New Year

Yes it's that time of the year again. The end of one year and the beginning of the next. Let's reflect on what we did throughout the year, shall we?

A lot of us may have done well but I'm sure there's a lot of others that are just having a bad time in their lives. You lived through the Christmas season and now it's time to look forward to a new start of the coming year. Some people may have had financial or work problems. Bills need to be paid. Careers aren't going so well. Family commitments and schedules are tight. Money. Not enough time for the kids. Not enough sleep and relaxation. Death in the family of someone you loved. You or someone you know, ill.

Those in relationships are having difficulties. Just met someone but unsure. Getting on with age and being alone. Looking for good advice is hard. No listening ear to your problems. Confusion. Marriage on the rocks. Husband or wife being unfaithful. Singles can't seem to find the "right" one. Can't understand why you were dumped. Lonely. Lack of sex in the relationship. Too busy with daily life. Feel like losing control. Feel like barriers and walls are all around and there's no door to open. Not sure to take the chance with someone new you met.

There can be so many other examples and I'm sure if given more we all fit in there somewhere. The point is that we go through all sorts of things every year. So do a lot of other people. The resilience of the human spirit is far greater than you think. Some aren't able to cope and the result of this can lead as low as to commit suicide. Just remember, this(problems) too will pass.

I haven't added to the blog since Christmas and will get back with more sometime after the year begins. Wishing all a happy, prosperous, wish filling and loving new year.


Bar advice. Don't think too much about resolutions. Just take action in the coming year. Seek that bravery in you heart to get over anything.

Peace

I wont be writing for a few days because of Christmas. Wish all of you a blessed time full of joy and peace. If you're out to have a blast of a party and do some merry making, great. Get some food, some fun, drinks and some of you will get some sex for sure.

Just remember those around the world that are fighting in wars. Defending themselves against the elements after a natural disaster. Those with lack of water, food and medicines. Without shelter, blankets or clothes. Praying of salvation themselves.

Those of you lonely souls, look to the comforts of what this day truly means and let it bring peace to yourself.

Bar advice. Have a Merry Christmas. I'll bring a nice report for all before the new year 2008

The right flirting techniques for men

Did you know that research has been conducted to show that flirting is instinctive and is used to succeed with the opposite sex? Evolutionary and biological scientists even argue that flirting is the basis for reproduction.So what is the right flirting techniques for men?

There is evidence that supports the idea that our use of intelligence, language, humor, creativity and flirting are things that separate us from the animal kingdom. Simply complex processes designed to do two things. Make us feel important and attract and the opposite sex. If flirting is instinctive then why some men have to learn it, is always asked. While you're born with this ability, you still need to develop it. That means if you spent most of your childhood in front of the television, with limited social contact, then your communication skills will need improving. If this is you, don't worry as yet.

Some men use the right flirting techniques only to get rejection constantly. They'll conclude that flirting equals pain and never use it again from then on. They'll search for another approach to win over the women they want by being 'nice', buying flowers and giving compliments on her beauty. Which of course is not the best way to attract exceptionally beautiful women in the beginning. There's a time and place for everything. Let's look at the flirting techniques and apart from teasing women, what else should you do when talking to them?

While friends talk about hobbies, the weekend, and gossip, there is one form of communication that two friends never engage in with each other. Flirting is more than telling jokes, being funny and being confident. Sexual flirting speaks right to a woman's core and allows her to understand you in her language. While men tend to think very logically and straight down the line, women think emotionally. When interested in men, women hit and tease them, while women who aren't interested tend to stay in the demographics.

The conversation remains in the realm of asking you things like where you live and what work you do. That sort. She can be "interested" in your conversations, which can go for hours, but she'll never feel "attracted" to you. Why? Well women are different creatures; therefore they think, feel and act differently. If you want women to realize you're the man she's been searching for, you need to speak suggestively. Example would not be by saying how beautiful she looks but rather by suggesting that she's a 'bad girl'. While flirting is very powerful, it's also the most difficult concept to understand and explain. What makes flirting so powerful is the unspoken intent. A woman who like a man can sense thoughts about him even when nothing is said. Body, eye and facial movements can say much more than words.

