Sunday, April 15, 2007
Their eyes were watching God
Oprah Winfrey Presents THEIR EYES WERE WATCHING GOD, the story of a remarkable and resilient woman's quest for love and fulfillment based on the best-selling book by Zora Neale Hurston. Academy Award(R) winner Halle Berry (Best Actress 2003, MONSTERS BALL) stars as the beautiful Janie Crawford, who embarks on an emotional and dramatic journey of self-discovery.
Refusing to compromise in spite of society's expectations, Janie endures two stifling marriages until finally finding love in a passionate romance with a much younger man. In one of the greatest, most lyrical love stories ever written, Janie experiences all that life has to offer, from unbelievable triumph to unspeakable heartbreak. Be inspired again and again by this timeless story of passion, romance, and the spirit of true love.
Bar advice. This is also a good book to get. It was 10 years in the making and now is finally out as a movie. Great for romance.
How to attract the person of your dreams?
In my quest to find the perfect mate, I often ended up dating or
attracting people who were completely wrong for me. It was only when I
realized a simple truth that my entire concept of relationships
changed.
Practitioners of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) have a rule that
states: The meaning of your communication is the response that you get.
That means the response you elicit from a person depends entirely on
how you communicate your ideas to them. If you communicate in a way
that gets you the response you desired, you were successful. If not,
you need to learn what was missing in your communication and how to
incorporate that the next time you try. Notice how this rule places the of getting a response on YOU, not
on the other person.
If you extrapolate this to relationships, you could say, "The kind of
person you attract depends on the kind of person you are." Our
relationships, and the people we attract into our lives, are just a
reflection of who we are, at that point in our lives.
We often talk about men or women being "emotionally unavailable" or
unwilling to commit to a better relationship. But the kind of people we
attract into our lives often tend to be people who mirror our
personality or the issues we are dealing with, in some way.
If, deep down, you have a fear of commitment or of "losing your
freedom", then you're going to attract a mate with the same issues. If
you have no self-love or low self-esteem, you'll end up attracting
people with the same problems. The reason why we see patterns in our lives, why we get into abusive or unfulfilling relationships, is because we've not dealt with the issues that were responsible for creating our own beliefs and personalities.
The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. If you think positive thoughts, you'll attract good things to you. If you respect people and do good by them, you'll elicit the same response from them.If you want to attract a person with all the qualities you want in a mate, then you must develop those qualities in yourself.Want your mate to be more loving, giving and kind? Then become more
loving, giving and kind. Want your mate to be health-conscious? Start taking charge of your own health and fitness.Want your mate to have a good sense of humour? Take the time and effort to develop your own sense of humour.Want your mate to be financially secure? Get your own finances in order. Want your mate to be emotionally available? Commit to sharing more of yourself first.
If you've been attracting the wrong kind of people into your life, take
a good look at the person in the mirror. Get to know yourself better.
You'll find the answers are all inside you.
Bar advice. If you want a better relationship, you must become a better person. To
attract the mate of your dreams, you must become the person you want to
attract.Don't expect people to be what you want then to be unless you're going to do it too.
attracting people who were completely wrong for me. It was only when I
realized a simple truth that my entire concept of relationships
changed.
Practitioners of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) have a rule that
states: The meaning of your communication is the response that you get.
That means the response you elicit from a person depends entirely on
how you communicate your ideas to them. If you communicate in a way
that gets you the response you desired, you were successful. If not,
you need to learn what was missing in your communication and how to
incorporate that the next time you try. Notice how this rule places the of getting a response on YOU, not
on the other person.
If you extrapolate this to relationships, you could say, "The kind of
person you attract depends on the kind of person you are." Our
relationships, and the people we attract into our lives, are just a
reflection of who we are, at that point in our lives.
We often talk about men or women being "emotionally unavailable" or
unwilling to commit to a better relationship. But the kind of people we
attract into our lives often tend to be people who mirror our
personality or the issues we are dealing with, in some way.
If, deep down, you have a fear of commitment or of "losing your
freedom", then you're going to attract a mate with the same issues. If
you have no self-love or low self-esteem, you'll end up attracting
people with the same problems. The reason why we see patterns in our lives, why we get into abusive or unfulfilling relationships, is because we've not dealt with the issues that were responsible for creating our own beliefs and personalities.
The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. If you think positive thoughts, you'll attract good things to you. If you respect people and do good by them, you'll elicit the same response from them.If you want to attract a person with all the qualities you want in a mate, then you must develop those qualities in yourself.Want your mate to be more loving, giving and kind? Then become more
loving, giving and kind. Want your mate to be health-conscious? Start taking charge of your own health and fitness.Want your mate to have a good sense of humour? Take the time and effort to develop your own sense of humour.Want your mate to be financially secure? Get your own finances in order. Want your mate to be emotionally available? Commit to sharing more of yourself first.
If you've been attracting the wrong kind of people into your life, take
a good look at the person in the mirror. Get to know yourself better.
You'll find the answers are all inside you.
Bar advice. If you want a better relationship, you must become a better person. To
attract the mate of your dreams, you must become the person you want to
attract.Don't expect people to be what you want then to be unless you're going to do it too.
