How To Add Variety To Your Sex Life?

For the guys...

Lets talk about variety

Variety is the spice of life, and it is definitely a big one to transform your sex life!

So, how to add variety to your sex life?

Emotional Variety

This is the most important type of variety in sex. Some times you should go for a romantic experience. Start with a massage and spend loads of time with foreplay. Tell her how much you love her and how great it feels to make love to her. Other times you should give her the authoritative and dominant style. Playfully tear her clothes off getting in the door and talk dirty to her. Shake things it up! Don't give her the same emotional experience every time.

Fantasy 

Most guys don't have a problem with fantasy, especially since they are more likely to have seen porn online or seen magazines, etc but that is really fake. It's an industry that is driven on sexual stimulation combined with peoples sexual desire and curiosity that makes them money. So please don't think real women does what you've read or seen in porn. Some women might but that's not what should be applied here. 

Do you really understand how much (emotional) fantasy is involved in a woman's sex life? Women do and feel great if a guy can trigger this in the right way. Author Danielle Steele is the seventh best selling author of all time with 550 Million books sold because she knows how to turn a woman on emotionally.  If a woman picked up her book to read, they are immediately connected emotionally because she writes it that way. If guys can tap into this then your woman will be more into you.

Spontanaeity

Your sex life is dead in the water if it's just routine. Day in day out the same routine, time slot, sexual method, etc. Doom! There are many things one can do if you put your mind to it. If you're the sort that just takes her out once a week then go back and have your weekly romp in bed then it's all done and if this sounds like you...then you need to try some of these immediately!

• Wake her up with sex. (A slow morning approach before she wakes up. Fantastic!)
  
  
• Surprise her in the shower. (A woman likes privacy but intimacy and spontaneity wins)
  
  
• Pull over on the side of the highway and get it on in the car. (Simple and effective)
  
  
• Do it in the kitchen, the pool, the stairs, the back yard. (Sex around the house is fun)
  
  
• Take an afternoon off to do nothing but have sex. (Make sudden special time just for her)

Different Positions

I bet you thought when I mentioned variety earlier it meant different positions. Incredible sex isn't about putting her in the reverse upside down doggy style one night and the inverted spinning frogy style the next. Even the simple missionary style can be fulfilling if there is great connection on both emotional and physical levels. That being said, a little variety of positions can go a long way. By combining the emotional feed, fantasy and different approaches in your sex life, you can keep changing and making it exciting for both of you.

 Bar Advice. Where possible, sex should never be planned, made routine, or obligatory.

How To Make Him Think You're A Good Catch?

SO... How To Make Him Think You're A Good Catch? Let me tell you a simple secret about men. We CRAVE a woman who will let us adore her and who absolutely LOVES it when we do.

But that type of woman is really hard to find, believe it or not, and men have just as hard a time finding "The One". So if we ever DO find her, we want to KEEP her. She doesn't need to convince us, or talk us into it, or do a million nice little things for us. That would be great but for men, if they found "the girl", that's all they really desire. That's the kind of love you want too, right? I thought so.

So let me ask you this...

Do you know how to let a man see that you ARE that woman for him? That woman who will delight and inspire him like no other? The woman who will entice him to WILLINGLY give up his single freedom?

What do you think it is that makes us want to pursue ONLY you?

The way you kiss?
Being a great cook?
Pleasing towards our ego?

NOPE! It's much more subtle than that. It's all about using your innate feminine energy that drives a man absolutely wild with desire.

So lets say you've finally met a man you really like and can see yourself having a relationship with him. You should make an effort to show him you're a real great find, right? Actually, no. The fantastic thing about being a woman is that getting a man to see how wonderful you are doesn't involve any effort at all. In fact, putting effort into trying to get or keep a man will end up pushing him away. If you've ever had a man seem very interested in you at first only to suddenly become distant and pull away, this could be the reason why.

Showing a man you're someone he wants to get closer to requires the opposite. It's all about simply being, not doing. When you meet a great guy, you often try to do, do, do whatever you can to make him see what a great catch you are. Probably even go out of our way to do things for a man, plan outings together, and sometimes even say yes to things he wants that go against what you want.

You can't convince a man to fall in love. But you can lead him there by connecting to his heart. One of the most powerful ways to do this is to let yourself be guided by your feminine energy rather than your masculine. Feminine energy is about being instead of doing. When you focus on simply being in the moment and enjoying a man's company and attention, you automatically shift your vibe so that he can step into the masculine role. To do that, you must first be open to receive.

Inspiring a man to see you as "the woman" he wants to be with forever is all about you being able to receive love. Men fall in love when they give to you, not because of how much you give them or do for them. When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, gifts, and always go out of your way to drive to his place, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you. It may backfire because he, as a man, feels he should be the one doing all that instead.

When you're open to receiving from a man, you're sending a message that you value yourself. You believe you're worthy of his time, attention, little gestures, and ultimately his love. So resist the temptation to prove your worth by giving, and instead create the space for him to give to you.

Men are competitive creatures who value what they have to work hard to get. You can call it the trill of the chase. If he gets a sense that you're completely devoted to him with very little investment on his part, he'll question your value. Do not give away exclusivity to a man until you have the commitment you want from him. Instead, you keep dating and meeting lots of different men so that you give yourself a chance to find out what you really want and need from a relationship. At the same time, you aren't prematurely cutting yourself off from your Mr. Right in case you haven't met him yet!

When you keep the focus on yourself and keep yourself open to other men, you send the message loud and clear that you're a woman who puts herself first and that you are a prize. This elevates your "degree of difficulty" so he has to step up his game to get you all to himself...or risk another guy beating him to it.

The most important thing to remember when you're dating a man and want him to realize how wonderful you are is to put your happiness first. Just one piece of caution. He may get tired doing all the chasing so you need to allow him to actually catch you in the end or you'll end up alone as no man will be able to do any catching. So..how to be irresistible to the opposite sex?

By letting him know you have a life outside of him actually makes him more attracted to you. Not just because you're not about to drop everything for him, but because people who are passionate about their interests are interesting people! It might feel a little scary to do this with a guy you really like, but the right guy will gladly rearrange his plans to see you. Why? Because you've just proven you're a great catch he has to woo and win.

When you try to convince a man that you're a great catch, you end up giving off a "needy" vibe that actually dampens his attraction for you. Having to "prove" yourself makes him think that you don't have a solid sense of self. But when you focus on yourself rather than on HIM, it automatically conveys that you are a great catch. His interest will be captivated by you.

