Anal Sex - How to get them to Want It

This is a continuation of people that are inquisitive about the taboo subject of anal sex. It may help with some of the questions for those trying to get your partner to have it with you. Don't get me wrong, there's also a lot of girls that are happy doing it and will want you to do it or expect you to.

Probably the slow approach is best. Some girls that may already have done it and want's to do it with you may not tell you that they like it or want it at first so that they don't look eager. After all they don't want to be seen as sluty or easy. Taking it slower is best and all will come together.


The taboo about this subject is something that covers it being "bad", "not good", "evil", "not done by others", "immoral" and so on. These taboos are normal and natural to expect because this was designed as an "out hole" and not an "in hole". Check all avenues to clear your minds of what you need to know. Also check out www.askdanandjennifer.com for more help. Lets hope these two You Tube videos are some help in the matter.


Bar advice. What you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is up to you. Just remember that a girl showing her leg above the knee use to be taboo. Would you consider it silly today?

Anal sex

In today's world, anal sex is not seen as taboo as some time ago. It has become part of mainstream sexual intercourse. In previous years, some twenty perhaps, anal sex in X-rated movies was really the "extreme". Those that see and do it now feel it is normal. Back then it was unthinkable.

I guess it was just a matter of time before it did become mainstream but for a lot of women it is still something that they are not use to. After all they're not porn stars putting on a show. They're not use to it and a lot of them probably feel that it hurts too much to be considered as pleasurable. It's hard enough trying to understand and enjoy the normal sexual parts of the body and now they have to figure out what's lacking or what they may be missing out on. That's the thoughts they are having and the worst thing is, they don't have anyone to talk to about this subject when they may have boyfriends or husbands that have asked for it.

I know, I know, you women are going to say "he's just going to have to live without it" but guess what; you're curious too. Women today have probably seen the act itself on the Internet or photos spread in some networking website like Myspace or Tagged. The photos will be splashed all over by people trying to seek the attentions of others that enjoy it. The modern day woman is more eager to try new things as well. She will certainly be keen to talk to other woman who have done it or at least get information about the sexual pleasure or discomforts it brings. Women don't want to lose out on anything but they also like to be armed with knowing what their man likes and seeks from a woman.

No, we mustn't count out the secretive world of women that do certain things behind closed doors either. She may have read it in a book, seen a video, talked to a girlfriend that's done it or checked online but one thing that women have that they can rely on to help them adjust if they are going ahead to experiment is, the trusty vibrator. Gels and lubricants can easily be bought so it's going to be easy for her to try it herself without any embarrassments, "forced" pain from a guy or stopping the act of love making half way to the displeasure of her man. They wouldn't want to have their man think that they're not "experienced" or their sexual knowledge is primitive. Of course, the guy may have never done it before either, so he's not about to start asking for anal sex unless he's more knowledgeable. Now the tables have turned.

Men have probably heard, talked about it or seen the act being done more so than women. Instinctively they will probably be more curious because anal sex is also different to them as well. Another place to insert for sexual pleasure needs to be checked out. To be absolutely blunt, unless the woman's been doing it for years, the feeling is one where it will feel tighter and more pleasurable to the man especially when she squeezes and contracts the muscles to ease the pain she may feel. In that process she's unknowingly giving more pleasure to the man without her realizing it. He will just keep stroking back and forth happily while she resists due to pain. However, if she has mentally prepared and is willing, all she has to do is to apply lubricant, resist as little as possible to his motion and she'll probably also enjoy herself. It may take a few times to become easier but it can be satisfying. As I've been told by women.

I know there's a lot of women that will say they are happy with just normal intercourse, maybe some extras, and that's fine. My point here is for those that are in a sexual relationship and want to experiment with each other or for their own pleasure. This is just some relationship advice for them. It's also better to talk to someone about it before proceeding but my advice on this is to talk among yourselves. Why? Well, you two are the ones that will be doing it. Discussing what will happen, the pain threshold, stoppage if there's bleeding(there can be) and whatever comes to mind can be worked out by the lovers easier than someone telling you what to do. It may just make one or both more scared than they already are.

Making love in new ways will keep evolving. No woman sucked on a man's penis before or a man licking a woman at her Virgina. That was unheard of in the western world except that written in the Karma Sutra. The evolution starts when people find new ways of sexual pleasure or desire. It begins with a few but spreads quickly when others find new things pleasurable as well. It slowly becomes acceptable in mainstream sexual intercourse when doctors educate people that it's not a taboo subject or a taboo act anymore. Not just anal sex but anything else that may come in the future.

