New Year

Yes it's that time of the year again. The end of one year and the beginning of the next. Let's reflect on what we did throughout the year, shall we?

A lot of us may have done well but I'm sure there's a lot of others that are just having a bad time in their lives. You lived through the Christmas season and now it's time to look forward to a new start of the coming year. Some people may have had financial or work problems. Bills need to be paid. Careers aren't going so well. Family commitments and schedules are tight. Money. Not enough time for the kids. Not enough sleep and relaxation. Death in the family of someone you loved. You or someone you know, ill.

Those in relationships are having difficulties. Just met someone but unsure. Getting on with age and being alone. Looking for good advice is hard. No listening ear to your problems. Confusion. Marriage on the rocks. Husband or wife being unfaithful. Singles can't seem to find the "right" one. Can't understand why you were dumped. Lonely. Lack of sex in the relationship. Too busy with daily life. Feel like losing control. Feel like barriers and walls are all around and there's no door to open. Not sure to take the chance with someone new you met.

There can be so many other examples and I'm sure if given more we all fit in there somewhere. The point is that we go through all sorts of things every year. So do a lot of other people. The resilience of the human spirit is far greater than you think. Some aren't able to cope and the result of this can lead as low as to commit suicide. Just remember, this(problems) too will pass.

I haven't added to the blog since Christmas and will get back with more sometime after the year begins. Wishing all a happy, prosperous, wish filling and loving new year.


Bar advice. Don't think too much about resolutions. Just take action in the coming year. Seek that bravery in you heart to get over anything.

Peace

I wont be writing for a few days because of Christmas. Wish all of you a blessed time full of joy and peace. If you're out to have a blast of a party and do some merry making, great. Get some food, some fun, drinks and some of you will get some sex for sure.

Just remember those around the world that are fighting in wars. Defending themselves against the elements after a natural disaster. Those with lack of water, food and medicines. Without shelter, blankets or clothes. Praying of salvation themselves.

Those of you lonely souls, look to the comforts of what this day truly means and let it bring peace to yourself.

Bar advice. Have a Merry Christmas. I'll bring a nice report for all before the new year 2008

Holiday's we're "Chasing Bars"

Here is a You Tube video showing what we may be doing this Christmas and New Year. It's a really humorous copy of the music and song, Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, that was a worldwide hit from the show Grey's Anatomy. Here is the funny song, Chasing Bars, by DCLugi.



Bar advice. Chasing bars or cars isn't as fun as chasing boys or girls. Have fun this holiday time chasing what you need.

Are you looking forward to Christmas

That's the big question on a lot of people's minds. Are you looking forward to Christmas? The reply can vary but you'll be amazed by some of the answers. On of course is when someone lives in a desolate place or his country is not a large Christian community. The response would probably be, "what is Christmas"?

The sad thing is that it is true there will be a lot of people that would have gone through the whole day and not realize that Christmas had passed them. Take for example a man ploughing his field in India somewhere. He may have heard some commotion but never knew about the day. If you asked him he would probably tell you the Christmas is when he gets to feed his family and buffalo an extra portion of food.

Funny thing is we got a lot of people here also that don't seem to get into the whole spirit of the holidays. There's no real "cheer" in them. Sure, money is a problem but this is just one day. Your money problems were throughout the year. Don't blame it on that. Sometimes health issues play a part. Fair, but is it too difficult to pray for your own health. Not in the same religion. Now this we can understand but wouldn't you like others to also be happy during your holiday period? There's a lot of excuses but we got answers for them as well. Nobody can force you but the advice is yours to be taken freely.



In the homes we find some families have difficulties with brothers or fathers being in gangs or drugs. It's hard to keep a nice family unit together. There may be some that have distance themselves form religion because they may have had a tragedy like a member of the home died suddenly or terribly. Blame is placed and so on. Some blame God for their failed marriages or divorce which involves the kids. They don't seem to see themselves as a factor in the problem. Neither do the see Jesus as a solution.

I don't normally write about religion but because there's been so much bloodshed, war and major national disasters around the world, I thought I should add something in black and white and in turn it may just touch someone. That someone may reconcile and head back to church or at least make their life better. Blaming God for all the things that we do out of fear, stupidity and greed is not going to change anything.

One last point. The holidays effect a lot of people that are having relationship problems. Those that are not even talking, living under the same roof and have kids; really ought to sort it out. Why make yourself and all unhappy on this day that's suppose to be about peace and joy. You're an idiot! This is the time to work out old pains, hurts and anger with those we love or know. Put the children first. Be a kid for a day. Make yourself Santa and see peoples eyes light up at the sheer sight of you. This should be the way daily. Men and women making excuses about their relationship issues should remember that we're thought to forgive and be merciful to each other. Take that first step to a happy Christmas.


