Social spheres

Guys, memorizing a few common openers when meeting girls and being prepared builds some confidence to "just do it" for those who constantly hesitate and, in doing so, their results will improve because they are at least doing something whereas before they did nothing. Hence, the perception of better results based on material when, in fact, at least for the beginner, the bigger impact comes from taking action versus not taking action.

Once you get over this hump and approaching girls are no longer issues, you will begin to feel the need to have a natural context for normal conversations to take place. When approaching women you need to focus on getting under the radar to get "in' faster and easier than what might otherwise be perceived as a "pickup". You may wonder why this is important. It is a subtlety that you won't hear about often because it requires the person to explain social context, especially the context of a typical woman's world and thought process. Most women who aren't normally promiscuous, especially when they're younger, see the world of meeting men as; through friends, being introduced or waiting until they are approached.

Still, even when a man approaches her, in the back of her mind she will later have to describe to her girlfriends and immediate social network how she met him. She does not want to be perceived as promiscuous(even if she is) and she, like many women, will need to feel validated. Unlike most men, most women know they can get just about any man to sleep with them if they just simply offer. It's the truth! This, however, is not the goal for them. The primary goal is to find a man who they are interested in, but there is a lot of pressure to also meet him through established "social spheres". Let's review some places of intimacy or familiarity that would meet, within a woman's social context or the notion of a "social sphere" that meets approval would be.
* Met at a respectable vacation resort
* Met at a location of mutual interest(museum, concert, etc)
* Met at a social club event(painting class, pottery, etc)
* Met at a private party(wedding, celebration, holiday, etc)
* Have a mutual friend(better still a parents friend)
* Involved in mutual activity (volunteering, hobby)
* Go to same school(university, management, etc)
* Work at same company(co-worker or client)

In contrast, those situations women will feel their friends,family, or co-workers might look upon negatively.
* Happen to be in same place, no context
* Met on the Internet
* Met in a bar or club
* Met on the street
* Met at random but common location (store, elevator,etc)

For women, at least if anything more than a secret fling is to occur, the means in which they meet must match their notion(and their friends' notions) of "social sphere". That is not to say the places that will have negative approval cannot be construed to be within a "social sphere" context. Only that upon initial reflection how such situations will be seen. I'll explain in a moment.

Guys, put yourself in places and situations where the women you meet will not hesitate based on a context that people they know will not look upon negatively. It's easier to meet women from within the context of social spheres or mutual interests than walking up to them as a literal stranger. The point here is to explain 'why' this is the case and with the knowledge of 'why' we can now get to the good stuff. How to still succeed in places and situations that would normally be stacked against you!

It is possible to get past context issues by playing with subtlety. Imagine approaching women within their social spheres as a "hot" approach and approaching her outside those circles as a"cold" approach. Then the way you look at this is to find an avenue for a middle ground to turn "cold" approaches into "warm" ones. You can also see warm approaches as possibly more positive for her because they allow her to pursue a relationship that, if doesn't go well, won't put the structure of her established social sphere into chaos. For example, if you meet a woman in a bookstore, you must find common ground of familiarity(same book section) and context to allow for what could be perceived as "social sphere". You can even bend the laws of logic to do so! So long as you can achieve attraction in the interaction. Context issues will not be a problem if you can have her perceive the meeting to be at least peripherally within her perception of her social sphere.

A girl in the foreign language section of the bookstore might be interested to learn a new language. For the context of that approach, so are you. That is your subtle context but that's not enough. There must be familiarity with something in the environment. In terms of conversation and interaction, this would be known as "rapport", but in terms of initiating to meet someone, it would be a shared element of the environment or a shared observation. In addition, opening this way allows you to quickly find a context of familiarity and rapport but, and this is a big but, you must not chase the rapport, but rather allow it to come about on its own through your lead.

