Verbal abuse

A guy that lives around my neighbourhood is always making his wife feel like shit. He always has some form of verbal abuse toward her. They can be in a coffee shop and he'll be talking loudly and putting her down so others can hear. In the shops buying things and he'll raise his voice to make it seem like she's either spending too much of his money again or he'll make her look stupid like she doesn't know which brand item to buy. He's never embarrassed that everyone will be looking and continues till they reach home or till he's satisfied.

People like this may or may not know that they abuse their partners and it can be classified as a medical problem but I believe that it starts from young. How you were raised? What your parents, family members or teachers thought you and how you were disciplined.

These are people that want to be in a superior position at all times and make sure that everyone knows that they are the head of the household. They feel that if they allow anyone to talk back, interrupt them, debate or even tell them off; they'll be disrespected. They cannot accept this and thus will rule their domain and all in it with an iron fist. The relationship to them is something sealed and cannot be broken and they believe this permits them to do as they please. Say as the please. Ridicule and embarrass as they please.

There are also those that abuse with physical violence. Most of the time the violence will be inside the home as they don't want others to see it and there will not be any proof if the law is called. Verbal abuse in and outside the home tends to be at all times as it is not against the law. The verbal abuse can sometimes be so demeaning or highly embarrassing that the woman knows not where to face when she's in public. Every direction she turns will have a face staring back at her but none able to rescue. What does she do? Only to look downwards to the ground but that normally entails the abuser to get more angry and abusive because he wants her to be embarrassed. He wants her face to be seen by others. He just wants to "put her in her place" for no rhyme or reason whatsoever.

He flaunts his "power" over her and he also wants others to see it. When he's alone and in public, he's "Mr nice guy" with everyone. The worst thing is that everyone thinks he is since they have not seen his abuse or any of that behavior. They will accept him as someone that's normal in society. Question is, why can he not be like this towards his partner? Lots of times this abuse also extends toward the children and he uses them to inflict harm onto his wife more so because the tendency is she will be protecting them against any abuse.

We also should look at women that abuse their husbands. It's a true fact. Although there are far fewer cases but it does exist. Laugh if you like but there are women out there that make their husbands look like complete idiots or puppets. They "mother" them and do things that embarrass them in public as well. This tends to be in places like supermarkets and restaurants. Worse place will be at family get togethers like holidays or birthdays. They let everyone know that their man is hen pecked. He's got to bite his lip and accept it. They don't accept any "back talk" either. There's "hell" to pay if she gets she doesn't get her way. She wants all the other women, and men, to see that she's in charge. She's the one that wears the pants in the family. What she says goes in her household.

All these people seem to have a power struggle problem. They accuse, are possessive, jealous and insinuate things so as to create issues and cause these relationship problems and abuse. They can never allow anyone to have a moments peace. These people need this sort of things to feel alive. They may have been abused as a child themselves or never received the proper discipline when they were young. Also, it could be due to them being punished too harshly as a kid or they had fears that causes them to act in this manner. These fears are psychological and is deep within and it's exerted verbally or physically to people that they love. There are so many medical reasons that can be added but I still firmly believe that it all starts from a young age and is adopted so.

Living with people like this can be hard and painful. Sometimes it's best to get family members involved so everyone can assist. Domestic violence and abuse is difficult for everyone to confront. An intervention of this nature can backfire with violence from the abuser on everyone but it may be necessary. One should always report the abuse to the police. Separation may be necessary. What ultimate decision can later be attained. Moving out is one of the better options and divorce, after much consideration may be needed if there's irreconcilable differences.

Those in single relationships facing such problems should tell someone about it in case things escalate to serious difficulties. Trying to solve the problem is amicable but it's not an overnight result type deal. The abuser didn't get that way in a day. There may be deeper issues that even takes psychiatrist years to uncover or resolve. Don't go thinking that your love can change the person. You're in for a rude shock. In most cases the abuse only start when they are settled deep into the relationship. Be alert. Be aware.

Bar advice. Stay clear if you are involved or getting involved with someone like this. If it happened once be sure it's not going to end anytime soon.

Picking up the pieces

I recently met this guy at a bar and we were talking about work and problems in the world. Even the weather, of all things, because that's no longer a subject of convenience since we're battling global warming and it effects everyone. There's also the natural disasters that occur but we ended up talking about his personal disasters.

He seemed like a nice guy so I asked him to tell me about the problem. He went on about how he met his girlfriend, what they did and all that. It dragged on a bit but he insisted to tell me the story with more details thinking that I wouldn't understand if he didn't. Lot of graphical descriptions were added as well. He bought me a beer so I had to go through it but I knew that it would be therapeutically for him to just release what was bottled up inside.

