out by yourself and succeed at increasing your ability to approach. There are many examples of Openers to say in the book 'The Art of Attraction'by Joseph Matthews but some guys will need to know how to handle the inevitable question "Where are your friends?"

Something I've used to great effect is the answer "Oh, they're around." This simple dismissive statement not only answers the question, but as far as anyone knows, you're telling the truth. If you want to take it a step further, I've even used this as an Opener at times I've been out by myself. The "My Friends Ditched Me" Opener.
This works good whenever you're out somewhere by yourself. Basically, you approach your target or a group, and say "Do you guys have any friends who got split up by someone they both liked?"

Using this, you set the stage that you're out by yourself because, well, unlike your friends, you're not lame! Not only that, you throw in a nice Drama Opener in there to engage the group. And if you're still too shy to go out by yourself, then try this little trick.When you go out with your friends, ditch them. Go off on your own and leave them behind for a while, then meet up with them later. This can be quite an effective method if your friends don't mind you leaving!

If you don't know what a Drama Opener is, check it out in the book 'The Art of Approaching'. It's got TONS of openers and other things to say so that you never have to worry about how you're going to meet women again. If you're one of those guys who gets tounge-tied around beautiful girls, or if your mind likes to "blank" out on you, then you definitely need to check out the book right now.


Bar advice.Once you learn the secrets unleash in the book, you'll know how to meet any woman, any time, anywhere you may be.Whether you're alone or not!