No feelings

I often hear people say that after going out with a lady once, how come she wouldn't want to go out with them again. If you guys are asking the same, you'd be treated with this 'final answer' that once and for all lays that question to rest.

A majority of the women coincidentally say, "Because there were NO FEELINGS" to the guy when the date ends. It may seem too unclear, so let's explore what does "no feelings" mean exactly when women say that. Firstly, when a woman goes out with a guy the first time, she's hoping it would be different on that new date as compared to other disappointing ones she went to. She secretly craves to feel some emotions on a date. Hopeful that the guy can spark some special interest in her. In cases where there's zero emotions generated, she tells her friends or colleagues the next day how much the date, or the guy, sucked. She also uses these words to get out of guys that are pester her constantly to go out or who she feels may disclose that he likes her.

Opposite is true too. When she did experience feelings on a date, she'll tell her friends how much she wanted to see that guy again. So, on an unspoken level, a woman wants to feel three primary emotions on a date.

1)She wants to feel you are interesting. That means having a 'thrill factor' and fascination associated with interacting with you. Most dates are called 'boring' by ladies simply because she experienced a lack of something new. As a guideline, the amount of giggling and smiles from the female is a fair measure of how interesting the experience is. Use that as a measurement device for the amount of interest you generate on a date. However, being interesting alone is not enough sometimes.

2)She wants feelings of getting attracted to you. Human beings have 'mating habits', just like any other species on earth. Within these mating habits, there are "rules" that define what makes a man "high mating quotient" and what makes him a person of "low mating quotient". The good news is, man is a 'self-correcting' species, with the ability to learn and turn from low to high mating quotient. On a date, it's your role to reflect the super male traits that women naturally get attracted to in a man. This is no bull. It's instinctive in females since the dawn of mankind and caveman days when trying to develope a realtionship.

3)She wants to feel she bonded with you. You may have the most interesting things to say, but if you don't know how to create closeness or bridge the gap between you and her, the date may not work out well. It's a pity when some guys go out with women and spend the whole day chatting but in the end nothing is done to pull close the distance. You may get a shot at another date but if it happens again you'll be pushed to the "friends" list in her book.

So, the date is simply a 'frame of time' that gives you an opportunity to bring about the above feelings in the gal. One thing's for sure, you'll definitely find yourself in dating situations with women in future. Since it's going to be unavoidable, try to masterfully ace that date. How; is going to be up to you guys really.

Bar advice. There will be times when a lady just 'clicks' with you right off the bat. Well, don't waste too much time thinking about what skills to use. Let things take a natural course.

Flirting tips and relationship advice for women

Flirting is your way of letting the opposite sex know that you're "on the prowl". How available you are determines how you flirt and how serious you are about making and taking things to the next level. Here we'll discuss tips on how women can flirt with positive results. This is not a discussion about women being equals or being submissive to a male, but rather a primer on tactics that will attract interest to men. Everything that comes after you have gotten his interest is up to you and your style. The relationship advice portion is added to expand on what can happen.

Now, everybody enjoys looking at something they find appealing and you don't want him to think you don't have an interest in him do you? Best beginning is to glace over to him often until you have gotten a contact of about two seconds. This will establish the setting. If you're insecure about this you'll perhaps find it difficult to hold his gaze for a moment longer than you should but you really must look at him to begin the flirting process. Looking away will will throw him off and that's hardly what you want, is it? If you're really confidant, don't go making the reverse mistake by staring at him. Men may love it but in reality, being stared at makes a person feel awkward and embarrassed. The best is a balance of looking into his eyes and then looking down to break the tension. Most women do this almost naturally but that too may not work. Why? Well, a guy won't know to if he should approach or if you're just looking for a hair pin that dropped. He may just leave you alone and you'll get nowhere.

