Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Chris Rock. View on love and relationships
This may be a little over the top and a little vulgar but really funny. Those that do not like the 'F' word, don't click it.
Bar advice. Sometimes we need to hear the stuff the way it should be told by Chris Rock. Sometimes humour tells it in a clearer way for us to see and hear what we really think.
Happily ever after
In fairy tales we have all heard the words, 'and they lived happily ever after'. well nobody really does, do they? Even the rich can't say that. Remember, more money more problems.
I have seen the pain people experience after the honeymoon is over, when they awaken realizing they have married a mere mortal. I hope people that enter adulthood, will avoid the pitfalls and pain of those who succumb to this "happily ever after" myth. here's a couple of key points for real lasting love.
1. Stop blaming. Start living.
It is our responsibility, and not our partner's, to feel better and to heal. Our partner will be responsible to us, but not for us. So it's useful, instead of blaming our partner, to ask ourselves these two questions, "Why did I draw this person into my life?” and “What is it that I need to learn from this?” Within a good marriage, we grow up.
2. Avoid the fixer-upper syndrome.
We think we can fix our partner and shape them into perfection. Our version of perfection. So many people marry for potential. Never marry potential. Marry for safety, the safety between two people who accept one another faults and all.
3. Make a promise to keep our integrity.
Do not hold onto victim hood like a prize. This doesn't allow us to grow. Work on behaviors that make our partner want to change by being kind and loving. Vent our feelings, without being out of control. If we are in a relationship that does not have mutual respect, over time we may need professional help. Preferably, we would seek that help with our partner.
4. Eliminate attack thoughts.
These types of thoughts are incredibly destructive over time. If we attack other people, ourselves and our thoughts, it really interferes with our happiness and peace of mind.Learn to find the joy, even in difficult times. As Mother Theresa once said, "Our best protection is a joyful heart."
5. Do not hold onto anger.
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. Turn attack thoughts into constructive thoughts and actions. Think thoughts that are appreciative of ourselves and our partner. And express those thoughts often. When we build an emotional bank account full of positive thoughts, we have positive emotional currency to counter with when angry times come.
6. Wake up, without makeup.
On soap operas I’ve seen women wake up first thing in the morning with all their makeup on, false eyelashes and all. That is not the real world. What women need to do for a successful marriage is to learn to be more and more real. What woman need to do for a successful marriage is learn to feel more and more safe to be who we truly are. Men have to realize that beauty is more than skin deep. If she can remove her make up in front of you then you are special to her.
7. Wake up and make up.
It is essential that couples learn to repair and heal after every fight. Find solutions. Do not get stuck rehashing the past. Live in the present, and find ways to keep the marriage buoyant and alive. Happy couples learn how to repair differences. Best thing really is try to never go to bed angry.
8. To change our relationship.
The place to start is with changing ourselves first. Better to reinvent ourselves, because we are not going to be able to change our partner. Learn to love in a mature way without trying to control or manipulate. C.S. Lewis once said, "To love without control or manipulation is to be surprised by joy." We will truly be surprised by joy when we can live in the moment with our partner. And within ourselves.
Bar advice. Remember that before you met your partner he or she had their own life, dreams, hopes, joy, sadness, shortcomings, downfalls, work, business, dilemmas, pains, loss of love ones, happiness, etc. what I'm getting at is you had the same as well. Now when two people are together they should work at it to have the feel of 'happily ever after'.
I have seen the pain people experience after the honeymoon is over, when they awaken realizing they have married a mere mortal. I hope people that enter adulthood, will avoid the pitfalls and pain of those who succumb to this "happily ever after" myth. here's a couple of key points for real lasting love.
1. Stop blaming. Start living.
It is our responsibility, and not our partner's, to feel better and to heal. Our partner will be responsible to us, but not for us. So it's useful, instead of blaming our partner, to ask ourselves these two questions, "Why did I draw this person into my life?” and “What is it that I need to learn from this?” Within a good marriage, we grow up.
2. Avoid the fixer-upper syndrome.
We think we can fix our partner and shape them into perfection. Our version of perfection. So many people marry for potential. Never marry potential. Marry for safety, the safety between two people who accept one another faults and all.
3. Make a promise to keep our integrity.
Do not hold onto victim hood like a prize. This doesn't allow us to grow. Work on behaviors that make our partner want to change by being kind and loving. Vent our feelings, without being out of control. If we are in a relationship that does not have mutual respect, over time we may need professional help. Preferably, we would seek that help with our partner.