Bar Advice. Your strong self-esteem is intriguing to him. He'll see it and want to win you over.

Remembering Marilyn Monroe 50 Years On

Norma Jeane Baker

Marilyn Monroe is being remembered all over the world after her 50th death anniversary on 5th August 1962. Norma Jean Baker (originally Norma Jeane Mortenson) was only 36 when she died of questionable circumstance at the height of her career. It is still debated on the ruling of probable suicide from acute barbiturate poisoning. Till today, and after much written about her, no one can end the debate on what really happened.

We all remember Elton John's ode to her in his song Candle In The Wind. It was also one of Princess Diana's favorite tunes and oddly was later redone by Elton at Diana's funeral. Marilyn is one of those iconic figures that everyone looking at her picture will know this bombshell instantly.  I remember seeing her in many of the old black and white films like  Bus Stop / How to Marry a Millionaire / There's No Business Like Show Business / Gentlemen Prefer Blondes / The Seven Year Itch / The Final Days. They were, and still are for many, some best loved movies ever made. 


I was wondering, what if someone had a babe like Marilyn on their arm? Fact is, many people who knew her said she was sometimes very childlike and even ignorant of those trying to take advantage of her. She, like every other girl at the time and even today, was looking to be in Hollywood as a star. Probably she never imagined herself as huge as she became that even all the US military guys during the war had her as one of their favourite pin up girls in their barracks.

There is a collection of written artifacts, letters, notes to herself, and even poems in Marilyn’s own handwriting along with rarely seen intimate photos and you can find it in the book Fragments.

Marilyn Monroe

All I feel is, Marilyn Monroe was and always will be a Hollywood legend and a star icon that was loved by guys all over and idolized by many ladies. It would not be the same movies without her cast in it and her performance in them. She was a delight to look at and I believe most people genuinely felt good vibes of that brilliant smile and the little mole on the cheek. Although married and divorced 3 times in her life, she was the ultimate sex symbol of her time. After her death her second husband, legendary baseball player, Joe DiMaggio claimed her body and arranged her funeral. For 20 years, he had a half dozen red roses delivered to her crypt three times a week. Now that's love.

So as we remember Marilyn Monroe in the many wonderful ways and devastating and suspicious end, may the next 50 years be filled with dazzle and intrigue. Even in death she can still make headlines. I choose to remember her as the desirable and beautiful woman I saw on screen and on the photos galore of her everywhere.

Bar Advice. In loving memory of the sensuous and ultimate hottie in my book, Marilyn Monroe.

Olympics Gold Medal Event - Sex

The Olympics gold medal event is a daily occurrence we see in the 16 days of glory when an athlete is on top form, performs well and is at peak. Yes, we love to see a winner and so do the athletes themselves. With all that toned, firm and sexy looking babes and hunks in the Olympic village, its a wonder anyone gets any sleep. It seems there is lots of sex at the Olympic village.

Every time 10000 athletes are placed in the village and it becomes a party zone like Las Vegas. Even former swim star Susan Summers said "What happens in the village, stays in the village". Can you really blame them? After all, throw a party with beautiful, young, and in this case healthy, energetic people in one place and you are bound to attract someones eye or whatever body part you prefer.

This year in particular, unprecedented, all nations have female athletes sent to the games. This wasn't the case before especially from Muslim nations but this year everyone's included. So its truly a mash of every guy or girl from every nation looking at everyone in one single place. So now the Olympic village sex London party is in full gear

So how did all this news about Olympic village sex come about?  Well it seems that stories have arisen from past Olympians and the athletes spill details of dirty secrets of Olympic village that happened. What's that? Yes, one on one sexual encounters and even orgies have been mentioned. In fact, thousands of free condoms will be available. Organizers have heard enough about village antics from previous games to know there will be heavy demand by athletes for contraception.

With so many beautiful people in one spot, can you blame them? In the end its memories of a lifetime and everyone is human. Most have never even stepped out of their own countries, let alone seen people of different races or culture up close and personal. It's going to be memorable this summer games.

Bar Advice. Stronger, Higher, Faster may mean different things to some. LOL.

Why A Man Pulls Away From A Woman?

A little help for the ladies in this one. I'm going to reveal to you why a man pulls away from a woman and what to do to bring him close to you again. Imagine attracting a man emotionally and intellectually in such a way that he absolutely can't resist wanting to be around you.

Not only that, but imagine all the obstacles and excuses falling away. No more "I'm too busy" or "I have to work through some issues." The only thing he'll know is his desire to be with you. If you finally want to feel this secure in a relationship, then you need to check out specific ways to subtly communicate to a man the things that will trigger that intense level of attraction inside him.

You can literally have a man who wasn't totally "feeling it" for you to suddenly take notice, see and recognize the things inside you he simply didn't look for or see before. You will need to turn up the dial on the level of attraction a man feels and experiences with you on both a physical and emotional level. You may begin seeing some amazing changes in your love life right away and feel the kind of confidence and security with a man that you've never experienced before. But, it may not start off like that initially. So, how to make him think you're a good catch?

Wouldn't it be great to know for sure that your man was going to take you in his arms and let you know  without a doubt that he wants you and only you? Wouldn't it be amazing never to have to worry again that he is losing interest when he becomes distant or that you've done something wrong? It's entirely possible when you understand the reasons a man has for acting distant and what to do about it when he does.

A man will seem really excited to be with you, he'll ask you out, maybe even bring you flowers, call all the time, and then... Bang! Something shifts. He pulls back. He stops making plans like he used to and you start to feel like you did something wrong or that he doesn't like you as much any more. Doubt and insecurity creeps in.

Here's an insight about men that's fascinating and strange and that once you understand it is going to stop a lot of the pain and frustration you experience with dating and relationships. When a man gets truly close to a woman and deeply intimate for any extended period of time, he loves that feeling and wants more of it. But the strange part of this is that the moment a man experiences this period of intense closeness, he will take some space for himself. I know this sounds counter intuitive, but it's how most men work emotionally. Most guys will actually seek some amount of space to "recover". It's kind of like how after a muscle gets worked out it needs to rest before it can grow stronger and be active again. An extreme example would be a groom not showing up for his wedding.

Men can become distant even in good relationships and if you know what to do, you can keep your guy physically and emotionally engaged...even when he needs so called time to recover. There's also another reason why a man might withdraw that has nothing whatsoever to do with you. He's not living his "purpose".

