Meeting the fairer sex

For most guys, meeting girls at clubs is difficult for them. They prefer to meet girls at bookstores, malls, coffee shops, and other daytime "low pressure" venues but meeting girls at clubs can actually be far easier than at daytime venue.

I know that can sound counter intuitive. After all, at a club you have to deal with loud music that can be difficult to talk over, distracting lights, competition from other guys, and girlfriends of the girl you want to know. Worse still, if you go alone you don't know anyone else while it looks like everyone else is having fun. It makes you stick out like a soar thumb.

Even if you go with your friends they're no help either because all they do is stand immobilized by hesitation with a beer at their chest and know next to nothing about picking up girls anyway. Has the following ever happened to you? You walk into the club, checking out how "good" it is. You walk around the entire club to check it out. You don't know anyone, and you don't have anything to do, so you walk around again checking out all the girls. You get bored. Perhaps you get a drink. You walk over to the dance floor and stare at it.

Of course, 20 other guys are also staring at the dance floor. Like a master bed in the center of a master bedroom, the dance floor commands attention. It is very hypnotic because it draws all the people to it. You nurse your beer and eventually decide to walk around the club again. Nothing happens so you decide that the club
"sucks" and then you eventually leave to find a better place.

The problem is, this kind of behavior is the exact opposite of what you should do, because by wandering around you convey certain negative information to girls that shoots down your chances before you even make an approach. When you circle around a club, women notice that you're alone. Most won't label you a "lone psycho" but they've make a mental note that you're alone and therefore lack any social value. Women give you social value by how hot the women and men you're with are.

But most guys walk around the entire club multiple times alone, collecting negative social value the entire time. Think about it. When you first walk into the club, the girls know nothing about you. You could be Justin Timberlake's best friend for all they know. This is your chance to shape their blank impression of you but what do most guys do?

They instantly go about setting a negative impression of themselves by walking around the room and staring at the dance floor. This is what all the guys who have no social value do. So then, if and when you do approach a hot girl, she lacks interest in you because she's already categorized you, all thanks to your actions. Thus, most guys give up on clubs because they're "too hard" but it's not that clubs are "too hard". It's that you're doing them all wrong.

Making clubs or bars work for you is easy. In fact, meeting hot girls at clubs is easier than at other places and you can make them work just as well as if you go with friends or if you go alone. You just have to know what to do. Here are the steps you could use.

When you first walk into the club, SMILE. A lot of women watch the door to size up the guys coming in. Remember, as you walk in your social status is a "blank slate" and you want to be immediately shaping a good first impression. Just don't grin like you shot your face with botox and can't move it.

As soon as you're in, try talking to the first available set of girls or set of girls and guys. Don't look for a lone girl, you won't find her. You'll want to talk to two girls or a guy and a girl which are much easier to find. There. It immediately looks like you have friends. It doesn't matter if the set goes particularly well other women will notice that you're with other girls. They will immediately peg you with social value because they have no idea that you've only just met these girls. Some may opt to go to the bar counter but if you can start up a conversation with someone, it's better than standing there all alone.

Avoid looking at the dance floor like the plague. The dance floor is naturally hypnotic and will naturally draw you in. I know the girls are there but don't look at it. There is nothing there. It is an illusion. Looking at the dance floor only generates NEGATIVE social proof for you. Second, avoid walking around. You only look a like a valueless loner when you do this. Also, if you've built up any positive social proof in one corner of the club, you'll lose it all if you move to another corner. Third, avoid the noisiest areas of the club. Find the quietest area where it's easiest to talk and plant yourself there. You don't want to be yelling over ear breaking noise and most clubs do have a quiet corner or two.

Remember, you walk in with zero social proof, with a clean slate. Everything you do will either up your status or lower it. Everything you do signals women to categorize you as a "loner" or as a "sexy guy". Now the question is, how do you start talking to girls in a club situation? What are good opening lines? After all, I can tell you that you need to approach women right away, but that does you little good unless you know what to say to them. We can cover that another time.

Bar advice. Always remember that women are constantly on the prowl for a guy as well. They size you up the moment they lay eyes on you.

Le Femme. La Chicka

Last week Thursday a gorgeous woman came to the bar. I thought she may have been Spanish but I later got to find out that she was Mexican on her father's side and French on her mother's side. What a combination of Le femme(french) and La chicka(Spanish). Her looks were more to the Mexican side because she wasn't blond.