Bar advice. Anal sex is here to stay. I didn't invent it but someone asked me about it and I had avoided the subject on the blog for some time now but I felt that I have to address it at some point. Probably again in the future as well.

The trill of being sought after

Going out with women on dates can result in the female having positive emotions about you. Only if you know how to make it not just an ordinary date but one that connects with thrills and emotion exchanges.

Some pointers here. Most guys miss the point. They sweat over which restaurant to bring the girl or which movie will be 'date friendly', etc. The real deal in getting the lady interested is in your interaction with her. Never ever come across like the last five typical dudes a lady has went out with. That doesn't mean you have to dress weird or speak with a funny voice but you must have an ability to inject the "fun factor" at various points during the date. When you're out on a date, you can't simply see yourself as just a 'possible suitor' for the lady. You have to be a "chemistry creator". Learn to "engineer" feelings of liking in women.

The point here is to be a little creative. Do new things that may influence her thoughts about you. Will she remember you after the date? What will her reaction be when she's meeting you the next time, if ever? Did she say she was thinking about you when you called her again? The fact is what you do or say is vital in leaving a good impression to have return invites to meet up with her and possibly further interactions that may also lead to intamacy.

Sometimes it's good to do something surprising. Sending flowers to her office for no reason is one. Why her office? Well, all her colleagues will start to envy her having a thoughtful and romantic guy. She'll smile all day and will be willing to meet up. Another way is showing up to take her to some place special. Now this is a bit tricky. Don't go picking her up when she's dressed all casual with hair and make up out of wack. She'll feel totally out of place with you all spiffy and she looking like drab. Make sure you call, and in the conversation, try to slowly find out what she's dressed like that day so you can plan properly.

Keep this in mind. Women that think they have the upper hand are happier in the relationship. They will play hard to get, although they actually like you. This is because they also like the "chase". They also like to see how well you are at catching their hearts. The trill of being sought after, the hunt, is a game played long ago by women for all time. It's not new and will continue till the end of time.

Bar advice. We guys just have to learn how to master some new ways to get what we desire. Women are not as complex if you just find those certain likes of theirs.

Women's psychology

I'm going to dabble into some women's psychology that most men either don't know or dont get. Now, most guys don’t worry too much about their reputation but for women, reputation is very important. Most women won’t do something if it might make them look easy in front of their friends. Their modesty as a lady must also be in tact.

The good news is, when they’re alone, most women are up for much the same kind of stuff that men are up for. Sometimes though, you need to wait until the friends aren’t around to see both sides of a woman. Relationships that we see television, it always works like this, shows women are dying for relationships and guys are afraid to commit. Well guess what? It’s the opposite. In the vast majority of situations, it is guys who scare women away by being too clingy. For 90% of women (under 30), the only kind of commitment they want from you is a commitment to hang out with them again, call them in the morning and not be a complete dick.

It goes without saying, guys often feel this need to talk things out and explain things logically that often is awkward and lame to women. For example, guys feel compelled to say things like "I like you", when the smooth thing to do would be to just kiss her. If you did, chances are she already knows it. If she’s still hanging out with you, she probably likes you too. Dummy!

Another good example of this is the "relationship talk". You know the talk, sometimes it happens before sex, sometimes it happens after, but you’re sitting in bed with a girl and you feel compelled to put your cards on the table. You tell her you really like her but you want her to know that you're not really interested in an exclusive relationship at present. Even worse, “I want to sleep with other women”. This is not the way. Seeing and being with other people is alright but give a little respect to the one that's also with you. She may also be doing the same with other guys but she'll keep that to herself. In part to do with her modesty as well.

Most women don’t really care that much about what you do when they’re not around, unless you’ve explicitly boxed yourself into the boyfriend role. Don't hint that you're being monogamous with any women you're seeing and they'll never ask if you're sleeping with other women. Don’t ask, don’t tell is the best policy. It’s not dishonesty . Always answer any question truthfully, and never deliberately mislead a woman. It’s simply the fact that emotionally, women don’t really care what you do when they’re not around, as long as you’re good to them when you’re together. If you're the boyfriend it's a different game. Being single and unattached is what's going on in her mind as well but you just haven't got it yet.

