It seems that people looking for love, a partner, a confidant or a good match, seem to leave one thing out. Making the connection. With this, I mean, we tend to place all hopes on things that we imagine or would like to see happen in our love life. Problem is, we sometimes don't know what we really want even if it's staring us right there in the face.
What relationship advice can I dispense that will make people understand that we need to do a self examination of what we truly want in life as far as a mate or partner is concern? You got to know what you are after. Do you want to just sit back and do nothing and hope that the right one is going to fall in your lap? Praying may help but what if you get sent the right one that God thinks is best for you and you reject it. What then? Are you ready for second best? The decision to be with someone is ultimately yours.
Some people are trying hard to find someone. They accept the fact that they may not be able to get the ideal person that they would like but they give it a shot. People up to the age of thirty tend to take a less serious look at marriage. They are still having fun, making money, dating, building careers or other life endeavours and challenges. They will find it harder to find someone in their later years especially for women. Most women, at forty, are past their 'prime' in the eyes of men for marriage and children. The women in this group that are still looking tend to be more selective of their men as they do not like to waste any more time and effort in attaining a partner.
A reality check is what's needed where people that are searching for a partner but don't seem to know what they really want. Some may use classifieds or Internet dating websites but there's always the fact that a lot of people don't tell the truth in these things. Meeting and getting to know someone is crucial. Come to your own conclusions and don't make hasty decisions when meeting this person. It takes time. If you're comfortable and the connection has been made, give the person the benefit of the doubt and allow for time. Relationships blossom over time spent together.
If he/she is moving to fast, tell them to go at a slower pace. There may be times that you may want it to speed up but only if you both feel your connection is not lacking in communicating ones needs. Letting yourself flow in the direction of getting more involved at a deeper level is a hard move but sometimes you have to. People will eventually have to open up so that the other may be able to know you better. Be willing to give in to the person a little and not be afraid of talking to your partner about your concerns in life and the things that you are looking for. You should bring these things up to the surface earlier to avoid getting into a relationship mess later.
Those that are already having sex or some form of sexuality, like kissing and touching, have already moved to a higher plato. Here the relationship may get strained due to the fact that one partner may feel that it is just something that derives from lust rather than love. There may be concerns that the future holds no common ideals. Some fear that they may get in too deep only to find that they have wasted time and energy and the outcome is not fruitful. Fears like this may be justified but if you're not getting any younger why not take a chance. Give yourself the opportunity to find out if the person is worth your love and being. You never know what you'll get in return. Your life may just change.
Finding miss or mister right is never going to happen in reality for most. If you wish to continue to dream that the person will be coming from some magical place, then you're going to find you're only kidding yourself. Dreams are nice but reality is the truth. Can and will you search inside you're heart to make a reality check on your life up to this day? What's holding you back from progressing with the person you found? Do you compromise and accept that not only will your partner have flaws but so will you to them? Are you comfortable enough to free yourself from outside forces that hamper you from advancing in the relationship like age, work, family, education, race, background, religion and others alike? Is there a better way?
Give yourself permission to feel and be alive. Isn't it a better feeling when someone is in your life. Being older brings you wisdom and knowledge of past failed relationships. Use it. Those that have been hurt before by people that have deceived them have to still know that it may happen again but you can prepare a little better now. Your judgement of the one you're with is key to the relationship's love intensity. Accept their imperfections, their different ways, lifestyle, outlook at life and adapt as they will have to with you. My advice is, be yourself and let them be themselves and the two of you will work everything out eventually.
Bar advice. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Stand there naked and ask yourself if you and who you're with is worth all this. When you got your answer seek that same answer in the one that you're going to be with.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Monday, December 3, 2007
Ten Women - Pick Up Lines
This is a You Tube video about lines used by men to pick up women. These ten women tell the truth about their feelings about the crap that men do and the pick up lines that turns them off.
Bar advice. Guys have to work on proper lines. If you call them pick up lines, well, you're already in trouble. Women want an invitation or proposal for company.
Bar advice. Guys have to work on proper lines. If you call them pick up lines, well, you're already in trouble. Women want an invitation or proposal for company.
What not to do on first dates
This may surprise you, but you shouldn't take women on dates. That might sound strange, doesn't it? If you take a woman to dinner and a movie, you're asking to be strung along like a book club member. You set yourself up for all sorts of mistakes and you're just begging for uncomfortable silences and boring conversation.
You can make it work but you'll just make yourself work a lot harder. So what should you do instead? Well, best case scenario you create an instant date. You go from meeting up to going somewhere, together. This can mean moving from the bookstore to a coffee shop, one club to another or often, to begin, just leading a woman from one part of a bar to another. maybe the bar counter to the pool table, to a seat or patio area for fresh air.