Another key element would be to smile. Naturally most women do if they're talking to someone but even if you're just looking from a far keep it on because you never know who else may be interested. If a guy sees a smiling face he may be more at ease to approach even if he was not the intended person directed. When he talks, smile in appropriate places and be conscious of your smile as you talk. Don't sit there with a false grin or he'll think you've forgotten to take your medication. A smile shows interest and best of all, it's contagious. If you combine this with appropriate eye contact it will begin to solidify your hold over him and you can progress to the next step.

Keeping interest. Nobody likes it when someone ignores them or doesn't pay attention to them. Guys find it hard enough trying to talk to women. If you don't show interest in what he does or says, he's going to think you're not interested and if he starts shifting interest to your girlfriends or someone else, don't blame him. People leading busy lives fail to remember to take a little to vest in the interest of the person they're with. This is also true for men with women.

Conversation should be light and easy. It should also be flowing with fun and talking about interesting subjects won't bore anyone. If you've been out several times already maybe you can start to share some deeper conversations about relationship concerns but if you don't think it's the right time, leave it out. No necessity for heavy commitments at the beginning. If you start to pressure a guy into a deeper relationship after the first or few meetings, he's going to run for the hills. He's either going to think you've just ended a relationship and you're on the rebound, isn't ready and is just jumping at whatever falls in your lap at the moment or you're completely psychotic. Very rarely, but, who in their right mind starts a relationship that quick and with someone you barely know? Are you that desperate?

Behaviour is something that a lot of guys are always checking. What do I mean by this? A lot of guys like it when their girls are at their sides. They may talk to others but they appreciate it, especially when talking among other guys, that the girl will touch them, hold their hand or place it on their shoulder leaning a little. Maybe even a kiss before heading to the ladies room. This is because men want to feel like the women they're with really wants them. She's not interested in anyone else there and she's not looking anymore. Another thing is women that get drunk or really high tend to change into some witch from the depths of the piss pot. She's not only taking loudly but she's demeaning him, scolding, shouting, crying, showing tantrums like a kid and worse of all her clothes are either coming off or parts of her are being exposed to everyone. No guy wants anything to do with YOU if you're like that.

Being a secret friend can be a decider in a blossoming relationship. What's that you ask? They guy likes it when you tell him a secret about yourself. Let it be something that others don't know but also isn't damaging to you if you two break up later on. Also keeping him in confidence about work and family difficulties makes a guy feel that you value him enough to seek his advice or opinions. Try also to get him to open up to you in this manner and as time goes by you two will be sharing stuff like you were already husband and wife for years. So you see, my relationship advice and flirting tips for women could be beneficial to you.

Bar advice. There's obviously more than meets the eye on all these flirting tips and relationship advice but these are some good factors to consider when the next guy comes along.

The wonder of girls

Therapist Micheal Gurian probes the unique aspects of girls' emotional, social and physical development. First, though, he takes a few stabs at feminism, arguing that several of its theories (which, it must be noted, he incorrectly over simplifies) need to be revised or even discarded by parents seeking to raise healthy girls. But Gurian's trademark is examining how biology impacts behavior. Biological matters hormones, brain differences (girls' brains are "more broadly active" than boys' and have 15% more blood flow) ultimately define girls' and boys' journeys through childhood and adolescence, Gurian argues in his book, The wonder of girls.

Even a girl's drop in self-esteem during adolescence is a "natural," biological phenomenon rather than a result of negative cultural influences. Feminists, he argues, have ignored the biological differences in order to successfully compete with men in the workplace; in so doing, they have denied or downplayed a girl's desire for intimacy and the experience of motherhood. Gurian urges parents to use a new model in raising girls (he calls it "Womanism") in which motherhood is a "season" when careers must be adjusted or put on hold. The author boldly suggests that parents prepare their daughters for the sacrifices of motherhood, and ensure that girls establish a three family system (the nuclear family, the extended family and institutions such as church or school) that will meet their need for intimate relationships. Expect Gurian's arguments to stir controversy and inspire thought.

Bar advice. This may just tick off some women out there but there's a lot of stuff that's beneficial for girls this day and age that is lacking in modern day. Read to see.

