Aristotle once said happiness is the 'desire behind all other desires'. To feel happy is to feel fulfilled, content, at peace and utterly satisfied. And as it turns out, the majority, about 77 percent of us, are either extremely or somewhat happy with our lives in general.
Still, many of us strive to reach even a fair level of satisfaction in our lives, yet end up falling short and looking for more. For those still struggling to find contentment, what is the key to getting there?
Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not making money, it’s not going shopping, it’s not even enjoying a good meal. What it is is surrounding yourself with experiences that create what the relatively new field of positive psychology has coined as 'flow'.
Finding 'Flow' in Your Life, and Why You Need it to Feel Happy
'Flow' is the elated feeling you experience when you’ve just had a completely gratifying experience. According to the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center, “Engaging in an experience that produces ‘flow’ is so gratifying that people are willing to do it for its own sake, rather than for what they will get out of it. The activity is its own reward.”
This may sound rather abstract, but it’s not. There are very specific ways to reach the feeling of 'flow', and they include:
• Having a purpose: Engaging in a challenging activity that your skills are suited for
• Using your skills to pursue a clear goal
• Getting immediate feedback on progress toward the goal
• Maintaining clear markers of achievement toward your goal
In other words, engaging yourself in activities that are challenging, that give you purpose, and that you get positive feedback from (meaning you are successful at them) is key to feeling fulfilled.
When you think about this scenario, you realize that it can be applied to just about anything in your life. Career is the obvious one, but it also expands to your personal relationships, fitness level, self-fulfillment, organization, even planning a vacation or planting a garden.
In such an activity, concentration is fully engaged in the moment, self-awareness disappears, and sense of time is distorted, according to the Positive Psychology Center.
Finding Your Focus
To find the activities that will give you 'flow', or, perhaps to make it so that every activity you engage yourself in makes you feel satisfied, it is necessary to first release negative, self-sabotaging emotions. These feelings, such as fear, anger, guilt, anxiety or sadness, do nothing but hold us back, and you can only feel truly free to surround yourself with love, happiness, and peace when you let them go.
Letting go of negativity is much easier than it sounds but scientifically proven to help you release negative thoughts and behaviors and, in their place, create a solid, positive mental attitude.
Studies have also found that the following acts also contribute to feelings of satisfaction, elation and happiness.
• Express gratitude often
• Do good deeds for others
• Keep an optimistic attitude
• Use your strengths toward something of importance (such as tutoring, cleaning up the environment or volunteering at a charity)
Bar advice.To keep yourself feeling good and satisfeied with life at this moment. Help someone else. You'll see that what you give returns to you ten fold. Don't do it in anticipation of rewards but for bringing joy to others and in turn you will receive as well.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Pleasing a woman
It’s not what you think! It's not about where to kiss or lick or rub or how hard or how fast. Its not about harder, longer erections (although those are also very nice!) A woman's body and her responses are so changeable. What pleased her last week does nothing for her tonight.
Many men learn about women's sexuality from pornography. I have nothing against pornography and I quite enjoy some pornography myself. But, the depiction of women's sexuality in pornography is simply not accurate. Many women compound this lack of information by expecting her man to know how to please her without telling him. You can encourage her to communicate with you. You can also learn to expand your consciousness so that you can sense what she desires without her telling you in words.
She needs your full attention. She needs to trust that you are there with her with your complete presence. If your mind wanders to your car or your career or the bills due at the end of the month, she can feel it and she loses trust.
Improving your ability to please a woman is very like learning to play a musical instrument. It takes practice, patience and experience to make beautiful music. You master the basics before moving on to advanced techniques. Here are some good basic practices for you to start with. Learning to please a partner with Tantric teachings starts with practices you do by yourself. While pleasuring yourself, expand your attention to your entire body. Your toes and fingers and top of your head and everything in between. When you can do this at the height of arousal, expand your consciousness to your entire body and to your surroundings, noise from the street, light in the room, air temperature, the bed against your back, the trees seen through the window. Next, do these consciousness practices with your partner. And, finally, expand your consciousness to your entire body, your surroundings and your partner’s body as she experiences being in it at each moment. If your mouth is on her breast, imagine how it feels to have a breast and feel someone’s mouth on it. When you master this expansion of consciousness, you will simply know without effort what she wants from you in any moment.