Create a powerful move. Say you want to tell or show her something. Maybe it can be about something you want to show her at your house, like an album or a book. (Done subtly, this is a great way to lead to your place). Take her hand and lead her to a more secluded spot in the home. Don't put your hands all over her you'll look desperate and a perv. Once you've led her somewhere, you've shifted the world a little bit because you are together, alone. Maintain strong eye contact. Speak in a quieter, confidential voice (the kind she wants to lean in to hear). Set yourself up that way, and it should be much easier to get things moving. The important thing is that you concentrate not on getting a woman to bed, but on moving to the next step.
Once you've got a connection, next is changing settings so you reaffirm and strengthen that connection. This is good in so many ways. It gives you a chance to get to know the girl quickly, which is impressive when it happens quickly, plus it let's you figure out if the lady is worth your time before you've invested much effort. It should feel natural. It's low-pressure fun. Spontaneous, without expectations or commitments. It's just great. Not to mention it allows you to set the pace you proceed at.
Initially, don't ask her to dinner. If possible, don't even ask her in advance. A spontaneous meeting at a coffee shop or going shopping in a flea market with built-in conversation is great. Make sure you're going somewhere fun. The kind of place with strange knick-knacks all around so you're conversation can naturally flow from your surroundings. Why do extra work when you can let the atmosphere help you? Maybe miniature golf. You don't need skills for that and if you are good, it gives you the opportunity get behind her and show her how to play.
One key thing is , Don't Pay All! Especially with a woman you've just met. Paying says all the wrong things. In the old days it was the "gentlemanly thing" to do but it's different in this day and age. Women will read it different ways. It says "I'm not interesting, so I'm bribing you to spend time with me." Also, "I want to prove I'm good guy material by showing off my financial success." The corollary, "I'm insecure, so like a man with a small penis and a hot sports car, I'm trying to buy myself some confidence." Worse still, "I don't really know you, but I think you're hot so I'm going to try and buy my way into your pants." Equally cringe worthy, "I just paid for you. Now what are you going to do for me?". The part about you being a gentleman just skips the ladies minds at times.
The biggest reasons to avoid the dinner date, at least to begin, is not creating an awkward social setting with someone you barely know. You basically force all sorts of uncomfortable thoughts about the money involved. My advice. Coffee? Who cares about a couple of bucks? Shopping? You're not going to buy her something, are you? That smells of bribery worse than dinner, and you'll just make her uneasy. Avoid putting yourself in situations where the issue of payment comes up, and you'll avoid this whole can of worms.
Bar Advice. More conversation are needed first. Be it the phone, messenger, emails, PC cams or whatever. Be comfortable and you'll both be at ease. These awkward issues can be resolved even before going out.
You can make it work but you'll just make yourself work a lot harder. So what should you do instead? Well, best case scenario you create an instant date. You go from meeting up to going somewhere, together. This can mean moving from the bookstore to a coffee shop, one club to another or often, to begin, just leading a woman from one part of a bar to another. maybe the bar counter to the pool table, to a seat or patio area for fresh air.
Create a powerful move. Say you want to tell or show her something. Maybe it can be about something you want to show her at your house, like an album or a book. (Done subtly, this is a great way to lead to your place). Take her hand and lead her to a more secluded spot in the home. Don't put your hands all over her you'll look desperate and a perv. Once you've led her somewhere, you've shifted the world a little bit because you are together, alone. Maintain strong eye contact. Speak in a quieter, confidential voice (the kind she wants to lean in to hear). Set yourself up that way, and it should be much easier to get things moving. The important thing is that you concentrate not on getting a woman to bed, but on moving to the next step.
Once you've got a connection, next is changing settings so you reaffirm and strengthen that connection. This is good in so many ways. It gives you a chance to get to know the girl quickly, which is impressive when it happens quickly, plus it let's you figure out if the lady is worth your time before you've invested much effort. It should feel natural. It's low-pressure fun. Spontaneous, without expectations or commitments. It's just great. Not to mention it allows you to set the pace you proceed at.
Initially, don't ask her to dinner. If possible, don't even ask her in advance. A spontaneous meeting at a coffee shop or going shopping in a flea market with built-in conversation is great. Make sure you're going somewhere fun. The kind of place with strange knick-knacks all around so you're conversation can naturally flow from your surroundings. Why do extra work when you can let the atmosphere help you? Maybe miniature golf. You don't need skills for that and if you are good, it gives you the opportunity get behind her and show her how to play.
