How To Add Variety To Your Sex Life?

For the guys...

Lets talk about variety

Variety is the spice of life, and it is definitely a big one to transform your sex life!

So, how to add variety to your sex life?

Emotional Variety

This is the most important type of variety in sex. Some times you should go for a romantic experience. Start with a massage and spend loads of time with foreplay. Tell her how much you love her and how great it feels to make love to her. Other times you should give her the authoritative and dominant style. Playfully tear her clothes off getting in the door and talk dirty to her. Shake things it up! Don't give her the same emotional experience every time.

Fantasy 

Most guys don't have a problem with fantasy, especially since they are more likely to have seen porn online or seen magazines, etc but that is really fake. It's an industry that is driven on sexual stimulation combined with peoples sexual desire and curiosity that makes them money. So please don't think real women does what you've read or seen in porn. Some women might but that's not what should be applied here. 

Do you really understand how much (emotional) fantasy is involved in a woman's sex life? Women do and feel great if a guy can trigger this in the right way. Author Danielle Steele is the seventh best selling author of all time with 550 Million books sold because she knows how to turn a woman on emotionally.  If a woman picked up her book to read, they are immediately connected emotionally because she writes it that way. If guys can tap into this then your woman will be more into you.

Spontanaeity

Your sex life is dead in the water if it's just routine. Day in day out the same routine, time slot, sexual method, etc. Doom! There are many things one can do if you put your mind to it. If you're the sort that just takes her out once a week then go back and have your weekly romp in bed then it's all done and if this sounds like you...then you need to try some of these immediately!

• Wake her up with sex. (A slow morning approach before she wakes up. Fantastic!)
  
  
• Surprise her in the shower. (A woman likes privacy but intimacy and spontaneity wins)
  
  
• Pull over on the side of the highway and get it on in the car. (Simple and effective)
  
  
• Do it in the kitchen, the pool, the stairs, the back yard. (Sex around the house is fun)
  
  
• Take an afternoon off to do nothing but have sex. (Make sudden special time just for her)

Different Positions

I bet you thought when I mentioned variety earlier it meant different positions. Incredible sex isn't about putting her in the reverse upside down doggy style one night and the inverted spinning frogy style the next. Even the simple missionary style can be fulfilling if there is great connection on both emotional and physical levels. That being said, a little variety of positions can go a long way. By combining the emotional feed, fantasy and different approaches in your sex life, you can keep changing and making it exciting for both of you.

 Bar Advice. Where possible, sex should never be planned, made routine, or obligatory.

How To Make Him Think You're A Good Catch?

SO... How To Make Him Think You're A Good Catch? Let me tell you a simple secret about men. We CRAVE a woman who will let us adore her and who absolutely LOVES it when we do.

But that type of woman is really hard to find, believe it or not, and men have just as hard a time finding "The One". So if we ever DO find her, we want to KEEP her. She doesn't need to convince us, or talk us into it, or do a million nice little things for us. That would be great but for men, if they found "the girl", that's all they really desire. That's the kind of love you want too, right? I thought so.

So let me ask you this...

Do you know how to let a man see that you ARE that woman for him? That woman who will delight and inspire him like no other? The woman who will entice him to WILLINGLY give up his single freedom?

What do you think it is that makes us want to pursue ONLY you?

The way you kiss?
Being a great cook?
Pleasing towards our ego?

NOPE! It's much more subtle than that. It's all about using your innate feminine energy that drives a man absolutely wild with desire.

So lets say you've finally met a man you really like and can see yourself having a relationship with him. You should make an effort to show him you're a real great find, right? Actually, no. The fantastic thing about being a woman is that getting a man to see how wonderful you are doesn't involve any effort at all. In fact, putting effort into trying to get or keep a man will end up pushing him away. If you've ever had a man seem very interested in you at first only to suddenly become distant and pull away, this could be the reason why.

Showing a man you're someone he wants to get closer to requires the opposite. It's all about simply being, not doing. When you meet a great guy, you often try to do, do, do whatever you can to make him see what a great catch you are. Probably even go out of our way to do things for a man, plan outings together, and sometimes even say yes to things he wants that go against what you want.

