Thomas Edison hardly slept at all, except in 20-minute naps. Mark Twain was noted for his insomnia, but was always dozing off at public functions. So what's the relationship or the secret between 40 winks of nap time and a person's creativity?
Scientists have proven in recent years that the human body requires only as much sleep as the brain will allow it. In other words, so long as the brain is functioning at full capacity, there's no great requirement for sleep. The big thing is that the brain needs a rest every now and then, and apparently, the brain can refresh itself and go on "like with a full tank of gas" with just a short, 20 minute nap.
Regardless of all the relaxation techniques that are popular today, sleep is still the most refreshing and healthful relaxation of all to most people. Even so, the quick 40 winks between appointments or meetings can refresh and rejuvenate almost anyone as much as 8 hours of sleep.
Throughout history, busy, pressured men have all shared in the ability to take a break from whatever the problems of the moment were, in order to refresh themselves with a short nap. For problem solvers, trouble-shooters, writers and other people doing creative or intellectual work, the benefits of a short 20 minute nap can be similar to a transfusion of blood plasma.
These short 20 minute naps for people who are really engrossed in their work, almost always provide a fresh burst of new ideas and energy. They tend to eliminate the need for caffeine boosts during the workday. And, they guarantee a reserve of energy so that the working day isn't followed by an evening in which he falls asleep on the couch watching TV or at a social event.
To take advantage of the mental rejuvenation benefits inherent in a 20 minute nap, all you need is an uninterrupted 20 minutes. If you're working in an office, take your phone off the hook or disconnect it from the wall plug. Hang a sign on your door and instruct your secretary that you're not to be disturbed for 20 minutes. A couch to lie down on would be fine, but if you've not got a couch handy, simply stretch out on the floor.
When you lie down to take a nap, you should loosen your shoes, your belt and your tie. Basically, it's best if you lie on your back and cross your arms across your chest.
You shouldn't concentrate on it, nor worry about falling asleep. First off, you'll be resting and that alone will give you the new energy you need. If your brain needs a rest as well, you'll soon fall asleep.
It's all right to think about specific business problems while you're still in the resting stage, but you must not allow yourself to get up and deal with them if answers come to you before your 20 minute nap period is up. As much as you can, you should try to direct your thoughts to non work ideas while you're resting. In other words, you might think about the things you intend to do when you get home from work.
You might mentally play a round of golf on your favorite course. Imagine watching your golf swing and correcting your problems. Besides relaxing you, these reveries provide the extra dividend of actually helping you to improve you own skills. mental preparation accounts for a great deal of one's skill in sports, and this kind, which you accomplish while you're relaxing, can pay off big time. Learn to ignore whatever noises there are and just tell yourself that these are noises of the atmosphere and do not relate to you. See them as a part of your environment, and not as irritants.
To be sure that you wake up at the end of 20 minutes, set an alarm or tell your secretary to wake you at the end of your rest period. Once you've practiced settling down and resting for 20 minutes at a time, you'll be able to wake yourself just before the alarm goes off or your secretary rouses you.
Attempting to sleep for 30 minutes or even an hour, will leave you feeling groggy rather than refreshed. There is nothing wrong however, with taking several 20 minute naps at different intervals throughout an especially long or tiring workday. The important thing to remember is that you can gain new energy and new creativity by resting and napping when you feel low on energy or as if you're running out of ideas.
As you awaken from your nap, you should lie still for a minute or two then stretch and breathe deeply. Take your time in getting up. Adjust your clothing and take a drink of water to get your system going again. Then, return to work, starting with simple chores such as opening letters or organizing the work you have to do. Within just a few minutes you should feel full of energy and able to handle any problem as it comes up.
With practice you'll be able refresh and rejuvenate your entire mental system with a short 20 minute nap. The important thing is to recognize when you need one to handle the problems at hand, and then to avail yourself of them. Total relaxation, complete physical and mental rest, and then a whole new burst of energy and creativity as the result.
Bar advice. Give it a try for yourself and see if you aren't amazed at the results.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
Holidays and today
You are most likely dealing with holiday rush at the moment and are probably feeling a bit stressed with the added responsibilities, activities, and expectations of the season. That's why I want to focus on the topic of holidays. Holidays are opportunities for us to celebrate cultural, communal, and personal occasions such as historical events, spiritual practices, ancestry, community, family, co-workers, loved ones, and much more.
These times, which are primarily associated with happy feelings and pleasant activities, are important to us. They help us to celebrate life! However, the downside of holidays is that we limit our celebration of gifts, flowers, and special declarations of friendship and love to those dedicated days of the year only! Isn't it worthwhile to celebrate life with people on a daily basis?
