When you assume radical personal responsibility, you live in a truth that proclaims:
I am responsible for how I allow others to affect me.In a world of forces beyond my control, I can learn to be the keeper of my own heart and mind.
Even when things appear not to be going my way, and I am upon an emotional sea of crossing and diverging currents, I can still navigate my way to my ultimate good fortune.I proclaim that I am not a victim of the world I see. I am a co-creator of it. Let love and wisdom be my moral compass, and let clarity be the wind in my sails.
New peace, harmony, and power fill your relationships when you practice radical personal responsibility. Through it, you enter a more refined sphere of relating that enhances your life and accelerates the realization of your ultimate spiritual self. Practicing radical personal responsibility forever changes the way you approach and resolve conflict.
Jealousy and other emotions like it can appear to be happening to us or to be inflicted on us by others. But to address the root cause of any upset, you must learn to observe the internal factors that shape your own perceptions and reactions. We call this ability to observe yourself and realize your power to alter these perceptions and reactions Radical Personal Responsibility.
We call it radical because it is such a departure from what is commonly thought of as responsibility, which can mean laying blame. Instead, it is insight into the deeper workings of your mind that illuminates how you have contributed to any challenging situation before you.
When you take personal responsibility, what are you taking responsibility for? You are taking responsibility for your own consciousness and the effects that it creates. The thoughts, beliefs, feelings, attitudes, impressions, perceptions, and interpretations, all of which you hold in your consciousness, can be a matter of choice.
If you are like most people, you are unaware of all the moments of choosing that go into your beliefs and your interpretations. You probably haven't noticed you are making choices all the time, choices that determine the possibilities that will be open or closed to you in your future.
If it feels as if your beliefs just show up fully developed and you have nothing to do with how they came to be a part of you, it is because you have not developed the ability to observe your own mind. The CURE (Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise) will help you.
Most of your beliefs were probably “absorbed” from your family when you were younger. The rest of them were absorbed from the community you grew up in and from the culture at large. The process of absorbing them was invisible to you, so you didn't notice you were doing it. It happened silently, in the background of your life. The process of absorbing your beliefs was invisible to you.
Regaining that awareness and accepting personal responsibility is an acquired skill. If it wasn't demonstrated for you when you were growing up, or you haven't intentionally studied it, chances are you haven't a clue about how to do it.
A start is to recognize what personal responsibility is not. In the absence of personal responsibility, all you can do is blame others for your difficulties because it looks to you as if they are to blame. This forever dooms you to a “victim” mentality that separates you from your personal power and spiritual and relational maturity. The CURE will teach you, step by step, to approach life’s hurdles in a different way that both enlightens and empowers you.
Once you learn to practice radical personal responsibility, you will find a source of inner strength and power that no one can ever take away from you. Because of your ability to take authentic, empowered responsibility, you will find that, in time, upsets become less frequent, of shorter duration, and less intense. This means you have more time and energy to focus on living the kind of life and sharing the kind of relationships you truly want and deserve.
Bar advice. While you are thinking with the situation of Valentines, you got to remember the responsibilities of actions that may happen that night. Also, what happens after in terms of work, business, family, yourself, etc. Why I say all this? Well, the things we do on Valetine's day may add or subtract to our daily lives. think about it responsibly.
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
Relationship troubles
Remember when you thought you met the mate of your dreams? You couldn't stop thinking about her/him. The sun shone more brightly. Love songs on the radio seemed like they were written just for the two of you. You loved doing things to please this person. You would sit around for hours talking about anything and laughing about the same things. Maybe at times it seemed like you knew exactly what they were thinking; you were totally in sync. Everything seemed to fit so perfectly.
But after a while the honeymoon stage seems to wear off. You might wake up one day and think, is this all there is? Have we grown apart or become different people? Maybe you have wondered if you're even in love anymore of if your mate still loves you. Maybe you have found that you have many conflicting ideas about the important things, like finances, child rearing, sex, careers and the list could go on and on.