Bar advice. The bar itself should have a bit of eggnog and people being happy to celebrate the big guys birthday.

Year end

As the year comes to an end every time, we all get caught up in the festivities and the last load of work that our bosses are asking us to do so we can finish the work load for the year. We also got a ton of stuff that we need to do as well. The weather doesn't help the problem as well.

Year end is also a time that we look back and see what we did in our lives. Did we change in some way? Are we happier? Did we make the relationship any better? Is everything alright in the family? Should I have gotten involved with that person? Am I loved? There's so many things that we can ask and by the time it hits Christmas we can also ask if we've been naughty or nice. Probably the actual last thing you could possibility asking yourself would be, "what resolutions will I be making this year that I won't keep?"

This time of the year we also look at the relationship that we have or beginning to have. Those already involved would look back and see if it can still stand the test of time. Others just beginning their relationships are probably guessing what their partners are feeling at this point of time toward them. Normally people are in a joyous mood so things are likely to be pleasant. Sometimes you got to meet the parents for the first time and sometimes it's dreading to meet them if you've been married for the last twenty years. It can be torny when it's the holidays.

Those really single or just met someone are either trilled or scared of what might happen. People just feel all soft and fuzzy inside and they don't want any drama. Especially if it means having their heart broken. Women don't realize that men are just as afraid as they are but they don't quite show it. Nonetheless, at this time of the year, they too need to feel good about themselves and mostly wanted and not alone. Change can sometimes be a good thing.

Not knowing sometimes can be scary but avoiding issues and playing the safe card is not the way to live life. Reflecting on years gone by, one has to ask themselves," do I want to be in someone else life"? Can it happen for me? Don't I too deserve happiness? What am I so worried about? The answers can only come from your heart.

Bar advice. The year end puts a strain on those that are alone mostly. There's a sense of isolation from the joys of what's happening which sometimes, sadly, leads to suicide.

Sundays

We work hard all week. Sundays seem to make us feel relaxed. It's just a psychological triggered reaction to the "rest day" of the week. It just make us lazy a little, sleepy sometimes or with others it's chirpy. We have a double quick step. We get up to go play golf. Maybe squash, yoga, rock climbing or some other sport.

The main thing is that it's our day. Most people of the working class stiffs are doing long hours at work or back breaking jobs. They are the ones that are most appreciative of Sunday. We all wish that money was not a problem and if it wasn't then everyday would feel like Sunday. Come to think of it, everyday would be Christmas.

Waking up on Sundays for families can be fun and full of excitement especially for kids. They either want to go out to the park or movie. Maybe breakfast at McDonalds. For kids it's not so much that they get to go somewhere but that they're going with you. You're not home most of the time and kids just want to spend time with their parents. It may feel like a drag sometimes because you just finished six days of work but most people are fulfilled by the happy faces of their kids.

If you're single it's a time to share with friends or the current love of your life. Lots of people just like to go out for something to eat or have coffee together. Maybe ice cream or stroll on the beach. Sundays are just a little less rushed or planned. Single people that aren't dating still find it a happier day to go shopping or meet up with friends because they just had a full week trying to impress their boss, colleagues or even a girl/guy that they like. All the formalities seem to go out the window on the "rest day".

Married people that haven't got any children yet find that they don't even need to go out of the house to enjoy it. They rather be at home, watch TV, do gardening, reading and maybe a bit of housework that needs attention. Lots of times they may have a barbecue or gathering of family over for a meal. Mostly though, they rather spend time having a lazy Sunday afternoon with each other just talking. At night they may have a meal, share a bottle of wine and watch a movie together all snuggled up with each other. Romantic gesture is never far away at this point of time.

Bar advice. Whatever the case may be, we all must agree that we look forward to Sundays. Even if you do nothing, you love that it comes around every week.

Family traditions.

Each family , big or small, loud or quiet, has its own traditions that are followed more or less unchanged for a long period of time. Keeping these family traditions alive is not only the responsibility of the parents, but also the grandparents, the uncles and aunts, the family friends and in most cases the responsibility of children.

Whether you consider a family tradition to be the annual family vacations to that special place you visit every year, Christmas presents and birthday parties, mothers day or fathers day, the fact remains that families come closer and share the memories of past rituals performed to honor everyone.

When children are still young, so too are parents, family traditions seem to be more sentimental and involve a lot of playing around. As kids get older and parents as well, families try to keep their traditions alive by reaching mutual agreements among the family members. The son that wants to go to a football match and escape the tradition of having to sit down, like every other Sunday, with his whole ten-member family for dinner, can cause some trouble when allowed not to be present often. Keeping the tradition is thus not only the responsibility of the parents in a family, as people seem to believe, but also that of children who will at some point create their own traditions and strive to keep them alive in their own families. Understanding the importance of spending those precious moments with your parents or with your children, will lead you to cherish the instances you had a chance to speak through your actions.

