The zero game

Well, in the rough, tough game of game of women, one thing can be true. The zero game but one big zero that is going to make it really hard for you to score is if you are in any way ashamed of sex or your sexuality. That is because women have been taught on a lot of levels to be ashamed of sex also. They are not rewarded for acting sexually in public for example. Think of what happens when they even dress too revealing. They get labeled as sluts and get scorned by older women, peers and even a lot of men.

In some extreme cases, women are taught by their parents that their genitals are some how "dirty", etc. In other words a taboo subject or something not to be seen or talked about. There are many other examples you can probably think of. It is rare that you meet a truly liberated woman who is totally free of any kind of residual shame about sex, or at least negative consequences of acting like she is not ashamed of it. What this means is that often you as a man will have to be the balancing force in the equation, the one that is very comfortable with the idea of how awesome and natural sex is. You have to be the one who will "take the blame" for taking about it, starting it,etc. The more repressed she might be, the more positive you have to balance the equation. The problem though is that somehow modern culture is telling a lot of guys to turn off their sexuality in order to act like a "nice guy".

Many guys who was under this mistaken assumption that if they acted like they didn't want sex outside of marriage or a really committed relationship then they would make themself look nice enough for her to want to date. Even though sex is what you want in the end, you're ashamed to admit it to her for fear she would think that was all you wanted or that you're a pervert. The truth is, if you act ashamed of sex in any way, then it will be extremely hard for things to get sexual with you and the average woman. For the rare females who really do want sex, they will get bored and find a guy who does want it. The ones who are ashamed will just go along with your frame or have it much later than you both might really want.

What instead needs to happen is that you have to in effect "take responsibility" for any of the shame of sex. It means that your actions and the things you say have to communicate to her things like this. "It is not your fault if you and I end up making love". "You are not a slut for having slept with me". "Other people don't have to know about this, nobody else will think any less of you". "I know that you don't do this with other guys and what we are doing is new for you". "I really enjoy being with you sexually, I hope you do too".

Talking to her, you would not say these things exactly, but the deeper message would be the same. You basically have to relieve her of any guilt she might feel and let her know there will be nothing bad that comes from it. Lets look at a verbal example, while you are making out with her, she might tell you "we shouldn't be doing this". In that case, you can assure her that you know she's "a good girl" and the blame is shifted off her shoulders. What about an example that shows you like sex through your actions? Here's an example. Let's say you are flipping through the pages of a magazine and sexy images appear of men and women, possibly nude, and she's around and saw it too. If you keep going and act like it was never there, you are acting ashamed of sex. You get a ZERO!

The point here really is to focus on the fact that sex is natural. The human body can be seen in this manner as well. Women are not going to jump into bed with you just becuase it is but if they see that you see it as such and they begin to feel comfortable that way then things will change. They will find it not so taboo a subject, there's nothing "dirty" about it or their bodies, they're not going to listen to mummy's old folks advice and sex is nothing to be ashmed of. No more zeros after that lesson!

Bar advice. If you add up all the points here and you come up with zero. The games over for you. Than again you could just restart from zero, upwards.

Women love sex just as much as men do

Let me share some insights into the psychology and biology of women with you today. Insights that will really help you guys. The title almost says it all. Women love sex just as much as men do. I might have to convince you of this and explain how you guys can use it to your advantage.

You might find it hard to believe that women love sex as much as men do. If that were true, you might be asking why isn't it easier to get women to go to bed with you, right? If it were not for some elusive facts of biology, it really would be easy, but it's not. When women go up to men and say something along the lines of "Hi, I like you, would you like to sleep with me?" something like 99% of the men will say yes. However, when the roles were reversed, women will probably say no when men ask the same question. The reason is that women are essentially genetically programmed to be really picky about who they have sex with. It is all a supply and demand equation, because women only have a limited supply of chances to reproduce, most women can't have more than say ten children in their lives, and the act of childbirth could kill them too, so you can add 'evolved fear' into the low supply problem.