It seemed that the the girl and him had been going out for about a year. Their in the mid twenties and having fun and both are working as well. The got decent blue collar jobs but recently the girl got a bit of a promotion. It seems that the boss had taken a liking to her. It all started at her company dinner and dance and she brought him but everyone assumed that she was unattached. I asked him why that was. He said, as the night went on, he found out later from her colleague that she was really carefree at work. Flirted with all the guys at work. Dressed quite seductively at times and was very forthright with guys. It seems that she was having two lives and keeping secrets from him. Before I could ask another question he interupted me and told me to wait till the story had ended.

The worse was yet to come. He told me that she was suppose to go to a company barbecue on one of the weekends and he couldn't come but in truth she had spent the weekend with her direct boss at a hotel. The same colleague, whom he got the number from, told him because he wanted an inside source and promised not to reveal names. They had a heated argument and it seems she denied everything. They argued for days over the phone and on several meetings. He told me he was hurt that they never slept together but she went with someone else and now they had broken up. His hand raise to halt me from asking questions. So I let him continue.

Then he goes on to tell me the colleague and himself were still in contact after that and the person happened to be female. They started talking on the phone for hours on end on a daily basis. Him pouring his feelings out to her about his broken heart and she trying to console him. Then he says they started going out and when it came to Christmas, they got a room. Sometime after they had made love and still in the nude, the door bell rang. She answered it and let in the guest but immediately went to the bathroom. The guy was shocked to see his ex-girlfriend there. The ex was stunned to see him with her colleague.

The girl emerged from the bathroom, all dressed, and shouted at his ex for being too friendly with the guy she really liked. The boss. She also accused her of getting the promotion by unscrupulous means. She revealed that she planned all of it from the start and how she injected stories and false information into his mind about his ex-girlfriend so she could hurt her the same way. She left after a bit more words.

The ex-girlfriend cried after that and as she looked at him she asked why he didn't trust her or believe her in the first place. Their relationship had been destroyed and what he did in the hotel room with the girl was the last nail in the coffin. She felt he was forever dead to her. She left crying and he was left to contemplate what had happened over all that time. What was happening to his life and why he mistrusted his girl in the first place? Will he be able to go picking up the pieces in his life?

Bar advice. Things like this do happen in real life and not only in movies. Sympathy for this guy is normal but I advised him certain things that I won't write here. Just be a witness to his story and learn.

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Pumping up your sex life

Even if you're in or not in a relationship that long, her are some tips that can help with pumping up your sex life. Sometimes we get into routine if we've been together for sometime. Singles can take this as future lessons. Here we go.

Sleep naked
Even Posh Spice does it. Sleeping in the buff might not get you more sex, but it will add an element of sensuality to your bedtime routine. Every time you brush up against each other, you'll feel soft, smooth skin and you know what that could lead to. Especially on chilly nights.

Sexy bedtime story
Take turns reading sexy books or articles. Something like the Kama Sutra to get in the mood. Stimulate the mind, and your bodies will follow. Visit the sex or erotic literature section of a bookstore, or go online for more ideas.


Play dress up
Dressing up isn't just for Halloween. Does your partner fantasize about a hot nurse or a fireman coming to the rescue? Sharing fantasies and then finding ways to safely act them out can be a lot of fun. If you think you and your partner will just break into giggles, all the better. Laughing together helps couples bond and feel closer, so it's a wining situation for both.

Playthings
This will be a shopping spree that even most guys will enjoy. The Internet has made it easy to shop together for sexy toys in the privacy of your own home. Try searching for everything from fine leather to chocolate body sauce to fuzzy restraints. It's just for fun. You may not use them all the time.

Flattery gets everywhere
Nothing will snuff out your sex drive faster than feeling taken for granted. For couples, there's always the danger of growing a bit complacent. You can keep the embers of your love hot by making a point of complimenting each other at least once a day. Remember, men love words of flattery as much as women.

Switch off and switch on
Agree that one night it'll be all about you, and the next all about your partner. When it's their turn, remind them early in the day. You might even try whispering in their ear a little something you have in mind for later. They'll be looking forward to it all day long. Sometimes you also need to use a new method or position to excite your partner. He or she may not like it so you can remove it next time but you'll be appreciated for the effort.

Location
See who can come up with the most creative spot in the house to do it. What about on the washing machine, shower, sofa, dining room table, pool table, if you got it? Let your imagination run wild. If you want to get even more adventurous, consider places outside the home, like a hotel room, the beach or at the back of your car on a quiet street. The mile high club is always looking for new members.

Dancing
Bodies bumping. Hips shaking. Salsa or lambada moves is what you're going for here. Go out dancing or, better yet, take a dance class together. Try partner dancing. Once you know a few basic moves you'll find you both may just get turned on when listening to it in bed.