My question is, why do we have to wait for a holiday in order to honor our life and those we share it with? Why not send flowers or give that special gift to someone you care about just because you feel like it? How about sending a friendly card or cheerful email to someone you are close with or someone you want to reach out to? You could take a moment to say hello or smile at someone on the street or someone you come in contact with? These personal moments can be very enriching for all involved even when it's not the holiday period.
Remember also that it's not just all those nice "things". Meeting up with someone, taking time to go visit someone, catching up with old friends or being attentive to your busy partners needs can be just as important. Your special someone needs you to be the thoughtful and considerate being all year round. Sometimes hard to juggle but doing more places you in better light.
However, taking the time to make your daily life special shouldn't be limited to just doing something nice with others. It is equally important for you to do something nice for yourself on a regular basis, whether it's a walk in the park or a long hot bath, a spa treatment or even just a break from thinking about daily worries and stress. The time you spend treating yourself well will give you a happier, healthier, and more peaceful outlook.
I hope that all this will help you to put the current holiday craziness into perspective. After all, this time should be about togetherness, giving, and rejoicing but let's remember that we don't have to wait for a set occasion to do this. You can do something special for yourself and for someone around you any time you feel the need. We all deserve the benefits of a festive holiday, any day, any time the spirit moves us.
Bar advice. The holidays and today can be the same thing rolled into one. May this help you to obtain peace of mind and heart and to light the holiday spirit in your life for yourself and those around you.
These times, which are primarily associated with happy feelings and pleasant activities, are important to us. They help us to celebrate life! However, the downside of holidays is that we limit our celebration of gifts, flowers, and special declarations of friendship and love to those dedicated days of the year only! Isn't it worthwhile to celebrate life with people on a daily basis?
My question is, why do we have to wait for a holiday in order to honor our life and those we share it with? Why not send flowers or give that special gift to someone you care about just because you feel like it? How about sending a friendly card or cheerful email to someone you are close with or someone you want to reach out to? You could take a moment to say hello or smile at someone on the street or someone you come in contact with? These personal moments can be very enriching for all involved even when it's not the holiday period.
Remember also that it's not just all those nice "things". Meeting up with someone, taking time to go visit someone, catching up with old friends or being attentive to your busy partners needs can be just as important. Your special someone needs you to be the thoughtful and considerate being all year round. Sometimes hard to juggle but doing more places you in better light.
However, taking the time to make your daily life special shouldn't be limited to just doing something nice with others. It is equally important for you to do something nice for yourself on a regular basis, whether it's a walk in the park or a long hot bath, a spa treatment or even just a break from thinking about daily worries and stress. The time you spend treating yourself well will give you a happier, healthier, and more peaceful outlook.
I hope that all this will help you to put the current holiday craziness into perspective. After all, this time should be about togetherness, giving, and rejoicing but let's remember that we don't have to wait for a set occasion to do this. You can do something special for yourself and for someone around you any time you feel the need. We all deserve the benefits of a festive holiday, any day, any time the spirit moves us.
Bar advice. The holidays and today can be the same thing rolled into one. May this help you to obtain peace of mind and heart and to light the holiday spirit in your life for yourself and those around you.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Bringing her over
Bringing her over once you're ready is a little hard. Guys that live with parents are going to make her feel uncomfortable if she has to go over. It's already awkward with you as an individual.
Now remember this. Have your place ready for a lady. This doesn't mean you need some insane "hip hop star" love pad with the potion of seduction enveloping every little item and cranny. What this means is you need your place presentable at every moment. Do you have old socks or pizza boxes hanging around? Would you bring a girl back to your pad, given its current state? If the answer is no, you need to work on that spatial hygiene. Now you don't need to be able to eat off the floor, but you do need your bathroom to not repel with its smell, your floor to be visible, and your general organization to be a cut above other guys she's been with.
Go too far and you look a bit like a neat freak but that's far better than looking like a slob. The worst stereotype about neat men is they aren't interested in ladies and hopefully, you'll be able to prove to your targeted woman that isn't true within a few moments. However, if you manage to elicit a lady's disgust factor (everyone has theirs, although generally, the closer you get to the toilet, the higher the risk) you can ruin a night's worth of work. So, take the time. Keep your place clean. Always. You never know when opportunity will present itself. Be a boy scout and be ready. If you have a small place it's a bit easier. Hopefully this girl is not so materialistic but just wants you for who you are.
