Here's a humorous look at things that guys say to their other halves and what they really mean. You'll have a nice laugh.
"I'm going fishing." Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
stupid and stand by a pond with a stick in my hand, while
the fish swim by in complete safety."
"It's a guy thing." Really means.... "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?" Really means... "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"Uh huh, " "Sure, honey, " or "Yes, dear." Really means... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"It would take too long to explain." Really means... "I have no idea how it works."
"I'm getting more exercise lately." Really means..."The batteries in the remote are dead."
"We're going to be late." Really means..."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means..."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"That's interesting, dear." Really means... "Are you still talking?"
"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love." Really means... "I forgot your birthday again."
"That's women's work." Really means... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
"You know how bad my memory is." Really means..."I remember the theme song to 'Titanic, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot this was the day we got married."
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." Really means... "I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt because I was doing that stupid thing you said not to do."
"I do help around the house." Really means... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." Really means... "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon."
"I can't find it." Really means... "Help look for it for me. You know where everything is."
"What did I do this time?" Really means... "What did you catch me doing?"
"I heard you." Really means..."I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and I'm hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next days yelling at me."
"You look terrific." Really means... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
"I missed you." Really means... "I can't find my socks, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." Really means..."I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again."
"I don't need to read the instructions." Really means... "I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."
Lastly,"I love you dear." Really means..."Forgive me for the big, bad thing I did that I'm about to tell you.
Bar advice. How many of you ladies have heard these things. Remarkable that you understand what it 'really' means when it's explained to you.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Baywatch type pool party
See how much fun people are having at the beach. That's how to be at this time of the year. It's summer time. Party a little.
Bar advice. Don't worry too much about difficulties in love and life at this moment. Give yourself a break.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Summer time
What can be said about this time of the year. Party!!! Well maybe not everyone but most people. What are you going to do?
I tell you, this is the time to go freak the day and night. Be happy. Let loose. Enjoy. Don't let things get you down. The beach is calling. Ladies get your bikini on and guys find those scantily clad babes. Don't waste time thinking about what you want but really what you need right now. Have fun.
This is the time of year that you want to just be happy inside. Both guys and girls should be out to have a good time and not think so much about a deep lasting relationship. If that can happen then great but if it doesn't than just enjoy life as it is.
Go to clubs and bars. get a little drunk. If you're in a group of friends then check out for others that are doing the same. Sometimes when we're not looking for anybody, the right one just pops up. Last of all. Dance till you drop.
Bar advice. This is short and sharp. Let loose. The party is just beginning.
I tell you, this is the time to go freak the day and night. Be happy. Let loose. Enjoy. Don't let things get you down. The beach is calling. Ladies get your bikini on and guys find those scantily clad babes. Don't waste time thinking about what you want but really what you need right now. Have fun.
This is the time of year that you want to just be happy inside. Both guys and girls should be out to have a good time and not think so much about a deep lasting relationship. If that can happen then great but if it doesn't than just enjoy life as it is.
Go to clubs and bars. get a little drunk. If you're in a group of friends then check out for others that are doing the same. Sometimes when we're not looking for anybody, the right one just pops up. Last of all. Dance till you drop.
Bar advice. This is short and sharp. Let loose. The party is just beginning.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Being unsure
Recently I had this girl, Mindy(not real name), come to the bar. She works nearby in a restaurant at the same area. She's been to the bar several times already. Firstly coming with a colleague but now with a new boyfriend.
As we got to talking about different things, she looked troubled so I queried her as to what was wrong. It turned out to be a little bit of a relationship issue. It wasn't so much of things going bad but she added that it was partly due to her own character flaws that added fuel to the fire. I recently checked her Pig/Capricorn zodiac signs and found this about her.
