Advice for guys on talking to ladies.

Guys, think a moment about what turns you on? Chances are, you're thinking to yourself about her legs, breast size or something else like that. That's alright, your thinking being that shallow is normal. It's not that men are dogs, it's that men are "visual". For most men, it's what we see in front of us that triggers attraction. It's not the be all and end all, but it dominates our first impressions.

Question is, how often do you think about what turns a woman on? You may be fooled by listening to ladies occasionally hooting at cute butts, saying something about a hot guy or swooning at Brad Pitt. Don't be! The way you strut plays a vital role. Women are much more in tune to body language, eye contact and non verbal communications, and that's where their buttons are pushed. Sure, a handsome man with a good body is attractive to women but he won't necessarily create attraction with their deeper level of wants. Attraction is created by style and attitude, by what women often call charm. If you don't look like Brad Pitt, good, because it can be learned. Just as BODY LANGUAGE trumps BODY SHAPE in attracting women, your VOICE will trump over your WORDS.

Guys trying to learn how to be more successful with women, turn to pick-up lines. Men seem to think the "right words" will move a girl's heart. Maybe it's because we've seen too many movies and you think you'll be able to get her just as easy as what you see on screen. Maybe we just can't get the difference between the jokes we tell, the things we said and what really works. If at some point you've thought that pick-up lines were the key to breaking the ice with a woman, you may be forgiven. Let's talk about what does work.

It doesn't really matter what words you use. You could have the best pick-up line in the world and it may fail but if you deliver your words well, it doesn't really matter what you say. Controlling your voice the right way will have a positive affect on many aspects of your life, but right now, we care about how it affects women. There are ways of speaking in a commanding, confident way that women find sexy and attractive. The easiest one is volume. Speak clearly and loudly doesn't mean you should yell at a woman. Your volume has to come naturally and should be the sort of thing that fills a room with your confidence. When you speak quietly, it communicates that you don't believe what you say has worth. That's the last thing you want. Don't stumble over words, be clear so you sound confident. Even hypnotic.

Another thing is speaking with confidence. When talking to ladies be a little less nervous. Women like a confident guy. She feels safer with him. She feels he's more worldly, more open, a better communicator and the fact that he can woo her makes her think you won't be an embarrassment in front of colleagues and friends of hers when introduced. She also feels that you'll be on par to communicate with her if it blossoms into a loving relationship further down the road.

Another thing, while in conversation, is be a little playful. Just like British comedies, throw in words with underline meanings. If she is on the same wave length as you she will pick them up on her radar. You can actually get a point across without never having said the actual words. Said something else and meant something completely different. The flirtatious word game is what you're trying to achieve here. The main thing is that she got the point and she may even start to get into this word playing game with you. The fact is, neither guy nor girl will really say what's on their mind in the early stages of getting to know each other. So, this lets them flirt openly but holds the dignity and respect of the lady's esteem. Now, just remember all this advice and start talking.

Bar advice. Breath deeply and calm yourself. when you know you're calm, that calm will quickly translate into COOL Someone in control of situations, a leader. An alpha male the girls want to be with.

Relationship advice on dating

We don’t, really, all fall in “love at first sight.” No, most of us find ourselves surfing through the dating pool during at least one point in our lives, and often during multiple points.

It is, of course, completely normal to feel apprehensive before a date, but a few butterflies in your stomach and sweaty palms aside, your attitude and beliefs about the date could actually form its outcome. Think about it.

Here’s how it works. The more you hold on to fears, regrets or assumptions such as that the date will be lousy or you’re sure the person isn't right for you anyway, the more those things will come true. So if you meet your date with your arms full of your emotional baggage from your past relationships, well your date will probably start carrying some of it for you and your greatest fears will come true. You will not have found your prince or princess. Due to pass relationships or dates, you tend to lay some form of blame or any shortcomings on the new person. Sometimes you measure the person to the former partner that you had which tends to leave you with a yardstick that's too great because it can only be measured in your heart.

The events and feelings in your last relationship do not determine those in your next one unless you hold on and believe they will. So if you have a date planned right now, and you’re worrying about it, analyzing it and coming up with multiple reasons why it’s not right for you, your self-doubt and fears about dating may be sabotaging your personal life. Stop adding pressure to yourself and leave the gate open for something better to come your way. In contrast, if you keep an open mind and release your past emotional baggage, such as your fears of being rejected or betrayed, you will stop the cycle. You will stop attracting more of that into your life.

Here's some relationship advice on dating in the present. You should let go of wanting to change what was and then hold in your mind what it is that you would like to have. Let go of the thoughts and feelings that say you cannot or should not have. Also, review your past relationships and figure out what worked best, then allow yourself to be open to more of that and simply get back out there and keep letting go. You may be surprised what can magically appear in your life.