I got to talking to her at the bar because she came alone. She flew there because she came to visit her sister that works in the French embassy. She spoke to me in fairly good English but with a french accent. I was quite captivated with her because she was also very bubbly and cheerful. After several beers, I got her to open up about why she was really there so far from home.

In a nutshell, she sort of wanted to distance herself from home due to domestic issues. Her man was two, or should I say, ten timing her. She got to this subject because I told her that I blog so she opened up to me. I gave her my advice and it was true that I heard of stories like hers before but hers was a bit more sad. I won't say why but that's the gist of it. We talked about it for a while and she was very open to suggestions and advice as well. In the end we just kept drinking till I closed the bar.

Later I took her to my friends bar for a few more beers. She was apprehensive to go at first but willing after I convinced her that I was no "killer". She actually stated that it was just for "enjoyment" that she was going for. I sensed that she was just feeling lonely, hurt and just needed company to feel good about herself. I liked her because she was hot. We had great chemistry going and I didn't want to lose out like I did with the Japanese girl two weeks before. This one had a hotel room to go to later.

We then proceeded to another bar that was below my friends bar because he closed early on weekdays. We were still drinking beer but we had a few tequila shots as well. The music was louder because there was dancing. Whenever we wanted to talk we had to move closer to each other's face and at times when we tried to talk at the same time we faced the odd mouth to mouth instead of the mouth to ear position. You know what I mean? Anyway, at one point I just wanted to kiss her because she let me place my hand on her thigh and we sat so close to each other. Plus, she smelt so good.

After a while it finally happened. Just as I said, we ended up in a mouth to mouth position while talking and we finally locked lips. We just moved into each other. It was one of the most slow seductive kisses that I have ever had. Also, she had this incredible soft tongue. I only ever had one other girl like that before. I had forgotten that till I kissed her that night. I think we both were looking forward to it after flirting the whole night and drinking. Later I got the bill and we were off to her hotel.

Making love to her was a dream come true. It was like a fantasy of me being with Bridget Bardot and Jennifer Lopez at the same time. Three of us in fantasy but in reality just two. What a night. I left her at six in the morning because she needed sleep as she was leaving the next day and checking out at noon. When I got back I started to think about the things that I write in this blog and some of the advice that I give out to guys trying to get girls and such. This was just one of the things that could have happened to another guy and he'd be regretting for all time that he never stepped up and lost out on getting the girl.

Not to say that a one night stand is something to be proud of but when two people know that this is exactly what the other one needs and wants or that nobody is about to move to the others country and start a relationship; no harm done. We were both mutual consenting adults in need of the others presence and pleasure. Relationships can sometimes be short and sweet.

Bar advice. A women, beautiful or not, picks and chooses who she wants and what she wants. Her choice here was just someone that listened to her but was fun enough to make her smile and laugh again.

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Bar Advice. If you have always tried to make some money online and just don't know how, well here it is.

Being a gentleman gets you the girls

Yes that's right. You want to be a gentleman in small ways and do small courtesies for her. Like opening and closing the car's passenger side door for her to get in or holding the door open for a woman and allowing her to walk through first. How about allowing the woman to step off the elevator first before you do. If she's wearing a genuinely nice dress or an interesting accessory, to compliment her on it. Also listening to her, genuinely listening to her when she has something to say.

Now notice that none of these small courtesies have anything to do with money. By being chivalrous, you are not attempting to buy her affections. Instead, you're showing her courtesies that she would expect any guy with a good heart to show all women, regardless of whom the woman was or her looks. After all, wouldn't you hold the door open for your grandmother or help her down the steps? Wouldn't you genuinely listen to what your best friend had to say?

Chivalrous behavior shows to a woman that you have a side of you that is of a refined gentleman. It's your protective side the side of you that would look after her if she got sick and be there to feed her chicken soup. Well maybe she hates chicken but you get the point. She'll know that you'll be there for her.

Chivalrous behavior demonstrates to a woman that you have social intelligence that you act appropriately in different social situations. For example, if she found herself at the Presidential Ball with you, she would know you could hold your own with the suit wearing elites and wouldn't act like some foul mouthed jackass. If she introduced you to her parents she would know you wouldn't slap her ass in front of her dad or crack dirty jokes in front of her mom.

Of course, being chivalrous in small ways doesn't mean being careful and conservative about how you act around women. Chivalry doesn't mean becoming a boring stiff who is always worried whether he's acting in the right manner. Also, chivalry doesn't mean "Knightly Chivalry" where you ride in on a white horse, recite poems, and sprinkle rose pedals around her feet like she's Queen Guinevere. Being chivalrous isn't the same as being wishy-washy "nice".

