The safety man

You see it all the time at bars & clubs. A group of girls, sometimes just three or as many as five or six, with one sole guy in their group. You may think this guy is "with" one of the girls but many times he's not, unless his name is Hugh Hefner.

He is tagging along, but why? What are his reasons? Usually it's one of only two reasons. He's infatuated with one of the girls in the group, hoping to hook up with her or he's hoping to improve his odds with any of the girls in the group. The vast majority of the time, however, in fact the most probable outcome is, he will not achieve anything. He will not get any further along with any of the girls than he'd gotten before. If it were possible for him, he'd have known how to do it already and not need to waste time grasping at such flimsy opportunities rather than taking initiative at other times. So why do the group of girls take him along on their "girl's nightout" when none of them have any preconceived intentions to hook upwith him?

One of them(rarely) may very well actually like him in "that way" (all the girls in the group will already know about it) and think this will be an opportunity for him to bust a move (he won't or he will do it pathetically).Commonly, they need a "safety man". What is a "safety man"? A safety man is a guy girls will have in their group for the sole purpose of allowing them to focus on their "girl's night out without the distraction of guys they don't like "hitting on them". To most men, the safety man is ambiguously with all the girls and may be the boyfriend of one of them or may be the boyfriend of the one they might be interested in. Most guys fear the repercussions of approaching a girl who may bewith her boyfriend, so the safety man acts as a sort of "always a shield" for the girls in the group.

When one of them happens to see a guy she may be interested in, the girls all have their social dynamics well in sync to know how to "lower the safety man shield" to make their group(or a certain girl in the group) less intimidating to approach. That's pretty much it. Girls are so sneaky, arent they? But why would I want to talk about this subject? I want people to avoid falling into the trap of being the safety man and to consider taking advantage of the opportunities in ways you may not have considered before.

If you're dating one of the girls(and getting sex from her), then great, enjoy yourself and make sure you're out with them because you have fun and not because you're insecure about whether your girlfriend will cheat on you. If not, why be the safety man for them at all? Unless you want to boost your image to other women at the clubs and get to know them. That's what you ought to be doing. If you're sleeping with the whole entourage of girls than there's nothing to be said. If not, and you have been made the safety man, you'll find other women around easier to approach and talk to. Women will see you as non treating, liked by other women and they'll wonder what is it that other women in the group see in you to have you around. Curiosity will get the better of them so turm up the charm and smile. Phone numbers are going to be slipped to you.

Bar advice. Letting the girls have you as a safety man is one of the best ways of getting to know other women unless you're already attached to one of them.

Meeting the fairer sex

For most guys, meeting girls at clubs is difficult for them. They prefer to meet girls at bookstores, malls, coffee shops, and other daytime "low pressure" venues but meeting girls at clubs can actually be far easier than at daytime venue.

I know that can sound counter intuitive. After all, at a club you have to deal with loud music that can be difficult to talk over, distracting lights, competition from other guys, and girlfriends of the girl you want to know. Worse still, if you go alone you don't know anyone else while it looks like everyone else is having fun. It makes you stick out like a soar thumb.

Even if you go with your friends they're no help either because all they do is stand immobilized by hesitation with a beer at their chest and know next to nothing about picking up girls anyway. Has the following ever happened to you? You walk into the club, checking out how "good" it is. You walk around the entire club to check it out. You don't know anyone, and you don't have anything to do, so you walk around again checking out all the girls. You get bored. Perhaps you get a drink. You walk over to the dance floor and stare at it.

Of course, 20 other guys are also staring at the dance floor. Like a master bed in the center of a master bedroom, the dance floor commands attention. It is very hypnotic because it draws all the people to it. You nurse your beer and eventually decide to walk around the club again. Nothing happens so you decide that the club
"sucks" and then you eventually leave to find a better place.

The problem is, this kind of behavior is the exact opposite of what you should do, because by wandering around you convey certain negative information to girls that shoots down your chances before you even make an approach. When you circle around a club, women notice that you're alone. Most won't label you a "lone psycho" but they've make a mental note that you're alone and therefore lack any social value. Women give you social value by how hot the women and men you're with are.

But most guys walk around the entire club multiple times alone, collecting negative social value the entire time. Think about it. When you first walk into the club, the girls know nothing about you. You could be Justin Timberlake's best friend for all they know. This is your chance to shape their blank impression of you but what do most guys do?

