Touching someone

Last Saturday Kat messaged me on my cell phone because she thought I was not opening the bar. Actually I opened late a little and she came up to see me. I was setting up the tables when she arrived. She sat there and started smoking. Just as I turned to ask her a question she lit another cigarette using the end of the first one before stubbing it out.

She must have missed smoking for a week and the fact that she would be going to her salsa classes probably made her smoke more. Where she sat had only two chairs. She sat on one and placed her bag on the other. When I joined her she was going to move the bag but I told her that I'd get another chair. The reason was that I could sit nearer and next to her. She smiled as I sat next to her. It was obvious that she knew that I knew that she knew what I was doing. It's called making a 'move'.

Even for someone like my self, touching someone is hard sometimes. The whole animal instinct of guys starts to emerge and women sense the tension that both people have. Don't get me wrong, we haven't done anything but, I do think that we like each other and we are comfortable chatting about anything. Touching just adds to the comfort zone. What's wrong with it? Absolutely nothing. I still got to remember that she's my customer although now a friend as well.

I sat next to her for sometime admiring her figure and of course her 'hot ass' as I called it because she sometimes wear these body hugging outfits for classes and being tight, every detail is revealed. So shoot me. After all I'm a guy. We sometimes ogle at the beautiful form of women. What's wrong with that. She knows she has it and women have to flaunt it proudly especially when gravity hasn't applied it's force on the form as yet.

She needed a lighter to smoke some more and so I got it but I put my arm around her and lit it. The fact that she didn't mind made me feel at ease. If she had said something or told me she was uncomfortable with it then we would have an invisible wall of stress between us from that point onwards. Luckily, that was not the case. I did, however, stop sitting next to her and I even told her that I felt too tempted to do something so I was taking away the seat next to her. I guess it was better not to move too fast as well.

We continued our conversation about her living on her own and her balcony space that she has. Also about the room mates that lives with her. Students from China so conversations are pretty much non existent except when she needs a condom in the middle of the night and had to ask one of them there. She said that when she asked for the condom the guy didn't understand her. Thoughts of getting his penis out and demonstrating the procedure of putting it on went through her mind but she suddenly remembered to say the words, "Sex", to him which brought the latex product out of the drawer. If a girl came up to me and said those word in the middle of the night, irregardless of what language we spoke, I would have had my clothes off in two seconds. What was that guy thinking?

Now I remember. She said he may be gay. Well, his loss. Now all I got to do is figure out who the condom was for. Actually, our conversations are rugged, mature and open to everything. So far.

I really do enjoy my meetings with her and although it's for brief periods, she never fails to put a smile on my face. Great gal but I feel she still searching for something in life that even she can't understand or see in herself as yet. It seems that we both need this little interlude of meetings to stray to some adolescent contact to cut out the world for a while. I hope that she thinks like this as well and touching will just have to slowly take it course.

Bar advice. Some moves should never be done too quickly. Take time to feel relaxed and comfortable with the other. Touching the others mind and heart comes first. It will happen when it happens.

Times of frustration

Last Wednesday Kat dropped by and when I got her a ash tray she said she wasn't going to smoke because she had a cough for the whole week. She didn't come by on the previous Saturday and she said it was because she wasn't well.

Then I asked what she did with her time and she basically spelt out that she was in bed, didn't feel good and lots of people calling her and bugging the heck out of her. She said friends were calling her to go out for a meal, for a date, for drinks and so on but she was not in the mood and all these people were frustrating her.

It seems that when we are ill every little thing becomes a problem or a frustration to the point that we isolate ourselves away and not want to talk or do anything or even see anyone till we're back in circulation. If you're a smoker, the tendency to get frustrated becomes stronger because irritation to the throat gets worse but smokers need their 'fix' so to speak. Tempers can also rise when you get some moron calling you up and starts wining about their insecurities or people wanting to meet up but they don't have a clue that all you want to do is hibernate till hell freezes over then emerge from sleep, well and ready to face the world again.

