How to Turn Rejection Into Opportunity

You see, the thing about rejection is that it’s only a negative thing if you allow it to be. Sure, it feels lousy at first, but underneath that rejection is an opportunity that can change you for the better. What you feel and what you can do about it is two different things. So how to turn rejection into opportunity?

Ask for an Explanation. If you’re turned down for a job or a raise, calmly and coolly ask the rejecting person why. The reasons may have nothing to do with you (such as budget issues) or, if they do, you’ll be able to use this information to improve for next time. Resist Taking it Personally! It is important to realize that whatever someone says or does that appears to cause you pain is often, if not always, not personal. So if you’re feeling like the rejection is a personal affront to your character, let it go. Learning to let go is actually a simple process that is ingrained in all of us. However, most up us need to relearn the powerful act of letting go.

Let go of wanting to change what happened. If you’re wishing that you were the center of attention in your office, or envying the person who got your promotion, the colleague that dresses better, etc, you are only making matters worse. Let go of wanting to change what the others are doing or not doing, and allow yourself to let go of the feeling of being rejected. You cannot feel others rejecting you, you can only feel your rejecting them back. So let go of wanting to reject them back, and then notice how you relax and lose interest in what they think. You will also find that they begin treat you with much more love and respect.

Take back control. Being rejected can make you feel like a victim but you have been in control all along. The more you learn to let go of your hurt feelings, the more you will realize that only you have the power to determine how you feel. So rather than letting a rejection get you down, use the failure as a stepping stone to your future success.

Now lets look at the situation in a personal capacity when involved with someone. If you're trying to build a relationship with a person and they reject your offer of either getting together, going on a date or becoming more than friends, let it be. Don't let it chew you up inside. The world is made up of all sorts of people. You may not be their type. They may not like the way you look, dress or even talk. You don't expect to go up to Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt and they like you above all other persons, would you? If they rejected you, wouldn't you except it because they said so and move on? Sure you will. A celebrity, however, is no different than anyone else so why let it eat you up inside? If you can accept the rejection from a celeb(and I don't mean that they are any better) why not a normal person?

Shake it off and move on. People are sometimes hurt because the rejection comes a little later into knowing a person. They may have been going out for a while. They also could have been having sex. The rejection by one person may be due to indifference's about lifestyle issues or possibly their ideals of a spouse and partner. It's just one of those things where people find that it's not working out the way they like it to be. Maybe their "space" is being compromised. They may not be ready for a commitment or one is rushing the relationship and the other is feeling trapped. Whatever the rejection reason is one must respect the others decision. Take a bow and leave even with your head held high.

Bar advice. The rejection is sometimes lessons well learned. It makes a person better and brings tested feelings into light. Look into that light for better things to come.

Relationship advice by zodiac compatibility

The compatibility of someone in a relationship is something that we all want. Lots of people do follow with zodiac sign charts to find a mate. Sometimes you even got a nagging mother that tells you the "stars" can guide you to find your soul mate. Here's my relationship advice by zodiac compatibility. Maybe there's something or even nothing to all this but lets just see what sort of person you may be dealing with and what to expect in the mystical relationship.

Aquarius
This sign loves humanity as a whole, and first must love a friend before they become a partner. Independence and freedom loving, they are fully and completely loyal, once committed or married. They expect their partners to share the responsibilities of home and family as well as have common goals for the relationship.

Pisces
Love is the fuel that energizes Pisces into a lasting commitment. For Pisces, love, affection and romance are a package deal. These dreamy romantics need assurance that they are loved, and do not handle rejection from their partners very well. Pisces makes a very sensitive and understanding partner who will be loyal as long as the romance remains.

Aries
The thrill of the chase and the challenge of love as well as the passion of romance are on this possessive sign's priority list. In relationships Aries are demanding. They don't don't want to be controlled and it's important for them to feel that they come first. Aries expect fidelity and loyalty from their mates, and are more than willing to give the same. As long as the relationship is exciting and supportive, the union is bound to be strong.