Send energy into her body with your mind.
Tantra teaches us that a man yearns to empty himself out and a woman yearns to be filled up. There are many ways to do this in addition to the physical sex act. You can penetrate a woman with your consciousness, your energy and your attention before or while you penetrate her with parts of your body. The practice in the above paragraph is one way to do this. As you expand your consciousness to include her body as she experiences being in it, you penetrate with your energy. She will feel the difference! She may not be aware of why, but she will feel more trust and connection. She will feel more alive. Another wonderful practice is to use your mind to send energy into her body through your fingers. Imagine that there is a fire in your hand (which there is!) and think about sending the warmth and light from that fire into her body.
And finally, be aware that a woman experiences her sexuality and emotions very differently from a man. I believe very strongly in letting men be men and letting women be women and celebrating the differences and the gifts that we bring to each other. But I also believe it is helpful to understand these differences. For a man, sex and love are very separate experiences. A man can learn to connect his heart and sexual energy if he wishes and there are benefits to this. For a woman, love and sex are much more naturally linked. When you take a woman in your arms, remember that she is experiencing that time with you with her heart as well as her sexual body.
Bar advice. If you really want to know more. I suggest you really got to start to find out what it takes. Sometimes it's best for both people to explore these things together. Get a video, books or other resources, then when you have got more info. Practice. A lot.
Many men learn about women's sexuality from pornography. I have nothing against pornography and I quite enjoy some pornography myself. But, the depiction of women's sexuality in pornography is simply not accurate. Many women compound this lack of information by expecting her man to know how to please her without telling him. You can encourage her to communicate with you. You can also learn to expand your consciousness so that you can sense what she desires without her telling you in words.
She needs your full attention. She needs to trust that you are there with her with your complete presence. If your mind wanders to your car or your career or the bills due at the end of the month, she can feel it and she loses trust.
Improving your ability to please a woman is very like learning to play a musical instrument. It takes practice, patience and experience to make beautiful music. You master the basics before moving on to advanced techniques. Here are some good basic practices for you to start with. Learning to please a partner with Tantric teachings starts with practices you do by yourself. While pleasuring yourself, expand your attention to your entire body. Your toes and fingers and top of your head and everything in between. When you can do this at the height of arousal, expand your consciousness to your entire body and to your surroundings, noise from the street, light in the room, air temperature, the bed against your back, the trees seen through the window. Next, do these consciousness practices with your partner. And, finally, expand your consciousness to your entire body, your surroundings and your partner’s body as she experiences being in it at each moment. If your mouth is on her breast, imagine how it feels to have a breast and feel someone’s mouth on it. When you master this expansion of consciousness, you will simply know without effort what she wants from you in any moment.
Send energy into her body with your mind.
Tantra teaches us that a man yearns to empty himself out and a woman yearns to be filled up. There are many ways to do this in addition to the physical sex act. You can penetrate a woman with your consciousness, your energy and your attention before or while you penetrate her with parts of your body. The practice in the above paragraph is one way to do this. As you expand your consciousness to include her body as she experiences being in it, you penetrate with your energy. She will feel the difference! She may not be aware of why, but she will feel more trust and connection. She will feel more alive. Another wonderful practice is to use your mind to send energy into her body through your fingers. Imagine that there is a fire in your hand (which there is!) and think about sending the warmth and light from that fire into her body.
And finally, be aware that a woman experiences her sexuality and emotions very differently from a man. I believe very strongly in letting men be men and letting women be women and celebrating the differences and the gifts that we bring to each other. But I also believe it is helpful to understand these differences. For a man, sex and love are very separate experiences. A man can learn to connect his heart and sexual energy if he wishes and there are benefits to this. For a woman, love and sex are much more naturally linked. When you take a woman in your arms, remember that she is experiencing that time with you with her heart as well as her sexual body.
