Chris Rock. View on love and relationships

This may be a little over the top and a little vulgar but really funny. Those that do not like the 'F' word, don't click it.

Bar advice. Sometimes we need to hear the stuff the way it should be told by Chris Rock. Sometimes humour tells it in a clearer way for us to see and hear what we really think.

Happily ever after

In fairy tales we have all heard the words, 'and they lived happily ever after'. well nobody really does, do they? Even the rich can't say that. Remember, more money more problems.

I have seen the pain people experience after the honeymoon is over, when they awaken realizing they have married a mere mortal. I hope people that enter adulthood, will avoid the pitfalls and pain of those who succumb to this "happily ever after" myth. here's a couple of key points for real lasting love.

1. Stop blaming. Start living.
It is our responsibility, and not our partner's, to feel better and to heal. Our partner will be responsible to us, but not for us. So it's useful, instead of blaming our partner, to ask ourselves these two questions, "Why did I draw this person into my life?” and “What is it that I need to learn from this?” Within a good marriage, we grow up.

2. Avoid the fixer-upper syndrome.
We think we can fix our partner and shape them into perfection. Our version of perfection. So many people marry for potential. Never marry potential. Marry for safety, the safety between two people who accept one another faults and all.

3. Make a promise to keep our integrity.
Do not hold onto victim hood like a prize. This doesn't allow us to grow. Work on behaviors that make our partner want to change by being kind and loving. Vent our feelings, without being out of control. If we are in a relationship that does not have mutual respect, over time we may need professional help. Preferably, we would seek that help with our partner.

4. Eliminate attack thoughts.
These types of thoughts are incredibly destructive over time. If we attack other people, ourselves and our thoughts, it really interferes with our happiness and peace of mind.Learn to find the joy, even in difficult times. As Mother Theresa once said, "Our best protection is a joyful heart."

5. Do not hold onto anger.
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. Turn attack thoughts into constructive thoughts and actions. Think thoughts that are appreciative of ourselves and our partner. And express those thoughts often. When we build an emotional bank account full of positive thoughts, we have positive emotional currency to counter with when angry times come.

6. Wake up, without makeup.
On soap operas I’ve seen women wake up first thing in the morning with all their makeup on, false eyelashes and all. That is not the real world. What women need to do for a successful marriage is to learn to be more and more real. What woman need to do for a successful marriage is learn to feel more and more safe to be who we truly are. Men have to realize that beauty is more than skin deep. If she can remove her make up in front of you then you are special to her.

7. Wake up and make up.
It is essential that couples learn to repair and heal after every fight. Find solutions. Do not get stuck rehashing the past. Live in the present, and find ways to keep the marriage buoyant and alive. Happy couples learn how to repair differences. Best thing really is try to never go to bed angry.

8. To change our relationship.
The place to start is with changing ourselves first. Better to reinvent ourselves, because we are not going to be able to change our partner. Learn to love in a mature way without trying to control or manipulate. C.S. Lewis once said, "To love without control or manipulation is to be surprised by joy." We will truly be surprised by joy when we can live in the moment with our partner. And within ourselves.

Bar advice. Remember that before you met your partner he or she had their own life, dreams, hopes, joy, sadness, shortcomings, downfalls, work, business, dilemmas, pains, loss of love ones, happiness, etc. what I'm getting at is you had the same as well. Now when two people are together they should work at it to have the feel of 'happily ever after'.

手袋 Handbags at Amazon

Just to show that these bags are probably making some of the girls drool already. The difference in prices are also crazy. Fashion may drive people to want these things but others end up stealing them just to have it. It's what the magazines and celebrities show that makes people do those things. Don't be roped into this sort of material craze that you end up paying the price for it later.

Go with what your budget can afford. There's alot of stuff out there that looks really good. It may not be Prada but it could look just as good for a lot less. Think about the money you waste that could go into getting useful stuff.

Bar advice. If you really want to then slowly save and get it but keep it properly and use it only for special occasions. Tip for you ladies, buy it in black. Why? It goes with every outfit.