Taurus
Taurus love is sensual and physical, devoted and steady. A Taurus will settle for no less than absolute loyalty, and likes a relationship that is stable and has a sense of routine. You won't find a Taurus spending time on frivolous affairs, instead they invest in long-term, long-haul relationships. When things get tough, a Taurus tends to be loyal to their commitments.

Gemini
Romantics in search of the perfect love or soul mate, their charismatic and flirty nature allows them to enjoy their affairs, until they believe they have found a supportive and faithful partner who loves to listen. When they do find love, its because these ultra sensitive types, have given the situation much thought.

Cancer
Happiest when they feel needed, Cancer loves to love, and be loved. They have a strong sense of family and tradition, and offer equally strong feelings of acceptance in return, especially when their partner is totally devoted. They can be emotional and sensitive to others or the other way around but it's the price you pay for having a partner who will go to extremes to never let you down. One of the better signs.



Leo
Drama is present in Leo-love. They will fight to the death to protect a loved one, and offer their undying support and loyalty. As long as their egos are fed a healthy diet of romance, praise and devotion, they will make sacrifices to make sure that the one they are committed to can depend on them for happiness and comfort.

Virgo
These sensible and practical people, take the same approach to love and commitment. While a Virgo may wait for years to find love, once they do, their partner tends to be the love of their life. Virgo love is warm and steady, committed and trustworthy. As long as Virgos are treated with care, honesty, and respect, you can expect a strong and steady union for life.

Libra
Love makes the Libra world go round. They thrive on love and romance, and will go to great lengths to avoid hurting the ones they love. Faithful and loyal, when they feel appreciated - Libras expect a partnership to be harmonious. They can be emotionally dependent on their partners, but ask for no more than they are willing to give freely.

Scorpio
Committed and in love, Scorpio can be intensely passionate - and intensely confusing. While they are very exciting, they have a way of hiding their emotions which can cause a bit of confusion. They expect faithfulness and loyalty, and they in return will be deeply connected to their partner. And when they feel secure, they may even let you in on their ever-present secrets.

Sagittarius
Love is an adventure to Sagittarius, and they prefer not to be tied down. Sagittarius needs a partner who can intellectually stimulate them, make them feel secure and keep things exciting. Sagittarius will commit to the right person, but that person has to be secure in knowing that freedom is Sagittarius' first love, and that must be respected for any commitment to be a lasting one.

Capricorn
Capricorn love is an inspiration. While they love deeply and fully, they may not be the most open expressing these details. Any commitments to a Capricorn are expected to be long-term and generally involve the promise of family. They expect loyalty and support from their partner, and prefer to be more dominant than passive in the relationship.

Bar advice. They say opposites attract. The truth is that's really the case in the zodiac love compatibility madness. It's complicated but their way makes people balanced in life.

Strained relationships

Laying the foundation in the beginning is the first step to a successful relationship. Foundations based on stability offer a rewarding, long-lasting relationship, while unstable foundations lead to break-ups. If you can sit down and talk through your problems, this is the best solution and it will save the couple's relationship. Talking is the mark of eliminating problems, while frustration comes from those who don't have the skills to communicate.

Incompatibility can lead to break-ups, thus weighing out your relationship carefully before beginning a relationship can prevent disaster. If you are already involved in a sour relationship, more than likely, you will need to evaluate the compatibilities. You do have the options of working through the incompatibilities or getting out.

Compatibility extends to family history. If you are suffering problems due to family quarrels, the ride gets strenuous. Families that tend to like the person their child is with, is less likely to give you problems. Strained relationships are painful when families butt into their business frequently. Many people who begin relationships and have been with their mate for sometime may find that neither party is compatible. The relationship can still work if the two of you communicate and comprise a plan that both can agree on. Read up about good relationships by buying books that offer a good strategy for the incompatible couples. This is because sometimes one side thinks the partner is not as compatible.

Many times people commit to relationships with the idea that they can change the other person later. This is not good. Either you like whom you meet, or you do not. No one can change another human being, the person must have the desire to change him or her self, and the first step to change is acceptance and then willingness to make the changes. Remember that this person, any person for that matter, is not going to have all the qualities that you desire. Does it mean they're not right for you? One should be sceptical of those who vow to change for you. Often the promises are not met or the person has hidden intentions that could be forced onto you later.