4. Eliminate attack thoughts.
These types of thoughts are incredibly destructive over time. If we attack other people, ourselves and our thoughts, it really interferes with our happiness and peace of mind.Learn to find the joy, even in difficult times. As Mother Theresa once said, "Our best protection is a joyful heart."
5. Do not hold onto anger.
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. Turn attack thoughts into constructive thoughts and actions. Think thoughts that are appreciative of ourselves and our partner. And express those thoughts often. When we build an emotional bank account full of positive thoughts, we have positive emotional currency to counter with when angry times come.
6. Wake up, without makeup.
On soap operas I’ve seen women wake up first thing in the morning with all their makeup on, false eyelashes and all. That is not the real world. What women need to do for a successful marriage is to learn to be more and more real. What woman need to do for a successful marriage is learn to feel more and more safe to be who we truly are. Men have to realize that beauty is more than skin deep. If she can remove her make up in front of you then you are special to her.
7. Wake up and make up.
It is essential that couples learn to repair and heal after every fight. Find solutions. Do not get stuck rehashing the past. Live in the present, and find ways to keep the marriage buoyant and alive. Happy couples learn how to repair differences. Best thing really is try to never go to bed angry.
8. To change our relationship.
The place to start is with changing ourselves first. Better to reinvent ourselves, because we are not going to be able to change our partner. Learn to love in a mature way without trying to control or manipulate. C.S. Lewis once said, "To love without control or manipulation is to be surprised by joy." We will truly be surprised by joy when we can live in the moment with our partner. And within ourselves.
Bar advice. Remember that before you met your partner he or she had their own life, dreams, hopes, joy, sadness, shortcomings, downfalls, work, business, dilemmas, pains, loss of love ones, happiness, etc. what I'm getting at is you had the same as well. Now when two people are together they should work at it to have the feel of 'happily ever after'.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
感觉满意 Feeling satisfied
Aristotle once said happiness is the 'desire behind all other desires'. To feel happy is to feel fulfilled, content, at peace and utterly satisfied. And as it turns out, the majority, about 77 percent of us, are either extremely or somewhat happy with our lives in general.
Still, many of us strive to reach even a fair level of satisfaction in our lives, yet end up falling short and looking for more. For those still struggling to find contentment, what is the key to getting there?
Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not making money, it’s not going shopping, it’s not even enjoying a good meal. What it is is surrounding yourself with experiences that create what the relatively new field of positive psychology has coined as 'flow'.
Finding 'Flow' in Your Life, and Why You Need it to Feel Happy
'Flow' is the elated feeling you experience when you’ve just had a completely gratifying experience. According to the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center, “Engaging in an experience that produces ‘flow’ is so gratifying that people are willing to do it for its own sake, rather than for what they will get out of it. The activity is its own reward.”
This may sound rather abstract, but it’s not. There are very specific ways to reach the feeling of 'flow', and they include:
• Having a purpose: Engaging in a challenging activity that your skills are suited for
• Using your skills to pursue a clear goal
• Getting immediate feedback on progress toward the goal
• Maintaining clear markers of achievement toward your goal
In other words, engaging yourself in activities that are challenging, that give you purpose, and that you get positive feedback from (meaning you are successful at them) is key to feeling fulfilled.
When you think about this scenario, you realize that it can be applied to just about anything in your life. Career is the obvious one, but it also expands to your personal relationships, fitness level, self-fulfillment, organization, even planning a vacation or planting a garden.
In such an activity, concentration is fully engaged in the moment, self-awareness disappears, and sense of time is distorted, according to the Positive Psychology Center.
Finding Your Focus
To find the activities that will give you 'flow', or, perhaps to make it so that every activity you engage yourself in makes you feel satisfied, it is necessary to first release negative, self-sabotaging emotions. These feelings, such as fear, anger, guilt, anxiety or sadness, do nothing but hold us back, and you can only feel truly free to surround yourself with love, happiness, and peace when you let them go.
Letting go of negativity is much easier than it sounds but scientifically proven to help you release negative thoughts and behaviors and, in their place, create a solid, positive mental attitude.
Studies have also found that the following acts also contribute to feelings of satisfaction, elation and happiness.