We get so busy with our jobs, families, paying bills and all of the mundane activities of every day life. Maybe you find out the two of you were not as in sync as you might have thought. Over fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. What may have seemed like small potatoes when you first got together could have a way of becoming catastrophic and what seems to be unbearable later on.
Relationships can be very trying misunderstandings, hurt feelings, betrayal, and loneliness are things that should not be swept under the rug. It's so easy for people to say, you need to communicate with your mate. Who doesn't know that? The problem for many is, how? How do you mend all the broken fences? How do you express what's really going on inside of you? How do you get your mate to open up and share his or her feelings with you?
Bar advice.Before you throw in the towel, there are some things you should know. There are ways to learn to communicate and handle situations effectively. You may be amazed at the difference it can make in a relationship when issues are approached the right way. If you already have a great relationship, there are ways it can even be better! Remember there is a lot of ways of getting help. through books,ebooks, Internet,even doctors and counsellors. Just reading this blog may have help you already.
But after a while the honeymoon stage seems to wear off. You might wake up one day and think, is this all there is? Have we grown apart or become different people? Maybe you have wondered if you're even in love anymore of if your mate still loves you. Maybe you have found that you have many conflicting ideas about the important things, like finances, child rearing, sex, careers and the list could go on and on.
We get so busy with our jobs, families, paying bills and all of the mundane activities of every day life. Maybe you find out the two of you were not as in sync as you might have thought. Over fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. What may have seemed like small potatoes when you first got together could have a way of becoming catastrophic and what seems to be unbearable later on.
Relationships can be very trying misunderstandings, hurt feelings, betrayal, and loneliness are things that should not be swept under the rug. It's so easy for people to say, you need to communicate with your mate. Who doesn't know that? The problem for many is, how? How do you mend all the broken fences? How do you express what's really going on inside of you? How do you get your mate to open up and share his or her feelings with you?
Bar advice.Before you throw in the towel, there are some things you should know. There are ways to learn to communicate and handle situations effectively. You may be amazed at the difference it can make in a relationship when issues are approached the right way. If you already have a great relationship, there are ways it can even be better! Remember there is a lot of ways of getting help. through books,ebooks, Internet,even doctors and counsellors. Just reading this blog may have help you already.
Break ups
So you’ve just gone through a devastating break-up. My heart goes out to you. There is nothing quite as painful as being dumped by someone you thought was it. I know you’re probably feeling like your heart has been ripped out and stomped on and that your hopes and dreams have been shattered. Do what you have to do (within reason, of course) to grieve this loss. Cry, get angry, punch your pillow, throw darts at your ex’s picture.Whatever it takes.
One thing you should not do, however, is visit, phone, email, or text you ex. You should have no contact whatsoever. Accept the fact that it is over and make a clean break. Keep your dignity intact. Trust me on this. In the long run you’ll be glad you did.
Thoughts of revenge may be going though your head, but please, don’t act on them. Don’t spread rumours, don’t betray old secrets, and don’t date or make out with his/her best friend to get even. Never resort to behaviour that you will regret in the future. Always act with class and remember that the best revenge is for your ex to see that you are doing just fine without him/her. You’ve moved on and are happy.
Keep in mind that just because someone has broken up with you, it doesn’t mean he or she no longer cares about you. It just means he/she no longer wants a relationship with you. It’s very likely that breaking up with you was just as hard on him/her as it was on you. If you take revenge, any affection that this person feels for you could turn into hatred, and any chance you may have to re-establish a relationship (even if it’s just as friends) will be shattered.
Have a pity party if you must, but do it in private. Then get off the couch, wipe those tears, and move on. It’s wise to hold off on romantic relationships for a while. Give yourself some time to heal from this relationship. Work on rebuilding your life and rekindling old friendships you might have neglected when you were in the relationship.