Working toward a strained free relationship is only possible if you're willing to tell yourself that it may not last. You're both discovering each others faults and finesse. The move toward having sex is not a good idea if the person or you, or even at the slightest hint, feels that it not the right time. There may the pressure that you place upon yourself to partake in the sexual act but that makes the physical body and the spiritual separated during intercourse. Does having sex mean that the relationship will be sealed, bonded and inseparably?

If you are a dreamer, you may look at your mate as a fantasy. This is not good either. You lose the benefits by not getting to know the person you have mated with or you wake up from your dream and find that you made a serious mistake. The main focus to keep in mind are communication, spending quality time, stay focused, and lay a good foundation for your relationship. Keep it honest and learn to trust one another with unselfish motives. Selfishness can lead to various problems, including adultery, murder, fornication, theft, and so forth. Thus, selfishness is one of the leading causes of break ups in relationships and marriage.

Sharing plays a large part in love and relationships. When two people share, they are giving something to the other that leaves a lasting feeling of joy and love. Do not count or take stock as to what you gave or did for your partner. It should be given or done without the need to receive anything in return. If both are on this same wave length, well guess what happens? Two people working together without selfishness often builds a relationship on solid ground and often endure through tribulations, sad moments and so forth. Relationships built on solid foundations rarely fall apart when trouble comes their way. Thus, enhance your strained relationship or get out!

Bar advice. Having your ideals is nice but sometimes the person least likely may just turn out to be the person that's really who you need in your life. Don't let your heart be blinded.

Advice about you and your money

Here's a look at what you're like with money in your zodiac characteristics. This may just be a non-scientific way of how you are with money but you'll see that eight out of ten people are just like this. So here's the advice about you and your money.

Aquarius
They tend to take an intelligent approach to the money that comes their way, always setting something aside for the unforeseen future. They don't appreciate money for money's sake, but they do enjoy the happiness it can bring to others. They are generous but conscientious. They care not about being rich or poor and their priority is to enjoy getting by.

Pisces
To Pisces, money comes and money goes. They tend to live simply, yet elegantly. When they have it, they spend it. When they don't, they won't. The Pisces nature doesn't allow them to become consumed with excess or lack, they just adjust to living within their means, whatever that may be.

Aries
For Aries, money represents freedom. And freedom is more important than the things that money can buy. Most Aries enjoy the challenge of making money and treat it like a game. When the mood hits them, they can be avid savers, sometimes crossing the line into being downright cheap. And yet they are capable of shopping sprees that can leave them seriously in the red.

Taurus
They love money. Taurus enjoys the smell of a crisp bill, the rattle of change in a jar. They love to watch balances grow and reinvest dividends received. A Taurus would much rather pay with cash, and if credit must be used, they are likely to pay the balance in full before the bill comes in. While a Taurus may not go without, they tend to think long and hard before they treat themselves to a well earned reward.

Gemini
Gemini's truest appreciation of money is the fact that it can be spent. Gemini likes to collect things. Objects, trinkets, clothing, and credit cards. The sheer act of spending gives Gemini pleasure, often more pleasure than the things that they buy. While a Gemini may not be able to figure out where their money went, they are certain more will come to take its place.

Cancer
They tend to look at money as security. As long as there is money in the bank, tomorrow will be okay. It doesn't matter how much or how little they have, a Cancer will find a way to save. Clipping coupons and bartering for a better deal is the Cancer way of life. A penny earned is a penny that they can bury in a Mason jar in the yard, just in case they ever need it.



Leo
Money in the hands of a Leo is sure to swiftly leave. What Leo wants, Leo gets, and as long as it is spent before it is entered in the checkbook, well, it never really existed. Leo believes that if they need more money, they'll make more money. More often than not, they are right. Leo's like money, but are way more appreciative of the elegance money can buy.

Virgo
They are the accountants of the celestial world. They have every receipt, impeccable records, and budgeting procedures that could correct the financial imbalances of the world. Virgo's tend to invest wisely, always planning for tomorrow. They will save for a vacation even if they have the cash in their pocket. While Virgo is driven by the need for financial security, wealth can be a happy side effect of their original goal.