Supercharge your body
Couples often pass on sex not because they aren't in love or attracted to one another, but because they're too exhausted. Healthy habits like eating right, getting enough sleep and exercising can improve your sex life dramatically. Improving your sex life might also be as simple as crossing a few things off your list, so you have more time and energy for lovemaking. Consider what's more important for your happiness, a clean car or mind-blowing sex?

But we forgot to mention the first and most important step to getting more and better sex out of your relationship. Talk about it! If your partner uses a new technique or moves don't go thinking that it was learnt from another person. Maybe they took the time to find better ways to please you. Sharing these tips and your own ideas with each other might just be the thing to start the sparks flying. Most of all, have fun and remember to use your imagination.

Bar advice. Remember also to tell your partner, when having sex, that you're enjoying what they're doing at that moment so they will know what to do next time. Don't expect them to read your mind and lastly thank them for a great time, every time.

Why men should shave pubic hair

This You Tube video features, TV talk show host, Py Kim on one of her many videos about relationship, sex and things that people need to do for the human body that helps to please their partner.

From her book Sex secrets of an American geisha, she introduces audiences to what she feels helps. Here she demonstrates why me should shave pubic hair.

Bar advice. Not all women complain about pubic hair. In fact lots of them love it. It will feel more painful to a woman's skin when the new emerging hair scratches their skin.

Resolution reversal

After meeting up with several people or taking to them on the phone after the holidays has made me realize that change happens to a lot of people in many ways. Some for personal reasons like self development. Others in their relationship, dating or sexual flaws. Also, those that work differently.

Sure, most of us made resolutions. Some with great reflection on their lives. Where they stand, what frame of mind they're in, what they have not accomplished yet and even the dreaded stigma of being single after all these years. Can it be all that bad? Should we start out the year with all this negativity. All the doom and gloom of last year still attached to our heels. Thus begins the resolution reversal.

You get to work and see all the co-workers, the boss, some new person, someone promoted and has their own office but worse of all you see that stupid darn desk you left behind to go enjoy the holidays. You sit there, reminiscing about the last two weeks of the holidays and then a pile of paperwork gets dumped on your desk. Reality hits you like a ton of bricks that you're back in the real world. Chained to the desk that puts money in your pocket, food on the table and shoes on your feet. You want to just scream or at least run to the first pub at knock off time and down a pitcher of beer just so you can get the taste of office air out of your system.

As the days go by, you get passing remarks about the extra weight you're carrying around after all that holiday feasting you did. Suddenly you remember you told yourself you were going to do some exercises to shape up and keep fit. Worse of all your best friend, who always seems to look great, keeps urging you to move your fat, lard of an ass to workout. It just makes you feel like tearing their head off and using it as a medicine ball just so that it will shut them up. The thing is you know deep in your heart that you really need to keep in shape. Be it married and especially single. So you put it some effort after all.

There will be the constant reminder from family members with regard to your single hood and the mirror is no help either. So what do you tell yourself, standing naked in front of that mirror? "It's going to happen for me this year". Yup, you keep telling yourself that so you feel better and try to focus your mind to that goal. You get some new clothes, shoes, hairstyle and some even a new car. You feel like there's going to be a meeting of the person of your dreams that weekend. You're going to meet them and you'll fall head over heels in love. Thoughts of showing off your love interest to everyone is buzzing in your head.

You know some people were silent when the holidays came around and you were once again alone. They didn't want to embarrass you but now you think it could happen. Optimism is good but the reality is, no prince or princess is going to show up all packaged like a doll in the store for you to choose. Wake up! People are going to have faults. They also probably can't stand the way you do certain things like burp after a meal, maybe talk with your mouth full or even the way you drive the car.

It take a lot of work to be with someone. Expectations that are high is going to leave you with a fall of the hill. To settle in comfortably with someone means accepting them as themselves. Their shortcomings and little awkward rituals or regimes was there way before you were in their lives. Are they suppose to accept yours? Without looking at the fact that you have them as well and not being judgemental or selfish will shed light onto what is really important in life and love. Also, don't let others like siblings, parents, colleagues or friends tell you that the person is not right for you. If it is collective, however, than you must be turning a blind eye to the person not being right for you in the first place. This tends to happen when one is a little desperate to close the gap of loneliness and loveless.

In a nutshell, a lot of us will end up doing the same old things like last year but there's just a few of us that finally move out of the routine and change happens. After that, if you look back at all the others, you'll see them still stuck in that time warp while you're light years ahead and happy.

Bar advice. Where would you rather be at the end of this new year? No more thoughts, memories, sorrows, writing stuff on paper or turning away. Take action now.

When Good Relationships Go Bad

This You Tube video is just highlighting some things that could happen that breaks a relationship between people. Funny thing is, the girl in the video hits the right but stupid things that could happen that makes people wonder why they got together in the first place.

Bar advice. If you ever made a mistake about someone before that you thought was "the one", just take it as a life lesson that you needed that's going to benefit your life ahead.