This mix creates a being of infinite talent and aspirations to match. The sky is the limit. Capricorn/Pigs never see themselves as less than monstrously famous and hugely wealthy. These folks are grandeur specialists, whose personal goals of cosmic proportions don't stand in the way of their equally epic egos. There is, in the Capricorn/Pig makeup, a certain refreshing purity of desire. No Capricorn/Pig ever underestimates him or herself. Some claim that such a clearheaded attitude toward blatant self-seeking ambition is healthy. This person undertakes vast artistic projects and gives generously to cultural institutions. The Capricorn/Pig is a faithful and passionate lover. But he or she is also a smothering one. Possessive is a mild word to describe how they cling to the object of their desire. Scenes. Rows. Rages. Fits. They don't get angry often, but when they do, run for your life.
Looking at this tells me that it may be a problem of wanting to be with the person so much and clinging on that the partner feels there's no room to breath. What's the normal reaction of someone drowning and trying to get to the surface for air? After the feeling of relief from the fresh air, they want to get the hell out of the water as quick as possible. The trouble free feeling sets in and they're glad that it's all over. The fact that she may from time to time have a row or be angry with the other and often in public, can be a real put off for anyone.
As the conversation deepen we went into the topic about her sex life, which she initially did not want to comment, and asked if they were doing anything. She laughed and told me no. Just some kissing, touching and petting. She did not want to awnser me when I asked if she was still a virgin. Telling me that it was personal. That may be true but I found that she seemed very naive and at times could be gullible to things that people tell her or to things that she doesn't know about. When I first met her she was wearing braces and at the age of twenty five seem to make her look like a kid. Now with this new guy, the braces are off and she's doing herself up more that shows her feminine side even more.
I look at it as a girl evolving into a woman. Not quite there yet. She is petite but pretty. Looking for love. Wanting to have carear, a man, parents approval, good friends, money, security, joy, fulfillment and so on. Basically he world. Who doesn't? The thing is we must not be naive to the world around us or be gullible when people tell us things because we are not exposed enough. Nobody wants to be alone. If you're willing to settle for less than what you deserve then accept all the flaws that you have and the person you're with. If you want more of everything then be willing to accept that your partner is not perfect. You can't always get what you want and the world doesn't work the way that we all want. In short, we're only human.
I hope that she comes around to see me again. I really do like her. I want to help her and in fact told her to read this blog to get some insights about relationships or source out the info elsewhere. I look at this young, petite, pretty and sweet girl and think that any guy would be lucky to have her, yet, she may end up being her worse enemy by not being able to change and adapt herself to others, surroundings, and her relationships.
Bar advice. Some people need others to tell them things about themselves that they don't see about themselves. Seeing you own shortcomings or discussing them can be intimidating but being open to help from friends improves things.
As we got to talking about different things, she looked troubled so I queried her as to what was wrong. It turned out to be a little bit of a relationship issue. It wasn't so much of things going bad but she added that it was partly due to her own character flaws that added fuel to the fire. I recently checked her Pig/Capricorn zodiac signs and found this about her.
This mix creates a being of infinite talent and aspirations to match. The sky is the limit. Capricorn/Pigs never see themselves as less than monstrously famous and hugely wealthy. These folks are grandeur specialists, whose personal goals of cosmic proportions don't stand in the way of their equally epic egos. There is, in the Capricorn/Pig makeup, a certain refreshing purity of desire. No Capricorn/Pig ever underestimates him or herself. Some claim that such a clearheaded attitude toward blatant self-seeking ambition is healthy. This person undertakes vast artistic projects and gives generously to cultural institutions. The Capricorn/Pig is a faithful and passionate lover. But he or she is also a smothering one. Possessive is a mild word to describe how they cling to the object of their desire. Scenes. Rows. Rages. Fits. They don't get angry often, but when they do, run for your life.
Looking at this tells me that it may be a problem of wanting to be with the person so much and clinging on that the partner feels there's no room to breath. What's the normal reaction of someone drowning and trying to get to the surface for air? After the feeling of relief from the fresh air, they want to get the hell out of the water as quick as possible. The trouble free feeling sets in and they're glad that it's all over. The fact that she may from time to time have a row or be angry with the other and often in public, can be a real put off for anyone.