Bar advice. If you really want to know more. I suggest you really got to start to find out what it takes. Sometimes it's best for both people to explore these things together. Get a video, books or other resources, then when you have got more info. Practice. A lot.
星期二Tuesdays with Morrie
Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom is a heart warming book on some of life's most important lessons. It is a short and easy read. Yet it leaves an after effect on us all, reminding us to fully live each day. Morrie and Mitch are inspiring characters and the book as a whole deserves five stars as a must read that you'll never forget.
Very well written and you can feel every emotion imaginable while reading it. Well deserved of all of its acclaim.
Bar advice. This is a true life story. If you get the chance to see it on TV ( Hallmark) then do so. It circles around everyone and Jack Lemmon plays a wonderful Morrie. It may bring tears to your eyes.
Is life a test?
I rarely ever remember a dream. Even when I can remember what I was dreaming about when I have to get up for a drink or bathroom break in the middle of the night, I have forgotten all about it by morning.
However, last night I was dreaming about taking a test. I am not sure the subject of the test. I do remember feeling under pressure and I was struggling a bit with the content of the test.Now, I have taken my share of tests in the past and can recall having these types of dreams while in college; but, why now?I jotted down a few notes before going back to bed and did my best to decipher this brain spark this morning.I am into several projects right now in which I am under the microscope, so to speak. But, am I? Is this all in my head? Do I bring all this pressure on myself?
Probably.
I try to be the best I can be; mentally, physically, and financially. I try to learn as much as possible to improve my abilities in these areas. This is great as long as I don't spend so much time trying to improve me that it harms my life in these same areas; i.e. stress, family, friends, health, etc.
We all see the "burn-out" in the self-improvement entrepreneur; the sacrifices made in the "important things" in life such as relationships and peace of mind.Peace of mind should be a top priority for mental, physical, and financial success. Living life as some sort of constant test will hamper this process.Realizing that progress is a "you vs. you" phenomenon and that you don't have to please someone else on a day to day basis is a great start.
Bryan Tracy, in his audio series from Nightingale Conant entitled "Action Secrets for Personal Achievement," talks about the need for certain people to get the approval of others. He calls this a symptom of Type "A" behavior.
Here are some of the other type "A" symptoms:
Having a sense of urgency to do more and more in less and less time.
Volunteering for more and more work at the office.
Feeling under pressure to get activities accomplished.
Being obsessed with your performance and having high standards for such performance.
The type "A" personality feel like they have never done enough.
Compare self with others.
More concerned with things than with people.
Brings home work.
Talks about the boss, what the boss said, what the boss did… wants to please the boss at all times.
Has a sense of hostility towards those he or she feels to be competing against.
Type "A's" cannot admit that they are not in control.
If you fall into any of the above categories, making a decision to change may be a great first step. This decision involves trying to relax and still be productive and effective without the added stress we type "A's" like to impart.
There are two things that have worked in the past for me (and my clients) that I am going to focus on after this "wake–up call."One is a daily exercise plan. Even when I am on the road, I usually do some exercise daily, but, there are times I get in a rut and don't focus on my planning and execution of a said workout. A daily routine helps relieve stress and will bring out creativity and problem solving abilities like no other activity!It is a "reality check" for me as well. Things are brought into a better perspective after a good workout, no matter how long the workout is.
The second concept is practicing daily solitude. This could be a twenty minute walk, a power relaxation, almost nap, hanging out on a park bench, etc. This is a time to let your mind 'go' and let your subconscious work on goals, problems, and/or ideas that are filling your head. It's "mind-cleansing" if you will.This is a time when you just sit back and take in the world, usually outside in a fairly secluded place without interruptions. I sometimes think about a couple of goals or issues in my life ahead of time, then sit back and let my brain work on things.
I tend to find some answers to problems as well as some pretty great ideas to take back to work with me. They not only help me achieve goals, but relieve stress at the same time. These two activities alone have probably added years to my life and help me through some potentially stressful times.