Bar advice.You may not realize it yet, but a new life has just opened up for you. While right now your break-up may seem negative, it really was all for the best. You have just been given another chance to find your Mr. or Ms. Right.One last thing. You never know if the two of you may just get back together again. all you needed may have been just to take two steps back in order to move forward.
One thing you should not do, however, is visit, phone, email, or text you ex. You should have no contact whatsoever. Accept the fact that it is over and make a clean break. Keep your dignity intact. Trust me on this. In the long run you’ll be glad you did.
Thoughts of revenge may be going though your head, but please, don’t act on them. Don’t spread rumours, don’t betray old secrets, and don’t date or make out with his/her best friend to get even. Never resort to behaviour that you will regret in the future. Always act with class and remember that the best revenge is for your ex to see that you are doing just fine without him/her. You’ve moved on and are happy.
Keep in mind that just because someone has broken up with you, it doesn’t mean he or she no longer cares about you. It just means he/she no longer wants a relationship with you. It’s very likely that breaking up with you was just as hard on him/her as it was on you. If you take revenge, any affection that this person feels for you could turn into hatred, and any chance you may have to re-establish a relationship (even if it’s just as friends) will be shattered.
Have a pity party if you must, but do it in private. Then get off the couch, wipe those tears, and move on. It’s wise to hold off on romantic relationships for a while. Give yourself some time to heal from this relationship. Work on rebuilding your life and rekindling old friendships you might have neglected when you were in the relationship.
Bar advice.You may not realize it yet, but a new life has just opened up for you. While right now your break-up may seem negative, it really was all for the best. You have just been given another chance to find your Mr. or Ms. Right.One last thing. You never know if the two of you may just get back together again. all you needed may have been just to take two steps back in order to move forward.
Monday, January 29, 2007
He's just not that into you
Here's a little help from a book that has been doing well. It really hits home for women and this is for women all over the world. Take notes from it. It may just be what you need in your life to straighten your love life out.the author and this book was also shown on the Oprah Winfrey Show.
This book really isn't just for women, and it really isn't just about relationships. True, it focuses on empowering women which is a wonderful thing to realize, but it really goes beyond relationships. We are conditioned to work hard in our jobs, material possessions, etc and when love or money or other things we want don't come to us, it's easier emotionally to justify and/or make excuses as to why we're not getting what we feel we deserve when we want it. Whether it's the attention of a man (or woman) or a promotion at work, the power of this book is that it tells you in no uncertain terms that YOU are the only one who will suffer if you continue to cling to something that wasn't meant to be.
Bar advice.Who knows how many great things pass us by because we're too busy worrying about getting something or someone that just wasn't meant to be. Read it and weep, if you must, but then also be glad that if you apply what you've learned and make it your mantra, it's the last time you will cry over a love or aspiration unrealized.Hopefully.
This book really isn't just for women, and it really isn't just about relationships. True, it focuses on empowering women which is a wonderful thing to realize, but it really goes beyond relationships. We are conditioned to work hard in our jobs, material possessions, etc and when love or money or other things we want don't come to us, it's easier emotionally to justify and/or make excuses as to why we're not getting what we feel we deserve when we want it. Whether it's the attention of a man (or woman) or a promotion at work, the power of this book is that it tells you in no uncertain terms that YOU are the only one who will suffer if you continue to cling to something that wasn't meant to be.
Bar advice.Who knows how many great things pass us by because we're too busy worrying about getting something or someone that just wasn't meant to be. Read it and weep, if you must, but then also be glad that if you apply what you've learned and make it your mantra, it's the last time you will cry over a love or aspiration unrealized.Hopefully.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
A night with 3 ladies and myself
The night was a little chilly because of all the rain but it was a good day at the bar. These 3 ladies had come up because they heard the music. I wasn't sure if they were into what I was playing but as the night went on they kept ordering more drinks.