It's important for a man to be clear about what he's doing in his own life and what his purpose is. A man's purpose can be anything from something as straight forward like excelling at his career or building his own company, to something more creative like starting and working a project at home or training at his favorite sport. The point is that men have goals and are engaged and focused on doing something and doing it well. A man's purpose is essential to his overall emotional and social well being. But often times, even men themselves aren't clear on what their purpose is or don't really go after their purpose and assert themselves. They can also be lost in a sense of an incomplete life.

 When a man isn't going after his own purpose, or has fallen away from it or forgotten about it, it often gets in the way of the strained relationship he's in. Men become withdrawn, restless, irritated and seem generally unengaged in life as a whole. Not forgetting, he may have parents that nag him or constantly remind him of his dream or objective or goal he had set and not done it yet. All due to you! So this added pressure, dealing with you and everyone else, causes them to take a step back.

They stop initiating plans. They stop spending as much time with people. Even their own friends. They shut the world out. Of course, they become emotionally withdrawn and distant as well. Too often men aren't conscious that this is what's happening to them and they end up pulling away from their relationship and making things even worse for themselves. This is when they often seem to go in and out of being present and
engaged in the relationship, and then completely withdrawn. 

Often women take on the problems the man is going through and try and help or even mistake his behavior to mean his feelings is about them or the relationship. So now that you know that a man's withdrawing is not automatically your fault, what can you do about it?

When you're with a man who is feeling or acting uncertain with you, trying to convince him otherwise puts you in a very dangerous and weak position for your relationship even if you give him an ultimatum that would move things ahead to the place in your relationship that you want. Why? Because he's not really making that decision based on what he wants or feels. What you really want and need is a man who is truly committed to being with you on a physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual level. Not coerced, not forced, not convinced. He needs to come to his own realization of everything.

If you're like most women, then you think sharing your feelings with a man first will somehow get him to share his feelings in return.  But this isn't how it works for a man. You can share your feelings with a man, but to expect that this will encourage him to do the same with you will only lead you to unnecessary frustration, especially if a man is already acting withdrawn. When a man acts withdrawn, that's a signal that he is undergoing his own emotional process and needs time to recharge. Once he's ready to share his feelings, he'll be back. But trying to stimulate him to do so by becoming overly emotional won't work. Most guys never experience a good relationship so they are thrown into the deep and even if they know how to swim, they feel paralyzed.

Women tend to think that if things are going well with a guy, that he will naturally want to move things forward to the next level. They'll just assume this even when the guy has never talked about the future. Woman created all these expectations about what the relationship was supposed to look like and how he was supposed to behave and when he fell short of that, she becomes disappointed and unfulfilled. This usually winds up in a confrontation that causes tension and maybe even creates more distance.

What you need to do first, before you do anything else, is get clear about what you want and expect from your love life. You need to be honest with yourself first before you can be honest with anyone else in your life. Stop pretending you only want a casual, fun fling when what you really want is to have committed, serious relationship that's going somewhere.


Now, let's get down to what's really going on when it comes to men and relationships.

Here's the thing, get clear about what you want. Guide your mind in all kinds of positive directions to help you find and attract the right situations and people in your life. Accepting a situation that is anything other than what you truly want will not only make you unhappy, it will keep you tied to a man who's not right for you. So really ask yourself what kind of relationship you want before you become involved with a man. It's OK to want what you want and to let a man know it. In fact, it's a must. And it's OK to tell a man that his behavior doesn't match with what you want.

Guys crave honest women who are up front about who they are and what they want in relationships. In a way that says that she's not too attached to the immediate outcome and subtlety lets him know that he better have his act together, or else. He suddenly sees you as "one of the guys". A buddy that he can talk to. Remember, most guys are not able to pick up on your complex girly thinking but when you keep it simple, send the message out like one of his friends...then he gets it. Simple right?

You'll not only move closer to the relationship you want, but you'll weed out the guys who can't give you that in the process. This is the critical key to inspiring a man to be close to you again. Actually allow yourself to be open and vulnerable. This is the space that you will actually receive love from your man and to do this requires that you actually take a step back so that a man can come towards you and start giving you his love and attention.  If you don't leave this space, you will keep filling the space, and he will not step forward. That means you let go of the need to control what happens next and give him the chance to adjust, call, make plans with you or initiate affection.

When you back off like this, a man will firstly be caught off guard and pleasantly surprised as he probably hasn't had this happen with a woman before. Once he gets over this, he'll realize that he actually needs less time away from you, because you're not going to hold it against him.

Remember:, a man can't read your mind, or know all that's in your heart. If you're carrying around pain or fear, it's surely getting in the way of him seeing that beautiful and real you underneath that he would want to know and love.

Bar Advice. Make it easy for him and it will change for you.

Sexual Aura

There's this really strange, mystical and invisible aura that surrounds those that are projecting their sexual side. People, both men and women, all have it but there are those that just have it a little more than others.

A lot of these unique individuals don't even realize that they are doing anything out of the ordinary. Have you ever sensed everyone looking at you when you enter a room? Most women have some sort of natural radar so to speak, that tells them a guy is paying 'extra' attention to them. There are times also where she will feel uncomfortable when someone she doesn't fancy is eying her. The one that that really gets to me sometimes is when her modesty button kicks in and she tries not to make eye contact with a guy that she knows like her but holds back too much. What's that all about? If you like someone you should indicate so. Playing hard to get can end up making you and old maid.

Guys on the other hand are totally different. Since prehistoric days women seem to be more attentive to the 'brute'. If the guy is macho and personifies a tough, strong image then he's probably going to be with a lot of girls. The women that want this sort of guy will only wish that he's got a sensitive side as well. How are they suppose to take him to see mummy if he's doesn't?

Some women like the guy a little timid because they don't like domineering guys. Some prefer chubby fellows because they feel that he won't be too attractive to other women. Guys also like women less pretty so that their chances are higher in getting her. Lot of guys also feel that someone less attractive will not have too much wants and needs. Both women and men who have trouble getting a partner are more prone to living a single life than marrying someone they are not sure about.