Bar advice. A huge thing to remember about women, and here's a little relationship advice, they hate being played in games and especially liars. You'll be forever black listed and even all her friends will know. Don't do it.

Women and dating

There's a misconception that many men have about dating women, the idea that you have to focus all your efforts on "just one". This is an interesting problem since many of the clichés in our modern life tend to advise us against this kind of thinking in general but, when it comes to women, so many men simply ignore it.

Here are some of these types of clichés. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." Translation when applied to women and dating, "Don't put all your effort into just one woman." Another will be, "Don't count your chickens before they are hatched." Translation when applied to women and dating, "Don't assume your effort with one particular chick will pay off(so put some effort into other chicks just in case)." Lets look at something from the financial world. "Diversify your portfolio". Any of you who have ever invested in stocks are probably familiar with this one. Instead of buying just one or two stocks, you should have multiple stocks. That way if just one stock goes bad or even a few different stocks that you have in just one industry then you aren't wiped out.

Translation when applied to women and dating: "Date more than one woman at a time." I know all the women are furious at me but plaese keep reading. If we sat here long enough we could come up with a number of other analogies, but you get the point. So why is it that a lot of guys try to date just one girl when somuch common sense would tell them to do otherwise? Don't get me wrong, once you are in a relationship with a woman and she is your girlfriend already, then that can be just fine if that is what you like. I am talking about when a guy focuses all his energy on just one girl who isn't his girlfriend yet in the hope that she will someday become his.

A few main reasons for this type of thing is he doesn't want to "get caught" dating other women. He really likes this girl so much that he doesn't want to date other women. He doesn't have confidence in his ability to get another woman. Lets examine each case. In the first case, the guy is giving in to social pressure to be agood guy. His real desire may be to date different women at the same time, but he knows that if any of the women he dates finds out they might get mad or offended. He is letting the possibility of other people's negative reactions that haven't even happened yet rule his behavior. The fact is that some women often date a lot of different men all at once. They do their best to hide it but it can be a double standard where they will date other guys but expect the men they date to only date them. Given that you don't want to get played, and the fact that you should follow your own desires, the solution is to date as many women as you want initially.

In the second case, the guy just isn't interested in anybody else so he concentrates all his efforts on just one woman that he does like. It's as if he has blinders on to the fact that there are other women more beautiful and personable than her. This is alright if she clearly likes him in return, but if he only hopes she will like him someday then he is acting crazy. This is because usually if a woman doesn't like you within your first meeting, she is unlikely to change her mind unless a miracle happens. The real truth is that no matter how amazing a woman may seem, there is always one better somewhere, and even if there were not, its not worth wasting your time for too long if she will never return your affection.

The third case is maybe the worst, its when a guy latches onto the first woman that gives him even the slightest sign of attraction because he is not confident in his ability to meet other women. All of these problems can be solved with the right mindset and knowledge. So the 'takeaway' for today is, if you find yourself only dating one woman who you aren't even physical with yet and getting nowhere, you should not feel guilty about dating other women. You will gain lots of experience, and will have more success for in the future.

Bar advice. The true fact that women date more than one guy at the same time but is never questioned, should tell you that you haven't given yourself all there is to pick the right one either.

Kissing woes for guys

If you're so new to experiencing success with women that you find yourself hesitating to kiss them, even when you're alone with them, this is for you. Even for those guys out there who are otherwise doing find but can't seem to transition easily to kissing, this is still helpful.

Alright, you're alone with her, or at least a private area with her, she's sticking around in a way that indicates she's interested and you want to kiss her but you mentally freeze up. If you've been in this situations too many times, and didn't go for it, chances are you eventually lost the girl's interest and the only result you got was a lingering feeling for days, "I should have kissed her." You know if the moment is gone, so is your chance. Like Nike says, "Just do it." That would work. Maybe. It works theoretically because you can read that when there are no girls around and think in your mind, "Hell, yeah, next time I'm going to "just do it!" Then when next time comes around, you're hesitating again and still unsure of yourself. Instead I will give you a fool proof method to not only successfully kiss her, but to do so in a way you will find fun and allow you to skip past your hesitation.

