Social spheres

Guys, memorizing a few common openers when meeting girls and being prepared builds some confidence to "just do it" for those who constantly hesitate and, in doing so, their results will improve because they are at least doing something whereas before they did nothing. Hence, the perception of better results based on material when, in fact, at least for the beginner, the bigger impact comes from taking action versus not taking action.

Once you get over this hump and approaching girls are no longer issues, you will begin to feel the need to have a natural context for normal conversations to take place. When approaching women you need to focus on getting under the radar to get "in' faster and easier than what might otherwise be perceived as a "pickup". You may wonder why this is important. It is a subtlety that you won't hear about often because it requires the person to explain social context, especially the context of a typical woman's world and thought process. Most women who aren't normally promiscuous, especially when they're younger, see the world of meeting men as; through friends, being introduced or waiting until they are approached.

Still, even when a man approaches her, in the back of her mind she will later have to describe to her girlfriends and immediate social network how she met him. She does not want to be perceived as promiscuous(even if she is) and she, like many women, will need to feel validated. Unlike most men, most women know they can get just about any man to sleep with them if they just simply offer. It's the truth! This, however, is not the goal for them. The primary goal is to find a man who they are interested in, but there is a lot of pressure to also meet him through established "social spheres". Let's review some places of intimacy or familiarity that would meet, within a woman's social context or the notion of a "social sphere" that meets approval would be.
* Met at a respectable vacation resort
* Met at a location of mutual interest(museum, concert, etc)
* Met at a social club event(painting class, pottery, etc)
* Met at a private party(wedding, celebration, holiday, etc)
* Have a mutual friend(better still a parents friend)
* Involved in mutual activity (volunteering, hobby)
* Go to same school(university, management, etc)
* Work at same company(co-worker or client)

In contrast, those situations women will feel their friends,family, or co-workers might look upon negatively.
* Happen to be in same place, no context
* Met on the Internet
* Met in a bar or club
* Met on the street
* Met at random but common location (store, elevator,etc)

For women, at least if anything more than a secret fling is to occur, the means in which they meet must match their notion(and their friends' notions) of "social sphere". That is not to say the places that will have negative approval cannot be construed to be within a "social sphere" context. Only that upon initial reflection how such situations will be seen. I'll explain in a moment.

Guys, put yourself in places and situations where the women you meet will not hesitate based on a context that people they know will not look upon negatively. It's easier to meet women from within the context of social spheres or mutual interests than walking up to them as a literal stranger. The point here is to explain 'why' this is the case and with the knowledge of 'why' we can now get to the good stuff. How to still succeed in places and situations that would normally be stacked against you!

It is possible to get past context issues by playing with subtlety. Imagine approaching women within their social spheres as a "hot" approach and approaching her outside those circles as a"cold" approach. Then the way you look at this is to find an avenue for a middle ground to turn "cold" approaches into "warm" ones. You can also see warm approaches as possibly more positive for her because they allow her to pursue a relationship that, if doesn't go well, won't put the structure of her established social sphere into chaos. For example, if you meet a woman in a bookstore, you must find common ground of familiarity(same book section) and context to allow for what could be perceived as "social sphere". You can even bend the laws of logic to do so! So long as you can achieve attraction in the interaction. Context issues will not be a problem if you can have her perceive the meeting to be at least peripherally within her perception of her social sphere.

A girl in the foreign language section of the bookstore might be interested to learn a new language. For the context of that approach, so are you. That is your subtle context but that's not enough. There must be familiarity with something in the environment. In terms of conversation and interaction, this would be known as "rapport", but in terms of initiating to meet someone, it would be a shared element of the environment or a shared observation. In addition, opening this way allows you to quickly find a context of familiarity and rapport but, and this is a big but, you must not chase the rapport, but rather allow it to come about on its own through your lead.

With this style of warm approach, you utilize an observation of the environment around her to create your opener and deepen the connection to her social sphere by connecting the overall environment to a mutual interest or lifestyle or common connection. You may not come up with the greatest of openers your first few times but getting the swing of this style of approach actually gets you in deeper from the start. You must work on your powers of observation. To get you started, here is a list of things in her environment you can take notice of.
*Where you both are
*Something she is looking at
*Something she is wearing or using
*Something interesting in front of her
*Music which may be playing in the background
*Someone on TV(if there's one nearby)
*Some occasion in the country(national holiday, etc)

Once opened, pinpoint a common ground for you and her and during conversation reinforce(interpret) how this common ground connects the both of you and continue with the attraction skills that you know best. Remember that you are just getting to know someone that will be weary of you, your approach, your intentions and may have been hurt in the past. Take it slow guys. You need to breath as well.