If that wasn't enough, there are a lot of social consequences that women have to deal with when they have sex with men. They can get labeled as sluts, whores, cheap or easy for having sex with more than one guy. By contrast, as men we can pretty much have hundreds of children if given the chance. Our "supply" of reproduction capability is just about limitless compared to that of women. Having sex with lots of women usually gets guys labeled as studs, top dog and so on, at least with male friends. So you put all this together and you can understand why women are picky and almost seem like they don't like or want sex as much as men do. In reality they do.

The main difference is that men want more partners(quantity), women want better 'quality' partners. OK, so you understand this now, lets really reinforce this idea that women like sex just as much as men do. This is also due to evolution. Both sexes are rewarded with lots of pleasure for sex, its one way that our genes have programmed us to help pass themselves along to the next generation. In fact, I would say that women can get more pleasure out of sex than men. I mean, come on, which sex can have more fun with a showerhead or vibrator? Also, which sex can have multiple, prolonged orgasms, and sometimes they just need another female to get this? These are all things I have witnessed personally in my life and as such I have no doubt that, done properly, sex causes more overall pleasure for women. Scientifically it also prolongs lifespans of people. Women especially.

Women want(keyword) sex just as much as men. So now that you have this fact in mind, how do you use it? The answer is simple, you constantly have the attitude in mind that women want sex just as much or more than men do and in every interaction that you have with them, you keep this in mind. (Please don't go thinking about it in a perverted manner.) Also, keep in mind that a women has to preserve her modesty. Her mother thought her to be a lady and not go with any boy because they just want one thing. We know what that is but actually she wants it too but she'll only give it to you if you are worthy of her. Sp you see, it is simple, but it has really powerful effects. It makes the balance of power more equal in all your interactions with women. Let's look at how this works.

I can remember when I didn't understand how much women love and want sex, and so I used to always think that I was trying to get them to do something they didn't want to do as much as I did. What happens when somebody wants something more than the other person? They are willing to go to much effort to get it. In the case of women, it gets worse if you act like this and put in too much effort, because they then assume on some level that you don't get much of it either(otherwise why would you be trying so hard?), and by extension that there must be some reason for that, like something is wrong with you on some level. Which makes them withhold sex from you more, which makes you try harder, which makes them withhold even more, and what you end up with is a permanent case of blue balls. When you take the frame one step further and understand and believe that women want and love sex more than men do, then you can amazingly flip the roles in the above situation.

Your actions indicate to her that you know she wants you more. You interpret her actions as her wanting you too much, and you pull away a bit. She sees this and thinks on a deeper level that you must have a lot of options with women, so she chases you a bit more, you retreat, she pursues harder, and you eventually succumb since that was your plan all along. Of course, there is a lot more to learn about exactly how to reverse this role with women, and it is a big part of what you need to understand about this method. The simple take away for today is that you need to understand and believe that women want sex as much or more than men do.

Be sure to never force the issue. Women are very delicate creatures and a lot of them need refined tenderness and thoughtfullness. I know of some women that can be a wild tigeress in bed but she puts on the facade of a pussycat to see wheather you are worthy of herself and why you are deserving to be with her. She wants it but she likes to tease and when she, and only she, is willing she'll let you have it.

Bar advice. I'm sure the women reading this will agree with me a huge amount but it's just help for some of the guys that "don't get it".

The safety man

You see it all the time at bars & clubs. A group of girls, sometimes just three or as many as five or six, with one sole guy in their group. You may think this guy is "with" one of the girls but many times he's not, unless his name is Hugh Hefner.

He is tagging along, but why? What are his reasons? Usually it's one of only two reasons. He's infatuated with one of the girls in the group, hoping to hook up with her or he's hoping to improve his odds with any of the girls in the group. The vast majority of the time, however, in fact the most probable outcome is, he will not achieve anything. He will not get any further along with any of the girls than he'd gotten before. If it were possible for him, he'd have known how to do it already and not need to waste time grasping at such flimsy opportunities rather than taking initiative at other times. So why do the group of girls take him along on their "girl's nightout" when none of them have any preconceived intentions to hook upwith him?