Be clean in every way take care of your own hygiene. You'd be surprised how often bad breath is the date breaker. In fact, an offending smell is one of the most unattractive things known to humanity. Chances are at some time or other in your own past it ended what would have been a beneficial connection. So, considering we lose any sense or our own scent very quickly, it's best to play it safe. Assume you smell awful, and take the necessary precautions. Have a bath. Bring along some sort of breath saver. If you sweat, wash, and if you can't wash, deodorize. Aftershave, used in moderation can be a Godsend. Basically don't have any reeking smell in the house or with yourself. Being a woman she understands you're a "guy" and that will happen but she can't stand a guy not bothering to make some effort to help himself.
As far as fashion goes, you don't need to be straight off a Paris runway. In fact, unless you have talent in this area, simple is the best way to keep it. A nice pair of slacks and a plain black shirt is plenty as long as you wear it with confidence. Flashier things can get some attention but before putting them on you want to be sure it isn't the wrong kind. Simple is fine. Really. Just look clean and fresh and you'll have no problems.
Create the attraction, be playful and fun and extend your time. This can mean getting a number or email, shifting your locale, or any of a million other things. The main purpose here is not to bring a woman to bed, but merely to attract her. All you need be concerned with is getting her interested enough that she wants to spend more time with you. Best to do it with your relaxed and playful attitude, but if time is short, just get a number with little more than confident politeness. Don't worry about what comes later. Just get her interested in you to begin. Lead her in some direction in your life. This can happen at the same time, or at a later date.
If things are going well at this point you can shift quickly into physical contact, but at the least you should start introducing familiarities like hand holding and relaxed touching. You're building to a later point here, so don't try to take more than is being offered. You'll get turned down and likely lose a number of points and digging yourself into a deep hole. Just concentrate on establishing and strengthening your connection here. Again, that should be your only priority. If you really want to sleep with this girl, fine. That comes later. Stay focused on your contact with the lady. The rest will follow successfully. You got to first make sure the lady is into you. What do you do then? BRING HER HOME.
Her place or yours. Whichever works with the seed you've created earlier. Once you get her there, don't rush things. She's already basically said she's interested in going further, but push too fast or you'll turn her off and undo all the good you did earlier. Instead, take your time here. In fact, if you wait just a little bit longer than she's comfortable with, or play hard to get yourself, that's even more powerful. Turn up the heat all you need now is the transition to physical connection. If she starts heating up as well then you're on your way (you lucky dog) for some hot sex that night. You can probably tell because she'll be moaning or making some sexual sounds at every touch. Take that as calls from her to come in and that it's alright with her.
Bar advice. Bringing her over can be a job all in itself but the reward is if she stays the night(sex and all) you can blame the mess in the house on her as well.
Now remember this. Have your place ready for a lady. This doesn't mean you need some insane "hip hop star" love pad with the potion of seduction enveloping every little item and cranny. What this means is you need your place presentable at every moment. Do you have old socks or pizza boxes hanging around? Would you bring a girl back to your pad, given its current state? If the answer is no, you need to work on that spatial hygiene. Now you don't need to be able to eat off the floor, but you do need your bathroom to not repel with its smell, your floor to be visible, and your general organization to be a cut above other guys she's been with.
Go too far and you look a bit like a neat freak but that's far better than looking like a slob. The worst stereotype about neat men is they aren't interested in ladies and hopefully, you'll be able to prove to your targeted woman that isn't true within a few moments. However, if you manage to elicit a lady's disgust factor (everyone has theirs, although generally, the closer you get to the toilet, the higher the risk) you can ruin a night's worth of work. So, take the time. Keep your place clean. Always. You never know when opportunity will present itself. Be a boy scout and be ready. If you have a small place it's a bit easier. Hopefully this girl is not so materialistic but just wants you for who you are.
Be clean in every way take care of your own hygiene. You'd be surprised how often bad breath is the date breaker. In fact, an offending smell is one of the most unattractive things known to humanity. Chances are at some time or other in your own past it ended what would have been a beneficial connection. So, considering we lose any sense or our own scent very quickly, it's best to play it safe. Assume you smell awful, and take the necessary precautions. Have a bath. Bring along some sort of breath saver. If you sweat, wash, and if you can't wash, deodorize. Aftershave, used in moderation can be a Godsend. Basically don't have any reeking smell in the house or with yourself. Being a woman she understands you're a "guy" and that will happen but she can't stand a guy not bothering to make some effort to help himself.
As far as fashion goes, you don't need to be straight off a Paris runway. In fact, unless you have talent in this area, simple is the best way to keep it. A nice pair of slacks and a plain black shirt is plenty as long as you wear it with confidence. Flashier things can get some attention but before putting them on you want to be sure it isn't the wrong kind. Simple is fine. Really. Just look clean and fresh and you'll have no problems.