They instantly go about setting a negative impression of themselves by walking around the room and staring at the dance floor. This is what all the guys who have no social value do. So then, if and when you do approach a hot girl, she lacks interest in you because she's already categorized you, all thanks to your actions. Thus, most guys give up on clubs because they're "too hard" but it's not that clubs are "too hard". It's that you're doing them all wrong.

Making clubs or bars work for you is easy. In fact, meeting hot girls at clubs is easier than at other places and you can make them work just as well as if you go with friends or if you go alone. You just have to know what to do. Here are the steps you could use.

When you first walk into the club, SMILE. A lot of women watch the door to size up the guys coming in. Remember, as you walk in your social status is a "blank slate" and you want to be immediately shaping a good first impression. Just don't grin like you shot your face with botox and can't move it.

As soon as you're in, try talking to the first available set of girls or set of girls and guys. Don't look for a lone girl, you won't find her. You'll want to talk to two girls or a guy and a girl which are much easier to find. There. It immediately looks like you have friends. It doesn't matter if the set goes particularly well other women will notice that you're with other girls. They will immediately peg you with social value because they have no idea that you've only just met these girls. Some may opt to go to the bar counter but if you can start up a conversation with someone, it's better than standing there all alone.

Avoid looking at the dance floor like the plague. The dance floor is naturally hypnotic and will naturally draw you in. I know the girls are there but don't look at it. There is nothing there. It is an illusion. Looking at the dance floor only generates NEGATIVE social proof for you. Second, avoid walking around. You only look a like a valueless loner when you do this. Also, if you've built up any positive social proof in one corner of the club, you'll lose it all if you move to another corner. Third, avoid the noisiest areas of the club. Find the quietest area where it's easiest to talk and plant yourself there. You don't want to be yelling over ear breaking noise and most clubs do have a quiet corner or two.

Remember, you walk in with zero social proof, with a clean slate. Everything you do will either up your status or lower it. Everything you do signals women to categorize you as a "loner" or as a "sexy guy". Now the question is, how do you start talking to girls in a club situation? What are good opening lines? After all, I can tell you that you need to approach women right away, but that does you little good unless you know what to say to them. We can cover that another time.

Bar advice. Always remember that women are constantly on the prowl for a guy as well. They size you up the moment they lay eyes on you.

Summer time

What can be said about this time of the year. Party!!! Well maybe not everyone but most people. What are you going to do?

I tell you, this is the time to go freak the day and night. Be happy. Let loose. Enjoy. Don't let things get you down. The beach is calling. Ladies get your bikini on and guys find those scantily clad babes. Don't waste time thinking about what you want but really what you need right now. Have fun.

This is the time of year that you want to just be happy inside. Both guys and girls should be out to have a good time and not think so much about a deep lasting relationship. If that can happen then great but if it doesn't than just enjoy life as it is.

Go to clubs and bars. get a little drunk. If you're in a group of friends then check out for others that are doing the same. Sometimes when we're not looking for anybody, the right one just pops up. Last of all. Dance till you drop.

Bar advice. This is short and sharp. Let loose. The party is just beginning.

Danca Brasil Samba Show & Salsa girls

Bar advice. It's a cultural thing that all of us enjoy. 'Hot ass' dancing seems to be the in thing in all clubs as well. More people the merrier.

Go dancing

Bar advice. Ladies when you go to the clubs and bars, think about having a good time and it will make for a good day even if you don't meet up with anyone nice that night. Just dressing up and going out dancing is just the sort of activity you need to loosen up and feel good. Take lessons if you have to.

Men looking to hook up with chicks.

There are tons of reasons why women go to clubs and bars and it's not just to have fun.Do you think women just dress up in uncomfortable high heels and barely a piece of cloth covering their bosoms to have fun with their girlfriends? Here are a few types that you will find in these places and what you can do to make it easier on you get her attention.

The peacock.
She is the one who seeks your attention but has no intention of going home with you. she dresses sexily in revealing clothes and dances seductively. Once she catches you looking at her, just like a peacock, she spreads her feathers out for more attention. You'd wish she would spread her legs but no chance with this one. Undoubtedly coquettish, she has enough courage to dance alone while her less than confident friends watch. Most likely, in her small group of girlfriends, she is the one that is considered the 'wild one'.