The place was a little busy so no time to chit chat but eventually as the night worn down I had to check if they need any more booze. Then they started to talk to me. Initially they commented about the song choices and how they were enjoying it. Music does bring people together even if they were younger than me.Mostly it was about the artist, old music, new music and what the people of today and yesterday were listening to and the fact that a lot of new artist do a cover version of other people's songs. It's also a nice 'ice breaker' to start a conversation.
Being the last customers, I was asked to sit and join them at their table so I got my beer. The topic soon started to change to relationships, guys, girls, expectations and lots more. Some of the things that we talk about were simple stuff but some were a little more indepth but it was really frank and open.That was great because it shows that a lot of younger people d9o think about this stuff and try to understand their partners that their with or at least are trying to.
They bombarded me with a lot of 'guy' questions. I guess after telling them that I was much older and the fact that we were all drinking, it made it easier for them to open up and ask some intense questions. I'm sure that they would have loved to ask more stuff and all avenues of what a guy wants and thinks.I'm referring to both of his heads as well. Maybe that will come up the next time. Frankly, I was checking them out. They seemed nice and interesting. Good figures and intelligent as well. What they didn't know is that I too was getting a lot of insight into the workings of the female mind and here I had three of them.
It struck me that these girls, although friends, saw and felt differently about guys. Some knew more than others and some felt differently about certain issues. Things like why a guy does this or why do guys say that? Even to bring it down to genetics. These are hard things to answer but I told them that I could only give them my perspective and analysis on what maybe going through their minds and why they do them, seeing that I'm a guy as well.
Ladies, here are some insightful tips about guys. Make them work for it. Don't put out too quickly, if you know what I mean. Just as I was sitting there I could smell the perfume, check them out as they walked back and fort from the ladies room, looking at the ass as the moved away from the table and then checking out their breast as they were coming back. What I'm getting at is that guys like to look. Even if he's married and won't go any further than that, he will still look. It's a guy thing. He may have a solid, beautiful, sexy girlfriend or wife and he'll still look. Women can't help looking at shoes when they pass a store but for guys it's cleavage. These two things causes the same effect on the different genders.It's true people. We guy's have to look. With all the naughty modern day clothing, can you blame a guy. Don't forget you girl's wear that stuff just to make us look.
Women have to play smart. Find out more details about men and then you can have a great relationship. Whenever I see two people falling out after a few years it's sad We've all gone through it and what we need is insight about each other. One little thing that women need to do is let the guy do the chasing. The male instincts go all the way back to the caveman days. That's instilled in him by nature but letting him crave you and chase you longer puts you in the driving seat. Please don't over do it or he'll stray away to someone else if you're not going to even give him a kiss. A reward like that is all it takes to fuel his fire.
An example of this caveman ways is what guys do if they are with someone and another guy comes along. It doesn't matter if he's a friend or not. Imagine 3 people in a conversation. If the lady is having a good time conversing with the other guy the first guy(that was with her) will start to lean in more. Maybe put his arm around her on on her leg or even give her a kiss on the cheek before he excuses himself to go to the toilet. Why is this so? Well the male instinct in him is telling him to show the other guy his dominance over the situation and him. It has nothing to do with her.It's a clear message to the other guy to know that the girl is with him. In the caveman days that's how it was. Territory and possessions are important to guys.
Bar advice. There are a lot of other things that can be said about the matter and everyone is different. This has been going on for so long and it isn't going to end anytime soon. One last thing to reflect on. When women are looking for guys, they want to go to that 'special place'...men just need a place.
P.S. The title suggested that it was a night of lustful sex between 3 women and a guy but it wasn't. See, it's a guy thing.
The place was a little busy so no time to chit chat but eventually as the night worn down I had to check if they need any more booze. Then they started to talk to me. Initially they commented about the song choices and how they were enjoying it. Music does bring people together even if they were younger than me.Mostly it was about the artist, old music, new music and what the people of today and yesterday were listening to and the fact that a lot of new artist do a cover version of other people's songs. It's also a nice 'ice breaker' to start a conversation.