手袋 Handbags

Most women absolutely love handbags. Something which is a bit of a mystery to men. Some women spend thousands of dollars a time on that perfect handbag, so just what is it that drives women to spend so much on such a small, material thing?

It’s All About Fashion!

Handbags have the ability to finish the look of every single outfit. It is completely possible (and for some women a must!), to buy a handbag to suit every single outfit that they own. There is no doubt that celebrities have set the craze, with A-list stars such as Victoria Beckham, Paris Hilton and Sarah Jessica Parker, all out and about daily with a new, flashy bag on their arm.

However, a handbag is not just for fashion purposes. A lot of them are an absolute must for business women. They have to be able to carry important files, make-up and all the latest business tech stuff, which means that the handbag has to be practical! This has led to a huge range of stylish yet practical bags by top designers such as ‘Louis Vetton’, ‘Miu Miu’, and ‘Valentino’.

Handbags really can make a girl feel special and they help to create a look. Whether you are going for an urban chic look, or a girlie girl look, there is a bag out there to suit you. They also ooze confidence and a woman with a stylish handbag generally sends out a confident message.

Many women’s handbag addictions are getting so out of control that they are running out of room in their closet. However, if you fall into this category too, there really is no need to worry. Some companies have designed special handbag holders which basically hang up and you can fit at least six handbags on them!

Bar advice. Handbags are more than likely going to remain popular. Only women can understand how important they are in every day life. So guys,if you really want to spoil the woman in your life, buy her a handbag today!

卹 Compassionate Listner.

It is difficult to become a good listener who both validates the pain of the other, while maintaining the ability to look at themselves. Each person must listen compassionately to themselves and each other.

Within many relationships, rather than engaging in compassionate listening, many couples polarize. One partner is the voice of reason, the head, while the other partner is the voice of emotion, the heart. These patterns often create communication problems, which hardly begins to touch on the angst that can be felt between couples.

While, listening with both our hearts and our heads is valuable, neither is complete by itself, because listening with both makes one complete person. Someone who uses just their head while listening is using their intellect and knowledge, and when used individually, without the hearts part, it can be cold and indifferent. When listening with just the heart compassion turns into confused feelings.

A compassionate listener is someone who listens with both their head and their heart.

Here are traits of a compassionate listener:

They are commited to listening.

They have the intention of understanding, as deeply as possible, the message and concerns of others.

They seek to understand the reality of another through both compassion and understanding.

They refrain from verbal and nonverbal judgments.

They are physically and mentally ready to listen.

They validate their understanding of the other's reality before expressing their opinion.

They create a balance between their head and their heart.

They remain present and are in the here and now.

They are open to new learning experiences about their own behaviors.

They self-evaluate and can laugh at themselves.

Bar advice. It's not easy when one is in a difficult relationship buta good listner becomes a good communicator. Patience, love and understanding are important but communication makes it work.

Tom Green flirts with Sameera Reddy

PART ONE


I just had to show this You Tube clip of her to show the maganetism of this lovely young actress. Note how she makes everyone feel good and she is so approachable. Tom Green was so captivated by Sameera Reddy and was won over by her great smile and friendliness.
PART TWO


Bar advice. Some people, celebrity or not, are just nice. Sure they can have a 'bad' day like all of us but it's nice to know that there are celebs that are 'down to earth' too. Well looking hot helps as well.

Bollywood at the bar.

I've been busy because there was a preparation for a party at the bar. The one thing that I did not know was that there was going to be a celebrity there that night. When I first saw Sameera Reddy she looked familiar but I wasn't sure. I later found out from one of the guys at the party who she was.

I'm not really a Bollywood movie buff. I've seen several films. Have to read the subtitles to know what's going on but women from India are hot on screen. Hollywood, their rival, does have a lot of great women as well but the fact is Bollywood makes more films in a year then Hollywood can. The latter, of course, has the bigger budget and make far better films but every once in a while Bollywood comes out with one great film as well.