Approachability: Your approach to the typical peacock is to first act cool. Once you both established the first eye contact, ignore her. Don't throw her another glance but you presence should be felt in a calm manner. Casually ask her girlfriend for the time or a lighter and linger around a bit. If she strikes a conversation first, you're in luck. If not, make your move after a few minutes. Don't take too long or she might move on to others.

The Va-Va Vroom
This is the one who has no problems approaching men. She will zoom in like Micheal Schumacher on ecstasy behind a race car. Just like a bloodhound, she will ask you to dance or chat up with you. Sexy, confident and carrying a lot of attitude, she is normally the one dancing on the bar tops or somewhere high above where everyone can see. Her friendly attitude applies to her ring of friends. You'll find her in a pack of equally attractive women. She's the type that will go home with you. Make you feel really great about yourself but will break your heart instantly. Trust me I know from personal experience. Then again I'm not one to complain about great sex.

Approachability:Chances are she will approach you first but for some reason if you are not on her radar, go up to her and ask her to dance. She likes confident men who shows her attention too. One key thing. Don't offer to but her drinks as other interested parties have been doing that all night. Unless she just got there then be the first.

The Gazing deer
We all grew up with Bambi and the story has taught us that deers are pretty animals. In the human version she is the one that is sincere, kind, confident, attractive and sexy in a subtle way. However, her beauty is skin deep which is evident when you mingle with her or try to have a chat. She can be bitchy if she finds you offensive and drop you in a second. She doesn't let you know she's interested but will eventually one day when she's really into you. She loves playing hard to get, basically, but she loves a gentleman. The kind who will ask her if she needs more drinks or hold her hand when she pukes it out.

Approachability: Start by complimenting her outfit or how good her hair looks. Be very subtle and make sure that she has no clue that you're tyring to pick her up.If she gets hold of that she may drop you like a stone. make friends first. She is the kind that you can bring home to mom but you'll have to work at it very hard. It may take more time and effort but the reward will be nice.

The Promiscuous.
Have you ever seen an agitated lioness prowling in the cage looking like she's premenstruating? The promiscuous type will play you like the dog she made you out to be. She is the opposite of men that 'fool around'. She might have a equally sexy boyfriend on her arm that night at the club and it attracts envy from the ladies as well as men, gay or otherwise. She is the kind that will dance with a man other than her boyfriend and not tell them she's attracted because she is deliberately stirring jealousy. Watching two guys fight it out gives her an ultimate high like a dominatrix vixen in leather admiring bevy of slaves vying for her attention under her wing.

Approachability: The only way you'll succeed is if her boyfriend leaves her alone for most of the night and she flirting with you and making eye contact(and a friend of your can vouch for that in case the boyfriend comes).Approach her only is no bigger than you or if you have a friend that can help you out if things get ugly. She has power over guys and if you go after her then be on your guard. Not recommended if you like the way your face looks right now.

Bar advice. There are so many girls out there that are all sorts of categories that are not mentioned here but approaching the them and getting what you want are not easy. Live and learn is what I say. Also, have fun while you're out there trying. Don't forget, the girls are out there looking for that special guy as well.

More flirting secrets

Learn how to spice up the game of love and intrigue everyone you meet by finding and flaunting your most bewitching self. Sharpen up your flirting skills by discovering:

* 25 ways to be a great flirt
* how to create an alluring first impression
* how to overcome the fear of flirting
* how to flirt anywhere, at parties, on the job, while traveling, on the phone, in the car, at the health club
* how to dress fetchingly
* where to go, what to do, and with whom to flirt
* and many more tantalizing secrets

Bar advice.Whether you're a shy beginner or an advanced coquette or Casanova, these perfected flirting tips and secrets will soon have you charming the socks off everyone.

Cofidence for you ladies. Know it now.

Remember Teri Hatcher doing those impossible splits right on the studio floor on Oprah's show? Sheer confidence! Maybe Carmen Electra positively gushing about what exotic dance has done for her body and bedroom tactics? A large number of celebrities have recently taken to a sexy alternative to working out. From pole vaulting they have leapt straight to pole dancing at the X Factor and they aren’t stopping at pole-dancing either. Our celebrity pin-up girls have been everywhere and done everything, from Strip-Aerobics to Exotic Dance Workouts, the motto is ‘Everything sexy goes’!