Bar advice. The women also are assessing you so don't expect all doors to be opened. It doesn't work that way.

Top Secret Fat Loss Secret

In what is perhaps the most shocking announcement made in some time regarding the diet and health industry, a lady doctor has just released what some authorities are calling the world's "Top Secret Fat Loss Secret!"

The woman doctor, whose name is Dr Suzanne Gudakunst, has really upset the major food & drug industries, as well as weight loss manufactured food companies.

In the past six years she has worked largely in secret developing what may be the "cure" for obesity and testing this first on herself, and then on a select group of volunteer patients who anxiously awaited salvation from the harmful effects of suffering "the battle of bulge." So valuable her shocking findings and proven results are, that she's now just released her simple and easy-to-do system under the aptly titled; "Top Secret Fat Loss Secret!" and her timing couldn't be better! ...

Since recent studies reveal obesity has now reached epidemic proportions, her secret may well prove a major life saver to the now more than 40% of people alone who are labeled "obese!"

Children are now considered "fatter than ever" by most experts, and Dr Suzanne's remedy may prove a preventative in the fight against later-in-life developed diabetes when these same children grow into adults!

And what may be the BIGGEST "Shock" of all is this horrifying fact. Dr Suzanne has received death threats for simply making her secret fat loss solution available to the general public and from what law enforcement investigators believe may be insiders in the weight-loss or diet food manufacturing and weight-loss drug treatment industries!

One federal law enforcement official(who insists on remaining nameless) said in confidence, "It's no shock to us at the [agency name withheld for security purposes that this lady doc has received so many threats on her life as food and drug companies stand to lose potentially billions of dollars by the release of her new breakthrough secret for losing weight."

But now with the release of this breakthrough weight and fat loss revelation, people who previously struggled so very hard with little or any success in the fight against the "extra pounds" now have a VAST & POWERFUL WEAPON on their side for a well-deserved change!

When asked if she feared retaliation from pharmaceutical and weight-loss food manufacturers, she said almost too hopefully? "I wish they would do so especially in public because to get fired upon for this would demonstrate more than ever that I must have done something very, very right as anyone with common sense would see that the only reason they are in business in the first place is because being overweight as a population only serves to make them even richer and what I've done is going to free masses of people from being slaves to them for good, even many millions."

So despite the continued threats, Dr Suzanne is more on the ball and out to ruffle as many feathers as she can with her New "TOP SECRET Fat Loss Secret!" To be sure the good doctor isn't going this alone! Nope. She's got some very big heavy-hitters on her side!

Joined in unison by some of the biggest names in modern medicine from the likes of Johns Hopkins, Harvard Medical, and a good number of the other leading world-recognized hospitals and higher-learning institutions, Dr Suzanne moves rapidly forward in her personal "war" on ugly, unwanted fat and for the pursuit of better and eventually optimal health for all! Additionally, you should know that nothing about her secret fat loss cure is difficult or hard to do.

What you may even find strangely surprising about her secret is the fact that it can by done by anyone effortlessly! (You'll have to see it for yourself to understand how this is actually possible!) So if you are someone who has been losing the fight against ugly fat and unwanted extra inches (that eventually without a doubt will shorten your life and lower the quality of it), then this is exactly what the good lady doctor ordered!

Also keep this in mind. How many times have you seen sudden "breakthroughs" of such great controversy potentially come along and cause a woman doctor to actually get death threats for her secret 'know-how?' You're right, very, very few.

Bar advice. Don't overlook this chance as it may very well prove to be one of the most influential and important ones you've ever received. Some of you anyway.

Click banner below

Singer Cassie

I recently met R&B Singer Cassie, online. She's currently promoting her new movie and new album out this month. The movie's called Step Out 2. She acts, dances and sings the theme song in it. When I first sent her a message she was kind of pissed off with me because I asked if it was really her adding everything online including the messages. Here's her reply...

"hey there, if u hav ever heard me state in my interviews.... i do my own sites.. no one does the dirty work for me, although there are people here who pose as me.... this is the official cassie site!!"

Could you blame me for thinking that a celebrity would pay someone for doing this work for them. She did forgive me so I guess she may have understood why I asked that question in the first place. Later I asked her if I could call her just by her first name Cassie. I was also going on like I knew her for ages and here's her reply...

"sure u can... im really glad u asked that question... coz really, i have a separate blog at http://www.cassie.ns4life.com.... and i try to keep all my fans updated nd give information on there... and i use You Tube too lol, just look at all the videos on my profile but i really like to keep my fans informed they're the people who made me sooo its only right to interact with them and keep them in the know... oh and the photo comments; thank you so much that was sweet of u.... the latest with me... my major role in the movie step up 2: the streets ... i don't kno if you've heard of it but it was released on valentine's day... and my album will soon be released in may hopefully the 20th...called the return.... and my single... my first single will air on the radio sometime in march called official girl so... ya take care... thnx for being interested!!"

