Sexual fantasies

The only reason why people keep their fantasies to themselves is because they fear that people will think of them as weird, crazy or something like that. Sexual fantasies may involve having sex in a public place or with a friend's partner or even violence and rape. Women may have 'fantasy sex' with several men at once, while men may show an inclination towards the extremes of virgins or prostitutes. Sometimes it's just our own small fetishes that we desire.

Sometimes a woman who 'dreams' about making love to another woman may fear she is a lesbian, while a man who 'dreams' about a prostitute may feel he is betraying his wife. The actual act did not occur so there is nothing to fear. This is actually just normal human traits. It can happen consciously or subconsciously. Can we control our minds from the neurons that feed these cravings or desires? Unless you're comatose and not know what's going on. Even in that state we can't tell if someone is fantasizing. People feel there's a link to this and real life dangers that they can pose to others because of their sexual behaviour and thoughts.

Some people convince themselves that they may act out such fantasies in real life or even that they are mentally ill. It is easy to understand why some people might feel guilt and concern about their fantasies. Nevertheless, having any particular fantasy is, by itself, generally not seen as an indication that a person has a psychological problem or personality disorder. We all got some sort of fantasy. It can be general like being super rich, being a celebrity or having a dream home. The main point is that even if those fantasies came true you'd still have sexual fantasies. It's something we all cannot escape from.

I'll bet that even holy men have them as well. We don't talk about this but we know that everyone is human. They may suppress them better than others but now and again they probably arise. There's no shame in this because it's part of our human essence. In fact if you're in a relationship, my advice is to talk to your partner. Get this topic out in the open. Make things start to fill those fantasies up. Find out what he wants and what she wants. This is probably going to fire up your sex life so much that you won't know left from right. Your love relationship is your special resource that aids your sexual relationship. I just ended another session of cyber sex with the same girl previously and again she masturbated and enjoyed herself. This fantasy between me and her is just beginning.

Now let's say your man makes a comment on a sexy outfit you both saw in a magazine. He's probably imagining the girl not the clothes but don't be offended. Take it as a opportunity to fill his desires. Find a way to get that outfit or like it and role play what he wants. If a women is checking out a guy dancing she may imagine herself as the seductive partner. Make your own teasing dance when you get home. Don't go blowing up and arguing about what she was looking at and why she's interested in the guy. That all doesn't make any sense and your role playing fantasies is short lived.

Even watching porn together, and I'm not suggesting anything illegal, will help both partners experiment with things that one may not have known about or was unwilling to do. Sometimes it may backfire as pain may be involved. Do what you're comfortable with. Illustrated books can also help. The Karma Sutra has been around a long time. There are things in there that you never even heard of, tried or did. Discussing the most erotic fantasies could also put you on the path to some juicy sex.

Anything to do with more than the two of you, for example threesomes or more, is entirely between the two of you. This I advise against if there isn't strong trust between both partners. Many a time one will accuse the other of doing things with someone else without them present. If you're into this sort of thing it is always best to be with the other present. If the bonds of trust are broken it's doomed. Listen here. If you're getting the permission to be with another person sexually in the presents of your partner why do you need to sneak of with someone alone? This is the life of swingers but I'll get into that another time

Having these secret fantasies come true will make you and your partner have a better sex life. Nothing gets stale and people tend to stay together in the relationship a long time. Why go anywhere else? If you can't do it all the time maybe you can work it out to a point that both of you can do it once a week or fortnightly. Maybe you can take turns to address your partners fantasy that way there's anticipation when it comes to your week. All said and done if there's to much going on like work, then just have normal passionate sex. Making love to the person you love in a passionate sexual manner far outweighs any fantasy that's in peoples minds.

Bar advice. Sometimes staying away from each other sexually for a short time can build to a more eager anticipation. Playfulness and build up to the event will be a fantasy all on it's own.

Urges, cravings and desires

The funny thing about us human being is we have certain urges, cravings and desires on a daily basis. Sometimes it's just a fantasy that we play in our mind. Sometimes it's the urge to do something for a long time that we either haven't done before or just haven't done in a long time. Then there's desire. This, in most cases, are things that are more materialistic or sexual in need.