Libra
Libra is funny when it comes to money. They definitely are gifted when it comes to handling finances, because they love living the good life filled with expensive things they buy to make themselves happy. Their love of luxury makes them excellent with a budget and investments that will pay off in the long run.

Scorpio
To Scorpio, money is power, and achieving power is their personal challenge. Scorpio people can stretch a dime as far as a dollar, and will sacrifice things on the monetary plane in order to achieve their goals. You can never judge a Scorpio's net worth by their appearance, they have the gift of looking as if they have a million bucks, even if their bank account is overdrawn.

Sagittarius
Sagittarius could honestly care less about money. It is only metal, paper or plastic. What matters to them are the experiences money allows them to have. Generous to a fault, a Sagittarius is prone to giving away their last dollar. They are just as likely to pay the rent as they are to rent a private jet to entertain their friends with that month's rent money. It simply depends on their mood.

Capricorn
They are blessed with the ability to make and multiply their money all the way to the bank. While they can be cheap and downright greedy, they can also reach deep into their pockets to help a friend in need. The biggest thrill to a Capricorn, when it comes to their funds, is just knowing they have them and that they're safe and sound.

Bar advice. This analysis doesn't take into account about your Chinese animal zodiac so it can mean that you are not as extreme as what is written here. We are after all individuals.

Relationship advice on what we want.

Why do we sabotage what we really want in our relationships? That's a great question and one we've been living with in our own lives and I'm sure that you've run across it from time to time.

There are many possible reasons why people unconsciously destroy something that's going well. One of the main ways is having the belief that you don't deserve the happiness, the praise, the passion, the good feelings and all that. There seems to be an imaginary ceiling that allows just so much happiness, success, passion or anything else that we say we want in our lives. Why should there be a cap on it? A relationship is giving but remember it's also receiving. Many people are afraid that their relationships won't last or they feel that he or she will leave them anyway so somehow, either consciously or unconsciously, they do something to push the other person away.

We see this a lot when there's fears. Why allow fears such as fear of abandonment either physically or emotionally, beliefs that keep us from having the great relationships and lives that are available to all of us? These fears are for the most part unconscious and we might not even be aware of them. Sometimes it may have been triggered because of failed relationships previously. It can also happen when we see our love ones or friends have bad relationship problems. While we are continually working on this within our own relationships, our partners support is important to ease doubts and fears.

The obvious thing would be to first identify your beliefs and fears that are holding you back from having the relationships and life that you want. What is it that you believe, even on a deep subconscious level? Once you've identified these beliefs and fears, then explore whether you are willing or not to allow them to keep you from having the relationships that you want. Are you willing to change those beliefs? Make a commitment to allow yourself to feel good and to have what you want. A belief is like a habit and if you don't like one that holds you back, you can change it. One at a time.

Understand that chaos and disruption in your life is normal and you should expect it when you challenge old ways of being and take on a new belief system especially one that is empowering. People may be used to you acting in a certain way and they might be uneasy when you begin to change. When or if your life feels overwhelming, take a moment, breathe and center yourself. If you do, you will find a calmness in your chaos and you'll be able to move forward from fear to joy.

In every relationship that you have, start being as conscious as possible in all ways. Consider whether your words and actions will build the relationship and take it higher or weaken and possibly destroy it. Take some time to figure out if and how you sabotage yourself from having the relationships and life that you want. If you do, your life will just get better. We sensible and reasonable with others as well. Your partner may not have the same fears or doubts and could see it as if you don't have the same interest as he or she does. This could cause relationship tensions. Clear the mind so you can be open to welcome the goodness of what is happening with you and your partner. Let there be bliss.

Bar advice. Communication with your partner is important so they understand you and not feel there is a problem in the relationship or themselves.

Topic Of Sex

I meet up with a total sexy stranger online yesterday. We started talking about all sorts of stuff from her work, which is modelling, to relationship advice, her outfits she wears at modeling shows, photo shoots and of course we headed to the topic of sex. She's half my age yet she was comfortable(being online) talking about those things but did get her a little shy at times when persisting for certain answers.