One of them(rarely) may very well actually like him in "that way" (all the girls in the group will already know about it) and think this will be an opportunity for him to bust a move (he won't or he will do it pathetically).Commonly, they need a "safety man". What is a "safety man"? A safety man is a guy girls will have in their group for the sole purpose of allowing them to focus on their "girl's night out without the distraction of guys they don't like "hitting on them". To most men, the safety man is ambiguously with all the girls and may be the boyfriend of one of them or may be the boyfriend of the one they might be interested in. Most guys fear the repercussions of approaching a girl who may bewith her boyfriend, so the safety man acts as a sort of "always a shield" for the girls in the group.

When one of them happens to see a guy she may be interested in, the girls all have their social dynamics well in sync to know how to "lower the safety man shield" to make their group(or a certain girl in the group) less intimidating to approach. That's pretty much it. Girls are so sneaky, arent they? But why would I want to talk about this subject? I want people to avoid falling into the trap of being the safety man and to consider taking advantage of the opportunities in ways you may not have considered before.

If you're dating one of the girls(and getting sex from her), then great, enjoy yourself and make sure you're out with them because you have fun and not because you're insecure about whether your girlfriend will cheat on you. If not, why be the safety man for them at all? Unless you want to boost your image to other women at the clubs and get to know them. That's what you ought to be doing. If you're sleeping with the whole entourage of girls than there's nothing to be said. If not, and you have been made the safety man, you'll find other women around easier to approach and talk to. Women will see you as non treating, liked by other women and they'll wonder what is it that other women in the group see in you to have you around. Curiosity will get the better of them so turm up the charm and smile. Phone numbers are going to be slipped to you.

Bar advice. Letting the girls have you as a safety man is one of the best ways of getting to know other women unless you're already attached to one of them.

Using technology when meeting people.

Recently I got to know this lovely model cum porn star. She does a lot of photo shoots with clothes on but she does nude stuff as well. At first I didn't know that she did all this but when I got to see some of her "normal" sexy pictures I was really impressed with her. She's actually Japanese but living somewhere else(not saying) and is still studying.
Talking to this girl is not easy. She's highly in demand and I assume a lot of guys are interested to talk with her but she's told me that she doesn't like to chat with people all that much via the Internet. I try not to bother her too much because I don't want to loose her as a friend. Never met a porn star before so, as a guy, you can't blame me for fantasizing. She actually agreed to meet me if I did come around to where she was staying but I would have to give her ample notice. At least two months. Can you believe that?

I managed to get this short video. Maybe even some of you girls will get turned on. I know the guys will. All the other videos are not really hardcore videos but more soft porn than anything else. While using technology when meeting people can be easier, it also gives people methods of expression that tells people who they are and not be afraid about it. We can be repulsed or condone this but we have to accept that people's choices are their own.

01
Uploaded by Bar-Advice

Bar advice. You never know who you'll meet online. Sometimes people that seem unreachable wants a friend.

Talking to strangers

So many of us find it difficult, some nearly even impossible, to start talking to strangers. Maybe because it was so ingrained in us as kids that it was dangerous to do so, or maybe precisely the opposite. Maybe as adults we're all too aware of the sting of rejection.

Whatever the case, in the grown-up world, one without unnecessary ego attachments, there's nothing wrong with chatting up that cute girl or hot guy who's caught your eye. In fact, you may be missing out on an opportunity if you don't at least smile and say hello. You never know if they may be looking for a good person in their lives as well.On that note, believe it or not, the best thing to do might just be that simple. Smile. Yes, smile but sincerely. You know, not that plastered on,"I'm terrified doing this", kind of smile but rather a genuine warm greeting and say "hello". Ask how they are. Ask if they come there often (ironically of course because you both know you see each other in this space almost everyday). Just come out with small talk that hopefully makes sense and doesn't show your nerves. Be natural and if you make or say something dumb, laugh it off because the other person is probably feeling the same at that moment as well. They'll understand. You won't look stupid.

