Women's psychology

I'm going to dabble into some women's psychology that most men either don't know or dont get. Now, most guys don’t worry too much about their reputation but for women, reputation is very important. Most women won’t do something if it might make them look easy in front of their friends. Their modesty as a lady must also be in tact.

The good news is, when they’re alone, most women are up for much the same kind of stuff that men are up for. Sometimes though, you need to wait until the friends aren’t around to see both sides of a woman. Relationships that we see television, it always works like this, shows women are dying for relationships and guys are afraid to commit. Well guess what? It’s the opposite. In the vast majority of situations, it is guys who scare women away by being too clingy. For 90% of women (under 30), the only kind of commitment they want from you is a commitment to hang out with them again, call them in the morning and not be a complete dick.

It goes without saying, guys often feel this need to talk things out and explain things logically that often is awkward and lame to women. For example, guys feel compelled to say things like "I like you", when the smooth thing to do would be to just kiss her. If you did, chances are she already knows it. If she’s still hanging out with you, she probably likes you too. Dummy!

Another good example of this is the "relationship talk". You know the talk, sometimes it happens before sex, sometimes it happens after, but you’re sitting in bed with a girl and you feel compelled to put your cards on the table. You tell her you really like her but you want her to know that you're not really interested in an exclusive relationship at present. Even worse, “I want to sleep with other women”. This is not the way. Seeing and being with other people is alright but give a little respect to the one that's also with you. She may also be doing the same with other guys but she'll keep that to herself. In part to do with her modesty as well.

Most women don’t really care that much about what you do when they’re not around, unless you’ve explicitly boxed yourself into the boyfriend role. Don't hint that you're being monogamous with any women you're seeing and they'll never ask if you're sleeping with other women. Don’t ask, don’t tell is the best policy. It’s not dishonesty . Always answer any question truthfully, and never deliberately mislead a woman. It’s simply the fact that emotionally, women don’t really care what you do when they’re not around, as long as you’re good to them when you’re together. If you're the boyfriend it's a different game. Being single and unattached is what's going on in her mind as well but you just haven't got it yet.

Bar advice. A huge thing to remember about women, and here's a little relationship advice, they hate being played in games and especially liars. You'll be forever black listed and even all her friends will know. Don't do it.

Single

Let's be honest. No woman really wants to be alone for the rest of her life. But does being alone mean you're doomed to be miserable forever? Definitely not! And does being single have to equal lonely? No way! You can have the best time of your life when you're single, but you wouldn't know that from our relationship obsessed society, where celebrity magazines devote the majority of their content to who's dating whom and the wedding industry is a $100-billion business. Yet more than a third of marriages end in divorce, and countless other couples languish in unions that shouldn't have happened in the first place.

Bar advice. Don't become a statistic. Love yourself and never settle!

Being single till love comes along

Our planet is brimming with lots of people; undeniably though, finding true love can be considered a risky business. Love is supposed to be a beautiful feeling with lots of happy thoughts emanating from the whole package of being in love, so why is finding true love considered a difficult challenge?

Most of us grew up with some fairy tale story about how a poor girl finds love with a handsome prince or a movie like Sinbad, where he gets the Maharajahs daughter. When we have seen shows or read books like that when we are young and our mom is sobbing at the end of the show because they lived happily ever after, we think that life is just like that. We wait and nothing happens. People don't really seem to bother at first when they're still young but when the mid thirties and forties creep on them, the panic starts to rattle slowly. You end up dealing with parents that want to match make you. Maybe even friends or colleagues that have brothers that you just assume kiss a frog than shake his hand.

Is finding love really so hard though? Or do we just make it hard? Finding love is not hard, but sometimes it takes a long time. So if you are single now then you are likely going go be single for awhile.Why? you got to open your heart to want to let someone love you. All material things, looks, race and more can be put aside or compromised to suit each other.in the mean time you're still single.

Here are some advantages of being single:

1. You are independent.
Basically you can do what you want when you want. You don't have to wait, you don't have to ask, you can just go.

2. More time when you're single.
You don't have to sit around doing nothing. Want to go to the bar? Want to join the hiking club? Play an instrument? How about taking salsa lessons? Want to take a course? Learn a new hobby? Go for a holiday? Sleep with someone you met? Who's stopping you?

3. No need to deal with a partners personal habits.
You can sleep without listening to someones snoring and hog all the blankets all the time and nobody cares. You don't have to pick up after anyone but yourself. And you don't even have to pick up after yourself if you don't want to.(Don't do that when you're with someone or he'll think you're a slob). You can prance around naked at home if you like. Give your patience a well-deserved break.

4. You can be spontaneous.
Be daring! Do what you want when you want to and who cares if you don't get to dinner until midnight? Do something out of the ordinary, without having to get permission first or calling ahead. This is freedom!

5. Focus on your career.
You can channel your energy into your work. Without a relationship, you have a lot more time. Put in those extra hours and impress your boss, or take on new projects.