Anal Sex - How to get them to Want It

This is a continuation of people that are inquisitive about the taboo subject of anal sex. It may help with some of the questions for those trying to get your partner to have it with you. Don't get me wrong, there's also a lot of girls that are happy doing it and will want you to do it or expect you to.

Probably the slow approach is best. Some girls that may already have done it and want's to do it with you may not tell you that they like it or want it at first so that they don't look eager. After all they don't want to be seen as sluty or easy. Taking it slower is best and all will come together.


The taboo about this subject is something that covers it being "bad", "not good", "evil", "not done by others", "immoral" and so on. These taboos are normal and natural to expect because this was designed as an "out hole" and not an "in hole". Check all avenues to clear your minds of what you need to know. Also check out www.askdanandjennifer.com for more help. Lets hope these two You Tube videos are some help in the matter.


Bar advice. What you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is up to you. Just remember that a girl showing her leg above the knee use to be taboo. Would you consider it silly today?

Anal sex

In today's world, anal sex is not seen as taboo as some time ago. It has become part of mainstream sexual intercourse. In previous years, some twenty perhaps, anal sex in X-rated movies was really the "extreme". Those that see and do it now feel it is normal. Back then it was unthinkable.

I guess it was just a matter of time before it did become mainstream but for a lot of women it is still something that they are not use to. After all they're not porn stars putting on a show. They're not use to it and a lot of them probably feel that it hurts too much to be considered as pleasurable. It's hard enough trying to understand and enjoy the normal sexual parts of the body and now they have to figure out what's lacking or what they may be missing out on. That's the thoughts they are having and the worst thing is, they don't have anyone to talk to about this subject when they may have boyfriends or husbands that have asked for it.

I know, I know, you women are going to say "he's just going to have to live without it" but guess what; you're curious too. Women today have probably seen the act itself on the Internet or photos spread in some networking website like Myspace or Tagged. The photos will be splashed all over by people trying to seek the attentions of others that enjoy it. The modern day woman is more eager to try new things as well. She will certainly be keen to talk to other woman who have done it or at least get information about the sexual pleasure or discomforts it brings. Women don't want to lose out on anything but they also like to be armed with knowing what their man likes and seeks from a woman.

No, we mustn't count out the secretive world of women that do certain things behind closed doors either. She may have read it in a book, seen a video, talked to a girlfriend that's done it or checked online but one thing that women have that they can rely on to help them adjust if they are going ahead to experiment is, the trusty vibrator. Gels and lubricants can easily be bought so it's going to be easy for her to try it herself without any embarrassments, "forced" pain from a guy or stopping the act of love making half way to the displeasure of her man. They wouldn't want to have their man think that they're not "experienced" or their sexual knowledge is primitive. Of course, the guy may have never done it before either, so he's not about to start asking for anal sex unless he's more knowledgeable. Now the tables have turned.

Men have probably heard, talked about it or seen the act being done more so than women. Instinctively they will probably be more curious because anal sex is also different to them as well. Another place to insert for sexual pleasure needs to be checked out. To be absolutely blunt, unless the woman's been doing it for years, the feeling is one where it will feel tighter and more pleasurable to the man especially when she squeezes and contracts the muscles to ease the pain she may feel. In that process she's unknowingly giving more pleasure to the man without her realizing it. He will just keep stroking back and forth happily while she resists due to pain. However, if she has mentally prepared and is willing, all she has to do is to apply lubricant, resist as little as possible to his motion and she'll probably also enjoy herself. It may take a few times to become easier but it can be satisfying. As I've been told by women.

I know there's a lot of women that will say they are happy with just normal intercourse, maybe some extras, and that's fine. My point here is for those that are in a sexual relationship and want to experiment with each other or for their own pleasure. This is just some relationship advice for them. It's also better to talk to someone about it before proceeding but my advice on this is to talk among yourselves. Why? Well, you two are the ones that will be doing it. Discussing what will happen, the pain threshold, stoppage if there's bleeding(there can be) and whatever comes to mind can be worked out by the lovers easier than someone telling you what to do. It may just make one or both more scared than they already are.

