This is a continuation of people that are inquisitive about the taboo subject of anal sex. It may help with some of the questions for those trying to get your partner to have it with you. Don't get me wrong, there's also a lot of girls that are happy doing it and will want you to do it or expect you to.
Probably the slow approach is best. Some girls that may already have done it and want's to do it with you may not tell you that they like it or want it at first so that they don't look eager. After all they don't want to be seen as sluty or easy. Taking it slower is best and all will come together.
The taboo about this subject is something that covers it being "bad", "not good", "evil", "not done by others", "immoral" and so on. These taboos are normal and natural to expect because this was designed as an "out hole" and not an "in hole". Check all avenues to clear your minds of what you need to know. Also check out www.askdanandjennifer.com for more help. Lets hope these two You Tube videos are some help in the matter.
Bar advice. What you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is up to you. Just remember that a girl showing her leg above the knee use to be taboo. Would you consider it silly today?
Showing posts with label taboo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label taboo. Show all posts
Monday, February 25, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
The zero game
Well, in the rough, tough game of game of women, one thing can be true. The zero game but one big zero that is going to make it really hard for you to score is if you are in any way ashamed of sex or your sexuality. That is because women have been taught on a lot of levels to be ashamed of sex also. They are not rewarded for acting sexually in public for example. Think of what happens when they even dress too revealing. They get labeled as sluts and get scorned by older women, peers and even a lot of men.
In some extreme cases, women are taught by their parents that their genitals are some how "dirty", etc. In other words a taboo subject or something not to be seen or talked about. There are many other examples you can probably think of. It is rare that you meet a truly liberated woman who is totally free of any kind of residual shame about sex, or at least negative consequences of acting like she is not ashamed of it. What this means is that often you as a man will have to be the balancing force in the equation, the one that is very comfortable with the idea of how awesome and natural sex is. You have to be the one who will "take the blame" for taking about it, starting it,etc. The more repressed she might be, the more positive you have to balance the equation. The problem though is that somehow modern culture is telling a lot of guys to turn off their sexuality in order to act like a "nice guy".
Many guys who was under this mistaken assumption that if they acted like they didn't want sex outside of marriage or a really committed relationship then they would make themself look nice enough for her to want to date. Even though sex is what you want in the end, you're ashamed to admit it to her for fear she would think that was all you wanted or that you're a pervert. The truth is, if you act ashamed of sex in any way, then it will be extremely hard for things to get sexual with you and the average woman. For the rare females who really do want sex, they will get bored and find a guy who does want it. The ones who are ashamed will just go along with your frame or have it much later than you both might really want.
What instead needs to happen is that you have to in effect "take responsibility" for any of the shame of sex. It means that your actions and the things you say have to communicate to her things like this. "It is not your fault if you and I end up making love". "You are not a slut for having slept with me". "Other people don't have to know about this, nobody else will think any less of you". "I know that you don't do this with other guys and what we are doing is new for you". "I really enjoy being with you sexually, I hope you do too".
Talking to her, you would not say these things exactly, but the deeper message would be the same. You basically have to relieve her of any guilt she might feel and let her know there will be nothing bad that comes from it. Lets look at a verbal example, while you are making out with her, she might tell you "we shouldn't be doing this". In that case, you can assure her that you know she's "a good girl" and the blame is shifted off her shoulders. What about an example that shows you like sex through your actions? Here's an example. Let's say you are flipping through the pages of a magazine and sexy images appear of men and women, possibly nude, and she's around and saw it too. If you keep going and act like it was never there, you are acting ashamed of sex. You get a ZERO!
The point here really is to focus on the fact that sex is natural. The human body can be seen in this manner as well. Women are not going to jump into bed with you just becuase it is but if they see that you see it as such and they begin to feel comfortable that way then things will change. They will find it not so taboo a subject, there's nothing "dirty" about it or their bodies, they're not going to listen to mummy's old folks advice and sex is nothing to be ashmed of. No more zeros after that lesson!
Bar advice. If you add up all the points here and you come up with zero. The games over for you. Than again you could just restart from zero, upwards.
In some extreme cases, women are taught by their parents that their genitals are some how "dirty", etc. In other words a taboo subject or something not to be seen or talked about. There are many other examples you can probably think of. It is rare that you meet a truly liberated woman who is totally free of any kind of residual shame about sex, or at least negative consequences of acting like she is not ashamed of it. What this means is that often you as a man will have to be the balancing force in the equation, the one that is very comfortable with the idea of how awesome and natural sex is. You have to be the one who will "take the blame" for taking about it, starting it,etc. The more repressed she might be, the more positive you have to balance the equation. The problem though is that somehow modern culture is telling a lot of guys to turn off their sexuality in order to act like a "nice guy". Many guys who was under this mistaken assumption that if they acted like they didn't want sex outside of marriage or a really committed relationship then they would make themself look nice enough for her to want to date. Even though sex is what you want in the end, you're ashamed to admit it to her for fear she would think that was all you wanted or that you're a pervert. The truth is, if you act ashamed of sex in any way, then it will be extremely hard for things to get sexual with you and the average woman. For the rare females who really do want sex, they will get bored and find a guy who does want it. The ones who are ashamed will just go along with your frame or have it much later than you both might really want.
