When the magic fades

Being in love is the super feeling that makes everything else seem trivial in this doggy dog world. If you're in love now or ever been than you know what I mean. My mom, when I was young, use to say that people in love think that they can live on love and fresh air alone. Actually I think that most people in love probably do think that way. I know I did.

The thing is, it was so true what my mom said. People at a younger age will think that way till they get older and are in the same relationship. Many will feel the effects of what the world and all it's blocks and walls can bring. Priority changes especially when you're a girl and you got parents nagging at you for not thinking about settling down. The nagging also continues about the no good bum you've been dating for all these years. Women get more of a hard time because parents feel that their prime may go quicker and they'll be "left behind" or on the "shelf" and eventually the guy she's with may end up dumping her. Can you blame your parents about the worrying or trying to give you advice?

All said and done. In the event that you do or don't get married, what will happen when the magic fades? I've seen it happen before. Once, a guy I knew, broke up with his girlfriend of over eleven years. She was thirty four when that happened. It's easier for a guy to rebound but women will have a hard time. Why they waited to get married I don't know but I think that it was better for her that they didn't. If she became a divorcee, it would have been worse for her to get another guy. Don't know if she ever did. Never saw her again.

Most of the time when the magic is fading, there seems to be a lot of pressure, arguments, abuse, temper and other stuff. Guess you can understand what I mean? It's all part of maturity and development. Where are our priorities? Are we going to do everything for the person we are with or is it just "puppy love"? Most women I know always say they hate the guys that "play games". There are some women that do that too, actually. They fake the interest just so that they need not be alone. They lead a guy on so they have someone to go out with or just to talk to. They don't want to look single in front of family and friends. In most cases there is either no sex or bad sex in this relationships.

If we can see that there is a problem arising we need to have a proper discussion with our partner. Ironing out the issues will be much better that all the shouting, yelling and phone banging that will go on for days. Is this the person you're going to marry for the rest of your life? It's better to get out of it now, even if it was ten years together, than ending up a bloody mess later. Worse, is kids are involved. With kids involved your problems will haunt you till the day you die. Even after divorce, it will haunt you till death because the kids are a part of both of you.

My advice to this is constant reaffirmations to each other. Tell the person your appreciation of being with them. Give compliments. Give in to the other. Who doesn't like to be "right" but who likes being in the dog house? If you want to make it work you got to intensify your commitment to the person that you are with more every year down the line. This includes after marriage. Don't just think that after the chase is over that all will be well. It takes a lot of effort for that magical flame not to go out. In fact it can go out faster in marriage.

Working out all the issues is far better than battling it out. One example is to stop in the middle of an argument, take a breath and change your tone. Tell the other that you both need to discuss the issue as a team. Try it, this works. Some people I've seen can go on a yelling rampage between each other in supermarkets, malls, theaters, bars and so on. You name it. It make you wonder why they are together in the first place. Will they have endless bliss? Will you?

Bar advice. The person you're with is going to be with you for a very long time. Don't you think it's best to lay solid foundations for your relationship. This is going to be your partner. What are you willing you do, starting now?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Readers beware. The brilliant, breathtaking conclusion to J.K. Rowling's spellbinding series is not for the faint of heart--such revelations, battles, and betrayals await in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows that no fan will make it to the end unscathed. Luckily, Rowling has prepped loyal readers for the end of her series by doling out increasingly dark and dangerous tales of magic and mystery, shot through with lessons about honor and contempt, love and loss, and right and wrong. Fear not, you will find no spoilers here, to tell the plot would ruin the journey, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is an odyssey the likes of which Rowling's fans have not yet seen, and are not likely to forget. But we would be remiss if we did not offer one small suggestion before you embark on your final adventure with Harry--bring plenty of tissues.

Bar Advice. Sure this is children's books but don't we all want to go back to our childhood sometimes. Just an escape to a world of magic can make us feel so much better.

Fnding a soulmate.

What is true matching about? It is about people that seem to be made for one another. But this may become a deceiving matter because matching begins with honesty.

1. The first thing you have to do is be honest with yourself, knowing who you are and what you are about. This issue tightly depends on your self esteem, so work it out at this instant, always keep in mind a good image of yourself, this is the essence of being ready for love!

2. Remember that unless you are ready to meet the love of your life, it won’t come for you, because everything depends on how much you want it to happen. Wise men say that when you really want something, the whole Universe rearranges itself for making your wish come true and believe me there is enough room for everybody’s desires. So let your desire grow stronger every day.

3. After you take a good look at yourself, hear what Mother Nature whispers in your ear about looking for someone of certain looks and physical features that suits you best. Did you know that soulmates almost look like one another? That soulmates may be so very different in appearance but still so alike? What makes them look alike, you may ask, if he is dark haired and she is blonde, or if she is black and he is white? There is that certain something named chemistry which makes them get connected and harmonize their everything: mimics, gestures, reactions. So before you get yourself connected, make a mental picture of your potential soulmate in every single detail of its appearance and all you have to do is recognize him/her when you look around! It is very important to know exactly the way you want it to be.

4. I can hear some of you saying that things are not easy as they seem to be, because matching is a complex scenario. I am telling you that things are difficult only when we do not know what we want and don’t have enough faith that nature will work for us and solve the complexity of matching scenario: habits, hobbies, humour, sharing the same values, location, background. Concentrate on the solution of the matter not on the issue itself, do your part of the job faithfully and do not worry.

5. Obviously that none of us wants to become haunted, obsessed by an ideal of love that never shows up, right? That’s why you have to cut the belt, free your mind of your desire (which has already put to work the invisible engines of the Universe, believe it or not !) and do your usual stuff.

6. And here comes the tough part, waiting! Wait for a while and let nature take action for how long as it takes. Take into account that you have already helped nature with your faith and your strong action. It’s a mutual thing. In love, as in everything, you get what you give.

7. Finally , let me share a secret with you. Don’t tell anyone you are about to meet your soulmate. The deepest desires must not be shared until they come true. Any interfering may disturb you from keeping a good image from yourself, letting your desire grow stronger, picturing in mind your soulmate, staying focused on what you have to do, letting your mind free and waiting faithfully.

Bar advice. You will know when it happens. It's like.... Magic!