Making love in new ways will keep evolving. No woman sucked on a man's penis before or a man licking a woman at her Virgina. That was unheard of in the western world except that written in the Karma Sutra. The evolution starts when people find new ways of sexual pleasure or desire. It begins with a few but spreads quickly when others find new things pleasurable as well. It slowly becomes acceptable in mainstream sexual intercourse when doctors educate people that it's not a taboo subject or a taboo act anymore. Not just anal sex but anything else that may come in the future.

Bar advice. Anal sex is here to stay. I didn't invent it but someone asked me about it and I had avoided the subject on the blog for some time now but I felt that I have to address it at some point. Probably again in the future as well.

The trill of being sought after

Going out with women on dates can result in the female having positive emotions about you. Only if you know how to make it not just an ordinary date but one that connects with thrills and emotion exchanges.

Some pointers here. Most guys miss the point. They sweat over which restaurant to bring the girl or which movie will be 'date friendly', etc. The real deal in getting the lady interested is in your interaction with her. Never ever come across like the last five typical dudes a lady has went out with. That doesn't mean you have to dress weird or speak with a funny voice but you must have an ability to inject the "fun factor" at various points during the date. When you're out on a date, you can't simply see yourself as just a 'possible suitor' for the lady. You have to be a "chemistry creator". Learn to "engineer" feelings of liking in women.

The point here is to be a little creative. Do new things that may influence her thoughts about you. Will she remember you after the date? What will her reaction be when she's meeting you the next time, if ever? Did she say she was thinking about you when you called her again? The fact is what you do or say is vital in leaving a good impression to have return invites to meet up with her and possibly further interactions that may also lead to intamacy.

Sometimes it's good to do something surprising. Sending flowers to her office for no reason is one. Why her office? Well, all her colleagues will start to envy her having a thoughtful and romantic guy. She'll smile all day and will be willing to meet up. Another way is showing up to take her to some place special. Now this is a bit tricky. Don't go picking her up when she's dressed all casual with hair and make up out of wack. She'll feel totally out of place with you all spiffy and she looking like drab. Make sure you call, and in the conversation, try to slowly find out what she's dressed like that day so you can plan properly.

Keep this in mind. Women that think they have the upper hand are happier in the relationship. They will play hard to get, although they actually like you. This is because they also like the "chase". They also like to see how well you are at catching their hearts. The trill of being sought after, the hunt, is a game played long ago by women for all time. It's not new and will continue till the end of time.

Bar advice. We guys just have to learn how to master some new ways to get what we desire. Women are not as complex if you just find those certain likes of theirs.

Women's psychology

I'm going to dabble into some women's psychology that most men either don't know or dont get. Now, most guys don’t worry too much about their reputation but for women, reputation is very important. Most women won’t do something if it might make them look easy in front of their friends. Their modesty as a lady must also be in tact.

The good news is, when they’re alone, most women are up for much the same kind of stuff that men are up for. Sometimes though, you need to wait until the friends aren’t around to see both sides of a woman. Relationships that we see television, it always works like this, shows women are dying for relationships and guys are afraid to commit. Well guess what? It’s the opposite. In the vast majority of situations, it is guys who scare women away by being too clingy. For 90% of women (under 30), the only kind of commitment they want from you is a commitment to hang out with them again, call them in the morning and not be a complete dick.

It goes without saying, guys often feel this need to talk things out and explain things logically that often is awkward and lame to women. For example, guys feel compelled to say things like "I like you", when the smooth thing to do would be to just kiss her. If you did, chances are she already knows it. If she’s still hanging out with you, she probably likes you too. Dummy!

Another good example of this is the "relationship talk". You know the talk, sometimes it happens before sex, sometimes it happens after, but you’re sitting in bed with a girl and you feel compelled to put your cards on the table. You tell her you really like her but you want her to know that you're not really interested in an exclusive relationship at present. Even worse, “I want to sleep with other women”. This is not the way. Seeing and being with other people is alright but give a little respect to the one that's also with you. She may also be doing the same with other guys but she'll keep that to herself. In part to do with her modesty as well.