One key thing is , Don't Pay All! Especially with a woman you've just met. Paying says all the wrong things. In the old days it was the "gentlemanly thing" to do but it's different in this day and age. Women will read it different ways. It says "I'm not interesting, so I'm bribing you to spend time with me." Also, "I want to prove I'm good guy material by showing off my financial success." The corollary, "I'm insecure, so like a man with a small penis and a hot sports car, I'm trying to buy myself some confidence." Worse still, "I don't really know you, but I think you're hot so I'm going to try and buy my way into your pants." Equally cringe worthy, "I just paid for you. Now what are you going to do for me?". The part about you being a gentleman just skips the ladies minds at times.
The biggest reasons to avoid the dinner date, at least to begin, is not creating an awkward social setting with someone you barely know. You basically force all sorts of uncomfortable thoughts about the money involved. My advice. Coffee? Who cares about a couple of bucks? Shopping? You're not going to buy her something, are you? That smells of bribery worse than dinner, and you'll just make her uneasy. Avoid putting yourself in situations where the issue of payment comes up, and you'll avoid this whole can of worms.
Bar Advice. More conversation are needed first. Be it the phone, messenger, emails, PC cams or whatever. Be comfortable and you'll both be at ease. These awkward issues can be resolved even before going out.
Female Sexual Desire & Sexual Group Anatomy
For those that don't like to read hers something a bit more visual and audible. Don't be afraid to pay attention.
Second video is excellent as well. This is questions from people and a sexual group anatomy video. She answers candidly. I advise you to watch and listen. Quite graphic.
Bar advice. We all need lessons. Those that need better advice should seek it to improve their sexual and normal daily life.
Second video is excellent as well. This is questions from people and a sexual group anatomy video. She answers candidly. I advise you to watch and listen. Quite graphic.
Bar advice. We all need lessons. Those that need better advice should seek it to improve their sexual and normal daily life.
Sexual fantasies
The only reason why people keep their fantasies to themselves is because they fear that people will think of them as weird, crazy or something like that. Sexual fantasies may involve having sex in a public place or with a friend's partner or even violence and rape. Women may have 'fantasy sex' with several men at once, while men may show an inclination towards the extremes of virgins or prostitutes. Sometimes it's just our own small fetishes that we desire.
Sometimes a woman who 'dreams' about making love to another woman may fear she is a lesbian, while a man who 'dreams' about a prostitute may feel he is betraying his wife. The actual act did not occur so there is nothing to fear. This is actually just normal human traits. It can happen consciously or subconsciously. Can we control our minds from the neurons that feed these cravings or desires? Unless you're comatose and not know what's going on. Even in that state we can't tell if someone is fantasizing. People feel there's a link to this and real life dangers that they can pose to others because of their sexual behaviour and thoughts.
Some people convince themselves that they may act out such fantasies in real life or even that they are mentally ill. It is easy to understand why some people might feel guilt and concern about their fantasies. Nevertheless, having any particular fantasy is, by itself, generally not seen as an indication that a person has a psychological problem or personality disorder. We all got some sort of fantasy. It can be general like being super rich, being a celebrity or having a dream home. The main point is that even if those fantasies came true you'd still have sexual fantasies. It's something we all cannot escape from.
I'll bet that even holy men have them as well. We don't talk about this but we know that everyone is human. They may suppress them better than others but now and again they probably arise. There's no shame in this because it's part of our human essence. In fact if you're in a relationship, my advice is to talk to your partner. Get this topic out in the open. Make things start to fill those fantasies up. Find out what he wants and what she wants. This is probably going to fire up your sex life so much that you won't know left from right. Your love relationship is your special resource that aids your sexual relationship. I just ended another session of cyber sex with the same girl previously and again she masturbated and enjoyed herself. This fantasy between me and her is just beginning.
Now let's say your man makes a comment on a sexy outfit you both saw in a magazine. He's probably imagining the girl not the clothes but don't be offended. Take it as a opportunity to fill his desires. Find a way to get that outfit or like it and role play what he wants. If a women is checking out a guy dancing she may imagine herself as the seductive partner. Make your own teasing dance when you get home. Don't go blowing up and arguing about what she was looking at and why she's interested in the guy. That all doesn't make any sense and your role playing fantasies is short lived.
Even watching porn together, and I'm not suggesting anything illegal, will help both partners experiment with things that one may not have known about or was unwilling to do. Sometimes it may backfire as pain may be involved. Do what you're comfortable with. Illustrated books can also help. The Karma Sutra has been around a long time. There are things in there that you never even heard of, tried or did. Discussing the most erotic fantasies could also put you on the path to some juicy sex.