Thus, the reason for my dream. I have been in situations recently in which I feel the need to "prove" myself. I am living my life as a series of test, daily. I have felt out of sorts, not myself, lacking confidence.All brought on by myself.
One other aspect of things is, what's going on at home and in your relationship. Be it if you're married, single or just with the people that are related to you in the same house. You have to add that part in as well to make it full circle otherwise you end up being a 'burn out' in life.
Bar advice. Remember to take time out for yourself. Health and happiness is more important than the other stuff that you may think you want. Money. What's the use of having it if you're too sick or dying to spend it? One last thing. Ask yourself,"Is there going to be anyone caring about the fact that I'm dead or alive"? Who will be around when it's your time to go or will anyone be bothered or even miss you at all?
However, last night I was dreaming about taking a test. I am not sure the subject of the test. I do remember feeling under pressure and I was struggling a bit with the content of the test.Now, I have taken my share of tests in the past and can recall having these types of dreams while in college; but, why now?I jotted down a few notes before going back to bed and did my best to decipher this brain spark this morning.I am into several projects right now in which I am under the microscope, so to speak. But, am I? Is this all in my head? Do I bring all this pressure on myself?
Probably.
I try to be the best I can be; mentally, physically, and financially. I try to learn as much as possible to improve my abilities in these areas. This is great as long as I don't spend so much time trying to improve me that it harms my life in these same areas; i.e. stress, family, friends, health, etc.
We all see the "burn-out" in the self-improvement entrepreneur; the sacrifices made in the "important things" in life such as relationships and peace of mind.Peace of mind should be a top priority for mental, physical, and financial success. Living life as some sort of constant test will hamper this process.Realizing that progress is a "you vs. you" phenomenon and that you don't have to please someone else on a day to day basis is a great start.
Bryan Tracy, in his audio series from Nightingale Conant entitled "Action Secrets for Personal Achievement," talks about the need for certain people to get the approval of others. He calls this a symptom of Type "A" behavior.
Here are some of the other type "A" symptoms:
Having a sense of urgency to do more and more in less and less time.
Volunteering for more and more work at the office.
Feeling under pressure to get activities accomplished.
Being obsessed with your performance and having high standards for such performance.
The type "A" personality feel like they have never done enough.
Compare self with others.
More concerned with things than with people.
Brings home work.
Talks about the boss, what the boss said, what the boss did… wants to please the boss at all times.
Has a sense of hostility towards those he or she feels to be competing against.
Type "A's" cannot admit that they are not in control.
If you fall into any of the above categories, making a decision to change may be a great first step. This decision involves trying to relax and still be productive and effective without the added stress we type "A's" like to impart.
There are two things that have worked in the past for me (and my clients) that I am going to focus on after this "wake–up call."One is a daily exercise plan. Even when I am on the road, I usually do some exercise daily, but, there are times I get in a rut and don't focus on my planning and execution of a said workout. A daily routine helps relieve stress and will bring out creativity and problem solving abilities like no other activity!It is a "reality check" for me as well. Things are brought into a better perspective after a good workout, no matter how long the workout is.
The second concept is practicing daily solitude. This could be a twenty minute walk, a power relaxation, almost nap, hanging out on a park bench, etc. This is a time to let your mind 'go' and let your subconscious work on goals, problems, and/or ideas that are filling your head. It's "mind-cleansing" if you will.This is a time when you just sit back and take in the world, usually outside in a fairly secluded place without interruptions. I sometimes think about a couple of goals or issues in my life ahead of time, then sit back and let my brain work on things.
I tend to find some answers to problems as well as some pretty great ideas to take back to work with me. They not only help me achieve goals, but relieve stress at the same time. These two activities alone have probably added years to my life and help me through some potentially stressful times.
Thus, the reason for my dream. I have been in situations recently in which I feel the need to "prove" myself. I am living my life as a series of test, daily. I have felt out of sorts, not myself, lacking confidence.All brought on by myself.