As the conversation deepen we went into the topic about her sex life, which she initially did not want to comment, and asked if they were doing anything. She laughed and told me no. Just some kissing, touching and petting. She did not want to awnser me when I asked if she was still a virgin. Telling me that it was personal. That may be true but I found that she seemed very naive and at times could be gullible to things that people tell her or to things that she doesn't know about. When I first met her she was wearing braces and at the age of twenty five seem to make her look like a kid. Now with this new guy, the braces are off and she's doing herself up more that shows her feminine side even more.
I look at it as a girl evolving into a woman. Not quite there yet. She is petite but pretty. Looking for love. Wanting to have carear, a man, parents approval, good friends, money, security, joy, fulfillment and so on. Basically he world. Who doesn't? The thing is we must not be naive to the world around us or be gullible when people tell us things because we are not exposed enough. Nobody wants to be alone. If you're willing to settle for less than what you deserve then accept all the flaws that you have and the person you're with. If you want more of everything then be willing to accept that your partner is not perfect. You can't always get what you want and the world doesn't work the way that we all want. In short, we're only human.
I hope that she comes around to see me again. I really do like her. I want to help her and in fact told her to read this blog to get some insights about relationships or source out the info elsewhere. I look at this young, petite, pretty and sweet girl and think that any guy would be lucky to have her, yet, she may end up being her worse enemy by not being able to change and adapt herself to others, surroundings, and her relationships.
Bar advice. Some people need others to tell them things about themselves that they don't see about themselves. Seeing you own shortcomings or discussing them can be intimidating but being open to help from friends improves things.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Anytime for as long as you want
Bar advice. Those that need help for erctile dysfunction or prolonged sex life even understanding sex transmutations can get this book that can really help you. Forget about Viagra, Cialis and all that other stuff. If you're looking for other ways, get this book.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Male erections
The other day I happen to pick up a magazine and was reading some articles about bars and such when I came across this section on questions from readers. The questions can be about anything really. From health issues to bars, women, men, dogs, dresses to whatever comes to mind. The 'genius' writer seems to answer them all.
It just so happen that a reader sent in a question about her boyfriend's erection. She asked why it happened when he was asleep and is it due to him possibly having wet dreams or something. To me it seemed that she may have been a much younger lady or just naive to these things till now. Anyway, the guy wrote about it and I'm going write some of the details that he wrote and add my own comments to it as well.
Basically a normal healthy male will have a few full erections during the course of the night. Blood circulates throughout the body and the penis, which is pure muscle, gets it's fair share thus the involuntary erection happen. The man is unaware of this unless he wakes up and feels it stiffness. There is more scientific explanations for it but that's the simple design layout of what takes place.
The column writer called it his 'morning glory'. I thought it made sense to call it that since it normally happens in the morning and you could say that it's a glorious part of the male anatomy. Also that may just be the hardest erection of the day.
If you're a young woman and want to know what in the world to do when this occurs, well, nothing. If a guy wakes up it will eventually subside down and he'll probably go take a piss but if he does it while it's still hard then you got some cleaning to do in the toilet because it's going to be all over the floor and walls. It's not that he can't aim well. It's just that the muscles will start to expand and contract while he's taking the piss so for a while he's lost control of his penis function and it becomes a nightmare.
If you're in love and when you see that his 'morning glory' is in full bloom. Take advantage of it. He's sleeping. Take it and place it inside you. If you weren't sure that he was having a wet dream, he'll be having one then. From a male stand point I'll tell you that you would be giving him a gift if you did that. Guys are horny at the moment they wake up because of this really hard erection. It gets that way because of the blood circulation as explained earlier and it activates the mind sexually as well because the penis endings makes that sensation flow to the brain. Their minds start to think of lustful thoughts because of the erection and if you're there they won't hesitate to get into action. If you get on top of him just be gentle as his bladder is still full so discomfort will be the feeling rather then pleasure.
Ladies, there's nothing to be shy about. I even heard that women have some sort of tingaling sensation in the mornings at their clitoris. This is not clear to me and only the females can confirm this. I got the morning news sent to you here about men and that's all I'm qualified to talk about. Just in case there's some of you out there that don't see your man having the 'morning glory' or any erection at all, guess what? He's probably got what we call penis erectile dysfunction. Sorry to say that this may not just be medical or physical but is sometimes psychological in nature that makes this come(or not cum)about. Seek medical advice.
