Relationships, lies and trust

Relationships are social connections, associations and affiliations between people. They vary in levels of depth and cover different aspects such as friendship, family, lovers relationship and marriage. Regardless of the different kinds of relationship which a person plays in a social entity, conflicts may arise and can strain a relationship. Trust is an important element in maintaining a healthy and harmonious relationship. Conflicts normally arise due to the betrayal of trust. Whenever there is a conflict, parties may resort to accusations, harsh words and insults on each other which may eventually lead to emotional stress.

Trust is the pillar which supports relationships. Lies bring about distrust and suspicion in relationships. Lies should be taken seriously because for every time a lie is told, the level of trust will drop and create more and more suspicion between parties. Eventually, the person who tells the lies will lose their credibility and this will strain the relationship. My relationship advice in today’s modern society of heightened stress and competition is, lies are inevitable and serve as a convenient tool to evade trouble and protect oneself. Basically a white lie is a false escape. However, this form of convenience is exchanged with the reduction in trust. A person who has his trust misplaced before may have difficulty trusting people again. Therefore, with regards of relationship, once there is zero trust between both parties, this relationship has failed. Honesty is the best policy!

The most powerful tool is words but also the most destructive weapon in the world. Words can be in the form of praise and compliment but also a weapon that can hurt and leave an emotional scar in a person. When it comes to relationship, hurtful remarks and insults being hurled on a person in the fit of anger during conflicts can deeply affect the person’s psychological and emotional state. The impact of these words can be further intensified especially when it come out from a person who you are closely attached to.

The emotional effect may heal over time but it can also change a person’s perception of humanity and relationships permanently. Sometimes it has the power to drive people to same sex relationships because of the intense pain inflicted at an early age by someone they loved. They may have been cheated upon. Maybe made to be humiliated or there was also physical abuse.

In conclusion, trust and words are closely related to each other in a relationship. Lies don't fit anywhere. Any incorrect management of the first two important elements can strain a relationship. Anger management, character building and emotional stress management are crucial to prevent conflicts and handle any aftermath of failed relationships. Therefore, one should not take things to be granted and learn to cherish relationships.

Bar advice. Connecting with each other is already hard enough. Deception and the lack of trust will bring the relationship to it's knees.

How sexy do you want to be?

Most women look at the magazines on the shelves at stores and supermarkets, or at least the covers, and wish that they looked like those girls. Some actually believe that is what all the sexy women look like in real life. Some are so obsessed with the methods the models or celebrities use that their health is placed in danger.

It's great to be hot and have a lot of guys come after you and such but if you're obtaining that physic by unhealthy methods that can harm you or even cause death, than you're going down a dark and deadly path. We've all heard about how models starve themselves, have bulimia or are anorexic. These stories are just that, stories. People tell themselves that everything will be fine but it only sinks in when a friend or relative dies from it. A lot of women live lives that are a far cry from being thin and are very successful, have lots of men and live a healthy lifestyle. Take Tyra Banks for example. She used to be on all the covers and runways for the world, still does sometimes, but she never did all the crazy stuff to hurt herself to become thin. Maybe for some people it's a bit more natural being thin but others have a hard time.


Sexiness can also be the brightness of a girls smile. Her pouting lips like Angelina Jolie. Maybe even curves like Queen Latiffa. Women can enhance their looks with the right makeup on. Trust me I've seen some girls plaster on a ton of make up that they look worse than the clown, Ronald McDonald. You wouldn't want to see them in a dark alleyway at night. You'll mistake them for a ghost.

Lingerie is also something that can bring out that sexy, naughty vibe in you. Women think it's all superficial. They fail to realize that men can sniff out the confidence of a sexy chick. It's built in nature for them. Just remember that many women around the world all look different. Many have the whole sexy, beauty, stylish package. Others just have to deal with the "Ugly Betty" package that they got when God was handing out looks. Remember, the show "Ugly Betty" is all about this superficial world and what it takes to overcome those obstacles.

Last but not least. Wake up from the dream state you're in if you are thinking that you're going to change over night. Your face and body is who you are. Say cheers to all the beautiful women out there but say a cheer for yourself even if you don't make the "cut". I notice that women tend to check out other women. Not sexually, well some do, but just to see if they measure up to them or the other way around. A woman will not feel threaten if she's in the company of another that isn't giving out the overly sexy and hot vibe that will make her seem insignificant.