With this style of warm approach, you utilize an observation of the environment around her to create your opener and deepen the connection to her social sphere by connecting the overall environment to a mutual interest or lifestyle or common connection. You may not come up with the greatest of openers your first few times but getting the swing of this style of approach actually gets you in deeper from the start. You must work on your powers of observation. To get you started, here is a list of things in her environment you can take notice of.
*Where you both are
*Something she is looking at
*Something she is wearing or using
*Something interesting in front of her
*Music which may be playing in the background
*Someone on TV(if there's one nearby)
*Some occasion in the country(national holiday, etc)

Once opened, pinpoint a common ground for you and her and during conversation reinforce(interpret) how this common ground connects the both of you and continue with the attraction skills that you know best. Remember that you are just getting to know someone that will be weary of you, your approach, your intentions and may have been hurt in the past. Take it slow guys. You need to breath as well.

Bar advice. The women also are assessing you so don't expect all doors to be opened. It doesn't work that way.

Discussing about sex

Discussing sex incorrectly or at the wrong time with your partner can lead to a number of undesirable consequences. You should not want your date to judge you, and you don't want your discussion to be marked with anger.

Many people are afraid of these problems. They are very shy when it comes to talking about sex with their partner. At the same time, if you are comfortable enough to have sex with someone, you should also be able to discuss it with them. However, one of the most difficult aspects of sex is bringing it up with someone you that you've never discussed the topic with before.

My advice to you is to avoid bringing up the subject of sex on the first date. It may very well be a recipe for disaster. Bringing up the discussion of sex on the first date will convey a message that you are not interested in their personality, but are instead simply focused on sex. This is perhaps one of the fastest ways to end a date. To avoid this problem, you must use self control. Get to know the person first before trying to immediately bring up the discussion of sex. You should take the time to become comfortable with the person you are dating. Once you have been on multiple dates with a person, and the two of you are more comfortable with each other, you can then bring up the discussion. Guys especially are in too much of a hurry. Why? Well he thinks that he may not get a second shot.

Even then, this should be done in a cordial manner. Avoid using vulgar words or expressions. You could ask the person if they are interested in spending more quality time with you alone. More often than not, this will convey the message that you are trying to get across, and they will either accept it or reject it. If your request is rejected, they will likely have a reason for it, and talking to them about it can allow you to learn more. In most cases, the person may want to get to know you better, or they may have a specific period of time they wish to wait before they engage in sexual relations with their partner. You should be searching for love as well, remember.

If you respect your date, you will understand this. It is wise to avoid trying to pressure someone into doing something they don't want to do. When they are ready, it will be much better for the both of you. Sex is a sensitive topic, and people will have their own beliefs based on their culture, religion, and upbringing. It is important for you to understand this.

We all want it. Yes, even the women, but we sometimes do stupid things when our animal instincts take over. Being horny is natural. Both men and women are, but, we have to be on the same page to enjoy each others comforts. Frankly, if you love someone and you're having sex with them as well, it's got to be the best feeling ever. true feelings of love in your heart adds to the act of making love. That's the kind of relationship that last a lifetime. The connection is strong and both partners know what the needs of the other one's are.

The first date sex may actually happen. Sometimes both people are just lonely or want to be loved for whatever reason and figure out the rest the next day. It's a chance taken and hopefully not regretted. It sometimes works out but it may just end. Some do it because they haven't been with anyone for a long period or the date resembles someone before. Some do it because they may be promiscuous. Try to get a sense of your dates intentions or non intentions. This is something that can't really be taught.

Bar advice. If you're going to go on dates. Be honest. True. Have fun. Flirt, but if the subject of sex does come up, don't ignore it. It may go either way. Good or bad. You'll be surprised that in this day and age, most people can talk about it fairly easy and they don't end up in bed unless they really want to.

Promiscuous isn't a dirty word.

Particulars of the Promiscuous is a sexual satire of panoramic proportions. Beginning with the Greeks and Romans, each chapter traces the sexual tastes and habits of hundreds of people from the notorious to the elite. It redefines the word “slut” from a promiscuous or slovenly woman to a person of either gender who is stimulated by the realities and fantasies of sexuality. From prostitutes like London’s Kitty Fisher, who was so furious to be given only half her fee (today’s equivalent of $500,000) that she baked it in a pie and ate it, to basketball great Wilt Chamberlain, who claimed to have had over 20,000 women, this book examines the humorous, eccentric, weird, and perverted sluts of history.