Being the last customers, I was asked to sit and join them at their table so I got my beer. The topic soon started to change to relationships, guys, girls, expectations and lots more. Some of the things that we talk about were simple stuff but some were a little more indepth but it was really frank and open.That was great because it shows that a lot of younger people d9o think about this stuff and try to understand their partners that their with or at least are trying to.
They bombarded me with a lot of 'guy' questions. I guess after telling them that I was much older and the fact that we were all drinking, it made it easier for them to open up and ask some intense questions. I'm sure that they would have loved to ask more stuff and all avenues of what a guy wants and thinks.I'm referring to both of his heads as well. Maybe that will come up the next time. Frankly, I was checking them out. They seemed nice and interesting. Good figures and intelligent as well. What they didn't know is that I too was getting a lot of insight into the workings of the female mind and here I had three of them.
It struck me that these girls, although friends, saw and felt differently about guys. Some knew more than others and some felt differently about certain issues. Things like why a guy does this or why do guys say that? Even to bring it down to genetics. These are hard things to answer but I told them that I could only give them my perspective and analysis on what maybe going through their minds and why they do them, seeing that I'm a guy as well.
Ladies, here are some insightful tips about guys. Make them work for it. Don't put out too quickly, if you know what I mean. Just as I was sitting there I could smell the perfume, check them out as they walked back and fort from the ladies room, looking at the ass as the moved away from the table and then checking out their breast as they were coming back. What I'm getting at is that guys like to look. Even if he's married and won't go any further than that, he will still look. It's a guy thing. He may have a solid, beautiful, sexy girlfriend or wife and he'll still look. Women can't help looking at shoes when they pass a store but for guys it's cleavage. These two things causes the same effect on the different genders.It's true people. We guy's have to look. With all the naughty modern day clothing, can you blame a guy. Don't forget you girl's wear that stuff just to make us look.
Women have to play smart. Find out more details about men and then you can have a great relationship. Whenever I see two people falling out after a few years it's sad We've all gone through it and what we need is insight about each other. One little thing that women need to do is let the guy do the chasing. The male instincts go all the way back to the caveman days. That's instilled in him by nature but letting him crave you and chase you longer puts you in the driving seat. Please don't over do it or he'll stray away to someone else if you're not going to even give him a kiss. A reward like that is all it takes to fuel his fire.
An example of this caveman ways is what guys do if they are with someone and another guy comes along. It doesn't matter if he's a friend or not. Imagine 3 people in a conversation. If the lady is having a good time conversing with the other guy the first guy(that was with her) will start to lean in more. Maybe put his arm around her on on her leg or even give her a kiss on the cheek before he excuses himself to go to the toilet. Why is this so? Well the male instinct in him is telling him to show the other guy his dominance over the situation and him. It has nothing to do with her.It's a clear message to the other guy to know that the girl is with him. In the caveman days that's how it was. Territory and possessions are important to guys.
Bar advice. There are a lot of other things that can be said about the matter and everyone is different. This has been going on for so long and it isn't going to end anytime soon. One last thing to reflect on. When women are looking for guys, they want to go to that 'special place'...men just need a place.
P.S. The title suggested that it was a night of lustful sex between 3 women and a guy but it wasn't. See, it's a guy thing.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Karma Sutra
Just in fairness for both guys and girls. I know some of you don't like to read so here you can get a better idea in the form of visual experience.
Pleas don't think that this is some sort of porn movie or something. it's been around for a very long time and the western world was really the one that brought it to light. These are some very interesting methods and advance ways to please your lover.
All of Bollywood have probably read it. Possibly even Hollywood. It is actually a educational video and gives better relationships and sex appreciation of partners.If you're into the whole romantic,erotic and sexual lifestyle then this is for you.
Bar advice.If you're not ready for this then I suggest that you go for the books first and slowly cross to the DVD. This sensual art of love making is also not know to most people either so I don't expect you to be an expert overnight.