The thing about the sexual aura is that the individual must desire for another person to enter their life. You don't go putting on your nice clothes, combing your hair, wearing nice shoes and go out only to come home to your parents house and family dog, right? When you're putting yourself out there for the whole world to see, you got to 'want' someone to take notice. Flirt a little if necessary. Make eye contact. Your seduction success depends on a variant of factors. Flaunt what you got. Make someone take notice to the point that the other person really wants to know you better. You need to focus on your 'intention' of getting someone in your life and only than can it happen.

There are lot of individuals out there that know this little 'secret' already. They just have it and they use this sexual aura to their favour. It's easy for them to be able to get anyone they want. Some women can make men turn their heads even if the guy is walking on the street with another woman. Guys can bring out a smile from a girl on the other side of the room and flirt with her twenty feet away with her not taking her eyes off him. The power of this sexual aura can also be sensed by the same gender at that present moment. By this I mean that another woman or man can sense that energy off the person that is personifying it.

These individuals are normally envied by others because other people want that type of charisma. End of the day, some people have it and some don't. However, it doesn't mean you have none and good news is, you can pick it up just by being around others. Observe these people and you'll see that even the slightest gesture, in many cases none at all, will draw attraction towards them.

Bar Advice. Finding someone is hard enough. Getting them or just their attention is more difficult unless you desire it in your aura.

Constant Fighting With Your Partner

What can be the true cause of the constant fighting with your partner? Is there a value you dislike? Something they do that drives you crazy each time?  Lack of money? Comparison of past relationships keeps coming up? Ever think your personal issues may be the reason?

Your internal conflict can spill outwards and create relationship problems. A fine example is not feeling worthy of true love but wanting to be accepted.  Feeling unloved can lead people to doubt in their partner’s love towards them. Like trying to validate what is there or they are unable to accept or feel the love that their partner shows because of some unknown subconscious issues.

Basically anything their partner says or does that confirms this unfounded belief will hit them to the core and rekindle past memories that may be the main cause. Often resulting in the conclusion that their partner does not love them. It then feels totally true to them because it triggers that belief internally of being unlovable. This may not necessarily be with a previous partner. It could go back to when they were a child and witnessed disaster in their parents relationship or they were not loved like in most families.

Sadly there is a belief that if they get out of an bad relationship that they will be happy. Then later they find themselves in the same situation with someone else. This adds to their train of thought that no one cares or loves them enough or even prevents them from being with anyone again. Fact is, you cant run away from yourself and you need to see that you could be the problem. No one likes to see themselves as the issue but if more people checked themselves, less fighting will occur.  With all that in mind, remember, finding a soul mate is already hard itself.

If you examine your self defeating beliefs that are blocking your happiness things could change dramatically. Talk about the problem with your partner or get professional help even. Change your beliefs and change those that are not serving you then your relationships will begin to heal.

Bar Advice. Your partner will see a new beginning in your changed approach in the relationship and even they will change and you will see things in a different prospective in your life.

Teenage Girl Falls To Her Death

I was on Facebook when I can across the Yahoo news headline-Teenage girl falls to her death at Ang mo kio. The funny thing was, I had seen her profile before as friend of friends, but I didn't know her personally. She was a really sweet Japanese mixed Chinese girl. If you read the sad story of her suicide, as two notes were left behind, you will find it was due to a strained relationship with her boyfriend. 

Just by reading a few entries in her blog, I felt she was under pressure to be more successful in her studies and she personally  beat herself up about her failures. 

Reading more of her blog entries and that her boyfriend never liked being in photos with her and she asking if it was abnormal, says to me, the relationship seemed more one sided in the love department than meets the eye.

Any guy, in their right mind, would be proud to have this smiling beauty by their side and take as many photos she likes to post so others will know she's "taken". The yahoo news article reported she indicated in her Facebook post that most of their on/off relationship was mostly due to his controlling nature.


Let me address this. Being controlled in a relationship is like a slow disease growing that no one sees and even the one that has it happening to them, does nothing but hope it changes. Unfortunately, it mostly ends in either major heartache, pain, tears and rare tragedy, as in this case.


Being young in love, in lust, whatever, is a normal thing that happens all around the world but is it worth taking your own life to end a hurting heart? Especially when the person doing it to you just wants to make you feel worthless and small. Wake up! You are your own person. If someone else cannot appreciate you for who you are, why remain in the relationship? Obviously you got to check your own part in it all but your personality and character is what makes you unique and You! If the other has their own insecurities about their life and the relationship, then they are the ones with a problem.  


I felt sad when I looked at that cheerful face in the photo and read how Krystal Aki Mizoguchi  took her life for something that maybe she was too young to be able to handle or find advice. Her separated parents didn't help as a model of relationship success either. Perhaps even peers could not help as they too may have been in a seemingly similar dilemma or simply they were not able to give advice, let alone read the signs. Perhaps a really close friend may have know all about her worries, fears, pain and turmoil but as we all know by now...it's all too late. R.I.P Krystal!


Bar Advice. Learn from this you young people. Learn!

The Advice We Get About Our Relationship

I've seen so many situations where a relationship between two people have been jeopardized by other people like family members, friends, colleagues, etc. These people, may at times be genuinely concerned but on numerous occasions they are not.

The Advice We Get  About Our Relationship can occasionally be damaging. Sometimes our best friends say bad things about the person we are with because they may have feelings of loss of your friendship or feel like someone splitting up a good team between you two. There is also, at times, jealousy involved where a friend just can't find a partner and if you are involved with someone they advise you that the person you're with isn't right for you. Some may even spread rumors or lies in hopes of breaking you up.

Office colleagues working together have a tendency to have an office romance or even sexual encounters where it is a mutual understanding, including affairs with married people. However, if someone gets attached and is in a relationship suddenly the whole dynamics change. Where a sexual friendship is suddenly interrupted, people have feelings stirred to the surface that they didn't realize was alive. This could also be anything as low key as daily flirting in the office and not actually having sex with that person but it remains the same feeling.

Being deprived access to someone because a third party has stepped in could drive some people to do ugly things and sure enough they provide all sorts of warnings and bad advice to place terror into the mind in hopes that they can invoke a break up so things can go back as it was and they look the hero.

In certain circumstances the advice about your new relationship may come from a colleague of the same gender and gives you negative remarks about the person you're with because they have a hidden agenda. In certain cases, they may be gay and attracted to you in secret so they advise you about relationship horror stories hoping you don't remain hitched and they may still have a shot even if you're not gay. Doesn't matter if you're male or female. They probably are hoping for the best or fearing the worst if you find out about their desire or orientation and that's why they do it.