As I was still chatting I check out the blog and found another website which I asked her about because it had videos of her and her hairstylist Caesar talking about a party they attended with other stars and got this reply....

"oh kool http://www.lovecassie.com is my band website,,, but the other site i just named is official as well... and well that video with caeser was a long time ago.... now i am in new york trying to promote both movie and album... any way... i must go... bye!!"

I know there's a lot of grammer mistakes by her. She wasn't writting a blog but a message to me so forgive her. So now once in a while I get a message out and Cassie replies when she's free. Normally within a day or two. Can you believe that? Like I said before, you never know who you can meet online and who can become a friend. I know it's not like she'll be thinking about me or anything like that but it's nice to know she'll remember me every time I send a message. Also she seems so pleasant and down to earth. Cheers to my new friend, her movie and her new album. May she win a Grammy next year.

Bar advice. Don't prejudge who you don't know. People, yes even celebrities, can surprise you with who they are deep down inside.

No feelings

I often hear people say that after going out with a lady once, how come she wouldn't want to go out with them again. If you guys are asking the same, you'd be treated with this 'final answer' that once and for all lays that question to rest.

A majority of the women coincidentally say, "Because there were NO FEELINGS" to the guy when the date ends. It may seem too unclear, so let's explore what does "no feelings" mean exactly when women say that. Firstly, when a woman goes out with a guy the first time, she's hoping it would be different on that new date as compared to other disappointing ones she went to. She secretly craves to feel some emotions on a date. Hopeful that the guy can spark some special interest in her. In cases where there's zero emotions generated, she tells her friends or colleagues the next day how much the date, or the guy, sucked. She also uses these words to get out of guys that are pester her constantly to go out or who she feels may disclose that he likes her.

Opposite is true too. When she did experience feelings on a date, she'll tell her friends how much she wanted to see that guy again. So, on an unspoken level, a woman wants to feel three primary emotions on a date.

1)She wants to feel you are interesting. That means having a 'thrill factor' and fascination associated with interacting with you. Most dates are called 'boring' by ladies simply because she experienced a lack of something new. As a guideline, the amount of giggling and smiles from the female is a fair measure of how interesting the experience is. Use that as a measurement device for the amount of interest you generate on a date. However, being interesting alone is not enough sometimes.

2)She wants feelings of getting attracted to you. Human beings have 'mating habits', just like any other species on earth. Within these mating habits, there are "rules" that define what makes a man "high mating quotient" and what makes him a person of "low mating quotient". The good news is, man is a 'self-correcting' species, with the ability to learn and turn from low to high mating quotient. On a date, it's your role to reflect the super male traits that women naturally get attracted to in a man. This is no bull. It's instinctive in females since the dawn of mankind and caveman days when trying to develope a realtionship.

3)She wants to feel she bonded with you. You may have the most interesting things to say, but if you don't know how to create closeness or bridge the gap between you and her, the date may not work out well. It's a pity when some guys go out with women and spend the whole day chatting but in the end nothing is done to pull close the distance. You may get a shot at another date but if it happens again you'll be pushed to the "friends" list in her book.

So, the date is simply a 'frame of time' that gives you an opportunity to bring about the above feelings in the gal. One thing's for sure, you'll definitely find yourself in dating situations with women in future. Since it's going to be unavoidable, try to masterfully ace that date. How; is going to be up to you guys really.

Bar advice. There will be times when a lady just 'clicks' with you right off the bat. Well, don't waste too much time thinking about what skills to use. Let things take a natural course.

Flirting tips and relationship advice for women

Flirting is your way of letting the opposite sex know that you're "on the prowl". How available you are determines how you flirt and how serious you are about making and taking things to the next level. Here we'll discuss tips on how women can flirt with positive results. This is not a discussion about women being equals or being submissive to a male, but rather a primer on tactics that will attract interest to men. Everything that comes after you have gotten his interest is up to you and your style. The relationship advice portion is added to expand on what can happen.

Now, everybody enjoys looking at something they find appealing and you don't want him to think you don't have an interest in him do you? Best beginning is to glace over to him often until you have gotten a contact of about two seconds. This will establish the setting. If you're insecure about this you'll perhaps find it difficult to hold his gaze for a moment longer than you should but you really must look at him to begin the flirting process. Looking away will will throw him off and that's hardly what you want, is it? If you're really confidant, don't go making the reverse mistake by staring at him. Men may love it but in reality, being stared at makes a person feel awkward and embarrassed. The best is a balance of looking into his eyes and then looking down to break the tension. Most women do this almost naturally but that too may not work. Why? Well, a guy won't know to if he should approach or if you're just looking for a hair pin that dropped. He may just leave you alone and you'll get nowhere.