Kids move to higher education and it may take them far from home so traditions fall apart. Some deny this fact by supporting that exactly because children spend less time with their folks they feel the need to do so and use those family traditions as an excuse to visit the house they grew up in. Whichever the case may be, the fact remains that families need those times together and family bonds do develop. Although in many cases these are greatly different from the past, bonds exist because of the family traditions still exist.

Thus, it is imperative for a family to find the right time in order to celebrate the fact that family is what you love most in the world. As a kid your family was the world you knew. As an adult, your family is the world you feel safe in.

Cherish and keep these family traditions alive by doing what you used to do as a kid. Remember and if you are given the chance help your mother bake cookies, wrap presents and put them under the Christmas tree, set up the mother's day dinner, buy the cake your brother or sister will blow the birthday candles on. Do whatever it takes. These are some of the most precious moments you can share with your beloved ones. Do not forget or let them vanish. Time is precious in life. Sometimes tragedies happen and we never get to talk or tell the people we love how we feel about them.

Bar advice. Family traditions get passed on to other generations. If you're using some your parents had, then great. If not, make new ones. Families bond better.

Working during the new year

It seems that everyone is hit with the bug of new year blues. What's that? Well it's the fact that we were on a party high during the Christmas and New Year holidays, that we don't want to step into the work place.

Some haven't returned to work as yet but they know the moment they step into the office they want to make a U turn out of there and head straight to the pubs. In my case the Roof Bar. January brings all the expats and tourist back from the US,UK, Europe and even some parts of Asia that are freezing still. The weather is really gone mad nowadays but all the more so for us to dive straight into work. Some of the people that have returned to work have headed straight to the nightspots to catch up with others. They still have that feel of having to neglect that the new year has arrived and just want to party a little more. Who can blame them?

Lots of them will also go see or find the working girls in the bars because they haven't seen them for a while and that gives them more of an opportunity to have another good drinking night. Of course there's the fact that the girls will be willing participants to follow the guys for even less cash because they just started the year and are in need of cash themselves. Both side will benefit from the situation and it looks like the party is set to continue. I have seen this happen year after year. One small problem that happens sometimes is that some of the guys come back after the holidays and tell me that their marriage is on the verge of divorce. Sometimes these things happen, whereby the wife is not too happy that the spouse is so far away and too long away as well.

When these guys have been out in this part of the world for this long and find the difference in the Asian girl, they look disappointed to actually return home. It's not good as children are sometimes involved in the whole mess and that's a little unfair for them. Some fellow that I know have actually married girls from this region and are really happy and sometimes don't even want to go back. The fact that they have family back at which ever country that they came from compels them to return due to those family ties. The weather is what the dread the most.

Bar adice. Look inside and keep true to yourself and family. Never make rash decisions and remember what are most important in your life.

Christmas Time

Well it seems that the time of year, Christmas, has just passed. If you notice, I haven't been doing anything with the blog because I've been too busy. Not because of work, mind you, but I actually closed the bar for a few days.

What have I been doing? Well, Christmas eve I went to church for mass. Then went back to my sisters place for some grub. Later we went to my brother in law's(sis husband) mother's home. She also happens to be my godmother. I've been going there for the last 27 years actually. We normally get there after they finish the midnight mass. Eventually everyone gathers and there will be some exchange of presents. Lot's of food and drink and we end up going home by 4am. This is normal and a bit of a tradition for us.

Following day I went to his brother's house for lunch. They were all there as well. I didn't get to see his home previously as he got married last year but was staying at his mom's home till then so it was a nice treat for me. Also met up with a few people that I hadn't seen in a while. Did give them a few business cards for my bar. Hope that helps me later.

Next night we ended up in my sisters place. She had already planed this party on boxing day so that she would have enough time to prepare everything to eat and drink. As usual, I ended up being the bartender for the night. For the first time, they got the church guys to bring down the band equipment. It was set up in the living room and after the main guys had their meal they started playing. The food, by the way, was great. We had turkey, ham, stuffing, black pepper beef, baked cauliflower, stir fried vegetables and lots more. There was also some nice deserts, cakes and fruits. Best of all was the people and enough booze to go around for a great party.

We took turns to sing. There were a lot of carols but a lot of other music as well. Mostly those great oldies which ranged from the Bee Gees, Beatles, Elvis and lots more. We all had such a good time in spite of the rain that came down all night. The house was full of people. I finally got to give everyone their presents. I could see they were happy about what they got, especially the ladies, as I got them all jewelry items this year. Thank goodness my internet cash has come in handy. The IMA has pulled in good cash for me. Anyway the worst part about all this was me waiting for Brenda to call me. Why?