If you want to have a happy sex life. Don't meddle with what's happening in his head when he's sleeping but rather take the head of his 'morning glory' to meddle with to wake him up. Trust me, if you want to have some of the best sex in your life than these are the things to consider and work on. He'll also be continously turned on and the two of you won't stop finding new ways to please each other.
Bar advice. The saying goes "make hay while the sun shines" and if you find a 'morning glory', all the better to start the day.
It just so happen that a reader sent in a question about her boyfriend's erection. She asked why it happened when he was asleep and is it due to him possibly having wet dreams or something. To me it seemed that she may have been a much younger lady or just naive to these things till now. Anyway, the guy wrote about it and I'm going write some of the details that he wrote and add my own comments to it as well.
Basically a normal healthy male will have a few full erections during the course of the night. Blood circulates throughout the body and the penis, which is pure muscle, gets it's fair share thus the involuntary erection happen. The man is unaware of this unless he wakes up and feels it stiffness. There is more scientific explanations for it but that's the simple design layout of what takes place.
The column writer called it his 'morning glory'. I thought it made sense to call it that since it normally happens in the morning and you could say that it's a glorious part of the male anatomy. Also that may just be the hardest erection of the day.
If you're a young woman and want to know what in the world to do when this occurs, well, nothing. If a guy wakes up it will eventually subside down and he'll probably go take a piss but if he does it while it's still hard then you got some cleaning to do in the toilet because it's going to be all over the floor and walls. It's not that he can't aim well. It's just that the muscles will start to expand and contract while he's taking the piss so for a while he's lost control of his penis function and it becomes a nightmare.
If you're in love and when you see that his 'morning glory' is in full bloom. Take advantage of it. He's sleeping. Take it and place it inside you. If you weren't sure that he was having a wet dream, he'll be having one then. From a male stand point I'll tell you that you would be giving him a gift if you did that. Guys are horny at the moment they wake up because of this really hard erection. It gets that way because of the blood circulation as explained earlier and it activates the mind sexually as well because the penis endings makes that sensation flow to the brain. Their minds start to think of lustful thoughts because of the erection and if you're there they won't hesitate to get into action. If you get on top of him just be gentle as his bladder is still full so discomfort will be the feeling rather then pleasure.
Ladies, there's nothing to be shy about. I even heard that women have some sort of tingaling sensation in the mornings at their clitoris. This is not clear to me and only the females can confirm this. I got the morning news sent to you here about men and that's all I'm qualified to talk about. Just in case there's some of you out there that don't see your man having the 'morning glory' or any erection at all, guess what? He's probably got what we call penis erectile dysfunction. Sorry to say that this may not just be medical or physical but is sometimes psychological in nature that makes this come(or not cum)about. Seek medical advice.
If you want to have a happy sex life. Don't meddle with what's happening in his head when he's sleeping but rather take the head of his 'morning glory' to meddle with to wake him up. Trust me, if you want to have some of the best sex in your life than these are the things to consider and work on. He'll also be continously turned on and the two of you won't stop finding new ways to please each other.
Bar advice. The saying goes "make hay while the sun shines" and if you find a 'morning glory', all the better to start the day.
Touching someone
Last Saturday Kat messaged me on my cell phone because she thought I was not opening the bar. Actually I opened late a little and she came up to see me. I was setting up the tables when she arrived. She sat there and started smoking. Just as I turned to ask her a question she lit another cigarette using the end of the first one before stubbing it out.
She must have missed smoking for a week and the fact that she would be going to her salsa classes probably made her smoke more. Where she sat had only two chairs. She sat on one and placed her bag on the other. When I joined her she was going to move the bag but I told her that I'd get another chair. The reason was that I could sit nearer and next to her. She smiled as I sat next to her. It was obvious that she knew that I knew that she knew what I was doing. It's called making a 'move'.