Anyway this is one hot babe who had all these great photos of herself and I could see them flashing on MSN messenger that we were chatting on. They just kept coming up one after another. A load of it and was either in sexy bikini, lingerie or car show outfits. There was even a Coppertone advertisement with two other girls in the sun. I was just blow away by her. Remember she can't see me as we weren't on cam.

As we got into all sorts of discussions, she revealed that she only ever had one boyfriend but he dumped here sometime after several occasions when they were intimate. She lost her virginity to him. Sadly, and it's more often than not, lots of guys do and say anything to get the girl. What comes after is immaterial to them. He went for it, he scored and now he cheers. Who cries after? It's always the girl. This girl was just seventeen at the time. She also included a story(after the boyfriend) about a masseuse that came over to massage her friends but she ended up having sex with him. She said to me, "I was really stupid back then."

As we kept going on about everything on the topic of sex, I started to realize that she wasn't all that bright about the matter. I asked if she knew or had done certain things and her answer was in the negative. That's when I felt that she was just pretending to be knowledgeable about things like intercourse, cunnilingus, fellatio, sexual positions and even a subject that she brought up. Anal sex!

I gave comments about the sexy pictures she had. She liked it and I told her which ones I thought were the best. She was really interested in hearing my opinion that after I told her I would have loved to have seen what her tits would have looked like, she took a digital shot of her tits to show me. She told to keep it to myself. When I saw it, and boy was it a good set, I was blown away. However, naughty me asked for another one saying that the shot was taken too quickly and blurred. She refused but after some coaxing she agreed. With all the sweet words I used, I got her to basically take off all her clothes and snap more. I finally got four but when I asked for a shot of her Virgina, she drew the line. More coaxing almost did the trick but it never materialized.

Her words about being "stupid" echoed in my head. I know she wasn't but a stranger just got to see her naked. The power of the Internet in real time. I felt she was just more curious then naive when I asked her, and she agreed, that she was not sure about her body and awarkward sensations she feels at times. She said parts of her was screaming for someone to really show her what it was like to be made love to as a woman. I of course volunteered myself. She declined at first, so should a young lady, but I reminded her that she had just let me see naked pictures of her. At this point I just want to add that she has one of the hottest looking bodies that I've seen in a long time especially breast with nipples that was howling at the moon. Not joking about it! Call me whatever you want but I couldn't pass up this beautiful creature after seeing her naked. Sorry I can't show her naked picture here for all to admire.

We were up to the point of me asking her for her address to "party" with her. She wanted me to describe the things I was going to do to her. I guess she must have also been turned on. Then, of all things, she asked if I was intending to bring someone along, have anal sex with her and even told me that I couldn't cum inside her but only in her mouth. How much more descriptive can you get? These were her little inklings not mine. As it got till morning she decided to give it more time and come back to the messenger chat another time so we could get to know each other better. Why not? I almost got an album at this point of time. I can't wait.

Bar advice. I keep telling people that sometimes you never know what to expect and here's the proof. Sure it's a little superficial but I had it handed to me on a silver platter . Will see how far I will be able to go with her.

What to do on the second date?

We seem to focus a lot on the "first dates". All the jitters and what it takes to make a good impression. What if you do? You're bound to be want a second date or more, otherwise what was it all for? This time, go pick her up. Preferably, try to get a little sexy love at the door to break the ice. At least give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. She’ll think you’re happy to see her. They usually let you, so go for it. It gets the guy a little confidence to move toward more physical contact later, if possible.

What to do on the second date? You can do whatever you want for the evening. Take her to a bar then dancing. Maybe you could also take her to a bar and then dinner if you want. Avoid movies at all cost, they tend to put you both to sleep. Movies are for dates when you are together for a long time and it's something you both want to watch. Not when trying to get a persons intention. You could also cook dinner for her at your house or plan a certain thing that you want to do together or show her. In any case if your goal is to get her back to your place, or hers if she wants, don’t wait until you are ready to go home. Instead, ask early. Give an indication that you want some private time with them. Maybe they may like to share a bottle of wine or just come over to hang out a little and relax in each others company.

