Being unsure

Recently I had this girl, Mindy(not real name), come to the bar. She works nearby in a restaurant at the same area. She's been to the bar several times already. Firstly coming with a colleague but now with a new boyfriend.

As we got to talking about different things, she looked troubled so I queried her as to what was wrong. It turned out to be a little bit of a relationship issue. It wasn't so much of things going bad but she added that it was partly due to her own character flaws that added fuel to the fire. I recently checked her Pig/Capricorn zodiac signs and found this about her.

This mix creates a being of infinite talent and aspirations to match. The sky is the limit. Capricorn/Pigs never see themselves as less than monstrously famous and hugely wealthy. These folks are grandeur specialists, whose personal goals of cosmic proportions don't stand in the way of their equally epic egos. There is, in the Capricorn/Pig makeup, a certain refreshing purity of desire. No Capricorn/Pig ever underestimates him or herself. Some claim that such a clearheaded attitude toward blatant self-seeking ambition is healthy. This person undertakes vast artistic projects and gives generously to cultural institutions. The Capricorn/Pig is a faithful and passionate lover. But he or she is also a smothering one. Possessive is a mild word to describe how they cling to the object of their desire. Scenes. Rows. Rages. Fits. They don't get angry often, but when they do, run for your life.

Looking at this tells me that it may be a problem of wanting to be with the person so much and clinging on that the partner feels there's no room to breath. What's the normal reaction of someone drowning and trying to get to the surface for air? After the feeling of relief from the fresh air, they want to get the hell out of the water as quick as possible. The trouble free feeling sets in and they're glad that it's all over. The fact that she may from time to time have a row or be angry with the other and often in public, can be a real put off for anyone.

As the conversation deepen we went into the topic about her sex life, which she initially did not want to comment, and asked if they were doing anything. She laughed and told me no. Just some kissing, touching and petting. She did not want to awnser me when I asked if she was still a virgin. Telling me that it was personal. That may be true but I found that she seemed very naive and at times could be gullible to things that people tell her or to things that she doesn't know about. When I first met her she was wearing braces and at the age of twenty five seem to make her look like a kid. Now with this new guy, the braces are off and she's doing herself up more that shows her feminine side even more.

I look at it as a girl evolving into a woman. Not quite there yet. She is petite but pretty. Looking for love. Wanting to have carear, a man, parents approval, good friends, money, security, joy, fulfillment and so on. Basically he world. Who doesn't? The thing is we must not be naive to the world around us or be gullible when people tell us things because we are not exposed enough. Nobody wants to be alone. If you're willing to settle for less than what you deserve then accept all the flaws that you have and the person you're with. If you want more of everything then be willing to accept that your partner is not perfect. You can't always get what you want and the world doesn't work the way that we all want. In short, we're only human.

I hope that she comes around to see me again. I really do like her. I want to help her and in fact told her to read this blog to get some insights about relationships or source out the info elsewhere. I look at this young, petite, pretty and sweet girl and think that any guy would be lucky to have her, yet, she may end up being her worse enemy by not being able to change and adapt herself to others, surroundings, and her relationships.

Bar advice. Some people need others to tell them things about themselves that they don't see about themselves. Seeing you own shortcomings or discussing them can be intimidating but being open to help from friends improves things.