One other aspect of things is, what's going on at home and in your relationship. Be it if you're married, single or just with the people that are related to you in the same house. You have to add that part in as well to make it full circle otherwise you end up being a 'burn out' in life.
Bar advice. Remember to take time out for yourself. Health and happiness is more important than the other stuff that you may think you want. Money. What's the use of having it if you're too sick or dying to spend it? One last thing. Ask yourself,"Is there going to be anyone caring about the fact that I'm dead or alive"? Who will be around when it's your time to go or will anyone be bothered or even miss you at all?
Seven Principals of making marriage work
A friend of mine bought this book originally and I then promptly bought copies for everyone I know! I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It is based on research so is very objective, is easy to read and offers practical advice as well as short quizzes that are helpful as far as offering ways to move forward.
Bar advice.I cannot think of any married or indeed single person for whom this book would not be helpful!
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Judging by appearance外觀
Based on the choice of clothing women can be divided into two categories. Those who dress for others and those who dress for themselves.
The amount of clothes people have does not matter in the slightest. However, it is easy to judge a woman based on the amount of quality clothes in her wardrobe. Linen clothes do not make an exception as linen is one of the most ecological of all existing materials.
Lithuania has a very old flax cultivation tradition. Flax is closely associated with women here, to the extent that flax used to be called the women’s plant and women’s existence was closely related to that of flax. Women used to spin flax, weave linen and use it for a good many household chores. They used to die linen with all sorts of natural colours using cherry leaves to produce blue, flax flowers to produce red and apple tree skin to produce green.
The role of women as artists should not be underestimated either. They all wore self made linen clothes that reflected their spiritual and creative visions. The bed covers, table cloths, and towels exhibited at contemporary ethnographical museums continue to fascinate us by the impressive techniques used to make them as well as artistic qualities such as the subtle harmony of ornaments and colours.
One should not believe that linen clothes are worn only where the material itself is produced. Having long spread all over the world and valued for its hygienic qualities, linen is more and more widely used by clothes producers. Today one has a choice between original designer models and mass produced trousers, skirts and tunics. Many think that linen clothes can only be worn in summer. Contemporary technologies allow for the production of mixed materials, such as especially highly valued combination of wool and linen. Linen makes it resistant and wool makes it warm. Trousers or suits made of this material are perfectly suitable to wear in winter too.
Bar advice. Ladies, every time you think of treating yourself to a new piece of clothing, remember that it is not the quantity, but the quality that matters. Don’t forget, you are first judged by your appearance.
The amount of clothes people have does not matter in the slightest. However, it is easy to judge a woman based on the amount of quality clothes in her wardrobe. Linen clothes do not make an exception as linen is one of the most ecological of all existing materials.
Lithuania has a very old flax cultivation tradition. Flax is closely associated with women here, to the extent that flax used to be called the women’s plant and women’s existence was closely related to that of flax. Women used to spin flax, weave linen and use it for a good many household chores. They used to die linen with all sorts of natural colours using cherry leaves to produce blue, flax flowers to produce red and apple tree skin to produce green.
The role of women as artists should not be underestimated either. They all wore self made linen clothes that reflected their spiritual and creative visions. The bed covers, table cloths, and towels exhibited at contemporary ethnographical museums continue to fascinate us by the impressive techniques used to make them as well as artistic qualities such as the subtle harmony of ornaments and colours.
One should not believe that linen clothes are worn only where the material itself is produced. Having long spread all over the world and valued for its hygienic qualities, linen is more and more widely used by clothes producers. Today one has a choice between original designer models and mass produced trousers, skirts and tunics. Many think that linen clothes can only be worn in summer. Contemporary technologies allow for the production of mixed materials, such as especially highly valued combination of wool and linen. Linen makes it resistant and wool makes it warm. Trousers or suits made of this material are perfectly suitable to wear in winter too.
Bar advice. Ladies, every time you think of treating yourself to a new piece of clothing, remember that it is not the quantity, but the quality that matters. Don’t forget, you are first judged by your appearance.