Once on your turf, they can be putty in your hands. An advanced technique for guys(hope I'm not giving anything away) guaranteed to speed up your time is quite simple. After some time when you’re making out on the couch or wherever with a girl, try telling her(with a strait face) that you never sleep with a women unless you've been dating them for at least a month. Then shut up! Do anything else for a few minutes. This will process through her mind for a while and then she’ll become the aggressor. Women love a challenge. Nine out of ten times she’ll jump your bones that night. She will want to be that "special" someone that can manipulate your actions than any other woman.

Bar advice. Some women prefer to take you to their place or somewhere else because they may not be comfortable being in your domain with such a short time knowing you. At this stage of a relationship, follow her lead.

Advice on email flirting

Online dating gives you the opportunity to meet singles out there through the use of the Internet. However, you can also use another tool with people that you already know, or don't, and it's the email service. Emails that you exchange is a vital feature of online dating sites. Also for office or personal usage. Through emails, you could get to know more about someone or you could even flirt. An email can be very useful to flirt with anyone around who is an online junkie or is tied to the desk because of work. Here's advice from on how to effectively connect with anyone through email.

How can you effectively flirt using email? Flirting through emails is necessary at the beginning of your correspondence with single people. Flirting is the first step before you could meet face to face, unless you already know them, and that is what online dating subscribers, colleagues or friends are aiming for. Just like regular flirting, it all depends on your chemistry with the person. Even if you're bereft of body languages to use, with online chemistry, flirting may still fail.

Flirting is very crucial because most of the time, if not properly done, it sends misunderstood messages. One example is flirting using "about the past" messages. If you think that saying that you understand things like these because you experienced them beforehand, then you're wrong. This includes past girlfriends, relationships or break-ups. This will only make your online date uncomfortable. That's not a good way to flirt. Trying to flirt with someone in the office or some business contact will probably get you blocked.

You should also be careful about your grammar when flirting using emails. Women are easily turned off by men who don't know how to express themselves right in print. Men don't like having to read over what a woman has written as they already find it hard to understand them as it is. Wrong grammar and misspellings translate disasters. Like those cases where you interchange "your" with "you're"? Well make sure you proofread your messages before you actually send them. We're all busy and sometimes it's forgivable but we shouldn't have to try understanding what you write since it may already be hard just trying to understand you itself.

What you should do is write messages that stimulate the interest of your partner. One example is sending her humorous emails. You should use funny stories to your advantage but make sure not to go overboard. You should remember that you're actually flirting so insert harmless teases and ask them flirtatious questions to generate a response. There are a lot of people that like the online flirting emails especially if in the office because it gives them a chance to get away from routine. Also, just keep your emails short and simple. Long emails tend to bore people so just keep them light and readable. This way, your message will be clearly sent and not have the danger of being lost after the 100th paragraph. If you know what I mean. Do remember too that people have to work as well.

You could also try giving compliments through email. Show sincerity. This tells people that even though you are funny and playful, you also have a sensitive side. This will make them want to see you in person more. Sending an ecard can also add a touch of gift appreciation. It won't cost you any real money so why not? If you've been emailing someone at work, for example, than slowly make request about having some drinks after or maybe dinner. Even if things start to go well and you've become a couple, emails are like little reminders that you're thinking about that person. It's like you dropped by to say "hello". It shows your interest. The recipient will have a smile on their face.

Don't send out anyting on weekends. Why? Well, they'll think you're at home all the time. No real social life after work hours. May find it claustrophobic to have to answer emails all the time from you, including weekends. Only send something if it's like a surprise for the beginning of the work week or something you know they'll really like.

So there, my advice on email flirting is just make sure that your emails are short, funny and is free of any emotional anecdotes. Email flirting, like in actuality, still takes a lot of practice so don't be afraid to send messages and gauge the different reactions that you get. If you do it right, you'll be an expert at online flirting in no time.

Bar advice. Messenger services like Yahoo or MSN comes at a later stage. Remember that you can correct emails before you send it out but messenger service is in 'real time'. Don't make a mistake and say the wrong thing and blow your chances.