卹 Compassionate Listner.

It is difficult to become a good listener who both validates the pain of the other, while maintaining the ability to look at themselves. Each person must listen compassionately to themselves and each other.

Within many relationships, rather than engaging in compassionate listening, many couples polarize. One partner is the voice of reason, the head, while the other partner is the voice of emotion, the heart. These patterns often create communication problems, which hardly begins to touch on the angst that can be felt between couples.

While, listening with both our hearts and our heads is valuable, neither is complete by itself, because listening with both makes one complete person. Someone who uses just their head while listening is using their intellect and knowledge, and when used individually, without the hearts part, it can be cold and indifferent. When listening with just the heart compassion turns into confused feelings.

A compassionate listener is someone who listens with both their head and their heart.

Here are traits of a compassionate listener:

They are commited to listening.

They have the intention of understanding, as deeply as possible, the message and concerns of others.

They seek to understand the reality of another through both compassion and understanding.

They refrain from verbal and nonverbal judgments.

They are physically and mentally ready to listen.

They validate their understanding of the other's reality before expressing their opinion.

They create a balance between their head and their heart.

They remain present and are in the here and now.

They are open to new learning experiences about their own behaviors.

They self-evaluate and can laugh at themselves.

Bar advice. It's not easy when one is in a difficult relationship buta good listner becomes a good communicator. Patience, love and understanding are important but communication makes it work.

Here women can better understand men so that they can have genuine, authentic relationships once the differences are understood. It takes away a lot of the guesswork, and bring valuable advice, tests, questions, and answers that will help women be authentic, real, and genuine while learning how to relate to the man they are with, once they understand their basic inherent differences.

There are a lot of interviews with men in this book that provide the basis for what turns them off, and how they genuinely want to share in an authentic relationship with a woman who is real, as opposed to setting a trap, or manipulating them. Highly recommended for its authenticity and valuable insight.

Bar advice.Somethings your mother's did not teach you, probably because they didn't know themselves, and you need to know. This is a great book for anyone who is going to have a relationship. Never underestimate the power of knowledge.