Men mostly desire a more seductive and beautiful girl. Never worrying if she's good in bed or not. They just want one. Women do want a nice looking guy but they also want a guy that can fill their bang with quality and not just quantity. Women want a nice environment for the seduction. A romantic location or setting to be in the mood. Nice conversation. Men, they just need a place to get it on. That's a big difference between the genders. One thinks with their heart the other with their head, and I don't mean the one on their shoulders. I'll let you figure out which is which.

Just like a pregnant women graving for ice cream or sweet corn or whatever, the thought sticks in the head for a long time. It fades in and out of the mind but the crave will still be there till it's been satisfied. Only unless it's totally unobtainable will they let it go. Sometimes we get a crush, normally women, on someone. We want to be with them or at least be known to them. If there's acknowledgement from the one they have the crush on, their feed for the grave would have been met. They'll be able to get on with their live and be content. Guys don't normally have crushes but when they like a beautiful girl they are overjoyed just by the girl's greeting or even a single smile in their direction. A guy just feels like part of the world at that moment. It's one of those funny guy things.

We can't live without sex or can we? That's another part of the urges, cravings and desires. It's scientific fact that people have some sort of sexual thoughts in their daily lives. You can be having the worse day in their lives and yet. pop, a sexual thought of someone or something will enter their mind from out of nowhere. Fantasy role playing, lustful thoughts, surfing porn, magazines(not even necessarily dirty ones), in conversations, people watching and so on add to our secret desires of the human mind. That's all it really is we're built in that way since the dawn of time. It's just that society has changed but not the cravings of the mind. If we could we would all be naked chasing after the ones we like most in the jungles. In the urban jungle of today we do it with tools like the Internet and personal ads.

The other day I was on the messenger service. Getting to know a girl and after several hours of conversation, and things heating up, we got into the whole cyber sex thing. It was fun. We had a good time. Her mostly as I had a lot of finger work to do and I don't mean on her body but on the computer keys. It's a lot of quick typing to get the messages out fast. When you got a horny girl on the receiving end you have to be fast. She typed some back but later she told me that she was playing with herself. It took me by surprised but to hear that she masturbated, got all wet and did cum, was pleasing to think that I was part of the sexual fantasy that fulfill her needs and desires at that moment. I felt good as well after she told me. I actually felt like we had sex and that I was having after sex conversation with her. By the way guys, after sex conversation is a crucial follow up step in real sex especially. Women want to hear from you. Being quiet will make her feel and think there's something wrong.

These cravings, urges and desires add fuel to the fire of our fantasies. The fact that we all want them to be fulfilled probably can't happen. This is because every time we add more of these desires and cravings in our minds that it just doesn't stop. People that get older are looking with their minds through the eyes that feel young but bodies are a little aged but it doesn't stop them from thinking these thoughts or feeling what they feel. We all got to age but as we do we try to fill all the gaps of our imagination or needs. We can all preform. We just need the right place and person.

Bar advice. Live the life you can and fill all desires even if it's as simple as Internet cyber sex. Don't forget these urges, cravings and desire are the normal human characteristics as our forefathers.

Jungle fever

What does it take for someone to see beyond the colour. The race and the backgrounds. The social standings. The religion. We live in a society, or should I say world, that frowns on interracial marriages or togetherness. Even today it is sometimes difficult and not accepted.

To change the mindset of others is hard but those that are lying in the same familiar bed of loneliness look at people differently. If anyone saw the movie Jungle fever they would know that love doesn't see all the boundaries that people place in this world. When one finds that someone special in life who is it that has the right to stop you. People don't just go out looking for someone different than them. It just happens.

This may cause people to look at them differently. Make nasty remarks. Cause problems. Even abuse. Why do people have to act this way? Wouldn't it be better if people could just change. In India the caste system that's been around looks like it's long gone but people still behave intolerantly at those of a lower status. In Muslim countries they don't accept even those that are of different ethnic backgrounds. The shame of it all.

My sister had a Muslim girlfriend that married a Hindu husband but the family rejected her. She was banished from her home and family. That's the Muslim way. Today she's well and has two kids and the husband takes care of all of them. A loss for her original family. This happens all over the world and with all sorts of obstacles for those just looking for love. Imagine what it would be like if there was more acceptance and understanding from families, people and society.