• Express gratitude often
• Do good deeds for others
• Keep an optimistic attitude
• Use your strengths toward something of importance (such as tutoring, cleaning up the environment or volunteering at a charity)
Bar advice.To keep yourself feeling good and satisfeied with life at this moment. Help someone else. You'll see that what you give returns to you ten fold. Don't do it in anticipation of rewards but for bringing joy to others and in turn you will receive as well.
Still, many of us strive to reach even a fair level of satisfaction in our lives, yet end up falling short and looking for more. For those still struggling to find contentment, what is the key to getting there?
Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not making money, it’s not going shopping, it’s not even enjoying a good meal. What it is is surrounding yourself with experiences that create what the relatively new field of positive psychology has coined as 'flow'.
Finding 'Flow' in Your Life, and Why You Need it to Feel Happy
'Flow' is the elated feeling you experience when you’ve just had a completely gratifying experience. According to the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center, “Engaging in an experience that produces ‘flow’ is so gratifying that people are willing to do it for its own sake, rather than for what they will get out of it. The activity is its own reward.”
This may sound rather abstract, but it’s not. There are very specific ways to reach the feeling of 'flow', and they include:
• Having a purpose: Engaging in a challenging activity that your skills are suited for
• Using your skills to pursue a clear goal
• Getting immediate feedback on progress toward the goal
• Maintaining clear markers of achievement toward your goal
In other words, engaging yourself in activities that are challenging, that give you purpose, and that you get positive feedback from (meaning you are successful at them) is key to feeling fulfilled.
When you think about this scenario, you realize that it can be applied to just about anything in your life. Career is the obvious one, but it also expands to your personal relationships, fitness level, self-fulfillment, organization, even planning a vacation or planting a garden.
In such an activity, concentration is fully engaged in the moment, self-awareness disappears, and sense of time is distorted, according to the Positive Psychology Center.
Finding Your Focus
To find the activities that will give you 'flow', or, perhaps to make it so that every activity you engage yourself in makes you feel satisfied, it is necessary to first release negative, self-sabotaging emotions. These feelings, such as fear, anger, guilt, anxiety or sadness, do nothing but hold us back, and you can only feel truly free to surround yourself with love, happiness, and peace when you let them go.
Letting go of negativity is much easier than it sounds but scientifically proven to help you release negative thoughts and behaviors and, in their place, create a solid, positive mental attitude.
Studies have also found that the following acts also contribute to feelings of satisfaction, elation and happiness.
• Express gratitude often
• Do good deeds for others
• Keep an optimistic attitude
• Use your strengths toward something of importance (such as tutoring, cleaning up the environment or volunteering at a charity)
Bar advice.To keep yourself feeling good and satisfeied with life at this moment. Help someone else. You'll see that what you give returns to you ten fold. Don't do it in anticipation of rewards but for bringing joy to others and in turn you will receive as well.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Is life a test?
I rarely ever remember a dream. Even when I can remember what I was dreaming about when I have to get up for a drink or bathroom break in the middle of the night, I have forgotten all about it by morning.
However, last night I was dreaming about taking a test. I am not sure the subject of the test. I do remember feeling under pressure and I was struggling a bit with the content of the test.Now, I have taken my share of tests in the past and can recall having these types of dreams while in college; but, why now?I jotted down a few notes before going back to bed and did my best to decipher this brain spark this morning.I am into several projects right now in which I am under the microscope, so to speak. But, am I? Is this all in my head? Do I bring all this pressure on myself?
Probably.
I try to be the best I can be; mentally, physically, and financially. I try to learn as much as possible to improve my abilities in these areas. This is great as long as I don't spend so much time trying to improve me that it harms my life in these same areas; i.e. stress, family, friends, health, etc.
We all see the "burn-out" in the self-improvement entrepreneur; the sacrifices made in the "important things" in life such as relationships and peace of mind.Peace of mind should be a top priority for mental, physical, and financial success. Living life as some sort of constant test will hamper this process.Realizing that progress is a "you vs. you" phenomenon and that you don't have to please someone else on a day to day basis is a great start.
Bryan Tracy, in his audio series from Nightingale Conant entitled "Action Secrets for Personal Achievement," talks about the need for certain people to get the approval of others. He calls this a symptom of Type "A" behavior.
Here are some of the other type "A" symptoms:
Having a sense of urgency to do more and more in less and less time.
Volunteering for more and more work at the office.
Feeling under pressure to get activities accomplished.
Being obsessed with your performance and having high standards for such performance.
The type "A" personality feel like they have never done enough.
Compare self with others.
