You don't need to have great looks to be successful with beautiful
women at all. After all, social value comes from many sources having social proof or leading a girl's peer group for example. Good looks alone won't get you laid, if that's your only source of social value.
Still, if you're serious about maximizing your success with women, you want to fully exploit every avenue of getting social value that you can. Having good looks specifically, having a muscular, chiseled, formed body, is one of them.
For instance, I know a guy who is now in his early 40s and he regularly has girls in their early 20s. Unlike most men his age, he takes care of himself. He works out and eats right. And it shows. He looks good. In adds that he also is matured and knows how to approach and talk to women. Women don't like a man that doesn't act his age or is too much of a kid.
Visually, he is attractive to women. They look at him, and that feeds his confidence. His success keeps him working out and eating right, causing more success. It's a virtuous, reinforcing cycle. But here's the problem. Most men let their bodies go as they get older. They have no muscle mass. They grow a gut for a belly. They don't groom themselves well. They dress dumpily. In other words,
they don't take care of themselves. Why be that way? You're going to feel like you look in the mirror.
At around age 26 or 27 something happens to our bodies. Our metabolism slows down and our body stops producing new muscle mass on its own. Up until age 26 or 27, you can basically eat like a pig and not exercise and your body will still stay fit and thin to some degree. But, by the late 20s, your muscle mass begins to slowly wither away and that gut starts to appear and by age 40, most men look downright bad.
If you're really out of shape, many girls will be too embarrassed to be seen with you with their friends and family. Even if the girl is otherwise attracted to you for other reasons. It's like when a man meets a fat chick. She's sweet, nice, pretty faced, wild in bed, loving, fun personality, highly sexual, a great girl to be
with but you don't stick with her because you're embarrassed what your friends of family might think.
That's why it's so important to take care of yourself and to start right away. In many ways this is a shallow way of thinking but it's a fact in our society. People go for looks. We see it in fashion magazines, Hollywood and more. The trick is to stay in tune with who you want to be and what you can do to be in a better shape when you get older. Taking care of yourself will make for better years ahead.
Bar advice. My advice here for men also applies to lots of women as well. Not to say that you got to look like a supermodel but health and fitness can be obtained which makes for a better life.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Kino
So what is this thing called Kino? The common view of kino(note: kino = touching) is that you're giving the woman pleasure and that this arouses her and makes her attached to you
It's critically important to physically touch a woman early on in a seduction, sometimes referred to as "kino". Here's the scientific explanation of how and why it works. Then I'll explain how to use touch to reliably get laid.
Touching a woman causes her body to release a powerful sex hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin increases a woman's testosterone levels, the hormone responsible for her sex drive. Oxytocin also causes her to feel a bonding with you and to feel good around you. Even for a woman who "never feels like sex" and acts cold, a few touches can make her horny for sex. It doesn't matter where or how much you touch her, even a small touch on the arm is enough to release oxytocin hormones into her body and warm her up to you.What's more, oxytocin gives her the desire to be touched even more, producing yet even more oxytocin, a reinforcing cycle of sex hormone escalation.
One other thing. This oxytocin touch response is much more powerful for women than for men. Oxytocin requires estrogen to work. Without estrogen, it has no effect and women have much more estrogen in their bodies than men. Okay, here is how to use this powerful scientific knowledge to get laid.
First, be the kind of guy who is comfortable touching women from the moment you meet them. Be a physical kind of person. Act as if touching a woman is a normal thing you do all the time and women will accept that. If you start touching a woman all of a sudden after a few weeks, it will seem weird to her, so start from the very first time you meet her.
Begin with small touches on the hands and arms to make her oxytocin hormones kick in. As you progress, play footsies with her under table. Take her hand when you walk together (don't ask, just take it). Tell her to sit on your lap and stroke her thighs (again, don't ask just do). The more you touch her in a playful take-charge way, the more she'll want more touches and then even more. By the time you're touching her nipples through her shirt the oxytocin hormones will be raging, shooting her testosterone driven sex drive into the stratosphere.
Also, never ask a woman "Can I touch you?" It's creepy. Don't ask. Women like men of action, assuming you have some form of rapport with her. Don't suddenly spring into that sort of action because she'll say you molested her. Now here's what you do with women who consider you to be "just a friend". One woman I knew considered me "just a friend" and whatever I said to her didn't seem to work.
Knowing the scientific certainty of her oxytocin response, I began to work my spell. At first, I touched her innocently on her arms and hands. No resistance. Soon I got more playful with her and would hold her by the waist. She kept telling me she only wanted to be friends, but her body was beginning to tell me another story. I also told her how much "I liked being friends" with her. I then proceeded to playfully tickle her from time to time. All the touching made her oxytocin and testosterone levels flood her body and she was getting horny despite herself.
Pretty soon she was calling me and after we've did the "deed", her bonding feelings for me caused by the oxytocin were firmly entrenched. That's the flip side of the oxytocin response once you've got her, your only problem will be keeping her at arms length! Kino is a touchy subject and can get difficult in the end.
Bar advice. Keep your hands in your pockets if you don't want to persue the girl. Turning her on and then turning her away is not a good thing to do.
It's critically important to physically touch a woman early on in a seduction, sometimes referred to as "kino". Here's the scientific explanation of how and why it works. Then I'll explain how to use touch to reliably get laid.
Touching a woman causes her body to release a powerful sex hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin increases a woman's testosterone levels, the hormone responsible for her sex drive. Oxytocin also causes her to feel a bonding with you and to feel good around you. Even for a woman who "never feels like sex" and acts cold, a few touches can make her horny for sex. It doesn't matter where or how much you touch her, even a small touch on the arm is enough to release oxytocin hormones into her body and warm her up to you.What's more, oxytocin gives her the desire to be touched even more, producing yet even more oxytocin, a reinforcing cycle of sex hormone escalation.
One other thing. This oxytocin touch response is much more powerful for women than for men. Oxytocin requires estrogen to work. Without estrogen, it has no effect and women have much more estrogen in their bodies than men. Okay, here is how to use this powerful scientific knowledge to get laid.
First, be the kind of guy who is comfortable touching women from the moment you meet them. Be a physical kind of person. Act as if touching a woman is a normal thing you do all the time and women will accept that. If you start touching a woman all of a sudden after a few weeks, it will seem weird to her, so start from the very first time you meet her.
Begin with small touches on the hands and arms to make her oxytocin hormones kick in. As you progress, play footsies with her under table. Take her hand when you walk together (don't ask, just take it). Tell her to sit on your lap and stroke her thighs (again, don't ask just do). The more you touch her in a playful take-charge way, the more she'll want more touches and then even more. By the time you're touching her nipples through her shirt the oxytocin hormones will be raging, shooting her testosterone driven sex drive into the stratosphere.
Also, never ask a woman "Can I touch you?" It's creepy. Don't ask. Women like men of action, assuming you have some form of rapport with her. Don't suddenly spring into that sort of action because she'll say you molested her. Now here's what you do with women who consider you to be "just a friend". One woman I knew considered me "just a friend" and whatever I said to her didn't seem to work.
Knowing the scientific certainty of her oxytocin response, I began to work my spell. At first, I touched her innocently on her arms and hands. No resistance. Soon I got more playful with her and would hold her by the waist. She kept telling me she only wanted to be friends, but her body was beginning to tell me another story. I also told her how much "I liked being friends" with her. I then proceeded to playfully tickle her from time to time. All the touching made her oxytocin and testosterone levels flood her body and she was getting horny despite herself.
Pretty soon she was calling me and after we've did the "deed", her bonding feelings for me caused by the oxytocin were firmly entrenched. That's the flip side of the oxytocin response once you've got her, your only problem will be keeping her at arms length! Kino is a touchy subject and can get difficult in the end.
Bar advice. Keep your hands in your pockets if you don't want to persue the girl. Turning her on and then turning her away is not a good thing to do.
The gay issue Part 1
I haven't touched on this much. Just a little on lesbians. I'm not so it's hard to really comment on the subject. However, I've met lots of people that are and there's people that have lots of gay friends as well. Gay people find it very hard to meet up with each other as many people keep it a secret about what their sexual orientation is. This is to save themselves from harassment or prejudice. Although in this day and age they really do have nothing to worry about.