You can't convince a man to fall in love. But you can lead him there by connecting to his heart. One of the most powerful ways to do this is to let yourself be guided by your feminine energy rather than your masculine. Feminine energy is about being instead of doing. When you focus on simply being in the moment and enjoying a man's company and attention, you automatically shift your vibe so that he can step into the masculine role. To do that, you must first be open to receive.

Inspiring a man to see you as "the woman" he wants to be with forever is all about you being able to receive love. Men fall in love when they give to you, not because of how much you give them or do for them. When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, gifts, and always go out of your way to drive to his place, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you. It may backfire because he, as a man, feels he should be the one doing all that instead.

When you're open to receiving from a man, you're sending a message that you value yourself. You believe you're worthy of his time, attention, little gestures, and ultimately his love. So resist the temptation to prove your worth by giving, and instead create the space for him to give to you.

Men are competitive creatures who value what they have to work hard to get. You can call it the trill of the chase. If he gets a sense that you're completely devoted to him with very little investment on his part, he'll question your value. Do not give away exclusivity to a man until you have the commitment you want from him. Instead, you keep dating and meeting lots of different men so that you give yourself a chance to find out what you really want and need from a relationship. At the same time, you aren't prematurely cutting yourself off from your Mr. Right in case you haven't met him yet!

When you keep the focus on yourself and keep yourself open to other men, you send the message loud and clear that you're a woman who puts herself first and that you are a prize. This elevates your "degree of difficulty" so he has to step up his game to get you all to himself...or risk another guy beating him to it.

The most important thing to remember when you're dating a man and want him to realize how wonderful you are is to put your happiness first. Just one piece of caution. He may get tired doing all the chasing so you need to allow him to actually catch you in the end or you'll end up alone as no man will be able to do any catching. So..how to be irresistible to the opposite sex?

By letting him know you have a life outside of him actually makes him more attracted to you. Not just because you're not about to drop everything for him, but because people who are passionate about their interests are interesting people! It might feel a little scary to do this with a guy you really like, but the right guy will gladly rearrange his plans to see you. Why? Because you've just proven you're a great catch he has to woo and win.

When you try to convince a man that you're a great catch, you end up giving off a "needy" vibe that actually dampens his attraction for you. Having to "prove" yourself makes him think that you don't have a solid sense of self. But when you focus on yourself rather than on HIM, it automatically conveys that you are a great catch. His interest will be captivated by you.

Bar Advice. Your strong self-esteem is intriguing to him. He'll see it and want to win you over.

Remembering Marilyn Monroe 50 Years On

Norma Jeane Baker

Marilyn Monroe is being remembered all over the world after her 50th death anniversary on 5th August 1962. Norma Jean Baker (originally Norma Jeane Mortenson) was only 36 when she died of questionable circumstance at the height of her career. It is still debated on the ruling of probable suicide from acute barbiturate poisoning. Till today, and after much written about her, no one can end the debate on what really happened.

We all remember Elton John's ode to her in his song Candle In The Wind. It was also one of Princess Diana's favorite tunes and oddly was later redone by Elton at Diana's funeral. Marilyn is one of those iconic figures that everyone looking at her picture will know this bombshell instantly.  I remember seeing her in many of the old black and white films like  Bus Stop / How to Marry a Millionaire / There's No Business Like Show Business / Gentlemen Prefer Blondes / The Seven Year Itch / The Final Days. They were, and still are for many, some best loved movies ever made. 


I was wondering, what if someone had a babe like Marilyn on their arm? Fact is, many people who knew her said she was sometimes very childlike and even ignorant of those trying to take advantage of her. She, like every other girl at the time and even today, was looking to be in Hollywood as a star. Probably she never imagined herself as huge as she became that even all the US military guys during the war had her as one of their favourite pin up girls in their barracks.

There is a collection of written artifacts, letters, notes to herself, and even poems in Marilyn’s own handwriting along with rarely seen intimate photos and you can find it in the book Fragments.