All said and done, she was feeling better and had a nice brave smile on her face in spite the fact that she was still a little weak. I was watching her from the top of the bar and only noticed her because I was actually checking out a beauty in a red dress that passed her on the street. She said she knew I was looking at her and commented about the way she was moving her hips and ass a little more than usual because she was with a guy. I guess it's a girl thing to notice this sort of stuff.

She had to go for her classes and picked up her bag and started walking off. I asked her to move her ass a little like the girl in the red dress and got a quick "No" to it. I asked one more time. She then jokingly said "don't frustrate me" and walked down the stairs.

This hot prawn is really fun and I'll write about Saturdays incident later.

Bar advice. If someone can still be in the mood to come see you even if they're not fully recovered form being ill, must be a special person. What sort of person are you?

Sexual peaks

The fact is that men and women don't reach sexual peaks at the same time of their lives. Here I'll give you the best of what I assume happens to both men and women at different ages and stages of their lives.

On one hand guys can start to be active by sixteen and so can the girls. Some even earlier. Parents in this day and age have no clue as to what their children do. Sure it's all hush hush but when they are out of sight and you are out of mind. Sex is something exciting to them because it's taboo. Most of them would have had some form of sexual encounter already. It could be heavy petting, masturbation, oral sex with some already doing it fully.

Most guys reach their sexual peak between 18 to 24 yeras old. This is the time that they have the most energy, are seeking for it and can go about it all night long. Women at this age are a little awkward because they are in search of slightly different things. They want the whole package. Relationship, love and commitment is their agenda. This is because they have not peaked as yet and having a horny boy makes them feel good but they know what that boy is after. A lot of them do have sex as well but they were actually better when they were younger at age.

Women peak sexually at the age of 32 to 38 years old. Lot's of times guys don't understand why she seems to be in 'heat'. Biologically, her clock is speeding up a little because even if she doesn't know it, that this is the last chance to be pregnant and her body is sending weird signals to her brain. It's not only to her partner that she seeks a sexual feel but even people from work, during commute to work even strangers that give her the eye. She tends to feel that she needs all this extra attention before all her looks and body shape gets changed forever.

Most women will be either going to get their hair, nails or face done. Even if they never used Botox, they may try it. Some go to the extreme of plastic surgery to get lifts especially the breast area. They seem to be running a race against time. The attention of some younger men also perks their playful and sexual thoughts. They don't really understand it themselves but they seem to enjoy it even to the point that some become hostile towards their partners at home because at the back of their minds he will always be there but they belive time is running out but for what, even they can't figure it out.

Lot's of women these days go online to dating and sexual sites. Not that they are going to leave their partners but to just flirt and get response from men to their profiles. Some have no problems writing down that they are married. This safeguard is there but they know that men will still engage them if it's out there. There are some sites that has them in their underware, topless or even naked but face covered. they actaul paste their pictures on it. Why that? It just adds to the excitment that they are letting every man eye their body and normally the profile write up is just as exciting. If responses do come they play it by ear. It rarely becomes a real date or sexual encounter but sadly sometimes it may happen. Most of them also know that they can leave the site and remove all pictures anytime so the safety of not getting caught is there.

Guys that do the online surfing of women are really just doing that. The fact is that if they got just one girl that may correspond with them, they will not bother to get a second or third. This is because they know that they have a partner at home and they just want to flirt every once in a while and not get caught. Men are also out of it once their sexual peak is over. They worry more about work and family than other women. Hence, some women's need for male attractive glances because the workaholic partner is too dumb to understand her position and needs.

On the other hand. Women are 'set' by the time they pass their main sexual peak or just a little further till the point of menopause. However, men start to rekindle thier radars. Somehow they seem to have back up fuel that reignites into fire when they reach 55 to 60 years old. It's not about the sex really but the advances of younger women flirting with them is enough for them to start reaching for the oxygen tank yet they carry on in their own way. Men will try to make themselves seem younger in public but when he gets home he acts like he needs to be rushed to the emegency ward. Why? Well it's a throw off so his partner isn't suspicious. Although nothing is happening he's not going to let it explode into a war. His peace is at home. If he feels there may be danger he'll end it quickly.