Many gay people find that the Internet is a great resource for finding gay partners. The Internet allows you to be who you want to be without prejudice so you can openly admit to being gay and not suffer any of the repercussions. A lot of Internet dating sites have hundreds of gay members and they organise what is called ‘meets’.
Meets are events that gay people can go to and find other gays. It is simply a get together for both men or women who are interested in finding either a short or long term partner. These meets make it so much easier for gay people to find someone as no one is worried what anyone thinks of them as they are all the same and looking for the same thing.
Meets are fantastic events, any company that holds them is making a great effort to show that it doesn't matter who you are you are still entitled to be with someone and not be alone, and that it should not matter what your sexual preference is. While dating sites are the most typical sites to offer this service you can find specialist websites that specialise in this sort of thing.
Gay "meets" are there for all gay men and lesbians. It is simply like a large party where no one is or should be afraid to be themselves. To find your nearest gay meet or party just simply log online to some of the better know ones. You'll be surprised at who's there.
The world still sees this as taboo. The gay men get it worse because we live in a male dominated society where the men see themselves as the bread winners and the stronger sex. The thought of sharing the same locker room with a gay man sends shivers down some of their backs. With all that male ego, strength and brute you'd think they were girls if you saw their faces. Why than do they act badly towards gay people this way?
I can't say for sure but a lot just has to do with the insecurity of themselves. The need to be normal and to be seen by others as a stand up man or woman. There is suppose to be a harmonious unity among family members but if just one is gay, it seems like the whole family is put to shame. The stigma of wrong doing is placed on that family and so this makes gay people turn to secrecy. Never having to be found out is better than exposing one's self and shaming the family. These are just some of the things that they dodge daily.
Hence, the need for the "meets" and places that set them up. It's really just a gathering of people trying to date and make themselves part of the normal routine of relationships that they see when they walk out the front door. Next time we will talk a little deeper into the subject.
Bar advice. We live in a world where nobody and I mean nobody likes to be alone. Gay people are also normal people. My advice is, yes they have to change in many ways but normal people have to as well.
Many gay people find that the Internet is a great resource for finding gay partners. The Internet allows you to be who you want to be without prejudice so you can openly admit to being gay and not suffer any of the repercussions. A lot of Internet dating sites have hundreds of gay members and they organise what is called ‘meets’.
Meets are events that gay people can go to and find other gays. It is simply a get together for both men or women who are interested in finding either a short or long term partner. These meets make it so much easier for gay people to find someone as no one is worried what anyone thinks of them as they are all the same and looking for the same thing.
Meets are fantastic events, any company that holds them is making a great effort to show that it doesn't matter who you are you are still entitled to be with someone and not be alone, and that it should not matter what your sexual preference is. While dating sites are the most typical sites to offer this service you can find specialist websites that specialise in this sort of thing.
Gay "meets" are there for all gay men and lesbians. It is simply like a large party where no one is or should be afraid to be themselves. To find your nearest gay meet or party just simply log online to some of the better know ones. You'll be surprised at who's there.
The world still sees this as taboo. The gay men get it worse because we live in a male dominated society where the men see themselves as the bread winners and the stronger sex. The thought of sharing the same locker room with a gay man sends shivers down some of their backs. With all that male ego, strength and brute you'd think they were girls if you saw their faces. Why than do they act badly towards gay people this way?
I can't say for sure but a lot just has to do with the insecurity of themselves. The need to be normal and to be seen by others as a stand up man or woman. There is suppose to be a harmonious unity among family members but if just one is gay, it seems like the whole family is put to shame. The stigma of wrong doing is placed on that family and so this makes gay people turn to secrecy. Never having to be found out is better than exposing one's self and shaming the family. These are just some of the things that they dodge daily.
Hence, the need for the "meets" and places that set them up. It's really just a gathering of people trying to date and make themselves part of the normal routine of relationships that they see when they walk out the front door. Next time we will talk a little deeper into the subject.
Bar advice. We live in a world where nobody and I mean nobody likes to be alone. Gay people are also normal people. My advice is, yes they have to change in many ways but normal people have to as well.
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Sunday, September 23, 2007
Fears we have
What are you afraid of? When you were a child, maybe it was the "monster" in the closet or under the bed, or the first day of school. As we grow up, we often acquire a whole new list of fears. Some of the more common types are fear of failure, fear of success even, fear of the unknown and fear of rejection or disapproval. These are pretty basic for all of us, to some degree or another but if you find that fear gets to the point where it keeps you from achieving your goals or limits your life, then it's a good idea to learn how to overcome your fear and turn it into action.
Actually, fear itself is a survival mechanism. It's a physical response to danger, whether real or imagined. Being alert to the possible danger around them allowed our primitive ancestors to defend or save themselves. You and I have that same survival instinct, but with the difference that it's usually not physical danger that threatens us, but the "danger" of change or uncertainty.
I've found that a key to handling fear is imagination. After all, it's usually those negative scenarios that we imagine that build our fear in the first place. So here's a way to break out of that cycle. First of all, sit down and write out exactly what it is you are afraid of happening. Often, coming face to face with the fear you have helps you distance yourself from it and react less emotionally. You can then be more objective in judging whether your fear has any basis at all.
Now, use that imagination of yours to think of the worst that could happen. Write it all down, how you would feel. Then, think of all the things you could do in this worst case scenario. What actions could you take to deal with it? Write it all down. When you have plans on how to handle a situation if it arises, then this reduces your fear of the unknown. You become more confident of your ability to handle things. You may also just notice that your fear has disappeared.
Bar advice. We all got "monsters" and "demons' that we don't want to face but you can't live life with fear as the winner.
Actually, fear itself is a survival mechanism. It's a physical response to danger, whether real or imagined. Being alert to the possible danger around them allowed our primitive ancestors to defend or save themselves. You and I have that same survival instinct, but with the difference that it's usually not physical danger that threatens us, but the "danger" of change or uncertainty.
I've found that a key to handling fear is imagination. After all, it's usually those negative scenarios that we imagine that build our fear in the first place. So here's a way to break out of that cycle. First of all, sit down and write out exactly what it is you are afraid of happening. Often, coming face to face with the fear you have helps you distance yourself from it and react less emotionally. You can then be more objective in judging whether your fear has any basis at all.
Now, use that imagination of yours to think of the worst that could happen. Write it all down, how you would feel. Then, think of all the things you could do in this worst case scenario. What actions could you take to deal with it? Write it all down. When you have plans on how to handle a situation if it arises, then this reduces your fear of the unknown. You become more confident of your ability to handle things. You may also just notice that your fear has disappeared.
Bar advice. We all got "monsters" and "demons' that we don't want to face but you can't live life with fear as the winner.
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Breaking the silence in conversation
We all may have had this happen to us once before or for some, still. You happen to see a girl or guy at and you know he or she likes you but when you finally come close and say your quick hello, the conversation dies. There's a wall of silence that some how pops up. Thoughts race in your minds like what to say next. Does that person like me? There's nothing being said he/she must think I'm a complete idiot.
Things like this happen so what can we do about it? Here are a couple of tips to keep handy. My advice is to store some knowledge about things that they show in National Geographic, Discover Channel or Lonely Planet. There's a host of subjects that you can talk about and you can keep yourself well informed about interesting subjects. Start off by asking where the person has traveled before or went on holiday. What was the culture like? Where will they like to visit next? This may lead to you discussing about making plans on going there together.
Simple one is movies. Lots of people watch them so it's a no brainer that you got lots to talk about. Find out if the person likes comedies, romance, period dramas or whatever the fancy is. Discuss your favourites. Which stars do they like? Also move to TV shows as lots of people have likes and dislikes of certain shows. If you want to talk about music that could be good as well because there's lots of entertainers to talk about. See how the conversation gets moving. As it continues it will feel more pleasant. Just remember to give the other a chance to talk so as well.
Another one you can talk about is festive days. Ask what they did last Christmas or what their New Year's resolution was. This generally leads to why they did or made the resolution at the end of that year. It normally is because they year may have been bad and they wanted to change things. Most people are glad to just purge themselves so they are willing to bring up all the stuff that they dislike and off load it to any listening person. Let them do most of the talking. you'll find that you just became their 'best friend' when you become a sympathetic listener to them.