Another key element would be to smile. Naturally most women do if they're talking to someone but even if you're just looking from a far keep it on because you never know who else may be interested. If a guy sees a smiling face he may be more at ease to approach even if he was not the intended person directed. When he talks, smile in appropriate places and be conscious of your smile as you talk. Don't sit there with a false grin or he'll think you've forgotten to take your medication. A smile shows interest and best of all, it's contagious. If you combine this with appropriate eye contact it will begin to solidify your hold over him and you can progress to the next step.

Keeping interest. Nobody likes it when someone ignores them or doesn't pay attention to them. Guys find it hard enough trying to talk to women. If you don't show interest in what he does or says, he's going to think you're not interested and if he starts shifting interest to your girlfriends or someone else, don't blame him. People leading busy lives fail to remember to take a little to vest in the interest of the person they're with. This is also true for men with women.

Conversation should be light and easy. It should also be flowing with fun and talking about interesting subjects won't bore anyone. If you've been out several times already maybe you can start to share some deeper conversations about relationship concerns but if you don't think it's the right time, leave it out. No necessity for heavy commitments at the beginning. If you start to pressure a guy into a deeper relationship after the first or few meetings, he's going to run for the hills. He's either going to think you've just ended a relationship and you're on the rebound, isn't ready and is just jumping at whatever falls in your lap at the moment or you're completely psychotic. Very rarely, but, who in their right mind starts a relationship that quick and with someone you barely know? Are you that desperate?

Behaviour is something that a lot of guys are always checking. What do I mean by this? A lot of guys like it when their girls are at their sides. They may talk to others but they appreciate it, especially when talking among other guys, that the girl will touch them, hold their hand or place it on their shoulder leaning a little. Maybe even a kiss before heading to the ladies room. This is because men want to feel like the women they're with really wants them. She's not interested in anyone else there and she's not looking anymore. Another thing is women that get drunk or really high tend to change into some witch from the depths of the piss pot. She's not only taking loudly but she's demeaning him, scolding, shouting, crying, showing tantrums like a kid and worse of all her clothes are either coming off or parts of her are being exposed to everyone. No guy wants anything to do with YOU if you're like that.

Being a secret friend can be a decider in a blossoming relationship. What's that you ask? They guy likes it when you tell him a secret about yourself. Let it be something that others don't know but also isn't damaging to you if you two break up later on. Also keeping him in confidence about work and family difficulties makes a guy feel that you value him enough to seek his advice or opinions. Try also to get him to open up to you in this manner and as time goes by you two will be sharing stuff like you were already husband and wife for years. So you see, my relationship advice and flirting tips for women could be beneficial to you.

Bar advice. There's obviously more than meets the eye on all these flirting tips and relationship advice but these are some good factors to consider when the next guy comes along.

The wonder of girls

Therapist Micheal Gurian probes the unique aspects of girls' emotional, social and physical development. First, though, he takes a few stabs at feminism, arguing that several of its theories (which, it must be noted, he incorrectly over simplifies) need to be revised or even discarded by parents seeking to raise healthy girls. But Gurian's trademark is examining how biology impacts behavior. Biological matters hormones, brain differences (girls' brains are "more broadly active" than boys' and have 15% more blood flow) ultimately define girls' and boys' journeys through childhood and adolescence, Gurian argues in his book, The wonder of girls.

Even a girl's drop in self-esteem during adolescence is a "natural," biological phenomenon rather than a result of negative cultural influences. Feminists, he argues, have ignored the biological differences in order to successfully compete with men in the workplace; in so doing, they have denied or downplayed a girl's desire for intimacy and the experience of motherhood. Gurian urges parents to use a new model in raising girls (he calls it "Womanism") in which motherhood is a "season" when careers must be adjusted or put on hold. The author boldly suggests that parents prepare their daughters for the sacrifices of motherhood, and ensure that girls establish a three family system (the nuclear family, the extended family and institutions such as church or school) that will meet their need for intimate relationships. Expect Gurian's arguments to stir controversy and inspire thought.

Bar advice. This may just tick off some women out there but there's a lot of stuff that's beneficial for girls this day and age that is lacking in modern day. Read to see.