2008 astrology zodiac forcast

Let's take a sneak peek at what may be in store for all you lovers out there. Is it going to be loveless or will you feel like flying.

Capricorn
Capricorn your love and sex life in 2008 is certainly going to be expansive. You are the celestial favorite all year long since Jupiter, the planet of luck and growth is in your sign providing extra special gifts and opportunities. Some of these will directly affect your love life as new people enter into your world, adding color and depth if you're single, and a favorable escalation period with that special someone if you're attached. Either way Capricorn, whether you're single or taken your key phrase this year is sure to be "lucky in love."

Aquarius
In 2008 Aquarius you will have so much going on in your love, sex and personal life that it's guaranteed to be nothing less than life altering. It will be more emotional for you than usual this year Aquarius so you will have to get used to a deeper level of soul searching when it comes to your sexual desires and intimacy requirements in relationship. This could be the lifetime turning point if you're at the marrying age.

Pisces
In 2008 Pisces you will finally begin to draw a line in the sand when it comes to love and sex. Your relationships take on a more practical and steady feel as you recognize the importance of clear definitions for once. This year won't be easy Pisces, but in the end you will be rewarded with a renewed sense of structure and personal rules for what you require in love. Yes, the theme for your love forecast in 2008 is without a doubt learning how to play by the rules. The good news is that this year, you will make up your own that others follow.

Aries
Aries, you more than any other sign should be excited about the climactic promises of 2008. Over the past couple of years your sex life has been at best, hum drum and at worst, completely nonexistent thanks to Saturn, the planet of restriction, touring the area of sex and romance. Life has been dull but it's finally over and you're ready to play. In 2008 you're certain to become reacquainted with great sex. Whether you're single or in a relationship this year the name of your sex game is "making up for lost time".

Gemini
Gemini, over the past several years you've hurdled though some of the most intense and transforming experiences we can have as sexual beings longing for love.
Pluto, the planet of death, rebirth, and renewal has been touring your sign of committed partnerships for a long time. Your view on relating has been forever changed. In 2008 the intensity of Pluto will finally leave, allowing for a true rebirth in your relationships. What's even more exciting is that this year Pluto will enter the area of sex and intimacy. Gemini, your sexual nature is going to reach new, erotic depths.

Cancer
Cancer you are in for a major transitional year in 2008 in terms of love, sex, and relationship. The key to handling what is likely to come your way will be cultivating a fearless approach to intimacy. There will be lots that want you. You simply cannot be afraid to dig deep in 2008 Cancer because if you are, you'll be buried in overly dramatized sex and relationship intensity. We're not going to let this happen. This year, it's time to take control of your love life. Many of the other compatible stars see that you're the "right guy" for them.

Leo
Leo your love and sex life in 2008 is going to be either a dream come true or your worst nightmare turned into reality. It all depends on how you handle the energy of two major eclipses in the year which reflects on committed relationships. Looking for love may come too easy but holding on to it is something else.

Virgo
This year Virgo your love and sex life continues to be full of chaos and surprises. Upheaval is your keyword in 2008. This is because Uranus, the planet of unexpected and sudden events, has been present in the area of partnerships for the past few years and is not leaving anytime soon. The good news is that your sex life and ability to have some fun in love is going to get better. So in 2008 surprise might actually be a good thing. Maybe staying playful is better this year.

Libra
Libra, in 2008 you are going to find that love and sex becomes a dramatic area of your life. As one of the most romantic signs of the zodiac, this news should intoxicate you. However, at the same time don't underestimate the transcendental experiences your love and sexual life will cause this year. You may find too many suitors or if in a relationship, you find your partner not too willing because he/she is having problems of their own this year.

Scorpio
Scorpio in 2008 your love and sex life will continue to be full of ups and downs. Thanks to a continual presence of Uranus, sex and romance, the one area of your life that cannot be totally predicted in the coming year will be love and sex. As a Scorpio however, I can assure you of one thing. Erotic revolution. Just be brave to approach and not be shy. Take a chance.

Sagittarius
Sagittarius your love and sex life could feel like someone has pressed the "pause" button as you begin 2008. Nothing seems to be flowing well. Tell your adventurous soul to relax however because it will not be the dominating theme of the year. In fact Sagittarius, it's more like a warm up, preparing you for what's to come in your love and sex life for 2008. The year might start out slow, but it will certainly end up hot and steamy.

Not going to state where I got these predictions but it did come partly from the Internet somewhere and the rest is my inclusions. These are basic and full in depth details are not included. Also, it's up to you to believe in the stars or not. Astrology has been around thousands of years till today. Still though, love supersedes all levels in the universe.

Bar advice. Nothing is set in stone. These things are just a glimpse of what can possibly happen. Peoples destiny and choices are made by themselves that either haunts them or helps them.