Women are always competing with others to be beautiful, to be hot looking, sexy and more but let me go back to emphasise that the key to all of this is the "confidence" you personify that will make you sparkle better than a diamond. Those that are blessed with their looks and bodies sometimes find it a curse that they have to keep up the image or be criticized. This can bring depression and self destruction to some. Look at people like Merilyn Monroe, Karen Carpenter or worst of all Anna Nicole Smith. Dead and gone. Is that going to be you too?

Bar Advice. Keeping a healthy life style, exercise and a attitude with confidence will make you feel so much better that you won't be bothered with the whole image business.

Zodiac compatibilities

Here is the zodiac compatibilities for your interest. Don't think that other combinations cannot work. This is just a guide. The world is full of possibilities. Sometimes we just have to work around them.

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Compatibility with Spouse/Love Interest
Excellent - Taurus, Gemini, Leo, Capricorn, Aquarius
Good - Aries, Virgo, Scorpio, Pisces
Fair - Cancer, Libra, Sagittarius

Compatibility with Family/Friends
Excellent - Aries, Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces
Good - Leo, Libra, Scorpio, Capricorn, Aquarius
Fair - Taurus, Cancer

Compatibility with Co-workers
Excellent - Aries, Gemini, Virgo, Scorpio, Aquarius
Good - Leo, Capricorn, Pisces
Fair - Taurus, Cancer, Libra, Sagittarius

Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Compatibility with Spouse/Love Interest
Excellent - Aries, Taurus, Cancer, Virgo
Good - Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius
Fair - Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius, Pisces

Compatibility with Family/Friends
Excellent - Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Capricorn
Good - Taurus, Cancer, Libra, Aquarius
Fair - Aries, Leo, Scorpio, Pisces

Compatibility with Co-workers
Excellent - Taurus, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Capricorn
Good - Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Pisces
Fair - Aries, Scorpio


Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Compatibility with Spouse/Love Interest
Excellent - Cancer, Leo, Libra, Aquarius
Good - Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Scorpio, Pisces
Fair - Virgo, Sagittarius, Capricorn

Compatibility with Family/Friends
Excellent - Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Pisces
Good - Aries, Gemini, Virgo, Libra, Capricorn
Fair - Cancer, Sagittarius, Aquarius

Compatibility with Co-workers
Excellent - Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio
Good - Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius
Fair - Pisces

Cancer (June 22-July 22)
Compatibility with Spouse/Love Interest
Excellent - Taurus, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Pisces
Good - Gemini, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Aquarius
Fair - Aries, Leo, Libra

Compatibility with Family/Friends
Excellent - Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Scorpio, Pisces
Good - Taurus, Libra, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius
Fair - Aries, Gemini

Compatibility with Co-workers
Excellent - Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces
Good - Leo, Libra, Aquarius
Fair - Aries, Virgo, Sagittarius, Capricorn

Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
Compatibility with Spouse/Love Interest
Excellent - Gemini, Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Pisces
Good - Aries, Virgo, Libra, Capricorn
Fair - Taurus, Cancer, Aquarius

Compatibility with Family/Friends
Excellent - Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Aquarius, Pisces
Good - Cancer, Scorpio, Sagittarius
Fair - Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Compatibility with Co-workers
Excellent - Aries, Gemini, Cancer, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Good - Taurus, Leo, Virgo, Capricorn, Pisces
Fair - Libra, Scorpio


Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Compatibility with Spouse/Love Interest
Excellent - Aries, Gemini, Cancer, Virgo, Sagittarius
Good - Taurus, Leo, Aquarius
Fair - Libra, Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces

Compatibility with Family/Friends
Excellent - Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Good - Aries, Cancer, Capricorn, Pisces
Fair - Leo, Libra

Compatibility with Co-workers
Excellent - Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Virgo, Pisces
Good - Aries, Leo, Scorpio, Capricorn
Fair - Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23)
Compatibility with Spouse/Love Interest
Excellent - Taurus, Leo, Scorpio
Good - Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius
Fair - Aries, Cancer, Virgo

Compatibility with Family/Friends
Excellent - Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Scorpio
Good - Aries, Taurus, Libra, Sagittarius, Capricorn
Fair - Virgo, Aquarius, Pisces

Compatibility with Co-workers
Excellent - Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Good - Gemini, Libra, Scorpio
Fair - Aries, Leo, Capricorn, Pisces