If all this sudden gush for sex is making you blush, you go ahead and click your tongue and hang your head in shame, no one will begrudge you. “SEX SELLS” and we are being sold it morning, noon and night through every possible channel. It screams at you from gigantic billboards featuring gorgeous demi-love-gods, pierces into your fantasy’s through the television and fondles your imagination with semi-naked bodies scattered all over the net. Life itself is like one giant, prolonged orgasm and as a woman you are expected to idolize those models and endeavor to look like one.

Sure you wanna be Carrie from ‘Sex and the City’ and moan and groan and roll around on your bed with a different guy every night, seven nights a week turning your life into a series of fantastic sexual escapade but you'll snap out of it. After all life is not a TV show and learning how to embrace your sexuality takes time and effort.

First impressions are important. Amongst the glamour of the TV shows and the supposed sexual abandonment, the skin and the G-Strings, women have to deal with mixed messages, guilt trips, religious dogma, body image, and misinformation. Sure getting your hymen snapped by 16 is a must, but so is regretting doing it by 25. Beneath all our external frills, getting laid is an issue women deal with badly.

The concept of‘Positive Sex is an idea not many of us have managed to fathom yet. Fornication is still, essentially a male domain, where women participate like whimpering goats, hesitating and interestingly enough feeling insecure about their role in it all. In general cases.

A majority of women swear by making love in the dark. Here's what I KNOW, most of us are ashamed of our body. Nudity is a concept we haven't been taught to handle well. Seeing ourselves naked freaks us out, and knowing that someone else is watching us naked, desiring our body for itself, brings to life our worst fears. This is the gaze our parents warned us against, this is what religious lessons have told us to avoid. So off goes the light, plunging everything, from ourselves, to that desirous gaze, to our insecurities, into comforting darkness.

The truth is that the darkness serves as a warm invitation to what Susan Bremer calls our ''Shadow”side. ‘'Every woman wants to take a trip to their wild side” she explains,‘We all yearn to seduce. But we've been told over and over again that to rejoice in our body is immoral, yet the wish to feel powerful in our sensuality, to express our sexuality remains.” Jane(a girl I know), a proud ‘Gentleman club’ dancer considers her sexual prowess to be her way of establishing her role in a world hounded by men.

This sense of power probably needs some delving into. As women suffer from their own insecurities. It’s a cliche by now but they all know that the world belongs to the testosterone thugs. They keep women down everywhere, be it in the boardroom or wherever. Slowly women grow use to being kept down, such that they soon become conditioned to not reversing the situation at all.

A positive sex-image, whether you use it or not, can and will alter all this most miraculously. Your sexual achievements in the bedroom can give you the kind of omnipotent confidence which oozes out from your personal to public sphere. For any woman with low self-esteem, the act of embracing your sexuality serves as a miracle tool for believing that she can have that effect on other people, in a non-sexual environment too.

The thing is, much as we try to shake it off, we are all sexual beings. Sex is important to us and it has the power to make us feel good. 65% of women in most countries do not, at their heart of hearts, take this idea seriously. Good sex or an attempt to have good sex, for them, is still a nudge-nudge-whisper-whisper issue. This attitude gets transferred from them to their kids and grand kids and so on, such that each generation of these young women grow up with the idea that every time they are making love they ought to feel guilty about it. This mystifying of the subject is harmful for a lot of reasons.

For starters it gives us a lifelong baggage of guilt, every time we think about sex. Every time we fantasize or our hands itch to masturbate we feel like a criminal. The constant feeling that sex is wrong or dirty leads to a negative self-image as a person. That misinformation means that when we are in the act it can be hard to enjoy it, leading to severe sexual frustration, not a feeling you'd like to carry around with you.
.
Ladies this discussion might go on and on, because of the trouble to face the fact that we like getting laid. All this has a very easy solution. Get in to your sexiest lacy underwear, devote tonight to unleashing the temptress in you and for once really, really enjoy it without any hang-ups.

Bar advice.You will like the results tomorrow morning.Of course pick the man you really want.

Meeting women in bars and on the street

So you want to know how to meet girls in areas with plenty of them. Here are the situations First: The bars and clubs where the music is so loud, where there are too many people with little or no space to move, and the girls are dancing with themselves,. The main idea is that it is very hard and almost pointless to start a conversation in these areas. How do I do it?

Second: How do I meet girls who are walking along the street maybe going somewhere. Like on their way to work or shopping or somewhere else. The point is how do people do this to with women. But here, its almost considered weird because you pop out of nowhere and she's not expecting it.