More concerned with things than with people.
Brings home work.
Talks about the boss, what the boss said, what the boss did… wants to please the boss at all times.
Has a sense of hostility towards those he or she feels to be competing against.
Type "A's" cannot admit that they are not in control.
If you fall into any of the above categories, making a decision to change may be a great first step. This decision involves trying to relax and still be productive and effective without the added stress we type "A's" like to impart.
There are two things that have worked in the past for me (and my clients) that I am going to focus on after this "wake–up call."One is a daily exercise plan. Even when I am on the road, I usually do some exercise daily, but, there are times I get in a rut and don't focus on my planning and execution of a said workout. A daily routine helps relieve stress and will bring out creativity and problem solving abilities like no other activity!It is a "reality check" for me as well. Things are brought into a better perspective after a good workout, no matter how long the workout is.
The second concept is practicing daily solitude. This could be a twenty minute walk, a power relaxation, almost nap, hanging out on a park bench, etc. This is a time to let your mind 'go' and let your subconscious work on goals, problems, and/or ideas that are filling your head. It's "mind-cleansing" if you will.This is a time when you just sit back and take in the world, usually outside in a fairly secluded place without interruptions. I sometimes think about a couple of goals or issues in my life ahead of time, then sit back and let my brain work on things.
I tend to find some answers to problems as well as some pretty great ideas to take back to work with me. They not only help me achieve goals, but relieve stress at the same time. These two activities alone have probably added years to my life and help me through some potentially stressful times.
Thus, the reason for my dream. I have been in situations recently in which I feel the need to "prove" myself. I am living my life as a series of test, daily. I have felt out of sorts, not myself, lacking confidence.All brought on by myself.
One other aspect of things is, what's going on at home and in your relationship. Be it if you're married, single or just with the people that are related to you in the same house. You have to add that part in as well to make it full circle otherwise you end up being a 'burn out' in life.
Bar advice. Remember to take time out for yourself. Health and happiness is more important than the other stuff that you may think you want. Money. What's the use of having it if you're too sick or dying to spend it? One last thing. Ask yourself,"Is there going to be anyone caring about the fact that I'm dead or alive"? Who will be around when it's your time to go or will anyone be bothered or even miss you at all?
However, last night I was dreaming about taking a test. I am not sure the subject of the test. I do remember feeling under pressure and I was struggling a bit with the content of the test.Now, I have taken my share of tests in the past and can recall having these types of dreams while in college; but, why now?I jotted down a few notes before going back to bed and did my best to decipher this brain spark this morning.I am into several projects right now in which I am under the microscope, so to speak. But, am I? Is this all in my head? Do I bring all this pressure on myself?
Probably.
I try to be the best I can be; mentally, physically, and financially. I try to learn as much as possible to improve my abilities in these areas. This is great as long as I don't spend so much time trying to improve me that it harms my life in these same areas; i.e. stress, family, friends, health, etc.
We all see the "burn-out" in the self-improvement entrepreneur; the sacrifices made in the "important things" in life such as relationships and peace of mind.Peace of mind should be a top priority for mental, physical, and financial success. Living life as some sort of constant test will hamper this process.Realizing that progress is a "you vs. you" phenomenon and that you don't have to please someone else on a day to day basis is a great start.
Bryan Tracy, in his audio series from Nightingale Conant entitled "Action Secrets for Personal Achievement," talks about the need for certain people to get the approval of others. He calls this a symptom of Type "A" behavior.
Here are some of the other type "A" symptoms:
Having a sense of urgency to do more and more in less and less time.
Volunteering for more and more work at the office.
Feeling under pressure to get activities accomplished.
Being obsessed with your performance and having high standards for such performance.
The type "A" personality feel like they have never done enough.
Compare self with others.
More concerned with things than with people.
Brings home work.
Talks about the boss, what the boss said, what the boss did… wants to please the boss at all times.
Has a sense of hostility towards those he or she feels to be competing against.
Type "A's" cannot admit that they are not in control.
If you fall into any of the above categories, making a decision to change may be a great first step. This decision involves trying to relax and still be productive and effective without the added stress we type "A's" like to impart.
There are two things that have worked in the past for me (and my clients) that I am going to focus on after this "wake–up call."One is a daily exercise plan. Even when I am on the road, I usually do some exercise daily, but, there are times I get in a rut and don't focus on my planning and execution of a said workout. A daily routine helps relieve stress and will bring out creativity and problem solving abilities like no other activity!It is a "reality check" for me as well. Things are brought into a better perspective after a good workout, no matter how long the workout is.