Bar advice. If anything you'll get a nice laugh out of this and you may find that you can understand some of your friends better next time. Maybe it will let you see inside yourself as well.

Men looking to hook up with chicks.

There are tons of reasons why women go to clubs and bars and it's not just to have fun.Do you think women just dress up in uncomfortable high heels and barely a piece of cloth covering their bosoms to have fun with their girlfriends? Here are a few types that you will find in these places and what you can do to make it easier on you get her attention.

The peacock.
She is the one who seeks your attention but has no intention of going home with you. she dresses sexily in revealing clothes and dances seductively. Once she catches you looking at her, just like a peacock, she spreads her feathers out for more attention. You'd wish she would spread her legs but no chance with this one. Undoubtedly coquettish, she has enough courage to dance alone while her less than confident friends watch. Most likely, in her small group of girlfriends, she is the one that is considered the 'wild one'.

Approachability: Your approach to the typical peacock is to first act cool. Once you both established the first eye contact, ignore her. Don't throw her another glance but you presence should be felt in a calm manner. Casually ask her girlfriend for the time or a lighter and linger around a bit. If she strikes a conversation first, you're in luck. If not, make your move after a few minutes. Don't take too long or she might move on to others.

The Va-Va Vroom
This is the one who has no problems approaching men. She will zoom in like Micheal Schumacher on ecstasy behind a race car. Just like a bloodhound, she will ask you to dance or chat up with you. Sexy, confident and carrying a lot of attitude, she is normally the one dancing on the bar tops or somewhere high above where everyone can see. Her friendly attitude applies to her ring of friends. You'll find her in a pack of equally attractive women. She's the type that will go home with you. Make you feel really great about yourself but will break your heart instantly. Trust me I know from personal experience. Then again I'm not one to complain about great sex.

Approachability:Chances are she will approach you first but for some reason if you are not on her radar, go up to her and ask her to dance. She likes confident men who shows her attention too. One key thing. Don't offer to but her drinks as other interested parties have been doing that all night. Unless she just got there then be the first.

The Gazing deer
We all grew up with Bambi and the story has taught us that deers are pretty animals. In the human version she is the one that is sincere, kind, confident, attractive and sexy in a subtle way. However, her beauty is skin deep which is evident when you mingle with her or try to have a chat. She can be bitchy if she finds you offensive and drop you in a second. She doesn't let you know she's interested but will eventually one day when she's really into you. She loves playing hard to get, basically, but she loves a gentleman. The kind who will ask her if she needs more drinks or hold her hand when she pukes it out.

Approachability: Start by complimenting her outfit or how good her hair looks. Be very subtle and make sure that she has no clue that you're tyring to pick her up.If she gets hold of that she may drop you like a stone. make friends first. She is the kind that you can bring home to mom but you'll have to work at it very hard. It may take more time and effort but the reward will be nice.

The Promiscuous.
Have you ever seen an agitated lioness prowling in the cage looking like she's premenstruating? The promiscuous type will play you like the dog she made you out to be. She is the opposite of men that 'fool around'. She might have a equally sexy boyfriend on her arm that night at the club and it attracts envy from the ladies as well as men, gay or otherwise. She is the kind that will dance with a man other than her boyfriend and not tell them she's attracted because she is deliberately stirring jealousy. Watching two guys fight it out gives her an ultimate high like a dominatrix vixen in leather admiring bevy of slaves vying for her attention under her wing.

Approachability: The only way you'll succeed is if her boyfriend leaves her alone for most of the night and she flirting with you and making eye contact(and a friend of your can vouch for that in case the boyfriend comes).Approach her only is no bigger than you or if you have a friend that can help you out if things get ugly. She has power over guys and if you go after her then be on your guard. Not recommended if you like the way your face looks right now.

Bar advice. There are so many girls out there that are all sorts of categories that are not mentioned here but approaching the them and getting what you want are not easy. Live and learn is what I say. Also, have fun while you're out there trying. Don't forget, the girls are out there looking for that special guy as well.