Marilyn Monroe

All I feel is, Marilyn Monroe was and always will be a Hollywood legend and a star icon that was loved by guys all over and idolized by many ladies. It would not be the same movies without her cast in it and her performance in them. She was a delight to look at and I believe most people genuinely felt good vibes of that brilliant smile and the little mole on the cheek. Although married and divorced 3 times in her life, she was the ultimate sex symbol of her time. After her death her second husband, legendary baseball player, Joe DiMaggio claimed her body and arranged her funeral. For 20 years, he had a half dozen red roses delivered to her crypt three times a week. Now that's love.

So as we remember Marilyn Monroe in the many wonderful ways and devastating and suspicious end, may the next 50 years be filled with dazzle and intrigue. Even in death she can still make headlines. I choose to remember her as the desirable and beautiful woman I saw on screen and on the photos galore of her everywhere.

Bar Advice. In loving memory of the sensuous and ultimate hottie in my book, Marilyn Monroe.

Olympics Gold Medal Event - Sex

The Olympics gold medal event is a daily occurrence we see in the 16 days of glory when an athlete is on top form, performs well and is at peak. Yes, we love to see a winner and so do the athletes themselves. With all that toned, firm and sexy looking babes and hunks in the Olympic village, its a wonder anyone gets any sleep. It seems there is lots of sex at the Olympic village.

Every time 10000 athletes are placed in the village and it becomes a party zone like Las Vegas. Even former swim star Susan Summers said "What happens in the village, stays in the village". Can you really blame them? After all, throw a party with beautiful, young, and in this case healthy, energetic people in one place and you are bound to attract someones eye or whatever body part you prefer.

This year in particular, unprecedented, all nations have female athletes sent to the games. This wasn't the case before especially from Muslim nations but this year everyone's included. So its truly a mash of every guy or girl from every nation looking at everyone in one single place. So now the Olympic village sex London party is in full gear

So how did all this news about Olympic village sex come about?  Well it seems that stories have arisen from past Olympians and the athletes spill details of dirty secrets of Olympic village that happened. What's that? Yes, one on one sexual encounters and even orgies have been mentioned. In fact, thousands of free condoms will be available. Organizers have heard enough about village antics from previous games to know there will be heavy demand by athletes for contraception.

With so many beautiful people in one spot, can you blame them? In the end its memories of a lifetime and everyone is human. Most have never even stepped out of their own countries, let alone seen people of different races or culture up close and personal. It's going to be memorable this summer games.

Bar Advice. Stronger, Higher, Faster may mean different things to some. LOL.

Why A Man Pulls Away From A Woman?

A little help for the ladies in this one. I'm going to reveal to you why a man pulls away from a woman and what to do to bring him close to you again. Imagine attracting a man emotionally and intellectually in such a way that he absolutely can't resist wanting to be around you.

Not only that, but imagine all the obstacles and excuses falling away. No more "I'm too busy" or "I have to work through some issues." The only thing he'll know is his desire to be with you. If you finally want to feel this secure in a relationship, then you need to check out specific ways to subtly communicate to a man the things that will trigger that intense level of attraction inside him.

You can literally have a man who wasn't totally "feeling it" for you to suddenly take notice, see and recognize the things inside you he simply didn't look for or see before. You will need to turn up the dial on the level of attraction a man feels and experiences with you on both a physical and emotional level. You may begin seeing some amazing changes in your love life right away and feel the kind of confidence and security with a man that you've never experienced before. But, it may not start off like that initially. So, how to make him think you're a good catch?

Wouldn't it be great to know for sure that your man was going to take you in his arms and let you know  without a doubt that he wants you and only you? Wouldn't it be amazing never to have to worry again that he is losing interest when he becomes distant or that you've done something wrong? It's entirely possible when you understand the reasons a man has for acting distant and what to do about it when he does.

A man will seem really excited to be with you, he'll ask you out, maybe even bring you flowers, call all the time, and then... Bang! Something shifts. He pulls back. He stops making plans like he used to and you start to feel like you did something wrong or that he doesn't like you as much any more. Doubt and insecurity creeps in.