If it's the first time you're noticing this person, don't let that stop you. A little common everyday friendliness will help. Mention uncharacteristic weather, a headline in the news (particularly if a paper's in sight) or even the traffic and the door is opened to communication. Remember, your "pick up line" need not be a line at all (in fact, it shouldn't be), nor does it have to be the most creative conversation in the world. The point is to let the person know you've noticed them and have a conversation. Girls, especialy, should know that men will jump into a conversation if they initiate it because guys are worse in the approach game. They get all tongue tighed and the blurr state or stage fright syndrome takes over and they fear looking like a complete moron so they say nothing.

If you're still searching, take note of common ground. Even though the person in question may be a stranger, there's no doubt you share something in common. If you're at a certain place than you both go there often but if at that moment, it must be for a purpose. So try to get up the nerve to say something before the moment slips. Just remember, don't be afraid at what's the worst that can happen. Even they not responding in a friendly fashion or they completely ignore you. If that's the case, you're not really interested anyway, are you? Move on.

If you aren't particularly shy and can take it past a smile and hello, make your introduction more personal by noticing and commenting on something specific about your potential paramour. Are they wearing a new coat? Did they get a haircut? Do you always notice their shoes,dog,hair, beverage of choice? Whatever the detail, ask about it. Compliment it. Show, casually of course without seeming stalker like, that you've paid attention to them in the past or that you're paying attention at that moment. A person who is similarly interested will take the hint most of the time. They'll start to be interested in someone that notices them.

Lastly, if this whole idea makes you nervous, ask yourself why? What have you got to lose? Better to try talking and get no response than wonder about that "missed chance", right? If it helps, remember that people who are skilled at talking with strangers rarely plumb the depths with them in casual conversation. They start simple. They smile. They comment on the world around them. Then they find out, courtesy of the universe and its energy, that great things can happen when you're not afraid to reach out for the smallest human connection.

Bar advice. Technology makes the world a smaller place but if you can't communicate with another person in front of you, your world is still huge.

How to Turn Rejection Into Opportunity

You see, the thing about rejection is that it’s only a negative thing if you allow it to be. Sure, it feels lousy at first, but underneath that rejection is an opportunity that can change you for the better. What you feel and what you can do about it is two different things. So how to turn rejection into opportunity?

Ask for an Explanation. If you’re turned down for a job or a raise, calmly and coolly ask the rejecting person why. The reasons may have nothing to do with you (such as budget issues) or, if they do, you’ll be able to use this information to improve for next time. Resist Taking it Personally! It is important to realize that whatever someone says or does that appears to cause you pain is often, if not always, not personal. So if you’re feeling like the rejection is a personal affront to your character, let it go. Learning to let go is actually a simple process that is ingrained in all of us. However, most up us need to relearn the powerful act of letting go.

Let go of wanting to change what happened. If you’re wishing that you were the center of attention in your office, or envying the person who got your promotion, the colleague that dresses better, etc, you are only making matters worse. Let go of wanting to change what the others are doing or not doing, and allow yourself to let go of the feeling of being rejected. You cannot feel others rejecting you, you can only feel your rejecting them back. So let go of wanting to reject them back, and then notice how you relax and lose interest in what they think. You will also find that they begin treat you with much more love and respect.

Take back control. Being rejected can make you feel like a victim but you have been in control all along. The more you learn to let go of your hurt feelings, the more you will realize that only you have the power to determine how you feel. So rather than letting a rejection get you down, use the failure as a stepping stone to your future success.

Now lets look at the situation in a personal capacity when involved with someone. If you're trying to build a relationship with a person and they reject your offer of either getting together, going on a date or becoming more than friends, let it be. Don't let it chew you up inside. The world is made up of all sorts of people. You may not be their type. They may not like the way you look, dress or even talk. You don't expect to go up to Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt and they like you above all other persons, would you? If they rejected you, wouldn't you except it because they said so and move on? Sure you will. A celebrity, however, is no different than anyone else so why let it eat you up inside? If you can accept the rejection from a celeb(and I don't mean that they are any better) why not a normal person?