You can find out everything you need to know about letting go by learning that relationships need lots of work. This is the tool used by hundreds of thousands of people to master their emotions, thereby mastering their actions, their thoughts, and their life. You can master yours too if you try to see that you have to deal with yourself first. Your self destructive thoughts, ways, communication, shallowness, mindset and such transgress outwards and makes your relationships strained and unpleasant.

So set your sights high on working things out within yourself and channeling that towards your dates. Imagine the date you’d love to have, and the person you’d love to have it with. Be adventurous and allow someone and something new to happen to you. Change can be a good thing. When you’re open to releasing, you’ll be amazed at what, and who, is attracted into your life. Keep telling yourself the good news will be coming soon, carrying flowers.

Bar advice. Standing in front of the mirror and talking to yourself about the reasons why you're not with anyone actually helps. It's a therapy of self.

Stay in the present

Are you familiar with the expression "to live in the moment?" This is the ability to be fully present and aware of yourself and your surroundings as you live each moment. Achieving such a state requires observation, appreciation, patience, quiet, and the ability to turn off the clock and put away the calendar.

While most of us don't experience such times frequently, this is when we feel the most alive. In theory, being present involves learning how to pay attention, and the process of getting there is far easier than you might think. Relationship issues can also be solved this way and you'll find it much easier in your life. There are a few simple things you can do right now to help you stay in the present and pay attention to your life experience in a very positive way.

Start by setting a few quiet minutes aside each day to close your eyes and take stock of what you are feeling, no matter how good or bad those feelings may be. Don't judge your feelings, just allow yourself to become aware of the emotions behind them. Reflecting, if any, on where it involves in your relationship, your life and what you can do to make things better.

Next, send your attention outward and become aware of things around you. Notice if you feel warm or cold, what your clothing feels like against your skin, the feeling of the air moving in and out of your lungs. Let the sounds around you filter through you and notice the underlying noises that you may have been tuning out. Then, open your eyes and notice the colors and sights around you in this same subtle, attentive way. By the time you are halfway through this little exercise, you may be surprised at how much you actually notice about your internal and external presence. If you try this, you will probably find that "paying attention" will take on a whole new meaning, and it will be a very nice one at that.

Finding the source of the 'inner' you and staying in the present helps you to see clearly where and what your relationship is all about. What make you happy in it? Where you are headed in it? Most of all, is everything working well in your life?

I hope that you can take some time to practice living in the moment and to stay in the present. I'm sure that it will change your experience in "now" time.

Women in a club

Clubs are my favorite, and I like spending time in bars. I know many guys will see those environments as having the highest concentration of available women and for a busy life it does solve a convenience issue. They're all gathered there as well because they'e on the hunt as well. Women enjoy attention, they crave it, they love the chase from men and it's the primary reason they go to clubs. They don't go to clubs with the same mindset as guys. It's hard to see that on the surface, but it's true. Now for some targeted advice for guys.

Sure, there's always the ones that were dragged there by office friends to celebrate a birthday or something but that's the exception. Here is the singles scene on things. When you meet women in a club and hit it off right away, you can take things in one of two directions. You can either go for a one night stand or angle to follow through with meeting her outside the club at a later time, on another day. Usually, in fact nearly all of the time, women will never go to clubs alone, they will go with friends, people they know, other girls, and even other guys. So even if they're there with the same mindset as you, to meet a potential boy friend, new interesting people or get laid, they still have the social pressure of their friends to consider. That social pressure weighs on their heads in ways that men will never know, and it keeps them from acting in ways that their friends might see as being distinctly separate from merely "garnering or enjoying attention" and more like "being easy", or being seen as a "slut".

That means a woman will dirty dance, be grabby, flirt, make out, and show all indications and signs that she's ready and willing to have sex and then abruptly stop that behavior or act evasive at the end of the night when the lights go on and the club is closing up. In those moments of your perceived self-studliness, you may think everything is on the right track and all you need to do is leave with her and you'll be rewarded with a night of animalistic 'boom boom'. Then the axe drops and it feels like you have a wall two feet thick to bust through to take things further. You got to remember she has to have some modesty in front of people.

Does it mean she was just faking interest the whole time? No, but if your goal is to take things further that night, you can't presume that you can just walk out the door with her as the only remaining effort. When you are making out with her, you should also be assessing what the deal is with her friends and help her to help you provide a context that allows you to end up with her at the end of the night.It could be that her friends have plans for somewhere to go after leaving the club, or she is responsible for driving someone home or one or more of her friends would judge her uncomfortably if she simply left with an unknown guy.