Anything to do with more than the two of you, for example threesomes or more, is entirely between the two of you. This I advise against if there isn't strong trust between both partners. Many a time one will accuse the other of doing things with someone else without them present. If you're into this sort of thing it is always best to be with the other present. If the bonds of trust are broken it's doomed. Listen here. If you're getting the permission to be with another person sexually in the presents of your partner why do you need to sneak of with someone alone? This is the life of swingers but I'll get into that another time
Having these secret fantasies come true will make you and your partner have a better sex life. Nothing gets stale and people tend to stay together in the relationship a long time. Why go anywhere else? If you can't do it all the time maybe you can work it out to a point that both of you can do it once a week or fortnightly. Maybe you can take turns to address your partners fantasy that way there's anticipation when it comes to your week. All said and done if there's to much going on like work, then just have normal passionate sex. Making love to the person you love in a passionate sexual manner far outweighs any fantasy that's in peoples minds.
Bar advice. Sometimes staying away from each other sexually for a short time can build to a more eager anticipation. Playfulness and build up to the event will be a fantasy all on it's own.
Sometimes a woman who 'dreams' about making love to another woman may fear she is a lesbian, while a man who 'dreams' about a prostitute may feel he is betraying his wife. The actual act did not occur so there is nothing to fear. This is actually just normal human traits. It can happen consciously or subconsciously. Can we control our minds from the neurons that feed these cravings or desires? Unless you're comatose and not know what's going on. Even in that state we can't tell if someone is fantasizing. People feel there's a link to this and real life dangers that they can pose to others because of their sexual behaviour and thoughts.
Some people convince themselves that they may act out such fantasies in real life or even that they are mentally ill. It is easy to understand why some people might feel guilt and concern about their fantasies. Nevertheless, having any particular fantasy is, by itself, generally not seen as an indication that a person has a psychological problem or personality disorder. We all got some sort of fantasy. It can be general like being super rich, being a celebrity or having a dream home. The main point is that even if those fantasies came true you'd still have sexual fantasies. It's something we all cannot escape from.
I'll bet that even holy men have them as well. We don't talk about this but we know that everyone is human. They may suppress them better than others but now and again they probably arise. There's no shame in this because it's part of our human essence. In fact if you're in a relationship, my advice is to talk to your partner. Get this topic out in the open. Make things start to fill those fantasies up. Find out what he wants and what she wants. This is probably going to fire up your sex life so much that you won't know left from right. Your love relationship is your special resource that aids your sexual relationship. I just ended another session of cyber sex with the same girl previously and again she masturbated and enjoyed herself. This fantasy between me and her is just beginning.
Now let's say your man makes a comment on a sexy outfit you both saw in a magazine. He's probably imagining the girl not the clothes but don't be offended. Take it as a opportunity to fill his desires. Find a way to get that outfit or like it and role play what he wants. If a women is checking out a guy dancing she may imagine herself as the seductive partner. Make your own teasing dance when you get home. Don't go blowing up and arguing about what she was looking at and why she's interested in the guy. That all doesn't make any sense and your role playing fantasies is short lived.
Even watching porn together, and I'm not suggesting anything illegal, will help both partners experiment with things that one may not have known about or was unwilling to do. Sometimes it may backfire as pain may be involved. Do what you're comfortable with. Illustrated books can also help. The Karma Sutra has been around a long time. There are things in there that you never even heard of, tried or did. Discussing the most erotic fantasies could also put you on the path to some juicy sex.
Anything to do with more than the two of you, for example threesomes or more, is entirely between the two of you. This I advise against if there isn't strong trust between both partners. Many a time one will accuse the other of doing things with someone else without them present. If you're into this sort of thing it is always best to be with the other present. If the bonds of trust are broken it's doomed. Listen here. If you're getting the permission to be with another person sexually in the presents of your partner why do you need to sneak of with someone alone? This is the life of swingers but I'll get into that another time
Having these secret fantasies come true will make you and your partner have a better sex life. Nothing gets stale and people tend to stay together in the relationship a long time. Why go anywhere else? If you can't do it all the time maybe you can work it out to a point that both of you can do it once a week or fortnightly. Maybe you can take turns to address your partners fantasy that way there's anticipation when it comes to your week. All said and done if there's to much going on like work, then just have normal passionate sex. Making love to the person you love in a passionate sexual manner far outweighs any fantasy that's in peoples minds.
Bar advice. Sometimes staying away from each other sexually for a short time can build to a more eager anticipation. Playfulness and build up to the event will be a fantasy all on it's own.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Urges, cravings and desires
The funny thing about us human being is we have certain urges, cravings and desires on a daily basis. Sometimes it's just a fantasy that we play in our mind. Sometimes it's the urge to do something for a long time that we either haven't done before or just haven't done in a long time. Then there's desire. This, in most cases, are things that are more materialistic or sexual in need.