Here's an insight about men that's fascinating and strange and that once you understand it is going to stop a lot of the pain and frustration you experience with dating and relationships. When a man gets truly close to a woman and deeply intimate for any extended period of time, he loves that feeling and wants more of it. But the strange part of this is that the moment a man experiences this period of intense closeness, he will take some space for himself. I know this sounds counter intuitive, but it's how most men work emotionally. Most guys will actually seek some amount of space to "recover". It's kind of like how after a muscle gets worked out it needs to rest before it can grow stronger and be active again. An extreme example would be a groom not showing up for his wedding.

Men can become distant even in good relationships and if you know what to do, you can keep your guy physically and emotionally engaged...even when he needs so called time to recover. There's also another reason why a man might withdraw that has nothing whatsoever to do with you. He's not living his "purpose".

It's important for a man to be clear about what he's doing in his own life and what his purpose is. A man's purpose can be anything from something as straight forward like excelling at his career or building his own company, to something more creative like starting and working a project at home or training at his favorite sport. The point is that men have goals and are engaged and focused on doing something and doing it well. A man's purpose is essential to his overall emotional and social well being. But often times, even men themselves aren't clear on what their purpose is or don't really go after their purpose and assert themselves. They can also be lost in a sense of an incomplete life.

 When a man isn't going after his own purpose, or has fallen away from it or forgotten about it, it often gets in the way of the strained relationship he's in. Men become withdrawn, restless, irritated and seem generally unengaged in life as a whole. Not forgetting, he may have parents that nag him or constantly remind him of his dream or objective or goal he had set and not done it yet. All due to you! So this added pressure, dealing with you and everyone else, causes them to take a step back.

They stop initiating plans. They stop spending as much time with people. Even their own friends. They shut the world out. Of course, they become emotionally withdrawn and distant as well. Too often men aren't conscious that this is what's happening to them and they end up pulling away from their relationship and making things even worse for themselves. This is when they often seem to go in and out of being present and
engaged in the relationship, and then completely withdrawn. 

Often women take on the problems the man is going through and try and help or even mistake his behavior to mean his feelings is about them or the relationship. So now that you know that a man's withdrawing is not automatically your fault, what can you do about it?

When you're with a man who is feeling or acting uncertain with you, trying to convince him otherwise puts you in a very dangerous and weak position for your relationship even if you give him an ultimatum that would move things ahead to the place in your relationship that you want. Why? Because he's not really making that decision based on what he wants or feels. What you really want and need is a man who is truly committed to being with you on a physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual level. Not coerced, not forced, not convinced. He needs to come to his own realization of everything.

If you're like most women, then you think sharing your feelings with a man first will somehow get him to share his feelings in return.  But this isn't how it works for a man. You can share your feelings with a man, but to expect that this will encourage him to do the same with you will only lead you to unnecessary frustration, especially if a man is already acting withdrawn. When a man acts withdrawn, that's a signal that he is undergoing his own emotional process and needs time to recharge. Once he's ready to share his feelings, he'll be back. But trying to stimulate him to do so by becoming overly emotional won't work. Most guys never experience a good relationship so they are thrown into the deep and even if they know how to swim, they feel paralyzed.

Women tend to think that if things are going well with a guy, that he will naturally want to move things forward to the next level. They'll just assume this even when the guy has never talked about the future. Woman created all these expectations about what the relationship was supposed to look like and how he was supposed to behave and when he fell short of that, she becomes disappointed and unfulfilled. This usually winds up in a confrontation that causes tension and maybe even creates more distance.

What you need to do first, before you do anything else, is get clear about what you want and expect from your love life. You need to be honest with yourself first before you can be honest with anyone else in your life. Stop pretending you only want a casual, fun fling when what you really want is to have committed, serious relationship that's going somewhere.


Now, let's get down to what's really going on when it comes to men and relationships.