If you get hot and heavy with a woman in a club, then you are really only leaving one option on the table for yourself. Sleeping with her that night. If you don't follow through that night, it's highly unlikely you will ever be able to hook up with her any other time in the future. So, to make it work, you need to understand the context of what is going on with her peers so that you can work yourself into that context innocuously and eventually work your way towards finding a legitimate area of isolation for you and her where sex can happen, if ever. It could be that you tag along to an after party with them, invite them all to your place, take the same cab or otherwise get some or most of those friends to separate out on their own with an implied consent that they approve of you hanging with her. It's possible, but it's a lot of tricky work, and if it flops then you've pretty much lost her as an option and it's the end of the night with no more options. So, ask yourself, does that kind of success make sense?

In those situations, the very thing that is causing you to believe that you're on your way to success is actually premature. It sure feels good and boosts your ego, but you're not going to be satisfied with that at the end of the night, where as most women can be. By doing it that way you will start from scratch again another night with another girl. If that's what you're after, that's fine. Just be prepared to get really good at the game of follow through as the only way to bed your focus of desire because when you get hot and heavy with a woman in a club, the mood will change drastically if you try to follow through later on another day after the night and her thoughts normalize. She will think twice, hesitate, rationalize her way out of it. She will feel objectified and cause herself to believe that the only reason you want to meet with her is because you perceive her as "easy" and you just want to sleep with her. It could be true and that could be all you do want but if that's what she is inspired to think, then it will never happen for you.

If, instead, you want to do the 'boom boom' and maintain her as an option for more than just one night, you have to resist extreme physical escalation within the club. You have to basically still relay interest but become a literal "tease" whenever she tries to obtain that kind of physical attention from you. Wait until you've left the club, and you're somewhere else or following through at a later time or day to escalate physically. Maintaining that kind of patience may feel like you are not getting immediate success but it will result in a much more fulfilling time because you can build such interest with multiple women in one night. Follow through with all of them, and it only takes one success from that group to make it worthwhile, and that success is more likely to provide you repeat satisfaction rather than a one night stand.

That kind of patience also offers you the additional opportunity that even if you don't achieve the horizontal mambo with some of the women you follow up with outside the club, you can still maintain a context of befriending them and get introduced to their friends and increase your social circles, which adds additional opportunities to meet many more women. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

Bar advice. The thrill of the chase is also felt by the women. Guys, do the chase but don't chase her away.

Relationship advice on break ups

After a breakup, people often take time to reflect on the dynamics of their relationship. What went wrong and why, as well as what went right. It's not uncommon for ex-partners to begin to believe the relationship is salvageable and could potentially blossom again. No one can guarantee that rekindling a relationship with an ex will work out, but there are steps you can take to greatly increase the chances. So lets see if you can increase you chances.

Ask yourself if there's still love between you and your ex? If you are certain that you're still in love and he or she still loves you, then you could try to reestablish a successful relationship. If you aren't sure whether or not you still love one another, then you probably need to take more time until you are certain. It has to work both ways, so talk to your partner about it and be careful not to confuse love with the desire for companionship and comfort. Normally after a break up you feel out of sync from the world because of the routine you had when in a relationship.

You got to overcome doubt. One or both parties already gave up on the relationship once, so what makes you think you can make it work this time around? This is the doubt you will have. Doubt can undermine your efforts. Consider the polarities. Faith on one end, and doubt on the other. If you have decided to get back together, you have faith but inevitably, there will also be doubt. The first place to start is to recognize doubt will be there. Just being aware of this will help you find the strength to let doubt subside and not rule you. This, by the way, will be felt on both sides and is also normal.

How do you face the issues? One of the most important factors in getting back together is a willingness to face the issues honestly, together and individually. The things that led you to breakup in the first place. Since it's almost impossible to change the other person, a good place to start is with you. Ask yourself how you can take responsibility for your part in the breakup. Are there ways that you could act or react differently to a problem? What part of the relationship which was not working out was your responsibility? How can you change to make your ex see that you want he relationship to work. See how it's more about you than your ex? Make a list and then talk with your partner about your part in the problem. Take responsibility and chances are they will be forthcoming with their own shortcomings.

Staying committed to the relationship is hard work. Taking the responsibility for your part in the problems is part of the healing. Reestablishing a strong foundation for the relationship comes with making a commitment to work on these problems one at a time. This will take time, and results will be slow to come, so remain consistent and persistent. Both need to commit to making changes. If you find yourselves getting stuck, consider seeking professional assistance such as couples counseling. When negotiating what needs to change in a relationship, do your best to avoid criticism and blame. Instead, focus on what your responsibility is and make sure your partner is on board with you. The worse thing is when one does not see that they are part of the problem when the relationship is on the rocks.

Bar advice. Taking someone for granted is one of the downfalls of any relationships. Ensure that the relationship has committed conversations as often as possible.

How not to look old?

There are plenty of fashion books and magazines on the market but very few are specifically geared towards the over forty set. Today's aging baby boomer population is looking better and younger than ever and authors are beginning to take notice.