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov 21)
Compatibility with Spouse/Love Interest
Excellent - Gemini, Leo, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces
Good - Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn
Fair - Taurus, Virgo, Aquarius

Compatibility with Family/Friends
Excellent - Gemini, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio
Good - Aries, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Pisces
Fair - Taurus, Capricorn, Aquarius

Compatibility with Co-workers
Excellent - Aries, Libra, Sagittarius, Capricorn
Good - Gemini, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Aquarius, Pisces
Fair - Taurus, Leo


Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec 21)
Compatibility with Spouse/Love Interest
Excellent - Taurus, Cancer, Leo, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Pisces
Good - Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Aquarius
Fair - Aries, Gemini

Compatibility with Family/Friends
Excellent - Taurus, Libra, Capricorn
Good - Aries, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius
Fair - Gemini, Aquarius, Pisces

Compatibility with Co-workers
Excellent - Taurus, Libra, Aquarius, Pisces
Good - Gemini, Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius
Fair - Aries, Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan 19)
Compatibility with Spouse/Love Interest
Excellent - Aries, Cancer, Virgo, Libra, Sagittarius, Pisces
Good - Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Aquarius
Fair - Gemini

Compatibility with Family/Friends
Excellent - Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Good - Aries, Gemini, Capricorn, Pisces
Fair - Leo, Scorpio

Compatibility with Co-workers
Excellent - Taurus, Gemini, Leo, Scorpio
Good - Aries, Virgo, Capricorn, Pisces
Fair - Cancer, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius

Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb. 18)
Compatibility with Spouse/Love Interest
Excellent - Aries, Cancer, Capricorn
Good - Gemini, Virgo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Fair - Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Pisces

Compatibility with Family/Friends
Excellent - Cancer, Leo, Capricorn, Aquarius
Good - Aries, Taurus, Virgo, Pisces
Fair - Gemini, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius

Compatibility with Co-workers
Excellent - Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Scorpio, Pisces
Good - Cancer, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Fair - Virgo, Capricorn

Pisces (Feb 19-March 20)
Compatibility with Spouse/Love Interest
Excellent - Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Pisces
Good - Gemini, Cancer, Libra, Scorpio, Capricorn
Fair - Taurus, Virgo, Aquarius

Compatibility with Family/Friends
Excellent - Aries, Gemini, Leo, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn
Good - Cancer, Aquarius, Pisces
Fair - Taurus, Libra, Sagittarius

Compatibility with Co-workers
Excellent - Aries, Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces
Good - Cancer, Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Fair - Gemini, Libra


Bar advice. Nothing is set in stone. Sometimes opposites do attract. It all depends on the individual so don't always look to the stars for answers. Sometimes what's in the heart that really matters.

Rascal Flatts-What Hurts The Most

This is a great band and more importantly this song just blew a lot of people. This mini video just shows young love, relationships and parents. What hurts the most is when we miss the ones we love or the ones that hurt us.

Bar advice. The advice I give to anyone that's been in love and lost someone is to celebrate that persons life by living better.

Date tracking

If you go out with a girl on a date there are a few key things to do. During the entire course of the few hours with her you see good responses coming out of her at various times. There will also be points of times where the date hits a lull. There will be times when she's enthusiastic or passive, etc. So, after the date is over what do you need to do when you get home?

Date tracking is the answer. What is that? Here is a few tips to your relationship advice woes. Doesn't matter if it's a first date or one that's been on for a while. What matters most is to progressively track your date and the ongoings of each of them. List it. Did it get better as you progressed? What did you do right or wrong? What did she say that interest her more? Did you remember what her favorite place was? What's her favourite type of movie? Does she like to travel, dance, party, swim, workout, window shop and so on. Get the idea?

There's also the key point to remember to recall the conversations that you had. What kept her more engaged and made her have a bigger smile on her face when you discussed that subject. Those topics can be tracked by you so you can bring them up again. Another thing is to remember when she had touched you in the conversations because this may have triggered more response in her. If you are not familiar with the in depth knowledge of the subject, now would be a good time to research it. Amplify those things when you meet her again on another date. Use this tracking method again and again as the relationship stretches. Any woman loves a man that's listening to them and takes interest in their thoughts.

If you're out with a new person then reuse the same method but remember you have to start from scratch. Each girl is different and they have different interest and likes. With the same one, all you have to do is to keep adding to a list that you have. Improve on the things that she liked when you first met, progressively. You're bound to see admirable changes in her because she's enjoying your company more.