Here's the thing, get clear about what you want. Guide your mind in all kinds of positive directions to help you find and attract the right situations and people in your life. Accepting a situation that is anything other than what you truly want will not only make you unhappy, it will keep you tied to a man who's not right for you. So really ask yourself what kind of relationship you want before you become involved with a man. It's OK to want what you want and to let a man know it. In fact, it's a must. And it's OK to tell a man that his behavior doesn't match with what you want.

Guys crave honest women who are up front about who they are and what they want in relationships. In a way that says that she's not too attached to the immediate outcome and subtlety lets him know that he better have his act together, or else. He suddenly sees you as "one of the guys". A buddy that he can talk to. Remember, most guys are not able to pick up on your complex girly thinking but when you keep it simple, send the message out like one of his friends...then he gets it. Simple right?

You'll not only move closer to the relationship you want, but you'll weed out the guys who can't give you that in the process. This is the critical key to inspiring a man to be close to you again. Actually allow yourself to be open and vulnerable. This is the space that you will actually receive love from your man and to do this requires that you actually take a step back so that a man can come towards you and start giving you his love and attention.  If you don't leave this space, you will keep filling the space, and he will not step forward. That means you let go of the need to control what happens next and give him the chance to adjust, call, make plans with you or initiate affection.

When you back off like this, a man will firstly be caught off guard and pleasantly surprised as he probably hasn't had this happen with a woman before. Once he gets over this, he'll realize that he actually needs less time away from you, because you're not going to hold it against him.

Remember:, a man can't read your mind, or know all that's in your heart. If you're carrying around pain or fear, it's surely getting in the way of him seeing that beautiful and real you underneath that he would want to know and love.

Bar Advice. Make it easy for him and it will change for you.

Sexual Aura

There's this really strange, mystical and invisible aura that surrounds those that are projecting their sexual side. People, both men and women, all have it but there are those that just have it a little more than others.

A lot of these unique individuals don't even realize that they are doing anything out of the ordinary. Have you ever sensed everyone looking at you when you enter a room? Most women have some sort of natural radar so to speak, that tells them a guy is paying 'extra' attention to them. There are times also where she will feel uncomfortable when someone she doesn't fancy is eying her. The one that that really gets to me sometimes is when her modesty button kicks in and she tries not to make eye contact with a guy that she knows like her but holds back too much. What's that all about? If you like someone you should indicate so. Playing hard to get can end up making you and old maid.

Guys on the other hand are totally different. Since prehistoric days women seem to be more attentive to the 'brute'. If the guy is macho and personifies a tough, strong image then he's probably going to be with a lot of girls. The women that want this sort of guy will only wish that he's got a sensitive side as well. How are they suppose to take him to see mummy if he's doesn't?

Some women like the guy a little timid because they don't like domineering guys. Some prefer chubby fellows because they feel that he won't be too attractive to other women. Guys also like women less pretty so that their chances are higher in getting her. Lot of guys also feel that someone less attractive will not have too much wants and needs. Both women and men who have trouble getting a partner are more prone to living a single life than marrying someone they are not sure about.

The thing about the sexual aura is that the individual must desire for another person to enter their life. You don't go putting on your nice clothes, combing your hair, wearing nice shoes and go out only to come home to your parents house and family dog, right? When you're putting yourself out there for the whole world to see, you got to 'want' someone to take notice. Flirt a little if necessary. Make eye contact. Your seduction success depends on a variant of factors. Flaunt what you got. Make someone take notice to the point that the other person really wants to know you better. You need to focus on your 'intention' of getting someone in your life and only than can it happen.

There are lot of individuals out there that know this little 'secret' already. They just have it and they use this sexual aura to their favour. It's easy for them to be able to get anyone they want. Some women can make men turn their heads even if the guy is walking on the street with another woman. Guys can bring out a smile from a girl on the other side of the room and flirt with her twenty feet away with her not taking her eyes off him. The power of this sexual aura can also be sensed by the same gender at that present moment. By this I mean that another woman or man can sense that energy off the person that is personifying it.