Forget about getting older gracefully. This is the beauty and style bible every woman's been waiting for. This book is the first ever cheat sheet of to-do's and fast fixes that pays off big time. All from Charla Krupp and her friends. The best hair pros, makeup artists, designers, dermatologists, cosmetic dentists and personal shoppers in the biz. Packed with eye opening details on hair color, brows, lipstick, wrinkle erasers, jeans, shapewear, jewelry, heels, and more, the book speaks to every woman from low maintenance types who don't want to spend a fortune or tons of time on her looks to high maintenance women who believe in looking fabulous at any price.

There's also 'too old' versus 'just right', before and after photos, celebrity examples of good and bad style, shopping lists of Charla's brilliant buys in fashion and beauty products and more. 'How not to look old' covers it all. Style expert Charla Krupp dishes out her secrets in this "ultimate" to-do list for looking hip and fabulous no matter what your age.

Bar advice. One key element that I find helps, is to think youthfully as well. Fitting into society is one thing but living out who you truly are helps as well.

Playing the confession game

Playing this confession game can be between you and your partner. Does not matter what the gender or sexual preference is because both can answer the questions. It's a sort of truth or dare type game. however this is a lot more personal and it leads to arousal if played in the bedroom. It can also be played in a group if you're having that sort of fun. These were meant for the heterosexual singles. Feel free to add you own questions to the game.

Questions:
First time I heard about sex, I was...
My first experience with self stimulation was...
The farthest I have ever gone in a parked car was...
The thought of watching women in the nude makes me...
When someone tells me a dirty joke, it usually makes me...
The first time I had an orgasm or cum, I thought I was....
The sexiest person I ever shared a bed with was...
The worst thing I ever did to not make love was...
The excuse I most often hear for not making love is...
My favorite method of picking up someone is...
The most I have ever flirted with a colleague was...
I am dressed the hottest is when I am wearing...
If I ever surprised my partner in the act of self-stimulation, I would probably...
To describe my "sexual equipment" in one word it would have to be...
The thought of making love to two others at the same time really makes me...
To estimate how often I fantasize about making love to a stranger, would be...
If my friends all decided to skinny dip, I would probably...
If, on a first date the subject of birth control came up, I would...
If on a cruise and I discovered the passengers were nudists, I would probably....
If my brother/sister announced his homosexuality, I would probably...
If I saw my best friend moonlighting as a male/female stripper, I would probably...
The most exciting place I have ever made love was...
If opening a package addressed to my partner and contained sex toys, I would...
If someone much younger asked me to teach everything I know about sex, I would...
When it comes to making love on a water bed, my experience has been....
If my lover wanted to video tape our love-making, I would probably...
When it comes to making sensual noises during sex, I consider myself...
The one thing about sex that I wish I knew when I was younger is...
I would consider going to a nude beach if...
If I found my partner in bed with a member of the same sex I would probably...
The last person in the world I would make love to is...
My favourite sexual position is...
If I have a sexual fetish, it would have to be...
When it comes to making love on the first date, it has always been my policy to...
My experience with an obscene phone call was...
The time I thought I needed a sex therapist was...
The relative I would most like to have sex with, if we were not related, would be...
The thought of making love to a virgin makes me...
The sexual technique that I am weakest at is...
The sexual technique that I am best at is...
The part of my body that responds most to fondling is...
The part I most like to be touched at is...
What I like someone to do to me sexually but there not say is...
You would allow someone to see you making love secretly if...
I hate a tongue in/at my...
My ultimate fantasy about sex in a public place is...
The last sexual request I was asked was...
While making love I fantasize about...
I would make love with my colleague only if...
Last time someone tried to seduce me was...
The one thing I hate about sex is...
The thing I dislike about my partners sexual method is...
The position I prefer most when making love is...
I need sex a lot because I feel...
The one thing that my partner doesn't know about my secret fetish is...
The number of times I am physically capable of making love is...
The truth is I like sex a lot because of...

These are many examples of questions that you can add to the game. Place them in a hat and start pulling them out. There's no real right or wrong answers here. Just having fun and laughing at them will bring sexual stimulation. This can be played with your partner or a total stranger. The answers will be almost different with everyone. Try it.

Bar advice. Remember, if you're playing this the first time with your partner, take note of some of the answers because you can help make their needs, fantasies or desires come true. You'll be having the best time after that if you...

Phone sex

Now this is quite common in many countries that have the payment method where people call in to listen to someone tell them some fatasy and it "get's them off" but when normal people have phone sex; well, it can become a disaster.

There's some of us that can pull it off but many are just not sure what to say or how to turn on someone else if their not in their presence. The phone is a great tool but what do you do when faced with the fact that now your partner is going to sense that you got no sexual imagination or fantasies. It is difficult for some to express something mentally rather than pshysically especially with sex. Not uncommon.


Bar advice. This may not be for everyone but it can highten the sexual relationship of people that are in anticipation of the next time they make love.