Remember one thing as you get further into conversation. Your main interest was getting to know the person better so as conversation deepens you must also add the attraction factor into it. Underline your conversations, from time to time, with sublime suggestions. By this I mean that your main thoughts should be to add to the attraction of the person and getting him or her to be more interested in you. Where possible add suggestions about going somewhere together. Maybe a holiday, watching a movie or getting a couples massage spa treatment. If you can reach that last one, you've scored big.
Don't get me wrong. Those are just suggestions that will help out but there's lots of other stuff you can use. The main thing is to keep handy some of these so the silence won't be visible and you don't look or feel like a complete idiot. Please don't go researching on topics like lymphatic nodes disorders to make yourself sound wiser. The silence will definitely be worse and you can hear a pin drop after because the other person won't have a clue how to respond to you. Your voice will be the only thing you'll hear and you would have forced the silence into the other person. Don't make the other person seem stupid. The point is to talk about things that are more common and the conversation flow will be a two way street.
Bar advice. The silence can be broken if you just open your mouth and if you got a whole bag of topics to discuss.
Things like this happen so what can we do about it? Here are a couple of tips to keep handy. My advice is to store some knowledge about things that they show in National Geographic, Discover Channel or Lonely Planet. There's a host of subjects that you can talk about and you can keep yourself well informed about interesting subjects. Start off by asking where the person has traveled before or went on holiday. What was the culture like? Where will they like to visit next? This may lead to you discussing about making plans on going there together.
Simple one is movies. Lots of people watch them so it's a no brainer that you got lots to talk about. Find out if the person likes comedies, romance, period dramas or whatever the fancy is. Discuss your favourites. Which stars do they like? Also move to TV shows as lots of people have likes and dislikes of certain shows. If you want to talk about music that could be good as well because there's lots of entertainers to talk about. See how the conversation gets moving. As it continues it will feel more pleasant. Just remember to give the other a chance to talk so as well.
Another one you can talk about is festive days. Ask what they did last Christmas or what their New Year's resolution was. This generally leads to why they did or made the resolution at the end of that year. It normally is because they year may have been bad and they wanted to change things. Most people are glad to just purge themselves so they are willing to bring up all the stuff that they dislike and off load it to any listening person. Let them do most of the talking. you'll find that you just became their 'best friend' when you become a sympathetic listener to them.
Remember one thing as you get further into conversation. Your main interest was getting to know the person better so as conversation deepens you must also add the attraction factor into it. Underline your conversations, from time to time, with sublime suggestions. By this I mean that your main thoughts should be to add to the attraction of the person and getting him or her to be more interested in you. Where possible add suggestions about going somewhere together. Maybe a holiday, watching a movie or getting a couples massage spa treatment. If you can reach that last one, you've scored big.
Don't get me wrong. Those are just suggestions that will help out but there's lots of other stuff you can use. The main thing is to keep handy some of these so the silence won't be visible and you don't look or feel like a complete idiot. Please don't go researching on topics like lymphatic nodes disorders to make yourself sound wiser. The silence will definitely be worse and you can hear a pin drop after because the other person won't have a clue how to respond to you. Your voice will be the only thing you'll hear and you would have forced the silence into the other person. Don't make the other person seem stupid. The point is to talk about things that are more common and the conversation flow will be a two way street.
Bar advice. The silence can be broken if you just open your mouth and if you got a whole bag of topics to discuss.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Nothing to lose
Some how it seems that some guys get the girl and when we look at them we wonder how they did it. He may not be all that great looking or even have deep pockets but he's got a terrific girl in his arms. This doesn't naturally mean she's a model or superstar but it can. Mostly though she's someone that most guys would like to be with themselves.
What's the secret? How is it that some guys can do it while others are cracking their heads over which new book to read or go to some dating sites to see who's just as desperate as themselves. The Internet dating sites actually do help in the sense that they give you a whole lot of info about the girl even before you contact her. That allows you to see if you're right for each other but when it comes to meeting her in person, then what?
Lot's of people do lie on the Internet dating sites like FriendFinder and some give info about things they would do with a partner, but when met personally, turn into a turtle that hides in their shell. Even if she turns out to be exactly what she says the problem still becomes apparent that guys feel like they're about to be hit by a truck if she doesn't like him. That sense of insecurity befalls him because she may not respond to him the way he'd like.
Just like when you go to a bar. You see all these wonderful, hot looking felines prancing around in their high heeled shoes, sexy dresses with low cut cleavage. You salivate till your drool hits the floor. You can't stop turning you head in all directions because you're not sure which is the hottest looking. You're hopelessly dreaming that one of them has an accident with her drink and one of her tits pops out. Suddenly you notice that one guy, who doesn't resemble even your looks, is sitting with a really sexy girl and their having a good time. How? Why? What's the story here?
The main thing that I have come to notice is, these guys have adopted an attitude that's different to the normal ways guys go about getting girls. It's just three simple words. If you asked these guys what's the secret, they'll tell you that's it's just three simple words. "Nothing to lose". This is also something that I use when I'm out for the night. It's partly inbuilt for me but others can also learn it.
The trick is to be confident and remember that you have nothing to lose if there's a negative response from the girl. There's more than one person to choose from. Oddly enough, sometimes if the girl rejects you and she later gets to know your friend and you all end up meeting together again she may actually be drawn to you. She may even tell you that she didn't know that you are actually a nice guy or she didn't know you well enough to feel comfortable with you. This is an indicator that tells you she may now be interested. It may be your best chance to at least get her number. Let's just hope that she isn't already attached with your friend. Than again she's got other friends that you may get to know.
See how the whole cycle of those three little words gets the ball rolling. Do a little test for yourself the next time you go to the next bar or club. Think of three things you'll lose if you went up to chat with her or take her out. You probably won't reach three but if you got more than that, you either worry too much or you really need help.
Bar advice. You're never going to get to the other side if you don't cross it with one foot at the time. Who knows? You may even fly when you reach the other end.
What's the secret? How is it that some guys can do it while others are cracking their heads over which new book to read or go to some dating sites to see who's just as desperate as themselves. The Internet dating sites actually do help in the sense that they give you a whole lot of info about the girl even before you contact her. That allows you to see if you're right for each other but when it comes to meeting her in person, then what?
Lot's of people do lie on the Internet dating sites like FriendFinder and some give info about things they would do with a partner, but when met personally, turn into a turtle that hides in their shell. Even if she turns out to be exactly what she says the problem still becomes apparent that guys feel like they're about to be hit by a truck if she doesn't like him. That sense of insecurity befalls him because she may not respond to him the way he'd like.
Just like when you go to a bar. You see all these wonderful, hot looking felines prancing around in their high heeled shoes, sexy dresses with low cut cleavage. You salivate till your drool hits the floor. You can't stop turning you head in all directions because you're not sure which is the hottest looking. You're hopelessly dreaming that one of them has an accident with her drink and one of her tits pops out. Suddenly you notice that one guy, who doesn't resemble even your looks, is sitting with a really sexy girl and their having a good time. How? Why? What's the story here?
The main thing that I have come to notice is, these guys have adopted an attitude that's different to the normal ways guys go about getting girls. It's just three simple words. If you asked these guys what's the secret, they'll tell you that's it's just three simple words. "Nothing to lose". This is also something that I use when I'm out for the night. It's partly inbuilt for me but others can also learn it.
The trick is to be confident and remember that you have nothing to lose if there's a negative response from the girl. There's more than one person to choose from. Oddly enough, sometimes if the girl rejects you and she later gets to know your friend and you all end up meeting together again she may actually be drawn to you. She may even tell you that she didn't know that you are actually a nice guy or she didn't know you well enough to feel comfortable with you. This is an indicator that tells you she may now be interested. It may be your best chance to at least get her number. Let's just hope that she isn't already attached with your friend. Than again she's got other friends that you may get to know.
See how the whole cycle of those three little words gets the ball rolling. Do a little test for yourself the next time you go to the next bar or club. Think of three things you'll lose if you went up to chat with her or take her out. You probably won't reach three but if you got more than that, you either worry too much or you really need help.
Bar advice. You're never going to get to the other side if you don't cross it with one foot at the time. Who knows? You may even fly when you reach the other end.
The hunger site
The Hunger Site was founded to focus the power of the Internet on a specific humanitarian need; the eradication of world hunger. Since its launch in June 1999, the site has established itself as a leader in online activism, helping to feed the world's hungry and food insecure. On average, over 220,000 individuals from around the world visit the site each day to click the yellow "Click Here to Give - it's FREE" button. To date, more that 200 million visitors have given more than 300 million cups of staple food. Its grassroots popularity has been recognized with Web awards in the activism category. The 2000 Cool Site of the Year Award and the People's Voice winner at the 2000 .
