Girl. Guy and mother-in-law to be

This trio came to the bar and actually sat at the counter and begin talking about what was happening with their lives. They were there several hours and as they had more to drink, they also had more to say.

What would a guy say to his potential mother-in-law in front of his girlfriend? Of course he's going to be nice and all that. Do you think he's actually going to show a side that's going to have the girl's mother worried. The mother had come from Dubai where she staying with her husband who works there. They're all actually from England and her daughter called her over for a week.

I must admit that the mother seemed like a really nice, fun filled, adventurous and independent person. She is 53. Later I learnt that she had remarried after a divorce. This all came about after I talked to them about their horoscopes and Chinese zodiac signs. The guy didn't seem all that happy when I got to him and what his characteristics was like. That's because he's born in the tiger year and these guys can be very quiet but very aggressive when confronted of angered. He didn't like my advice to his girl either except the part when I said that they were actually quite suitable. The only problem they had was their horoscopes being the same.

As the night went on late, he started to flirt with the mother by saying things that bounced off my generalization of her. Things like the fact that the mother, although older, still had a fiery zest in life. Happy and desirable still to any man that walked into the place. He started picking up on these things and made remarks, jestingly in front of his girlfriend. I sensed that he was just trying to score points with her to get her to know and like him better.

No harm in that. However, when having a debate about something his girlfriend asked hypothetically, he lost it there and then because the mother was in support of her daughter and even I could tell that she thought he was wrong in certain things that was said. He seemed to give the impression that respect and loyalty were of the utmost importance. Love just fit in there. Also, he got upset about her pointing out that he gets upset when other guys talk to her and it's fine when he does it. It became all messy and frustrating. Thank goodness I played some nice tunes and both mother and daughter took to dancing for a while. Things settled down after that. They all left later. Huge bill and pissed.

Bar advice. Never talk or criticize about someone in front of another if you can't accept the naked truth about yourself either. We all got our flaws and shortcomings.

Stop taking baggage to bed.

You wash your face and brush your teeth, put on an alluring smile and hop into bed with your sweetie. Then start dragging your body image baggage under the covers with you.

For some people this means bringing a tiny speck of a change purse – for others it’s a designer handbag. For those who are the most consumed with their body image this could mean an entire set of monogrammed leather bags in various sizes or, worse, a giant garbage sack filled to the brim!

Where’s the room for a satisfying sex life with all of that?

The baggage consists of those destructive thoughts you have about the size of your thighs, the tone of your tummy, the amount of hair on your body. You worry that your partner will notice or worse, be completely repulsed by you.

If you drag all of those negative beliefs about your body into bed, they can wreak havoc with your sex life.

Unlike you, your partner is probably not thinking about your alleged “flaws” or 'shortcomings' as they are thinking about how much they want to make love to you, and be made love to in return.

They are turned on by the touch of your skin, your smell, your smile. Most of all they are excited by your confidence and openness and your willingness to be in bed with them in the first place!

If you are obsessed with parts of your body, this can have a negative impact on the quality of your sex life for you and your partner. Love-making is a way to bring a couple closer together but you can’t give yourself to the moment if you are constantly wondering what your partner is thinking about with regards to parts of your body. (It probably isn’t what you think!)

Take a moment before you hop into bed to put those fears and insecurities to rest. Your sweetie is waiting for you – ALL of you – to hop into bed. So look into that bathroom mirror, give yourself a 1000 watt smile and remember that it’s the whole package that’s delivered, not just parts.

Bar advice.Set that baggage outside the door, and hang up the 'Do Not Disturb' sign. You’ve got better things to think about!