Recently I got to know this girl that's Chinese and she's been in relationships that didn't work out. She's been to the US and said she's been with Thai, American and British guys. Now she's back and seems to be looking, after a recent break up with a local boyfriend, for someone special. It may be age or loneliness but it may just be a case of not finding the right one and the right one may not be the normal stream of things or persons. I haven't met her as yet but she seems to like the blog and all that I got to say in it.

Jungle love is the coming together of people that are different. Finding solace in the arms of someone that others may look upon as odd or wrong but it doesn't mean it is. We all just want to know that we are cared for. Will someone be there to hold your hand if you're sick? Will you be alone till death? Is there someone that can love you more unconditionally than the house dog? Don't you also deserve to have what you see others having everyday. Sure, you may not be able to have kids or do certain things like pole dancing but you get the joy of the another human being loving you back. No it's not hard to be open to the possibility that you can find love elsewhere. That's just the point. Be more open. Do not and I stress again, do not care what others say.

This is your life. No one else, not parents, friends of strangers are suppose to stop you from finding true love and happiness. Fight for what your heart desires. The more people see this happening the more people will change. In fact you may surprise yourself when you find that you see life in the many different ways that you never thought possible. Opening your heart to a different sort of person is just the same as anyone else. Also, the person you're with has also got to have the same moral values and is proud to be in the relationship with you. Working things out and ironing out the issues of your relationship will bring you closer together. Making errors is part of it but acceptance of each others differences is what will mould and eventually become the bond. Strengthening it and will break others that ridicule both of you.

For all those that are ready to take the chance, jump in with both feet, go for it. Make the decision to take your life into your own hands. There should be no such thing as being too young, not making the right choice or being in a mid life crisis that should stop you. Make hay when the sun shines is the saying so do just that. What's holding you back when you can see that at the end of the tunnel there's the most beautiful rainbow that can fulfill you?

Bar Advice. It will be difficult but than again life is for everyone. Why should yours be any different? But it can be done.

Guys. Don't be boring

Don't be BORING! There is no greater sin when you're trying to attract a beautiful women. In fact, this is the number one cause of "nice guys". It's not that women don't like nice guys. They do but oftentimes those types have some sincerity in them but it's just that nice guys aren't exciting. They're predictable to the girl. That's why they, often times, like those with the bad boy image but are really nice guys as well. Get the point?

I don't expect you to go out and buy a leather jacket or ride a Harley Davidson motorbike or even become a karate champion. Sometimes being who you are but making yourself to be a little more cool in her eyes is the key. It works for geeks like Bill gates, sure, if you have a bank account larger than the economies of some countries. Then again, Bill gates personifies a sense of being cool in his own way because he did what nobody around the world has done. This gives him an image of iconic proportions so the competition is zero. Women do look up to him and they want to be in his inner circle.

This is something that you need to be doing as well. Make them want to be near you. Her heart is seeking adventure. she wants to be swept off her feet. Now, this doesn't mean that you have to go bull riding or bungee jumping on a first date, but it does mean you can't be predictable. You can't be bland because that path is so obvious. She'll know what you'll say and do five minutes before you do it. Guys, how long can you watch a painfully formulaic movie before getting annoyed, especially if there aren't any explosions? She needs you to stir her life up a little and let's face it almost everyone will pick exciting over pleasant any time.

Now, jerks aren't pleasant people. She won't like that. This isn't a positive, in fact, it's the reason jerks rarely find themselves in long term or stable relationships but what jerks are; is unpredictable. Women will go out with them but in the end they'll be dumped as well. The important thing is to be unpredictable but not be a jerk to her or her friends. I don't know about you, but my aim in life has never been to be an abusive asshole. Even when I was younger I recognized that guys that were pricks got more women than they should, and that I would probably increase my success by following that pattern but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Deep down, most of us are nice guys. Tell you a secret. Lots of guys that have a bad boy image, deep down inside are in fact nice guys.

They sometimes prevail this image to women so in the event that things go wrong they can walk away with their heads held high although their little hearts are broken. They don't show their vulnerability but if a woman has been with a that guy for some time she will discover the real him. She'll love him even more that she actually has the good guy that she's always wanted and didn't realize.

