The formula that many girls use to control guys

What is this formula? Lets look at some of what girls do and why. Meet the behaviorist.With these "behaviorist" type girls, I'm about to explain about, it's a constant manipulation that never ends until they get bored or you get wise. By the way, if I sound too harsh with all of this revenge talk, don't worry. One of two things will happen when you learn the secret to pulling yourself out of the "behaviorists" clutches.

When she misses out on a nice guy like you either she'll find another chump(or several more) to replace you or maybe she'll realize that she wants to drop the BS and hey, maybe she just missed out on something great(you) and she better shape up before she misses out again. The ironic thing here is that guys and girls can be behaviorists. Lets see what I mean.

"Behaviorists" more often than not learned how manipulation works inside and out by gaming their fathers( mothers for guys) for attention. How can you tell if she's a behaviorist type girl? It's actually pretty simple. Though you do need a little bit of information about her to figure it out. Here's the test.

If a girl seems to like you, find out why(do this directly by asking and also indirectly by noticing clues). There are two kinds of "answers" that she can give. Here's the test.

Answer for girl type #1. "The way you *behave* makes me happy."
Examples of this would be. "You gave me one of the happiest days of my life, I spend time with you, that should tell you how I feel about you, because new years was so much fun, because I like the way you look and dress."

Answer for girl type #2. "I admire certain qualities about you."
Examples would be, "Because you're intelligent, because you're kind and I feel safe around you, because I find you're good looking, because you're so respectful of people, because you're a good man."

Now lets do the self test. Have you already guessed which girl type you should turn tail and run as soon as you identify? Before I tell you, let me give you a little bit of the psychology behind what's going on here, and maybe if you don't already have it, you'll get it before I spill the beans. Now, with the second type of girl, the quality girl, her motivation is going to be to encourage you to become smarter, kinder, more respectful and all around better in your qualities as a person. The first type, the behaviorist, that we're warning you about is motivated to direct your energies towards getting you to behave in the way that she likes. She operates on a reward/punishment type of plan with you. A girl who likes you for your qualities doesn't need to reward and punish you, but a girl who likes you for your behavior will think that she does. Yes, the first kind of girl in the example above is the type of girl to drop like a hot potato. As for the second, please don't tell me you can't figure it out.

Now, if these behaviorist type girls are made out as vampires, then where are their fangs? Empty promises of future value. With the behaviorist type girl the manipulation will almost always center around the hope that she'll follow through on some promise, spoken or implied. Really, that's how almost any con artist works, if you think about it. That doesn't mean she'll break every promise. Heck, you might even get sex sometimes but the pattern will be one of lies and half truths with a trail of broken promises.Here's an example from online dating.

The biggest trap when it comes to online dating is the virtual relationship. These can go on and on and they center around behaviorist type girls bilking you for what they want. A good buddy to chat with and the possibility of more but only if she wants it. There's always the promise that you'll get together and perhaps even a great degree of virtual intimacy but there's no payoff at least not one worth your time. It may not be all online dating site with girls like this but because there's so many it's hard to tell who is the 'real deal'.

Bottom line. Cut the behaviorist totally out of your life, including out of your thoughts and you will be way happier. Plus, then you'll actually be ready when the 'real-deal' girl comes by. This may sound like crazy advice for anybody else listening including but what you end up with in a behaviorist is a girl who doesn't love you at all. She just "loves" when you behave the way she likes. Once her premise is that of your behavior and not your personal qualities, are what makes her happy, then there's really nowhere else for her to turn but to conditioning your behavior.

When you identify a behaviorist, don't try to "beat" them or "get" them back, or find some value in them. Instead move pass. Don't hesitate and waste time. If another girl was already in your bed, you wouldn't care about the behaviorist, right? So, realize that right now, and forget about behaviorists immediately. You don't have to wait until you replace them. Besides, you'll be a lot more successful in finding the right replacement if your mind isn't all clouded with the wrong one.

Lastly. "Quality women" aren't at fault for the existence of so many behaviorist women that suck your life dry. As a matter of fact, they are probably more frustrated by the behaviorist women than you are. After all, it's not the quality girl's fault that she doesn't make the wild promises that a behaviorist will make. Which puts a genuine girl at a disadvantage unless you know how to appreciate that they are better for you. This is the formula that many girls use to control guys. Sad to say it but it's true but I know there's a lot of good women out there too. However, at least you guys are armed with some knoweledge.