On the home front, you may have to deal with older sisters or brothers and if they are married, its worse. They believe they are fit to be your adviser on matters of the heart because their monotonous life works! So, in their head, they are fit to advise you on your choice of partner and relationship matters even though the lack of romance or sex in their own relationship is up for debate.

Parents on the other hand is a little tricky. They may have your best interest at heart but most of the time we never listen to them. Do we? Some mothers are concern we make an impulsive choice or be lured away by an unscrupulous person that will bring heartache and sadness. However, mom's advice although sound, is hardly in our minds when we make choices of the heart. I guess the dreaded idea of bringing home that special someone only to have a disapproving argument later on our choice is enough for anyone to have a heart attack. Just like in the movies.

Don't get too discouraged. Not all advice is bad. There are many friends and colleagues that will be happy for you, tease you along and even help you when needed. Parents too, especially mom, will be your biggest supporter and helpful adviser. So its not all doom and gloom even though there is a lot of bad advice coming from people who you should stay far away from.

Bar Advice. It boils down to your choice. No one else. Just be aware what advice you're getting, who and why they're giving it to you.

What's the state of your relationship?

What's the state of your relationship? Yours may have romance, love and a greatly understanding partner but there's a possibility the relationship may fail. What can you do to help your relationship?

Don't nitpick, as everyone has a tendency to do this. Stop looking at their peculiar habits and this will help you to enjoy their company more. You're not your partners parent. Talk about these things.




Try discussing any issues which you may face with your partner. Solve the problem instead of dumping it, leaving then coming back to argue even further. The problem is still there, earlier or later, but later it may get worse so nip it in the bud before it escalates

People who select the wrong partner find it difficult to settle in the relationship. Weigh all the advantages and disadvantages on who will be an ideal person in your life. Changing someone to your needs or idealism can be difficult and a strain on the feelings of the heart hen things start to sour because of poor choices.

To really make things work you must accept the flaws of your partner as no one is perfect. Before you both met you were different people leading different lives and acceptance of silly, crazy and sometimes irritating things the other one does is all part of the process of the work in the state of the relationship.

Bar Advice. Do not be jealous when meeting their ex or when a person in previous relationship is mentioned. Before you became a couple other people were in your lives...remember that.

Sex All Around The House

Sex All Around The House - Book Review

We all need to spice up our lovemaking at one time or another. In fact, it's very important to the well being of your relationship! However, with so many lovemaking books out there, does Michael Webb's latest addition to his lovemaking collection size up and stand out from the crowd? Let's find out

The Oprah expert's latest book called “Sex All Around The House” takes a very different turn for ways to spice up your lovemaking. Rather than talking about positions, techniques and locations, this book focuses on how everyday household items, yes the ones already laying around your house, can be used to spice things up.

On first glance, I was a little hesitant of the idea of using things from the house. I wondered if this book could deliver. I mean how many could there possibly be? Ice, oils, candles? Come on! However, I was actually surprised by the amount of unique and wonderful things you can use, and I quote, “to get your partner's engine revving.”

Want to hear some more? Get frisky in a sleeping bag, fun and challenging! Wear nothing but an apron to cook a meal and surprise your partner. A great turn-on, especially for men. Play a sexy game using an MP3 player where you each have an earpiece and have to make love without it falling out - including changing positions and giving oral. Playable with or without sexy 'penalties.'

There was even one about wearing earplugs! Everyone knows you can heighten sound and touch by blindfolding, but almost no one thinks about trying earplugs to block out sound from your steamy passion. Nice idea to heighten touch and visual sense and create a totally new experience. I was also surprised to discover that some of these items can be used to make men last longer and even an item that makes some adventurous positions possible. Nice addition!

So as you can see, this book actually has some fantastic and exciting ideas you can use to spice up any lovemaking, no matter how fiery it already is. Best of all, because sex toys are so expensive, you'll save lots of money(and lots of embarrassment) by using the items you already have around the house. Were there any downsides? Yes. The book could have had a few more ideas, considering you won't like all of them(no one will like all of them) but there are definitely enough to keep you very happy.

Bar advice. All in all, this is a great resource that you'll wonder how you did without. Whether you want to add more fire, perform better in bed or just have more fun, you'll find many tips and ideas to make it happen. 

Social Network Sites

I am really thrown back at some of the people that join the social network sites, especially the women. I've seen on several sites, including Facebook, Hi 5, Tagged, My Space, Friendster and more, where they use the phrase "in a relationship" for their status. Some are provided as options on the site and some are typed in. Either way, it is loosely used.

Now why place that there and then start flirting with everyone? Some women even add sexy photos of themselves. Guys add photos of their body tattoos or abs and such. The fact that they state they are already in a relationship, and most probably are, then do everything that would piss off the person they are involved with who will be looking at their page as well, is just mind blowing. Best part, some encourage their partners by supporting the behaiviour as long as the status shows they are involved with someone.

Now a lot of conversations are posted on the sites for everyone to read, except personal messages of course, and when someone adds their view or states something inappropriate or just doesn't seem to fit into the other persons social circle; all hell can break loose. It seems everyone will jump on board to help criticize or pound the offender into the ground.

An example I saw would be where a girl uploaded a few photos of herself in a bikini. She looked great and her best "asset" was her fabulous breast and the cleavage. Now of course you'll get a few friends comment on them and that includes strangers that make semi decent ones as well. The thread was pretty long as she had a lot of friends(with assets like that who wouldn't), however, when one guy added a remark that he wish he could "bang" her, it became ugly. Suddenly one guy after another started to mention the guy's comment was inappropriate, not a nice thing to say, was an asshole, this and that. I'm sure you get the point.

Same thing similar happened also with a guy posting a pic of himself and comments that came in were good and bad. In his case other guys stated things like how he thought he was handsome, he was trying to attract another man's girlfriend and had no real substance and vulgarity became part of the whole thing. Even some girls added dislike to the guy and viciously voiced it in their comments. Oddly, a lot of them just weren't really interested in the string of comments but just threw their two cents worth to condemn the person.

Now the way I look at this is, firstly, it happens more so to singles that actual married people. So that tells me there are people looking for others and really trying to connect. Of course you have your perverts and hookers trying to see who, if they can, capitalize on any action. You also get some, actually plenty, of fake profiles but that doesn't stop them from making comments if they fancy or dislike someone. It seems people will say some weird stuff sometimes. Some want the attention and welcome everything and everybody just so they have a pile of friends that in real life falls short of how people truly perceive them.