The second concept is practicing daily solitude. This could be a twenty minute walk, a power relaxation, almost nap, hanging out on a park bench, etc. This is a time to let your mind 'go' and let your subconscious work on goals, problems, and/or ideas that are filling your head. It's "mind-cleansing" if you will.This is a time when you just sit back and take in the world, usually outside in a fairly secluded place without interruptions. I sometimes think about a couple of goals or issues in my life ahead of time, then sit back and let my brain work on things.
I tend to find some answers to problems as well as some pretty great ideas to take back to work with me. They not only help me achieve goals, but relieve stress at the same time. These two activities alone have probably added years to my life and help me through some potentially stressful times.
Thus, the reason for my dream. I have been in situations recently in which I feel the need to "prove" myself. I am living my life as a series of test, daily. I have felt out of sorts, not myself, lacking confidence.All brought on by myself.
One other aspect of things is, what's going on at home and in your relationship. Be it if you're married, single or just with the people that are related to you in the same house. You have to add that part in as well to make it full circle otherwise you end up being a 'burn out' in life.
Bar advice. Remember to take time out for yourself. Health and happiness is more important than the other stuff that you may think you want. Money. What's the use of having it if you're too sick or dying to spend it? One last thing. Ask yourself,"Is there going to be anyone caring about the fact that I'm dead or alive"? Who will be around when it's your time to go or will anyone be bothered or even miss you at all?
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Adding some spice to what you got.
Life is made of many things that we either love or hate. All of us are busy trying to get as much as possible of the things we love and to avoid those we hate, Relationships, however, are among the rare things that are entirely up to us. Relationships can be wonderful or hateful. It’s the feeling between the partners, the experience and the chemistry that count. If you love the other and know enough about yourself and the world to avoid mistakes then you’ll have a fine relationship. If you and your partner are also satisfied with each other in bed, then heaven is one step away.
Exploration is one of the keys to the kingdom of love. You have to know how to do it and how to time it. Don’t leave it out of the relationship or it will go stale. Don’t rush it either or pretty soon there’ll be nothing left to explore. Wanting to know your partner inside out is fine, but don’t try to learn it all in the first three months. This is a process you can spread over a couple of years, leaving little secrets for future discoveries and preparing surprises for your partner.
The same goes for sex and its role in relationships. For some people, sex is the great catalyst that binds a relationship and makes it good. It’s the act that ends all fights and makes everything seem perfect for a while. For others, sex is a pleasant, but not overly so, pastime, a sort of bonus to the relationship. No chance of it being the main course here.
Regardless of what you want sex to be in the relationship, this act of physical pleasure should benefit from the passion to explore that we have discussed above. Many men and women who say sex is a modern obsession that should be given no more than its proper place in a relation have little idea of what sex could be. The combinations of moves and positions available for both foreplay and sex are practically unlimited and the pleasure of sustained exploration for things that could further enhance the experience for both partners is like buying a hot new car and finding a case full of money in the trunk.
Another thing, we know that searching for tips and tricks and hints may be a difficult business. Many people don’t have the time for this, especially in today’s busy world. A thorough knowledge of sexual techniques is ideal for men and women looking for the ultimate sensual experience and we could all use a guide or list of tips every once in a while. A lot of us have fantasies and fetishes that may or may not turn the other one on but you never know till it's discussed. if you're into one thing surely the other 'may' be possible. Communication is the key.
Bar advice.Whether you’re looking for the ancient Indian techniques described in the Kama Sutra, toys for sweet sex games or just some tips on how to convince your partner to go along with a fantasy, communication will bring more into the relationship than you can imagine.Start doing it today and you’ll be a better lover in no time at all.
Exploration is one of the keys to the kingdom of love. You have to know how to do it and how to time it. Don’t leave it out of the relationship or it will go stale. Don’t rush it either or pretty soon there’ll be nothing left to explore. Wanting to know your partner inside out is fine, but don’t try to learn it all in the first three months. This is a process you can spread over a couple of years, leaving little secrets for future discoveries and preparing surprises for your partner.
The same goes for sex and its role in relationships. For some people, sex is the great catalyst that binds a relationship and makes it good. It’s the act that ends all fights and makes everything seem perfect for a while. For others, sex is a pleasant, but not overly so, pastime, a sort of bonus to the relationship. No chance of it being the main course here.