What instead needs to happen is that you have to in effect "take responsibility" for any of the shame of sex. It means that your actions and the things you say have to communicate to her things like this. "It is not your fault if you and I end up making love". "You are not a slut for having slept with me". "Other people don't have to know about this, nobody else will think any less of you". "I know that you don't do this with other guys and what we are doing is new for you". "I really enjoy being with you sexually, I hope you do too".
Talking to her, you would not say these things exactly, but the deeper message would be the same. You basically have to relieve her of any guilt she might feel and let her know there will be nothing bad that comes from it. Lets look at a verbal example, while you are making out with her, she might tell you "we shouldn't be doing this". In that case, you can assure her that you know she's "a good girl" and the blame is shifted off her shoulders. What about an example that shows you like sex through your actions? Here's an example. Let's say you are flipping through the pages of a magazine and sexy images appear of men and women, possibly nude, and she's around and saw it too. If you keep going and act like it was never there, you are acting ashamed of sex. You get a ZERO!The point here really is to focus on the fact that sex is natural. The human body can be seen in this manner as well. Women are not going to jump into bed with you just becuase it is but if they see that you see it as such and they begin to feel comfortable that way then things will change. They will find it not so taboo a subject, there's nothing "dirty" about it or their bodies, they're not going to listen to mummy's old folks advice and sex is nothing to be ashmed of. No more zeros after that lesson!
Bar advice. If you add up all the points here and you come up with zero. The games over for you. Than again you could just restart from zero, upwards.
Monday, September 24, 2007
The gay issue Part 1
I haven't touched on this much. Just a little on lesbians. I'm not so it's hard to really comment on the subject. However, I've met lots of people that are and there's people that have lots of gay friends as well. Gay people find it very hard to meet up with each other as many people keep it a secret about what their sexual orientation is. This is to save themselves from harassment or prejudice. Although in this day and age they really do have nothing to worry about.
Many gay people find that the Internet is a great resource for finding gay partners. The Internet allows you to be who you want to be without prejudice so you can openly admit to being gay and not suffer any of the repercussions. A lot of Internet dating sites have hundreds of gay members and they organise what is called ‘meets’.
Meets are events that gay people can go to and find other gays. It is simply a get together for both men or women who are interested in finding either a short or long term partner. These meets make it so much easier for gay people to find someone as no one is worried what anyone thinks of them as they are all the same and looking for the same thing.
Meets are fantastic events, any company that holds them is making a great effort to show that it doesn't matter who you are you are still entitled to be with someone and not be alone, and that it should not matter what your sexual preference is. While dating sites are the most typical sites to offer this service you can find specialist websites that specialise in this sort of thing.
Gay "meets" are there for all gay men and lesbians. It is simply like a large party where no one is or should be afraid to be themselves. To find your nearest gay meet or party just simply log online to some of the better know ones. You'll be surprised at who's there.
The world still sees this as taboo. The gay men get it worse because we live in a male dominated society where the men see themselves as the bread winners and the stronger sex. The thought of sharing the same locker room with a gay man sends shivers down some of their backs. With all that male ego, strength and brute you'd think they were girls if you saw their faces. Why than do they act badly towards gay people this way?
I can't say for sure but a lot just has to do with the insecurity of themselves. The need to be normal and to be seen by others as a stand up man or woman. There is suppose to be a harmonious unity among family members but if just one is gay, it seems like the whole family is put to shame. The stigma of wrong doing is placed on that family and so this makes gay people turn to secrecy. Never having to be found out is better than exposing one's self and shaming the family. These are just some of the things that they dodge daily.
Hence, the need for the "meets" and places that set them up. It's really just a gathering of people trying to date and make themselves part of the normal routine of relationships that they see when they walk out the front door. Next time we will talk a little deeper into the subject.
Bar advice. We live in a world where nobody and I mean nobody likes to be alone. Gay people are also normal people. My advice is, yes they have to change in many ways but normal people have to as well.
Many gay people find that the Internet is a great resource for finding gay partners. The Internet allows you to be who you want to be without prejudice so you can openly admit to being gay and not suffer any of the repercussions. A lot of Internet dating sites have hundreds of gay members and they organise what is called ‘meets’.