I'm sure you've also seen things like this if you're in any of the social networks. Maybe you're one of the free for all condemning players as well. I think some guys tend to come to the "rescue" of the girls due to their own plan of trying to be Mr. Nice guy in the hopes of gaining favour in her eyes. They believe she will respond to them in a closer way, at least online for the start, and other possibilities in future. They also want other girls to see that they are a better person than others. This of course is the false front in their feeble attempt to become the "hero" in a situation where they are seen in a good light by everyone especially the girls.


Women also do this similarly but they are not as aggressive in their attempt but the ones that are not so good looking tend to make bolder statements in an attempt to shine more light on their intellect, conversational skills and trying to be more interesting so they can throw the guys scent off how their looks. In reality they are looking but modesty holds them back from really saying that the guy online is someone they will jump in the sack with, irregardless of their relationship status, but they can't and won't. Just leaving the thoughts of possibilities.

A lot of quarrels, squabbles and major break ups happen because of all this and everyone sees online and wants to be part of it, even if they make the problem happen in the first place. A lot of people are really to blame for the problem starting in the first place as a lot of them like the comments being made about themselves in photos and the flirting that takes place even though they know they are attached. Funny thing is, especially a for lot of girls when they do break up, will fully announce they are back looking, are free and available, back in the game, ready for a new beginning, on a fresh outlook at life and any other line they can think of to publicize their newly derived single status. Basically, they want the chase to begin again. Some sites, like Facebook, actually help make the announcement when you change anything on the page and that includes you status.

Bar Advice. Overall all these sites draw the good and the bad that happens in people's personal lives ......and we let it.

Returning With Love

I am returning with love and of course more advice to help others in need. It's been a while as I have been really busy doing affiliate and internet marketing. Doing business always takes a tole on people but I always say you have to leave time for some rest and relaxation.

But now I'm back to fill one gap of what I use to do and that's giving my two cents worth on relationship problems or any other issue that drives men and women crazy about each other or over each other. So the Unofficial Psychiatrist and Psychologist is back. The topic about returning with love is appropriate, not only for me and this blog but for a story of that nature.

I'll keep it brief as it's the first post in a long time. There's this girl I know who worked as a domestic helper and after her two years away working she returned home to find so many things changed at home. The son sold off crops from the field only to pocket some of the money for himself. The daughter asked for her to send money home at one point to buy medicine for her grandson but later it was discovered she wanted to buy a piece of jewelry that was on sale and a great price. Basically she lied about it as she thought the mother would refuse. 

Worse of all was this lady's own mother secretly sold of a portion of land that was left by her late father to her. Upon discovering all this, naturally being human, got really upset about this. Now here's the twist. She had won about twenty thousand from the local lottery just before returning home and wanted to share her winnings as a gift. Instead she bought back the land sold by her mother, bought her own jewelry and got her son to repaint the entire house with him buying the paint of course. Nobody argued and everyone was a little terrified for all their wrong doings. Except one. The grandson of her daughter.

This boy always made her laugh and smile when she called home. After three days of silence, beside speaking to the grandson only, she gathered everyone to a discussion. After venting a little anger still, she mentally stepped back and took a breath, then started a heart felt talk with them. She told them she was returning with love and joy only to find deceit and lies but although disappointed she forgave them, being a Christian, all because times are hard and the economy is bad. Plus, she added, she was blessed with a small fortune before her return and she showed them her bank account statement. They nearly fell to the floor.

She made them promise never to do all that again, gave them each a thousand and a week later returned to her work overseas. Till today, if any of them need anything, they ask. The story of their discussion at home is more in depth with religious aspects included but basically the message got through. Now she frets not about the home front especially the fact that her grandson will not learn such practices and pick it up from anyone at home. 

She divulged that she later sent more money home to buy additional land and added extension to the house. Looks like things are on the right track. So her story is ongoing and that is also going to be mine with this blog.

Bar advice. Sometimes even the people we think we know best can change. So, communicate constantly. 

Pause

I guess we all need a break so I'm in pause mode for now. Got some stuff to do, work to concentrate on and business to take care off. Will be back with more relationship issues, more advice and , YES!, more sex stuff to be included. Later!!

Bar advice. Wake up before it's too late!!


P.S. Use this travel site if you want to best Asian destination travel like me.

(Click image)



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Millionaire Society

Asking for help.

People often avoid asking for help for two reasons. Either they are embarrassed at needing assistance or they feel they can go it alone and succeed without others involvement. However, everyone needs help sometimes and knowing when, and how, to ask for it can save you time, headaches and a lot of emotional stress.

Whether it’s help to move house, start your new business or taking the kids for a weekend trip, the premise stays the same. Here are some tips to ask for help when you need it.

Release your need to be in control.

Often, we resist asking for help because we don’t want to loosen our grasp on the idea that we are in charge. As you release your need to be in control you realize that you can reach out for help when it is required and know when you can simply support yourself. Stop thinking that others will look down on you so you have to put this false front of being in control.

Let go of your negative feelings about seeking help.

As you let go, you discover that it is OK to ask for help, and it is OK to not ask for help; you feel like you have a choice and this makes it easier to do what is best for you. Why give energy to negative feelings or thoughts when you are in need of help. Use that energy to overcome the problem by asking for help. The faster you solve it the better you'll feel.

Talk about your problem directly.

You don’t need to make excuses or apologize. Simply explain the situation and the help you need. Sometimes simply allowing others to listen to you or be there for you is exactly what you need in the moment to break through emotionally or to solve a problem that has been plaguing you for a long time. People will have advice and maybe criticism about your problem but it's expected and normal when someone is about to help. They just have your interest at heart and don't want to see you in any, or the same, difficulties again.

For many people, the four letters are akin to a four-letter word, one that should never be uttered. HELP! Why do we have to shrug to open our mouth when in need? Most of us believe that we must be self-sufficient and that asking for help is somehow a sign of weakness or forces us to be vulnerable or dependent on others. This belief causes us to not reach out when we need to or when it is in our best interest.

Bar advice. The reason that there are others on this planet, is so we can help each other. We can't do it alone. Ask.

Letting go of past relationships

Just when you thought you were over it, you accidentally walk into the bar, club, restaurant, coffee shop or store where you once were together, in love. You were there together, before you had the talk about what you really wanted. Before the big fight. Before the reconciliation. Before the next big fight and then when you finally broke up for good.