Regardless of what you want sex to be in the relationship, this act of physical pleasure should benefit from the passion to explore that we have discussed above. Many men and women who say sex is a modern obsession that should be given no more than its proper place in a relation have little idea of what sex could be. The combinations of moves and positions available for both foreplay and sex are practically unlimited and the pleasure of sustained exploration for things that could further enhance the experience for both partners is like buying a hot new car and finding a case full of money in the trunk.
Another thing, we know that searching for tips and tricks and hints may be a difficult business. Many people don’t have the time for this, especially in today’s busy world. A thorough knowledge of sexual techniques is ideal for men and women looking for the ultimate sensual experience and we could all use a guide or list of tips every once in a while. A lot of us have fantasies and fetishes that may or may not turn the other one on but you never know till it's discussed. if you're into one thing surely the other 'may' be possible. Communication is the key.
Bar advice.Whether you’re looking for the ancient Indian techniques described in the Kama Sutra, toys for sweet sex games or just some tips on how to convince your partner to go along with a fantasy, communication will bring more into the relationship than you can imagine.Start doing it today and you’ll be a better lover in no time at all.
Friday, March 2, 2007
What's happening in the world today
I just thought that I should write about some things that are going on the world that we sometimes want to forget, not see or hear and sometimes ignore because we want to believe that the world and it's people are 'great'.
Well it's not. With all the advice that I have wrote, especially relationships, dating , love, sex and so on; where is the human relationships in the world?
The conflict that has been going on in places like Iraq, Israel, West bank, Gaza, Somalia, Darfor, Angola, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Mogadishu, Sri Lanka, and so on and we can't do anything about it. There is no much of bloodshed and despair on a daily basis in these places and the death of people is unreal. Where is the sense of humanity from all these people. There may be some conflicts that are justified but surely others are purely out of greed and power. It's the people and the country that suffers when this happens.
We got to remember that we may be living in places that do not see this sort of thing, with food and water available anytime we want and medical care as well so spare a thought for others. You never know if you'll ever be in that situation. Things can go wrong really quickly in this unforgiving world.
Hunger is also another issue. The honest truth is that there is enough food to feed the whole world but nobody will give it away. Money is what is needed and those places don't have any. Medication and hospitals are also scares. Work and business is almost zero. Women in Asia, India, Africa, South East Asia, South America have to become prostitutes to get money to feed their families and children. the fear of getting HIV or AIDS is way back of these women's heads because their thoughts are on the fact that if they don't make any money, their families and themselves will die anyway. The sad truth is, it's a fact.
Terrorism, especially after 911, has still continued. The acts that are carried out on the innocent, leaves their families in financial ruin, hardship and the loss of a family member brings sorrow to all. Everyday someone is buried from war, conflict, hunger, terrorism, lack of medical aid, diseases and so on but life still goes on in those places. We just see these things on TV or in the papers but they live it on a daily basis. Try and put yourself in that position. I bet you couldn't last a day without your air conditioning or Starbucks. How about that spa treatment? Spending money on wasteful things that doesn't do you any good.
The real important and big headache at this moment is the people that have Nuclear technology. We are faced with the fact that countries like North Korea, China, Pakistan and almost Iran have the ability to start someting that could trigger devastation for all mankind. If something like this was to ever happen it would be the doom of the planet and us.
Treasure the fact that you may not be one of those that face these difficulties. That your life, family, spouse, siblings, lover, wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, friends are with you. Those people don't.
Bar advice. Next time try and spare a thought for people that are suffering in those places when you're about to throw out that half eaten burger. Also, spare a prayer for them and for world peace. We need it now more then ever.
Well it's not. With all the advice that I have wrote, especially relationships, dating , love, sex and so on; where is the human relationships in the world?
The conflict that has been going on in places like Iraq, Israel, West bank, Gaza, Somalia, Darfor, Angola, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Mogadishu, Sri Lanka, and so on and we can't do anything about it. There is no much of bloodshed and despair on a daily basis in these places and the death of people is unreal. Where is the sense of humanity from all these people. There may be some conflicts that are justified but surely others are purely out of greed and power. It's the people and the country that suffers when this happens.
We got to remember that we may be living in places that do not see this sort of thing, with food and water available anytime we want and medical care as well so spare a thought for others. You never know if you'll ever be in that situation. Things can go wrong really quickly in this unforgiving world.