Bar advice. Here's how I see it. A "7" who likes you for your qualities is really a "10" while a "10" who wants to control you is a "0"

Women's psychology

I'm going to dabble into some women's psychology that most men either don't know or dont get. Now, most guys don’t worry too much about their reputation but for women, reputation is very important. Most women won’t do something if it might make them look easy in front of their friends. Their modesty as a lady must also be in tact.

The good news is, when they’re alone, most women are up for much the same kind of stuff that men are up for. Sometimes though, you need to wait until the friends aren’t around to see both sides of a woman. Relationships that we see television, it always works like this, shows women are dying for relationships and guys are afraid to commit. Well guess what? It’s the opposite. In the vast majority of situations, it is guys who scare women away by being too clingy. For 90% of women (under 30), the only kind of commitment they want from you is a commitment to hang out with them again, call them in the morning and not be a complete dick.

It goes without saying, guys often feel this need to talk things out and explain things logically that often is awkward and lame to women. For example, guys feel compelled to say things like "I like you", when the smooth thing to do would be to just kiss her. If you did, chances are she already knows it. If she’s still hanging out with you, she probably likes you too. Dummy!

Another good example of this is the "relationship talk". You know the talk, sometimes it happens before sex, sometimes it happens after, but you’re sitting in bed with a girl and you feel compelled to put your cards on the table. You tell her you really like her but you want her to know that you're not really interested in an exclusive relationship at present. Even worse, “I want to sleep with other women”. This is not the way. Seeing and being with other people is alright but give a little respect to the one that's also with you. She may also be doing the same with other guys but she'll keep that to herself. In part to do with her modesty as well.

Most women don’t really care that much about what you do when they’re not around, unless you’ve explicitly boxed yourself into the boyfriend role. Don't hint that you're being monogamous with any women you're seeing and they'll never ask if you're sleeping with other women. Don’t ask, don’t tell is the best policy. It’s not dishonesty . Always answer any question truthfully, and never deliberately mislead a woman. It’s simply the fact that emotionally, women don’t really care what you do when they’re not around, as long as you’re good to them when you’re together. If you're the boyfriend it's a different game. Being single and unattached is what's going on in her mind as well but you just haven't got it yet.

Bar advice. A huge thing to remember about women, and here's a little relationship advice, they hate being played in games and especially liars. You'll be forever black listed and even all her friends will know. Don't do it.

Women love sex just as much as men do

Let me share some insights into the psychology and biology of women with you today. Insights that will really help you guys. The title almost says it all. Women love sex just as much as men do. I might have to convince you of this and explain how you guys can use it to your advantage.

You might find it hard to believe that women love sex as much as men do. If that were true, you might be asking why isn't it easier to get women to go to bed with you, right? If it were not for some elusive facts of biology, it really would be easy, but it's not. When women go up to men and say something along the lines of "Hi, I like you, would you like to sleep with me?" something like 99% of the men will say yes. However, when the roles were reversed, women will probably say no when men ask the same question. The reason is that women are essentially genetically programmed to be really picky about who they have sex with. It is all a supply and demand equation, because women only have a limited supply of chances to reproduce, most women can't have more than say ten children in their lives, and the act of childbirth could kill them too, so you can add 'evolved fear' into the low supply problem.

If that wasn't enough, there are a lot of social consequences that women have to deal with when they have sex with men. They can get labeled as sluts, whores, cheap or easy for having sex with more than one guy. By contrast, as men we can pretty much have hundreds of children if given the chance. Our "supply" of reproduction capability is just about limitless compared to that of women. Having sex with lots of women usually gets guys labeled as studs, top dog and so on, at least with male friends. So you put all this together and you can understand why women are picky and almost seem like they don't like or want sex as much as men do. In reality they do.

The main difference is that men want more partners(quantity), women want better 'quality' partners. OK, so you understand this now, lets really reinforce this idea that women like sex just as much as men do. This is also due to evolution. Both sexes are rewarded with lots of pleasure for sex, its one way that our genes have programmed us to help pass themselves along to the next generation. In fact, I would say that women can get more pleasure out of sex than men. I mean, come on, which sex can have more fun with a showerhead or vibrator? Also, which sex can have multiple, prolonged orgasms, and sometimes they just need another female to get this? These are all things I have witnessed personally in my life and as such I have no doubt that, done properly, sex causes more overall pleasure for women. Scientifically it also prolongs lifespans of people. Women especially.

Women want(keyword) sex just as much as men. So now that you have this fact in mind, how do you use it? The answer is simple, you constantly have the attitude in mind that women want sex just as much or more than men do and in every interaction that you have with them, you keep this in mind. (Please don't go thinking about it in a perverted manner.) Also, keep in mind that a women has to preserve her modesty. Her mother thought her to be a lady and not go with any boy because they just want one thing. We know what that is but actually she wants it too but she'll only give it to you if you are worthy of her. Sp you see, it is simple, but it has really powerful effects. It makes the balance of power more equal in all your interactions with women. Let's look at how this works.