You can also do things that surprise her. Firstly listen carefully to some "wishes" that she may have. If she's talking about going to climb Mount Fuji or something, forget it but if she's talking about trying to get tickets to see a special show or something, maybe. This is a possibility to score big with her. She's going to have more feelings for a man that's doing things for her without her asking. Please don't think that you just need to do things that spend money all the time. Even the simplest thing like sending her a love email may just trigger the same response, if not more. That all depends on how good a poet you are, I guess.

Bar advice. This method can be applied by women to men as well, however, guys are a bit more difficult to pen down. Your list may just be very long and keeps changing very rapidly.

Appreciate your lover

We tend to overlook the things that are right in front of our face. Think about it, do you write your lover a thank you card for every little gift you're presented with? Probably not but you would never forget to write or say so to your mother for the same gesture.

Take stock of the things (and people) in your life that you're grateful for. Don't forget the person lying next to you. Ask yourself if you've shown your gratitude to the individual who brings you the most pleasure in life. Your lover! Here's some things that you can do do keep things hot and fresh and also appreciative.

Make a date.
Sometimes it's easy to take each other for granted. After all, you've got commitments, other people are counting on you and more. Your schedule is tight and when you get home from work or the late hours, you're exhausted! It's not exactly hot love time and it's certainly not time for planning.

The good news is, your lover knows this because most likely, they're feeling it too. So, if you really want to make them feel special, schedule some time to show them a little appreciation. How that manifests is up to you but a full body massage, a hot soak in the tub (together!), dinner late night by candlelight are all easy options that don't require much effort, yet they speak volumes. What you're going for is something that says It's just you and me, babe! The gesture (whether naughty, nice or some saucy combo) will help remind them that, even when you're torn in a many directions, they're still first and foremost in your head and heart.

Technological advances.
Whether it's via cell phone, text message, email or IM, these days, we're all accessible at the touch of a button. Oftentimes the constant communication can be annoying. We come to expect requests and lists at any time of day and mid-day messages become just one more thing to add to our already over scheduled lives but we're all willing to be surprised! In addition to easy access, technology also offers us a chance to say the things we otherwise might not have the courage to say… In other words, a chance to talk dirty without fear of embarrassment!

Just when your partner thinks you're messaging to say, "Can you pick up the dry cleaning?" or that you'll be late coming home. Surprise them with something sexy and suggestive. Bonus points if it's a promise for when they get home!

Fantasies do come true.
If you've been paying attention, your lover probably has, at some point or another, expressed an interest in something romantic. Think back. If it wasn't directly stated, did they ooh and ahh over a commercial you've seen or a story they've read? Did you notice them quietly raise an eyebrow at something risque? Sometimes, it's easier to figure out what they'd like than you think. Be open to clues that they generate but keep it to yourself.

Is there anything that you haven't acted on yet? A desire to be served breakfast in bed, perhaps, or one to be pampered with a relaxing foot massage. Maybe it's something more scandalous like indulging in a sexual fantasy via role-play or something more naughty. Now is the time to act on it. No matter what you do to show appreciation to your one and only, it will be worth the effort!

Bar advice. There are many more ways as well. If both keep this cycle of constant appreciation the journey together will be a joyous one.

The elusive kiss. (For guys)

Finding the elusive kiss. How? You've been touching your lady in a nonthreatening, playful, and sexually stimulating way. You're ready to go further and she seems into you but for whatever reason, the chance never seems to come. The "kiss me" look never quite materializes or it comes at just the wrong time.

She's shy and never gives you a good head to head look from which you can lean into. What can you do? Well, one thing that works all by itself almost always is this. Hold her gently but firmly and take hold of her chin between your thumb and index finger. Move her head to face you. Think sex scene in a movie. Chances are she'll melt then and there and you won't have to say a thing. However, sometimes you'll have a woman who wants to "prove" just how strong she is, maybe how cool she is, or she'll just be so nervous that she'll actually pull away slightly even though she wants to be kissed. What do you do?