Why do you wonder if you did the right thing? Why do you miss your ex? Why is closure so hard to close? As the saying goes, breaking up is hard to do. Letting go of past relationships and closure might be even harder to come by. Next time you face this dilemma, try these to finally let go.

Answers
What is really bugging you about the breakup? If you don't have some idea of what really happened to you, it's going to be a lot harder to move forward. Write out what this relationship was for you from the first day you met to the day you broke up. The universe supports loving relationships of equality. Was it an equal loving relationship? Did this person bring out the best (or worst) in you? Was this a sexual relationship, a fling or real attraction and love?

Advice
Ask the friends you trust, "What did you observe in my relationship?" Often the people who love us can see what we can't but they won't open up or give advice to you unless you ask. They don't want to hurt your feelings about your choice. It's so much easier to idealize the past than accept that your relationship had some real flaws that would have erupted over time. Sometimes the questions can be answered by meeting with your ex, but be careful! No sex with your ex or, you may be on different time lines of grief and it can be painful if it appears that your ex is "over it" and you're not. Your ex may also already be seeing someone else which may just make you feel like dog poop.

Reclaim Yourself
There's a reason that people sell the house when they get divorced. Shared space is intimate space. If your place looks like he just left for work ten minutes ago or her toothbrush is still hanging in the bathroom, you're wallowing. Buy new sheets. Paint, move furniture around or have a "newly single" house warming party. Your environment reflects your mind. If it's a shrine to a past relationship, how can you heal? It's not about denying your feelings. It's about letting your mind rest in your own home.

Forgiveness
Even if you can't forgive them, forgive yourself! Relationships don't fail. They change. You may not be ready to forgive your partner for any number of things (like cheating!), but you must forgive yourself. Letting go isn't possible without accepting and loving your own willingness to love. If you are waiting for your ex to say something you want to hear or just to return your DVDs, you're giving them power over your process. Stop empowering them over you. Forgiveness is hard but whether given to them or to yourself, you feed better energy than anger and feeling miserable.

Feelings
Resist the temptation to run out for a replacement person in the first few months. If someone told you their grandmother died, you wouldn't tell them to go out and get another grandma. You would give them all the time they needed to think about their relationship with their loved one and what it meant to them. The need to heal takes longer for some. Some put up false pretense of getting over someone quickly but they are hurting tremendously inside.

Grieving
Grieving is a process of going deeper into consciousness. Therefore, grieving the end of a relationship opens you up to a deeper experience in life. Pain is a necessary part of growth. Take a treasured object that represents your relationship and set it free. Perhaps you can donate a piece of jewelry you received to a charity, release a love letter or painting of you two into the ocean. By marking the end of this important person in your life, you are honoring the time you had together and you are honoring yourself for having the courage to love.

Bar advice. Letting go of past relationships only happens when you arrive at a place of rest and acceptance. It will come. Trust the process and experience your pain. It will conclude into clarity. It will lead to peace. Eventually.

Being Compatible

Sure, a lot of times opposites attract, in a big way! The push and pull of differences can create friction, heat and a whole lot of excitement in many relationships. Some of these connections last and many don't but for the most part, when it comes to finding a long term mate, the more you have in common, the less likely there is to be conflict. So that means you can also be attracted to someone more similar to yourself.

As humans, many of us find this really boring! Even still, no relationship is a walk in the park and it won't be smooth sailing all the way, no matter how similar you are. So, you might as well go for the fire. However, part of finding and keeping a mate means accepting and getting past differences and working on change when necessary. It's what you do share that will come to your rescue in challenging times. That's why it's important to identify common ground in every love connection.

It's the age old question of "How compatible are we?" Or, "what should I be looking for?" There are probably hundreds of answers to these questions, so here it's narrowed down to the top five main compatibility "musts" in a mate.

Social
How do you and your partner match up when it comes to socializing? Do you like to be with and meet new people? Do you talk to every person you possibly can at a party? Does spending time socializing energize you? It's fine if someone doesn't have quite the same passion for socializing as their partner but if the difference is extreme and if one person needs to stay home to rest and recoup constantly, while the other needs to go out or invite friends over multiple times a week to get their groove on, conflict may arise. You and your partner needn't do everything together but for optimum happiness, it's best to pick a partner who has similar social desires.

Sexual
Of course, without sexual chemistry most couples would never get together in the first place! By sexual it means early desires and later physical interaction. This initial attraction is the easy part but the nuts and bolts of making it work in bed for the long run is a much more complex affair. It's good to gauge your compatibility in this area by getting answers to certain questions. Are you matched in terms of your preferences and expectations? For instance, are you more dominant or submissive, expressive or inhibited, experimental or conservative? Is there a balance? How much foreplay do you like to give and receive? Is there a shared commitment to monogamy or is an open relationship acceptable? The answers will be different for everyone but they can be the biggest deal breakers in a relationship.

Financial
If you're planning on being with someone long term, know what their approach to money management is. To avoid unpleasant surprises, talk about it before taking any legally binding steps. How does each of you feel about credit? What's more important, spending or saving? Will you pool your money together or operate separately? Do both parties expect to earn an income and, if not, is one willing and capable of supporting the other? Do you love the person enough that money is not an issue between yourselves even if one lacks or has lesser of it?

Spiritual
Spiritual compatibility encompasses values, beliefs and behaviors. Whether or not you are a deeply spiritual or religious person, compatibility, or absolute acceptance and discussion of differences, in this area should be addressed as it could affect the long term development of a relationship. Is a shared religion and faith an important qualification for a mate? Can you talk openly to each other about spiritual topics? Does your partner have an accepting and warm response? Do you feel like you can support each other on a spiritual path? Is your partner willing to change for you?

Lifestyle
Thankfully, this is the area of compatibility that is often easiest to work through, but can also be the source of much conflict. Is your partner up all night while you're early to bed and early to rise? Things to consider include;
1) Your level of organization.
2) Your living space preferences? (big or small, style, decor).
3) Hobbies and pastimes.
4) Preferences for sports and exercise.
5) Vacationing or staying at home.
6) Are cultural events, art, music and dancing valued?
7) What level of political or religious involvement in the community is desired?
8) What obligations to family, relatives or friends is required?
9) Where do you see your life unfolding? (in the city, suburbs or country?).
10) Is charity and volunteer work part of your life?