Create the attraction, be playful and fun and extend your time. This can mean getting a number or email, shifting your locale, or any of a million other things. The main purpose here is not to bring a woman to bed, but merely to attract her. All you need be concerned with is getting her interested enough that she wants to spend more time with you. Best to do it with your relaxed and playful attitude, but if time is short, just get a number with little more than confident politeness. Don't worry about what comes later. Just get her interested in you to begin. Lead her in some direction in your life. This can happen at the same time, or at a later date.
If things are going well at this point you can shift quickly into physical contact, but at the least you should start introducing familiarities like hand holding and relaxed touching. You're building to a later point here, so don't try to take more than is being offered. You'll get turned down and likely lose a number of points and digging yourself into a deep hole. Just concentrate on establishing and strengthening your connection here. Again, that should be your only priority. If you really want to sleep with this girl, fine. That comes later. Stay focused on your contact with the lady. The rest will follow successfully. You got to first make sure the lady is into you. What do you do then? BRING HER HOME.
Her place or yours. Whichever works with the seed you've created earlier. Once you get her there, don't rush things. She's already basically said she's interested in going further, but push too fast or you'll turn her off and undo all the good you did earlier. Instead, take your time here. In fact, if you wait just a little bit longer than she's comfortable with, or play hard to get yourself, that's even more powerful. Turn up the heat all you need now is the transition to physical connection. If she starts heating up as well then you're on your way (you lucky dog) for some hot sex that night. You can probably tell because she'll be moaning or making some sexual sounds at every touch. Take that as calls from her to come in and that it's alright with her.
Bar advice. Bringing her over can be a job all in itself but the reward is if she stays the night(sex and all) you can blame the mess in the house on her as well.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Breaking up at the holiday period
For couples, the romantic pressure can be intense. If that romance and happiness isn't truly felt, then staying together just for the sake of the holidays can feel dishonest and a breakup may be the best course in the long run .
For those suffering heart break during the season of peace, love and joy, there are ways to do it gracefully. It's not going to be painless for either party, but by preparing yourself and doing your best to preserve your dignity and your partner's, you can get through it. Here's some ways.
Arrange for a time when you know you won't be disturbed and a quiet place to meet. Do not choose a public place. Respect your partner's dignity by meeting with them in a location where they can be free to express their emotions. Just doing it on the phone is not a good way. The face to face way tells them that you're sorry it isn't working out.
Let your partner know ahead of time there is something important you want to talk about, so they'll be able to psychologically prepare.
It's good to begin with or include the positives of the relationship. Let your partner know what their good qualities are and how being with them has enriched your life. Telling them the truth is best. Also, tell them the reason for not continuing with the relationship.
Don't play the blame game. When explaining your reasons for breaking it off, try to phrase the issues in terms of what your needs are as opposed to what your partner lacks or hasn't done. Hopefully, you will already have discussed these issues, so they won't come as a total surprise to the other person.
In the same vein, take responsibility for your own shortcomings. Perhaps point out that you need time to work on them as well. Getting involved with someone then breaking it off is unfair to the person that was sincere in their intentions.
Being a good listener will help you immensely during this difficult moment. Expect that there will be strong emotions and possibly even accusations. Try not to react (after all, you're the one who is doing the breaking up). Just listen.
Accept that you may not be able to make things right with your partner in one sitting. It's good to set a time limit beforehand, so that you don't get sucked into an all-nighter, but be open to further conversations down the line. Be kind, considerate and gentle.
Consider in advance whether you yourself will need extra support, and what kind of support that would be.
Although you may be breaking off the relationship, this doesn't necessarily mean that you are henceforward cutting off all contact with the person. If you've been seeing someone for a relatively short time, it may take just one more short conversation. If there are possessions to split, it could take weeks and if there are children involved, it could take many months or even years.
In addition, because it's the holiday season, the person may still feel the need to speak with you after the split to work through things. Let compassion be your guide during this sensitive time. It's important to be open to some continued contact, but try to keep a time limit on conversations. While you want to do your best to help your partner move on, you have to move on, too.
I certainly hope a breakup is not on your wish-list this holiday season, but if it is, strength tempered with respect and kindness are the qualities that will sustain you and hopefully allow both you and your partner a fresh start in the New Year.
Bar advice. Breaking things off is hard but because you may not be sure of yourself may drive you to it. Sometimes it leads people back together when they take a back step and return.