Another tactic is what is called the delay method. If the women wants to go and have sushi, don't take her there on that night. Wait a week or so then bring her. You gain points for listening and thoughtfulness. If she's been talking about going to a certain place, eventually bring her there but do it with an element of surprise. She'll be all the more excited to go. Guys sometimes have a tendency to slip up and do everything that she ask. Advice here is don't be giving in even if she's whining about it. There may be the exception if you also want the same thing and you think it will move you ahead in the relationship.

By the way, delay, it counts about a thousand fold when it comes to sex. Few things are sexier than a man who doesn't lose it at the sight of an exposed breast. Don't make her think that her tits were the first lumps you've ever seen apart from Playboy magazine. If you can control yourself and delay satisfaction until you're ready to give it, the anticipation becomes more powerful than act alone and making the act all the more powerful when it happens. Yes, I'm still talking about sex but I'm talking about all the rest of it too. Trust me the "delay" game works.

Bar advice. Guys should find ways to improve themselves and not appear boring. One idea is to picture a role model as a muse to the change and try to emulate him. Most importantly find out what women are looking for.

Dating from a online website

I recently went check out this online dating website. I won't mention it but I got to say it was the only one that I know that allowed gold members to message standard members and vice-verse. found that out later on though. I actually found it as part of the junk mail and spam that we all get. Anyway I went to check it out. Joined as a standard member a went to search. It wasn't all that great a site but had some nice looking members.

With all the relationship advice that I write here, never did I think that I would actually be browsing the site as much. Probably because after closing down the bar I had more time on my hands. Then, I came a cross Angela. Her picture is what really caught my eye. red dress and all. Found out that I could message her because she was a gold member, so I did. We went back and forth a bit and finally got our emails exchanged. Then started to get on MSN messenger.

The first time we were on it was a bit of a disaster. She didn't seem to like what I was saying. I was already on first before she got on so to me it seemed that she was preoccupied with doing other things rather than have a chat with me. The conversation didn't rally go all that smooth. Me trying to be cool and all. I never really had difficulties with getting to know someone when you already know them a little. Know what I mean? She seemed like a dodo bird to me on certain things but she didn't like one or two jokes I made or remarks. I had to apologize to keep her pleased. I was actually just testing waters to see what sort of chick this was. Then I find out she's a Taurian/Snake. All hell was about to break loose.

This is what I know about a Taurus/Snake.

THE SLITHERING STOIC
This is the most natural of Snakes. Snake people often display cosmic leanings and cleave to the other worldly. Taurus grounds them. This Snake will be intuitive (as usual), yet wonderfully discreet. The Taurus part of the character will lend earthiness. This wildly attractive creature causes havoc among members of the opposite(or same for that matter)sex. People cannot control their desire to be controlled by this marvelously sensual type whose alluring bedside manner is almost as dangerous in as it is out of bed. The steamy sexual reputation of this cool, yet earthy creature is legendary. When a Taurean born Snake wraps itself around a sex partner, the victim has absolutely no chance of(nor any desire for)escape.

Once I read this, my first thoughts was, how can I get those legs to wrap around me. I started to get more queries about this feline. Just by looking at her picture on the website and our messages I could get the sense that this one was the type that played it cool and waited for the proper time and approach. She was typical of a real snake that would be willing to just sit there and be admired of her beauty by all but only engage when she wanted to. When we got together on messenger again it wasn't as bad and seemed less hostile than the first encounter. I felt like Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter, here. It ended with a stoic response to goodnight that I thought it was doomed.

At the end of the week somehow she got online really late. About 1am. We were back and forth about a lot of things. She opened up brilliantly. I never had a better conversation with her. I guess it's because snakes naturally like it better in the night. We had frank exchanges and I hoped that we both understood each other a little better. We were online for several hours. I even found out that her dad was a ex-cop. We joked about him shooting me. Probably in deep water now though.

Anyway, I tried to make her see the actual me and really tried to figure her out. I was feeding her info about the man I was and what I was all about. She did the same but in lesser info than I would like to have had. One should know that two people trying to get a relationship started takes a small step at a time but sometimes you need to be bold and move faster a little. At times this may not be the right move because a woman tends to feel a little hurried into the relationship and may just abruptly end it all then and there before it can even begin. Naturally snakes will rather have a less confrontational approach to anything. In a way it worked out. I wasn't going to tell he about the blog. In fact I didn't write anything till now because I told her I was going to do so. This sought of caught her off guard and now she might be reading this.