Hunger is also another issue. The honest truth is that there is enough food to feed the whole world but nobody will give it away. Money is what is needed and those places don't have any. Medication and hospitals are also scares. Work and business is almost zero. Women in Asia, India, Africa, South East Asia, South America have to become prostitutes to get money to feed their families and children. the fear of getting HIV or AIDS is way back of these women's heads because their thoughts are on the fact that if they don't make any money, their families and themselves will die anyway. The sad truth is, it's a fact.
Terrorism, especially after 911, has still continued. The acts that are carried out on the innocent, leaves their families in financial ruin, hardship and the loss of a family member brings sorrow to all. Everyday someone is buried from war, conflict, hunger, terrorism, lack of medical aid, diseases and so on but life still goes on in those places. We just see these things on TV or in the papers but they live it on a daily basis. Try and put yourself in that position. I bet you couldn't last a day without your air conditioning or Starbucks. How about that spa treatment? Spending money on wasteful things that doesn't do you any good.
The real important and big headache at this moment is the people that have Nuclear technology. We are faced with the fact that countries like North Korea, China, Pakistan and almost Iran have the ability to start someting that could trigger devastation for all mankind. If something like this was to ever happen it would be the doom of the planet and us.
Treasure the fact that you may not be one of those that face these difficulties. That your life, family, spouse, siblings, lover, wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, friends are with you. Those people don't.
Bar advice. Next time try and spare a thought for people that are suffering in those places when you're about to throw out that half eaten burger. Also, spare a prayer for them and for world peace. We need it now more then ever.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Meeting girls online
Lots of men often ask me if meeting women at the clubs or in public places isn’t gradually becoming obsolete in today’s modern society with the growing popularity of the Internet? My answer to that is: Has driving become obsolete since the growing popularity of aviation?
The truth is that the Internet serves it purpose to a certain degree. Is there really any method that you can compare which can have you meeting women from as close as the girl next door or as far as all four corners of the globe and all with a single click? Probably not. But just like everything else, the Internet as a method for meeting women has its advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly, there is no comparison to seeing a woman in the flesh who you admire and plotting the course to meeting her and ultimately becoming a part of her life. Of course this too can be done on the Internet; but one big difference. On the Internet, the woman is virtual. Over the past few months I have taken a look at a few of the sites out there which have crept up to fill this void which introduce men and women to each other and all the ones which I have seen all seem to serve their purpose to some effect. As a matter of fact, I have known people who have met their perfect matches on some of these sites and have even gone on to do the ultimate.
On the other hand I am all too familiar with people who have come away from the Internet experience so beaten, broke, frustrated and battered because they have been disappointed, disillusioned and let down, by such things as the photo collectors those e-women who only collect photographs of people they “meet” on the net or those women who supply fake photographs that bear no resemblance to who they actually look like. Then there are those who like Miss Haversham from the old novel “Great Expectations
” having been spurned and burned by relationships in the past they set out to trawl the net causing as much pain as possible to every man whom she happens to come across - and the Internet is full of these women.
In this age of political correctness and women’s liberation these women are more than likely wreaking vengeance on the spineless men of the net as vengeance for the absence of men approaching them. I have come to verify that experiences on the Internet aren’t too different for the women either. However, there’s one caveat for the fairer sex. The men that these ladies hope to and do attract are so desperate for attention and anything else on offer that they are willing to jump through every hoop which the women put in front of them so that they can have the chance to be with these women - and these hoops are in no short supply. Take this one for example, (and you need not be in Asia) asianfrindfinder. It may or may not be what you are after but it won't hurt to look.
These men are willing to pander (virtually and really) to these women’s’ every need, and numerous net-women have to practically fight these characters off with a stick. Some examples of this are like telling them such things as the kind of things they should do in the photographs and the style of photo that they should supply in order to obtain “special consideration.” Even though the ones that they themselves have on show are often generic. As well as cross-examining these men like a prosecutor to an accused – all to eventually declare a mistrial. For this, special consideration, these men are rewarded by the women in due course neither showing up for meetings, nor returning email and calls and similar things, and maybe some verbal abuse, if they are lucky.