For those suffering heart break during the season of peace, love and joy, there are ways to do it gracefully. It's not going to be painless for either party, but by preparing yourself and doing your best to preserve your dignity and your partner's, you can get through it. Here's some ways.
Arrange for a time when you know you won't be disturbed and a quiet place to meet. Do not choose a public place. Respect your partner's dignity by meeting with them in a location where they can be free to express their emotions. Just doing it on the phone is not a good way. The face to face way tells them that you're sorry it isn't working out.
Let your partner know ahead of time there is something important you want to talk about, so they'll be able to psychologically prepare.
It's good to begin with or include the positives of the relationship. Let your partner know what their good qualities are and how being with them has enriched your life. Telling them the truth is best. Also, tell them the reason for not continuing with the relationship.
Don't play the blame game. When explaining your reasons for breaking it off, try to phrase the issues in terms of what your needs are as opposed to what your partner lacks or hasn't done. Hopefully, you will already have discussed these issues, so they won't come as a total surprise to the other person.
In the same vein, take responsibility for your own shortcomings. Perhaps point out that you need time to work on them as well. Getting involved with someone then breaking it off is unfair to the person that was sincere in their intentions.
Being a good listener will help you immensely during this difficult moment. Expect that there will be strong emotions and possibly even accusations. Try not to react (after all, you're the one who is doing the breaking up). Just listen.
Accept that you may not be able to make things right with your partner in one sitting. It's good to set a time limit beforehand, so that you don't get sucked into an all-nighter, but be open to further conversations down the line. Be kind, considerate and gentle.
Consider in advance whether you yourself will need extra support, and what kind of support that would be.
Although you may be breaking off the relationship, this doesn't necessarily mean that you are henceforward cutting off all contact with the person. If you've been seeing someone for a relatively short time, it may take just one more short conversation. If there are possessions to split, it could take weeks and if there are children involved, it could take many months or even years.
In addition, because it's the holiday season, the person may still feel the need to speak with you after the split to work through things. Let compassion be your guide during this sensitive time. It's important to be open to some continued contact, but try to keep a time limit on conversations. While you want to do your best to help your partner move on, you have to move on, too.
I certainly hope a breakup is not on your wish-list this holiday season, but if it is, strength tempered with respect and kindness are the qualities that will sustain you and hopefully allow both you and your partner a fresh start in the New Year.
Bar advice. Breaking things off is hard but because you may not be sure of yourself may drive you to it. Sometimes it leads people back together when they take a back step and return.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Year end
As the year comes to an end every time, we all get caught up in the festivities and the last load of work that our bosses are asking us to do so we can finish the work load for the year. We also got a ton of stuff that we need to do as well. The weather doesn't help the problem as well.
Year end is also a time that we look back and see what we did in our lives. Did we change in some way? Are we happier? Did we make the relationship any better? Is everything alright in the family? Should I have gotten involved with that person? Am I loved? There's so many things that we can ask and by the time it hits Christmas we can also ask if we've been naughty or nice. Probably the actual last thing you could possibility asking yourself would be, "what resolutions will I be making this year that I won't keep?"
This time of the year we also look at the relationship that we have or beginning to have. Those already involved would look back and see if it can still stand the test of time. Others just beginning their relationships are probably guessing what their partners are feeling at this point of time toward them. Normally people are in a joyous mood so things are likely to be pleasant. Sometimes you got to meet the parents for the first time and sometimes it's dreading to meet them if you've been married for the last twenty years. It can be torny when it's the holidays.
Those really single or just met someone are either trilled or scared of what might happen. People just feel all soft and fuzzy inside and they don't want any drama. Especially if it means having their heart broken. Women don't realize that men are just as afraid as they are but they don't quite show it. Nonetheless, at this time of the year, they too need to feel good about themselves and mostly wanted and not alone. Change can sometimes be a good thing.
Not knowing sometimes can be scary but avoiding issues and playing the safe card is not the way to live life. Reflecting on years gone by, one has to ask themselves," do I want to be in someone else life"? Can it happen for me? Don't I too deserve happiness? What am I so worried about? The answers can only come from your heart.
Bar advice. The year end puts a strain on those that are alone mostly. There's a sense of isolation from the joys of what's happening which sometimes, sadly, leads to suicide.
Year end is also a time that we look back and see what we did in our lives. Did we change in some way? Are we happier? Did we make the relationship any better? Is everything alright in the family? Should I have gotten involved with that person? Am I loved? There's so many things that we can ask and by the time it hits Christmas we can also ask if we've been naughty or nice. Probably the actual last thing you could possibility asking yourself would be, "what resolutions will I be making this year that I won't keep?"