Sameera is a new actress on the scene. Some of her movies include Naksha ( Sunny Deol, Vivek Oberoi, Sameera Reddy, Jackie Shroff)Musafir ( Anil Kapoor, Sanjay Dutt, Sameera Reddy, Koena Mitra, Mahesh Manjrekar)Maine Dil Tujhko Diya. I know that she went to film in London and it was a sort of exchange with Emma Button (Spice girls) to do a BBC special on lifestyles of celebrities or something like that.

Back to Sameera. When I spoke to her she was very pleasant. Smiling and allowed me to take a picture with her with my phone. It was really bad too as the pixels weren't that great.She had some pimples on her face, normal for a young lady, but her smile shines through. I found her to be really nice and friendly. First Bollywood star that I've met and it was great. She mingled with the rest of the people there and had quite a number of drinks. It seems she loves a special kind of Japanese liquor drink with plums in it. I can't remember the name though.

I've met other celebrities before but she had to be the friendliest that I've seen up close. She may not be the biggest star around but still. Anyway, she get's 5 stars from me for just being nice and normal.

Bar advice. Most people in this world are just like you and me. Normal. It's the media that makes them untouchable. Well maybe some of their egos as well, but, not all are like that. Last night I met a sweet, lovely young lady who happens to be Sameera Reddy from Bollywood.

感觉满意 Feeling satisfied

Aristotle once said happiness is the 'desire behind all other desires'. To feel happy is to feel fulfilled, content, at peace and utterly satisfied. And as it turns out, the majority, about 77 percent of us, are either extremely or somewhat happy with our lives in general.

Still, many of us strive to reach even a fair level of satisfaction in our lives, yet end up falling short and looking for more. For those still struggling to find contentment, what is the key to getting there?

Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not making money, it’s not going shopping, it’s not even enjoying a good meal. What it is is surrounding yourself with experiences that create what the relatively new field of positive psychology has coined as 'flow'.

Finding 'Flow' in Your Life, and Why You Need it to Feel Happy

'Flow' is the elated feeling you experience when you’ve just had a completely gratifying experience. According to the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center, “Engaging in an experience that produces ‘flow’ is so gratifying that people are willing to do it for its own sake, rather than for what they will get out of it. The activity is its own reward.”

This may sound rather abstract, but it’s not. There are very specific ways to reach the feeling of 'flow', and they include:

• Having a purpose: Engaging in a challenging activity that your skills are suited for
• Using your skills to pursue a clear goal
• Getting immediate feedback on progress toward the goal
• Maintaining clear markers of achievement toward your goal

In other words, engaging yourself in activities that are challenging, that give you purpose, and that you get positive feedback from (meaning you are successful at them) is key to feeling fulfilled.

When you think about this scenario, you realize that it can be applied to just about anything in your life. Career is the obvious one, but it also expands to your personal relationships, fitness level, self-fulfillment, organization, even planning a vacation or planting a garden.

In such an activity, concentration is fully engaged in the moment, self-awareness disappears, and sense of time is distorted, according to the Positive Psychology Center.

Finding Your Focus

To find the activities that will give you 'flow', or, perhaps to make it so that every activity you engage yourself in makes you feel satisfied, it is necessary to first release negative, self-sabotaging emotions. These feelings, such as fear, anger, guilt, anxiety or sadness, do nothing but hold us back, and you can only feel truly free to surround yourself with love, happiness, and peace when you let them go.

Letting go of negativity is much easier than it sounds but scientifically proven to help you release negative thoughts and behaviors and, in their place, create a solid, positive mental attitude.

Studies have also found that the following acts also contribute to feelings of satisfaction, elation and happiness.

• Express gratitude often
• Do good deeds for others
• Keep an optimistic attitude
• Use your strengths toward something of importance (such as tutoring, cleaning up the environment or volunteering at a charity)

Bar advice.To keep yourself feeling good and satisfeied with life at this moment. Help someone else. You'll see that what you give returns to you ten fold. Don't do it in anticipation of rewards but for bringing joy to others and in turn you will receive as well.