Pussycat Dolls娃娃
Bar advice. Lot's of people make noise about their dressing and sexy outfits. The image is a little strong but I think that these are strong girls, especially the lead pussycat Nicole, that are out to have fun and make their mark in the world at this young age becuause they don't know what may happen to them in the future. There are other artist that have come and gone and we never hear from them again. Let's just enjoy these gals.
Back blogging again
I was having some difficulties with the PC and at work in the bar so haven't been able to add to the blog for a while. Anyway things were a little hectic trying to sort out the Internet marketing business that I'm in.
Busy or not, I just had to get back to this quickly. Those reading may be wondering what happened to me. Recently met a nice girl and 'No' didn't find her on friendfinder or anything like that. Just met her at the bar and we got to talk. She was kind of hot and one thing led to another and we ended up in each others arms. She is from the Philippines. Educated and very business orientated. She told me how she was doing business over the Internet and found it a little hard. That's very true actually but some like My Money Dragon aren't. There's also the OTO Goldmine and Megabooster that can make you money quite easily. If you know Google then you can use Adsense on your site like the ones on the right of this blog or you can join the Adwords Miracle that can make you a small fortune as well.
If you don't know, affiliate marketing, is worth a look into. What is affiliate marketing? Well, basically it's the selling of other peoples stuff. You join their company and get a share of the profits. All you got to do is promote the replicated website with your code on it and earn the cash.Let's say you joined Anbes ( Brest serum) and wanted to make money. all you had to do is join the affiliate site and when people buy from your replicated site or if people join through your site, you'll make money. It's that simple and best of all affiliate sites are free.
After telling her all these things, I kind of got her a little confused. That's because she didn't know there was so many ways to earn money on the Internet.Getting back to her. She was only here for two days and we had a great time. I know people think that if you're from the Philippine or one of the other South East Asian countries then there's going to be a problem. Some people are not like that and with the experience that I have I can tell if someone is out to play me or not. This girl seemed to have her head on her sholders and was really interested to get the info to improve herself. It's always good to see people trying to better themselves and their lives.
Bar advice 律師忠告 . Trying to improve one's self is far better than moping about it. get off your ass and help yourself. Dreaming about making things better and actually doing it are two different things. I gave you examples of some of them earlier. Start somewhere.
Busy or not, I just had to get back to this quickly. Those reading may be wondering what happened to me. Recently met a nice girl and 'No' didn't find her on friendfinder or anything like that. Just met her at the bar and we got to talk. She was kind of hot and one thing led to another and we ended up in each others arms. She is from the Philippines. Educated and very business orientated. She told me how she was doing business over the Internet and found it a little hard. That's very true actually but some like My Money Dragon aren't. There's also the OTO Goldmine and Megabooster that can make you money quite easily. If you know Google then you can use Adsense on your site like the ones on the right of this blog or you can join the Adwords Miracle that can make you a small fortune as well.
If you don't know, affiliate marketing, is worth a look into. What is affiliate marketing? Well, basically it's the selling of other peoples stuff. You join their company and get a share of the profits. All you got to do is promote the replicated website with your code on it and earn the cash.Let's say you joined Anbes ( Brest serum) and wanted to make money. all you had to do is join the affiliate site and when people buy from your replicated site or if people join through your site, you'll make money. It's that simple and best of all affiliate sites are free.
After telling her all these things, I kind of got her a little confused. That's because she didn't know there was so many ways to earn money on the Internet.Getting back to her. She was only here for two days and we had a great time. I know people think that if you're from the Philippine or one of the other South East Asian countries then there's going to be a problem. Some people are not like that and with the experience that I have I can tell if someone is out to play me or not. This girl seemed to have her head on her sholders and was really interested to get the info to improve herself. It's always good to see people trying to better themselves and their lives.
Bar advice 律師忠告 . Trying to improve one's self is far better than moping about it. get off your ass and help yourself. Dreaming about making things better and actually doing it are two different things. I gave you examples of some of them earlier. Start somewhere.
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