For example, after helping her out of the car, you might make a funny face at her. A few minutes after holding her hand down some steps you might start a tickling match with her. After noticing her new dress makes her look sexy, you might give her a playful slap on the ass. The key is to be relaxed, playful and fun and punctuate it with chivalric behavior.

Surprise her by showing how much a gentlemen you can be at moments, and how much a gentleman you are to ALL women including your friends, relatives, and even total strangers. You may hit her by surprise in the back of the head gently with a pillow or call her a "dork" in a teasing kind of way, but you also help old ladies across the street. When she hear others complementing how much of a chivalrous guy you are, she'll see you with different eyes.

Remember, you want her to think that you're a good guy with a good heart, not a wet noodle of a "nice guy" who will do anything for her no matter how badly, rudely or childish she acts. Small acts of courtesy will get you farther in this respect than any number of large gifts.

A lot of guys think that they have to buy their way to a woman's heart or at least have enough money, looks, cars, profession, and so on to win a woman's affections. For those that don't have these, what do you do? A woman will stick by you through thick and thin if you possess true manly qualities that SHE desires.

Bar advice. Following the example of "James Bond" in movies, you can sense that he's seen by all the women as the sort that they desire. Take that as an example of chivalry and courtesies.

Bad habits

I just don't get some of the things that people do at the bar. Lots of people pick up bad habits from friends. Apply it. Think it's cool but don't know that the things they do irritates others. What things am I talking about?

People just don't get that tearing out the labels from beer bottles and sticking them on glasses or the table tops can be time consuming to remove or clean up. Another thing is when people tear up coasters into pieces and try to place it back into the original shape and make a jigsaw puzzle out of it. They leave it there so when someone tries to pick it up it falls apart instead of just one piece. There's many pieces that needs to be cleared so more time is lost.

These people also make things worse when they place chewing gum under the tables or chairs. It's not only disgusting when others have to clean it but it's also socially wrong. The chewing gum companies know that this is a problem and they leave clear messages on their wrappers telling people to keep the foil so they can dispose of it later. This bit seems to skip the intelligence of these people. Sometimes they even just throw it on the ground and this makes it more difficult to remove.

Why do people pick up on these bad habits. Most of the time we see that it's a lot of younger people doing it. They are suppose to be the future leaders of the world. Instead they are showing a bad example and the worse part is that they either don't care or don't see that bad habits like these are socially wrong and their character is tarnished because they act in this manner.

Other bad habits can be spitting on the road. They don't know that this can lead to people getting tuberculosis. Some people don't flush the toilet after use. Some don't wash their hands either. If an ice bucket is place on the table for their drinks, some use their hands instead of the tongs. God only knows what they touched before contaminating all those other ice cubes that others will be placing in their drinks. Think about it. Some guy scratched his ass in the toilet and then placed it in the same ice bucket that you're going to take from to use in your drink. Tasty, isn't it?

There's so many other bad habits that people do as well. One thing that I sense is that these people tend to pick them up from their circle of friends. It becomes something that is normal to them and they think that everyone does it so it's not wrong or that it's not a bad habit at all. Parents can only do so much to teach but the individual person has to make a conscious effort to change and tell others that the things they do are wrong.

Bar advice. A friend is someone that will tell you the truth in your face. Not ignore it or stay away from the topic because of the friendship.

Response

The other day I went to another bar after work. I had been there before and knew several people. Initially I went to a friends one that was above. Later I went to this particular one and got a real surprise.

As I was enjoying myself a friend later came over to tell me about some business that I helped him with in putting the right people to see him and solve the problem. he then left. I looked across the bar and this girl that I met two weeks ago was there. She smiled at me from the lower side of the bar. I raised my glass to her like a toast. Later I moved up a little when the area was not so crowded. i finally got a little closer to her when suddenly it happened.

She turned and was still smiling. I said hello and so did she. Then I said, " Sorry I can't remember your name". In one swift answer she replied, " Well, that's your loss". I was stunned at the response. This nice looking girl that I just met two weeks ago and barely got her name but now forgot, had turned into this stuck up bitch. I actually felt angry. I went over to her and said that I really did forget but she was adamant not to speak to me. I backed away. I guessed she must have read some girly magazine article that told her it was better to shoot down a guy if they forget your name.

I figured the loss was hers. I'll probably see her again but no salutations will I give her. I'll see what she does next. If she did get this advice from some magazine I just advise her to stop subscriptions because the articles are only going to ruin her love life.