Men mostly desire a more seductive and beautiful girl. Never worrying if she's good in bed or not. They just want one. Women do want a nice looking guy but they also want a guy that can fill their bang with quality and not just quantity. Women want a nice environment for the seduction. A romantic location or setting to be in the mood. Nice conversation. Men, they just need a place to get it on. That's a big difference between the genders. One thinks with their heart the other with their head, and I don't mean the one on their shoulders. I'll let you figure out which is which.
Just like a pregnant women graving for ice cream or sweet corn or whatever, the thought sticks in the head for a long time. It fades in and out of the mind but the crave will still be there till it's been satisfied. Only unless it's totally unobtainable will they let it go. Sometimes we get a crush, normally women, on someone. We want to be with them or at least be known to them. If there's acknowledgement from the one they have the crush on, their feed for the grave would have been met. They'll be able to get on with their live and be content. Guys don't normally have crushes but when they like a beautiful girl they are overjoyed just by the girl's greeting or even a single smile in their direction. A guy just feels like part of the world at that moment. It's one of those funny guy things.
We can't live without sex or can we? That's another part of the urges, cravings and desires. It's scientific fact that people have some sort of sexual thoughts in their daily lives. You can be having the worse day in their lives and yet. pop, a sexual thought of someone or something will enter their mind from out of nowhere. Fantasy role playing, lustful thoughts, surfing porn, magazines(not even necessarily dirty ones), in conversations, people watching and so on add to our secret desires of the human mind. That's all it really is we're built in that way since the dawn of time. It's just that society has changed but not the cravings of the mind. If we could we would all be naked chasing after the ones we like most in the jungles. In the urban jungle of today we do it with tools like the Internet and personal ads.
The other day I was on the messenger service. Getting to know a girl and after several hours of conversation, and things heating up, we got into the whole cyber sex thing. It was fun. We had a good time. Her mostly as I had a lot of finger work to do and I don't mean on her body but on the computer keys. It's a lot of quick typing to get the messages out fast. When you got a horny girl on the receiving end you have to be fast. She typed some back but later she told me that she was playing with herself. It took me by surprised but to hear that she masturbated, got all wet and did cum, was pleasing to think that I was part of the sexual fantasy that fulfill her needs and desires at that moment. I felt good as well after she told me. I actually felt like we had sex and that I was having after sex conversation with her. By the way guys, after sex conversation is a crucial follow up step in real sex especially. Women want to hear from you. Being quiet will make her feel and think there's something wrong.
These cravings, urges and desires add fuel to the fire of our fantasies. The fact that we all want them to be fulfilled probably can't happen. This is because every time we add more of these desires and cravings in our minds that it just doesn't stop. People that get older are looking with their minds through the eyes that feel young but bodies are a little aged but it doesn't stop them from thinking these thoughts or feeling what they feel. We all got to age but as we do we try to fill all the gaps of our imagination or needs. We can all preform. We just need the right place and person.
Bar advice. Live the life you can and fill all desires even if it's as simple as Internet cyber sex. Don't forget these urges, cravings and desire are the normal human characteristics as our forefathers.
Men mostly desire a more seductive and beautiful girl. Never worrying if she's good in bed or not. They just want one. Women do want a nice looking guy but they also want a guy that can fill their bang with quality and not just quantity. Women want a nice environment for the seduction. A romantic location or setting to be in the mood. Nice conversation. Men, they just need a place to get it on. That's a big difference between the genders. One thinks with their heart the other with their head, and I don't mean the one on their shoulders. I'll let you figure out which is which.
Just like a pregnant women graving for ice cream or sweet corn or whatever, the thought sticks in the head for a long time. It fades in and out of the mind but the crave will still be there till it's been satisfied. Only unless it's totally unobtainable will they let it go. Sometimes we get a crush, normally women, on someone. We want to be with them or at least be known to them. If there's acknowledgement from the one they have the crush on, their feed for the grave would have been met. They'll be able to get on with their live and be content. Guys don't normally have crushes but when they like a beautiful girl they are overjoyed just by the girl's greeting or even a single smile in their direction. A guy just feels like part of the world at that moment. It's one of those funny guy things.
We can't live without sex or can we? That's another part of the urges, cravings and desires. It's scientific fact that people have some sort of sexual thoughts in their daily lives. You can be having the worse day in their lives and yet. pop, a sexual thought of someone or something will enter their mind from out of nowhere. Fantasy role playing, lustful thoughts, surfing porn, magazines(not even necessarily dirty ones), in conversations, people watching and so on add to our secret desires of the human mind. That's all it really is we're built in that way since the dawn of time. It's just that society has changed but not the cravings of the mind. If we could we would all be naked chasing after the ones we like most in the jungles. In the urban jungle of today we do it with tools like the Internet and personal ads.