The staple food funded by clicks at The Hunger Site is paid for by site sponsors and distributed to those in need by and America's Second Harvest. 100% of sponsor advertising fees goes to our charitable partners. Funds are split between these organizations and go to the aid of hungry people in over 74 countries, including those in Africa, Asia, Eastern Europe, the Middle East, Latin America and North America.
The Hunger Site is owned and operated by Tim Kunin and Greg Hesterberg, co-owners of CharityUSA.com (parent company of GreaterGood Network).
* Text above taken from The Hunger Site.
Please click on the banner below to see what you can do to help or click on the logo on the right hand side of the blog. Every click puts food in a childs mouth.
Bar advice. More people should do something like this to help others. We all go on with our daily lives without consideration of those that die from hunger.
The staple food funded by clicks at The Hunger Site is paid for by site sponsors and distributed to those in need by and America's Second Harvest. 100% of sponsor advertising fees goes to our charitable partners. Funds are split between these organizations and go to the aid of hungry people in over 74 countries, including those in Africa, Asia, Eastern Europe, the Middle East, Latin America and North America.
The Hunger Site is owned and operated by Tim Kunin and Greg Hesterberg, co-owners of CharityUSA.com (parent company of GreaterGood Network).
* Text above taken from The Hunger Site.
Please click on the banner below to see what you can do to help or click on the logo on the right hand side of the blog. Every click puts food in a childs mouth.
Bar advice. More people should do something like this to help others. We all go on with our daily lives without consideration of those that die from hunger.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Girl. Guy and mother-in-law to be
This trio came to the bar and actually sat at the counter and begin talking about what was happening with their lives. They were there several hours and as they had more to drink, they also had more to say.
What would a guy say to his potential mother-in-law in front of his girlfriend? Of course he's going to be nice and all that. Do you think he's actually going to show a side that's going to have the girl's mother worried. The mother had come from Dubai where she staying with her husband who works there. They're all actually from England and her daughter called her over for a week.
I must admit that the mother seemed like a really nice, fun filled, adventurous and independent person. She is 53. Later I learnt that she had remarried after a divorce. This all came about after I talked to them about their horoscopes and Chinese zodiac signs. The guy didn't seem all that happy when I got to him and what his characteristics was like. That's because he's born in the tiger year and these guys can be very quiet but very aggressive when confronted of angered. He didn't like my advice to his girl either except the part when I said that they were actually quite suitable. The only problem they had was their horoscopes being the same.
As the night went on late, he started to flirt with the mother by saying things that bounced off my generalization of her. Things like the fact that the mother, although older, still had a fiery zest in life. Happy and desirable still to any man that walked into the place. He started picking up on these things and made remarks, jestingly in front of his girlfriend. I sensed that he was just trying to score points with her to get her to know and like him better.
No harm in that. However, when having a debate about something his girlfriend asked hypothetically, he lost it there and then because the mother was in support of her daughter and even I could tell that she thought he was wrong in certain things that was said. He seemed to give the impression that respect and loyalty were of the utmost importance. Love just fit in there. Also, he got upset about her pointing out that he gets upset when other guys talk to her and it's fine when he does it. It became all messy and frustrating. Thank goodness I played some nice tunes and both mother and daughter took to dancing for a while. Things settled down after that. They all left later. Huge bill and pissed.
Bar advice. Never talk or criticize about someone in front of another if you can't accept the naked truth about yourself either. We all got our flaws and shortcomings.
What would a guy say to his potential mother-in-law in front of his girlfriend? Of course he's going to be nice and all that. Do you think he's actually going to show a side that's going to have the girl's mother worried. The mother had come from Dubai where she staying with her husband who works there. They're all actually from England and her daughter called her over for a week.
I must admit that the mother seemed like a really nice, fun filled, adventurous and independent person. She is 53. Later I learnt that she had remarried after a divorce. This all came about after I talked to them about their horoscopes and Chinese zodiac signs. The guy didn't seem all that happy when I got to him and what his characteristics was like. That's because he's born in the tiger year and these guys can be very quiet but very aggressive when confronted of angered. He didn't like my advice to his girl either except the part when I said that they were actually quite suitable. The only problem they had was their horoscopes being the same.
As the night went on late, he started to flirt with the mother by saying things that bounced off my generalization of her. Things like the fact that the mother, although older, still had a fiery zest in life. Happy and desirable still to any man that walked into the place. He started picking up on these things and made remarks, jestingly in front of his girlfriend. I sensed that he was just trying to score points with her to get her to know and like him better.
No harm in that. However, when having a debate about something his girlfriend asked hypothetically, he lost it there and then because the mother was in support of her daughter and even I could tell that she thought he was wrong in certain things that was said. He seemed to give the impression that respect and loyalty were of the utmost importance. Love just fit in there. Also, he got upset about her pointing out that he gets upset when other guys talk to her and it's fine when he does it. It became all messy and frustrating. Thank goodness I played some nice tunes and both mother and daughter took to dancing for a while. Things settled down after that. They all left later. Huge bill and pissed.
Bar advice. Never talk or criticize about someone in front of another if you can't accept the naked truth about yourself either. We all got our flaws and shortcomings.
Gorgeous women Part 2
The other day Keli(not real name)came by the bar with the same friend. It was several weeks since she was there. I have her phone number as well as email address but did not contact her because she said she would come by to settle a bill for one jug that they drank but would pay for later.
When they got there, Keli was first in the door, followed by her friend. I was placing a CD in the machine. She smiled at me but never said hello. The other girl just walk behind her. They went to the seat so I went up to get their order first thinking that Keli would be courteous enough to open her mouth with a general greeting or at least make the assurance that they did not forget about the money owed. Instead, her friend just ordered the drinks.
I went and got them and brought it to the table. As I placed it on the table I said, "I thought you all forgot about the bar" No real response from them so I went to the main bar. I started to wonder what was happening. I remembered that she was in my email list of customers. I sent out my normal monthly emails to all in the list so it may have struck her that she forgot about the money and that's why they were there. Later I thought, could it be that she wasn't talking to me because she read the first blog I wrote about her and the friend.
They later asked for a snack menu. They giggled while walking away and then I saw Keli adjusting her blouse. The last time she had the tight blouse with buttons almost popping out. This time the top button was undone. What's a guy to do? Got to look, right? She is hot after all.
I was busy with other people but twice that she went to the toilets, she had to pass me but smiled only and never stopped to chat or anything. Upon the second time she went, her friend quickly called me for the bill. When I told her the price, I included the previous amount. She actually went over the amount with me twice and only after I told her about the former bill, did she pay. No arguments either. That only tells me that they knew about it and was just waiting to see if I would ask for it or had forgotten about it. When Keli got back to the seat the friend told her that what she paid. They sort of had a laugh and left without saying goodbye. Keli still just all smiles only.
I was kind of disappointed that there was no other interaction from Keli. I'm still unsure if her friend, or her, is a lesbian. Maybe she's not or even the friend but the friend seems to be in a "high class stereotype" but can't pull it off. Keli looks like the sweet girl she is but shouldn't follow others advice that are self destructive. They're both lawyers so why try and pretend that there was no debt? Why ask me twice about the amount and pay with no deliberations after a reminder about the debt? Lawyers are suppose to be honest and have integrity, not look good and get away with it.
The worse part about all this is that Keli just doesn't get it. Nobody cares if she or her friend may be a lesbian or not. The thing is any guy wants to know a gorgeous women. He'd like to talk to her or better still have her come talk to him. His ego is filled when this happens in front of other guys. After all it's only a conversation. Also, even if the friend is not a lesbian who is after her, at least the friend shouldn't be so stuck up as to think that being a lawyer makes you better than others. People like this look superficially at others and judge them. They feel that others who are not in some professional field, wealthy, business and so on, are not able to converse with them on any level or subject.
People like this have labels and classification for others but they dislike others judging them or talking about them. Keli and others like her that follow friends like this loose out on life and people that could otherwise be advantages to her in her life. Who is to say what can make you happy, smile, laugh or love. The world is made up of many different people and just like a book, don't judge it by it's cover.
Bar advice. Any lawyer should know right from wrong. Good from bad. Truth from lies. Friends from bitc.........