She could be talking, drinking, fiddling with her hair, listening to you talk, or just plain sitting there like a lump on a log. It doesn't matter. Getting over the kissing woes for guys could be simple. May not work on all girls but is good to know. Just move towrds her slowly and look at her for a sec, then her bare neck, then back at her eyes(her eyes will be following yours by now) and then go in and start licking and kissing her where shoulder meets her neck. She will make freaky noises and giggle and then you come up for air after a few seconds and smile. Then ask her one of two possible questions. "How did it feel?" or "Do you want to know what it feels like?" Either way, kiss her on the lips, without waiting for an answer. It doesn't matter how she responds to the question, her openness to your kissing her is now increased by a factor of ten because you just did something outrageous, flirty, fun, and sexy.

If she didn't like it and pushes you away, it's probably not you. It could be though. Possibly she's not all that ready to move further or isn't experienced as yet. At least you got a kiss in. Once a girl I kissed looked at me stone cold after I did that and asked, "Why did you do that?" and I said "Because I wanted to know if you're as hot as you look." She laughed and we kissed more. Other times just went like clockwork. Shrieks, laughing, then kissing. Yes, if you look at this logically, it's retarded, but it accomplishes something that "just do it" lacks. It JUST DOES IT. So get out there and just lick it.

Bar advice. Not every girl wants to be kissed so soon. You got to make a judgement call on the right timing. First dates, it's a No No but it does work for some when it's tried.

Model, VJ, TV and Movie star, Anne Curtis

Some time ago I wrote about meeting people online. I said that you never knew who you might just get to know. The last person I talked about was this model cum porn star that I got to know and although very nice, is nothing compared to my latest new friend that I got to know a few weeks ago.

I didn't know who she was at first. I sought of dug a little about her online later on to discover that she's the mega star of iconic perportions in Philippines and many other parts of the world. A model, VJ, TV, movie star and my friend Anne Curtis.

I'm certainly glad that she allowed me to get to know her better. Funny thing was it was all over a comment I made about pictures of her and her cleavage. She even joked back to me about it. She's a really funny girl but best of all she's a star in my books. Here's a You Tube video of her celebrating her birthday two days ago.

Bar advice. It's funny how life works sometimes. I'm not kidding myself to think that I'll end up with her but I also have to think, "why not"? Never stop youself from what seems impossible.

Feelings of insecurity

A lot of people feel insecure when meeting someone new and even during the beginning stages of dating. If, however, you are in a steady relationship with a caring partner, and you have nagging insecurities about yourself and your partner, something deeper may be going on.

Insecurity often stems not from reality but from fear. Fear of rejection, fear of intimacy, and even fear of losing your identity may all come into play. It is likely that you may have also carried these insecurities over from a past relationship, and now are allowing them to wreak havoc on your current one. Of course, if you feel insecure it is next to impossible to have a healthy relationship as it can manifest in many ways.

Making you feel that you don’t deserve your partner. Accusing your partner of infidelity. Becoming codependent. Envying other people and/or their relationship. Possessiveness. Meanwhile, the more insecure you feel, the more you are likely to distrust your partner, attempt to control him or her, or avoid discussing future plans. All of which can ultimately lead to what you fear. A relationship break up situation. You may have already been through one before and another is not going to help your life in any way.

What can you do to break this cycle and feel confident in yourself and your relationship?

First, realize that only you, and not your partner, can give yourself inner strength. Security never comes from outside of yourself especially from another person. The best way to find security in a relationship is to bring your own inner security with you. Now, if you’re having trouble finding your inner security, all you have to do is release your feelings of insecurity, including the fear, the anxiety, the mistrust and the negative self-talk. If this sounds difficult, then you have not learned anything. With this advice, you will learn how to drop your insecurities as easily as you can drop a pencil.

Dealing with your feelings, the isuues and the other half of the relationship will not be easy. You got to put all your cards on the table and hopefully they do as well so that there is a common goal. This common goal will reduce all insecurities in the relationship because you now know that the other also had these insecure feeling and is trying to change themselves, their minds and the situation that's damaging the relationship.

If you have feeling of insecurity in a relationship, treat it as the feeling that it is and let it go. Take some time to rekindle the romance that may have dwindled. Keep in mind, however, that while many insecurities are, in fact, internal issues that need to be released, some may be legit. How can you tell the difference? If the feeling of insecurity persists even after some good releasing then it’s time to examine whether or not this is the right relationship for you.

Bar advice. Releasing can be done by one's self. It's not easy but if you need further help, you should seek professional help from a doctor.