Some of the women seem like the perfect person who you really would want to meet and introduce to mother but then you realize that you have been more or less automatically eliminated as soon you read the profile. Now that’s honesty but then what are you supposed to do? Run away with your tail between your legs or stick around, call the bluff, face the challenge and try to convince her otherwise? Let's suppose you do and in the most unlikely event convince her, what about the fundamental point that never would have worked in the first place. Then there are the ones that you never hear from and those that are the high-quality ones. I know a friend of mine whose phone was always ringing off the hook with calls from these women but he met few of them and has never got past first base as he would wish with any of them. We figured out it was because he was giving these women too much “special consideration” on his web space and profile. After he ceased that desperate practice it all started to change.
Look, the Internet can be and is a fun place to meet women, and it seems like this will remain so for quite some time, however it is helpful not to take the women who you meet there too seriously, that is until you personally get to know them. Try friendfinder. This helps in any part of the world where you can meet women. Additionally the odds are and can be stacked in your favor away from the offline modem if done right.
Bar advice. One thing that men must remember is that on the Internet it is easy for any man to “approach” any woman and tell her anything. But it takes a special man to actually approach a woman in person.
The truth is that the Internet serves it purpose to a certain degree. Is there really any method that you can compare which can have you meeting women from as close as the girl next door or as far as all four corners of the globe and all with a single click? Probably not. But just like everything else, the Internet as a method for meeting women has its advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly, there is no comparison to seeing a woman in the flesh who you admire and plotting the course to meeting her and ultimately becoming a part of her life. Of course this too can be done on the Internet; but one big difference. On the Internet, the woman is virtual. Over the past few months I have taken a look at a few of the sites out there which have crept up to fill this void which introduce men and women to each other and all the ones which I have seen all seem to serve their purpose to some effect. As a matter of fact, I have known people who have met their perfect matches on some of these sites and have even gone on to do the ultimate.
On the other hand I am all too familiar with people who have come away from the Internet experience so beaten, broke, frustrated and battered because they have been disappointed, disillusioned and let down, by such things as the photo collectors those e-women who only collect photographs of people they “meet” on the net or those women who supply fake photographs that bear no resemblance to who they actually look like. Then there are those who like Miss Haversham from the old novel “Great Expectations
” having been spurned and burned by relationships in the past they set out to trawl the net causing as much pain as possible to every man whom she happens to come across - and the Internet is full of these women.In this age of political correctness and women’s liberation these women are more than likely wreaking vengeance on the spineless men of the net as vengeance for the absence of men approaching them. I have come to verify that experiences on the Internet aren’t too different for the women either. However, there’s one caveat for the fairer sex. The men that these ladies hope to and do attract are so desperate for attention and anything else on offer that they are willing to jump through every hoop which the women put in front of them so that they can have the chance to be with these women - and these hoops are in no short supply. Take this one for example, (and you need not be in Asia) asianfrindfinder. It may or may not be what you are after but it won't hurt to look.
These men are willing to pander (virtually and really) to these women’s’ every need, and numerous net-women have to practically fight these characters off with a stick. Some examples of this are like telling them such things as the kind of things they should do in the photographs and the style of photo that they should supply in order to obtain “special consideration.” Even though the ones that they themselves have on show are often generic. As well as cross-examining these men like a prosecutor to an accused – all to eventually declare a mistrial. For this, special consideration, these men are rewarded by the women in due course neither showing up for meetings, nor returning email and calls and similar things, and maybe some verbal abuse, if they are lucky.
Some of the women seem like the perfect person who you really would want to meet and introduce to mother but then you realize that you have been more or less automatically eliminated as soon you read the profile. Now that’s honesty but then what are you supposed to do? Run away with your tail between your legs or stick around, call the bluff, face the challenge and try to convince her otherwise? Let's suppose you do and in the most unlikely event convince her, what about the fundamental point that never would have worked in the first place. Then there are the ones that you never hear from and those that are the high-quality ones. I know a friend of mine whose phone was always ringing off the hook with calls from these women but he met few of them and has never got past first base as he would wish with any of them. We figured out it was because he was giving these women too much “special consideration” on his web space and profile. After he ceased that desperate practice it all started to change.
Look, the Internet can be and is a fun place to meet women, and it seems like this will remain so for quite some time, however it is helpful not to take the women who you meet there too seriously, that is until you personally get to know them. Try friendfinder. This helps in any part of the world where you can meet women. Additionally the odds are and can be stacked in your favor away from the offline modem if done right.
Bar advice. One thing that men must remember is that on the Internet it is easy for any man to “approach” any woman and tell her anything. But it takes a special man to actually approach a woman in person.
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