Asking a guy out
In this day and age it's not wrong to ask a guy out. We do things in a modern way now like splitting the check so girls should be able to ask guys out. Are you guilty of taking a passenger seat in your personal life? Move over! We hear time and again that the burden of posing the question is a responsibility most men don't relish. Let's face it, if you wait for him, it might not happen!
It's time to be the open and confident woman you are. Forget subtlety, your best hints will only slip under his radar. Shy types, don't fear, you don't have to be super forward either. The key is to be clear, but casual. Look for an opening, and if you don't see one, make one!
The Payback
If a man you've been eying goes out of his way for you, seize the moment as the golden opportunity it is. He picks up the tab for coffee. Offer to return the favor sometime. He gives you a ride, offers helpful advice and introduces you to a professional contact? Then you totally owe him lunch (or dinner!) for that. Offering to "pay him back" is a playful and relatively safe way to say you appreciate his efforts and would like to see more of him. You'll be surprised.
The Mission
Should a local attraction or place come up in conversation (or you make sure it does), make a mission of discovering it together. It works for restaurants and martini bars as well as museums and theme parks, and it doesn't take much. At the mention of somewhere interesting, casually suggest, "We should go sometime." Unless he's completely dense, he'll pick up the cue. If you want to be a bit bolder, seal the deal yourself with a sly "Wanna check that out with me next week?" Make an offer that is clear and immediate and you're likely to get the same in return. Keep working along those lines for all other things as well.
The Premiere
Bring up the movies (hopefully there's something out you both want to see). Then give him an opening. "We should go see it this week." If you feel more comfortable with a cover, add that your friends aren't really into the flick or have already seen it. This one's great because you've given him a wide open invitation. He knows the way is safe, and still has the chance to do the aggressive guy thing. Sometimes it's good to make it seem like it's his idea. He'll feel good about himself and your night will be great.
The Tip
It's never a bad idea to tap his mind, just try to make it an honest question. Are you looking for a good cyber cafe near the office? Something to do after work? Looking for a new bar to hang out at? He just might have some insights (and be interested in keeping you company).
If you know anything about him, ask a question in the realm of his expertise. If he works in computers, you might get his help on a technical question or ask for advice on a reasonable upgrade. If he's an artsy type, stick to the arts. Maybe you're not in on the scene and are looking for a good art opening. With luck, he'll be happy to take a look at your Mac or escort you to the event. At the very least, you'll get a decent tip and owe him dinner for the trouble.
Bar advice. Try to get more info about him. Draw on what info you can gather on him and use it to your advantage. Guys like it when girls are knowledgeable about things that interest them. It gives them a window of conversation because some guys just don't know what to say to a woman. Trust me, if you make it easy for them it becomes easy for you.
It's time to be the open and confident woman you are. Forget subtlety, your best hints will only slip under his radar. Shy types, don't fear, you don't have to be super forward either. The key is to be clear, but casual. Look for an opening, and if you don't see one, make one!
The Payback
If a man you've been eying goes out of his way for you, seize the moment as the golden opportunity it is. He picks up the tab for coffee. Offer to return the favor sometime. He gives you a ride, offers helpful advice and introduces you to a professional contact? Then you totally owe him lunch (or dinner!) for that. Offering to "pay him back" is a playful and relatively safe way to say you appreciate his efforts and would like to see more of him. You'll be surprised.
The Mission
Should a local attraction or place come up in conversation (or you make sure it does), make a mission of discovering it together. It works for restaurants and martini bars as well as museums and theme parks, and it doesn't take much. At the mention of somewhere interesting, casually suggest, "We should go sometime." Unless he's completely dense, he'll pick up the cue. If you want to be a bit bolder, seal the deal yourself with a sly "Wanna check that out with me next week?" Make an offer that is clear and immediate and you're likely to get the same in return. Keep working along those lines for all other things as well.
The Premiere
Bring up the movies (hopefully there's something out you both want to see). Then give him an opening. "We should go see it this week." If you feel more comfortable with a cover, add that your friends aren't really into the flick or have already seen it. This one's great because you've given him a wide open invitation. He knows the way is safe, and still has the chance to do the aggressive guy thing. Sometimes it's good to make it seem like it's his idea. He'll feel good about himself and your night will be great.
The Tip
It's never a bad idea to tap his mind, just try to make it an honest question. Are you looking for a good cyber cafe near the office? Something to do after work? Looking for a new bar to hang out at? He just might have some insights (and be interested in keeping you company).
If you know anything about him, ask a question in the realm of his expertise. If he works in computers, you might get his help on a technical question or ask for advice on a reasonable upgrade. If he's an artsy type, stick to the arts. Maybe you're not in on the scene and are looking for a good art opening. With luck, he'll be happy to take a look at your Mac or escort you to the event. At the very least, you'll get a decent tip and owe him dinner for the trouble.
Bar advice. Try to get more info about him. Draw on what info you can gather on him and use it to your advantage. Guys like it when girls are knowledgeable about things that interest them. It gives them a window of conversation because some guys just don't know what to say to a woman. Trust me, if you make it easy for them it becomes easy for you.