Shake it off and move on. People are sometimes hurt because the rejection comes a little later into knowing a person. They may have been going out for a while. They also could have been having sex. The rejection by one person may be due to indifference's about lifestyle issues or possibly their ideals of a spouse and partner. It's just one of those things where people find that it's not working out the way they like it to be. Maybe their "space" is being compromised. They may not be ready for a commitment or one is rushing the relationship and the other is feeling trapped. Whatever the rejection reason is one must respect the others decision. Take a bow and leave even with your head held high.

Bar advice. The rejection is sometimes lessons well learned. It makes a person better and brings tested feelings into light. Look into that light for better things to come.

Relationship advice by zodiac compatibility

The compatibility of someone in a relationship is something that we all want. Lots of people do follow with zodiac sign charts to find a mate. Sometimes you even got a nagging mother that tells you the "stars" can guide you to find your soul mate. Here's my relationship advice by zodiac compatibility. Maybe there's something or even nothing to all this but lets just see what sort of person you may be dealing with and what to expect in the mystical relationship.

Aquarius
This sign loves humanity as a whole, and first must love a friend before they become a partner. Independence and freedom loving, they are fully and completely loyal, once committed or married. They expect their partners to share the responsibilities of home and family as well as have common goals for the relationship.

Pisces
Love is the fuel that energizes Pisces into a lasting commitment. For Pisces, love, affection and romance are a package deal. These dreamy romantics need assurance that they are loved, and do not handle rejection from their partners very well. Pisces makes a very sensitive and understanding partner who will be loyal as long as the romance remains.

Aries
The thrill of the chase and the challenge of love as well as the passion of romance are on this possessive sign's priority list. In relationships Aries are demanding. They don't don't want to be controlled and it's important for them to feel that they come first. Aries expect fidelity and loyalty from their mates, and are more than willing to give the same. As long as the relationship is exciting and supportive, the union is bound to be strong.

Taurus
Taurus love is sensual and physical, devoted and steady. A Taurus will settle for no less than absolute loyalty, and likes a relationship that is stable and has a sense of routine. You won't find a Taurus spending time on frivolous affairs, instead they invest in long-term, long-haul relationships. When things get tough, a Taurus tends to be loyal to their commitments.

Gemini
Romantics in search of the perfect love or soul mate, their charismatic and flirty nature allows them to enjoy their affairs, until they believe they have found a supportive and faithful partner who loves to listen. When they do find love, its because these ultra sensitive types, have given the situation much thought.

Cancer
Happiest when they feel needed, Cancer loves to love, and be loved. They have a strong sense of family and tradition, and offer equally strong feelings of acceptance in return, especially when their partner is totally devoted. They can be emotional and sensitive to others or the other way around but it's the price you pay for having a partner who will go to extremes to never let you down. One of the better signs.



Leo
Drama is present in Leo-love. They will fight to the death to protect a loved one, and offer their undying support and loyalty. As long as their egos are fed a healthy diet of romance, praise and devotion, they will make sacrifices to make sure that the one they are committed to can depend on them for happiness and comfort.

Virgo
These sensible and practical people, take the same approach to love and commitment. While a Virgo may wait for years to find love, once they do, their partner tends to be the love of their life. Virgo love is warm and steady, committed and trustworthy. As long as Virgos are treated with care, honesty, and respect, you can expect a strong and steady union for life.

Libra
Love makes the Libra world go round. They thrive on love and romance, and will go to great lengths to avoid hurting the ones they love. Faithful and loyal, when they feel appreciated - Libras expect a partnership to be harmonious. They can be emotionally dependent on their partners, but ask for no more than they are willing to give freely.