Pleas don't think that this is some sort of porn movie or something. it's been around for a very long time and the western world was really the one that brought it to light. These are some very interesting methods and advance ways to please your lover.
All of Bollywood have probably read it. Possibly even Hollywood. It is actually a educational video and gives better relationships and sex appreciation of partners.If you're into the whole romantic,erotic and sexual lifestyle then this is for you.
Bar advice.If you're not ready for this then I suggest that you go for the books first and slowly cross to the DVD. This sensual art of love making is also not know to most people either so I don't expect you to be an expert overnight.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Older women
I have recently encountered the words 'Cougar Women'.A term dreamt up by some male or possibly jealous young female to describe an older woman engaged in a relationship with a younger man. The description 'Cougar Woman' infers a predatory mature woman (35-50+) who hunts, stalks, lusts after and imposes her attentions upon some innocent, inexperienced young male.
The traditional description for the older male who does likewise is, 'Sugar Daddy'. Would it not be appropriate, in light of today's touted 'equality of the sexes' to apply the description of Panther Daddy? Who knows, if enough people around the world pick up on these descriptions then such terms might ultimately become a part of the English language.
We all know that in most cultures throughout history (even today) untold numbers of innocent, naive and inexperienced young women have being forced into unsuitable marriages. The financial, social or political benefits from such actions pass generally to males.
Today however(certainly within the western world cultures)the majority of younger male or females involved in relationships with 'Cougar Women' or 'Panther Daddies' are far from innocent, naive or inexperienced. They are educated and understand that a 'consideration' or 'benefit' forms the part of any contract. Who's to criticise such liaisons where the partners have a clear understanding and appreciation of the terms of engagement? Under the assumption that we all enjoy but one lifetime, then we should live our lives to the full but with the provision that in doing so we make every effort to avoid hurt to others.
The younger parties in such relationships can gain many benefits that they may not (perhaps due to social position) normally be able to attain in life. The older party will certainly enjoy the boost to their ego and, no doubt the sexual fun and games that will form a major feature of the relationship.
The Cougar Woman and Panther Daddy relationships are but one aspect of the 'Relationship Age Gap' equation. Statistics indicate that 'Older woman - younger man' relationships have increased substantially throughout that past sixty odd years and that great numbers of such relationships are successful and lasting based upon true and solid love connections.
Thanks to technology, health and beauty facilities of the past sixty odd years there is no reason why older woman should suffer the aging process experienced by their hard working great and great-great grand mothers.
So, this now brings me to this word 'Mature'. As I look around at the excellent physical conditions of some of the older ladies that I know, then the word mature should apply more to the 65 plus age range. I know someone that was in her 40's that was attracting younger guys even without trying.In fact she was pestered for dates by a sane, good looking 22 year-old male and although it was of much concern to her 19 year-old son, it was apparent that the lady in question was somewhat thrilled at the attention and, lets be frank about it. What woman wouldn't be?
I once read a biological article that claimed that the female sexuality peeked at the 35-40 age ranges and the male in early twenties. I would attach some credence to that claim based partly upon personal experience. Try understanding from the outset (pleasure affair, not a love affair) where the partners experience a powerful mutual instant attraction both physically and mentally, hold strong respect for each other and, perhaps above all, enjoy an unfettered ability to communicate without embarrassment, then such a relationship can develop into an exciting, pleasurable and memorable life experience for both.
Thank goodness society has changed. Today the older woman, younger man relationship would pass unnoticed. Some 40 years back however, discovery of the relationship would have resulted in the older woman being condemned and ostracized without mercy by society and, principally by her own sisterhood.Probably Hollywood had more of an influence on today's acceptance of this so it becomes something normal. Maybe the fact that not many of us see people in this situation that we don't really care either.