Most women don’t really care that much about what you do when they’re not around, unless you’ve explicitly boxed yourself into the boyfriend role. Don't hint that you're being monogamous with any women you're seeing and they'll never ask if you're sleeping with other women. Don’t ask, don’t tell is the best policy. It’s not dishonesty . Always answer any question truthfully, and never deliberately mislead a woman. It’s simply the fact that emotionally, women don’t really care what you do when they’re not around, as long as you’re good to them when you’re together. If you're the boyfriend it's a different game. Being single and unattached is what's going on in her mind as well but you just haven't got it yet.

Bar advice. A huge thing to remember about women, and here's a little relationship advice, they hate being played in games and especially liars. You'll be forever black listed and even all her friends will know. Don't do it.

Women and dating

There's a misconception that many men have about dating women, the idea that you have to focus all your efforts on "just one". This is an interesting problem since many of the clichés in our modern life tend to advise us against this kind of thinking in general but, when it comes to women, so many men simply ignore it.

Here are some of these types of clichés. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." Translation when applied to women and dating, "Don't put all your effort into just one woman." Another will be, "Don't count your chickens before they are hatched." Translation when applied to women and dating, "Don't assume your effort with one particular chick will pay off(so put some effort into other chicks just in case)." Lets look at something from the financial world. "Diversify your portfolio". Any of you who have ever invested in stocks are probably familiar with this one. Instead of buying just one or two stocks, you should have multiple stocks. That way if just one stock goes bad or even a few different stocks that you have in just one industry then you aren't wiped out.

Translation when applied to women and dating: "Date more than one woman at a time." I know all the women are furious at me but plaese keep reading. If we sat here long enough we could come up with a number of other analogies, but you get the point. So why is it that a lot of guys try to date just one girl when somuch common sense would tell them to do otherwise? Don't get me wrong, once you are in a relationship with a woman and she is your girlfriend already, then that can be just fine if that is what you like. I am talking about when a guy focuses all his energy on just one girl who isn't his girlfriend yet in the hope that she will someday become his.

A few main reasons for this type of thing is he doesn't want to "get caught" dating other women. He really likes this girl so much that he doesn't want to date other women. He doesn't have confidence in his ability to get another woman. Lets examine each case. In the first case, the guy is giving in to social pressure to be agood guy. His real desire may be to date different women at the same time, but he knows that if any of the women he dates finds out they might get mad or offended. He is letting the possibility of other people's negative reactions that haven't even happened yet rule his behavior. The fact is that some women often date a lot of different men all at once. They do their best to hide it but it can be a double standard where they will date other guys but expect the men they date to only date them. Given that you don't want to get played, and the fact that you should follow your own desires, the solution is to date as many women as you want initially.

In the second case, the guy just isn't interested in anybody else so he concentrates all his efforts on just one woman that he does like. It's as if he has blinders on to the fact that there are other women more beautiful and personable than her. This is alright if she clearly likes him in return, but if he only hopes she will like him someday then he is acting crazy. This is because usually if a woman doesn't like you within your first meeting, she is unlikely to change her mind unless a miracle happens. The real truth is that no matter how amazing a woman may seem, there is always one better somewhere, and even if there were not, its not worth wasting your time for too long if she will never return your affection.

The third case is maybe the worst, its when a guy latches onto the first woman that gives him even the slightest sign of attraction because he is not confident in his ability to meet other women. All of these problems can be solved with the right mindset and knowledge. So the 'takeaway' for today is, if you find yourself only dating one woman who you aren't even physical with yet and getting nowhere, you should not feel guilty about dating other women. You will gain lots of experience, and will have more success for in the future.

Bar advice. The true fact that women date more than one guy at the same time but is never questioned, should tell you that you haven't given yourself all there is to pick the right one either.