All this going on will be oblivious to both sides but sometimes it gets strayed and divorce can become the reality they face. Nobody wants that to happen but it could. In our human nature and sense of wanting to be sexually attractive and young we loose the goal. What's that you ask? We only need to be all thses things for our partner and ourselves to be happy. Loosing track of this may put us in a awkward position and we may loose all that we have with our patners. We are human and we all have needs that our minds and bodies can't seem to work out for us. It's all left to what the heart knows is right.

Bar advice. If you took time to learn about what your partner, male and female, is all about and you put them above all others then you won't need anyone or anything else to satisfy yourself.

Marriages & Families

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Lamanna and Riedmann's coverage offers insightful perspectives on diversity, including different ethnic traditions and marriage and family alternatives.

Bar advice. People that are just starting marriage or those having some form of problems after long period of marriage can use this for really good help with family and relationship help.

Family traditions.

Each family , big or small, loud or quiet, has its own traditions that are followed more or less unchanged for a long period of time. Keeping these family traditions alive is not only the responsibility of the parents, but also the grandparents, the uncles and aunts, the family friends and in most cases the responsibility of children.

Whether you consider a family tradition to be the annual family vacations to that special place you visit every year, Christmas presents and birthday parties, mothers day or fathers day, the fact remains that families come closer and share the memories of past rituals performed to honor everyone.

When children are still young, so too are parents, family traditions seem to be more sentimental and involve a lot of playing around. As kids get older and parents as well, families try to keep their traditions alive by reaching mutual agreements among the family members. The son that wants to go to a football match and escape the tradition of having to sit down, like every other Sunday, with his whole ten-member family for dinner, can cause some trouble when allowed not to be present often. Keeping the tradition is thus not only the responsibility of the parents in a family, as people seem to believe, but also that of children who will at some point create their own traditions and strive to keep them alive in their own families. Understanding the importance of spending those precious moments with your parents or with your children, will lead you to cherish the instances you had a chance to speak through your actions.

Kids move to higher education and it may take them far from home so traditions fall apart. Some deny this fact by supporting that exactly because children spend less time with their folks they feel the need to do so and use those family traditions as an excuse to visit the house they grew up in. Whichever the case may be, the fact remains that families need those times together and family bonds do develop. Although in many cases these are greatly different from the past, bonds exist because of the family traditions still exist.

Thus, it is imperative for a family to find the right time in order to celebrate the fact that family is what you love most in the world. As a kid your family was the world you knew. As an adult, your family is the world you feel safe in.

Cherish and keep these family traditions alive by doing what you used to do as a kid. Remember and if you are given the chance help your mother bake cookies, wrap presents and put them under the Christmas tree, set up the mother's day dinner, buy the cake your brother or sister will blow the birthday candles on. Do whatever it takes. These are some of the most precious moments you can share with your beloved ones. Do not forget or let them vanish. Time is precious in life. Sometimes tragedies happen and we never get to talk or tell the people we love how we feel about them.

Bar advice. Family traditions get passed on to other generations. If you're using some your parents had, then great. If not, make new ones. Families bond better.

Mothers day

It's once again that special day when we honour our mums. Mother's day. We show our appreciation and love and those with kids enjoy the day together. People tend to do something special on that day like a big family lunch or dinner. Adults sometimes buy their mums a gift or a spa treatment to pamper her. These things are well and good but we sometimes need to be reminded of those that don't get to celebrate this day.

Some people may have been orphaned at birth. While this is sad, the fact is that orphans are made on a daily basis. How? Many different ways.

There is some kind of war going on in many parts of the world at the moment that you're reading this. We take things for granted when we live in more safe and secure places in the world but for those that are in war torn zones, under dictatorships or forced religious governments, don't have much of a choice.

The reverse can happen, whereby, a mother has a child killed with accidental bombings and shootings. In Darfor, western Sudan, the genocide that has taken place has left many griefing maothers and orphans. In Iraq the continued battle for power between the Shites and Sunni people caught in the middle of American occupation leaves little to say but utter chaos. In Sri Lanka the war goes on till today with only a small period of ease when the tsunami struck. North Korea has it's people starving because one man places himself at the top and makes all others worship him like a God.