Bar advice.To the slightly older girls out there ignore the silly terms 'cougar' or 'mature'.If you fancy him, he fancies you and you get on well, then go for it. Doesn't matter if he's younger.You will both probably have a whale of a time both in and out of the sack? Love is blind to age as well.
The traditional description for the older male who does likewise is, 'Sugar Daddy'. Would it not be appropriate, in light of today's touted 'equality of the sexes' to apply the description of Panther Daddy? Who knows, if enough people around the world pick up on these descriptions then such terms might ultimately become a part of the English language.
We all know that in most cultures throughout history (even today) untold numbers of innocent, naive and inexperienced young women have being forced into unsuitable marriages. The financial, social or political benefits from such actions pass generally to males.
Today however(certainly within the western world cultures)the majority of younger male or females involved in relationships with 'Cougar Women' or 'Panther Daddies' are far from innocent, naive or inexperienced. They are educated and understand that a 'consideration' or 'benefit' forms the part of any contract. Who's to criticise such liaisons where the partners have a clear understanding and appreciation of the terms of engagement? Under the assumption that we all enjoy but one lifetime, then we should live our lives to the full but with the provision that in doing so we make every effort to avoid hurt to others.
The younger parties in such relationships can gain many benefits that they may not (perhaps due to social position) normally be able to attain in life. The older party will certainly enjoy the boost to their ego and, no doubt the sexual fun and games that will form a major feature of the relationship.
The Cougar Woman and Panther Daddy relationships are but one aspect of the 'Relationship Age Gap' equation. Statistics indicate that 'Older woman - younger man' relationships have increased substantially throughout that past sixty odd years and that great numbers of such relationships are successful and lasting based upon true and solid love connections.
Thanks to technology, health and beauty facilities of the past sixty odd years there is no reason why older woman should suffer the aging process experienced by their hard working great and great-great grand mothers.
So, this now brings me to this word 'Mature'. As I look around at the excellent physical conditions of some of the older ladies that I know, then the word mature should apply more to the 65 plus age range. I know someone that was in her 40's that was attracting younger guys even without trying.In fact she was pestered for dates by a sane, good looking 22 year-old male and although it was of much concern to her 19 year-old son, it was apparent that the lady in question was somewhat thrilled at the attention and, lets be frank about it. What woman wouldn't be?
I once read a biological article that claimed that the female sexuality peeked at the 35-40 age ranges and the male in early twenties. I would attach some credence to that claim based partly upon personal experience. Try understanding from the outset (pleasure affair, not a love affair) where the partners experience a powerful mutual instant attraction both physically and mentally, hold strong respect for each other and, perhaps above all, enjoy an unfettered ability to communicate without embarrassment, then such a relationship can develop into an exciting, pleasurable and memorable life experience for both.
Thank goodness society has changed. Today the older woman, younger man relationship would pass unnoticed. Some 40 years back however, discovery of the relationship would have resulted in the older woman being condemned and ostracized without mercy by society and, principally by her own sisterhood.Probably Hollywood had more of an influence on today's acceptance of this so it becomes something normal. Maybe the fact that not many of us see people in this situation that we don't really care either.
Bar advice.To the slightly older girls out there ignore the silly terms 'cougar' or 'mature'.If you fancy him, he fancies you and you get on well, then go for it. Doesn't matter if he's younger.You will both probably have a whale of a time both in and out of the sack? Love is blind to age as well.
Monday, December 18, 2006
To the left
If you have heard Beyonce's song or seen the video then you'll feel that it's just right if you're in that situation. This could go both ways. Guys and girls. The song can be seen that way.
What do you do if you get that situation going on with the person you are with? The time will come when you say enough is enough. The holiday season is current and it's not the time for quarrels and such but what do you do if things are bad in a relationship
? First thing that we think of is that we don't want to be alone. Especially this time of the year. Then we think of how we will be looked at by others when they see that you're not with the other by your side. Some may congratulate you while others may frown at you. This brings me to this story of this girl Christine who was with this guy Tom.