The other day I was on the messenger service. Getting to know a girl and after several hours of conversation, and things heating up, we got into the whole cyber sex thing. It was fun. We had a good time. Her mostly as I had a lot of finger work to do and I don't mean on her body but on the computer keys. It's a lot of quick typing to get the messages out fast. When you got a horny girl on the receiving end you have to be fast. She typed some back but later she told me that she was playing with herself. It took me by surprised but to hear that she masturbated, got all wet and did cum, was pleasing to think that I was part of the sexual fantasy that fulfill her needs and desires at that moment. I felt good as well after she told me. I actually felt like we had sex and that I was having after sex conversation with her. By the way guys, after sex conversation is a crucial follow up step in real sex especially. Women want to hear from you. Being quiet will make her feel and think there's something wrong.
These cravings, urges and desires add fuel to the fire of our fantasies. The fact that we all want them to be fulfilled probably can't happen. This is because every time we add more of these desires and cravings in our minds that it just doesn't stop. People that get older are looking with their minds through the eyes that feel young but bodies are a little aged but it doesn't stop them from thinking these thoughts or feeling what they feel. We all got to age but as we do we try to fill all the gaps of our imagination or needs. We can all preform. We just need the right place and person.
Bar advice. Live the life you can and fill all desires even if it's as simple as Internet cyber sex. Don't forget these urges, cravings and desire are the normal human characteristics as our forefathers.
Jungle fever
What does it take for someone to see beyond the colour. The race and the backgrounds. The social standings. The religion. We live in a society, or should I say world, that frowns on interracial marriages or togetherness. Even today it is sometimes difficult and not accepted.
To change the mindset of others is hard but those that are lying in the same familiar bed of loneliness look at people differently. If anyone saw the movie Jungle fever they would know that love doesn't see all the boundaries that people place in this world. When one finds that someone special in life who is it that has the right to stop you. People don't just go out looking for someone different than them. It just happens.
This may cause people to look at them differently. Make nasty remarks. Cause problems. Even abuse. Why do people have to act this way? Wouldn't it be better if people could just change. In India the caste system that's been around looks like it's long gone but people still behave intolerantly at those of a lower status. In Muslim countries they don't accept even those that are of different ethnic backgrounds. The shame of it all.
My sister had a Muslim girlfriend that married a Hindu husband but the family rejected her. She was banished from her home and family. That's the Muslim way. Today she's well and has two kids and the husband takes care of all of them. A loss for her original family. This happens all over the world and with all sorts of obstacles for those just looking for love. Imagine what it would be like if there was more acceptance and understanding from families, people and society.
Recently I got to know this girl that's Chinese and she's been in relationships that didn't work out. She's been to the US and said she's been with Thai, American and British guys. Now she's back and seems to be looking, after a recent break up with a local boyfriend, for someone special. It may be age or loneliness but it may just be a case of not finding the right one and the right one may not be the normal stream of things or persons. I haven't met her as yet but she seems to like the blog and all that I got to say in it.
Jungle love is the coming together of people that are different. Finding solace in the arms of someone that others may look upon as odd or wrong but it doesn't mean it is. We all just want to know that we are cared for. Will someone be there to hold your hand if you're sick? Will you be alone till death? Is there someone that can love you more unconditionally than the house dog? Don't you also deserve to have what you see others having everyday. Sure, you may not be able to have kids or do certain things like pole dancing but you get the joy of the another human being loving you back. No it's not hard to be open to the possibility that you can find love elsewhere. That's just the point. Be more open. Do not and I stress again, do not care what others say.
This is your life. No one else, not parents, friends of strangers are suppose to stop you from finding true love and happiness. Fight for what your heart desires. The more people see this happening the more people will change. In fact you may surprise yourself when you find that you see life in the many different ways that you never thought possible. Opening your heart to a different sort of person is just the same as anyone else. Also, the person you're with has also got to have the same moral values and is proud to be in the relationship with you. Working things out and ironing out the issues of your relationship will bring you closer together. Making errors is part of it but acceptance of each others differences is what will mould and eventually become the bond. Strengthening it and will break others that ridicule both of you.
For all those that are ready to take the chance, jump in with both feet, go for it. Make the decision to take your life into your own hands. There should be no such thing as being too young, not making the right choice or being in a mid life crisis that should stop you. Make hay when the sun shines is the saying so do just that. What's holding you back when you can see that at the end of the tunnel there's the most beautiful rainbow that can fulfill you?