I think she just wants to kill me at this point for all this stuff written here but I got to do this. All the blog items I wrote may actually help her out. I sense that she's the sort that needs a little coaxing to come out. Maybe she need a little more time. Maybe she's doesn't feel as ready as she would like to be. Bottom line is we both haven't met. A one time meeting could make or breaking a relationship. I already told her if it didn't work out, hopefully we could be friends. It really will come down to what a person wants. Initially I told her that I wanted to be a bit more mysterious and take things slow but just getting to know each other online but, hey, Christmas is coming.

Here's a bit of advice to those that do online dating. The websites are there to help connect people and it's better and faster to find someone. Some are online with different intentions and false information. Others are branded the same even when they are innocent. One individual is different from another. Having previous boy or girlfriends cannot cloud your judgement of someone new. Don't make the same wrong moves that got you here in the first place. Don't judge others the same way. Trying not to look desperate and acting uninterested will get you nowhere. Opening up to the possibilities that the universe can bring you a partner in life, even after all the hurt before, is what you may find at the end of the rainbow of your dreams.

Bar advice. Take a chance. Not everything comes in the package that you wanted, desired or wished for. Sometimes it's a little old, broken, damaged, discarded or in pieces. Can you be the glue to fix it?

When the magic fades

Being in love is the super feeling that makes everything else seem trivial in this doggy dog world. If you're in love now or ever been than you know what I mean. My mom, when I was young, use to say that people in love think that they can live on love and fresh air alone. Actually I think that most people in love probably do think that way. I know I did.

The thing is, it was so true what my mom said. People at a younger age will think that way till they get older and are in the same relationship. Many will feel the effects of what the world and all it's blocks and walls can bring. Priority changes especially when you're a girl and you got parents nagging at you for not thinking about settling down. The nagging also continues about the no good bum you've been dating for all these years. Women get more of a hard time because parents feel that their prime may go quicker and they'll be "left behind" or on the "shelf" and eventually the guy she's with may end up dumping her. Can you blame your parents about the worrying or trying to give you advice?

All said and done. In the event that you do or don't get married, what will happen when the magic fades? I've seen it happen before. Once, a guy I knew, broke up with his girlfriend of over eleven years. She was thirty four when that happened. It's easier for a guy to rebound but women will have a hard time. Why they waited to get married I don't know but I think that it was better for her that they didn't. If she became a divorcee, it would have been worse for her to get another guy. Don't know if she ever did. Never saw her again.

Most of the time when the magic is fading, there seems to be a lot of pressure, arguments, abuse, temper and other stuff. Guess you can understand what I mean? It's all part of maturity and development. Where are our priorities? Are we going to do everything for the person we are with or is it just "puppy love"? Most women I know always say they hate the guys that "play games". There are some women that do that too, actually. They fake the interest just so that they need not be alone. They lead a guy on so they have someone to go out with or just to talk to. They don't want to look single in front of family and friends. In most cases there is either no sex or bad sex in this relationships.

If we can see that there is a problem arising we need to have a proper discussion with our partner. Ironing out the issues will be much better that all the shouting, yelling and phone banging that will go on for days. Is this the person you're going to marry for the rest of your life? It's better to get out of it now, even if it was ten years together, than ending up a bloody mess later. Worse, is kids are involved. With kids involved your problems will haunt you till the day you die. Even after divorce, it will haunt you till death because the kids are a part of both of you.

My advice to this is constant reaffirmations to each other. Tell the person your appreciation of being with them. Give compliments. Give in to the other. Who doesn't like to be "right" but who likes being in the dog house? If you want to make it work you got to intensify your commitment to the person that you are with more every year down the line. This includes after marriage. Don't just think that after the chase is over that all will be well. It takes a lot of effort for that magical flame not to go out. In fact it can go out faster in marriage.

Working out all the issues is far better than battling it out. One example is to stop in the middle of an argument, take a breath and change your tone. Tell the other that you both need to discuss the issue as a team. Try it, this works. Some people I've seen can go on a yelling rampage between each other in supermarkets, malls, theaters, bars and so on. You name it. It make you wonder why they are together in the first place. Will they have endless bliss? Will you?