6. You are your own boss.
Relationships need compromise and you don't always get your own way. Both people in a relationship have to give something up for the greater good of the relationship. Do what you want and treat yourself more? Selfishness is good for the soul(in small doses) but when we get married we do everything for the family. We sacrifice work, freedom, money, self and more for partner and even children. You have to know what you are seeking deep in your heart.

Don't stress! That special someone is out there and you can and will find them. It just takes time. For some it's later for others it was a mistake. The rest are coping. It's true. Isn't it?

In the meantime, enjoy being single for a while. In fact, if you can't be happy being single, you will never be happy with your soul mate! Kind of like rich and poor. There are lots of poor people who are happy and lots that are unhappy. Same with rich people. Lots are happy and lots are unhappy. Now what do you think would happen if we took a poor person who was unhappy, and gave them lots of money? Guess what? They would probably be happy for a short time, but it wouldn't last and eventually they would be just as unhappy as they were.

Ever wonder why that is? Being happy comes from inside of you not outside. OK, you are single; enjoy yourself and that special person will come along before you know it!

Bar advice. For those that are parents now with children. Change the fairy tale stories a little to emphasise the realities of the modern world but remind them of the oldest and most cherished thing. Love.

Is life a test?

I rarely ever remember a dream. Even when I can remember what I was dreaming about when I have to get up for a drink or bathroom break in the middle of the night, I have forgotten all about it by morning.

However, last night I was dreaming about taking a test. I am not sure the subject of the test. I do remember feeling under pressure and I was struggling a bit with the content of the test.Now, I have taken my share of tests in the past and can recall having these types of dreams while in college; but, why now?I jotted down a few notes before going back to bed and did my best to decipher this brain spark this morning.I am into several projects right now in which I am under the microscope, so to speak. But, am I? Is this all in my head? Do I bring all this pressure on myself?

Probably.

I try to be the best I can be; mentally, physically, and financially. I try to learn as much as possible to improve my abilities in these areas. This is great as long as I don't spend so much time trying to improve me that it harms my life in these same areas; i.e. stress, family, friends, health, etc.

We all see the "burn-out" in the self-improvement entrepreneur; the sacrifices made in the "important things" in life such as relationships and peace of mind.Peace of mind should be a top priority for mental, physical, and financial success. Living life as some sort of constant test will hamper this process.Realizing that progress is a "you vs. you" phenomenon and that you don't have to please someone else on a day to day basis is a great start.

Bryan Tracy, in his audio series from Nightingale Conant entitled "Action Secrets for Personal Achievement," talks about the need for certain people to get the approval of others. He calls this a symptom of Type "A" behavior.

Here are some of the other type "A" symptoms:

Having a sense of urgency to do more and more in less and less time.

Volunteering for more and more work at the office.

Feeling under pressure to get activities accomplished.

Being obsessed with your performance and having high standards for such performance.

The type "A" personality feel like they have never done enough.

Compare self with others.

More concerned with things than with people.

Brings home work.

Talks about the boss, what the boss said, what the boss did… wants to please the boss at all times.

Has a sense of hostility towards those he or she feels to be competing against.

Type "A's" cannot admit that they are not in control.

If you fall into any of the above categories, making a decision to change may be a great first step. This decision involves trying to relax and still be productive and effective without the added stress we type "A's" like to impart.

There are two things that have worked in the past for me (and my clients) that I am going to focus on after this "wake–up call."One is a daily exercise plan. Even when I am on the road, I usually do some exercise daily, but, there are times I get in a rut and don't focus on my planning and execution of a said workout. A daily routine helps relieve stress and will bring out creativity and problem solving abilities like no other activity!It is a "reality check" for me as well. Things are brought into a better perspective after a good workout, no matter how long the workout is.

The second concept is practicing daily solitude. This could be a twenty minute walk, a power relaxation, almost nap, hanging out on a park bench, etc. This is a time to let your mind 'go' and let your subconscious work on goals, problems, and/or ideas that are filling your head. It's "mind-cleansing" if you will.This is a time when you just sit back and take in the world, usually outside in a fairly secluded place without interruptions. I sometimes think about a couple of goals or issues in my life ahead of time, then sit back and let my brain work on things.

I tend to find some answers to problems as well as some pretty great ideas to take back to work with me. They not only help me achieve goals, but relieve stress at the same time. These two activities alone have probably added years to my life and help me through some potentially stressful times.

Thus, the reason for my dream. I have been in situations recently in which I feel the need to "prove" myself. I am living my life as a series of test, daily. I have felt out of sorts, not myself, lacking confidence.All brought on by myself.

One other aspect of things is, what's going on at home and in your relationship. Be it if you're married, single or just with the people that are related to you in the same house. You have to add that part in as well to make it full circle otherwise you end up being a 'burn out' in life.

Bar advice. Remember to take time out for yourself. Health and happiness is more important than the other stuff that you may think you want. Money. What's the use of having it if you're too sick or dying to spend it? One last thing. Ask yourself,"Is there going to be anyone caring about the fact that I'm dead or alive"? Who will be around when it's your time to go or will anyone be bothered or even miss you at all?