I sent her a Christmas present by mail. I even paid for LUM( Local urgent mail) service so it would get to her before Christmas. She only contacted me the next day at about 1am. I guess this was because she finally opened her present and saw that I sent her diamond earnings. The thing is, she messaged me instead of calling. Although she wrote that the present was too expensive but she liked it, she could have at least picked up the phone. I told myself that I was going to 'test' her anyway but I will say that I was disappointed. I have yet to conclude on this matter.

Bar advice. Sometimes the company of family, friends and loved ones are more important during Christmas. Those of us that are alone and sad should reflect on this. It's not the presents but the presence of others that brings joy into our hearts.

Wishing before Christmas

We all do it. We want something before that date arrives. It reflects many people. Even if you're not in that faith religiously. We know what it feels like because we see it in the people around us day to day.

People are either shopping for presents, booking hotel rooms or dinner reservations for that night. Well, we want all that too but some may be having a bad year so it's not going to work out as we like. Then what?

Well, we make the best of it. Remember that girl Brenda that I mentioned before, well I haven't spoken to her for about 2 weeks and today I messaged her for her zip code. She replied back with it but asked the reason. She indicated that if I was sending a card, it would get there late but I replied that it wasn't a card at all. In fact she doesn't know it but I'm sending her Diamond earrings. Why?

Well I'm surprising her. I did not contact her for 2 weeks because I just felt that we needed space and this time of the year is a tense period. If I push it I may loose her all together. I hope she likes what she gets. Whatever it is, I still really, really, really like her.
I leave it to faith that falls next year. I'll highlight about this again soon.

Bar advice. Let things take it's course slowly sometimes. We're all only human.

Beautiful girls

Guess what? Women are all over the place but we are not looking at the right places all the time. Here's a little story about myself at this moment. Here I an meeting this lovely girl Brenda and she's just driving me nuts.

Why you ask? Well. After all the hard time that I had over the last several years, I haven't been with a really wonderful women like her for some time . Wow! She is just fantastic. It's like watching the Niagara Falls and the Angel Falls all roped into one. Small problem. She's getting over someone that she herself told me that she's not in love with but the subject of a another previous boyfriend never seems to elude her conversation or memory. I'm stupid but I think she's great. Reasons...well, I shall reveal sometime later.

At this moment I got to say that everyone always wants to be with someone. Even if you look at the most notorious of gangsters or criminals throughout the centuries, you will find that most of them had someone that loved them or even the fact that they loved others and spent money to do 'good deeds' that help others even though they were that bad of character. All that is good will happen to all that work at it and remember there's no FREE ride.

Bar advice. We all want happines, joy and love. It is coming to Christmas so let us find a way to not be alone. Loneliness is a killer. Change that today.

Loneliest time of the year

With Christmas coming and the year ending we tend to look back at stuff we did during the last twelve months. sure there's a lot of us that will be seeing family and friends but there's also a lot that will be far away from all of them.

If you're a expat working away from home the loneliness sets in as the days get closer to Christmas and New Years. Singles are not too upset but married ones a little though. What is one to do. Some of the guys I know that are married but are working here alone have been fooling around with a lot of the girls that it only really hits them the moment this time of the year comes around. The regret and shame is inside them when they have to make a telephone call on Christmas morning to the family. Knowing that last night on Christmas Eve he just made love to a hooker or a SPG and that side of the bed is still warm even after she left. The scent of her perfume still fills the air as the conversation takes place even to the kids.

Guys think that they can get away with it. They forget to cover their tracks like credit card or phone bills that should have been thrown out or redirected. They meet up with other expats and it becomes a party. The girls seem easy and friendly so temptation sets in. Lust overcomes them more than the booze that they have been drinking and they feel like a teenager again. Seeing, testing, hoping to get to first base then make a home run which ultimately means getting into the sack. As World Aids Day has recently passed, let us be aware that it's still around and hasn't gone a way yet. For that matter there still isn't a cure.

A lot of the girls know that the guys want to be with someone during that time of the year. Why? Well they're in the same boat as well. Do not for one second think that they're here to make more money than usual because of the season. They too want to go back and be with the family. Letting someone fuck them and fear that the Christmas present that they get could be a death sentence is all too real for them as they're with different guys all the time and every night. I feel sad for the girls sometimes. The thing for them is that the grass is greener on the other side. That's why they come to Singapore. It's the lure of bigger money and better chances than being where they are and all other girls competition for them in their own country. If they had money they wouldn't be here either.

Bar advice to the guys. Respect the girls because they wouldn't be doing what they're doing if it wasn't necessary. All of them got a story and reason as to why they are here. Also respect yourself and family enough to know that it could all be gone a heartbeat.