Teenage Girl Falls To Her Death

I was on Facebook when I can across the Yahoo news headline-Teenage girl falls to her death at Ang mo kio. The funny thing was, I had seen her profile before as friend of friends, but I didn't know her personally. She was a really sweet Japanese mixed Chinese girl. If you read the sad story of her suicide, as two notes were left behind, you will find it was due to a strained relationship with her boyfriend. 

Just by reading a few entries in her blog, I felt she was under pressure to be more successful in her studies and she personally  beat herself up about her failures. 

Reading more of her blog entries and that her boyfriend never liked being in photos with her and she asking if it was abnormal, says to me, the relationship seemed more one sided in the love department than meets the eye.

Any guy, in their right mind, would be proud to have this smiling beauty by their side and take as many photos she likes to post so others will know she's "taken". The yahoo news article reported she indicated in her Facebook post that most of their on/off relationship was mostly due to his controlling nature.


Let me address this. Being controlled in a relationship is like a slow disease growing that no one sees and even the one that has it happening to them, does nothing but hope it changes. Unfortunately, it mostly ends in either major heartache, pain, tears and rare tragedy, as in this case.


Being young in love, in lust, whatever, is a normal thing that happens all around the world but is it worth taking your own life to end a hurting heart? Especially when the person doing it to you just wants to make you feel worthless and small. Wake up! You are your own person. If someone else cannot appreciate you for who you are, why remain in the relationship? Obviously you got to check your own part in it all but your personality and character is what makes you unique and You! If the other has their own insecurities about their life and the relationship, then they are the ones with a problem.  


I felt sad when I looked at that cheerful face in the photo and read how Krystal Aki Mizoguchi  took her life for something that maybe she was too young to be able to handle or find advice. Her separated parents didn't help as a model of relationship success either. Perhaps even peers could not help as they too may have been in a seemingly similar dilemma or simply they were not able to give advice, let alone read the signs. Perhaps a really close friend may have know all about her worries, fears, pain and turmoil but as we all know by now...it's all too late. R.I.P Krystal!


Bar Advice. Learn from this you young people. Learn!

Social Network Sites

I am really thrown back at some of the people that join the social network sites, especially the women. I've seen on several sites, including Facebook, Hi 5, Tagged, My Space, Friendster and more, where they use the phrase "in a relationship" for their status. Some are provided as options on the site and some are typed in. Either way, it is loosely used.

Now why place that there and then start flirting with everyone? Some women even add sexy photos of themselves. Guys add photos of their body tattoos or abs and such. The fact that they state they are already in a relationship, and most probably are, then do everything that would piss off the person they are involved with who will be looking at their page as well, is just mind blowing. Best part, some encourage their partners by supporting the behaiviour as long as the status shows they are involved with someone.

Now a lot of conversations are posted on the sites for everyone to read, except personal messages of course, and when someone adds their view or states something inappropriate or just doesn't seem to fit into the other persons social circle; all hell can break loose. It seems everyone will jump on board to help criticize or pound the offender into the ground.

An example I saw would be where a girl uploaded a few photos of herself in a bikini. She looked great and her best "asset" was her fabulous breast and the cleavage. Now of course you'll get a few friends comment on them and that includes strangers that make semi decent ones as well. The thread was pretty long as she had a lot of friends(with assets like that who wouldn't), however, when one guy added a remark that he wish he could "bang" her, it became ugly. Suddenly one guy after another started to mention the guy's comment was inappropriate, not a nice thing to say, was an asshole, this and that. I'm sure you get the point.

Same thing similar happened also with a guy posting a pic of himself and comments that came in were good and bad. In his case other guys stated things like how he thought he was handsome, he was trying to attract another man's girlfriend and had no real substance and vulgarity became part of the whole thing. Even some girls added dislike to the guy and viciously voiced it in their comments. Oddly, a lot of them just weren't really interested in the string of comments but just threw their two cents worth to condemn the person.

Now the way I look at this is, firstly, it happens more so to singles that actual married people. So that tells me there are people looking for others and really trying to connect. Of course you have your perverts and hookers trying to see who, if they can, capitalize on any action. You also get some, actually plenty, of fake profiles but that doesn't stop them from making comments if they fancy or dislike someone. It seems people will say some weird stuff sometimes. Some want the attention and welcome everything and everybody just so they have a pile of friends that in real life falls short of how people truly perceive them.

I'm sure you've also seen things like this if you're in any of the social networks. Maybe you're one of the free for all condemning players as well. I think some guys tend to come to the "rescue" of the girls due to their own plan of trying to be Mr. Nice guy in the hopes of gaining favour in her eyes. They believe she will respond to them in a closer way, at least online for the start, and other possibilities in future. They also want other girls to see that they are a better person than others. This of course is the false front in their feeble attempt to become the "hero" in a situation where they are seen in a good light by everyone especially the girls.


Women also do this similarly but they are not as aggressive in their attempt but the ones that are not so good looking tend to make bolder statements in an attempt to shine more light on their intellect, conversational skills and trying to be more interesting so they can throw the guys scent off how their looks. In reality they are looking but modesty holds them back from really saying that the guy online is someone they will jump in the sack with, irregardless of their relationship status, but they can't and won't. Just leaving the thoughts of possibilities.

A lot of quarrels, squabbles and major break ups happen because of all this and everyone sees online and wants to be part of it, even if they make the problem happen in the first place. A lot of people are really to blame for the problem starting in the first place as a lot of them like the comments being made about themselves in photos and the flirting that takes place even though they know they are attached. Funny thing is, especially a for lot of girls when they do break up, will fully announce they are back looking, are free and available, back in the game, ready for a new beginning, on a fresh outlook at life and any other line they can think of to publicize their newly derived single status. Basically, they want the chase to begin again. Some sites, like Facebook, actually help make the announcement when you change anything on the page and that includes you status.

Bar Advice. Overall all these sites draw the good and the bad that happens in people's personal lives ......and we let it.