When they got there, Keli was first in the door, followed by her friend. I was placing a CD in the machine. She smiled at me but never said hello. The other girl just walk behind her. They went to the seat so I went up to get their order first thinking that Keli would be courteous enough to open her mouth with a general greeting or at least make the assurance that they did not forget about the money owed. Instead, her friend just ordered the drinks.
I went and got them and brought it to the table. As I placed it on the table I said, "I thought you all forgot about the bar" No real response from them so I went to the main bar. I started to wonder what was happening. I remembered that she was in my email list of customers. I sent out my normal monthly emails to all in the list so it may have struck her that she forgot about the money and that's why they were there. Later I thought, could it be that she wasn't talking to me because she read the first blog I wrote about her and the friend.
They later asked for a snack menu. They giggled while walking away and then I saw Keli adjusting her blouse. The last time she had the tight blouse with buttons almost popping out. This time the top button was undone. What's a guy to do? Got to look, right? She is hot after all.
I was busy with other people but twice that she went to the toilets, she had to pass me but smiled only and never stopped to chat or anything. Upon the second time she went, her friend quickly called me for the bill. When I told her the price, I included the previous amount. She actually went over the amount with me twice and only after I told her about the former bill, did she pay. No arguments either. That only tells me that they knew about it and was just waiting to see if I would ask for it or had forgotten about it. When Keli got back to the seat the friend told her that what she paid. They sort of had a laugh and left without saying goodbye. Keli still just all smiles only.
I was kind of disappointed that there was no other interaction from Keli. I'm still unsure if her friend, or her, is a lesbian. Maybe she's not or even the friend but the friend seems to be in a "high class stereotype" but can't pull it off. Keli looks like the sweet girl she is but shouldn't follow others advice that are self destructive. They're both lawyers so why try and pretend that there was no debt? Why ask me twice about the amount and pay with no deliberations after a reminder about the debt? Lawyers are suppose to be honest and have integrity, not look good and get away with it.
The worse part about all this is that Keli just doesn't get it. Nobody cares if she or her friend may be a lesbian or not. The thing is any guy wants to know a gorgeous women. He'd like to talk to her or better still have her come talk to him. His ego is filled when this happens in front of other guys. After all it's only a conversation. Also, even if the friend is not a lesbian who is after her, at least the friend shouldn't be so stuck up as to think that being a lawyer makes you better than others. People like this look superficially at others and judge them. They feel that others who are not in some professional field, wealthy, business and so on, are not able to converse with them on any level or subject.
People like this have labels and classification for others but they dislike others judging them or talking about them. Keli and others like her that follow friends like this loose out on life and people that could otherwise be advantages to her in her life. Who is to say what can make you happy, smile, laugh or love. The world is made up of many different people and just like a book, don't judge it by it's cover.
Bar advice. Any lawyer should know right from wrong. Good from bad. Truth from lies. Friends from bitc.........
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Monday, September 10, 2007
Remembering 911
911 six years ago. A day we all won't forget soon. In fact we can't because we're still seeing stuff going on almost everyday of the year on TV. We watch countless wars, terrorism, violence, ruthlessness and discard of human life and dignity.
To live in this world now is to be afraid to even leave the house for some. Those more in the western world are still furious about 911 but healing is also taking place. People are getting the truth that it's not all Muslims that are fighting against them but the extremist that seek their own agenda and political gain. they hide behind the facade of Islam and it's teachings to carry out their works. It's still a long way before peace can come.
Where were you when 911 happened? I know exactly where I was. I had another bar before and it was into it's second year at the time. I clearly remember getting a SMS on my phone about what happened. I turned on the TV to see it and it was before the second plane hit. As things got worst we turned off the music and got the sound up for all to hear. As the day went on and the towers begun to fall, one of my customers, an American said to me;" You see this, the world will never be the same after this". Those words did become true. Till today we see no end as yet.
There is still hope that things can change. We must have that hope because all those that died will have been in vain. US and allied forces sent to regions of places they never even heard of in their lives, only to come back in body bags. Some burnt, maimed or injured from suicide or road bombs. Many get shot and killed. Children loosing their parents. Wives loosing their husbands and children their mothers. other places that seem peaceful are also being attacked or plotted against for violence and terrorism. What has the world come to?
At least we see things like North Korea giving up it's nuclear ambitions and settling for peace and friendship. It's a huge sigh of relief to know that a dictator like that has changed and decided to abandon it's stand. All those people are worse than the third world because they have been oppressed and ruled over that they have never known what the world has to offer and what's out there can be a better life for them. They have allowed one man to run their lives to the point that they starved unknown that the rest of the world was eager to help them but could do nothing.
Looking at Osama and his Al-Qaeda agenda, what will we face if he's allowed to be victorious. Everyone can be upset and angry with other people but to kill innocent people and justify it with whatever reason, especially religion, is wrong. This network has roped in the younger people, social outcast, oppressed, unemployed and others with hope that more will sympathise with their cause and join them. Fueling the code that martyrdom awaits all those that follow them. Those that do, are basically brain washed into thinking that a better after life is theirs and because this one is not giving them much, they choose the cause.
Remembering 911 may bring back sad and bitter memories for a lot of people but life has to go on. Living and fighting back is the only hope there can be to make this world a better place for all to live in. It may even take a generation but is it worth it to you? Places like China, Russia and soon possibly Cuba, have slowly followed the rest of world societies and are now more friends than they have ever been before. Northern Ireland finally settled peacefully. Other countries that are in turmoil are now looking at the benefits of what peace and stability can bring.
If the world had more selfless human beings and gracious people, there would be different lives for all. In the Bible it is written, Love your neighbour as you love yourself. I'm quite sure that it has to be written somewhere in the Quran, Torah, Taoist, Buddhist, Hindu teachings and more, something of the same nature. Love conquers all. In the end most people will see that and all this violence and injustice will crumble in front of the people that embrace their faith teachings of love and peace. Of living, working and understanding their "brother" and "sister" that is different but the same but different.
I don't normally go into this in my blog but I decided to write these views because we all have to remember 911 in our own ways. We each got our opinions and concerns about what is taking place in the world we live in. What's you stand on peace?
Bar advice. Never let "someone" tell you what is right or wrong. Do not judge others least you be judged by your creator upon your death. Do good deeds and fight injustice now before your time comes.
To live in this world now is to be afraid to even leave the house for some. Those more in the western world are still furious about 911 but healing is also taking place. People are getting the truth that it's not all Muslims that are fighting against them but the extremist that seek their own agenda and political gain. they hide behind the facade of Islam and it's teachings to carry out their works. It's still a long way before peace can come.
Where were you when 911 happened? I know exactly where I was. I had another bar before and it was into it's second year at the time. I clearly remember getting a SMS on my phone about what happened. I turned on the TV to see it and it was before the second plane hit. As things got worst we turned off the music and got the sound up for all to hear. As the day went on and the towers begun to fall, one of my customers, an American said to me;" You see this, the world will never be the same after this". Those words did become true. Till today we see no end as yet.
There is still hope that things can change. We must have that hope because all those that died will have been in vain. US and allied forces sent to regions of places they never even heard of in their lives, only to come back in body bags. Some burnt, maimed or injured from suicide or road bombs. Many get shot and killed. Children loosing their parents. Wives loosing their husbands and children their mothers. other places that seem peaceful are also being attacked or plotted against for violence and terrorism. What has the world come to?
At least we see things like North Korea giving up it's nuclear ambitions and settling for peace and friendship. It's a huge sigh of relief to know that a dictator like that has changed and decided to abandon it's stand. All those people are worse than the third world because they have been oppressed and ruled over that they have never known what the world has to offer and what's out there can be a better life for them. They have allowed one man to run their lives to the point that they starved unknown that the rest of the world was eager to help them but could do nothing.
Looking at Osama and his Al-Qaeda agenda, what will we face if he's allowed to be victorious. Everyone can be upset and angry with other people but to kill innocent people and justify it with whatever reason, especially religion, is wrong. This network has roped in the younger people, social outcast, oppressed, unemployed and others with hope that more will sympathise with their cause and join them. Fueling the code that martyrdom awaits all those that follow them. Those that do, are basically brain washed into thinking that a better after life is theirs and because this one is not giving them much, they choose the cause.