Chasing Bars
Bar Advice. Thought I would start off to today with a little humour about 3 Doors Down song "Chasing cars" that was humourously changed to "Chasing Bars".The you tube video is silly and funny but a lot of us have done this at one time or another. Well maybe some of us.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Career and relationships
While you’re soaring with the eagles at work, things are about as low as they can get on the home front. This is a quandary many people before you have had, but within the situation is an opportunity to evaluate life.
Often it takes a relationship breakdown of divorce proportions to force us to stop and take stock of the meaning and direction of our life.
We also know that “love” is one of the pillars of our life. We also know it’s not logical to be working as hard and as long as we do, creating all the money and success imaginable only to end up alone and unable to share all the fruits with the one you love the most.
What the successful career, rocky relationship situation provides you with though is an opportunity to evaluate. Let me explain.
Life is about purpose. You, within your life purpose, above everything else, are striving for happiness and in order to help you evaluate your situation I have a few questions for you that takes you right to the heart of the matter.
Are you happy “with you” in your relationship?
Are you happy with your partner in the relationship?
Do you still want the relationship?
Are you still in love today with that person?
Can the relationship be salvaged? If so, how?
Are you using work to hide from something at home? Children; in-laws; step-children, the pain of a family death; something your partner said to you months ago that hurt and you never let go of it?
Are there pressures at home that could be worked out with a different strategy i.e. outside help, like coaching or counseling?
Do you love your work more than your partner?
Do you change into a different person that you don’t like when you cross the threshold, or when you turn into the street?
Many situations can be worked out if you want to work them out. In the short term talking or working together can work, but you must be careful that you don’t just stick a plaster over what appeared to be a small wound only for it to reopen again later.
One of the ways to avoid this is to strip down your life in order to rediscover your self. Doing this will make you happy, not just for an hour or a day, but for life. The truth will set you free.
People who have been in successful careers, rocky relationships are using this situation to reevaluate their meaning and direction in life. They’re doing it and finding they’re now mastering more than just the career pillar, but the relationship one too.They are growing into stronger, fitter, happier people. Do you want to join them?
Bar advice. Work on the relationship. If you've been in it a long time, stop and think for a moment. Lots of relationships go up and down. Seek help if you have to but don't let the ship sink if there's something you can do to keep it afloat.
Often it takes a relationship breakdown of divorce proportions to force us to stop and take stock of the meaning and direction of our life.
We also know that “love” is one of the pillars of our life. We also know it’s not logical to be working as hard and as long as we do, creating all the money and success imaginable only to end up alone and unable to share all the fruits with the one you love the most.
What the successful career, rocky relationship situation provides you with though is an opportunity to evaluate. Let me explain.
Life is about purpose. You, within your life purpose, above everything else, are striving for happiness and in order to help you evaluate your situation I have a few questions for you that takes you right to the heart of the matter.
Are you happy “with you” in your relationship?
Are you happy with your partner in the relationship?
Do you still want the relationship?
Are you still in love today with that person?
Can the relationship be salvaged? If so, how?
Are you using work to hide from something at home? Children; in-laws; step-children, the pain of a family death; something your partner said to you months ago that hurt and you never let go of it?
Are there pressures at home that could be worked out with a different strategy i.e. outside help, like coaching or counseling?
Do you love your work more than your partner?
Do you change into a different person that you don’t like when you cross the threshold, or when you turn into the street?
Many situations can be worked out if you want to work them out. In the short term talking or working together can work, but you must be careful that you don’t just stick a plaster over what appeared to be a small wound only for it to reopen again later.
One of the ways to avoid this is to strip down your life in order to rediscover your self. Doing this will make you happy, not just for an hour or a day, but for life. The truth will set you free.
People who have been in successful careers, rocky relationships are using this situation to reevaluate their meaning and direction in life. They’re doing it and finding they’re now mastering more than just the career pillar, but the relationship one too.They are growing into stronger, fitter, happier people. Do you want to join them?
Bar advice. Work on the relationship. If you've been in it a long time, stop and think for a moment. Lots of relationships go up and down. Seek help if you have to but don't let the ship sink if there's something you can do to keep it afloat.
ChickMagnet 101
Bar advice. This is a really good way to get some knowledge of what's going on with flirting by women. Guys can listen and learn secrets easily.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Flirting 101& How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace
Flirting 101
This is an insightful read for those who want to learn how to flirt, how to charm people, and/or how to read people better. The book is a quick and enjoyable read. It goes into how to charm all different types of people and mentions the differences (visual, auditory, etc.) and how to recognize these and still charm them. It has some good examples on how to make good impressions on people just by simple little acts like asking questions rather than talking about yourself, or when making a point touch their elbow for a strong effect. So far I've put quite a few of the practical tips to use and have gotten excellent results.
How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace
Guys, especially, can learn a lot from this book. It's full of helpful hints for those of us who are shy or not naturally outgoing, and it provides some insight into the female value system - so often such a mystery to men. Well worth the read.
Bar advice. I recommend this for a fun read that can be insightful, even to a seasoned flirter. There's lot's of help out there for people and lot's of hope as well.
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