Bar Advice. It will be difficult but than again life is for everyone. Why should yours be any different? But it can be done.
To change the mindset of others is hard but those that are lying in the same familiar bed of loneliness look at people differently. If anyone saw the movie Jungle fever they would know that love doesn't see all the boundaries that people place in this world. When one finds that someone special in life who is it that has the right to stop you. People don't just go out looking for someone different than them. It just happens.
This may cause people to look at them differently. Make nasty remarks. Cause problems. Even abuse. Why do people have to act this way? Wouldn't it be better if people could just change. In India the caste system that's been around looks like it's long gone but people still behave intolerantly at those of a lower status. In Muslim countries they don't accept even those that are of different ethnic backgrounds. The shame of it all.
My sister had a Muslim girlfriend that married a Hindu husband but the family rejected her. She was banished from her home and family. That's the Muslim way. Today she's well and has two kids and the husband takes care of all of them. A loss for her original family. This happens all over the world and with all sorts of obstacles for those just looking for love. Imagine what it would be like if there was more acceptance and understanding from families, people and society.
Recently I got to know this girl that's Chinese and she's been in relationships that didn't work out. She's been to the US and said she's been with Thai, American and British guys. Now she's back and seems to be looking, after a recent break up with a local boyfriend, for someone special. It may be age or loneliness but it may just be a case of not finding the right one and the right one may not be the normal stream of things or persons. I haven't met her as yet but she seems to like the blog and all that I got to say in it.
Jungle love is the coming together of people that are different. Finding solace in the arms of someone that others may look upon as odd or wrong but it doesn't mean it is. We all just want to know that we are cared for. Will someone be there to hold your hand if you're sick? Will you be alone till death? Is there someone that can love you more unconditionally than the house dog? Don't you also deserve to have what you see others having everyday. Sure, you may not be able to have kids or do certain things like pole dancing but you get the joy of the another human being loving you back. No it's not hard to be open to the possibility that you can find love elsewhere. That's just the point. Be more open. Do not and I stress again, do not care what others say.
This is your life. No one else, not parents, friends of strangers are suppose to stop you from finding true love and happiness. Fight for what your heart desires. The more people see this happening the more people will change. In fact you may surprise yourself when you find that you see life in the many different ways that you never thought possible. Opening your heart to a different sort of person is just the same as anyone else. Also, the person you're with has also got to have the same moral values and is proud to be in the relationship with you. Working things out and ironing out the issues of your relationship will bring you closer together. Making errors is part of it but acceptance of each others differences is what will mould and eventually become the bond. Strengthening it and will break others that ridicule both of you.
For all those that are ready to take the chance, jump in with both feet, go for it. Make the decision to take your life into your own hands. There should be no such thing as being too young, not making the right choice or being in a mid life crisis that should stop you. Make hay when the sun shines is the saying so do just that. What's holding you back when you can see that at the end of the tunnel there's the most beautiful rainbow that can fulfill you?
Bar Advice. It will be difficult but than again life is for everyone. Why should yours be any different? But it can be done.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Guys. Don't be boring
Don't be BORING! There is no greater sin when you're trying to attract a beautiful women. In fact, this is the number one cause of "nice guys". It's not that women don't like nice guys. They do but oftentimes those types have some sincerity in them but it's just that nice guys aren't exciting. They're predictable to the girl. That's why they, often times, like those with the bad boy image but are really nice guys as well. Get the point?
I don't expect you to go out and buy a leather jacket or ride a Harley Davidson motorbike or even become a karate champion. Sometimes being who you are but making yourself to be a little more cool in her eyes is the key. It works for geeks like Bill gates, sure, if you have a bank account larger than the economies of some countries. Then again, Bill gates personifies a sense of being cool in his own way because he did what nobody around the world has done. This gives him an image of iconic proportions so the competition is zero. Women do look up to him and they want to be in his inner circle.
This is something that you need to be doing as well. Make them want to be near you. Her heart is seeking adventure. she wants to be swept off her feet. Now, this doesn't mean that you have to go bull riding or bungee jumping on a first date, but it does mean you can't be predictable. You can't be bland because that path is so obvious. She'll know what you'll say and do five minutes before you do it. Guys, how long can you watch a painfully formulaic movie before getting annoyed, especially if there aren't any explosions? She needs you to stir her life up a little and let's face it almost everyone will pick exciting over pleasant any time.