A friend of mine, Anne Curtis, who is a celebrity and star in the Philippines was just chatting with me yesterday. She's always so bubbly and friendly but people don't get to see past her celeb status. Question is, does she even have the time to think about all the points highlighted above? Maybe the most important compatibility in her case would be the "spiritual" one. A religious bond perhaps that makes sense of the world she lives in and whoever she's in a relationship with. So count your blessings that you have more going for yourself.

Bar advice. The odds of you being compatible with someone is far greater than my friend Anne. However, my advice to all and someone like Anne is, never give up the belief you'll find the "one."

Stop Whining, Start Living

Stop Whining, Start Living gives readers stuck in their suffering the jump start they need to break out of reactive mode and get proactive, moving in the direction of a joyful, meaningful, happy, fulfilling, and purposeful future. Everyone can use a kick in the pants sometimes, and Dr.Laura Schlessinger, who "preaches, teaches, and nags" to millions every day on her radio program, is here to deliver it!

This book is not for people who want to embrace their problems. It’s for people who want to solve them and move on to a more productive and happy life. If you want to feel more in control of your situations in families, neighborhoods, jobs, etc., then you first have to look inside yourself and see what YOU are doing that you shouldn't be or what you are NOT doing that you should be! This is where the power to change everything comes in.

Bar advice. If your life seems stuck in an endless cycle of "nowhere" and you winne about a change, check out this Amazon book.

Infertility

I have a friend that got some news from her doctor last year that she could not bear children. It's one of those many cases of people that have this problem. Male infertility is also something that happens but mostly it's hit by the female gender probably because they are the child bearers.

Male infertility is becoming a more common topic when it comes to reproductive issues but female infertility is still the most often talked about concern. No matter how many 'how to' infertility books are out there, there are just some women that are unable to have a child without some assistance and that's when you need all the information you can get.

Some female infertility issues can be handled through natural means. There is some research indicating that acupuncture and infertility are linked. Studies are showing that having regular acupuncture treatments may improve the health of the body, which then can help infertility. This natural infertility treatment is becoming a much more popular first step in the fight to have a child in a natural way. Herbal remedy for infertility options also exist that can assist in making the body more 'willing' to have a pregnancy.

We may never be positive about what can cause infertility. There is recent speculation that the cause of female infertility might be as simple as having a weaker body that won't become pregnant because it feels like it can not support the full term pregnancy. Other infertility journals speculate that women might have trouble with conceiving because of other infertility problems - smoking, stress, improper diet, etc. Some infertility causes aren't as clear as changing a diet or trying to take better care of yourself.

One solution that comes up on many infertility forums a process in which one sperm is placed in to one egg outside of the body in order to create new life. These infertility services don't rely on the hope that one of many sperm will reach an egg but rather they make sure that the egg and sperm meet up and then it's up to the embryo to attach to the uterine wall. The cost of infertility treatment options like this is high but the chances of success seem to be much higher as well.

You might also want to consider drug infertility treatments in order to stimulate the body into ovulating, if this is the cause of the female infertility. Infertility drugs are highly successful when the treatment plan is followed and can even result in multiple births for some parents. The woman will need to inject herself with hormones in order to stimulate egg production and more eggs being released. And this can help to improve the chances of the egg and sperm finally meeting up to make a pregnancy.

While an infertility cure is never certain, female infertility does have many options that can be utilized. When you're trying to make the decision, it can help to do research on your own first to see what options are available before heading to your doctor for their opinion.

Bar advice. I'm no doctor but keeping a healthy positive mind is also beneficial. Also, prayer never hurts when wishing for kids.

Dating when you're older

Over the years, our priorities shift, careers expand, interests change, as does what we look for in a potential mate, and where we look for them. You may feel like all the good ones are taken, but hey, you're single so you've just disproved that theory! Yes it's different, yes it's scary and that's okay. So let's take a look at some dating strategies for thirty somethings.

In your thirties, you know how to make a list of qualities for your perfect partner (and even how to manifest them yourself) but you aren't really expecting them to land right at your feet, are you? You're more interested in quality (not quantity) when it comes to dating, so why not multitask by doing what you love to do in hopes of meeting a wonderful someone with similar interests to your own? Most of all have fun and don't look for the "one"! Be happy to simply meet new people and have different experiences. If you're enjoying yourself, others will take note. They will notice that you can be what they have been looking for as well.

Sure, you can join a yoga class or a interest group because that's what all the love coaches say to do but what about this? Try imagining where you might run into the person you'd most like to attract. You might be more likely to meet them at a work conference, on a vacation, or at a workshop, from comedy writing to wine tasting, or where you are truly in your element.

Going out to try and meet someone over a beer or margarita is always an option but as life gets busier and schedules become more hectic, you don't have all day to nurse a hangover. So look for healthier options like joining a running group, soccer team or the gym.

If you have a dog, start taking new walking routes, if you don't have a dog, borrow one. You'll meet plenty of people at dog parks or local walking spots. If the walking isn't good in your neighborhood, load up the pooch and drive to another area with cool coffee shops and pull up a seat outside (if it's warm enough). You'll be surprised how often a stranger will venture over to chat whether it be about your dog, your book or what you're eating. A friend of mine, Clarice, has a Rottweiler. If you need a guard dog fine, however, I suggest a more gentle breed for people to approach.

If you are a single parent, take your kids where other single parents might also be enriching the life of their child like museums, class trips or children's theater. Just be open and remember you're not a kid anymore, so be bold, and don't be afraid to ask any interesting prospects "How are you?" It's not as difficult as that. If response is poor with one person, simply move on. There's a lot of others out there.

There you are sitting in front of the TV again or searching online profiles (which is not to be discounted) but you could be mingling with real live adults right now. It's the weekend! Take yourself (and a friend) to bar, club, disco or an opening where mingling is always expected. Go out to see live music. It'll get your blood pumping and your feet moving and before you know it, you could be talking to another person whose feet are moving towards you! Go see a funny film. At least if you go home alone, you can laugh about it. The point is to get out, be seen and be active.

Gone are the days when you have to follow any other generation's dating rules. In fact, you're free to make your own rules. Basically, treat dating as an adventure and while you're at it, make an effort to look your best. Even if you're just running out to the grocery store or dropping your kids off at school. Remember, potential matches are everywhere!

Bar advice. It's never too late. There are others out there with lives unfulfilled with a partner. Dating when you're older is possible.