Bar advice. The person you're with is going to be with you for a very long time. Don't you think it's best to lay solid foundations for your relationship. This is going to be your partner. What are you willing you do, starting now?

Deep Sexual Bliss

These compelling benefits can raise your stud-muffin factor 100 fold! You can last as long as you want in active lovemaking, including during intercourse.>

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Each orgasm can last longer and be more intense than an ordinary ejaculation. Usually these orgasms are experienced as pleasure throughout the body rather than being restricted to the genitals alone. You can maintain optimal prostate health.

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You will also learn these..
Yin and Yang and how they relate to men and women. How variations of the missionary position can create better sexual friction. How to do the “Full Lift” to adequately stimulate the g-spot. Why sideways positions are best for sharing spiritual energy. How skilled women can let her man “Ride the elevator”.

“The Queen’s Ecstasy”, "Slipslide” and it's variations. Why you should not follow the golden rule of "do unto others". How to do "Grounding Exercises" and why they are important. What the "Yab Yum" position is and how to achieve it. Where to place your hands to best help circulating the sexual energy. When standing positions are ideal and how to accomplish them.

Positions that allows for both partners to rest, while still maintaining sexual contact. Why opposites positions are so erotic and accomplishing their variations. Why foreplay is important for females to reach orgasms. Going from friction sex to energy sex to soul sex. The different forms of foreplay and how to engage in them.

The positions that encourage emotional unions. The importance of undressing during your lovemaking sessions. The single greatest turn-on for almost every male lover. Why the woman gives more energy and how it’s beneficial when she’s on top. Why giving and receiving massages is important. What is "Sexual Fire Breath" and why is it used. The importance of fantasies and how to enact them.

And you thought you knew everything. HA!

* Side note: If you're having a medical problem in this area, my advice is to see a doctor. These things are to enhance your performance not solve your medical issues.

Bar advice.to get deep sexual bliss, all this and more click HERE!

Relationships, lies and trust

Relationships are social connections, associations and affiliations between people. They vary in levels of depth and cover different aspects such as friendship, family, lovers relationship and marriage. Regardless of the different kinds of relationship which a person plays in a social entity, conflicts may arise and can strain a relationship. Trust is an important element in maintaining a healthy and harmonious relationship. Conflicts normally arise due to the betrayal of trust. Whenever there is a conflict, parties may resort to accusations, harsh words and insults on each other which may eventually lead to emotional stress.

Trust is the pillar which supports relationships. Lies bring about distrust and suspicion in relationships. Lies should be taken seriously because for every time a lie is told, the level of trust will drop and create more and more suspicion between parties. Eventually, the person who tells the lies will lose their credibility and this will strain the relationship. My relationship advice in today’s modern society of heightened stress and competition is, lies are inevitable and serve as a convenient tool to evade trouble and protect oneself. Basically a white lie is a false escape. However, this form of convenience is exchanged with the reduction in trust. A person who has his trust misplaced before may have difficulty trusting people again. Therefore, with regards of relationship, once there is zero trust between both parties, this relationship has failed. Honesty is the best policy!

The most powerful tool is words but also the most destructive weapon in the world. Words can be in the form of praise and compliment but also a weapon that can hurt and leave an emotional scar in a person. When it comes to relationship, hurtful remarks and insults being hurled on a person in the fit of anger during conflicts can deeply affect the person’s psychological and emotional state. The impact of these words can be further intensified especially when it come out from a person who you are closely attached to.

The emotional effect may heal over time but it can also change a person’s perception of humanity and relationships permanently. Sometimes it has the power to drive people to same sex relationships because of the intense pain inflicted at an early age by someone they loved. They may have been cheated upon. Maybe made to be humiliated or there was also physical abuse.

In conclusion, trust and words are closely related to each other in a relationship. Lies don't fit anywhere. Any incorrect management of the first two important elements can strain a relationship. Anger management, character building and emotional stress management are crucial to prevent conflicts and handle any aftermath of failed relationships. Therefore, one should not take things to be granted and learn to cherish relationships.

Bar advice. Connecting with each other is already hard enough. Deception and the lack of trust will bring the relationship to it's knees.