Instead of just talking about each other, you should playfully suggest that you should "be together" without actually saying it, and never actually asking for it. It's a powerful mixture of eyes, posture, voice tone, touch and your words all combined to make her feel emotionally drawn to you. Maybe, as it's just a suggestion, one should read up on compatibilities of zodiac signs as well. This brings great help in dealing with those that you meet out of the blue. Another funny thing is the sense of smell is also playing a part in it but a lot of people don't know this. The natural aroma of a person draws another one into themselves and that's also why when the act of sex itself is ongoing people tend to breath in the other person deeply.

One way to remember what you need to do next is this. How would you act if the woman was your an annoying little sister? These method can be used after any comment or action the woman makes. Please don't go doing it till she cries like your little sister. She's going to hate you after that and see you as a bully. There's suppose to be just enough to put her in the mood. Make her fight with you in a playful way. Suggestive flirting is where you imply an interest and relationship between yourself and the woman. Let it move it's course from there.

Bar advice. When meeting someone new, give them a little time to adjust to you first. Sometimes the basic questions do help in bringing down walls but wait for the spark of interest to move further.

What's on your Christmas list?

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I guess we all got imaginery gifts that we would like to have and that includes love, sex, finding someone or just not being that lonely at this time of the year. People are a little down and out at the holidays. Sure, its fine if youre in a relationship or married.

We say it's a time for the kids or a time to be happy and jolly. Reality is when this time of the year comes we feel like that little kid. In need to be loved, hugged or just happy with someone around. Some people go to a state of depression and even suicide.

Will it take another Christmas to make a person open their eyes a little to see that they don't have to be in this situation. Take a chance and open your heart to what is infront of you or the next time you're unsure about someone. Fill that void. The emptiness need not have to be loneliness forever.

Bar advice. Take this time till the end of the year and tell yourself that before next Christmas you'll be feeling like a kid. Joyful and loved.

Holiday peace

Is holiday peace obtainable? It's that time of year when we meet with people that will come together under one roof and do the whole family and friends gathering, eating, drinking and accusing, scolding, bragging and bring up old wounds. The time of peace is marred by an ongoing battle, no sorry, war that's been going on since someone stole the others pacifier in the crib.

Relatives that never understood you start acting like they do every year. You see it coming a mile away and you try to avoid it but with all the festivities going on you're suddenly in the same spot as the one you're trying to avoid. A barrage of questions will come out. It's like a machine gun with ammo that's unlimited. You try to duck out of the way but you're trapped. Suddenly your aunt passes by and you managed to get a "rescue". Like a red cross medic in the field. She turns to you and ask if he had started his nonsense again. You realize then that others know about him and knew how to avoid the situation. You were the only one in a panic all these years. You realize, you got a good life so why worry when people start asking about stuff they know not about you. Suppress the fears of engagement.

Sometimes it's a little more difficult than that. Your family may be brutally insensitive, culturally backwards and just plain annoying. However, to have a new experience, you must be open to it. People sometimes show concern in different ways. If you're single maybe you get too much about not being with someone. If male you're probably going to get all sort of offers to be fixed up. If female, you're going to be nagged about where you live, what you do, your high standards for a man and some more hurtful comments. If you are just waiting for someone to hurt your feelings, just like last year, it will surely happen. Try finding the comfort of talking to the one that's the most helpful or better still understands you the best. When in the presences of that person other peoples word, comments and tactlessness seems trivial.

Going out of the house can sometimes helps as well. You feel like spiking the whole bowl of eggnog as well. Just remember you must make your own life yours. If you blame your family for everything you don't have in your life, you will surely never get it because you are looking to the wrong source for your power. It's not that we have to heal from other people's behavior, it's that we must heal from our reaction to their behavior. Own your issues because no matter where they stem from, they are yours to deal with. give yourself a "cease fire' moment. Every family have all sorts of members and yours is no exception.

Now let yourself off the hook and have a great time. While you're enjoying the demilitarized war zone, go visit your good memories. Look at old photo albums. Check out some space in the house you liked. Drive by your old elementary school. Put your focus on letting the good things weigh as much or more than the bad things. Your family may be the worst one in the whole wide world, but you still had a childhood that belongs to you. Perhaps the greatest gift of being a kid is the capacity to be amazed by the world. Tap in to the joyous child within and have yourself a happy holiday!

Bar advice. Maybe others see you as the bad one or black sheep but we don't recognize our own faults till someone points them out to us.