This time of the year we also look at the relationship that we have or beginning to have. Those already involved would look back and see if it can still stand the test of time. Others just beginning their relationships are probably guessing what their partners are feeling at this point of time toward them. Normally people are in a joyous mood so things are likely to be pleasant. Sometimes you got to meet the parents for the first time and sometimes it's dreading to meet them if you've been married for the last twenty years. It can be torny when it's the holidays.
Those really single or just met someone are either trilled or scared of what might happen. People just feel all soft and fuzzy inside and they don't want any drama. Especially if it means having their heart broken. Women don't realize that men are just as afraid as they are but they don't quite show it. Nonetheless, at this time of the year, they too need to feel good about themselves and mostly wanted and not alone. Change can sometimes be a good thing.
Not knowing sometimes can be scary but avoiding issues and playing the safe card is not the way to live life. Reflecting on years gone by, one has to ask themselves," do I want to be in someone else life"? Can it happen for me? Don't I too deserve happiness? What am I so worried about? The answers can only come from your heart.
Bar advice. The year end puts a strain on those that are alone mostly. There's a sense of isolation from the joys of what's happening which sometimes, sadly, leads to suicide.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Influence
We live in a world where one thing can effect the other. Like global warming. The weather may be bad in one part of the world but it effects us because we will either get it just as bad if not worse. Also, when bad weather hits some place it may effect the food chain and so that becomes another problem that effects us. Same thing goes with people in different situations in their love lives and relationships.
Can someone telling you that they don't see a future in you be a little devastating especially after you took so much time and effort to find out more about them? It's like a cyclone hitting you out of nowhere. When someone decides that they are no longer interested or that they have other people that they want to see or pursue, it's a little sad when you don't know what the core issues really are that made the person not want to be with you anymore. Sometimes it's not your fault at all but the other persons insecurities, faults, low self esteem and a tendency for self destructive behaviour in a relationship.
Getting relationship advice can help but if you get it out of a store magazine that's printed monthly and some columnist is giving you stuff that they believe is true, forget it. They just need to fill the pages. Getting good sound information from real people, true life experiences and those that understand your fears and anxieties is far better than anything else out there. Of course you can see a psychiatrist but if you reveal that to the other person they'll really think you're nuts. So, how are you influenced?
Being influenced by others that are either not involved or that don't really know or understand the issues can make the whole thing blow up. Listening to others or following the opinion of what you have read in girly magazines or the internet sites can make things worse. What if you could dig out the answers to what your partner is all about? Wouldn't that help? If you could figure out what makes them tick it will make things easier. Are you going to let the past influence what you do now and in the future? Every person is different. Finding out is party of the experiences that we go through in life. Working around difficulties and set ways may just be the liberating key that you have been looking for.
Making plans about how your life should work out and all is good but life sometimes throws us a curve ball. We may get into an accident, lose a family member suddenly, get really sick, lose our job and so on. Sometimes the person we never dreamt about as being with may just turn out to be the best thing you'll ever get in this life. Being with someone can outweigh all the material possessions in the world. Loving someone and being loved can break all barriers and fears.
Bar advice. The spice of life is like having champagne and caviar but champagne can go really well with strawberries as well. It brings out what's nice about the chanpagne. You never know what is compatible till you tried.
Can someone telling you that they don't see a future in you be a little devastating especially after you took so much time and effort to find out more about them? It's like a cyclone hitting you out of nowhere. When someone decides that they are no longer interested or that they have other people that they want to see or pursue, it's a little sad when you don't know what the core issues really are that made the person not want to be with you anymore. Sometimes it's not your fault at all but the other persons insecurities, faults, low self esteem and a tendency for self destructive behaviour in a relationship.
Getting relationship advice can help but if you get it out of a store magazine that's printed monthly and some columnist is giving you stuff that they believe is true, forget it. They just need to fill the pages. Getting good sound information from real people, true life experiences and those that understand your fears and anxieties is far better than anything else out there. Of course you can see a psychiatrist but if you reveal that to the other person they'll really think you're nuts. So, how are you influenced?
Being influenced by others that are either not involved or that don't really know or understand the issues can make the whole thing blow up. Listening to others or following the opinion of what you have read in girly magazines or the internet sites can make things worse. What if you could dig out the answers to what your partner is all about? Wouldn't that help? If you could figure out what makes them tick it will make things easier. Are you going to let the past influence what you do now and in the future? Every person is different. Finding out is party of the experiences that we go through in life. Working around difficulties and set ways may just be the liberating key that you have been looking for.