These individuals are normally envied by others because other people want that type of charisma. End of the day, some people have it and some don't. However, it doesn't mean you have none and good news is, you can pick it up just by being around others. Observe these people and you'll see that even the slightest gesture, in many cases none at all, will draw attraction towards them.

Bar Advice. Finding someone is hard enough. Getting them or just their attention is more difficult unless you desire it in your aura.

Constant Fighting With Your Partner

What can be the true cause of the constant fighting with your partner? Is there a value you dislike? Something they do that drives you crazy each time?  Lack of money? Comparison of past relationships keeps coming up? Ever think your personal issues may be the reason?

Your internal conflict can spill outwards and create relationship problems. A fine example is not feeling worthy of true love but wanting to be accepted.  Feeling unloved can lead people to doubt in their partner’s love towards them. Like trying to validate what is there or they are unable to accept or feel the love that their partner shows because of some unknown subconscious issues.

Basically anything their partner says or does that confirms this unfounded belief will hit them to the core and rekindle past memories that may be the main cause. Often resulting in the conclusion that their partner does not love them. It then feels totally true to them because it triggers that belief internally of being unlovable. This may not necessarily be with a previous partner. It could go back to when they were a child and witnessed disaster in their parents relationship or they were not loved like in most families.

Sadly there is a belief that if they get out of an bad relationship that they will be happy. Then later they find themselves in the same situation with someone else. This adds to their train of thought that no one cares or loves them enough or even prevents them from being with anyone again. Fact is, you cant run away from yourself and you need to see that you could be the problem. No one likes to see themselves as the issue but if more people checked themselves, less fighting will occur.  With all that in mind, remember, finding a soul mate is already hard itself.

If you examine your self defeating beliefs that are blocking your happiness things could change dramatically. Talk about the problem with your partner or get professional help even. Change your beliefs and change those that are not serving you then your relationships will begin to heal.

Bar Advice. Your partner will see a new beginning in your changed approach in the relationship and even they will change and you will see things in a different prospective in your life.

Teenage Girl Falls To Her Death

I was on Facebook when I can across the Yahoo news headline-Teenage girl falls to her death at Ang mo kio. The funny thing was, I had seen her profile before as friend of friends, but I didn't know her personally. She was a really sweet Japanese mixed Chinese girl. If you read the sad story of her suicide, as two notes were left behind, you will find it was due to a strained relationship with her boyfriend. 

Just by reading a few entries in her blog, I felt she was under pressure to be more successful in her studies and she personally  beat herself up about her failures. 

Reading more of her blog entries and that her boyfriend never liked being in photos with her and she asking if it was abnormal, says to me, the relationship seemed more one sided in the love department than meets the eye.

Any guy, in their right mind, would be proud to have this smiling beauty by their side and take as many photos she likes to post so others will know she's "taken". The yahoo news article reported she indicated in her Facebook post that most of their on/off relationship was mostly due to his controlling nature.


Let me address this. Being controlled in a relationship is like a slow disease growing that no one sees and even the one that has it happening to them, does nothing but hope it changes. Unfortunately, it mostly ends in either major heartache, pain, tears and rare tragedy, as in this case.


Being young in love, in lust, whatever, is a normal thing that happens all around the world but is it worth taking your own life to end a hurting heart? Especially when the person doing it to you just wants to make you feel worthless and small. Wake up! You are your own person. If someone else cannot appreciate you for who you are, why remain in the relationship? Obviously you got to check your own part in it all but your personality and character is what makes you unique and You! If the other has their own insecurities about their life and the relationship, then they are the ones with a problem.  


I felt sad when I looked at that cheerful face in the photo and read how Krystal Aki Mizoguchi  took her life for something that maybe she was too young to be able to handle or find advice. Her separated parents didn't help as a model of relationship success either. Perhaps even peers could not help as they too may have been in a seemingly similar dilemma or simply they were not able to give advice, let alone read the signs. Perhaps a really close friend may have know all about her worries, fears, pain and turmoil but as we all know by now...it's all too late. R.I.P Krystal!


Bar Advice. Learn from this you young people. Learn!