Bar advice. They say don't judge a book by it's cover. Well this cover was great but the content wasn't.

Synchronicity

Here is something that we may not understand or even know about but in this cycle of life many things occur that cannot be explained or better still is just too coincidental. It's a synchronic phenomena. Here's an example.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both their wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both were shot in the head in the presence of their wives.

The Secretary of each President warned them not to go to the theatre and Dallas, respectively.

Lincoln’s Secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both Presidents were assassinated by Southerners.
Both Presidents were succeeded by Southerners.

Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins:
Were known by their three names.
Have fifteen letters in their names.
Were murdered by men who pleaded insanity.
Were thought to be involved in a conspiracy.

John Wilkes Booth ran from the theatre and was captured in a warehouse.
Lee Harvey Oswald ran from a warehouse and was captured in a theatre.

There are no accidents. Just synchronicity wheels commonly known as the gears of time or the wheels of time, the wheel of karma. As seen above, not all synchronicities are positive. Sometimes these lead to learning lessons when you are deceived into thinking that it is the right road to take at that moment in time.

This is not always the case. If you are dysfunctional of dramatic inclinations, you will attract dysfunctional people and events. There are two fundamental types of synchronicity:
1. One in which the compensatory activity of the archetype is experienced both inwardly and outwardly. (The event seems to emerge from the subconscious with access to absolute knowledge, which cannot be consciously known.)

2. One in which the compensatory activity of the archetype is experienced outwardly only. (These convey to the ego a much needed wholeness of the self’s perspective; they show one a new perspective).

At a point in time, you might feel that you have met someone who interests you and touches your soul. Through synchronicity, that person seems to come into your life over and over again. You begin to feel a destiny with that person. You begin to think with your heart instead of your head. You connect with that person. In some cases, the karma between the two people is positive; but, in many cases, you have attracted that person into your life for a learning lesson whether you are aware of it or not. You won't know the dangers till it's too late.

An event can be considered synchronistic when an inner experience such as a dream, vision, or other form of déjà vu prepares you for the physical event. All synchronistic phenomena may or may not form in our lives.

Bar Advice. Not to put anyone on the alert but some people probably can tell you a story or two about this happening in their lives. It may not be so dramatic but still happened to them.

What if she has a boyfriend?

A lot of guys ask this, "What if she tells me she has a boyfriend?"

The fact is, most beautiful women have a boyfriend most of the time. If men are like spiders trying to catch as many women into their web as they can, women are like swinging tree-monkeys, swinging from boyfriend to boyfriend but never letting go of the first without having a second lined up to grab onto. So you can't just ignore women with boyfriends or you'll severely limit your options.

Most of the time if a girl says she has a boyfriend just ignore it and keep gaming her like normal. Usually, the girl will come around. By the way, the worst thing you can do is let it stop you dead in your tracks, the girl is testing you to see if you're a wuss. Guys got to learn that women like the chase. It's the thrill of the guys attention and pursuit that also triggers desire in her.

One technique to use is a "boyfriend destroyer". A boyfriend destroyer is especially effective if her boyfriend is not meeting her core values and she's looking to leave him anyway and just needs an extra nudge out. This is a way of rooting out the bad her boyfriend has done and making her want to dump him even more. Ask her about why she feels for him still even if he's not making her happy. She'll rattle on about things he didn't do or times he hurt her. Just nod and agree and eventually change the subject because you don't want to let the negative feelings fall on to you because at that moment all men will seem like scum to her.

Another way is to ask a girl what her boyfriend is like. You got to do this in a casual conversation. She'll of course start telling you all about him. You'll probably get the juicy details about how nice he is and such but try to find out what she doesn't like about him or the things he does that drives her up the wall. Why are you so interested in her boyfriend? You're not, what you're doing is gathering information on things she likes and dislikes about a man. She is volunteering this without her even knowing it. You may be able to put some moves on her but slowly because she's still with another guy. Find ways to hint that you like her of sorts. Maybe get her number.

One thing is that some girls are just ga-ga over their boyfriends. Those guys can't do anything wrong even if it was done in front of her. These girls, you can forget about. She loves him and there will be no hope of them splitting up. He will be forgiven for all wrongs so cutting in is near impossible. Sometimes you got to bow out of the scene and take centre stage elsewhere.

Bar advice. Not to say that it's good to take another guys girlfriend but if you like someone, go get her. Advice here is remember this. Other guys may just do the same to your girlfriend against you with this same tactic.