Scorpio
Committed and in love, Scorpio can be intensely passionate - and intensely confusing. While they are very exciting, they have a way of hiding their emotions which can cause a bit of confusion. They expect faithfulness and loyalty, and they in return will be deeply connected to their partner. And when they feel secure, they may even let you in on their ever-present secrets.

Sagittarius
Love is an adventure to Sagittarius, and they prefer not to be tied down. Sagittarius needs a partner who can intellectually stimulate them, make them feel secure and keep things exciting. Sagittarius will commit to the right person, but that person has to be secure in knowing that freedom is Sagittarius' first love, and that must be respected for any commitment to be a lasting one.

Capricorn
Capricorn love is an inspiration. While they love deeply and fully, they may not be the most open expressing these details. Any commitments to a Capricorn are expected to be long-term and generally involve the promise of family. They expect loyalty and support from their partner, and prefer to be more dominant than passive in the relationship.

Bar advice. They say opposites attract. The truth is that's really the case in the zodiac love compatibility madness. It's complicated but their way makes people balanced in life.

Strained relationships

Laying the foundation in the beginning is the first step to a successful relationship. Foundations based on stability offer a rewarding, long-lasting relationship, while unstable foundations lead to break-ups. If you can sit down and talk through your problems, this is the best solution and it will save the couple's relationship. Talking is the mark of eliminating problems, while frustration comes from those who don't have the skills to communicate.

Incompatibility can lead to break-ups, thus weighing out your relationship carefully before beginning a relationship can prevent disaster. If you are already involved in a sour relationship, more than likely, you will need to evaluate the compatibilities. You do have the options of working through the incompatibilities or getting out.

Compatibility extends to family history. If you are suffering problems due to family quarrels, the ride gets strenuous. Families that tend to like the person their child is with, is less likely to give you problems. Strained relationships are painful when families butt into their business frequently. Many people who begin relationships and have been with their mate for sometime may find that neither party is compatible. The relationship can still work if the two of you communicate and comprise a plan that both can agree on. Read up about good relationships by buying books that offer a good strategy for the incompatible couples. This is because sometimes one side thinks the partner is not as compatible.

Many times people commit to relationships with the idea that they can change the other person later. This is not good. Either you like whom you meet, or you do not. No one can change another human being, the person must have the desire to change him or her self, and the first step to change is acceptance and then willingness to make the changes. Remember that this person, any person for that matter, is not going to have all the qualities that you desire. Does it mean they're not right for you? One should be sceptical of those who vow to change for you. Often the promises are not met or the person has hidden intentions that could be forced onto you later.

Working toward a strained free relationship is only possible if you're willing to tell yourself that it may not last. You're both discovering each others faults and finesse. The move toward having sex is not a good idea if the person or you, or even at the slightest hint, feels that it not the right time. There may the pressure that you place upon yourself to partake in the sexual act but that makes the physical body and the spiritual separated during intercourse. Does having sex mean that the relationship will be sealed, bonded and inseparably?

If you are a dreamer, you may look at your mate as a fantasy. This is not good either. You lose the benefits by not getting to know the person you have mated with or you wake up from your dream and find that you made a serious mistake. The main focus to keep in mind are communication, spending quality time, stay focused, and lay a good foundation for your relationship. Keep it honest and learn to trust one another with unselfish motives. Selfishness can lead to various problems, including adultery, murder, fornication, theft, and so forth. Thus, selfishness is one of the leading causes of break ups in relationships and marriage.

Sharing plays a large part in love and relationships. When two people share, they are giving something to the other that leaves a lasting feeling of joy and love. Do not count or take stock as to what you gave or did for your partner. It should be given or done without the need to receive anything in return. If both are on this same wave length, well guess what happens? Two people working together without selfishness often builds a relationship on solid ground and often endure through tribulations, sad moments and so forth. Relationships built on solid foundations rarely fall apart when trouble comes their way. Thus, enhance your strained relationship or get out!

Bar advice. Having your ideals is nice but sometimes the person least likely may just turn out to be the person that's really who you need in your life. Don't let your heart be blinded.