Finally, what do you do when a girl tells you she has a boyfriend? Should you leave her alone or continue your business of getting her? What if she is totally in love with her boyfriend, how do you win her over?

Okay, first, bars and clubs are very difficult venues. Unless you're specially suited to the party style nightlife, these venues will be a bit daunting and even if you are predisposed to this type of pick up, you will still have to deal with lots of competition from other men. That said, it's not impossible to meet women in nightclubs. But it will require you to be a little more outgoing and aggressive than other venues.Unless she's a working girl then there's no problem except the money as price.

Here's stuff that you can do. When you're in a club, you tend to like to hang out in open-air areas where you can talk to other people easier. Patios that are right outside the club can be good for this. Most clubs will have some form of outdoor area where you can hang out especially places like New York and Los Angeles and even Singapore (Starting in July 2007) where you're not allowed to smoke inside. The dance floor can also be quite effective. If you like to dance, go out there and try dancing with the women who are dancing by themselves. If they're not into it, move on. If they are then it's play time! Also, keep in mind the time at which you're going to the club. Usually, the later it gets, the easier it is to pick up a girl (this is because as it gets later, people are more predisposed to "hook up" due to alcohol, desperation, boredom, etc.) so think about that.

Second, to approach women on the street takes a bit of finesse. People do tend to be a bit more private than in many parts of the world. My best advice in this respect is to actually follow the girl for a bit and see where she's going. If she stops off at a coffee shop or a bus stop, or whatever, that is the time to approach her! If it looks like she's going someplace you can't follow her into (like her home or office for instance) then you'll have to take the chance and try approaching her cold. But make it a quick approach and include a time constraint ("I know you're on your way somewhere, this will only take a second..."), get her number as quick as you can, then move on.

Finally, when it comes to the "boyfriend" thing, that's a matter of personal taste. Some guys don't want to mess with that, others don't care. The thing is, most women aren't that committed to their boyfriends, so it's not as big of an obstacle as you might think.The important thing to do in this situation is to try and "read" the woman. Sometimes, a girl will tell you she has a boyfriend when she really doesn't because she wants to politely reject you (and sometimes she really does have a boyfriend and wants to stay faithful to him). If this is the case, you have to look at the signals she's giving you to see if she's actually into you or not. If a woman does like you and is in fact into you, she will usually withhold the fact that she has a boyfriend. And if she does bring it up, she wants you to take the lead and "sweep her off her feet" so she won't have to feel guilty about cheating on him. So when that's the case, it's time to pump up the aggressiveness on your pick up.

Bar advice. If you learn how to read a woman properly then you'll get somewhere. Don't fear rejection to the point that you'll become the oldest bachelor among your friends. If you need help then I suggest you get some help from books or ebooks on the subject

Looking forward to the New Year or not.

The end of the year is coming so what is going on in our heads. Well, for some it's work, business, new beginnings and for others it's who am I going to be with to party on new years eve.

Just like Christmas we sometimes have that sense of loneliness. New year, however, is celebrated by everyone around the planet so just as we are looking forward to new beginnings, we also want to have a last ending and going out with a bang. What is going to happen is we will start to give ourselves resolutions for the coming year and tell ourselves that we got to stick to them. The problem is that we also tell ourselves that we got a few days to party like mad.

We hit the bars, clubs, massage places and some maybe even the red light districts. It's natural and a lot of people will be doing just that. Two years ago I remember a really great, freak out time we had at a previous bar that I had. There were so many hot girls and the guys were salivating just looking at them. There were some hookers but it was all fun. Like I said, everyone celebrates the new year. The feeling in the air was like a full moon above and all the coyotes were howling. Something you see in the movies or cartoons.

We all got that animal magnetism. It draws the male and female togetherness and when there's something to celebrate and lots of drinks at the bar, then hormones take over and we go a little nuts over sex. The opposite sex, even if less attractive on that night, is still pursued because everyone wants to end with a bang like I said. Somehow we just want something special before the last day of the year. some because it was a really bad year for work or some because they are far away from the one they love. Maybe some need to fill a space when they broke up with someone recently. Even the hookers will throw in a freebie if they like you.

Bar advice. Before the end of the year comes. Make those resolutions. In fact make a long list of it then after that when the first day comes. Take out that list and throw it all away except one. Why? Because it's hard to change. You'll feel better when you can do one then not do any.