The true secret about getting ?

I stressed this point several times before. Due to the fact that men are primarily attracted to a woman's physical beauty, they make the mistake of assuming that she is also attracted by physical beauty. Hopefully I can clear this up for you.

Women bear children, men don't. So while men are drawn to the youthful, healthy, physical signs of a woman, women instinctively gravitate towards fearless men who takes charge of a situation. In essence, confidence! This is the true secret about getting women. This makes perfect sense when you think about it from a biological point of view. Women want men who can protect her family and herself from the big bad things of this world. So, this explains why you see so many women with guys like bad boys and the rebel sort. They aren't always the most "suitable", but they're oozing with confidence, which makes them irresistible from Mother Nature's point of view.

Women are realist. They just want to get to the bottom of things and that includes who you are. They want the real you. You see women looking at celebs and drooling about them but what happens when they find out something bad about them? They turn away with disgust. They feel let down by the actions of their idol. The thought of the person they adored doing a "bad" thing cannot seem to register in them. Women that do this must realize that they don't know the person at all. The actions of that celeb falls badly on all other guys simply because they are men. When a woman really meet a man it is then an added bonus that he looks half good. Not quite their idol but presentable. She sees beyond the physical and less imperfect features. She seeks the confident and stable soul.

If you go to online dating sites, you'll find a lot of women adding on their preference section for guys not to 'play games'. Also, and more importantly, they state that the guy's looks are not important to them. The tendency here is that these are a little more matured women. Those in their late twenty's till forties. Why is this so? The ones that are still looking for their handsome "prince charming" tend to be the younger ones. Maturity level in looking for "true love" is blocked by the hot handsome celeb look a like. It's understandable that the youthful will stick to what they know and feel. Peer pressure also looms in every part of their lives. Women in the other group have found that love, commitment and strong lasting relationships is what they're after.

Another point for women is, the older they get the less likely they show that they want sex. A brave front to deny themselves the physical pleasure they like but they seek things of greater value i.e. someone that cares for them the way they want. They always want a secure foundation with a man. Once everything is laid and all barriers have come down, all fears aside, the sex will follow. Women are more likely to fill a mans every desire because she has placed trust in him from that point onwards. Beside her wanting to fill her sexual needs she will make sure that the man get his "all" so she needs not have to go looking anymore. Who wants to after all that time.

Women need to know that men are unwise to these particular needs of women. They tend to see women like themselves. Men think women think the same way as them so they falter. Their train of thought is derailed at the sight of the next lovely girl that comes along. Getting a man is one thing but getting him to stay with you is another. By understanding that men need some coaching to a women's way will get you ahead in the game. Men want and need to be told sometimes, just like their mommy's did, to know what they need to do. Pleasing a woman that's difficult can be tough and that makes some men run off to find another one less demanding and less self centered. Seeking for an ideal man is nice but reality is he'll never be as perfect as you dreamed up and neither will you be to him. Acceptance and working the relationship will see both through and together.

Bar advice. Men can also be just as complex as women. If both can just see the others wants and needs it can just about click. Take a chance sometimes.

Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy raises legal questions

(CNN) -- The announced pregnancy of Jamie Lynn Spears, the 16-year-old children's television star and younger sister of beleaguered pop star Britney Spears, is casting new light on how to deal with the thorny issue of consensual sex among teens.

I brought up this subject with the CNN headlines because we see today many things happening to a lot of teens around the world involving sex. The consequence here, sadly, is a child has developed and the fact is Jamie, in a lot of ways, is also still a child. The law doesn't allow her to drink, go to a bar or even vote. Her sister Britney certainly isn't all that a great role model after her recent difficulties. Jamie seems to think all is well because they got money. Other people won't have the same choices if in the same situation of teen pregnancy and would probably have an abortion.

A lot of people may not know this but their mom was actually going to release a book on parenting. That's now been held back. Wonder what she must be thinking, huh? At this moment the police are looking to see if it is rape because they have different laws in different states. They do however know that Jamie has claimed consensual sex.