Now, jerks aren't pleasant people. She won't like that. This isn't a positive, in fact, it's the reason jerks rarely find themselves in long term or stable relationships but what jerks are; is unpredictable. Women will go out with them but in the end they'll be dumped as well. The important thing is to be unpredictable but not be a jerk to her or her friends. I don't know about you, but my aim in life has never been to be an abusive asshole. Even when I was younger I recognized that guys that were pricks got more women than they should, and that I would probably increase my success by following that pattern but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Deep down, most of us are nice guys. Tell you a secret. Lots of guys that have a bad boy image, deep down inside are in fact nice guys.
They sometimes prevail this image to women so in the event that things go wrong they can walk away with their heads held high although their little hearts are broken. They don't show their vulnerability but if a woman has been with a that guy for some time she will discover the real him. She'll love him even more that she actually has the good guy that she's always wanted and didn't realize.
Another tactic is what is called the delay method. If the women wants to go and have sushi, don't take her there on that night. Wait a week or so then bring her. You gain points for listening and thoughtfulness. If she's been talking about going to a certain place, eventually bring her there but do it with an element of surprise. She'll be all the more excited to go. Guys sometimes have a tendency to slip up and do everything that she ask. Advice here is don't be giving in even if she's whining about it. There may be the exception if you also want the same thing and you think it will move you ahead in the relationship.
By the way, delay, it counts about a thousand fold when it comes to sex. Few things are sexier than a man who doesn't lose it at the sight of an exposed breast. Don't make her think that her tits were the first lumps you've ever seen apart from Playboy magazine. If you can control yourself and delay satisfaction until you're ready to give it, the anticipation becomes more powerful than act alone and making the act all the more powerful when it happens. Yes, I'm still talking about sex but I'm talking about all the rest of it too. Trust me the "delay" game works.
Bar advice. Guys should find ways to improve themselves and not appear boring. One idea is to picture a role model as a muse to the change and try to emulate him. Most importantly find out what women are looking for.
I don't expect you to go out and buy a leather jacket or ride a Harley Davidson motorbike or even become a karate champion. Sometimes being who you are but making yourself to be a little more cool in her eyes is the key. It works for geeks like Bill gates, sure, if you have a bank account larger than the economies of some countries. Then again, Bill gates personifies a sense of being cool in his own way because he did what nobody around the world has done. This gives him an image of iconic proportions so the competition is zero. Women do look up to him and they want to be in his inner circle.
This is something that you need to be doing as well. Make them want to be near you. Her heart is seeking adventure. she wants to be swept off her feet. Now, this doesn't mean that you have to go bull riding or bungee jumping on a first date, but it does mean you can't be predictable. You can't be bland because that path is so obvious. She'll know what you'll say and do five minutes before you do it. Guys, how long can you watch a painfully formulaic movie before getting annoyed, especially if there aren't any explosions? She needs you to stir her life up a little and let's face it almost everyone will pick exciting over pleasant any time.
Now, jerks aren't pleasant people. She won't like that. This isn't a positive, in fact, it's the reason jerks rarely find themselves in long term or stable relationships but what jerks are; is unpredictable. Women will go out with them but in the end they'll be dumped as well. The important thing is to be unpredictable but not be a jerk to her or her friends. I don't know about you, but my aim in life has never been to be an abusive asshole. Even when I was younger I recognized that guys that were pricks got more women than they should, and that I would probably increase my success by following that pattern but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Deep down, most of us are nice guys. Tell you a secret. Lots of guys that have a bad boy image, deep down inside are in fact nice guys.
They sometimes prevail this image to women so in the event that things go wrong they can walk away with their heads held high although their little hearts are broken. They don't show their vulnerability but if a woman has been with a that guy for some time she will discover the real him. She'll love him even more that she actually has the good guy that she's always wanted and didn't realize.
Another tactic is what is called the delay method. If the women wants to go and have sushi, don't take her there on that night. Wait a week or so then bring her. You gain points for listening and thoughtfulness. If she's been talking about going to a certain place, eventually bring her there but do it with an element of surprise. She'll be all the more excited to go. Guys sometimes have a tendency to slip up and do everything that she ask. Advice here is don't be giving in even if she's whining about it. There may be the exception if you also want the same thing and you think it will move you ahead in the relationship.
By the way, delay, it counts about a thousand fold when it comes to sex. Few things are sexier than a man who doesn't lose it at the sight of an exposed breast. Don't make her think that her tits were the first lumps you've ever seen apart from Playboy magazine. If you can control yourself and delay satisfaction until you're ready to give it, the anticipation becomes more powerful than act alone and making the act all the more powerful when it happens. Yes, I'm still talking about sex but I'm talking about all the rest of it too. Trust me the "delay" game works.
Bar advice. Guys should find ways to improve themselves and not appear boring. One idea is to picture a role model as a muse to the change and try to emulate him. Most importantly find out what women are looking for.
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