Even for someone like my self, touching someone is hard sometimes. The whole animal instinct of guys starts to emerge and women sense the tension that both people have. Don't get me wrong, we haven't done anything but, I do think that we like each other and we are comfortable chatting about anything. Touching just adds to the comfort zone. What's wrong with it? Absolutely nothing. I still got to remember that she's my customer although now a friend as well.
I sat next to her for sometime admiring her figure and of course her 'hot ass' as I called it because she sometimes wear these body hugging outfits for classes and being tight, every detail is revealed. So shoot me. After all I'm a guy. We sometimes ogle at the beautiful form of women. What's wrong with that. She knows she has it and women have to flaunt it proudly especially when gravity hasn't applied it's force on the form as yet.
She needed a lighter to smoke some more and so I got it but I put my arm around her and lit it. The fact that she didn't mind made me feel at ease. If she had said something or told me she was uncomfortable with it then we would have an invisible wall of stress between us from that point onwards. Luckily, that was not the case. I did, however, stop sitting next to her and I even told her that I felt too tempted to do something so I was taking away the seat next to her. I guess it was better not to move too fast as well.
We continued our conversation about her living on her own and her balcony space that she has. Also about the room mates that lives with her. Students from China so conversations are pretty much non existent except when she needs a condom in the middle of the night and had to ask one of them there. She said that when she asked for the condom the guy didn't understand her. Thoughts of getting his penis out and demonstrating the procedure of putting it on went through her mind but she suddenly remembered to say the words, "Sex", to him which brought the latex product out of the drawer. If a girl came up to me and said those word in the middle of the night, irregardless of what language we spoke, I would have had my clothes off in two seconds. What was that guy thinking?
Now I remember. She said he may be gay. Well, his loss. Now all I got to do is figure out who the condom was for. Actually, our conversations are rugged, mature and open to everything. So far.
I really do enjoy my meetings with her and although it's for brief periods, she never fails to put a smile on my face. Great gal but I feel she still searching for something in life that even she can't understand or see in herself as yet. It seems that we both need this little interlude of meetings to stray to some adolescent contact to cut out the world for a while. I hope that she thinks like this as well and touching will just have to slowly take it course.
Bar advice. Some moves should never be done too quickly. Take time to feel relaxed and comfortable with the other. Touching the others mind and heart comes first. It will happen when it happens.
She must have missed smoking for a week and the fact that she would be going to her salsa classes probably made her smoke more. Where she sat had only two chairs. She sat on one and placed her bag on the other. When I joined her she was going to move the bag but I told her that I'd get another chair. The reason was that I could sit nearer and next to her. She smiled as I sat next to her. It was obvious that she knew that I knew that she knew what I was doing. It's called making a 'move'.
Even for someone like my self, touching someone is hard sometimes. The whole animal instinct of guys starts to emerge and women sense the tension that both people have. Don't get me wrong, we haven't done anything but, I do think that we like each other and we are comfortable chatting about anything. Touching just adds to the comfort zone. What's wrong with it? Absolutely nothing. I still got to remember that she's my customer although now a friend as well.
I sat next to her for sometime admiring her figure and of course her 'hot ass' as I called it because she sometimes wear these body hugging outfits for classes and being tight, every detail is revealed. So shoot me. After all I'm a guy. We sometimes ogle at the beautiful form of women. What's wrong with that. She knows she has it and women have to flaunt it proudly especially when gravity hasn't applied it's force on the form as yet.
She needed a lighter to smoke some more and so I got it but I put my arm around her and lit it. The fact that she didn't mind made me feel at ease. If she had said something or told me she was uncomfortable with it then we would have an invisible wall of stress between us from that point onwards. Luckily, that was not the case. I did, however, stop sitting next to her and I even told her that I felt too tempted to do something so I was taking away the seat next to her. I guess it was better not to move too fast as well.
We continued our conversation about her living on her own and her balcony space that she has. Also about the room mates that lives with her. Students from China so conversations are pretty much non existent except when she needs a condom in the middle of the night and had to ask one of them there. She said that when she asked for the condom the guy didn't understand her. Thoughts of getting his penis out and demonstrating the procedure of putting it on went through her mind but she suddenly remembered to say the words, "Sex", to him which brought the latex product out of the drawer. If a girl came up to me and said those word in the middle of the night, irregardless of what language we spoke, I would have had my clothes off in two seconds. What was that guy thinking?