Meets are events that gay people can go to and find other gays. It is simply a get together for both men or women who are interested in finding either a short or long term partner. These meets make it so much easier for gay people to find someone as no one is worried what anyone thinks of them as they are all the same and looking for the same thing.
Meets are fantastic events, any company that holds them is making a great effort to show that it doesn't matter who you are you are still entitled to be with someone and not be alone, and that it should not matter what your sexual preference is. While dating sites are the most typical sites to offer this service you can find specialist websites that specialise in this sort of thing.
Gay "meets" are there for all gay men and lesbians. It is simply like a large party where no one is or should be afraid to be themselves. To find your nearest gay meet or party just simply log online to some of the better know ones. You'll be surprised at who's there.
The world still sees this as taboo. The gay men get it worse because we live in a male dominated society where the men see themselves as the bread winners and the stronger sex. The thought of sharing the same locker room with a gay man sends shivers down some of their backs. With all that male ego, strength and brute you'd think they were girls if you saw their faces. Why than do they act badly towards gay people this way?
I can't say for sure but a lot just has to do with the insecurity of themselves. The need to be normal and to be seen by others as a stand up man or woman. There is suppose to be a harmonious unity among family members but if just one is gay, it seems like the whole family is put to shame. The stigma of wrong doing is placed on that family and so this makes gay people turn to secrecy. Never having to be found out is better than exposing one's self and shaming the family. These are just some of the things that they dodge daily.
Hence, the need for the "meets" and places that set them up. It's really just a gathering of people trying to date and make themselves part of the normal routine of relationships that they see when they walk out the front door. Next time we will talk a little deeper into the subject.
Bar advice. We live in a world where nobody and I mean nobody likes to be alone. Gay people are also normal people. My advice is, yes they have to change in many ways but normal people have to as well.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Sexual peaks
The fact is that men and women don't reach sexual peaks at the same time of their lives. Here I'll give you the best of what I assume happens to both men and women at different ages and stages of their lives.
On one hand guys can start to be active by sixteen and so can the girls. Some even earlier. Parents in this day and age have no clue as to what their children do. Sure it's all hush hush but when they are out of sight and you are out of mind. Sex is something exciting to them because it's taboo. Most of them would have had some form of sexual encounter already. It could be heavy petting, masturbation, oral sex with some already doing it fully.
Most guys reach their sexual peak between 18 to 24 yeras old. This is the time that they have the most energy, are seeking for it and can go about it all night long. Women at this age are a little awkward because they are in search of slightly different things. They want the whole package. Relationship, love and commitment is their agenda. This is because they have not peaked as yet and having a horny boy makes them feel good but they know what that boy is after. A lot of them do have sex as well but they were actually better when they were younger at age.
Women peak sexually at the age of 32 to 38 years old. Lot's of times guys don't understand why she seems to be in 'heat'. Biologically, her clock is speeding up a little because even if she doesn't know it, that this is the last chance to be pregnant and her body is sending weird signals to her brain. It's not only to her partner that she seeks a sexual feel but even people from work, during commute to work even strangers that give her the eye. She tends to feel that she needs all this extra attention before all her looks and body shape gets changed forever.
Most women will be either going to get their hair, nails or face done. Even if they never used Botox, they may try it. Some go to the extreme of plastic surgery to get lifts especially the breast area. They seem to be running a race against time. The attention of some younger men also perks their playful and sexual thoughts. They don't really understand it themselves but they seem to enjoy it even to the point that some become hostile towards their partners at home because at the back of their minds he will always be there but they belive time is running out but for what, even they can't figure it out.
Lot's of women these days go online to dating and sexual sites. Not that they are going to leave their partners but to just flirt and get response from men to their profiles. Some have no problems writing down that they are married. This safeguard is there but they know that men will still engage them if it's out there. There are some sites that has them in their underware, topless or even naked but face covered. they actaul paste their pictures on it. Why that? It just adds to the excitment that they are letting every man eye their body and normally the profile write up is just as exciting. If responses do come they play it by ear. It rarely becomes a real date or sexual encounter but sadly sometimes it may happen. Most of them also know that they can leave the site and remove all pictures anytime so the safety of not getting caught is there.
Guys that do the online surfing of women are really just doing that. The fact is that if they got just one girl that may correspond with them, they will not bother to get a second or third. This is because they know that they have a partner at home and they just want to flirt every once in a while and not get caught. Men are also out of it once their sexual peak is over. They worry more about work and family than other women. Hence, some women's need for male attractive glances because the workaholic partner is too dumb to understand her position and needs.