Anal Sex - How to get them to Want It

This is a continuation of people that are inquisitive about the taboo subject of anal sex. It may help with some of the questions for those trying to get your partner to have it with you. Don't get me wrong, there's also a lot of girls that are happy doing it and will want you to do it or expect you to.

Probably the slow approach is best. Some girls that may already have done it and want's to do it with you may not tell you that they like it or want it at first so that they don't look eager. After all they don't want to be seen as sluty or easy. Taking it slower is best and all will come together.


The taboo about this subject is something that covers it being "bad", "not good", "evil", "not done by others", "immoral" and so on. These taboos are normal and natural to expect because this was designed as an "out hole" and not an "in hole". Check all avenues to clear your minds of what you need to know. Also check out www.askdanandjennifer.com for more help. Lets hope these two You Tube videos are some help in the matter.


Bar advice. What you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is up to you. Just remember that a girl showing her leg above the knee use to be taboo. Would you consider it silly today?

Anal sex

In today's world, anal sex is not seen as taboo as some time ago. It has become part of mainstream sexual intercourse. In previous years, some twenty perhaps, anal sex in X-rated movies was really the "extreme". Those that see and do it now feel it is normal. Back then it was unthinkable.

I guess it was just a matter of time before it did become mainstream but for a lot of women it is still something that they are not use to. After all they're not porn stars putting on a show. They're not use to it and a lot of them probably feel that it hurts too much to be considered as pleasurable. It's hard enough trying to understand and enjoy the normal sexual parts of the body and now they have to figure out what's lacking or what they may be missing out on. That's the thoughts they are having and the worst thing is, they don't have anyone to talk to about this subject when they may have boyfriends or husbands that have asked for it.

I know, I know, you women are going to say "he's just going to have to live without it" but guess what; you're curious too. Women today have probably seen the act itself on the Internet or photos spread in some networking website like Myspace or Tagged. The photos will be splashed all over by people trying to seek the attentions of others that enjoy it. The modern day woman is more eager to try new things as well. She will certainly be keen to talk to other woman who have done it or at least get information about the sexual pleasure or discomforts it brings. Women don't want to lose out on anything but they also like to be armed with knowing what their man likes and seeks from a woman.

No, we mustn't count out the secretive world of women that do certain things behind closed doors either. She may have read it in a book, seen a video, talked to a girlfriend that's done it or checked online but one thing that women have that they can rely on to help them adjust if they are going ahead to experiment is, the trusty vibrator. Gels and lubricants can easily be bought so it's going to be easy for her to try it herself without any embarrassments, "forced" pain from a guy or stopping the act of love making half way to the displeasure of her man. They wouldn't want to have their man think that they're not "experienced" or their sexual knowledge is primitive. Of course, the guy may have never done it before either, so he's not about to start asking for anal sex unless he's more knowledgeable. Now the tables have turned.

Men have probably heard, talked about it or seen the act being done more so than women. Instinctively they will probably be more curious because anal sex is also different to them as well. Another place to insert for sexual pleasure needs to be checked out. To be absolutely blunt, unless the woman's been doing it for years, the feeling is one where it will feel tighter and more pleasurable to the man especially when she squeezes and contracts the muscles to ease the pain she may feel. In that process she's unknowingly giving more pleasure to the man without her realizing it. He will just keep stroking back and forth happily while she resists due to pain. However, if she has mentally prepared and is willing, all she has to do is to apply lubricant, resist as little as possible to his motion and she'll probably also enjoy herself. It may take a few times to become easier but it can be satisfying. As I've been told by women.

I know there's a lot of women that will say they are happy with just normal intercourse, maybe some extras, and that's fine. My point here is for those that are in a sexual relationship and want to experiment with each other or for their own pleasure. This is just some relationship advice for them. It's also better to talk to someone about it before proceeding but my advice on this is to talk among yourselves. Why? Well, you two are the ones that will be doing it. Discussing what will happen, the pain threshold, stoppage if there's bleeding(there can be) and whatever comes to mind can be worked out by the lovers easier than someone telling you what to do. It may just make one or both more scared than they already are.

Making love in new ways will keep evolving. No woman sucked on a man's penis before or a man licking a woman at her Virgina. That was unheard of in the western world except that written in the Karma Sutra. The evolution starts when people find new ways of sexual pleasure or desire. It begins with a few but spreads quickly when others find new things pleasurable as well. It slowly becomes acceptable in mainstream sexual intercourse when doctors educate people that it's not a taboo subject or a taboo act anymore. Not just anal sex but anything else that may come in the future.

Bar advice. Anal sex is here to stay. I didn't invent it but someone asked me about it and I had avoided the subject on the blog for some time now but I felt that I have to address it at some point. Probably again in the future as well.