Now I remember. She said he may be gay. Well, his loss. Now all I got to do is figure out who the condom was for. Actually, our conversations are rugged, mature and open to everything. So far.
I really do enjoy my meetings with her and although it's for brief periods, she never fails to put a smile on my face. Great gal but I feel she still searching for something in life that even she can't understand or see in herself as yet. It seems that we both need this little interlude of meetings to stray to some adolescent contact to cut out the world for a while. I hope that she thinks like this as well and touching will just have to slowly take it course.
Bar advice. Some moves should never be done too quickly. Take time to feel relaxed and comfortable with the other. Touching the others mind and heart comes first. It will happen when it happens.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Times of frustration
Last Wednesday Kat dropped by and when I got her a ash tray she said she wasn't going to smoke because she had a cough for the whole week. She didn't come by on the previous Saturday and she said it was because she wasn't well.
Then I asked what she did with her time and she basically spelt out that she was in bed, didn't feel good and lots of people calling her and bugging the heck out of her. She said friends were calling her to go out for a meal, for a date, for drinks and so on but she was not in the mood and all these people were frustrating her.
It seems that when we are ill every little thing becomes a problem or a frustration to the point that we isolate ourselves away and not want to talk or do anything or even see anyone till we're back in circulation. If you're a smoker, the tendency to get frustrated becomes stronger because irritation to the throat gets worse but smokers need their 'fix' so to speak. Tempers can also rise when you get some moron calling you up and starts wining about their insecurities or people wanting to meet up but they don't have a clue that all you want to do is hibernate till hell freezes over then emerge from sleep, well and ready to face the world again.
All said and done, she was feeling better and had a nice brave smile on her face in spite the fact that she was still a little weak. I was watching her from the top of the bar and only noticed her because I was actually checking out a beauty in a red dress that passed her on the street. She said she knew I was looking at her and commented about the way she was moving her hips and ass a little more than usual because she was with a guy. I guess it's a girl thing to notice this sort of stuff.
She had to go for her classes and picked up her bag and started walking off. I asked her to move her ass a little like the girl in the red dress and got a quick "No" to it. I asked one more time. She then jokingly said "don't frustrate me" and walked down the stairs.
This hot prawn is really fun and I'll write about Saturdays incident later.
Bar advice. If someone can still be in the mood to come see you even if they're not fully recovered form being ill, must be a special person. What sort of person are you?
Then I asked what she did with her time and she basically spelt out that she was in bed, didn't feel good and lots of people calling her and bugging the heck out of her. She said friends were calling her to go out for a meal, for a date, for drinks and so on but she was not in the mood and all these people were frustrating her.
It seems that when we are ill every little thing becomes a problem or a frustration to the point that we isolate ourselves away and not want to talk or do anything or even see anyone till we're back in circulation. If you're a smoker, the tendency to get frustrated becomes stronger because irritation to the throat gets worse but smokers need their 'fix' so to speak. Tempers can also rise when you get some moron calling you up and starts wining about their insecurities or people wanting to meet up but they don't have a clue that all you want to do is hibernate till hell freezes over then emerge from sleep, well and ready to face the world again.
All said and done, she was feeling better and had a nice brave smile on her face in spite the fact that she was still a little weak. I was watching her from the top of the bar and only noticed her because I was actually checking out a beauty in a red dress that passed her on the street. She said she knew I was looking at her and commented about the way she was moving her hips and ass a little more than usual because she was with a guy. I guess it's a girl thing to notice this sort of stuff.
She had to go for her classes and picked up her bag and started walking off. I asked her to move her ass a little like the girl in the red dress and got a quick "No" to it. I asked one more time. She then jokingly said "don't frustrate me" and walked down the stairs.
This hot prawn is really fun and I'll write about Saturdays incident later.
Bar advice. If someone can still be in the mood to come see you even if they're not fully recovered form being ill, must be a special person. What sort of person are you?
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