Making plans about how your life should work out and all is good but life sometimes throws us a curve ball. We may get into an accident, lose a family member suddenly, get really sick, lose our job and so on. Sometimes the person we never dreamt about as being with may just turn out to be the best thing you'll ever get in this life. Being with someone can outweigh all the material possessions in the world. Loving someone and being loved can break all barriers and fears.
Bar advice. The spice of life is like having champagne and caviar but champagne can go really well with strawberries as well. It brings out what's nice about the chanpagne. You never know what is compatible till you tried.
Bring the sunlight into your life.
For those in the northern hemisphere, they are currently in the darkest time of the year. However, after Dec. 21st, the sunlight will grow stronger and stronger. Yet, regardless of the season, dermatologists recommend putting on sunscreen when we are out in the sunshine. Did you know that it is beneficial to get at least fifteen minutes of non screened and unshaded natural light every single day? So, bring the sunlight into your life.
That's right. While we do need to watch our sun exposure and protect ourselves when we are in the sun for long periods of time, our bodies also need full-spectrum natural light on a daily basis. Incandescent lights and fluorescent lights don't produce a sufficient amount of lux (a measurement of light) to provide us with positive health benefits. The most efficient way to reap these benefits is to go outdoors.
Those fifteen minutes a day out in the sunlight can do a lot for your body, including positively affecting your endocrine system, reproductive system, and your circadian rhythms or internal biological clock. Light exposure also boosts your serotonin levels to help you to stay awake and alert. Plus, natural light helps your skin to produce vitamin D, which helps your body absorb the calcium needed for strong bones. Daily exposure to sunlight also helps reduce stress, reduce weight, and improve your mood.
How can you be sure to get those valuable 15 minutes of sunlight on a regular basis? Go outside whenever you can. Enjoy your lunch break out of doors, take a short morning or afternoon walk, or maybe even just sit on the porch to read your morning paper. All of these are excellent ways to safely get the amount of light your body requires. I hope you will think about your daily dose of sunshine and now I hope you will take some time to go over your health issues as well. May it shed light and brighten your path.
Bar advice. Being and feeling healthy makes for better people and relationships are more manageable. People do better when they feel better.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Making the connection
It seems that people looking for love, a partner, a confidant or a good match, seem to leave one thing out. Making the connection. With this, I mean, we tend to place all hopes on things that we imagine or would like to see happen in our love life. Problem is, we sometimes don't know what we really want even if it's staring us right there in the face.
What relationship advice can I dispense that will make people understand that we need to do a self examination of what we truly want in life as far as a mate or partner is concern? You got to know what you are after. Do you want to just sit back and do nothing and hope that the right one is going to fall in your lap? Praying may help but what if you get sent the right one that God thinks is best for you and you reject it. What then? Are you ready for second best? The decision to be with someone is ultimately yours.
Some people are trying hard to find someone. They accept the fact that they may not be able to get the ideal person that they would like but they give it a shot. People up to the age of thirty tend to take a less serious look at marriage. They are still having fun, making money, dating, building careers or other life endeavours and challenges. They will find it harder to find someone in their later years especially for women. Most women, at forty, are past their 'prime' in the eyes of men for marriage and children. The women in this group that are still looking tend to be more selective of their men as they do not like to waste any more time and effort in attaining a partner.
A reality check is what's needed where people that are searching for a partner but don't seem to know what they really want. Some may use classifieds or Internet dating websites but there's always the fact that a lot of people don't tell the truth in these things. Meeting and getting to know someone is crucial. Come to your own conclusions and don't make hasty decisions when meeting this person. It takes time. If you're comfortable and the connection has been made, give the person the benefit of the doubt and allow for time. Relationships blossom over time spent together.
If he/she is moving to fast, tell them to go at a slower pace. There may be times that you may want it to speed up but only if you both feel your connection is not lacking in communicating ones needs. Letting yourself flow in the direction of getting more involved at a deeper level is a hard move but sometimes you have to. People will eventually have to open up so that the other may be able to know you better. Be willing to give in to the person a little and not be afraid of talking to your partner about your concerns in life and the things that you are looking for. You should bring these things up to the surface earlier to avoid getting into a relationship mess later.
Those that are already having sex or some form of sexuality, like kissing and touching, have already moved to a higher plato. Here the relationship may get strained due to the fact that one partner may feel that it is just something that derives from lust rather than love. There may be concerns that the future holds no common ideals. Some fear that they may get in too deep only to find that they have wasted time and energy and the outcome is not fruitful. Fears like this may be justified but if you're not getting any younger why not take a chance. Give yourself the opportunity to find out if the person is worth your love and being. You never know what you'll get in return. Your life may just change.