Remembering 911 may bring back sad and bitter memories for a lot of people but life has to go on. Living and fighting back is the only hope there can be to make this world a better place for all to live in. It may even take a generation but is it worth it to you? Places like China, Russia and soon possibly Cuba, have slowly followed the rest of world societies and are now more friends than they have ever been before. Northern Ireland finally settled peacefully. Other countries that are in turmoil are now looking at the benefits of what peace and stability can bring.
If the world had more selfless human beings and gracious people, there would be different lives for all. In the Bible it is written, Love your neighbour as you love yourself. I'm quite sure that it has to be written somewhere in the Quran, Torah, Taoist, Buddhist, Hindu teachings and more, something of the same nature. Love conquers all. In the end most people will see that and all this violence and injustice will crumble in front of the people that embrace their faith teachings of love and peace. Of living, working and understanding their "brother" and "sister" that is different but the same but different.
I don't normally go into this in my blog but I decided to write these views because we all have to remember 911 in our own ways. We each got our opinions and concerns about what is taking place in the world we live in. What's you stand on peace?
Bar advice. Never let "someone" tell you what is right or wrong. Do not judge others least you be judged by your creator upon your death. Do good deeds and fight injustice now before your time comes.
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St Mother Theresa. 10 years on.
What can be said about the living saint as she was known when she was alive. Oddly enough was the fact that she and Princess Diana met several times in their lives. They became very fond of each other and even prayed together once. Never did we expect that Mother Theresa would follow her into death just days after Diana's death.
As we all remember, the Indian government gave her full state burial rights even though she wasn't a citizen. India lost a true asset to it's people. The poorest of the poor had one voice and face that was the helping hand to their troubles. Now they are left with her mission that she started called The Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta. Now her sister nuns run it and they are doing a great job as well.
We also mustn't forget that she won the Noble Peace Prize in 1979. Even then she was reluctant to take it as it came with a large monetary amount. This of course she added to the missions fund. Today the stretch over 40 countries, help the needy and less fortunate.
Let us remember that our own lives are filled with goodness. Do we really need all that material stuff? Are we so blind as not to see our neighbour in trouble? Can we do something to better the world today? What and who you are can only be answered by yourself. f you can just find love for others as you love yourself, the world will be a better place.
Bar advice. If you were approached by someone like Mother Theresa and asked to leave everything and go help her, would you? Isn't it a hard choice? It wasn't for her though.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Does size matter?
Here we come to the age old question that looms over the heads of guys all over the world. Does size matter? Most people say no, even the women but if they got one in their hands, head or hole, they're not about to complaint.
It's safe to say that the guys that do have a well hung one may have a better time with the ladies but not necessarily because some guys don't even know how to get the girl in the first place, hence, his dilemma of not knowing what to do with the 'snake' in his pants.If a girl likes a large one or if a guy wants a long one, then size matters only to that individual. The vagina is only eight to thirteen centimeters long, and even a small penis can touch every square centimeter within the vagina unless she likes anal sex and needs something that can go deeper. To each, their own fetish.
Can penis size be increased? Yes! There is only two methods. The Bihari Procedure and the Fat Infection method. You can check that out yourself. What most don't know about is something called "blue balls". What is it? The simple terms blue balls occurs when the epididymis(correct term for it) gets blocked up with sperm that have left the testis but not the penis. The vas deferns are the conduit for the sperm from the testis to the urethra. When they get blocked you get pain. Why blue balls and not "swollen balls," well maybe the connotation is that your balls have the "blues", or maybe its because with all that swelling some of the blood flow is restricted enough to cause some blueing of the area because of pooling blood. I don't know. Get a medical opinion if you got it.
Enough medical talk. The fact that remains is when you want to have sex with someone it will not matter if the two people are in passion and in heat for each others comforts and sexual desires. If a guy is having a "one night stand" plan then surely a guy will be conscious of his "toy" because he doesn't want to be laughed at. For a girl she may be in need of a well hung guy because when she's horny she wants the bang to be memorable so she can get through the week with pleasure. Normal human behaviour I suppose. The funny thing is that even a guy that is smaller down below can still give great sex if he knows what to do.
In various ways men need to know that they can satisfy almost all women the same way. Their problem is that they have seen too much porn that when it's time to have sex with the girl they drop their pants, imagine this huge "canon" coming out but only to find that they got a "pea shooter". Then what? If he's thinking it, then he thinks that she'll be thinking of that as well. The whole night will be spoilt then unhappiness and frustration wins.
What now? Well, guys should take time to master the art of seduction a little more. Make her want you for you and not if you got a "magnum" between your legs. If she wants you, you're in. She'll take you for the man you are and accept all of you. Guys got to learn to make her want you and when you do end up in bed, do things like massages, bedroom games, teasing, cunnilingus, fetishes and more. Rock her world and she won't care about anything else. The foreplay can be just as good as the sex act itself.
Bar advice. The most seductive tool that anyone can use is your voice. Words are so important to the whole pursuit. Any girl reading what I just wrote will agree.
It's safe to say that the guys that do have a well hung one may have a better time with the ladies but not necessarily because some guys don't even know how to get the girl in the first place, hence, his dilemma of not knowing what to do with the 'snake' in his pants.If a girl likes a large one or if a guy wants a long one, then size matters only to that individual. The vagina is only eight to thirteen centimeters long, and even a small penis can touch every square centimeter within the vagina unless she likes anal sex and needs something that can go deeper. To each, their own fetish.
Can penis size be increased? Yes! There is only two methods. The Bihari Procedure and the Fat Infection method. You can check that out yourself. What most don't know about is something called "blue balls". What is it? The simple terms blue balls occurs when the epididymis(correct term for it) gets blocked up with sperm that have left the testis but not the penis. The vas deferns are the conduit for the sperm from the testis to the urethra. When they get blocked you get pain. Why blue balls and not "swollen balls," well maybe the connotation is that your balls have the "blues", or maybe its because with all that swelling some of the blood flow is restricted enough to cause some blueing of the area because of pooling blood. I don't know. Get a medical opinion if you got it.
Enough medical talk. The fact that remains is when you want to have sex with someone it will not matter if the two people are in passion and in heat for each others comforts and sexual desires. If a guy is having a "one night stand" plan then surely a guy will be conscious of his "toy" because he doesn't want to be laughed at. For a girl she may be in need of a well hung guy because when she's horny she wants the bang to be memorable so she can get through the week with pleasure. Normal human behaviour I suppose. The funny thing is that even a guy that is smaller down below can still give great sex if he knows what to do.
In various ways men need to know that they can satisfy almost all women the same way. Their problem is that they have seen too much porn that when it's time to have sex with the girl they drop their pants, imagine this huge "canon" coming out but only to find that they got a "pea shooter". Then what? If he's thinking it, then he thinks that she'll be thinking of that as well. The whole night will be spoilt then unhappiness and frustration wins.
What now? Well, guys should take time to master the art of seduction a little more. Make her want you for you and not if you got a "magnum" between your legs. If she wants you, you're in. She'll take you for the man you are and accept all of you. Guys got to learn to make her want you and when you do end up in bed, do things like massages, bedroom games, teasing, cunnilingus, fetishes and more. Rock her world and she won't care about anything else. The foreplay can be just as good as the sex act itself.
Bar advice. The most seductive tool that anyone can use is your voice. Words are so important to the whole pursuit. Any girl reading what I just wrote will agree.
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Monday, September 3, 2007
Sex when getting older
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Princess Diana. 10 years on.
I really don't want to mention much about the subject but I thought that we still need to remember her in many ways. What did you think of her? One thing that we don't know too much is the fact that Diana was a great mother.
I just hope that she has finally found peace and is in a better place that we all long for. Some people in this world don't deserve to die at such a young age but death comes to us all. We just don't know the day and time.
As we remember Princess Diana, 10 years on, the most photographed woman in the world is no longer here and her boys are coming of age. Soon they will be dating and thinking of marriage. Will another princess be hounded all over the globe like her when her sons marry?
Bar advice. Diana is still one of many that are in the limelight of the media. What would you do if you were in her shoes? Run or fight?
Long distance love
If you're contemplating embarking on romance from afar - or are already in the throes of if, don't stress. Whether or not the relationship works is up to you. It's your willingness to face the facts and make the most of them. Let's start with the good news.