I can remember when I didn't understand how much women love and want sex, and so I used to always think that I was trying to get them to do something they didn't want to do as much as I did. What happens when somebody wants something more than the other person? They are willing to go to much effort to get it. In the case of women, it gets worse if you act like this and put in too much effort, because they then assume on some level that you don't get much of it either(otherwise why would you be trying so hard?), and by extension that there must be some reason for that, like something is wrong with you on some level. Which makes them withhold sex from you more, which makes you try harder, which makes them withhold even more, and what you end up with is a permanent case of blue balls. When you take the frame one step further and understand and believe that women want and love sex more than men do, then you can amazingly flip the roles in the above situation.

Your actions indicate to her that you know she wants you more. You interpret her actions as her wanting you too much, and you pull away a bit. She sees this and thinks on a deeper level that you must have a lot of options with women, so she chases you a bit more, you retreat, she pursues harder, and you eventually succumb since that was your plan all along. Of course, there is a lot more to learn about exactly how to reverse this role with women, and it is a big part of what you need to understand about this method. The simple take away for today is that you need to understand and believe that women want sex as much or more than men do.

Be sure to never force the issue. Women are very delicate creatures and a lot of them need refined tenderness and thoughtfullness. I know of some women that can be a wild tigeress in bed but she puts on the facade of a pussycat to see wheather you are worthy of herself and why you are deserving to be with her. She wants it but she likes to tease and when she, and only she, is willing she'll let you have it.

Bar advice. I'm sure the women reading this will agree with me a huge amount but it's just help for some of the guys that "don't get it".

感觉满意 Feeling satisfied

Aristotle once said happiness is the 'desire behind all other desires'. To feel happy is to feel fulfilled, content, at peace and utterly satisfied. And as it turns out, the majority, about 77 percent of us, are either extremely or somewhat happy with our lives in general.

Still, many of us strive to reach even a fair level of satisfaction in our lives, yet end up falling short and looking for more. For those still struggling to find contentment, what is the key to getting there?

Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not making money, it’s not going shopping, it’s not even enjoying a good meal. What it is is surrounding yourself with experiences that create what the relatively new field of positive psychology has coined as 'flow'.

Finding 'Flow' in Your Life, and Why You Need it to Feel Happy

'Flow' is the elated feeling you experience when you’ve just had a completely gratifying experience. According to the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center, “Engaging in an experience that produces ‘flow’ is so gratifying that people are willing to do it for its own sake, rather than for what they will get out of it. The activity is its own reward.”

This may sound rather abstract, but it’s not. There are very specific ways to reach the feeling of 'flow', and they include:

• Having a purpose: Engaging in a challenging activity that your skills are suited for
• Using your skills to pursue a clear goal
• Getting immediate feedback on progress toward the goal
• Maintaining clear markers of achievement toward your goal

In other words, engaging yourself in activities that are challenging, that give you purpose, and that you get positive feedback from (meaning you are successful at them) is key to feeling fulfilled.

When you think about this scenario, you realize that it can be applied to just about anything in your life. Career is the obvious one, but it also expands to your personal relationships, fitness level, self-fulfillment, organization, even planning a vacation or planting a garden.

In such an activity, concentration is fully engaged in the moment, self-awareness disappears, and sense of time is distorted, according to the Positive Psychology Center.

Finding Your Focus

To find the activities that will give you 'flow', or, perhaps to make it so that every activity you engage yourself in makes you feel satisfied, it is necessary to first release negative, self-sabotaging emotions. These feelings, such as fear, anger, guilt, anxiety or sadness, do nothing but hold us back, and you can only feel truly free to surround yourself with love, happiness, and peace when you let them go.

Letting go of negativity is much easier than it sounds but scientifically proven to help you release negative thoughts and behaviors and, in their place, create a solid, positive mental attitude.

Studies have also found that the following acts also contribute to feelings of satisfaction, elation and happiness.

• Express gratitude often
• Do good deeds for others
• Keep an optimistic attitude
• Use your strengths toward something of importance (such as tutoring, cleaning up the environment or volunteering at a charity)

Bar advice.To keep yourself feeling good and satisfeied with life at this moment. Help someone else. You'll see that what you give returns to you ten fold. Don't do it in anticipation of rewards but for bringing joy to others and in turn you will receive as well.