She performs on Nickelodeon's "Zoey101" and is suppose to be a role model for kids. Britney was formerly from the Mickey Mouse Club with Justine Timberlake but nothing happened there.(How different they would be if they did.) The fact that she is just saying she is going to raise the child and give it a "normal" upbringing is just plain idiotic. Taking from Britney's song title, I'm just a girl, not yet a woman; rings as true life for Jamie at this moment. There are lots of people out there that are in the same situation of teen pregnancy right now but have no means to do anything about it. They know about sex and pregnancy but yet they do nothing to help themselves stop before the cat itself takes place. their idea of what real love shold be is distorted by what sex is.

Many a time, the father turns out to be a teenager himself. Not ready for the responsibilities of fatherhood because he may not have had good fathering himself. How do you act as a father when you never had one, were not brought up by one, had a foster one or raised by just elder brothers who had problems of their own? Normal reaction by a boy when told this news would be fear of what to do. Suddenly he realizes that he's still a kid as well. The world just became a bigger place and no one can help him with this especially his parents. Eventually he finds there's no one else to turn to BUT his parents. To just tell the parents is fear far worse than he's ever encountered. If he's having this sort of difficulty to tell the parents, imagine what she, the pregnant teen girl, must be going through.

The point that people don't see is, the baby that's on the way. There's a whole new person that will be coming into the world. Is "it" going to be protected or loved by people that are going to be taking care "it"? Why do I say "it"? That's what will be describe by everyone that will be talking about "it". The value of the unborn child will not be seen at all. In fact it becomes a strain, a burden, a financial liability and worse of all, another mouth to feed. Suggestions to abort the child will be swift to come out from a lot of people. The concern of the rest of the lives of both the new mother and father will take priority over the life and death of the unborn child. What world do we live in?

Teen pregnancy is not new but trying to do something about it is hard. The kids of today grow up really fast with the help of the Internet, MTV, video phones, porn, magazines and more. I guess it still comes down to parents having to eduacate their kids about all that can happen. The story about the birds and the bees still reigns true till today. Parents are the ones that feel by talking to them about these things only arms their kids with the knowledge to go out and do it even more since they know how to prevent pregnancy. If this is the case then the relationship between parent and child is not as strong as it should be. It may be hard for parents to change after going through their own teen years knowing and doing the things that they did before. However, the world can do with one less abortion or unwanted child.

Bar advice. Give thought to the boy and girl that doesn't know how to face this problem of their unborn child. Now imagine it was your teen kid. What will you do?

Bad boys all women want

You may have noticed around you, there's a 'breed' of man who ladies tend to be attracted to or stick with. He's conventionally called the 'bad boy' or the 'not so nice guy'.

Call such a man whichever way but the fact remains, such men with a 'taint of badness' have more desirable female activity around them. Let's first define something. A bad boy is not a bad person. In the "real-world sense", the word 'bad' when describing a man, brings up associations of a guy who abuses dogs or holds a bunch of criminal records. In the "attraction sense", 'bad' is not about nastiness, ill-doing or the mafia. It's just a guy who gives women a perceived feeling of "thrill". Another way to phrase it(as described to me by a female) is, such men are "naughty in a charming way".

What differentiates him from other guys is his natural ability to flirt with women without trying. He teases all women. Be it work mates, ordinary lady friends or the lady(she's trilled) who washes the toilet and it seem to be the happy guy who's unaffected by things. He didn't even realised this himself. He tends to be cool and suave naturally. Women want to look at him or get to know him. It just comes automatically. He'll say stuff that gets laughter out of ladies and while they're still in the middle of a giggling fit, he'll say to them in a jokingly stern manner to stop laughing like a five year old and get more laughs. With that, he gets smilingly registered as a 'bad boy' by many females and they like him. The fact that he admits to girls he's always been naughty since he was a kid makes it much more inviting and stirs all sorts of curiosity in women. One question you may have is "Do I have to be a 'bad boy' to attract females"?

No! Take the example of the movie Hitch. Some don't look anything like the imaged 'bad boy' but they incorporate elements of the bad boy naughty appeal into their interactions with ladies and still attain huge success. It's all about having conversation with females not just as chatting but seeing it as a process of blasting attraction and appeal in her mind during the interaction. In the course of movies, television and real life history we always see this happening. Women do like to be seen with, in conversation with and in bed with that little 'bad boy'.

Bar advice. Even the funny, simple, shy girl who ends up in a relationship or marriage with the simple 'Joe' or classroom nerd, has a secret desire for her own 'bad boy'. It's natural.