Be straightforward. Ask if she wants to be kissed by you. If she says yes or nothing, just do it. If she says maybe, presuade her a little and try doing it. If she says no, unlikely given the build-up you've gone through to get here, tell her "it can wait if she's not ready" in a playful teasing tone. Don't act let down. You were just playing with her. Get it? Wow, that was easy. Be bold by not caring. You need to be the alpha male here. Act like you don't to care. Listen, obviously you want to score. If you didn't, you wouldn't go to the trouble of wooing this lady, or setting the right mood but you can't let that be your obvious goal when you're in the process. You need to concentrate on the process, and your goal should be as slick as you can. Do that, and yeah, the sex will come (woohoo!), but if all you worry about is the sex that gets telegraphed to your lady in the worst possible way. So, again, relaxed playfulness is the key.

While you are sexually cuing her you don't want it to be overtly sexual. You want it to be fun. Don't get serious. The mistake most men make when they try to turn up the notch is they suddenly get too quick and unprepared for a possible pause on her part. Think about it. Imagine yourself in a first kiss. How often are either of you smiling as you go into it in your head? Admit it. Not much. Most likely your imagination has you thinking of some movie you saw last night. Just like people can fall in love at first sight. However, when you get serious at this crucial moment you cause her to think seriously about it. Suddenly she's switched into thinking if you're the one for her and unless you've got a deep spiritual connection going, she's gonna have some doubts. You don't want doubts. You don't want all those somber questions floating around. Hell, it's just a kiss! Stop treating it like a life long pairing. You're both suppose to get to know each other.

Keep it relaxed. Keep it playful. Keep it fun. So no, don't be brave about the kiss. If it takes that much bravado, you've already built it up too much. Treat it like you've been there before. Like a natural extension of the fun you're having and not like you're entering some new chapter in a saga, but just part of the path. Trust me, this works. That's right. Go back to the fun you were having like nothing happened. She'll wonder what the hell's going on. Of course, you know you're just teasing her. By pushing forward and then stepping back, you're increasing the sexual tension. Suddenly she's the one thinking about sex. Not in the serious "Could I Marry Him" way, but in the "Does He Like Me?" way.

When you fill in the next silence with another kiss, do a bit on her shoulders as well. You should take it a little further. Then draw back a bit and then take it a bit further. See where this is going? Maybe a kiss on her neck, from the back. You want to ratchet up the sexual tension until she is wanting to go further, faster than you're going. Keep it playful. Make her beg (not in a mean way, remember, this should be fun for both of you). Before you know it, you'll both be naked and putting the lambada to shame. If you go too fast and she is uncomfortable, back off a bit and build her up. The key is making sure she wants the next step before you get there. This means taking your time. Go slow. Pay attention to all the parts of her body. Surprise her now and again. Give her a tickle when she expects a caress. Peck her cheek and lean back when she expects a french kiss. Get it?

This video isn't exactly what I have in mind but it helps.

VideoJug: How To Kiss Someone Passionately

Bar advice. Remember this advice. She's the girl your are desiring. She's no hooker. You want her to want you just as much. It drives me crazy to explain these things to guys.

Arguing all the time

Hostile arguments harm your health. A stress response that makes your blood pressure stay high even after the argument is over. This, in turn, may damage your blood vessels and lead to clogged arteries, which can trigger a heart attack.

Women who argued with hostility had double the amount of clogged arteries and even worse clogs if their husbands were also hostile. Men who made domineering statements or had a wife who did had arteries that was double the times more clogged. What was causing all of these hostile arguments? Likely things that you have argued about as well. Some like in-laws, finances, intimate time and household chores.

Of course, there are deeper issues at play when you argue about practical matters. Key underlying causes of arguments, particularly among couples, include not feeling appreciated, needing more affection, not feeling respected, feeling insecure, built up resentments from the past(such as a forgotten birthday), feeling you’re carrying more of the responsibility/burden, resolving arguments for a peaceful and deep relationship and more.

Arguing all the time isn't good. Your relationship will probably always include disagreements, but the following tips will help to keep these disagreements on a superficial level so they make your relationship stronger instead of weaker.

Let go of wanting to be right. It’s easy to feel the need to defend your position to the end, but does it really matter who is right? Probably not. What matters is enjoying your relationship. See their point of view. By doing this you both can often resolve even long-standing disagreements. Be kind. Make an effort not to use hostile words, insults or hurtful comments. When you have a disagreement, think of it as a discussion, not an argument. A few kind words when you’re not arguing will also go a long way toward repairing your relationship. If you did something wrong, admit it. Take responsibility, apologize and move forward from there.

Bar Advice. One last but important thing. Say that you're sorry if you know that the other has been hurt by you. Heal the heart and the mind will follow.