On the other hand. Women are 'set' by the time they pass their main sexual peak or just a little further till the point of menopause. However, men start to rekindle thier radars. Somehow they seem to have back up fuel that reignites into fire when they reach 55 to 60 years old. It's not about the sex really but the advances of younger women flirting with them is enough for them to start reaching for the oxygen tank yet they carry on in their own way. Men will try to make themselves seem younger in public but when he gets home he acts like he needs to be rushed to the emegency ward. Why? Well it's a throw off so his partner isn't suspicious. Although nothing is happening he's not going to let it explode into a war. His peace is at home. If he feels there may be danger he'll end it quickly.
All this going on will be oblivious to both sides but sometimes it gets strayed and divorce can become the reality they face. Nobody wants that to happen but it could. In our human nature and sense of wanting to be sexually attractive and young we loose the goal. What's that you ask? We only need to be all thses things for our partner and ourselves to be happy. Loosing track of this may put us in a awkward position and we may loose all that we have with our patners. We are human and we all have needs that our minds and bodies can't seem to work out for us. It's all left to what the heart knows is right.
Bar advice. If you took time to learn about what your partner, male and female, is all about and you put them above all others then you won't need anyone or anything else to satisfy yourself.
On one hand guys can start to be active by sixteen and so can the girls. Some even earlier. Parents in this day and age have no clue as to what their children do. Sure it's all hush hush but when they are out of sight and you are out of mind. Sex is something exciting to them because it's taboo. Most of them would have had some form of sexual encounter already. It could be heavy petting, masturbation, oral sex with some already doing it fully.
Most guys reach their sexual peak between 18 to 24 yeras old. This is the time that they have the most energy, are seeking for it and can go about it all night long. Women at this age are a little awkward because they are in search of slightly different things. They want the whole package. Relationship, love and commitment is their agenda. This is because they have not peaked as yet and having a horny boy makes them feel good but they know what that boy is after. A lot of them do have sex as well but they were actually better when they were younger at age.
Women peak sexually at the age of 32 to 38 years old. Lot's of times guys don't understand why she seems to be in 'heat'. Biologically, her clock is speeding up a little because even if she doesn't know it, that this is the last chance to be pregnant and her body is sending weird signals to her brain. It's not only to her partner that she seeks a sexual feel but even people from work, during commute to work even strangers that give her the eye. She tends to feel that she needs all this extra attention before all her looks and body shape gets changed forever.
Most women will be either going to get their hair, nails or face done. Even if they never used Botox, they may try it. Some go to the extreme of plastic surgery to get lifts especially the breast area. They seem to be running a race against time. The attention of some younger men also perks their playful and sexual thoughts. They don't really understand it themselves but they seem to enjoy it even to the point that some become hostile towards their partners at home because at the back of their minds he will always be there but they belive time is running out but for what, even they can't figure it out.
Lot's of women these days go online to dating and sexual sites. Not that they are going to leave their partners but to just flirt and get response from men to their profiles. Some have no problems writing down that they are married. This safeguard is there but they know that men will still engage them if it's out there. There are some sites that has them in their underware, topless or even naked but face covered. they actaul paste their pictures on it. Why that? It just adds to the excitment that they are letting every man eye their body and normally the profile write up is just as exciting. If responses do come they play it by ear. It rarely becomes a real date or sexual encounter but sadly sometimes it may happen. Most of them also know that they can leave the site and remove all pictures anytime so the safety of not getting caught is there.
Guys that do the online surfing of women are really just doing that. The fact is that if they got just one girl that may correspond with them, they will not bother to get a second or third. This is because they know that they have a partner at home and they just want to flirt every once in a while and not get caught. Men are also out of it once their sexual peak is over. They worry more about work and family than other women. Hence, some women's need for male attractive glances because the workaholic partner is too dumb to understand her position and needs.
On the other hand. Women are 'set' by the time they pass their main sexual peak or just a little further till the point of menopause. However, men start to rekindle thier radars. Somehow they seem to have back up fuel that reignites into fire when they reach 55 to 60 years old. It's not about the sex really but the advances of younger women flirting with them is enough for them to start reaching for the oxygen tank yet they carry on in their own way. Men will try to make themselves seem younger in public but when he gets home he acts like he needs to be rushed to the emegency ward. Why? Well it's a throw off so his partner isn't suspicious. Although nothing is happening he's not going to let it explode into a war. His peace is at home. If he feels there may be danger he'll end it quickly.
All this going on will be oblivious to both sides but sometimes it gets strayed and divorce can become the reality they face. Nobody wants that to happen but it could. In our human nature and sense of wanting to be sexually attractive and young we loose the goal. What's that you ask? We only need to be all thses things for our partner and ourselves to be happy. Loosing track of this may put us in a awkward position and we may loose all that we have with our patners. We are human and we all have needs that our minds and bodies can't seem to work out for us. It's all left to what the heart knows is right.
Bar advice. If you took time to learn about what your partner, male and female, is all about and you put them above all others then you won't need anyone or anything else to satisfy yourself.
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