While you may find yourself wanting to spend more time with your sweetie than the distance between you affords, you'll also find yourself growing more comfortable in your own skin. If the relationship is a good one. Why? Because long distance love gives you plenty of time for yourself, your friends and your family and what better time to strengthen your sense of self than while you're experiencing absence of the other.
Study reveals that women can tell the difference between a family man and a ladies man just by looking at his face! Maybe.
When your heart wants to say yes also consider that the disappearing act many couples pull in the early relationship stages. The one that alienates the people who are close to them, doesn't happen here. Poorly rearranged priorities that wind up setting you back are also skipped.
In other words, you get the rush of new love without sacrificing your individuality, your friends and your family. As anyone who's had an all consuming love affair knows, there's something to be said for that! After all, two strong individuals make the best kind of pair. In long distance love, there's no room for getting lost in the other person or losing yourself.
There is also a prolonged honeymoon stage in a long distance relationship that increases your sense of romance and who can blame you for feeling all warm and fuzzy? There's something storybook,almost fairytale, in the idea that two people can share a love strong enough to overcome distance and live happily ever after, right?
Which brings us to the bad news.
There are plenty of downsides to long distance love, starting, of course, with a shortage of time spent together. However, the single biggest obstacle in this scenario is getting caught up in fantasy. While it may be true that you won't get lost in the other person if you're communicating across time zones, it is still completely possible and incredibly common to get lost in your idea of who the other person is.
Truly getting to know someone across the miles is a difficult task, no matter how good you are at text messaging, emailing and even phone calls. After all, phone sex isn't the real thing any more than phone calls equal intimate dinners. It's easier to keep blinders on when you can't see the object of your affection in the flesh on a regular basis. However, in long distance love, your other senses need to come into play even more than usual. Knowing the difference between your gut instincts and your deepest desires is key. Hearing what you want to hear and projecting your desires onto your far away lover will do nothing but lead to disappointment.
As in any relationship, honesty and authenticity are the orders of the day if you want your relationship to have a chance of surviving the miles. You both need to be open about your intentions, honest about your emotions and happy for, rather than jealous of, your partner having a life while you're apart. This doesn't mean you should settle for them seeing other people (unless that's what you agree to), but petty jealousies and the desire to control your mate's activities when they're in a different locale will do nothing but drive an emotional wedge between you.
Lastly, it's important to remember that long distance can only go on for so long. In other words, if the ultimate intention isn't to find a way to spend more time together, you should really consider if this is the relationship for you or, are you just taking what you think you can get? Only you know what will work for you but set the romantic fantasy aside and be honest with yourself. Isn't the best part of having a life partner actually having a partner present in your life?
Bar advice. Nobody likes to be apart from a love one but when it becomes necessary the core thing would be that trust and love must be strongly anchored in the relationship.
While you may find yourself wanting to spend more time with your sweetie than the distance between you affords, you'll also find yourself growing more comfortable in your own skin. If the relationship is a good one. Why? Because long distance love gives you plenty of time for yourself, your friends and your family and what better time to strengthen your sense of self than while you're experiencing absence of the other.
Study reveals that women can tell the difference between a family man and a ladies man just by looking at his face! Maybe.
When your heart wants to say yes also consider that the disappearing act many couples pull in the early relationship stages. The one that alienates the people who are close to them, doesn't happen here. Poorly rearranged priorities that wind up setting you back are also skipped.
In other words, you get the rush of new love without sacrificing your individuality, your friends and your family. As anyone who's had an all consuming love affair knows, there's something to be said for that! After all, two strong individuals make the best kind of pair. In long distance love, there's no room for getting lost in the other person or losing yourself.
There is also a prolonged honeymoon stage in a long distance relationship that increases your sense of romance and who can blame you for feeling all warm and fuzzy? There's something storybook,almost fairytale, in the idea that two people can share a love strong enough to overcome distance and live happily ever after, right?
Which brings us to the bad news.
There are plenty of downsides to long distance love, starting, of course, with a shortage of time spent together. However, the single biggest obstacle in this scenario is getting caught up in fantasy. While it may be true that you won't get lost in the other person if you're communicating across time zones, it is still completely possible and incredibly common to get lost in your idea of who the other person is.
Truly getting to know someone across the miles is a difficult task, no matter how good you are at text messaging, emailing and even phone calls. After all, phone sex isn't the real thing any more than phone calls equal intimate dinners. It's easier to keep blinders on when you can't see the object of your affection in the flesh on a regular basis. However, in long distance love, your other senses need to come into play even more than usual. Knowing the difference between your gut instincts and your deepest desires is key. Hearing what you want to hear and projecting your desires onto your far away lover will do nothing but lead to disappointment.
As in any relationship, honesty and authenticity are the orders of the day if you want your relationship to have a chance of surviving the miles. You both need to be open about your intentions, honest about your emotions and happy for, rather than jealous of, your partner having a life while you're apart. This doesn't mean you should settle for them seeing other people (unless that's what you agree to), but petty jealousies and the desire to control your mate's activities when they're in a different locale will do nothing but drive an emotional wedge between you.
Lastly, it's important to remember that long distance can only go on for so long. In other words, if the ultimate intention isn't to find a way to spend more time together, you should really consider if this is the relationship for you or, are you just taking what you think you can get? Only you know what will work for you but set the romantic fantasy aside and be honest with yourself. Isn't the best part of having a life partner actually having a partner present in your life?
Bar advice. Nobody likes to be apart from a love one but when it becomes necessary the core thing would be that trust and love must be strongly anchored in the relationship.
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Sunday, September 2, 2007
Helping somone in a robbery.
I just closed up the bar last Wednesday night and was on my way to a friends bar that was still open to get a few more beers and basically talk shop while I caught some of the 'eye candy' that works there. Suddenly I heard screaming before I got to the road to get a taxi.
I thought it was just a girl having arguments with her guy or something but the last words I heard her was that her bag was been taken. I saw a guy head off with a white ladies bag in hand but he ran behind a bridge staircase and I thought that it was too late to do anything as I approached.
Fortunately, as he ran towards the main road he came across people that were walking by so he made a U-turn back toward the inner road which I was on. When he saw me he tried to hide the bag behind him but I had a slight glance of him before he dashed off so I knew he was the robber. He was about twenty feet from me when I pointed at him and said to drop the bag. He just raised his hand, palm open facing me, in jesture to tell me to mind my business but I repeated to drop the bag as he got closer. I clinched my fist at this point of time and I could see people standing at the road but did nothing. He looked at the best possible way to run from me and he ducked into the shop area to go around me but I followed and after a few chased steps he flung the bag at me. I did not continue the chase as the lady was there and got her bag back.
The lady was really good looking. She did have a bruised knee from the struggle but didn't want to call the police. I asked why she came through the ally to get to the road at that hour and she said because it was after work. She owns a advertising agency on that street. Then she goes to say that she never had anyone ever try to rob her with a knife. When I heard her say that I was shocked. I never saw a weapon and the robber never produced it when I stopped him. However, to know that my life may have been in danger was sobering. She said she was going to meet friends for a beeer and I told her that I was going to do the same thing. I offered to send her all the way there but she declined.
What was funny to me was the fact that she didn't want me to follow her or help her anymore and actaully said to me politely," you don't have to bring me as I can make it on my own". I asked, not her, what her name was and told her mine then parted ways with her at the corner of the street. This all happened after I was applauded by the people that saw the incident. For her, and her bruised knee, it seemed trivial. Unsure why?
Any appriciative person would be happy to make a new firend. Buy them a beer, get a number or be the first to ask the persons name. This lady seemed to have other things on her mind and lacked any thankfulness or gratefulness. Would she have behaved the same had I gotten her bag back after a knife fight with the robber?
I thought about the whole thing later and concluded that some people are just like that. Still, I would have done the same thing and wouldn't expect anything in return but I hope there are better appriciative people in this world.
Bar advice. It's good to help people if need be but if you're not sure and you feel you're in danger, my advice, abandon the idea. It's nice to be a hero, just don't be a dead one. Material things are not worth loosing your life over..
I thought it was just a girl having arguments with her guy or something but the last words I heard her was that her bag was been taken. I saw a guy head off with a white ladies bag in hand but he ran behind a bridge staircase and I thought that it was too late to do anything as I approached.