There are so many other places that has it's share of problems as well. It needs to be said that mothers around the world cry out on a daily basis for losses in their families. Their cries hardly ever gets notice or heared. What can be done for changes to what is going on? Let's imagine the world on a more peaceful level.

If only people would put aside the difference of race, gender, colour and especially religion. The world we know today could become a different place. The news that we see on television could be on different topics than bloodshed and violence. Women around the world should try to find ways to make the rest of mankind change. Maybe it could be better to have a women in the White House in the USA. The other countries have had women lead the country before but never the US. So far the places that have been ruled by women are still in trouble though. Places like the Philippines, India, Pakistan, Argentina and more. What than are we to do?

At the end of it all. Life goes on for all. Mothers still continue to cry. Children long for their mothers to hold them again and put them to sleep. Women pray to the havens for help. Jesus had a mother. Buddha had one too. Mohammad must have as well. Can we not also make a change and sacrifice for the goodness of living in peace and happiness. Some of us may not have our mothers around anymore. We do have memories but the kids today may need us to help them. Choose the side of change so the world can be a better place for all and the tears of mothers and children may end.

Bar advice. One last mother that we have to help as well. Mother earth suffers in silence. It helps if we do our part to heal the planet instead of contributing to it's demise.

Fnding a soulmate.

What is true matching about? It is about people that seem to be made for one another. But this may become a deceiving matter because matching begins with honesty.

1. The first thing you have to do is be honest with yourself, knowing who you are and what you are about. This issue tightly depends on your self esteem, so work it out at this instant, always keep in mind a good image of yourself, this is the essence of being ready for love!

2. Remember that unless you are ready to meet the love of your life, it won’t come for you, because everything depends on how much you want it to happen. Wise men say that when you really want something, the whole Universe rearranges itself for making your wish come true and believe me there is enough room for everybody’s desires. So let your desire grow stronger every day.

3. After you take a good look at yourself, hear what Mother Nature whispers in your ear about looking for someone of certain looks and physical features that suits you best. Did you know that soulmates almost look like one another? That soulmates may be so very different in appearance but still so alike? What makes them look alike, you may ask, if he is dark haired and she is blonde, or if she is black and he is white? There is that certain something named chemistry which makes them get connected and harmonize their everything: mimics, gestures, reactions. So before you get yourself connected, make a mental picture of your potential soulmate in every single detail of its appearance and all you have to do is recognize him/her when you look around! It is very important to know exactly the way you want it to be.

4. I can hear some of you saying that things are not easy as they seem to be, because matching is a complex scenario. I am telling you that things are difficult only when we do not know what we want and don’t have enough faith that nature will work for us and solve the complexity of matching scenario: habits, hobbies, humour, sharing the same values, location, background. Concentrate on the solution of the matter not on the issue itself, do your part of the job faithfully and do not worry.

5. Obviously that none of us wants to become haunted, obsessed by an ideal of love that never shows up, right? That’s why you have to cut the belt, free your mind of your desire (which has already put to work the invisible engines of the Universe, believe it or not !) and do your usual stuff.

6. And here comes the tough part, waiting! Wait for a while and let nature take action for how long as it takes. Take into account that you have already helped nature with your faith and your strong action. It’s a mutual thing. In love, as in everything, you get what you give.

7. Finally , let me share a secret with you. Don’t tell anyone you are about to meet your soulmate. The deepest desires must not be shared until they come true. Any interfering may disturb you from keeping a good image from yourself, letting your desire grow stronger, picturing in mind your soulmate, staying focused on what you have to do, letting your mind free and waiting faithfully.

Bar advice. You will know when it happens. It's like.... Magic!

Single

Let's be honest. No woman really wants to be alone for the rest of her life. But does being alone mean you're doomed to be miserable forever? Definitely not! And does being single have to equal lonely? No way! You can have the best time of your life when you're single, but you wouldn't know that from our relationship obsessed society, where celebrity magazines devote the majority of their content to who's dating whom and the wedding industry is a $100-billion business. Yet more than a third of marriages end in divorce, and countless other couples languish in unions that shouldn't have happened in the first place.

Bar advice. Don't become a statistic. Love yourself and never settle!