Finding miss or mister right is never going to happen in reality for most. If you wish to continue to dream that the person will be coming from some magical place, then you're going to find you're only kidding yourself. Dreams are nice but reality is the truth. Can and will you search inside you're heart to make a reality check on your life up to this day? What's holding you back from progressing with the person you found? Do you compromise and accept that not only will your partner have flaws but so will you to them? Are you comfortable enough to free yourself from outside forces that hamper you from advancing in the relationship like age, work, family, education, race, background, religion and others alike? Is there a better way?
Give yourself permission to feel and be alive. Isn't it a better feeling when someone is in your life. Being older brings you wisdom and knowledge of past failed relationships. Use it. Those that have been hurt before by people that have deceived them have to still know that it may happen again but you can prepare a little better now. Your judgement of the one you're with is key to the relationship's love intensity. Accept their imperfections, their different ways, lifestyle, outlook at life and adapt as they will have to with you. My advice is, be yourself and let them be themselves and the two of you will work everything out eventually.
Bar advice. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Stand there naked and ask yourself if you and who you're with is worth all this. When you got your answer seek that same answer in the one that you're going to be with.
What relationship advice can I dispense that will make people understand that we need to do a self examination of what we truly want in life as far as a mate or partner is concern? You got to know what you are after. Do you want to just sit back and do nothing and hope that the right one is going to fall in your lap? Praying may help but what if you get sent the right one that God thinks is best for you and you reject it. What then? Are you ready for second best? The decision to be with someone is ultimately yours.
Some people are trying hard to find someone. They accept the fact that they may not be able to get the ideal person that they would like but they give it a shot. People up to the age of thirty tend to take a less serious look at marriage. They are still having fun, making money, dating, building careers or other life endeavours and challenges. They will find it harder to find someone in their later years especially for women. Most women, at forty, are past their 'prime' in the eyes of men for marriage and children. The women in this group that are still looking tend to be more selective of their men as they do not like to waste any more time and effort in attaining a partner.
A reality check is what's needed where people that are searching for a partner but don't seem to know what they really want. Some may use classifieds or Internet dating websites but there's always the fact that a lot of people don't tell the truth in these things. Meeting and getting to know someone is crucial. Come to your own conclusions and don't make hasty decisions when meeting this person. It takes time. If you're comfortable and the connection has been made, give the person the benefit of the doubt and allow for time. Relationships blossom over time spent together.
If he/she is moving to fast, tell them to go at a slower pace. There may be times that you may want it to speed up but only if you both feel your connection is not lacking in communicating ones needs. Letting yourself flow in the direction of getting more involved at a deeper level is a hard move but sometimes you have to. People will eventually have to open up so that the other may be able to know you better. Be willing to give in to the person a little and not be afraid of talking to your partner about your concerns in life and the things that you are looking for. You should bring these things up to the surface earlier to avoid getting into a relationship mess later.
Those that are already having sex or some form of sexuality, like kissing and touching, have already moved to a higher plato. Here the relationship may get strained due to the fact that one partner may feel that it is just something that derives from lust rather than love. There may be concerns that the future holds no common ideals. Some fear that they may get in too deep only to find that they have wasted time and energy and the outcome is not fruitful. Fears like this may be justified but if you're not getting any younger why not take a chance. Give yourself the opportunity to find out if the person is worth your love and being. You never know what you'll get in return. Your life may just change.
Finding miss or mister right is never going to happen in reality for most. If you wish to continue to dream that the person will be coming from some magical place, then you're going to find you're only kidding yourself. Dreams are nice but reality is the truth. Can and will you search inside you're heart to make a reality check on your life up to this day? What's holding you back from progressing with the person you found? Do you compromise and accept that not only will your partner have flaws but so will you to them? Are you comfortable enough to free yourself from outside forces that hamper you from advancing in the relationship like age, work, family, education, race, background, religion and others alike? Is there a better way?
Give yourself permission to feel and be alive. Isn't it a better feeling when someone is in your life. Being older brings you wisdom and knowledge of past failed relationships. Use it. Those that have been hurt before by people that have deceived them have to still know that it may happen again but you can prepare a little better now. Your judgement of the one you're with is key to the relationship's love intensity. Accept their imperfections, their different ways, lifestyle, outlook at life and adapt as they will have to with you. My advice is, be yourself and let them be themselves and the two of you will work everything out eventually.
Bar advice. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Stand there naked and ask yourself if you and who you're with is worth all this. When you got your answer seek that same answer in the one that you're going to be with.
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