Fortunately, as he ran towards the main road he came across people that were walking by so he made a U-turn back toward the inner road which I was on. When he saw me he tried to hide the bag behind him but I had a slight glance of him before he dashed off so I knew he was the robber. He was about twenty feet from me when I pointed at him and said to drop the bag. He just raised his hand, palm open facing me, in jesture to tell me to mind my business but I repeated to drop the bag as he got closer. I clinched my fist at this point of time and I could see people standing at the road but did nothing. He looked at the best possible way to run from me and he ducked into the shop area to go around me but I followed and after a few chased steps he flung the bag at me. I did not continue the chase as the lady was there and got her bag back.
The lady was really good looking. She did have a bruised knee from the struggle but didn't want to call the police. I asked why she came through the ally to get to the road at that hour and she said because it was after work. She owns a advertising agency on that street. Then she goes to say that she never had anyone ever try to rob her with a knife. When I heard her say that I was shocked. I never saw a weapon and the robber never produced it when I stopped him. However, to know that my life may have been in danger was sobering. She said she was going to meet friends for a beeer and I told her that I was going to do the same thing. I offered to send her all the way there but she declined.
What was funny to me was the fact that she didn't want me to follow her or help her anymore and actaully said to me politely," you don't have to bring me as I can make it on my own". I asked, not her, what her name was and told her mine then parted ways with her at the corner of the street. This all happened after I was applauded by the people that saw the incident. For her, and her bruised knee, it seemed trivial. Unsure why?
Any appriciative person would be happy to make a new firend. Buy them a beer, get a number or be the first to ask the persons name. This lady seemed to have other things on her mind and lacked any thankfulness or gratefulness. Would she have behaved the same had I gotten her bag back after a knife fight with the robber?
I thought about the whole thing later and concluded that some people are just like that. Still, I would have done the same thing and wouldn't expect anything in return but I hope there are better appriciative people in this world.
Bar advice. It's good to help people if need be but if you're not sure and you feel you're in danger, my advice, abandon the idea. It's nice to be a hero, just don't be a dead one. Material things are not worth loosing your life over..
Little dragon's broken wing
My friend, the girl I call hot ass, came to the bar the other day. She said she fell on her knee at pole dancing practice and needed a small ice pack to put on. She then said that she had to strip down to her 'shorts' before applying it. A good thing that there were just a few customers there because when she took them off it was like underwear.
I thought that she had a shorts on but after the pants came off I was stunned. I assumed that she'd pull one out of the big bag that she normally carries but she just sat on the bar stool and took out a cigarette to smoke. Her other hand held the ice pack in place.
When I asked about the shorts she said that those were it. Confused, I asked what she meant as those looked like undergarments to me but she replied that in the dancing world it was shorts and they preformed in them. My heart liked them but my head told me that I had to do something about it. It seemed a little to inappropriate for the bar.
I got her to come into the bar counter and sit there so she'd be out of all other people's view. This was only till someone came up to the bar counter to pay then they got to see all of her. Those that did also started to ask her what happened but it was more of having a few minutes of extra glances at her than anything else.
I started to joke with her despite her pain with all the moaning she did and she sort of laughed and almost cried at the same time. I went on to say that she was the little dragon with a broken wing because of her zodiac sign. Interruptions by other customers didn't help either and the 'broken wing' was still hurting her.
To add fire to the fuel I said that my desire to catch a better glimpse of her 'hot ass' was finally fulfilled. She smiled when I showed her a picture I took of her from behind to capture her image. Later she called a friend to buy some bandages so it could be wrapped. The friend arrived half and hour later and was also surprised to see her inside the bar area half naked with me present.
After a while we took off the ice pack, let it return to normal temperature then I proceeded to bandage it. I gave her a Chinese liniment to apply first before wrapping the knee so it help to ease the pain. She then tells me that she was going down for more practice in the class below. This Aries/Dragon just could not sit too long.I got a couple of photos of her after that but I had to promise not to add them in this blog so it's not here.
The best part was when I messaged her about her knee, the next day, and got the reply that she was fine. Later that night she stopped by to say hi before heading down for salsa dance practice. What a girl.
Lesson of note is that when someone is comfortable with you they will place a trust in you that even if embarrassed or not they can count on your help. Trust handed to you must also be appreciated. This can be reversed in either a male or female situation.
Bar advice. Personally I think that one should rest an injury before doing more on it because if we tend to push too hard we may end up making it worse. Strong or not.
I thought that she had a shorts on but after the pants came off I was stunned. I assumed that she'd pull one out of the big bag that she normally carries but she just sat on the bar stool and took out a cigarette to smoke. Her other hand held the ice pack in place.
When I asked about the shorts she said that those were it. Confused, I asked what she meant as those looked like undergarments to me but she replied that in the dancing world it was shorts and they preformed in them. My heart liked them but my head told me that I had to do something about it. It seemed a little to inappropriate for the bar.
I got her to come into the bar counter and sit there so she'd be out of all other people's view. This was only till someone came up to the bar counter to pay then they got to see all of her. Those that did also started to ask her what happened but it was more of having a few minutes of extra glances at her than anything else.
I started to joke with her despite her pain with all the moaning she did and she sort of laughed and almost cried at the same time. I went on to say that she was the little dragon with a broken wing because of her zodiac sign. Interruptions by other customers didn't help either and the 'broken wing' was still hurting her.
To add fire to the fuel I said that my desire to catch a better glimpse of her 'hot ass' was finally fulfilled. She smiled when I showed her a picture I took of her from behind to capture her image. Later she called a friend to buy some bandages so it could be wrapped. The friend arrived half and hour later and was also surprised to see her inside the bar area half naked with me present.
After a while we took off the ice pack, let it return to normal temperature then I proceeded to bandage it. I gave her a Chinese liniment to apply first before wrapping the knee so it help to ease the pain. She then tells me that she was going down for more practice in the class below. This Aries/Dragon just could not sit too long.I got a couple of photos of her after that but I had to promise not to add them in this blog so it's not here.
The best part was when I messaged her about her knee, the next day, and got the reply that she was fine. Later that night she stopped by to say hi before heading down for salsa dance practice. What a girl.
Lesson of note is that when someone is comfortable with you they will place a trust in you that even if embarrassed or not they can count on your help. Trust handed to you must also be appreciated. This can be reversed in either a male or female situation.
Bar advice. Personally I think that one should rest an injury before doing more on it because if we tend to push too hard we may end up making it worse. Strong or not.
Harvest moon
A Harvest Moon appears brighter to the eye than any other full Moon. It's the closest full moon to the autumnal equinox, and a traditional symbol of benevolence and fertility. Farmers finished their work in the fields by the light of this Moon. Its appearance, usually toward the end of September(September 26, 2007), marks the beginning of the end of harvest season and the start of a new life cycle.
The symbolic meanings of the harvest moon have been celebrated throughout the ages and across cultures. Its significance as a harbinger of new beginnings hasn't diminished a bit even if harvest time these days is more a feeling than a literal event for most. Indeed, the crispness of autumn inspires a feeling of change and renewal, and the intense, gold-orange shine of the harvest moon seems to lend energy, strength and vitality to those of us basking in its glow!
What changes in your life will accompany the transition from summer to autumn? Take this advice if you're travelling. Weather has been really bad all over the world so take precaution and go online or check conditions before heading out or making plans. Nowadays its hard to know what dangers can happen. I personally think that the second half of the year will end up better. Things will iron out itself and people will start to make the change towrds the winter and Christmas joy. For the moment though, frolic this fall under the harvest Moon.
Bar advice. Keep that chin up. the year is still not over yet and things will become better soon. Belive it and will be.
The symbolic meanings of the harvest moon have been celebrated throughout the ages and across cultures. Its significance as a harbinger of new beginnings hasn't diminished a bit even if harvest time these days is more a feeling than a literal event for most. Indeed, the crispness of autumn inspires a feeling of change and renewal, and the intense, gold-orange shine of the harvest moon seems to lend energy, strength and vitality to those of us basking in its glow!
What changes in your life will accompany the transition from summer to autumn? Take this advice if you're travelling. Weather has been really bad all over the world so take precaution and go online or check conditions before heading out or making plans. Nowadays its hard to know what dangers can happen. I personally think that the second half of the year will end up better. Things will iron out itself and people will start to make the change towrds the winter and Christmas joy. For the moment though, frolic this fall under the harvest Moon.
Bar advice. Keep that chin up. the year is still not over yet and things will become better soon. Belive it and will be.
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