Tom was not as educated as her and was very jealous whenever she talked or interacted with other guys. He was also younger than her a couple of years. They were together a few years till Christine ended her job because the company closed down. She had three kids to look after and this guy was becoming more like the fourth kid that she didn't want. She confided in me about a lot of things that went on in their daily lives. From him acting like a dad to her kids, that she didn't like, their quarrels and all the way to their sex life. Even to the point of telling me that his penis was too small to satisfy her. We laughed at that together but she wasn't laughing all the time. Mostly it was tears that she showed. It seems that Tom took her in the sense like she was his wife. Trouble is, he wasn't.
It got to a point where she was frustrated with all of his faults. Asking her for money, when he knew that she had been cheated by someone recently, to getting her to foot the travel fares for them to go to Thailand for a holiday. She wasn't able to get a job for a while and he was always making things worse for her especially since she had three other mouths to feed. She had bought him clothes and jewelry before and he never did anything really nice for her. Every time he wanted her it was for his own pleasure and not her needs sexually or supporting her financially. It came to a point when she could not take it anymore. Then one day it happened.
Things just got ugly. He started accusing her of being with someone else. Not having time for him and understanding him or his problems. She got so mad that she slapped him in front of relatives and friends and took all his stuff and threw it out of the house. Day after day he kept calling and pleading her with SMS messages to come back. She actually met him once after that and it turned out to be another disaster that evening. More so it confirmed to her that it was totally over.
She's doing all right now. Got a new job and changing homes
. No guy with her as yet but she said she was going to hold off and not jump in with both feet till she was ready.
Bar advice. When I asked her what was the best thing about what happened after all that. She said that it was the sense of liberation and total freedom again that made her feel that she could soar like an eagle and she knew that things would somehow work out.
What do you do if you get that situation going on with the person you are with? The time will come when you say enough is enough. The holiday season is current and it's not the time for quarrels and such but what do you do if things are bad in a relationship
? First thing that we think of is that we don't want to be alone. Especially this time of the year. Then we think of how we will be looked at by others when they see that you're not with the other by your side. Some may congratulate you while others may frown at you. This brings me to this story of this girl Christine who was with this guy Tom.Tom was not as educated as her and was very jealous whenever she talked or interacted with other guys. He was also younger than her a couple of years. They were together a few years till Christine ended her job because the company closed down. She had three kids to look after and this guy was becoming more like the fourth kid that she didn't want. She confided in me about a lot of things that went on in their daily lives. From him acting like a dad to her kids, that she didn't like, their quarrels and all the way to their sex life. Even to the point of telling me that his penis was too small to satisfy her. We laughed at that together but she wasn't laughing all the time. Mostly it was tears that she showed. It seems that Tom took her in the sense like she was his wife. Trouble is, he wasn't.
It got to a point where she was frustrated with all of his faults. Asking her for money, when he knew that she had been cheated by someone recently, to getting her to foot the travel fares for them to go to Thailand for a holiday. She wasn't able to get a job for a while and he was always making things worse for her especially since she had three other mouths to feed. She had bought him clothes and jewelry before and he never did anything really nice for her. Every time he wanted her it was for his own pleasure and not her needs sexually or supporting her financially. It came to a point when she could not take it anymore. Then one day it happened.
Things just got ugly. He started accusing her of being with someone else. Not having time for him and understanding him or his problems. She got so mad that she slapped him in front of relatives and friends and took all his stuff and threw it out of the house. Day after day he kept calling and pleading her with SMS messages to come back. She actually met him once after that and it turned out to be another disaster that evening. More so it confirmed to her that it was totally over.
She's doing all right now. Got a new job and changing homes
. No guy with her as yet but she said she was going to hold off and not jump in with both feet till she was ready.Bar advice. When I asked her what was the best thing about what happened after all that. She said that it was the sense of liberation and total freedom again that made her feel that she could soar like an eagle and she knew that things would somehow work out.
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